#thepostaldude

[22orpheus]

*baseball bat sfx*

YOU'RE LISTENING TO

*shotgun round*

960.24 FM POSTAL RADIO

*wanna sign my petition*

*male civilian screaming*

WHERE WE PLAY NOTHING BUT

*Map Muzak* *Gone Postal* AND *Temporomandibular Grind*

*female retching*

THIS AINT YOUR GRAND-BITCH'S STATION

*Radioactive by Imagine Dragons starts playing*

[axolotlbottle]

❝Like father, like son❞

Art done by my bestie @jester0jpeg !! We both made our own versions / lore of the postal dudes & postal series!!

Postal dude 1 with his son (little kid-postal dude 2! Who we call "the postal kid!").

We actually gave them names, too! (Sorry, they're not P names, but I could care less. Feel free to call them Postal dude and Postal kid if it bothers you that much).

PD1's name is Michael Toddhunter, and his son's (PD2) name is Aster Toddhunter (hehe get it? As in "disaster").

Preface: This takes place AFTER the first postal game. This is an AU of sorts, so just erase the ending of the game + a bunch of other things, and have Michael fuck off somewhere, nobody ever knowing his identity so he gets away with everything. That was a "TLDR" explanation of it. We could maybe explain this better on a different post in the future.

Anyways! Here's some lore we have about them:

Michael is the Command Sergeant Major for U.S army's RI Arsenal. Yes, he did serve in the army before going postal in the first game. Don't ask how he got up to that rank because god knows I don't know either.

He and Aster live in the Quad cities, Illinois, aka some fuck ass midwestern region of cities that only gets some attention from the John deere company that hogs the area. Fuck john deere.

Michael is a single dad. He somehow managed to win all custody over Aster. He doesn't talk about his ex-gf.

They live in a house that's next to a trailer park, so they're not exactly dirt fuckin' poor but they ain't buying branded food either. They're still trailer park trash without living directly in the trailer park though.

Michael has tried to give Aster some sense of normality (sorta) but Aster clearly is not cut out to be a normal child. He's very rowdy, violent, and bullies the neighborhood kids (if you get the reference, you're cool).

Michael calls Aster "My little wild thing" (reference to Aster's favorite book; where the wild things are).

When Aster was 5, for Christmas, Michael gifted him a black cat he bought for $10 at the pet store ( he didn't question it). Michael cruelly didn't think the cat would last long, but that cat might as well outlive him. Aster named the cat "Kostroma" and has shoved his dad's guns up it's ass and used it as a silencer to shoot at beer bottles in their backyard. Kostroma hasn't died (nor appears to be scarred or traumatized), no matter what Aster has put him through. He's like some weird immortal cat (who surprisedly loves Aster as much as Aster loves him). Michael and Aster don't question it.

Aster loves uncrustables. His addiction literaly is grape jelly uncrustables. He has to have one once a day or else he'll start wreaking havoc in the neighborhood.

Michael brings Aster to work sometimes (usually when Aster gets kicked out of school or is being too insufferable for the neighborhood). He can't help it, and it's not like anybody can give him shit for it.

That's all we'll share for now!! Hopefully we'll post more in the future!! Me and my bestie have been working on this since like late May, and we plan to continue to work on it >;). I'll leave ya'll with this doodle I did of Kostroma cat.

[axolotlbottle]

ASK BOX OPEN !!

For a small introduction post to "aster/the postal kid", click here!

RULES AND OTHER STUFF:

Postal Kid/Aster are from their controversial & offensive franchise (OBVIOUSLY) sticking to character, Aster will be unapologetically offensive and crude like his adult counterpart, maybe just a tad bit more childish & immature (like an annoying ass kid that just learned how to say "fuck"). Ask anything*, even if it's raunchy, I'm not going to water him down. *Just maybe don't ask certain things that'll put you on a registry.

PLEASE stick to only asking about him as a child. Yes, I do have a teenage version of him, and obviously an adult version too (just my ver of postal dude 2) but I don't want to focus on them, the adult one feels kind of convoluted to even introduce because we all already know PDude² as an adult LOLZ. So, like I said, please stick to only asking questions for child aster ^^.

I won't disallow it completely....but I'm not sure if I'll have Aster interact with others oc's. Nothing personal! It'd just feel too out of place. Hope you all understand!

I think that's all for now! Feel free to ask anonymously or not =) I don't mind either way! Thank you!

I contemplated this for a bit, and I decided... why not? Mind you, they'll probably be doodled responses!

Ediiittttt: I've gone out of state for a little bit! I'll try to reply to ya'lls questions late August / early September at best! ^^ thank you!