#there are allo people who just aren't interested in it yet too

[tangents-within-tangents]

Me: *complaining about how it's hard for me to relate to typical girl characters bc media makes it seem like all girls are boy crazy and the universal teenager experience revolves around romance and crushes and that just wasn’t true for me*

My mom: Well that’s because you’re not normal. You know, for everyone else that is what it's like

Me: *looks at the camera*

[jadeacereigen]

Why I see Reigen as asexual

This is a very self-indulgent post, but it's his birthday today and I wanted to compile all the things about Reigen that make me see him as a fellow ace.

Please don't take this list too seriously! None of these are This Is Canon signs and some of them are just jokes. Also, it's pretty hard to find evidence of asexuality barring a character explicitly saying "hey i never feel sexual attraction" so bear with ne here.

1. That Scene With Dimple

Yeah, we all know the scene.

"But does love always have to come with sexual desires?" -Reigen Arataka

This is what almost asexual person asks at some point. It's just such an asexual quote. Society often conflates the two things as inherently hand-in-hand, but that's not true for everyone!

2. He never shows attraction to anyone

Now of course, the story is not primarily focused on him, and he's usually with Mob so he probably wouldn't be flirting in front of him. But there aren't even MOMENTS of him showing a smidge of attraction to other people, even when we see his life without Mob's presence. It really stands out in comparison to other goofy mentor figures in manga/anime who are commonly portrayed as hopeless flirts.

3. He's never been in a relationship before

When asked about his past romantic experiences in the official fanbook, he pretends he's had plenty of passionate romances and then describes a scene from Titanic before saying "Marriage is one of the countless types of lifestyles you can choose. It's best if everyone does whatever they want." So basically, despite being 29 years old at the time of the fanbook, he has had no significant romantic experiences and doesn't see himself getting married. (Even if he might be interested, as I'll explain in the next point.)

This is not exclusive to asexuality of course but it's a very common sentiment for ace people imo

4. He doesn't think he can be in a relationship

In Confession Arc, he has no idea how to ask someone out and has to cheat while giving advice to Mob. He also tells Serizawa afterward that if anyone saw him for who he really was, they'd turn him down right away.

But then, at least in the manga, he says that he hopes he can be in a relationship where he and his partner "can exist without distorting each other". So I think he does want to be in a relationship, he's just way too insecure about himself for many, many reasons.

I like to think one of these reasons is because he is asexual. It's a struggle for allo aces to find someone whose sexual preferences are compatible with ours, and yet it remains important to maintain our boundaries (aka not distort ourselves).

5. His anime outfit has ace flag colors

I mean. Gray, white, pink purple...

6. His reaction to a porn virus

Look at the face of this poor asexual man who spent an entire night trying and failing to get rid of a porn virus...

7. He is asexual

He is just asexual hope this helps (:

[shadysubject06]

BREAKING DOWN YOUR FUCKING DOOR ITS FITTING DOL INTO THE ROYALTY AU TIME.

Uhhh I have no idea how much you know about this AU so I wanna give you a rundown if thats okay and I was gonna do this in a dm but it felt too long so I'm doing it! in an ask!

I wanna go character by character of the main ones but first thing to know! Duckburg and St. Canard are different kingdoms, they're the two main kingdoms & St. Canard are. the bad guys pretty much. Their nobility is all basically F.O.W.L. and they're ruled by a certain King Starling. They've been teasing at war with Duckburg for years now.  Another thing is that clone and Negaverse characters all exist independently with the others, for clones they aren't clones they're just regular existing people like Mads has. a childhood he was a kid he doesn't even meet Gyro until he's in his mid 20s (ages are changed here too I think Gyro's like 35). And as for Negaverse people in this universe there just happens to be two people who look similar and sometimes have similar names and opposite personalities.  I was gonna say the last thing to know is about the magic but I already told you about that :3

Mads- pretty much like the main character of this au? St. Canard is known for their assassin cult, it's the reason nobody wants to go to war with them because they have these silent killers who have never ever missed a target. They're very shrouded in secret and nobody knows much about them.  Guess who is one of them! Mads! He grows up being horribly traumatized by the experience (everyone there is) but it's everything he knows and he doesn't realize how bad it is. so. one day he's given a mission into Duckburg, where he gets too big of a taste of freedom and decides to never go back. Through too long of a series of events to relay here he ends up in the duckburg king's prison where the king takes an interest in him as he's finally caught one of St. Canards famous assassins. Uhhhhhhh silly things ensue and. they end up married.

Nega Fenton- Named simply Fenton Crackshell here to distinguish him from the other Fenton, he's the king of Duckburg! He was formerly a lord under the previous king, Nega Scrooge (who I don't have a distinguishing in-universe name for yet), who was a horrible tyrant who ruled with a bloody iron fist. NFenton overthrows him and becomes king, and he's much better than the last, and he’s good, but not the greatest. He rules with absolute cold logic and does whatever for the Greater Good no matter the sacrifice, though he does what he can to minimize that sacrifice. He's also known for having a bit of a temper and being a little vain. Spending all day interrogating his captive assassin means the questions get more personal, and someoneeeee starts to fall in looove 👀

The Blue Phantom- I have most of their stuff on artfight but yeag they're second hand to the king, they'd inherit the throne if anything happened to him (before Mads shows up). They're the overpowered royal wizard (though they have witch magic as well) who is in charge of any of the castle's magical output (for example there's like. cleaning spells on the rivers all throughout the kingdom so it's drinkable, and that means Blue's in charge of stuff like that). They're not born royalty though.

Nega Gyro- Distinguished in-universe so far by just calling him Lord Gearloose, he was a lord who served under NScrooge alongside NFenton, and now is NFenton's advisor! He's nice but a little shady, in some versions of the au he ends up evil and betrays them all <333 He is the only one with a braincell in the nobility but nobody listens to him because they think he's uptight and controlling.

Gyro- A witch inventor (commoner!) who creates crazy new spells, he was causing such a ruckus in the kingdom with his spells going wrong that he eventually moved outside of the city (which is on the edge of the kingdom, so mostly outside the kingdom as well) for his safety. There he lives in the woods and is allowed to do whatever he wants to do with spells.

Fenton- Gyro's former apprentice turned partner who went with him when he left the city. Gyro doesn't go into the city much anymore so it's Fenton who does, he goes to the markets to sell their spells and they actually have a pretty good business going! Boyd lives with them too but I don't have a backstory for him yet, idk how they acquired this child.

Della- She was a knight who served under NScrooge, and when NFenton led an uprising against him, she stood with Scrooge. Not because she was loyal, he was horrible, but because she wanted to stay on the winning side and didn't think NFenton would win. He did, and he was mad that she went against him so he took away her title and sent her home. The triplets were little at the time (under the age of 5) and she was never around them with her work, so it let her go back home and be a mom. She lives on the edge of the city so she's close friends with Gyro!

Black Heron- she is just kind of. pure evil in this au and I love that for her. If Mads is the main character in this au then she's the main villain/antagonist. She was his old instructor back with the assassins and essentially where he gets most of his trauma from. He was her favorite pupil so she pushed him the hardest and wanted him to be the best, no matter what. Now that he's left she absolutely hates him, and will do whatever she can to get him back at her mercy.

Gandra- Also an assassin, Mads' childhood best friend! (she also may or may not be blind in this au im still thinking on it) She grew up in the same year as him, they shared a bunk bed. They were really close, but the assassin group forbids close relationships and even friendships are frowned upon. This is so they don’t form a closer alliance to each other over their instructors or their cause. Because of this the instructors started doing little things to force them apart, making them work different places or creating a rivalry between them.  By the time Mads leaves in his 20s they are very strained, they barley talk to each other. They really stopped talking when Mads was 18 and moved out of the girls’ sleeping quarters, which meant they couldn’t stay up late talking before bed anymore.  They still care for each other but again it’s incredibly strained. 

SO THOSE ARE THE MAIN CHARACTERS- that does give you some hints at the lore too- timeline wise it goes NSceooge is overthrown by NFenton, Blue is appointed royal wizard by him before he’s even coronated (he meets them in the castle dungeon, long story). Five years later Mads shows up and starts living in the castle, and two years after that there’s a big magic plague which introduces Gyro and Fenton who have a cure. They left the kingdom before NScrooge was overthrown, so they’ve been living in the woods for over 7 years at that point. Anything additional to the storyline will have to happen sometime after the plague fiasco. 

SO FEEL FREE TO FIT DOL IN THERE WHEREVER YOU WANT 💕💕💕 Literally however.

Here’s what I’ve been thinking for her, and ofc you can change however you want, but that when Gyro left the kingdom for causing problems Dol was right there with him.  However she wasn’t one for hiding out in the woods so she moves on into St. Canard, where she is also quickly caught by the nobility for her spell problems. There they realize rather than imprisoning her they can use her, and she becomes some kind of court inventor/witch/wizard/healer, either one or all three. It’s a cutthroat environment but she thrives there, and is given whatever kind of funding she wants. 7 years later, after the plague, she is sent on a kind of diplomatic trip back to Duckburg, and stays at the castle there for a while. She’s not really loyal to her kingdom but has it too good to defect (and mayyyyybe secretly is scared to) so she doesn’t want to leave but she knows how bad they are there, and in some ways she eventually becomes a double agent for Duckburg. So she wouldn’t entirely be a trickster character (probably a little tho-) but I feel like I would want her to be treated as such in the narrative? She’s kind of just a third party with a hand in each world, doing mostly her own thing without entirely bending to the whim of either party. She is just Hanging Out and meddling here and there. So technically she still has to behave according to st canard (because they have an evil king with an army of assassins), but acts in the story like she doesn’t. 

Anyway!!! That’s what I was thinking but ofc do whatever you want! I like the idea of her saying in the Duckburg castle for a few weeks on some kind of business, and I thought it would be funny if Mads doesn’t like her for some reason at first. XD Probably for petty reasons but they eventually become friends :3  Lmk if you have any questions or anything :3333

(One last thing- when Mads was captured by Duckburg he was scheduled for an execution, and as the interrogations kept going on it kept getting pushed back. It was never officially called off it was just rescheduled until no one cared anymore. So because of that everyone just thought he was killed eventually, and stopped caring. BECAUSE OF THAT. St. Canard think he’s dead too, so they’re not looking for him. So when Dol shows up he also has to do what he can to notttttt be recognized) 

SCREAMS AS YOU KICK IN MY DOOR WITH A HISTORY LESSON LDSKNLKDSFNL I was reading this and cross checking it with your dms on the magic system like I was studying for a polisci test. But probably better than I did for those because I failed that class…..

ANYWAYS!!! 

Firstly, congrats on writing three pages of lore in a Tumblr ask! I pasted it into Google docs to read it better cuz my eyes suck skdfnlsdf. I do really quick wanna drop some of the ideas I had for Dol, just in case there are any pieces that you might like to incorporate into the story somehow. I’ve been developing her a lot for the original story I’m working on and I can even finally share an old piece of her DT lore that I never got around to actually using in anything! 

QUICK OG LORE BACKGROUND:

In her DT lore I was eventually gonna reveal that she was either the lead researcher or one of the researchers that headed the cloning project that F.O.W.L did when they made Webby and then later May and June. She stayed on for a while because they said they had info on where Gyro was, but when she figured out that they had no intention of sharing it she escaped after a battle with Heron. Newton was also gonna be one of the cloning experiments, as they would have definitely have tested the clone tech/magic/whatever they used on some random dna first before going with their end game. Dol took him with her because she didn’t want to leave him behind in case F.O.W.L decided to get rid of him now that they knew the cloning stuff worked. 

I’ll try not to ramble too much on this one or I’ll end up writing like…20 pages. In my story Barely Baphomet the world is inhabited by toons of all kinds, but the world they live in has areas that are different genres, and certain toons can’t travel to genres that clash with what they are (example: if an object head toon went to an area that was non fiction, their head would turn unsentient and their body would have no head, killing them.) Dol ends up studying biology in a genre state where there are no slapstick toons (the name for object head, sentient object, and generally all rubberhose toons) and there’s a popular theory in those areas that slapstick toons aren’t truly sentient, but have learned how to mimic the behavior of sentient toons in order to play pranks and cause problems. Long story short, Dol ends up doing tons of experiments on these "unsentient" slapstick toons trying to find a way to transfer their long lives and logic-defying abilities to the more modern toons. She finds out she’s absolutely committing war crimes on sentient people, and then blows up the research facility when she discovers that the “director” of the place is something that…was never supposed to exist the way it does in the place they are.

So her heart’s in the right place, but ultimately she puts her goal before the people she’s supposedly chasing it for. Is what her character arc seems to always boil down to. 

ROYALTY AU THOUGHTS I HAD BEFORE AND DURING MY EDUCATION ON THE LORE:

For royalty au I was thinking of something definitely with a plague doctor kind of vibe. I was going off of the assumption that you might not want to have her be related to any of your gang since she’s not a canon character (also I thought that NGyro was Gyro because I totally didn’t catch that you had multiples in there lksdnflsndf) so I had this kinda half-baked idea that she either grew up in a village that was wiped out by plague, or she was working to try and stop the spread of them (normal plagues, not magical). Dol decides that if they can’t stop disease, why not just figure out how to bring people back to life? So she starts experimenting with spells and potions and such on dead bodies, usually resulting in an undead situation or something worse. Maybe she’s found a way to siphon magic out of people and is mixing lots of magic together for more powerful (and unstable) spells/potions, if that’s possible. I thought it would be funny if either she was found by any of the cast either because there were reports of graveyards being dug up and they went out to investigate, or she’s been secretly experimenting in the dungeons somehow for who knows how long (assuming that people in the dungeon die there a lot, because then she has a great, close-by supply of research cadavers!) I would think that a magic plague, even if it was over when she showed up, would have her working more out in the open to a point where she’d draw attention to herself.

I see her as either being disillusioned with healing as a practice, or she needs to be reminded of how big of an impact healing has on someone(s), even if it can’t fix everything. Either she’d only have witch magic, or she would have both but primarily focus her attention on using witch magic to tamper with potion ingredients and such. I don’t wanna make her too overpowered or anything!

Also yes, I would love for her and Mads to be friends, especially if he’s still as sassy as he is in your main aus kdsnfklndsf. 

If she's not an agent then she'd at the very least be some kinf od person of interest. I can imagine that St. Canard would see potential in having a witch on their side that seems pretty blase about what you can and can't do with magic and flesh. For Duckburg...maybe they'd just try to keep her busy (they could never keep her busy in a way that is not concerning skdfldnflksnf)

Those are all of my thoughts and things and odds and ends, let me know if any of these sound good, and if not I hope it was at least a fun read!

[jibbi]

Matt Walsh Wrongly Calls Out Someone Who's Ace

So, ever since last month, I've been a bit heated about Matt Walsh making a video on (or close to) Valentine's Day putting down an asexual girl briefly speaking in an article about what she enjoys doing on Valentine's Day for herself. Listen, I'm heated about most things this man says and how hateful he is, especially towards anyone - mainly us trans folks - in the LGBT+ community. But the fact that he constantly says how we sexualize so many other people and things yet completely contradicts his usual narrative by insulting someone who isn't even interested in sex just really struck an extra nerve.

I was happy to see The Queer Kiwi and Annamarie Forcino recently call him out on this video, but I wanted to bring some more attention to it, speaking from my own experience as an aro-ace person and what I've learned. I feel like there's hardly ever enough light shined on aro-ace folks, but we certainly didn't deserve a negative light shined on us by Matt Walsh, one of the most massive bigots out there.

Touching on Demi Romantics/Sexuals

So Matt had read direct definitions about being asexual and aromantic, and one of the sub-labels that was defined within that definition was demisexuality and demiromanticism. Of course Matt had to make a comment about this, saying how making a friend and falling in love with them is a normal person's emotions and experience.

However, I will say I do understand where that misguidance comes from, considering it's what I originally thought too when trying to gain an understanding of demisexuality (even Annamarie expressed this misunderstanding in her video, too). So let me just give a breakdown on why this is a common notion amongst people who don't fully understand demisexuality/demiromanticism:

It's a very common plot in fictional romance for two people who are already friends (or who develop a friendship) to fall in love with each other. And naturally, when people think of a common romance story, they think of that plot and/or maybe it's something they themselves have experienced or want to experience. So, they think just about everyone else also feels that way or has had that same/similar experience. But, the truth of the matter is, that's not necessarily what everyone wants and/or has and most importantly, it's not something allo folks need to build a relationship.

Lemme explain. For allo people, it can be a want but it's not a needed thing in order for them to simply develop any sort of romantic and/or sexual attraction to someone. That's the biggest thing. Demisexual and demiromantic people absolutely need that deep platonic connection with someone in order to develop that desire for a romantic relationship or sex life with them.

A lot of allo people are able to look at someone or know someone for a very short span of time, and desire that sexual and/or romantic relationship with them, feel that attraction to them without knowing them well. That isn't something that happens for demi rom/sexual people.

Asexual people aren't miserable & narcissistic

Matt talks about how ace people live sad, pathetic lives just because they're don't want sex and, are making up a label just to mask their low libido or want for sex but not getting it and to feel good about themselves since they're narcissists.

Man, that is one of the stupidest things I think I've ever heard. Asexuals don't necessarily need to experience sex to be happy, hence why they're asexuals. Also, that is exactly what Odel Pax is trying to get across in the article - she's asexual but that doesn't wreck her Valentine's Day.

Also, I feel like the word "narcissist" gets tossed around so much without fully understanding how serious of a term it is and what actual signs of being a narcissist are. For instance, a very big sign of a narcissist is having a strong disregard for other's emotions and having no problem manipulating their emotion's for their own personal gain. That's not what LGBT+ people do. They're just trying to live their lives and shine a spotlight on their identity to bring awareness about what they experience in hopes of helping and educating others.

Matt often tries to say that people in the LGBT+ community are narcissists because they're "entitled" and all they want is attention yet can't take harsh feedback, when that's not the case at all considering so many bigots - like him - say such foul things about them and make them more oppressed. Like, why would anyone want that? Why would anyone fake being queer for attention when half of it is extremely negative attention that includes threats? Yet here he is saying they're the least oppressed people to walk this earth.

Also, sexual attraction and libido are not the same thing. Libido is someone's sex drive; that natural bodily sense of needing that pleasure that sex gives. Sexual attraction mainly refers to that want for sex, especially with another person. For instance, in my own experience, sometimes I do have that bit of a sex drive because it's something my body naturally sees as a need but do I often feel a sexual attraction? No, not really. Having actual sex with someone isn't something I enjoy much at all, and I often don't feel sexually attracted to others. But, seeing as how this is something I can't control - I've just always been this way - I'm asexual. It's not a chosen thing or something I see as made up when it's an actual emotion I feel and have no control over.

I think a decent analogy for what I said is when you need a drink after a run you just went on. Your body needs the fluid but someone only has a drink for you that you don't like. However, it's all you have and it's still a drink. So you still drink it even though you don't really like the taste. That's what it's like when your libido increases but you're on the ace-spec. (Also, just to clarify, just because someone's libido has risen doesn't mean they necessarily want to or feel comfortable satisfying that need/craving).

Romantic Attraction & Sexual Attraction are different

I feel like this isn't hard to understand. Matt says these two are "synonymous" but they aren't. There's a reason why I've been separating the words aromantic and asexual throughout this breakdown of his video - because they're different. You aren't romantically attracted to every person you're sexually attracted to, and vice versa. This applies to people who aren't even on the a-spec. Annamarie explains this is her video, too. I too do not get how Matt doesn't understand this concept.

He also states that when you tell someone you want to date them but don't want sex with them you have given them no useful information. Like what. That's directly explaining that you are romantically attracted to this person but not sexually attracted. Not all relationships involve sex nor need to. You don't have to have sex with someone to love them or vice versa.

Conclusion

Matt Walsh as usual calls someone out who he doesn't understand and doesn't make the effort to understand. He wrongly stated things about an asexual person and said they're not asexual - those aren't facts, that's just him making things up and spewing his own opinion.

Matt doesn't care about the LGBT+ community and he'll keep stating all these wrong, made up things about us. He's not smart, he's hateful, so don't let him tell you who you are.

I'm always glad to advocate for my community. I wanted to call him out and properly explain things on the a-spec. I'd love to do posts about his terrible opinions on trans people and other gay people, but that would take a very long time seeing as how he targets them even more than the aro-ace community within the LGBT+ community.

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

I'm scared of being alone because I'm aroace. Like no matter how close I am with a friend, they're always gonna pick their significant other over me.

Close friends who value you and the relationship you have, and won't discard you for romantic relationships do exist, Anon. Even among allo people. And if that's important to you, you can find those people.

You're not wrong that there are people out there who do see friendship as lesser/unimportant, etc. And sometimes you don't know which friends are which until shit hits the fan, but if you do find with a friend or in a group of friends that are more together to have someone to hang out with, or to have fun together but aren't really more than that, if that's not what you want, don't be afraid to move on. Or keep them, but acknowledge them for what they are, but keep seeking out other friends if you want those deeper relationships.

Often too you know when you have those kinds of friends, because you will be talking about things that are important to you, and these kind of topics will come up, and you can see what their opinions are too. Often times deeper friendships take time to build up too, very few people meet and are immediately close. So it's entirely possible there's people you know now who do have the potential to be close friends, but you're just not at that stage yet.

The most important thing though is put yourself in positions to meet people (anywhere you can meet people over a shared interest can really help too) and make yourself available, you will find the kind of people you want.

All the best, and good luck, Anon!