#theraoist said that eas fight or flight response snd i guess she's rihht. i never put thst together before but i guess
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#delete later#bsdtimes#emotional flashback i think. i dont feel like me sbd im reskky scared and the impulse to run snd hide is getting overwhelming#theraoist said that eas fight or flight response snd i guess she's rihht. i never put thst together before but i guess#its literally flight#i feel small snd defenseless and stupid#and i know its combo of pain and meeting ppl yesterday that i want to be friebds with#now that ive been unpacking the entire thing around being afraid of ppl who im friends/close witg and unafraid kf strangers#the idea of makinh friebds has got really scary bc i know it means im gokna be more agraid. i know that not gaving ppl#that are close to me makes me feel safer. that ppl talked to me yesterday and saw me stimminh and being weord andstill#gave me their social medias at the ebd of the night and yhat they might want to be friebds is fuvking terrifyong and i dont know#what to do with the gear. so irs triggering someyhng over and over again and i canr get out of it and the pain keeps coming and#its just bery overwhelming#its also upsetting realosong that the readon i struggle to be friendly and medsage bsck etc etc is bc its eadier to stop#being froebds than keep tryinh to not be scared. i knew i self sabotaged a bit but i didnt know that eas a part of it#makes me sad
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