#theodora the air elemental

[is-the-battlemech-cool-or-not]

The assembled SLDF units stood at attention, each Cluster assembled in parade formation in front of their Overlord dropships. Elementals stood, fully armored, behind rows of infantry in combat-ready uniforms; their officers wore parade dress, but each one had a duffel bag next to their feet containing their combat gear. This had been an attempt to avert the old maxim that no combat-ready unit passed inspection, but no inspection-ready unit had passed combat. Melissa thought it looked slightly awkward; but what did not look awkward, and what stirred her heart with pride, was the formations of BattleMechs, polished, freshly painted, and shining in the mid-day sun. Her own Royal Black Watch, with their Turkina Keshik derived turquoise green and lime green paint jobs, interrupted by bands of Black Watch Tartan, and each Mech containing a beautifully painted silver rendition of the unit badge somewhere on their frame. The more humanoid 'Mechs sported 'Mech sized kilts, an idea of one of her Spheroid subordinates. At first, it had seemed an odd idea, but now, seeing them in person, they seemed just charming enough to pass muster.

The former Turkina and Werewolf Keshiks, personal units of the Khans of Clans Jade Falcon and Wolf, stood by as well, their 'Mechs painted in more standard SLDF green, the Cameron Star emblazoned proudly, with tactical recognition flashes of their old paint schemes showing their heritage. The ex-Turkina Keshik had been more amenable than Melissa had guessed at losing their paint scheme to the Black Watch - only three individual Trials of Grievance had resulted.

The First Lord had just finished a grand speech, declaring that the soldiers here - he actually used the word soldiers, thought Melissa amusedly - were the vanguard of the new Star League, and they would be setting out on a mission which would benefit the entire Inner Sphere. Not just the Clans, not just the Great Houses, but all people of the Sphere. And they would finishing an old grudge, healing an old wound, rooting out the last of a cancer that had infected the Sphere so long ago, and caused so many deaths.

It was a decent speech, thought Melissa. It was obviously ghostwritten by a Spheroid, of course - Alaric was nowhere near that eloquent - but it did have the desired effect.

Cheers and shouts of enthusiastic "Long live the Star League!" rang out from the assembled hundreds of thousands, both the soldiers on parade and the civilians watching them out past the gates of the Unity City aerospace base. People had come from all over Terra, from Luna, from Mars, Venus, even from the Belt to watch the spectacle.

Melissa, standing in her SLDF dress uniform beside the podium from where the First Lord had just departed, spoke into the air, her voice amplified by the hidden microphones around the stage.

"Operation TOUCHDOWN commences in two hours. Ready yourselves. The journey to will be longer than you expect, and shorter than you will wish. Dismissed!"

At the cheers and shouts, she dismounted the podium, as the base descended into semi-organized chaos around her. She stepped up to her two newest officers - Major Theodora Marten-Steiner, and Warrant Officer Karrie DeLacey.

"Quite the morning we have had, quiaff?"

@house-steiner-stays-winning @karriethemechtech

[rullakebu]

Island of Peludo (F/M, tickling, fur fetish)

The waves crashed against the dark hull as the tiny sloop ship rocked slightly from side to side, traversing the calm clear blue waters. ‘Midnight Horizon’ read at the rear. At the wheel Arthur, the new captain, corrected the course as he turned it gently. Taking in the sea air, he took a deep breath. It had been a long day of sailing the Caribbean, looking for easy targets to rob and plunder. The blonde haired man dressed in a black trench coat and a white flowing shirt had a clear heading in his mind.

Midnight Horizon was a small ship, a humble one for an ambitious pirate. After serving as a privateer for the Royal Navy and being given the boot, Arthur had sneaked into the harbor and captured the ship in the dark of the night. The ship was dark brown, almost black. Beige sails were hoisted in the masts, along with a menacing black flag. Decked with a few cannons the ship was equipped to defend itself against and attack smaller ships. Against a galleon, however, the ship was almost pathetic in size.

Arthur’s first mate Charles stood at the bow, watching for land. Arthur had recruited Charles after he had witnessed him win a bar fight. Charles fancied the pocket watch of another customer and took it by force. Deeming him as a capable man, Arthur had approached him. Together they had gathered a small crew loyal to the duo. Charles had long brown hair and wore a white shirt with a brown leather vest.

“Peludo, Peludo, Peludo…” Arthur murmured to himself with a breathy voice.

Peludo was a small island between Cuba and Jamaica, approximately the size of Barbados. Initially a Spanish colony, it had recently declared its independence from Spain. It had become a hub for trade. Everyone was welcome on the island. Spain had let the island go, not deeming it worth it to retake. It was a mistake, however, since after gaining independence, the inhabitants of Peludo discovered extensive deposits of gold, silver, and rare gemstones in the island's mountains and riverbeds. The island was led by one Theodora De La Cruz. A former Spanish noble, her father had spearheaded the independence movement and after his death Theodora had taken the reins.

“We’ll be rich soon, lads!” Charles yelled from the bow, promising great wealth and affluence for the crew.

Since gaining independence, Peludo had become a hub for trade and commerce open for everyone. Merely seeing this as an opportunity, Arthur and Charles had conjured up the idea of robbing Theodora and her prosperous town.

Arthur, the more cautious and strategic of the two, turned to Charles. "We need to be smart about this. Theodora De La Cruz isn't just any leader. She's cunning and well-guarded."

Charles nodded, his usual bravado tempered by Arthur's words. "Aye, but we've got the element of surprise on our side. No one would expect us to strike at the heart of Peludo."

“That be true, Charles,” Arthur responded, taking a quick drag from his pipe and blowing dark smoke into the air, the wind blowing it away.

“Land, ho!” Charles yelled, his eyes gleaming with anticipation as he pointed towards the distant silhouette of Peludo emerging on the horizon.

Arthur squinted at the island, his mind racing with the details of their plan. “Remember, we dock as traders. Keep your weapons hidden and your wits sharp.”

Arthur quickly sent the crew to lower the black flag. As they approached the bustling port, they marveled at the diversity of ships anchored there—traders from all corners of the world, lured by the island’s riches. The market was a vibrant tapestry of cultures, with merchants selling everything from spices to silks, and, of course, the precious metals and gems that had made Peludo so prosperous.

Arthur and Charles disembarked, blending seamlessly into the throng of people. They made their way through the crowded streets, their eyes constantly scanning for any sign of Theodora. The island's prosperity was evident in the well-maintained buildings and the general air of affluence.

Arthur and his crew traversed through the bustling markets and streets, hearing all kinds of dialects and tongues: Spanish, English, Creole, and others. The colorful stalls were filled with exotic goods, and the air was thick with the scents of spices and fresh fruit. Laughter and haggling voices added to the lively atmosphere.

“See all this? Think of how rich we’ll be tomorrow,” Charles whispered, cackling evilly to himself as he eyed the bustling market filled with valuable goods.

“Patience, Charles. We’ll be drowning in gold yet, but we must keep our wits about us and be smart,” Arthur responded, his voice steady and calm. He took a quick drag from his pipe, blowing a thin stream of smoke into the air that quickly dispersed in the warm breeze.

Quickly, the crew found themselves in front of the town hall just on the edge of the market, the two-story Spanish colonial style building looming over the vendors’ shacks. The whitewashed walls and red-tiled roof stood in stark contrast to the vibrant, makeshift stalls surrounding it. The building's grandiose presence was a testament to the island’s rich history and current prosperity.

They saw a chariot being pulled by two massive white horses. The chariot's wooden wheels were accented by golden rims. The chariot itself was light blue and the doors were decorated with intricate carvings of sea waves and dolphins, giving it a regal yet nautical appearance. The golden trim glinted in the sunlight, casting dazzling reflections on the cobblestone streets.

Arthur and Charles exchanged a quick glance, recognizing the chariot as Theodora's personal transport. They moved closer, mingling with the crowd to get a better view.

The chariot came to a stop in front of the town hall, and Theodora herself emerged, her presence commanding immediate attention. She wore a dress of light blue, adorned with silver embroidery that caught the light with every step. Her dark brown hair curled down to her shoulders, framing her face elegantly. Ornate silver earrings dangled from her ears, catching the sunlight. Her hat was decorated with an array of blue feathers, their soft tendrils flowing in the wind. Draped over her shoulders was a massive baby blue fox fur stole, its luxurious tails hanging and swaying from each end.

Arthur and Charles watched from a distance, taking in every detail. Theodora's regal appearance and confident demeanor only reinforced her formidable reputation. As she moved through the crowd, she greeted the vendors with a graceful nod, her presence exuding authority and charm.

“She’s quite the figure,” Charles whispered, his eyes following the swaying tails of the stole. “But we need to focus on the plan.”

Arthur nodded, his eyes narrowing as he kept his gaze on Theodora. “Aye. We need to gather as much information as we can.”

They trailed her discreetly through the bustling market, blending in with the crowds of people. Theodora stopped at various stalls, speaking with the merchants and examining their goods. Her interest in the market was clear, but Arthur and Charles were more interested in the snippets of conversation they overheard.

“She’ll be gone tonight,” one of the vendors whispered to another as they passed. “Off to a meeting with the trade delegates. Her manor will be empty.”

Arthur's ears perked up at this. He nudged Charles, who grinned in response. This was the opportunity they had been waiting for.

“We’ll sneak into her manor after sundown.” Arthur declared, the plan slowly unfolding in his head. “We’ll send the others to rob the stalls and warehouses. You and I will take her house together.”

“Sounds like a plan, mate,” Charles giggled, rubbing his hands together in greed.

As the sun began to set, the duo made their way back to the Sea Serpent to prepare their crew for the night's endeavor. They reviewed their plan, ensuring every man knew his role. The ship bustled with activity as the crew readied themselves, each member knowing the importance of their task. The docks would serve as the primary distraction, while Arthur and Charles would strike at the heart of Theodora's wealth.

As night fell, Charles and his men moved through the darkened streets like shadows. They carefully picked locks and moved silently, taking only the most valuable items and avoiding detection. The market, bustling by day, was eerily quiet, and their work went unnoticed by the few guards and townsfolk still around.

Meanwhile, Arthur and Charles approached Theodora’s manor. The guards had thinned out, most of them stationed near the entrance or patrolling the grounds. Arthur led Charles to a side entrance they had scouted earlier, a small door partially hidden by ivy.

Behind the manor, they found a small shack nestled amidst the overgrown foliage. Inside, a ladder leaned against the wall, its wooden rungs weathered by time and neglect. Arthur and Charles exchanged a knowing glance, recognizing the ladder as a potential means of entry into Theodora's private quarters.

With practiced stealth, they lifted the ladder and carried it to the side of the manor. Arthur positioned it beneath a second-story window, ensuring it was stable and secure. Charles climbed up first, his movements agile yet gentle, making sure not to make too much noise.

Once Charles reached the window, he motioned for Arthur to follow. With a silent nod, Arthur ascended the ladder, his heart pounding with anticipation. He joined Charles on the narrow ledge outside the window, their breaths shallow as they prepared to breach Theodora's inner sanctum.

With a deft hand, Charles tested the window latch, finding it unlocked. He eased the window open, the hinges barely creaking in protest. Arthur followed suit, slipping through the narrow opening and into the dimly lit room beyond.

Inside, they found themselves in a lavish bedroom, its furnishings elegant and refined. A four-poster bed dominated the space, draped with sumptuous fabrics and adorned with intricate carvings. Ornate dressers and cabinets lined the walls, their surfaces gleaming with polished wood and gilded accents.

With a sense of urgency, Arthur commanded, "Start checking the drawers."

Charles nodded, his hands moving swiftly as he began to search through the drawers of the ornate dressers. He rifled through them methodically, his fingers skimming over fine jewelry and objects in search of treasures.

As Arthur opened the doors to the cabinets, revealing the extensive collection of fur clothing, his eyes widened in disbelief. Full-length coats, hats, and stoles of different colors and sizes adorned the shelves, each piece more luxurious than the last. The soft, velvety fur shimmered in the dim light of the bedroom, casting a spell of opulence over the room.

"Sink me," Arthur whispered, his voice barely audible over the rustle of fur. He reached out, running his fingers over the plush material, marveling at its exquisite quality.

Charles, drawn by Arthur's excitement, hurried over to join him. Together, they sifted through the garments, their hands trembling with anticipation. Each piece seemed more valuable than the last, a testament to Theodora's wealth and status.

“Think how much we can sell these for,” Charles whispered, his eyes open in excitement.

"Filthy rich, we'll be," Arthur responded, his fingers caressing the sleeve of a coat, its soft fur yielding under his touch. He couldn't help but marvel at the luxuriousness of the garment, the sensation of the fur tickling his skin ever so slightly.

"Let's start packing them!" Arthur declared, pulling out two bags with a sense of urgency. He wasted no time in stuffing the fur garments into the sacks, his movements swift and determined.

Charles eagerly followed suit, his own bag quickly filling with the precious loot. The weight of their newfound riches hung heavy in the air, fueling their excitement and driving them forward.

"Did you see anything else?" Arthur asked, his gaze sweeping the room as he prepared to make their exit. The bags were filled to the brim with the elegant and opulent furs, their weight a tangible reminder of the riches they had acquired. There were some left on the floor, not fitting into their bags anymore.

“I found some jewelry in the drawer. I already stuffed me pockets,” Charles answered, stuffing his hand into his left pocket and pulling out a ruby necklace. He dangled it for a bit and then put it back.

Creak.

The duo heard a door open in the hallway beyond the crime scene. They looked at each other in shock.

“Theodora,” Charles whispered, his eyes open with terror.

"Aye," Arthur responded, his mind racing as he searched for a way out of their predicament. "Throw the booty out of the window, and then we'll climb down!"

"Good idea!" Charles agreed, his hands trembling as he hastily threw the bags out the window. They plummeted through the air, landing in a heap on the ground below. “I’ll go first!”

“Alright, but make it quick!” Arthur responded, shooing Charles with his hands and looking over at the bedroom door.

Step.

Step.

Step.

As Charles descended the ladder, Arthur kept a nervous watch on the bedroom door, his heart pounding with fear. Theodora's footsteps grew closer, each one sending a chill down his spine. They were running out of time.

Just as Arthur was about to make his escape, Charles suddenly pulled the ladder away, throwing it to the side with a clatter. Arthur's eyes widened in shock as he realized what his companion had done.

"What are you doing?" Arthur hissed, panic rising in his chest.

“I’m sorry, Arthur, but it’s time I be captain. The Midnight Horizon belongs to me now. Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of it,” Charles said, winking his eye at Arthur. The betrayal, the treachery.

"Mutiny! Traitor! Judas!" Arthur's voice echoed through the room, filled with rage and despair as he watched Charles grab the heavy fur-filled bags and flee into the darkness, leaving Arthur to face Theodora alone.

As Theodora and her guards closed in, Arthur knew that his fate was sealed. He had been outsmarted and outmaneuvered by his own companion, his dreams of wealth and glory shattered by Charles's treachery.

Bang!

As the bedroom door swung open with a resounding bang, Arthur found himself face to face with two of Theodora's guards, their swords gleaming in the dim light of the room. His heart pounded with adrenaline as he braced himself for the confrontation that awaited him.

With swift, practiced movements, the guards advanced into the room, their eyes fixed on Arthur with steely determination. There was no mercy in their gaze, only the cold, unyielding resolve of those sworn to uphold Theodora's will.

Arthur raised his hands, completely out of options. Surrendering was his only chance at making it out of this predicament. “I surrender!” Arthur sighed, looking down and a single tear falling from his eye.

He lifted his gaze and saw Theodora gracefully walking into the room, her baby blue fur stole swaying with each step. She scanned the room, glancing at the open cabinets and drawers. She saw the leftover furs scattered on the floor. Walking over to them, Theodora knelt down and lifted up a silver fox jacket. Theodora looked at it and dropped it to the floor once more. Rising up, she looked over at Arthur, whose heart was ready to beat out of his chest.

"¿Quién eres, hm? Who are you?" Theodora's voice was calm yet commanding, her words cutting through the tense silence like a knife.

Arthur swallowed hard, summoning every ounce of courage he possessed as he met her gaze head-on. "My name is Arthur," he replied, his voice steady despite the fear that gnawed at his insides. "I'm just a humble sailor, caught up in circumstances beyond my control."

He watched as Theodora's expression softened ever so slightly, a hint of curiosity flickering in her eyes. But beneath her facade of composure, Arthur could sense the calculating mind of a ruler who saw through his facade and sought to uncover the truth lurking beneath.

"I... I can explain," Arthur stammered, his mind racing as he searched for words to defend himself. But try as he might, he knew that there was little he could say to absolve himself of the crimes he had committed.

Theodora regarded him with a cool detachment, her eyes narrowing as she assessed his every word and gesture. She was a woman accustomed to power and authority, unyielding in her resolve to maintain control over her domain.

"You may have intended to rob me," she continued, her voice soft yet commanding, "but you have failed. And for that, you will pay the price." She lifted her right hand, placing it on the shoulder of a guard gracefully and squinting her eyes and smirking to herself. “Llévalo al calabozo de las cosquillas.”

Not understanding Spanish, Arthur's heart raced as he was led away by the guards, confusion clouding his mind as he tried to make sense of Theodora's cryptic command. He couldn't understand the words she had spoken, but the look of satisfaction on her face sent a chill down his spine.

They reached their destination: a dimly lit chamber with stone walls and a single barred window. The guards shoved Arthur inside. Falling on his knees, he was lifted up and undressed. The guards peeled away his coat, shirt, slacks and boots, leaving him naked. They lifted his arms and attached them to shackles that hung from the ceiling. In the middle of the room was a padded metallic stool with stocks attached to it. One of the guards took Arthur by the legs and lifted them on it, securing his feet into the stocks.

Arthur was on his knees on the stool, with his wrists shackled to the ceiling and ankles restricted by the stocks. He tried swinging but the stool was too heavy. He wasn’t going anywhere. Arthur heard heels clicking and closing in on the cell. He saw Theodora making her way down the dungeon corridor, dragging behind her one of the bags that was dropped.

She stepped into the room, placing the bag just next to Arthur. "So, you thought it was a good idea to rob me, hm?" Theodora's voice was soft yet cutting, her words laced with an undercurrent of menace. Arthur could feel her eyes boring into him, piercing through his defenses with their intensity.

"I-I-I'm sorry," he stuttered, his gaze fixed on the cold stone floor beneath him. He could feel Theodora's eyes on him, their gaze like daggers piercing through his defenses.

Arthur shivered as Theodora's fingers trailed across his chest, her touch both gentle and menacing. Her presence was overwhelming, and the cold air of the dungeon seemed to thicken with tension. "I'm sorry but that will not cut it," she said, her voice a blend of sweetness and threat. She continued to circle him, her hand never losing contact with his skin, sending shivers down his spine.

After finishing the round, Theodora stood before Arthur, taking in the sight of him bound and helpless. She took a hold of a single tail of her stole, brushing the soft fur under his chin. “Do you know what this place is, hm?” She trailed the stole under his chin from ear to ear. The fur teased his skin, sending tingles down his neck.

“N-n-no, madam,” Arthur admitted.

Theodora's smile widened at his response. She released the stole and moved behind him, her hands gently stroking his sides. Arthur could feel her breath on his neck, the proximity of her presence both comforting and terrifying.

“This is my tickle dungeon,” she whispered, her fingers starting to skitter along his sides.

“The Wha-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Arthur laughed, feeling Theodora’s tickling fingers on his bare sides.The light, rapid flicking of her nails was intense, and Arthur's body jerked involuntarily as he tried to escape the ticklish onslaught.

“That’s right,” Theodora continued, her voice smooth and sultry. “I bring people here to punish the poor criminals of my island. To torture them with teasy, tantalizing, torturous tickling. We do not have a prison but this space under my manor instead, designed to make offenders like you howl with laughter and beg for release.”

Arthur twisted in his binds, laughing and cackling to no end. Theodora’s wiggling fingers descended, targeting his sensitive waist line. “You have no idea how many people I’ve brought here to tickle and torment,” Theodora teased, her voice dripping with a mixture of amusement and menace.

Arthur’s laughter became more frantic as Theodora’s fingers explored his waistline. Each tickling stroke of her fingers sent electric jolts of sensitive torment up his nerves. Theodora had not tickled him for long, yet had him howling like he had been tortured for hours.

“I’ve had pirates, thieves, and all manner of scoundrels in these very stocks,” Theodora continued, her fingers never ceasing their relentless assault. “Some thought they could outsmart me, others thought they could overpower me. But in the end, they all learned the same lesson,” she teased in his ear. “Cross my trust and you get tickle, tickle, tickled.”

“HAHAHAHAHA! LET ME GO! HAHAHAHAHAHA!” He commanded but his pleas fell on deaf ears as Theodora continued abusing his sensitive waist, causing Arthur to twist and turn, but unable to evade the ticklish onslaught.

“I am afraid I am unable to fulfill your request, my ticklish pirate,” Theodora clapped back, her fingers never slowing. “You see, this is your punishment. You wanted to steal from me, and now you must pay the price in laughter.”

Arthur’s cheeks turned, realizing the severity of his ticklish predicament. He wasn’t going to be let go soon. He was Theodora’s to tickle and torture as long as she would like. Nothing would stop her from tickling him to death as punishment.

Theodora’s fiendish fingers traversed upwards, easing up on his waist. They traveled back up his sides, eliciting loud laughter out of Arthur. Taking a pause, Theodora concentrated her tickling at his sides for a moment, driving him wild with desperate ticklish howls, before traveling upwards towards his wide open armpits.

Theodora moved back in front of him, her fingers teasing his armpits. She stepped closer, their bodies nearly touching, the soft fur of her stole brushing against his chest, adding a layer of pleasant sensations to Arthur's already overwhelmed senses.

"You see," she whispered, her breath warm against his ear, "this is what happens to those who try to take what is mine." Her fingers began to explore his armpits with renewed vigor, her nails lightly scratching the sensitive skin. “What is your name, hm?”

“AHAHAHAHAHARTHUHUHUHUHUR!” He answered, his cackling making it hard to form coherent words.

“Arthur?” Theodora repeated, her voice gentle, smooth and sultry. “Such a strong name, such a strong figure yet so sensitive and ticklish,” she teased, biting her lip and sighing gently. “Tan cosquilloso…”

Arthur’s laughter echoed off the tickle chamber’s walls, the sounds of desperation amplifying with each bounce. His laughter and pleas were like music to Theodora's ears, a symphony of his suffering that she conducted with expert precision.

"Yes, that's it," she purred, her fingers never ceasing their relentless dance over his sensitive skin, now focusing on his helpless ribs. "Let it out, Arthur. Let all that resistance melt away. Laugh for me. It tickles. Hace cosquillas, sí. Coochie coochie coo."

Her nails trailed down his ribs, electric jolts of ticklish agony coursing through his body. Arthur's muscles twitched and spasmed involuntarily, his mind a whirlwind of hysteria and exhaustion. Each touch was both a torment and a strange, humiliating pleasure that he couldn't escape.

The fur of her stole continued to brush against his chest and stomach with every turn, the softness a stark contrast to the relentless tickling that had left Arthur's skin tingling and hypersensitive. Even in his state, the sensation was surprisingly intense yet pleasant, a reminder of Theodora's power over him.

Theodora took notice of the stole caressing his chest. She slowly ceased her tickling, stepping back for a moment. As Arthur's laughter subsided, he became acutely aware of the soft fur against his skin, a welcome respite from the overwhelming sensations he had just endured.

"Enjoying the sensation, are we, Arthur?" Theodora's voice was playful, her eyes sparkling with amusement. She reached out and ran her fingers lightly over the fur, tracing the intricate patterns with delicate precision.

"Yes," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "It feels... nice."

Theodora looked over at the bag she had brought with her to the dungeon. “I see you were trying to rob me of my furs, Arthur. You and your friend…”

Arthur grinded his teeth at the mention of Charles, the treacherous scallywag. “Charles… the bastard… How did you get that bag?”

"I see the mention of your friend angers you, Arthur," Theodora remarked, her tone calm yet tinged with a hint of amusement. "We caught your friend at the gate. He couldn't get very far. We also captured your crew. They're here, in the dungeon, and a bit... preoccupied. My maids are... taking care of them."

Arthur's heart sank at the news of his crew's capture, his mind racing with worry for their safety. He knew that Theodora's maids were not to be underestimated – they were skilled in the art of tickle torture, just like their mistress, and Arthur feared what fate awaited his comrades in the dungeon.

"Now, the furs. What were you planning to do? Sell them?" Theodora's voice was calm, but there was a steely edge to it. He knew that she was not to be trifled with, especially when it came to her prized possessions.

"Yes," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "We were planning to sell them. We thought... we thought it would be an easy way to make some money."

"Mm, do you know why I have so many furs, Arthur?" Theodora queried, her voice tinged with a hint of mischief. "It's because they're symbols of indulgence, of lust, of decadence."

Arthur listened intently, curious about Theodora's motivations for collecting such opulent garments. He had always admired the luxuriousness of fur coats and stoles, but he had never considered the deeper meaning behind them.

"They're also symbols of power," Theodora continued, her eyes gleaming with intensity. "A woman in fur commands attention, demands respect. And I must confess," she added, her tone growing more husky, "I have a bit of a fetish for them myself. There's something about the way they feel against my skin, so soft, so luxurious."

Arthur swallowed hard, feeling a flush creeping up his neck at Theodora's suggestive words. He had never imagined that she might have a fetish for furs, but now, as he watched her caress the soft fabric with evident pleasure, he couldn't deny the undeniable allure of her confession.

Theodora reached into the bag and lifted out a long, brown, finn raccoon stole. She stepped closer to Arthur and brushed the stole against his inner thighs, tickling under his chin with her other hands. “Wouldn’t you agree?”

Theodora brushed the soft fur against his thighs, shivers of pleasure spreading all over his lower body. He couldn't help but gasp at the sensation, his body responding instinctively to her touch. The fur brushed him ever so gently, causing his member to twitch a little in pleasure.

"Aye," he managed to stammer, his voice barely above a whisper. "I agree."

Theodora smiled, a knowing glint in her eyes. "Bueno," she purred, her voice low and husky. "Because I intend to share with you how pleasurable, how intoxicating fur can be.” With that, she wrapped the finn raccoon stole around Arthur's shoulders, the soft fur enveloping him in its warmth. His skin tingled with pleasure as Theodora's hands stroked the stole, causing the fur to brush against him as well. She leaned in close to his ear again. “To show you what you were so ready to take away from me.”

She struck her fingers on his stomach, suddenly resuming her ticklish torment. Arthur was caught by surprise as he began to giggle once more. Theodora's touch was like lightning, directing bolts of pleasure racing through Arthur's body as her fingers danced over his skin. He couldn't help but laugh, the sensation both torturous and exhilarating at the same time.

"Yes, I'm not done with you just yet, Arthur. You haven’t been tickled and teased enough. I plan on driving you insane with tickles and arousal. I will tickle you and pleasure you with fur until you go mad," Theodora whispered, her voice dripping with mischief. She continued her ticklish skitters, her fingers carving short sensitive paths of tickle on his stomach.

Arthur’s laughter filled the dimly lit dungeon as Theodora's fingers tickled and teased him without mercy. Each stroke sent waves of pleasure coursing through him, leaving him breathless and wanting more.

“But don’t worry, Charles and the rest will receive just as thorough a tickling as you,” she consoled, her teasing words not helping his case. “But not so much pleasure on their part,” Theodora said, taking a hold of her stole and brushing it along Arthur’s twitching sex for a moment.

Arthur’s laughter mixed with slight moans as the soft stole caressed his exposed manhood, the pleasant brushing bringing about a growth spurt in his erection. Noticing his excitement, Theodora giggled and lifted her hat off her head. Forming a claw with her fingers, she stuck her fingers into the blue sea of ostrich feathers on her hat. She plucked a bouquet of long, soft feathers from her hat, her eyes twinkling with erotic mischief. Theodora brought the feathers closer to Arthur's exposed manhood, wiggling the feathers with each moment as they inched closer and closer slowly, teasing him with their wriggling tendrils.

Arthur bit his lip as he felt the feathers brushing against his groin, producing waves of ticklish feathery pleasure coursing through him. His erection throbbed with anticipation, straining against its confines as Theodora continued to tease him with her feathered touches. With her other hand she carried on with tickling his upper body, contributing to the overwhelming sensation of pleasure. Arthur tried to stifle his moans of tickly delight, his arousal growing with each passing moment.

The fur stole hanging from his shoulders added to Arthur's pleasure, the soft hairs brushing against his skin as the stole swayed with his twitches and ticklish squirming. Each movement sent ripples of sensation through him, intensifying the pleasure of Theodora's touches and the feathers teasing his most sensitive areas.

Theodora giggled playfully as she leaned in close to his ear, her warm breath tickling his skin. "Tickle, tickle, tickle…" she whispered, her voice sultry and filled with erotic charge, as she blew gently into his ear.

She let up with the tickling on his upper body as she gave a fast ticklish flurry with her feathers, like a tickle hurricane, before pulling them away. The feathering had left his cock twitching and begging for attention. Theodora stroked it slightly with one pump before circling back behind him. She kneeled down by his feet as Arthur panicked, trying to see behind him.

Suddenly Arthur felt Theodora’s scribbling fingers on his bare feet. Squealing with laughter, he tried to pull forward, wishing to free his feet from the stocks. His feet were incredibly ticklish, and each touch conveyed waves of ticklish pleasure racing through him, driving him to the brink of madness.

But no matter how hard he struggled, Arthur was unable to escape Theodora's relentless tickling, his laughter filling the dungeon once more as she released a newfound flurry of tickle torture on his sensitive soles. With each scribble, Arthur's laughter grew louder, his body writhing as Theodora expertly exploited his most sensitive spots.

“Qué cosquillas tienes en los pies, Arthur,” she teased, knowing he did not understand Spanish. She knew, however, that he would understand the gist of what she had said. There was no language barrier in tickle talk. It would fluster him either way, reminding him of his ticklish trouble.

Her fingers explored his feet thoroughly. She tickled and teased across his arches, forwarding ticklish pleasure through him. She traced circles around his toes, eliciting squeals of laughter as she expertly exploited his most sensitive spots. She knew exactly how to make him squirm and giggle, her touch driving him to the brink of madness with its tantalizing intensity, knowing that she could reduce him to a helpless, giggling mess with just the touch of her fingers.

Theodora lifted her left hand from Arthur's foot, reaching for the feathers once more. Grasping a handful of soft, downy plumes, she held them aloft, a wicked grin playing on her lips as she prepared to resume her ticklish assault. She reached to tickle him behind his knees and the back of his thighs with the feathers. Surprisingly feather sensitive, Arthur jumped at the intense tingling sensations behind his legs. Theodora traced the feathers up, down and around the backs of his legs as she continued to ravage his feet with her tickling fingers.

“Does it tickle, hm? Do you like the feathers, Arthur? Are they ticklish on your legs? Is the tingling sensation you feel intense? Does it feel good, hm? Do you like being tickled, Arthur?” Theodora asked, her tone teasing yet tinged with a hint of seduction.

Arthur could only respond with laughter, his breath coming in short gasps as Theodora's feathers danced over his skin. Each stroke drove pleasure of tickling coursing through him, his body alive with sensation. His cock twitched from the erotic attention he was getting, dripping droplets of precum onto the stone floor of the tickle dungeon.

Seeing the droplets hitting the floor from under the stool, Theodora giggled. "I think you really like being tickled, Arthur," she teased, her voice dripping with tease and seduction. She continued to stroke him with the feathers as she separated them into two bundles.

Theodora rose up from his feet, feathering his legs and back as she stood up. She wiggled her feathers on Arthur’s sides as she made her way back in front of him, her movements graceful and seductive. With each stroke, she drove him to new heights of ecstasy, his senses overwhelmed by the sheer intensity of the experience.

Theodora looked down at his cock, seeing it throb in need of her touch, a knowing smile playing on her lips as she observed his desperate need for release. With a slow and deliberate movement, she reached out her hand, her fingers trailing lightly over his straining length. “I think I’ll tickle you for a little bit longer. What do you think, Arthur?” Theodora's voice was a seductive whisper.

He squirmed and writhed in his restraints, his body aching for release as Theodora continued to torment him with her playful teasing. “Please,” he begged, his voice shaky from the non-stop laughter. “I can’t take more tickling. Just let me cum…”

“Aww, tan necesitado…” she teased, making a duck face with her lips. “Just a bit more tickling…”

With that she coupled the feathers again into one cluster. Almost looking like a feather sword, it was long and menacing, its soft feathers promising intense, arousing soft tickling for whoever was on the receiving end.

She stared at him, directly into his eyes, as she started to kneel slowly with the tickle sword in hand. Arthur's heart pounded in his chest, his body tingling with anticipation of what was to come. He squirmed in his restraints, his skin already sensitized from her earlier treatments, the thought of her feathered touch scaring him a little bit.

With a flick of her wrist, she brought it down upon Arthur's exposed manhood, the soft feathers teasing and tantalizing him with their ticklish caresses. Arthur could only gasp and moan in response, his body writhing and tingling as Theodora's feathered touch drove him to new heights of ecstasy. He lost himself in the sensation, surrendering completely to the pleasure of her ticklish torment as he verbally announced his arousal to Theodora.

“Kitchy kitchy, Arthur… Surrender to the tickle… Relajate… It tickles… It feels so good… It excites you, Arthur… It tickles…” she teased, getting into his head with her maddening tickle talk.

“It tickles… It tickles… It tickles… It tickles…” That phrase echoed in Arthur’s mind, repeating over and over and reminding him of his ticklish predicament. His whole body was on fire. Every nerve, every vein tingled with ticklish pleasure and arousal. He was so close. He was so damn close. He would give everything he had plundered over the years to Theodora just to climax. He would’ve given the Midnight Horizon to her. He would give anything. “It tickled… It tickled… It tickled…” He was going insane.

As Theodora lifted her tickling feathers from his cock, Arthur let out a sigh of relief, his body relaxing slightly as the intense sensation subsided. He watched with anticipation as she reached up and lifted the stole from his shoulders, exposing his bare skin to the cool air of the dungeon.

With each movement, Theodora's graceful hands sent shivers down Arthur's spine, his skin tingling with excitement at her touch. He felt a thrill of anticipation as she peeled away the soft fur, revealing his naked form beneath in its entirety.

With the stole now removed, Arthur felt more vulnerable than ever, his body exposed and at the mercy of Theodora's desires. But even as he trembled with anticipation, he couldn't help but feel a surge of excitement at the thought of what was to come.

With the stole in her hand, Theodora glanced down at Arthur's throbbing cock, her eyes lingering on his arousal before returning to meet his gaze. There was a wicked gleam in her eyes, a promise of pleasure yet to come.

She leaned over, spreading the soft, elegant, fuzzy finn raccoon stole slightly. With that, she wrapped it around his charged manhood, its soft fur wrapping it in a warm, intensely pleasurable cocoon.

Arthur moaned, his whole body tingling with pleasure as the luxurious fur caressed his sensitive skin. Theodora's touch was gentle yet firm, her fingers deft as she adjusted the stole to ensure maximum comfort and pleasure for Arthur. He felt a surge of arousal unlike anything he had ever experienced before.

As Theodora began to stroke his cock with the stole back and forth, Arthur sighed a moan softly at the exquisite sensation. The soft fur glided over his sensitive skin, gently tickling and dispatching intense surges of pleasure flooding through his body with each gentle caress.

Lost in the moment, Arthur closed his eyes, allowing himself to be carried away by the sensations washing over him. With Theodora's skilled furjob filling him with fuzzy and slightly ticklish ecstasy, he knew that he was in for unparalleled pleasure and indulgence, all thanks to the exquisite touch of the fur stole in Theodora's hands.

“Let go, Arthur. Sink into the feeling of the stole on your cock. It totally engulfs you. You’re entirely wrapped up in my soft furs. It feels so soft and pleasurable. Its soft caresses are not like anything you’ve felt before,” Theodora whispered, her voice a sultry purr as she continued to stroke him with the stole.

Arthur's mind was filled with nothing but the intoxicating sensation of the fur stole, its softness enveloping him in a cocoon of pleasure. He let go of all thoughts, all worries, all inhibitions, allowing himself to be carried away by the sheer ecstasy of the experience.

As Theodora's strokes grew more intense, more urgent, Arthur felt himself teetering on the edge of release. With one final, electrifying stroke, he tumbled over the edge, his body convulsing with pleasure as he succumbed to the overwhelming ecstasy of his climax.

As Arthur spasmed with pleasure, the stole continued to stroke him with gentle, rhythmic movements, prolonging his climax and intensifying the waves of ecstasy coursing through his tickled and abused body. Each stroke routed streams of intense ticklish lust rippling through his body, drawing out his release and prolonging the exquisite sensation of bliss.

Finally, as the last waves of pleasure washed over him, Arthur let out a contented sigh, his body limp and spent from the intensity of his climax. He hung there, basking in the afterglow, his mind awash with a sense of euphoria and satisfaction.

Theodora looked at him, a knowing smile playing on her lips as she observed the blissful expression on his face. She leaned in close, brushing a soft kiss against his forehead before stroking his cheek.

"Sleep well, Arthur. I’ll go handle the punishments of your mates now. We’ll have so much more ticklish fun tomorrow," she whispered, her voice a gentle murmur as she turned to leave the tickle dungeon, leaving him to drift off into a peaceful slumber, his body still tingling with the lingering echoes of pleasure.

[thorburned]

the mirror realm that blake and rose are in for most of pact is actually really interesting, because it's kind of like the opposite of a pocket realm. most pocket realms we've heard about, like theodora’s collection, demesnes, and knotted places, are relatively small but have a lot going on in them; the mirror realm on the other hand is almost completely dark and empty, but seems to connect to every reflective surface in the world. it seems unlikely that this realm was carved out specifically for blake and rose, given how big it is, and the fact that several others are able to enter it, including faerie and demons, with some like bloody mary seeming specifically adapted to the space. you could argue it's not even a realm so much as a very limited filter through which to view and interact with the world, but some major realms, like the spirit world and ruins, also function kind of like filters, mapping pretty directly to the mundane, physical world, with different features emphasized, and populated by specific types of others. i'd term realms like the mirror realm something like 'thin realms' or 'bare realms'.

mirrors, and mirror worlds, are a concept that have a fair amount of meaning in human thought, so it makes sense that a realm specifically highlighting them could exist. thinking of other features that could define an otherwise bare realm, that could form something coherent if everything else in the world were filtered out, that specific types of others could find a niche in, the first thing that comes to mind is something like the 'nowhere space' from hilda. it's made up of the combined unused space in a given human dwelling: the gap between furniture and floor or wall, the space inside a shelf when its drawers are pulled out, the back of a closet behind what's stored. outdoors, the realm becomes a massive, unnavigable void, as so much space is unused for human purposes, with no thresholds to subdivide it. in hilda, the indoor sections are mainly inhabited by nisse, house spirits, but in the otherverse i could see it also being home to the predatory monster under the bed and monster in the closet. this one almost exists as a counterpart to the ruins, where the denizens are mostly echoes and incarnations of human emotions and concepts, and areas of the landscape unvisited or uncared for by humans drop into nothingness.

other potential realms: the light, the world extending only as far as the light touches, changing with the passage of the sun and the flicks of switches, and its inverse, the dark, the shadow realm, inhabited by others to whom light is anathema. there could also be realms defined by life or lack of life, or realms inhabited by elementals that can only exist in bodies of water or near sources of heat. in fact, i think the digital aether is the most similar example in a known realm. originally, it might have existed as a bare realm of electrical impulses, with only the occasional flicker of lightning and animal nervous systems, but as the transfer of power and data along clear lines became so integral to human technology and culture, others began to fill the available niche, and the digital aether ascended into mainstream relevance among practitioners, or at least technomancers. 

sight also strikes me as relevant. the default for sight seems to be a view into the spirit world, layering that realm over the physical world as a filter that can be interacted with or adjusted to focus on whatever the practitioner chooses. the line between a thin realm being another level of reality or simply a way of perceiving the world might be academic; for a fish that can never breathe air or walk on land, what it can sense in the water might as well be all that exists in the world.

[witchesoz]

Oz lore: The Great and Powerful (1)

« Oz : The Great and Powerful » is a 2013 fantasy movie part of the Oz universe. And when it comes to the Ozian lore, it is a mess.

You see, this movie was Disney’s attempt at remaking/restarting the heritage of the MGM Wizard of Oz movie, by creating its prequel explaining how the Wizard came to Oz (a green-skinned wicked witch, Glinda travelling in bubbles, that’s all the MGM). However, Disney actually did not had the rights to the MGM movie and thus had to twist things to avoid a lawsuit (with things such as the wicked witch being of a different shade of green than the one used in the MGM movie, or Glinda becoming blond instead of a red-hair). As a result, the movie presented itself officially as a “prequel to the original books” and took inspiration from it (the China Town for example), but this inspiration is sporadic and a thinly-hidden attempt at escaping lawsuits, since the movie is heavily if not almost entirely based on the MGM product.

Anyway, despite all of that, the movie became very famous and unfamous, popularizing a lot of concepts and ideas – especially towards younger generations unaware of the other MGM-related works such as “Return to Oz” or “Wicked”. So let’s dig into this lore, shall we? I’ll divide it into two sections.

Oh yeah, and there will be bits of review-like stuff here and there, because why not throw a review at the same time?

WARNING SPOILERS AHEAD

I) The Witches

It is not just because the witches of Oz are my favorite part of any lore. This movie relies heavily on the Ozian witches. They are key players to the story, and the movie’s plot is about how they came to be who they were in the MGM movie – we mean novel – we mean neither because ultimately the movie actually doesn’t add up to either the book or the MGM canon, putting it in its own unique chronology that never went anywhere since no sequels were made.

Witches in this movie are… unexplained. We know they exist in Oz, but we actually do not know anything about what they truly are. It is unclear if they are a different species from humans, or if they are humans with magical gifts, but one thing is sure: they are very different from ordinary people. All of them occupy high positions in the Ozian hierarchy. Theodora comments strongly imply that people are naturally afraid of witches (she says that, due to her being a witch, no one ever gave her genuine gifts, wooed her or offered her to dance, making her insanely lonely) – however this is contradicted by Glinda’s subjects behavior, who gladly offer her gifts and are very close and friendly with her, visibly not bothered by her being a witch. So this is up to debate.

We can however establish several common points of witches. All of them are females with magical powers. All of them are tied to a certain element, as which their magic will manifest. All witches have the natural ability to “fly”, that is to say levitate into the air. And each of the witches has a gem with her, that is the source of all of her powers, and breaking it means defeating her. Oh yes, and all their names end in -a. Now, we have three witches in total in Oz:

# Evanora

Evanora is the witch that pretends to be the good witch, but is the wicked one.

Evanora was the Royal Advisor of the previous King of Oz. She was also, unknown to him and to everyone else, a wicked witch. Her presence however was visibly felt already in Oz, since the King (who was also a wizard) made a prophecy: one day, a powerful wizard bearing the name Oz would come from the sky to save the country from the evil and darkness infecting it. However, he died soon after this prophecy. Evanora had poisoned him – and she tricked everyone into believing that the King’s daughter, Glinda princess of Oz, was the murderer of her own father. She banished her from the Emerald City, and publicly made it known that she was the Wicked Witch who caused all sorts of evil deeds across Oz. Except that all these evil deeds were actually done by Evanora herself. She held on the throne of Oz as a “regent”, until the arrival of the Wizard per the prophecy, and thus secured her power as the unofficial ruler of Oz. When the so-called Wizard actually arrived, Evanora immediately knew that he was a fake, just a greedy impostor, but she used it to her advantage, playing along with his lies and forcing him into killing the “wicked witch” by breaking her wand. Thus, she could have gotten rid of Glinda, her enemy, for good. This is actually very interesting here – because later Glinda explains that the “good citizens of Oz” are forbidden from killing anybody, and Glinda herself doesn’t want to kill Evanora for her actions. So visibly, death sentences are not existing in Oz – and so, for Evanora to explain to the Wizard that killing the Wicked Witch is the only way clearly reveals her wickedness.

Evanora, despite being the oldest evil in the room, with a lot of experience, is actually not the most ferocious person. She is a liar and a manipulator who tricked everyone into believing she was the “good one”, including her own sister. She also is shown to never do dirty works directly. She always arrange for other people, her agents or her armies, to kill or attack people for her, and rarely gets into direct fights, except when she is sure to win or cornered. In fact, when she is certain she has no way to win a battle, she cowers and flees before the threats. Evanora also has an obsession with eliminating Glinda – and it is not just because she is the only force of good left and the legitimate heir to the throne. Evanora takes a great delight into publicly torturing Glinda, and she makes several time comments about Glinda’s “pretty face” and how she hates or curses it. I will get back on that later.

Evanora’s gem/power source is an emerald necklace/amulet. Her magic, when raw, takes the shape of green electricity. Outside of her ability to fly, common to all witches, her other powers rely on magical items: she has a red powder that she can use to craft items magically, and a huge crystal ball she can use to spy on anyone in Oz. She has directly under her commands an army of flying baboons (savage and evil versions of the flying monkeys, massive angry baboons with bat wings), and an ensemble of “Winkie guards” (I’ll talk about them later). Note that all of these items of her powers actually belong to the Wicked Witch of the West in the MGM movie. Evanora ends up defeated when Glinda breaks her amulet, which not only deprives her of all powers, but also “removes” an enchantment she cast upon herself. You see, in the MGM movie they explain that “only wicked witches are ugly”. And the rule seems to carry on in this movie – when a witch turns wicked, she becomes ugly. More specifically, the glamorous and beautiful Evanora is actually in truth an old, hunchbacked crone with long grey hair, rotten teeth, a hooked nose and chin, as well as warts (a typical “hag witch” so to speak). Considering this, and how she is visibly displeased by her sister’s wicked “hideousness”, it becomes clear that Evanora’s obsession with Glinda’s “pretty face” is tied to a strong vanity and envy. She clearly resents her for being beautiful and pure, where she is ugly and corrupt.

And here is the ultimate key to understand the character of Evanora – she is actually a Disney witch more than anything. The obsessive vanity dates back to the Evil Queen of Snow White, and her transformation into an old crone also reminds one of this movie – let’s not forget how she uses literally an enchanted apple, like the Evil Queen. On the other side, the use of green electricity reminds of another extremely vain Disney witch: Winnifred Sanderson. And of course, the use of electricity, green color and the flowing dress also reminds one of Maleficent. As a result Evanora, while a great villain, is fundamentally a Disney villain, and the biggest mark of Disney’s attempt at owning the franchise.

In the end, Evanora becomes who would later be known as the “Wicked Witch of the East”, using two of her surviving flying baboons to fly away. It is unknown how she came to conquer the East – in fact, this movie makes no mention of either silver shoes or ruby slippers. But, many have theorized that Theodora possibly helped her sister regain power – since Theodora’s gem is a ruby, and in the MGM continuity the magic shoes are made of ruby…

# Glinda

Glinda the Good. She is clearly based on the MGM movie character, but she is also mixed up with the novel character (for example, she is here Witch of the South, and not Witch of the North). But just like in the MGM movie, she turns out to be the only Good Witch in all of Oz.

Daughter of the previous king-wizard of Oz, she was falsely accused by the treacherous Evanora of poisoning her father, and banished from the Emerald City, publicly denounced as the “Wicked Witch” whose minions caused horrors in Oz. However, Glinda managed to build herself a small kingdom in the South, welcoming people who fled from the disasters of the Wicked Witch, and revealing to them the truth and who the real enemy was. She later is the one who helps the Wizard fulfill his destiny – though he first tried to kill her. Oh yeah and they also kind of fall in love together.

Glinda’s gem is a diamond, located in her silver wand she carries everywhere. Evanora claims that breaking Glinda’s wand would kill her, however it seemingly was a lie, since breaking Evanora’s gem merely deprived her of her powers. Glinda’s powers are associated with the color white and the rainbow. It seems she has a control over either water or air, it is slightly unclear: she uses her powers under two forms. One, as a white fog, to blind enemy or conceal objects. Two, as bubbles – she can create individual bubbles for transportation, and she created a giant bubble dome to protect her kingdom, a magic wall that only lets good-hearted people pass through. To make matters even more confusing, her raw magic actually looks like light, either light glow or light rays. Not just a simple light, but a light that, while mostly white, has some colors of the rainbow in it – in fact its other magic (the fog and bubbles) are also iridescent. This is a nice touch, a nod to how diamonds and prisms can fracture the white light into a rainbow. She also has the ability to fly like all other witches – usually she surrounds herself with a bubble to do it, but she admits it is “just for show” and she doesn’t truly need it.

Glinda is kind, good, moral, charitable, gentle, etc… but she is also a clever girl (well, most of the time). Glinda especially believes in abstract and spiritual concepts, instead of material ones. What I mean is that, for example she keeps repeating that her father might have died, but his spirit and his ideals will live on through his people and those that fight for them. In a similar way, she immediately realizes that the Wizard is not actually a true wizard, but she explains that what the people of Oz need is actually someone to believe to and someone to guide them – the real magic power isn’t important, the most important is the power people put in you.

# Theodora

Theodora is without a doubt the missed character in this story. It is no spoiler now, but she is the origin story of the Wicked Witch of the West. And yeah, she is a cliché becoming-a-villain character, very unconvincing and unimpressive compared to the original (in fact Evanora left me more of an impression than her). As Theodora she had at least something interest, but all her becoming wicked is… not interesting at all. At least for me.

So let’s dig in, shall we? Theodora is actually a good witch at the beginning of the movie. She calls herself Theodora the Good and has been fooled by Evanora into believing her sister (which she loves deeply) is the good witch protecting Oz, while Glinda is the Wicked Witch. Note that Theodora visibly knew Glinda beforehand, and in fact Evanora and Theodora have an interesting discussion – Evanora accuses Theodora of “finally” having joined side with Glinda, implying that they were friends or close before, to which Theodora answers that she is on “no one’s side” and her only wish is to bring peace to Oz. In a similar way, when Evanora shows Theodora that the Wizard is not killing Glinda, Theodora is delighted, believing that the Wizard is “brining her back to the light and the goodness”. All throughout the movie, Evanora plays with her sister’s emotions to manipulate her, playing with her naiveté to make herself look good, playing on her jealousy and wrath to make the Wizard look bad... The typical textbook of an abusing older sister. Evanora especially likes to remind Theodora that “deep down” she is wicked, and only pretending to be good, which always enrages her.

Theodora is actually an interesting character when you look at her. She explains to the Wizard that she is extremely lonely, because being a witch, no one ever gave her a gift of their own free will, and no one ever asked her to dance. She also immediately believes that the Wizard is the one foretold in the prophecy. The Wizard uses her extreme naiveté by seducing her, and in his flirty words, Theodora believes that he promised to make her Queen of Oz, aka his wife. This all actually is what put the Wizard in his uncomfortable situation in the first place. We also see that Theodora, despite being a sweet and timid girl, has actually a “temper” – when Evanore makes a disagreeable comment, she gets very angry and momentarily loses control of her destructive powers, something she visibly is ashamed of (and in general, Theodora was the one using the less her magic out of the three). Later, Evanora plays on her emotions: not only does she invent a fake story about the Wizard seducing her and promising her to be Queen, to spark Theodora’s jealousy, but she also shows Theodora the real romance that is budding between the Wizard and Glinda. Theodora is heartbroken, making her cry – and her tears burn her face (I’ll come back to that later), which makes her suffer a lot, but she only considers it as a deserving punishment for how much of a fool she is. She is so overwhelmed with sadness and hate (mixed with the pain of her own tears) that she succumbs to Evanora’s proposition: to bite into an enchanted apple in order to stop her heartache (and thus the painful emotions she feels), and in exchange share the throne of Oz with her sister, banishing the Wizard and Glinda together (Theodora still believes then Evanora is a good witch, but she simply will not let Glinda become the Wizard’s Queen for anything in the world).

Now, I’ll stop there to actually point out something: at first, Theodora might seem like a cliché, flat character. But in fact, when you look at her on a second view, you realize that she is seems to actually suffer from a type of borderline personality disorder. She checks numerous marks: a feeling of solitude and emptiness ; an inability to control your temper and anger resulting in excessive mood swings ; an impulsive behavior resulting in unstable relationships (such as forming in your head a perfect image of someone you love only to realize later reality is different) ; a deep fear of abandonment (here both by the Wizard and her sister)… the only ones missing are the frequent changes in self-image, the stress-related paranoia and the suicidal threats. This already makes her a more disturbed and tragic character. But on the other side, you have to admit that honestly she is quite dumb. The most jarring element was when she used Evanora’s crystal ball to spy on the Wizard and Glinda. She sees how happy, colorful and joyful Glinda’s realm is, she sees that the people are certainly not oppressed and that there are no flying baboons or evil things anywhere. And yet she still believes Glinda is the wicked witch? Come on!

After biting in the enchanted green apple (in a very heavy nod to Disney’s Snow White), Theodora realizes that Evanora tricked her into becoming wicked. The apple first “makes it all clear”, because apparently, wickedness sharpens your mind? Theodora understands Evanora is the wicked witch, not Glinda, and then starts to suffer the intense pains of her “heart withering away”, all emotions and goodness replaced by wickedness and hatred. And, since all wicked witches are ugly in Oz, she turns into a copy of the iconic image of the Wicked Witch of the West: green-skinned, with a hooked nose, yellow eyes and a hooked chin. The movie also added black claws able to leave marks on marble, which is a nice touch.

Theodora’s magic manifests as red fire (she usually throws red fireballs, that sometimes explode upon hitting their target; and she can also teleport herself like a meteor and manifest out of fire tornadoes). She can fly like all other witches, but chooses to do so on a broom (broom which leaves a thick black smoke behind her) – specifically because the Wizard once told her that in his world witches flew on brooms. Her gem is actually a ruby she wears as a ring. Theodora also shows another power the other witches have not: telekinesis (she notably forces the Wizard to dance like a puppet). In fact, Theodora is implied to be the strongest of the three witches, being able to break Glinda’s wall when Evanora could not.

It is established here that Theodora is dreadfully allergic to water – it burns her like acid. To the point her own tears burn her cheeks. However, this is never actually explained. We do not know how or why, and we don’t know if Evanora has the same problem or not. It might be related to her having fire-magic, but the other witches don’t seem to suffer side-effect from their own elemental magics. So… yeah, an unanswered question.

Theodora as the Wicked Witch is basically pure hatred and violence. In fact, she only knows now how to threaten, shout and cackle. Even Evanora is taken aback by how furious and bloodthirsty – where Evanora wants people to flee in terror at the sight of her army, Theodora wants to kill all their enemies without mercy ; Evanora suggests hiding Theodora’s ugliness behind an enchantment, but Theodora refuses because she wants the Wizard to see what “he” did to her ; finally Theodora takes leadership of the “wicked” army and even calls Evanora a “coward” and the “weak one” when she flees in front of the Wizard, while Theodora fights to the last minute.

I also forgot to mention, but quite obviously the witches are color-coded: Glinda is entirely white ; Evanora is linked to green, with touches of black ; and Theodora used to be all red before switching to an all-black outfit.

[starswordartblog]

The God of Cavesong

Got around to writing a sequel for one of last year’s OCtober pieces, I’ll link it in a reblog since Tumblr hates links.

Content warning for abuse and religious trauma (albeit the religion is fictional).

Silvana lost track of the days as she remained confined within the sanctuary's chamber. She was given the bare minimum of food and water and nothing else. Her time was spent praying and sometimes just talking to the God. The God answered at times, and that was enough for her.

After who knows how long, someone came to question her.

"You have been here for long, in fervent devotion no doubt. The priest requests you share the wisdom our God has imparted so far.

Silvana's breath hitched. "I'm sorry. I'm heard His voice, He asks for prayers and worship, but that was all. I don't even know what wisdom I should be asking for."

She heard nothing but the man's breath as he came closer, putting a hand under her chin to lift her face up. "My, my," he said, "don't be so hard on yourself. You don't have to ask for anything. To hear His voice so soon, you are far more blessed than we thought. Continue your work, priestess." As he talked, he brought his other hand to her hair, pushing it off her face, long nails scrapping her scalp with far more strength than the gesture required. "Make it clear that there is no part of your favored existence that cannot be offered to Him."

And he left. She wasn't brought food for much more longer than usual after that.

"On the chamber where moonlight drips on forever, miracle rain falls for but a moment."

The words were blown to her ear as soon as she woke up that time. It was the first time the God had spoken to her unprompted. Usually she would be murmuring prayers of gratitude and pleas for help for what felt like hours before the voice came by, always along the only wisps of wind she could feel in the enclosed chamber.

"On the chamber where moonlight drips... I don't understand."

"You don't have to understand. Worship me and remember my words. That will be all."

Then it clicked. "God's wisdom...! Thank you!" and she chanted the words spoken to her a dozen times, carefully and clearly, hoping to remember them and pass them on to the priest's followers next time they came by.

"You'll have time to memorize them," said the voice, "first, eat."

It was far from the first time the God interrupted her like that. In fact, it was their most frequent interaction. Hours of prayers stopped by short, stern reminders. Eat. Rest. Sleep. Stretch your legs, you've been kneeling for too long.

It all sounded so earthly, so unexpected of a higher power. Those were the only moments Silvana didn't feel so terrified, so out of her depth.

"Of course, thank you," she whispered back as usual and extended her hand to where the bowl of food was usually placed. But there was nothing there.

Before she could say anything, she felt something small bump against her back, again and again. Turning around, she felt a handful of round, soft things with a fresh smell. Putting one on her mouth confirmed her suspicions. They were berries, scattered to her side by a soft breeze.

The breeze that only came from her God.

They didn't taste miraculous, weren't even enough to sate her hunger. She actually recognized them. Those berries grew on bushes from higher on the mountains. The more adventurous villagers would bring some home at times, and gladly share with her in trade for her own cooking.

The image of a berry gathering God coming over for lunch put a smile on her face.

The next time someone came by, it was just to deliver food, but she still blurted out the God's words as fast as she could, hoping to appease them. It probably worked, as they returned to the previous feeding schedule.

"I thank my God for this and every meal, for looking out for our humble lives, for every tiny berry and huge tree of our blessed land," became an habitual prayer for her before meals. It was usually after it that the God would reveal more cryptic wisdom to her, warnings of beasts and places to be avoided, and other things she didn't understand. She only passed on the words to others as soon as she could.

It took her by surprise when the words whispered were a question.

"Why didn't you tell them?"

"I..." She was tired of saying she didn't understand things, but how else does one politely ask a God for clarification?

Luckily she didn't have to figure it out. "The berries," the voice provided. "You clearly haven't forgot about that, but you haven't told them. Why?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize I should, I'll tell them of your miracle as soon as I can, my God."

"I didn't ask you to. I asked why. I wish to gaze upon your true heart, priestess. Let it speak for a moment."

Silvana's blood ran cold. Was the God dissatisfied? She hadn't ever been dishonest so far, what else did she have to say? She hated this responsibility, the fate of her people on her shoulders.

"I am not a brave person, my God," was the truest thing that could came from her lips with so many possible disasters weighting on her mind, "I tell them what they ask of me. They asked me for wisdom, so I gave them your words. I'm, not smart enough to tell the wisdom of that act, so I haven't told them."

The silence that fell did nothing to soothe her anxiety, but it didn't last long.

"You couldn't see the wisdom in that, yet you keep bringing it up. Why?"

"It's because I could see the blessing in it, my God. I was taught you are of immense power, that you share it with your followers to conquer the land and shape it to your will. As someone who lives a humble life, these designs are hard to understand. But I understand looking out for someone in need, feeding them with what the land provides, keeping them company even when they're weak and useless. Those are small things you've done for me since I came here, and to me they were easier to see as blessings. Because I have no training as a priestess, I could only hope my honest gratitude would make for better prayers."

She felt numb and winded, having talked more than she intended. It was weird, confessing to a God that she had no idea how to worship properly, but her chest felt lighter. It was probably obvious from the start, wasn't it? She had always been an honest person, there was only so much she could take of a role she wasn't made for.

She could the breeze gently blowing around her, but no voice came for a while.

"You are wiser than you believe," it finally said. "You would make a good priestess, if you hadn't been forced to it."

Silvana's head spun like the wind. So the God knew she hadn't had a choice. The cult called her blessed, favored. She thought they had acted due to some divine will she could not fathom.

"Have we angered you, my God?" She did her best to not raise her voice in panic, but couldn't stop it from trembling. "Would you rather someone else be in my place?"

A stronger gust blew. "You can't say things like that. If they think that you don't want to listen, or that I've rejected you, they might harm you. And I won't let your faith be in vain. As long as you're here, I will protect you. So even if you're afraid, please trust and keep a secret when I ask you to."

What kind of God says please to a common peasant? What kind of God sounds powerless against their own followers? The voice continued to sound more like a fellow partner than a God.

Silvana couldn't help but smile, it was better that way. "I understand, thank you. I trust you."

The wind died down and silence fell. After a while just a wisp came by, the sound so low Silvana didn't make out all the words.

"...that will be all." It sounded like the usual parting. But then it picked up again in a regular volume. "And get up and stretch a bit, your human body will be pained if you just sit here all day."

"...of course, thank you."

[talesofourworlds]

@endlcssmasquerade​ gets Eizen and Theodora interactions!

Humans came, humans went. It was the way of the world for their kind, and by then Eizen was more or less accustomed to it. Still, his thoughts had been heavy as the somber air around the Van Eltia. The last of her crew, the humans he had traveled with the longest, had finally passed on not too long ago. Now there was nothing attaching him to he ship. No reason for him to linger around there. 

No one would want her, he told himself. The ship was deemed as cursed long ago and only Aifread’s crew had been foolhardy enough to set sail aboard her. Well... them, and Velvet’s motley crew he had been a part of. Still, it seemed a shame to let her waste away in Taliesin’s harbor until she was inevitably scrapped.

“We had some good times,” he said as he stood before the Van Eltia. No human could see him within Taliesin, he was sure. With Innominat gone along with Velvet, and Maotelus ushering in a new era, a lot of humans had lost their ability to perceive Malakhim like him. As far as any human would be concerned, there was no one standing in front of the ship. No one offering a final parting word or two. But what to do now?

“Guess I could always take you myself,” he mused. “Make the humans think you’re haunted. Heh...” Wouldn’t that be a riot, he thought. One last hoorah to make people really want to steer clear of the Van Eltia. Alas, Eizen didn’t think he’d follow through with the thought. A one man pirate crew, especially made up of one Malak who couldn’t swim very well, was doomed before it even set out. He knew that. 

“You’ve earned the rest,” he told the ship. It felt no more odd to be talking to the Van Eltia than anything else. He offered one last wave before turning around to face the cliffside city properly.

A few days spent in Taliesin before finding a new ship to hitch a ride on with a young crew seemed like the best idea. It would be another risk, brushing with humans and exposing himself to more malevolence, but it was a risk Eizen had always embraced. Humans were going to and fro, chatting about this and that or shopping, and as far as Eizen could tell all seemed pretty normal. He might as well take a look around the market, he decided. He’d see if there was anything interesting he could either purchase for himself or send to Edna as another gift.

Soon after approaching the market, though, Eizen noticed something. Rather, he noticed someone. Another Malak, wind element from the look of her. He’d been to Taliesin plenty of times, but he couldn’t recall seeing her. The only other Malak he’d known to come around Taliesin was Zaveid. Even then, he’d never actually encountered Zaveid there before. He’d only heard him mentioned.

A friend of his, perhaps?

“...Guess I wasn’t the only one interested in the market,” he decided to say as he took a couple of steps closer.

[saint-starflicker]

Rope (1948). I think I followed you for Like Minds 2006 content? Anyway, Rope would be the thematic OG Dark Academia cinematic canon murder husbands.

The Children's Hour (1961). For a Hays Code era film, I call this malicious compliance. It ends tragically because the motion picture production code dictated that, but I view its direct address of lesbianism as a fierce indictment of the erasure and censure of lesbians at the time and the intolerance of general society. Also, it stars the iconic Audrey Hepburn.

The Haunting (1963). Theodora lives and she's a hashtag psychic lesbian girlboss.

Rebel Without A Cause (1955). I have not watched this but it's apparently Jimmy Dean at his most onscreen bisexual, and is a camp classic.

Spartacus (1960). I have not watched this but I heard it was another one of these heavily gay in subtext movies, and a classic because of it, and one of my mutuals posted the movie poster in response to the Boys Think About the Roman Empire All the Time meme.

The Naked Civil Servant (1975). Are we still cross with Quentin Crisp for making excuses for The Author Who Must Not Be Named? Because before he said that, this was his biopic. Quasi-sequel is the 2009 film An Englishman in New York.

Sebastiane (1976). This has nudity. So much nudity. Everybody is speaking Latin, though, so it's an art film. Hashtag just catholic things.

TRON (1982). THE TITLE IS YELLING AT US. It's accidentally about a love triangle becoming a throuple. Also that one guy gets trapped in cyberspace with two of their clones while trying to commit corporate espionage of a video game company that...also teleports oranges...? (Just go with it.)

The Killing Fields (1984). They remembered a brown man can be the main character in an American film about foreign relations. Also the camera framing produced absolutely accidental homoeroticism.

My Beautiful Laundrette (1985). Interracial gay relationship with a happy ever after and the elements of an interesting plot with one character's family drama involving organized crime...but this is one of those rare movies that I hope gets re-made and modernized because the dead air and pacing was, I guess, very 1980s.

Top Gun (1986). Rivals to lovers, I have not seen this but I heard the beach volleyball scene was steamy.

Lost Boys (1987). I heard this would have gay subtext vampires, and I watched it, but I didn't see it. I'm including it in the list in case you see what I can't see.

Maurice (1987). The Victorian/Edwardian aesthetic!!

Dead Poets Society (1989). Wait, did I really follow you for Like Minds 2006 content or for Dead Poets Society 1989 content? In this one they're at prep school but they're not murder husbands. Totally different vibe.

The Living End (1992). It's like if the RENT musical were a road trip and also weren't a musical.

Interview with a Vampire (1994). This has nudity, blood, murder, and a character I think is called nowadays a "loli" (a grown woman's consciousness stuck in the body of an immortal prepubescent girl). I don't remember much else about it, but the two vampire guys were considered fandom murder husbands back in the day — and apparently there's a new remake (miniseries? streaming series?) that is more explicit about the race issues and homoeroticism, so there's that. Tale as old as time.

Total Eclipse (1995). I have not watched this despite having watched this because I had an older sister who was a bit of a fujoshi in addition to having a parasocial celebrity crush on Leonard DiCaprio, she selfshipped like burning. So I remember staring at the screen while it played, and being bored out of my skull because I was a 7-year-old sapphic who did not care about Leonardo DiCaprio. Maybe I should try re-watching this.

Clueless (1995). I think this was my first exposure to a fictional gay person. (I had guncles; I don't even remember when or how I learned that was a thing or what it meant.) He gets a lot of minced slurs called at him behind his back trying to describe him, but ultimately is not framed as a bad person. I think when I complain about 1990s tokenization of gay boys and characters that are offensively inoffensive, I'm thinking of Christian from Clueless instead of Maxwell Oliver from Skins. But it was the mid-90's so I guess that's what was needed at the time? It's an adaptation of Jane Austen's Emma, so of course it's going to have the emotional landscape of a Miyazaki movie, and I can't complain too much.

The Watermelon Woman (1996). Do you ever fall down into a research rabbit hole? I frequently fall down into research rabbit holes.

So Close (2002). Sapphic law enforcement officer hunts down a pair of sisters who are professional assassins.

Angels in America (2003 miniseries). Watch this whole thing, then read Fraternity by Andy Mientus. Brace yourself emotionally for both.

Mysterious Skin (2004). This is a movie about surviving and living with CSA. The subject matter is very heavy and Joseph Gordon Levitt's character is definitely not the "perfect victim uwu" that I think a lot of people expect of those who have gone through something so atrocious. I think the book was better, but the movie is very good. Just...brace yourself emotionally.

The Lord of the Rings (2001, 2002, 2003). Just guys being dudes. The book was gayer: everybody is in musical theater, the hobbits take baths together, and Samwise keeps blushing and holding Frodo's hand (all right, it was one time. But it was like, whoa...Tolkien, that was some very intense hand-holding that you wrote there...) I guess it's like with the original Sherlock Holmes novels and short stories: If the work about the lives of men marginalizes or objectifies women too much, then the emotional fulfillment that fills the vacuum is going to come from the dynamics between the men because that's where the characterization generally is going to have the most sparkle and sparks.

Saving Face (2004). Hashtag sapphic Chinese diaspora problems. In my humble opinion this is basically one of those rare perfect movies.

looking for gay movie recs! ideally from the 80s & 90s! but whenever is good!

even if it's just heavily implied gayness & never explicitly stated.

thanks! :)

[thatboomerkid]

SpellJammer: Shadow of the Spider-Moon

Player’s Packet (ver 1.3)

for use with the First Edition Pathfinder Role-Playing Game

by Clinton J. Boomer

with special thanks to Andy Collins, Scott Schomburg, Chloe Michelle, Dennis Detwiller, David Gerrold, and George Loki Williams

additional campaign materials may be found here

The broad theme of the campaign is simple: “outsiders — criminals, rejects, freedom fighters, the lost, the abandoned, the desperate, and the mad — go balls-out, nothing to lose, against corrupt authority and nightmare monsters, surviving on the razor’s edge of the known & the unknown”.

It’s meant to have one foot in Serenity/Firefly, one foot in Pirates of the Caribbean, one foot in Guardians of the Galaxy, yet another foot in Princess Bride, plus little dashes of steampunk / dieselpunk pulp-action high-fantasy on top: Raiders of the Lost Ark, Giant Robo: The Day the Earth Stood Still, Aliens, Lupin III: The Castle of Cagliostro, The Mummy, The Fifth Element, The Rocketeer, and/or Big Trouble in Little China

RACES

Dwarf: a scattered people born of Moradin’s Forge*, 80% of whom now exist solely as slaves beneath the whip and bootheel of the illithid and their grotesque creations. Dwarves in captivity are stripped of their names, titles, and family lineage; for this reason, free dwarves often cover themselves in dense tattoos, transformed into living repositories of their clan history. Dwarves no longer have a homeland but make small communities on Fenris, the Crown-Moons of Garl, Gelth, and Callarduran, and across the Chain of Tears (especially the city of Discord).

For human occupants of Pyrespace, the illithid invasion – which the Church of Yondalla officially denies occurring, under pain of incarceration, transportation, and excommunication – happened ten years ago: half a generation past, when the very youngest of human spacehands were still in diapers.

For dwarves, it happened approximately last Tuesday.

Shepard Book, Zoe Washburne, and Drax the Destroyer are good examples of dwarves.

*NOTE: The Church of Yondalla, which does not recognize the divinity of Moradin, refers to the dwarven home-world instead simply as ‘the Adamant Forge’ in all official documentation.

---

Elf: an elegant race in slow decline, born of Perianth, still recovering from the Unseelie War that split and decimated the species a millennium ago. For the elves, long-lived as they are, the wound is still very fresh: fewer than seven generations have passed since the end of the war, after all (for a human, this is perhaps comparable to a tragedy that occurred less than a century and a half ago).

Elves consume food, water, and air as Small-size creatures. Drow are a playable race, although they suffer a great deal of distrust from everyone … including other drow.

Inara, Simon Tam, River Tam, the Operative, Nebula, and Gamora are good examples of elves.

---

Gnome: engineers and technologists born from the Circle of Gold, greatest moon of the Crown of Sapphire, now scraping-by on the Crown’s remaining moons and across the Chain of Tears: the devastated shards of their destroyed home-world, shattered two-and-a-quarter centuries ago.

Like the elves, of course, gnomes are fantastically long-lived: the very eldest gnomes can recall the true glory of their home world, seen with their own eyes; some of the most ancient were already well into their venerable years, over two and a half centuries old, at the time of the cataclysm. Even for the very youngest of gnomes, those who have never known a home-world other than the Chain of Tears, only about three generations have passed since the destruction of that moon (in terms that a human might understand, this is perhaps similar to an event that occurred 60-70 years ago).

Gnomes may choose to gain +2 Intelligence in place of their standard +2 Charisma; most have the Gear Gnome subtype. Nearly half of all gnomish pregnancies result in twins, and triplets are as common among gnomes as twins are among humans.

Kaylee Frye, Niska, Hoban ‘Wash’ Washburne, Rocket Racoon, Miracle Max (from Princess Bride), and Twigg (from Pirates of the Caribbean) are good examples of gnomes.

---

Hin: Undisputed rulers of Quelya above the waves, thanks much to their ingenuity in social organization & their bountiful harvests even in the most barren of lands. The vast monotheistic religion of the Hin offers prayers to Yondalla and to her Saints, including Davian and Asmodeus; all Hin estates contain a shrine to Yondalla. The priests and nuns of the Church may not marry, though their laity is expected to produce many, many children. Status within the Church is of paramount importance for all Hin; donations to the church can buy writs of indulgence, favorable legal judgment, and even sainthood.

Lord Beckett, Governor Swann, Elizabeth Swan, Captain Barbossa, and Commodore Norrington (from Pirates of the Caribbean), Badger (from Firefly), Buttercup, Prince Humperdink, Count Rugen, Vizzini (from Princess Bride), and the Collector and Grandmaster (from Guardians of the Galaxy) are all good examples of Hin.

A BRIEF NOTE ON HIN NAMING-CONVENTIONS

Hin identify, for the most part, as members of the Church of Yondalla first, as part of a culture second, and as citizens of a nation third.

Thus, a Hin living in Arvoreen, Beshaba, or Brandobaris can be expected to have an Arvorean, Beshabite, or Brandobarin name. However, a Hin living far away from the shores of Green Fields -- in Cyrrollalee or in Urogolan, for example -- with always retain a “proper” Arvorean, Beshabite, or Brandobarin name.

Hin with Urogalandic names, simply put, do not exist.

“Invented” Hin names, which are relatively common everywhere except on Quelya, are the major exception to this general rule: occasionally, a young Hin living off-world will choose to reinvent himself -- and, thus, rename himself -- often, but not always, as a means to get out from under the thumb of a particularly oppressive (or shameful) family. 

Venturing forth into the unknown without the benefit of a longstanding lineage is, in fact, a tradition among Hin significantly older than modern Arvorean or Brandobarin society.

As such, a young Hin in Lagas going by the name of “Morgan Drake,” “John Smith,” “Alastair Chapman,” or “Sebastian West” -- for example -- might be looked down upon as a probable criminal or even as a pirate ... but on Ashen, Verdura, or out on the Chain of Tears, such an individual is likely to earn a mark of respect from all but the most conservative and close-minded of Hin.

Invented Hin Male Names: Thomas, Morgan, Smith, Hunter, John, Price, Bennet, Chapman, West, Tanner, Spencer, Walker, Jackson, Clarke, Parker, Mason, Drake, Corbyn, Everett, Garret, Simon, Alastair, Sebastian, Elliot, Fletcher, Graham, Ethan, Oliver, Felix, Callumn, Stanley, Richmond, Lennox, Ford, Jensen, Gabriel, March, Ellis, Wellington, Reginald, Chesterton, Alex, Solomon, Carter

Invented Hin Female Names: Beatrix, Cressida, Gemma, Joclyn, Scarlett, Elizabeth, Rhonwen, Maisie, Isla, Kaitlyn, Briony, Jane, Charlotte, Adalaide, Ivy, Gwendolyn, Kenzie, Finlay, Audren, Haley, Theodora, Abigail

Invented Hin Last Names: (any invented Hin male first name)

---

Human: Humans come in many different colors, in many different sizes, and worship many, many gods – usually in the guise of Yondallan saints. Most humans pay at least some lip service to St. Davian, the great champion of Yondalla (who intercedes to deliver the prayers of humans to Yondalla), but humans very often also worship older, more-private familial gods. Humans may not, of course, marry into Hin families nor join in any Hin merchant house as a full partner; the best that a human can hope for, in many cases, is to be a servant remembered fondly by the children of the family he serves.

This, of course, leaves humans permanently at the bottom of the Quelyan (and thereby system-wide) economic food chain.

It is accepted fact, by those who study the pre-history of Pyrespace, that humans were once scattered across the system for unknown purposes and by unknown means, presumably at the whim of the mysterious Precursors. For this reason, the Church of Yondalla is active in seeking-out lost civilizations of humans who have spent unknown centuries far from the light of Yondalla’s mercy.

Captain Malcolm Reynolds, Captain Jack Sparrow, Westley the Farm-Boy, and Peter Quill are good examples of humans.

HUMAN OFFSHOOTS:

al’Zihad: Despite their bizarre appearances and hostile overtures, it is passionately believed that the curious ifrit, oread, sylph, suli, and undine populations native to Ashen were once human: servants of the Precursors adapted over the course of centuries to their alien environment. It is because of this belief that the Church of Yondalla has extended such a warm and generous offer of camaraderie to the “native” al’Zihad population, hoping to reintroduce them to their divinely ordained role as servants … this time, to the Hin.

Aasimar: Human families who commit themselves to the performance of good works in the name of Yondalla occasionally produce an angel-blooded or archon-blooded heir: born to serve the Church as beatific instruments of peace.

Dhampir: Some human children born beneath the Spider-Moon, along the Chain of Tears, or in the wilds of Fenris are infused with strange energies of death-magic. These children are claimed by the Church, for their own protection.

Fetchling: A strange subspecies of human – thought to originally hail from the lost forest-moon of Baervan (circling the Crown of Sapphire), infused with energies from the forbidden Library of the Eremite – these creatures are kept secret by the Church of Yondalla.

Ganzi: The children of humans exposed over-long to the energies of the Crown of Sapphire have been known to exhibit bizarre mutations; such creatures are taken-in by the Church of Yondalla to be kept safe.

---

Half-Elf: Increasingly common throughout the system, originally the products of union between a male elf and female human: while elven females will often take human lovers, both male and female, pregnancies resulting from such unions are unknown: elven women must maintain a strict, meditative state of concentration to actually achieve pregnancy. As such, accidental fertilization is impossible, and even the act of impregnation is discomforting enough that no elven female would perform the act without sound – usually political – reason.

Elven men, therefore, are often shocked to discover that a brief rendezvous with a human woman has produced a bastard child.

Half-elves now breed true and have formed small communities in larger cities like Discord, Zionil, Dallah, and Lagas. Half-elves have no place within Elven society and possess little group unity.

Will Turner (from Pirates of the Caribbean) and Inigo Montoya are good examples of Half-Elves.

Half-Orc: True orcs (and their off-shoot species, including ogres, goblins, and hobgoblins) are not born and possess no gender: they are fungal creatures that emerge fully-grown from vast, reeking pits. Humans exposed to this fungus occasionally produce half-orc offspring; half-orcs are most-commonly born from humans captured by the illithid and taken to Moradin’s Forge (where airborne spores of goblin-fungus are dangerously common).

Half-orcs are prized by the illithid as a more perfect slave-stock than dwarves, orcs, or other monstrous humanoids, and have escaped their bondage to breed true: the product of any mating involving half-orcs (human/half-orc or half-elf/half-orc) is nearly always half-orc: their bizarre, altered fungus-genome is nearly viral in this regard.

Populations of “native” half-orcs intermingle with “native” humans across the wastes of Fenris, representing – to the Church – peoples long separated from the light of Yondalla.

Jayne Cobb and Niska’s leg-breaker Crow (from Firefly), Fezzick (from Princess Bride), Yondu (from Guardians of the Galaxy), and Bo’sun (from Pirates of the Caribbean) are good examples of Half-Orcs.

---

Kuru: A bizarre subspecies of island-dwelling human driven all-but-extinct by the combined might of the Arvorean navy and the Church of Yondalla; kuru who bend the knee to the Church and denounce the worship of Dagon are given the same rights as other human offshoots (which is to say, not very much and certainly not as much as main-bloodline humans).

Skintwister: A vanishingly small percentage of humans – when directly exposed to alien fauna and extreme environment – rapidly adapt at a cellular level, taking on the most useful traits of a local native animal species within a generation. Human families on Quelya occasionally produce shark-blooded skintwister, while humans on Verdura can produce bat-blooded, bird-of-prey blooded, boar-blooded, crocodile-blooded, or tiger-blooded offspring, and humans on Fenris can produce bear-blooded, bird-of-prey blooded, boar-blooded, rat-blooded, tiger-blooded, and wolf-blooded young. These ‘near-humans’ are much prized by the Church as useful resources.

Tiefling: Human families who commit wicked deeds, marking themselves for eternal punishment in the bowels of Hell, occasionally produce a devil-blooded heir: born to serve the Church as weapons of war. In addition to the devil-spawn tieflings recognized by the Church of Yondalla, demon-spawn tieflings occasionally appear among the hinen (human servants) of Perianth; kyton-spawn appear among those humans on the Chain of Tears who venture too close to the forest-moon of Baervan, and rakshasa-spawn appear with alarming frequency among those humans assigned to toil the plantation-fields of Verdura.

---

Warforged: Creations of the gnomes, the original warforged were long ago the original deciding factor in the wars against the ysoki. Redesigned in later centuries to act as adaptable, dependable assistants for gnomes, including the best possible defense against Hive (and later, illithid) incursions into gnome-space, the warforged were manufactured in the tens of millions.

All warforged, under the dictates of the Church of Yondalla, are property: they do not, and cannot, possess souls.

Each warforged is “born” from a generation creche; not a single such creche is known to have survived the destruction of the Circle of Gold (the gnomish home-world), and the technology to repair or re-fire a damaged creche – if one could even be found! – is utterly lost. For this reason, warforged are no longer treated as the expendable resource they were in the days of the Rat-Slaughter or the Hive Marches.

Data (Star Trek), C3-PO (Star Wars), the T-800 (Terminator), K2-SO (Rogue One), Baymax (Big Hero 6), David (Prometheus), Cameron (Terminator: the Sarah Conner Chronicles), Bishop (Aliens), GLaDOS (Portal), Wall-E, and the Iron Giant are all good examples of possible warforged archetypes, but many other interpretations are possible.

image from here

----

Others:

In addition to the major races and civilizations of the system, two dozen or more other sapient species make their homes across Pyrespace.

Inhabitants of Ashen:

Kasatha: Swift and dangerous hunters adapted for the open desert, a rare few kasatha have left the holdings of their clans to seek bounty beyond their world.

---

Inhabitants of Verdura:

A huge number of native species make the wilds of Verdura their home, many of them armed with Precursor technology and decidedly hostile to strangers. Among them are the Catfolk (lion, tiger, jaguar, leopard, cheetah, puma), Giff, Ghoran, Gnoll, Grippli, Kobold, Lizardfolk, Nagaji, Orang-Pendak, Reptoid, Tengu, Vanara, Vishkanya, and Wyvaran.

---

Inhabitants of Quelya:

Gargoyle: A strange species of living stone that laired near – and among – the Urogalandic people for unknown millennia, gargoyles struck a deal with the Church of Yondalla during the Siege of Mordheim to assure their own survival; now, more than four centuries later, these hulking devils serve the Hin as bodyguards, elite scouts, heavy infantry, and unstoppable delivery-mechanisms.

Locathah: The curious and grotesque locathah – who are said to intermingle freely with the humans of many remote island communities – are treated with grave suspicion by the Church of Yondalla, as they often act as spies, seducers, and saboteurs for the cults of Dagon. The few locathah able to earn the trust of the Church are still watched closely for any sign of heresy.

---

Inhabitants of Perianth:

Gathlain: In the deepest woodlands of Perianth, far from the oversight of Elven noble houses, the bizarre gathlain wander the twilight; these odd entities claim to originate from an “adjacent” reality, one to which the doors have been shuttered.

The gathlain whisper that older, hungrier, and infinitely more powerful spirits of “the Forest Behind the Word” also lurk in the long shadows, slowly rebuilding their strength after a humiliating defeat -- and centuries of enslavement -- at the hands of a nameless elven witch-queen.

---

Inhabitants of the Chain of Tears:

Ratfolk: Nearly exterminated a dozen times over by the warforged armies of the gnomes, with whom they once shared a home world, the ysoki are a cunning species of survivors who have adapted to life across the Chain of Tears with endless tenacity.

Goblin-Spore (SQ): Some percentage of ysoki are carriers for a curious strain of the goblin fungus (which births goblins, hobgoblins, orcs, and ogres) to which they alone are immune. 

These special ysoki gain low-light vision, are immune to disease and poison, and are treated as Plant creatures -- in addition to being treated as humanoids with the ratfolk subtype --  for the purposes of a ranger’s favored enemy, for bane weapons, for feats, and for purposes of spells such as antiplant shell and horrid wilting, and for all similar effects, although these ysoki do not gain any other normal immunities, benefits, or traits of a true Plant creature.

---

Inhabitants of Fenris:

A fair number of native species make the wilds of Verdura their home, many of them armed with Precursor technology and decidedly hostile to strangers. Among them are the Catfolk (tigers and snow leopards), Kitsune, Syrinx, and Tengu.

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Inhabitants of the Adamant Forge

Duergar: engineered slaves of the illithid, built via a foul twisting of the dwarven genetic code, duergar are not a common sight anywhere in Pyrespace except, perhaps, in the company of their horrid masters. That said, some duergar -- such as those dwelling on the Forge-Moon of Duerra -- have shattered the chains of their bondage and now walk free.

Goblin, Hobgoblin, and Orc: various subspecies born of the same strange fungal blooms (all of which possess the Goblin Spore Special Quality, above), sapient members of these races are rare in the extreme. That said, it is not completely unknown for an individual goblin, hobgoblin, or orc to “wake up”: becoming something significantly more complex than a mere weapon of genocide and extermination.

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UNIQUE RACES: Verdura, Fenris, the Chain of Tears, several moons, and even the wilds of Quelya are doubtlessly home to additional sapient species, still as yet undiscovered.

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SETTING

The setting is a single solar-system, Pyrespace, with several major & minor worlds.

WORLDS & NATIONS The Pyre: an incalculably vast stellar engine of incandescent plasma; small dark shapes — rumored to be ancient artifacts of the long-vanished Precursors — orbit the star tightly, flickering low across the endless ocean of flame (burning at an average of 6,000 degree Kelvin), diving through 13,000-mile-tall solar flares that routinely reach 10-20 million Kelvin (up to 100 million); these eerie & barely-visible shapes, whatever they may be, are utterly inaccessible to any modern space-vessel.

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Ashen: A storm-wracked world of dust & salt drifting upon an ocean of vacuum, covered in an inhospitable white desert slashed-through with low, jagged, slate-grey mountain ranges; this world hides strange ruins & wondrous treasures of the Precursors beneath its oceans of dust; it is considered strategically valuable both for its rare natural resources; dotted with Hin refineries, forts, border towns, resupply depots, and mining operations; home to strange native populations of kasatha, alongside clans of ifrit, oread, sylph, suli and undine (collectively known as the al’Zihad), who claim to have come to Ashen while bound in the service of the Precursors: inscrutable masters who once dwelt in a mysterious city trapped deep within the Celestial Pearl.

Ashen has two moons:

Anachtyr the Shining: A blinding-bright tempest-world of endless, boiling amythest-hued ocean studded with towering fumarole-vents dozens of miles in height; mighty coils of eye-searing azure lightning leap eternally between titanic these waterspouts, and the steam of this roaring planetoid can be seen drifting into the void: a haze that glitters like diamonds.

Lessinor the Masked: A world of heavy fog, dripping rust, creaking black tourmaline, and unending gloom, mantled in long shadows which writhe with ancient echoes and whispers, it is said that visibility on this planetoid has a maximum of 100 feet. Vast keeps, palaces, and even lightless cities of cyclopean gold-draped skeleons have been reported dotting the curious surface, but not one has ever been found a second time.

Approximately 10% of Ashen is actively subject to mining, exploitation, extraction and terraforming operations.

Major Cities of Ashen:

Acheron: a dug-in black-site military base / fortress-city / arcane research facility controlled by the Hin nation of Brandobaris

Core: a city-sized, semi-mobile mining and oil-rig facility controlled by the Hin nation of Arvoreen; a joint project with gnome & warforged diaspora from the Chain

Salt Lake: a religious-outreach community controlled by the Church of Yondalla, which seeks to convert the native al’Zihad to the worship of the goddess; this is by far the largest city on Ashen, and the central hub for all rail-travel on the planet.

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Verdura: a world of shallow oceans, towering mountain peaks, massive waterfalls, sprawling cave-systems, boiling mud-flats, impossible plateaus, icy ravines, echoing jungles, smoldering volcanos, bewildering river-systems, ancient lost ruins, and — above all — rainforest seemingly without end; home to an uncountable number of near-human species all-but-universally hostile to outsiders, many of whom are armed with ancient Precursor tech.

Hin rubber plantations, lumber mills, exotic “safari” hunting lodges, and industrial logging-facilities are therefore sprawling, heavily-militarized affairs

Although it boasts no truly massive cities, Verdura is host to the Hin colony of New Arvoreen, the center of Covington Farms – soon to be the breadbasket of the Pyrespace system – and a mountain-set Brandobarin research-station known as Thaumir. In addition, a small community of gnome diaspora have established the technological-marvel nation of Markovia, named for its Founder, Monarch and Supreme Leader, Dr. Adlai Markovitch (and his three nieces).

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The Three Moons of Verdura:

Tiamat: A darkly-glittering, iridescent jungle of venom and razor-sharp glass, a shimmering wilderness of fog-shrouded valleys, viridian mire, and steam-wreathed peaks laid beneath a sky of eternally wheeling stars. Home to many of the deadliest insects and reptiles in the system, this endless deep-emerald hell is yet rumored to contain that most fantastic of treasures: the legendary la fonte della giovinezza: a mystic source of endless youth and vitality, guarded by an ancient knight – Sir Azharul of the Thorns – devoted utterly to the service of Yondalla … and to the execution of all unworthy seekers.

Bahamut: A golden moon of shifting desert sand and sky-rending thunderstorms, of dark clouds howling over rain-spattered platinum dunes, this world is sacred to many of the reptilian monstrosities that lurk in the jungles of Verdura. Priests among these creatures claim that once, long ago, doorways opened from their sacrifice-sites to a huge city of bone, a fantastic place fed by the twin rivers Luar and Kath, ruled-over by a red-skinned, leviathan humanoid: a grotesque thing, serpent-like, with four eyes and four ears, that shot flames from its mouth when it spoke. No true evidence of this fabled city, said to lie “behind the east wind,” has yet been discovered.

Chronepsis: A small, silver-grey ice-moon, this airless and barren world is riddled with vast doorways, leading down into bone-white palaces of titanic, cyclopean design. What treasure might lie within these pleasure-halls is unknown, as few who have ventured beneath the surface have ever returned. It is sung, by the heretical faith of Dagon, that two great serpents lair here – named Null and Faluzure – and that these creatures know, between them, the fate of the dragons … and time of their return.

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Quelya: a world of archipelagos, reefs, marbled sand, dark cerulean waves, and tropical island chains boasting only a handful of sizable land masses, dominated by the Hin (halflings) and their servitor-race, humanity; the hungry, expansionist, colonial-minded nations of the Hin are united only by the rule of a massive corrupt Church and a single vast, hyper-complex monetary system; the planet boasts but a single continent — the Green Fields of Yondalla –  which are ruled-over by an ever-shifting array of Hin merchant-houses; in the furthest reaches of the world, shark skintwisters and locathah are rumored to bend the knee in loyalty to the strange and beautiful malenti, and to make horrid sacrifices to the coiling serpent Dagon.

HIN NATIONS / CITIES / HOLDINGS

Acheron: a Brandobarin military base / fortress-city / research base on Ashen

Arvoreen: an aggressive, militaristic nation noted for its perpetual war-footing, it maintains the finest navy in the system; the Arvorean Academy of War is famously egalitarian, admitting humans, half-elves, near-humans, and even warforged into its officer-training corps; national colors of red & gold.

Arvorean Male First Names: Alejandro, Fernando, Santiago, Antonio, Maceo, Francisco, Joaquin, Marco, Cristian, Javier, Rafael, Carlos

Arvorean Female First Names: Yamilet, Carmen, Valentina, Paloma, Lucia, Esmeralda, Alicia, Maria, Sofia, Luna, Catalina, Vida

Arvorean Last Names: García, Fernández, González, Rodríguez, López, Martínez, Sánchez, Pérez, Martín, Gómez, Ruiz, Hernández, Jiménez

Beshaba: The Hin holy city on the banks of the Rio Provendor (and its surrounding hills), most sacred site of Yondalla’s worship, currently self-ruled; the place where Gol-Kaa (the Last Human King of Beshaba) was slain by Saint Davian in single combat; national colors of white & sky blue.

Beshabite Male First Names: Dvir, Asaf, Asher, Elazar, Uriah, Reef, Aryah, Ofek, Yaheli, Arbel, Yinon, Idan

Beshabite Female First Names: Maayan, Danya, Liv, Shoshanna, Alean, Annael, Carmel, Eden, Avitel, Avia, Naama, Ofri

Beshabite Last Names: Ngaere, Zerbibi, Mishayev, Qablan, Magadla, Berdugo, Yayin, Sasi, Sharabani, Akiyva, Hagge, Siyvan, Tzviy

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Brandobaris: an elegant, cultured nation noted for its arts and refinement, it maintains the finest academies of learning – in alchemy, wizardry, engineering, medicine, mathematics, law, history, and space-flight – in the system; national colors bright yellow & light grey; home to the three bitterly warring institutes of higher learning:

Archives Timmestre-Falco: home of both the finest telescope array and most complete orrery in the system.

Sincomakti School of Sciences: known for the deep pockets of its alumni – for use in funding elaborate expeditions – and a particularly notorious library.

Universidad de Lepidottero: specialists in medicine, mathematics, and forensic investigation, on the cutting edge of xenobiology.

Brandobarin Male First Names: Luca, Filippo, Marco, Pietro, Giovanni, Nicolo, Davide, Diego, Giuseppe, Edoardo, Tommaso, Andreas , Cosimo, Lorenzo, Ottaviano

Brandobarin Female First Names: Chiara, Nicole, Ludovica, Gaia, Matilde, Vittoria, Francesca, Alessia, Camilla, Bianca, Arianna, Elena

Brandobarin Last Names: Rossi, Berlusconi, Ferrari, Brambilla, Ricci, Greco, Esposito, Marino, Bianchi, Morelli, D’Angelo, Piazza, Caputo

Chaldira: a massive mining-city on Fenris; although it is ostensibly self-ruled under the auspices of a gnomish coalition from the Chain of Tears, in practice the city bows to the “supervision” of a Brandobarin wizarding-circle. Core: a city-sized, semi-mobile mining and oil-rig facility on Ashen, controlled by the Arvorean armada; a joint project with gnome & warforged diaspora from the Chain. Cyrrollalee: former home of the last human king; an enormous, incredibly-fertile nation noted for its high population of humans (mostly farmers); rumors persist among the superstitious peasantry of “fairy circles” in the woods that lead to other realms; national colors of green & dark blue

Cyrrolaelan Male First Names: Odhran (Orin), Rory, Tadhg (Tag), Senan, Cathal (Kat-hal), Rodnan, Aodham (Aiden), Callum, Eion (Ow-en), Rian (Ree-an), Fionn (Finn), Cillian (Killian), Declan

Cyrrolaelan Female First Names: Aoife (ee-fa), Caoimhe (kwee-va or kee-va), Saoirse (seer-sha), Ciara (kay-ra), Niamh (neev), Roisin (ro-sheen), Cara (ca-ra), Clodagh (clo-da), Aine (on-yah), Aislinn (ash-lin), Alys, Avalon

Cyrrolaelan Last Names: Murchadha (Murphy), Ó Ceallaigh (Kelly), Ó Súilleabháin (O’Sullivan), Breathnach (Walsh), Ó Broin (Byrne), Ó Conchobhair (O’Conner), Ó Raghallaigh (O’Reilly), Ó Dubhghaill (O’Doyle), Mac Carthaigh (McCarthy), Ó Gallchobhair (Gallagher), Ó Cinnéide (Kennedy), Ó Muireadhaigh (Murray), Ó Cuinn (Quinn), Ó Mordha (Moore), Mac Lochlainn (McLoughlin)

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Dallah: a sin-soaked island city of gambling & revelry, part of the Tymoran island-chain; currently under self-rule; “national colors” of black & white Gixx: a floating city named for its watery host-moon, under Brandobarin control, orbiting the Crown of Sapphire Lagas: capital city of both Arvoreen and Brandobaris, existing along the border of both nations at the mouth of the Rio Provendor; a sacred city of the faith of Yondalla second only to the City & Lands of Beshaba

Important Sites in Lagas: The Rusted Sun Theatre, Parrish Place Bed & Breakfast, Café Molise, The Shuttered Door Academy

Important Hin residing in Lagas: Lord Mayor Emilio Dioceres, Archbishop Quirino Stephanos, Minister of Finance Alessio Villanova, Trade Minister Lazzaro Calistoga, Assistant Trade-Minister Dario Adalberto.

Moander: capital city of Cyrrollalee, built on the ruins of Dún Ailinne.

Mordheim: capital city of Urogolan, former home of “Uric, Last Human King of Urogolan”; this cold and half-tumbled fortress city, towering high above the treacherous stone of the Baía da Loucura, is choked in near-constant ice Perryroyal: massive island city at the far end of the Tymora island-chain that serves as the legendary “gateway to Xhiaae-La,” currently under the control of the Arvorean navy Salt Lake: a religious-outreach community on Ashen controlled by the Church of Yondalla, which seeks to convert the native al’Zihad to the worship of the goddess; this is by far the largest city on Ashen, and the central hub for all rail-travel on the planet Thaumir: a mountain-set Brandobarin research-station on Verdura Tymora: a particularly fertile chain of islands inhabited mostly by humans, currently ruled by the city of Dallah; the islands stretch from Lagas to Perryroyal.

Many traditional Tymoran names -- especailly those found in Dallah -- sound vaguely Greek to 21st-century human ears, but the islands are home to over 7,000 unique human cultures and no single list could possibly home to capure the length and breadth of the names used by Tymorans.

In addition, put bluntly, many people of the island chain simply do not think of themselves as “Tymoran,” but, rather, as members of a distinct culture under foreign occupation.

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Urogolan: grim, north-most Hin nation, noted for its vast mineral wealth, dense coniferous forests, fatalistic populace, and bleak weather; national colors of grey and black.

Urogalandic Male First Names: Ander, Hans, Johan, Ulf, Lars, Sven, Ivar, Leif (layf), Magnus, Ragnar, Sigurd (see-gurd), Herleif (her-leaf), Hjalmar (hyal-mahr), Njal (nj-al), Ødger (ed-ger), Roar (ruw-aar), Rune (ruw-n-eh), Sten (stehn), Trygve (trig-vah), Uhtred (oof-tred), gil (ee-yeh-gil), Einar (eye-nahr), Frey (fray), Geir (geyr), Gudbrand (good-brant), Gudmund (good-moond), Gunnar (guhn-nar), Hagen (hah-gen), Haldor (hahl-dawr), Halvar or Halvor (hahl-vahr), Jarl (yahr-al), Kåre (kehr), Aric (aar-ih-k), Arkyn (aar-khin), Brynjar (brin-yahr), Cuyler (kiel-ehr)

Urogalanadic Female First Names: Áma, Åse, Astra, Astrid, Borghild, Brynhild, Eir, Elli, Embla, Erica, Liva, Ragnfríðr, Revna, Rúna, Saga, Sigrid, Sif, Freya, Heidrun, Hildr, Hrefna, Hulda, Kara

Urogalandic Last Names: Any of the above Urogalandic male first names, with one of the following added to the end: sen, son, sson, søn, datter, dotter, or dottir

Xhiaae-La: legendary islands of gold & jade just beyond Tymora, source of human unarmed martial fighting techniques highly valued by Hin employers; currently under Brandobarin control

Xhiaae-Lan Male Names: Liang, Haoran, Zhen, Shufen, Ling, Lan, Kaihong, Taio, Shui, Qui, Jin, Chun, Ai, Bao

Xhiaae-Lan Female Names: Annchi, Baozhai, Changying, Chao-Xing, Chuntao, Da-Xia, Daiyu, Ehuang, Fenfang, Genji, Hu, Huian

Xhiaae-Lan Family Names: (spoken & written first) Shao, Long, Wàn, Zhāng, Qián, Tāng, Yǐn, Lí, Yì, Cháng, Wǔ, Qiáo, Lài, Gōng, Wén

Zuzadlara: an Arvorean military-base and floating “port city” on Perianth, established to assist Elven forces in maintaining peace across the system.

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Perianth: the elven home-world, a mist-wreathed, twilight-draped bioengineered “forest of prosperity” constructed by the Precursors via unknown means; the deep woodlands are said to hold terrifying gateways to other realms of existence; the courts of the elves are closed to outsiders, and non-elves are permitted access only to a vanishingly small number of sky-ports; the elves of both the Western Courts and Eastern Courts alike do a brisk trade in humans bought from the Hin, and some reports suggest that only 3% of the planetary population is actually elven.

Perianth is “ruled” by House Larethian, although the high throne of that House – that of the Phoenix Emperor (Western Court) or Moonlight Dragon (Eastern Court) – stands empty, as does the throne of his bride: Lolth, the Beautiful Eclipse (Western Court) or Lolth, the Crimson Empress (Eastern Court).

The favor of House Larethian is a currency traded by the other noble Houses; the Western Court name is given for each House first, followed by the Eastern Court name:

House Fleuris / House Kaika: painters, vintners, and rose-garden keepers.

House Sanglante / House Chimanire: the most-expert sword-smiths and sword-saints.

House Chanceux / House Kōun'na: Imperial record-keepers, known for their prodigious luck.

House Illustre / House Kagayakashī: the most beautiful and honorable house, known for their mastery of dance.

House Assombrir / House Kage-tsuki: the lowest of the noble houses, experts in medicine.

Perianth is not known to have any major cities, although each House maintains a number of holdings.

Western Court Male Names: Baillieu, Ménétries, Bachelot, Peletier, Bocuse, Marius, Théophile, Roland, Ancel, Thibaut, Sylvain, Médard, Chauve, Rémy, Maret

Western Court Female Names: Solène, Élisa, Émeline, Joséphine, Ameline, Neri, Mélanie, Coline, Émilienne, Iseult, Asselineau, Eulalie, Roxanne

Eastern Court Male Names: Hyotoki, Gatane, Yamitsu, Dainaga, Akihiko, Yori, Hideaki, Kazuhiro, Wantaro, Anoye, Gezushi, Sesuki, Teitada, Hiroaki, Noboru

Eastern Court Female Names: Haitsuke, Narino, Reinatsu, Maera, Benomi, Kohaku, Kayo, Miyako, Aya, Shizuka, Komina, Jionuye, Kakura, Amiri, Reiko, Yuki, Emi

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The Spider-Moon

The sole satellite of Perianth, a massive labyrinthine ruin to-which one third of the elves — the drow — were exiled long ago; the drow are no longer trapped beneath the surface of the Spider-Moon due to the hideous gifts of the illithid. This oversized nightmare realm is ruled by House Lolth and her loyalists: exiled members of all five noble Houses and their servants. This inhospitable world boasts only a single major trade-hub: the Dark City of Xogotha.

Any type of direct approach on the Spider Moon must find a way to navigate the tens of thousands of floating dead (and undead) – casualties of the Unseelie War – still drifting in orbit around the planetoid. For their part, the drow use this corpse-field as a blockade, employing necromancy to bypass the horror-show whenever necessary.

Drow names are identical to elven names.

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The Celestial Pearl: a mysterious planet-sized anomaly bearing what appears to be a perfectly smooth, bone-white surface: this ghostly pale sphere has no atmosphere and no magnetic field, no geographical features, no marks consistent with any meteoric impact, no evidence of historical habitation, a surface temperature of 3 Kelvin, and a core temperature zero Kelvin. The curious surface itself – which appears to be an impossibly-thin crystalline latticework of monomolecular razor-ribbons covered in a few drifting inches of ice-powder, white sand, ash, and stardust – cannot be landed-upon or even approached: weird, invisible, immovable “arches” — made of something harder than adamantium — protrude in a strange, coiling web of whorls into space, reaching up to 500 miles away from the surface.

Zionil: Largest space-station in the system, nearly a moon onto itself, this massive gnomish facility serves as an informal way-station -- a respected, nearly sacred neutral ground -- between the “inner worlds” of Ashen, Verdura, Quelya, and Perianth; and the “outer worlds”: the Crown of Sapphire and the Chain of Tears, Fenris, and Moradin’s Forge.

It also serves as the ultimate melting-pot of cultures across Pyrespace: here, humans dressed in fashionable gnomish top-hats & tails rub shoulders with dwarves travling to jobs on Ashen & half-orcs en route to Verdura.

Dominated by the enormous Cathedral of St. Deneir the Scribe and House of St. Mili, the Voice of Heaven, sprawling centers of worship for the Church of Yondalla, Zionil is also home to a huge Xhaaie-Lan population; the Lantan Shipyards are without a doubt the finest facilities in the system for the design & construction of Hin-built spelljamming vessels.

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The city is unofficially under the control of Baronet Giancarlo Lugocelli of Fenris, a devout human aristocrat admired across the system for his shrewd buisness accumen and unbridled civic spirit. 

This artificial moon also serves as home to The Thirteenth: an emergency garrison of specially-designed warforged kept in reserve to make a surgical-strike wherever the threat of Hive activity is detected outside the heavily quarantined moons of Segojan (Hive Colony Euclid), Baervan (Hive Colony Keter), Baravar (Hive Colony Thaumiel), and Urdlen (Hive Colony Apollyon); this force is led by Inquisitor Francesca DiAccursio of La Universidad de Lepidottero as part of a massive anti-xenos taskforce.

An increasing number of dwarves from Moradin’s Forge also now make a holy pilgrimage here to the Muamman Duathal: a library of dwarven law, history, technological innovation, achivement, literary scholarship, and art nearly the equal to the catacombs of lost Dugmaren.

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The Crown of Sapphire & the Chain of Tears: an enormous, shining, many-ringed cerulean gas-giant, host to a dozen moons (listed below) and the long trail of an asteroid belt which follows behind it; the Crown roars with low heat and mild radiation, serving as a “second sun” to the system. As to the means by which the Precursors performed this “stellar uplifting” and manipulated the interior of the Crown, it is impossible to say.

About 70% of the “chain” following behind the Crown was originally the home-world of the gnomes – once known as Kruug od Szlatta, or the ‘Circle of Gold’ – and their many miraculous inventions, which was shattered utterly as the result of a run-away hyper-energy reaction; big money can be made out here, sifting the clockwork wreckage and mining interplanetary debris for rarities; the finest technology in the known universe can be found here: powering the cities, foundries, refineries, sky-docks, casinos, space stations, laboratories, and bio-manufactora which float together in complex nets through the wild void.

Moons of the Sapphire Crown:

Garl: now the largest of the moons, a gem-studded planetoid home to a huge number of scattered mineral-mining operations, including Blistavo Zlatta: now the default capital-city of the gnome people, formerly known best as a decadent, lawless, off-world trade-hub town full of casinos, amusements, cunning illusions, and other cheap entertainments.

Gelth: second largest of the moons, a dark spheroid of endless seething lava-flats, smoldering radioactive pools, toxic black smoke, and jagged obsidian blades miles in height. Home to a small number of mining-colonies (which are outnumbered 10-1 by the destroyed remnants of exactly such facilities).

Callarduran: third largest of the moons, a place of icy-cold wind whistling through thousands of miles of smooth stone tunnels, home to the finest stone-crafting workshops in the system.

Flandal: a hot, near-barren planetoid rich in iron and a number of other valuable metals … but, very specifically, boasting neither water nor arable land. Successfully cleared of all Hive infection after the eradication of Hive Colony Nehemoth in 1463; classified as safe.

Gixx: a fog-shrouded shallow-sea water-world currently occupied by a floating Brandobarin city.

Segojan: a smog-shrouded death-world of fungus and alien monsters, home to Hive Colony Euclid.

Baervan: a lost moon, once a twilight forest-world, now home to Hive Colony Keter; also home to the mysterious, floating Library of the Eremite.

Baravar: a shadowy crystalline moon now home to Hive Colony Thaumiel.

Urdlen: home to nothing but an icy, red-tinged ocean that flows silently between towering black spires, this bleak world now plays host to Hive Colony Apollyon.

Gaerdal: a heavily fortified workshop-moon, now 99% destroyed; original “birthplace” of the warforged.

Nebelun: the still-smoldering remains of a desert laboratory-world, dotted with blackened pits connected by a vast webwork of now-shattered elevated railways.

Rupa u Beskonačnom (the Hole in the Infinite): although not a true moon, this small artificial wormhole drifts in orbit around the Crown of Sapphire, occasionally spiting-out weird horrible alien monsters: the nearby moons of Segojan (Hive Colony Euclid), Baervan (Hive Colony Keter), Baravar (Hive Colony Thaumiel), and Urdlen (Hive Colony Apollyon) are infected with a terrifying strain of bizarre alien life; the wormhole is currently orbited by a small armada of mysterious githyanki ships native to another solar system.

Major Cities of the Chain of Tears:

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Discord: The largest city adrift in the Chain is also the largest city system-wide; in terms of sheer population, only the holy city of Lagas on Quelya even comes close. Discord is a sprawling affair, composed of innumerable asteroids and earth-bergs lashed-together with sparking remnants from hundreds – if not thousands – of derelict and damaged SpellJamming vessels. Although the gnomish population of Discord is lightly smaller than that of Blistavo Zlatta, on Garl, gnomes and their warforged security units run much of the city: High Master Artificer Krenlin maintains strict order among the scoundrels, spacehands, and fortune-seekers … at least, in the neighborhoods capable of paying for his protection. The black markets of Discord’s underbelly are run by gangs of ysoki (ratfolk), dwarves, half-orcs, half-elves, more bizarre human-offshoots, locathah, kasatha, unique creatures from the wilds of Verdura and Fenris, and even drow. Significantly more uncommon are goblins, orcs, and ogres – ancient enemies of the dwarves – and Perianth-born elves; although Hin are occasionally spotted here, it’s incredibly rare to see one without an escort … such as a lumbering Church-sanctioned gargoyle or a heavily-armed mercenary crew.

Serenity: Known better by its inhabitants as ‘Scarcity,’ this ugly warren of trash and filth is – to those with the keen eyes to see it – a goldmine of opportunity. If the ysoki can lay claim to a home-world, this is it: the majority of the population here is ratfolk, and their laws guide the city … for good or for ill. Part of a dense asteroid-field known for dangerous gravitational eddies, the port of Serenity is a haven for pirates and criminals wanted in every other metropolis.

Linger: The last glorious remnants of the Circle of Gold are kept here, a city-sized museum dedicated to the memory of that devastated world, and to honoring the uncounted millions who perished in the flare of its destruction. It is a place of quiet luxury and high technology, where the very wealthiest of those who do business in Discord can pretend – if only for a few hours – that the Circle of Gold was never broken.

Gnomish Male Names: Andrija, Nikola, Luka, Marko, Aleksandr, Jovan, Nemanja, Matija, Miloje, Miroslav, Rodavan, Vlado, Zivko,

Gnomish Female Names: Aleksandra, Teodora, Jana, Katarina, Petra, Malina, Milena, Maja, Hana, Anja, Milica (miy-LIH-ts-a), Sara, Nina

Gnomish Last Names: Jovanović, Petrović, Nikolić, Marković, Đorđević, Stojanović, Ilić, Stanković, Pavlović, Milošević, Katić, Sinđelić, Nedić, Marić, Višnjić, Janjić, Sarić, Miličić, Milenić, Natalić, Zorić, Smiljić, Anđelić

Warforged Names: any; names of warforged are self-selected, are not derived from family, and may be drawn from any culture.

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Fenris: A frozen, rocky world of icebergs & fathomless oceans, mighty fjords, roaring hot springs, steaming river-valleys, shrieking tundra, rolling steppes, drifting ice-floes, frigid marshland, deep emerald forest, and seething volcanoes; it is “ruled-over” by a minority population of warring giants, who tear themselves fully-formed from the simmering ley-lines of the living planet; in their long shadow, bold survivors face the fierce wrath of endless winter; some clans scratch out a meager, subsistence-level hunter-gatherer existence, while others build great longhouses, fortresses, and onion-domed cathedrals of wood & stone, defying the giants; beneath the surface of the world, enchanted mechanical castles — home to slumbering vampire lords — wait in silence to be called-forth for the night-hunt.

Humans and half-orcs “native” to Fenris tend toward Cyrrolaelan and Urogalandic names, suggesting some truth to the legends of doorways in the deep woods leading between Quelya and Fenris.

The massive, smoldering, heavily-entrenched mining-city of Chaldira employs tens of thousands of workers, including innumerable indentured humans and near-humans imported from Quelya by the hundreds through the Church-sanctioned penal transportation program; most such workers are branded, upon arrival, to prevent their disappearance into the local human communities. Specialized squads of “workforce retention agents” operating under Brandobarin authority maintain an uneasy peace with nearby human enclaves … though both groups wisely fear the fury of giants, who on occasion choose to assault the veritable fortress of Chaldira seemingly out of pure malice.

Beyond humans, dwarves comprise the bulk of Chaldira’s employees; outright violence in the barracks between dwarves and their orc-blooded coworkers is frowned upon, punishable by both monetary fine and loss of privileges, but is still not uncommon. Gnomes, warforged, and even ratfolk form the Chain of Tears are also common sights, as are Hin mages and their gargoyle bodyguards, although the only thing rarer than a native of Verdura here is an elf.

For their own part, the native catfolk, kitsune, syrinx, and tengu give Chaldira a wide berth: the huge, heavily militarized mining-city has, for the most part, nothing to offer them.

Moons of Fenris

Bahgtru: A hot, dark, ash-swept landscape of dense black forests, broiling deserts, flinty badlands, murky rivers, and foreboding seas, all bearing the ravages of constant war waged beneath a coal-streaked and starless sky. A dozen or more major orc-blood nations vie for control of this resource-rich, twilight-lit world; the largest single military force – the Broken Skull Clan, led by a hulking creature called Moragrek – dominates less than 10% of the planetoid. In the deepest woodlands, orcs fly crude marrow-stained, gut-stitched banners above fallen towers still sparking with ancient Precursor-tech.

Ilneval: Floating mountains, coiling moebius-spiral waterfalls, serpentine valleys filled with boiling fog, forests of glass, a series of artificial rings, cities of broken fractal room-recursions, walking Precursor-tech “transport-facilities” the size of nations, and stranger landmarks dot this bizarre world. Worse still, the goblin-fungus of this moon has underdone a wild number of dangerous mutations, producing varieties of dangerous goblinoid entities unknown anywhere else in Pyrespace.

Luthic: A damp, echoing, rain-drenched world with a low-burning core, this windswept planetoid sees surprisingly few dangerous meteorological events – considering the near-constant cloud cover -- and features only very mild tectonic activity. As such, impossible caverns filled with warm mushroom forests abound, grazed-upon by bizarre, blind half-fungal elk. This world is by far the economically valuable of the Fenris-moons, a veritable goldmine for its Brandobarin investors; transportation to this moon is a sentence dreaded by every human living under the Church of Yondalla’s laws.

Obould: Miles upon miles of long-fallen ruins – twisting, elegant citadels of what appears to have been ancient elven construction – crisscross this rime-coated world, buried in miles upon miles of shattered ice; unfortunately, whatever strange process causes the planet Fenris to vomit-forth giants from its ley-lines is also active here: titans of frost wander the wastes, obedient to three mysterious warlords: the Shogun of Crimson Snowfall, the Shogun of the Endless Dark, and the Shogun of Winterblind.

Shargaas: High above the roiling toxic cloud-cover, cold mountain-peaks spill miles-long waterfalls from smoldering calderas; far below, falling ash and acidic sleet fall silently on the dark glass libraries of the Precursors. It is said that nothing moves here, in the realm of dead furnaces: a planetoid fallen to night. In the winding passages beneath the dormant facilities, however – the strange passages linking the long abandoned “colleges” of Hopelorn, Cold Fever, and the Citadel of Vanished Audience – somethingold and unclean can be heard clicking-away … hungry, and drawing ever closer.

Vaprak: Trolls are an infectious, predatory presence known across Pyrespace: Verdura, Tiamat, the forests of Cyrrollalee and Urogolan, the wooded isles of Tymora, the Crown-moon of Baervan, and upon most of the Fenris-moons & Forge-moons; in fact, it is believed (but not confirmed by the elves) that trolls may even be known in the wild places of Perianth. No place, however, can be said to have been conquered by the trolls like this horrid planetoid: an endless morass of sinking stonework and icy-cold swamp, a place of stench and the low whine of blood-mad insects.

Yurtrus: Miles below the Brandobarin military research-facility of Khin-Oin, a planet-sized city of war-ravaged, long-overgrown Precursor-tech glitters in the cold sunrise … while another neighborhood, connected by monorails that blur between districts faster than the speed of sound, shines like an ocean of light on the other side of nightfall. The city – nicknamed “Fleshslough” by the researchers who drift in orbit high above, perpetually examining the curious urban properties – is a vast thing of austere, ever-moving wonderment: whatever incurable, perversely-contagious disease hangs in the warm air reduces skin to boiling crimson horror in mere moments.

---

Moradin’s Forge: this hyper-dense, heavily volcanic planet is just over half the size of Quelya, yet it commands a significantly more massive gravity well. Although it boasts a minimal surface atmosphere, it serves as the home world of dwarves, goblins, ogres, hobgoblins, and orcs; it is also the staging-ground for an illithid invasion-force with control over a supermassive wormhole situated somewhere beyond the edge of the known solar system; illithid forces include any number of alien monstrosities (many mutated or bio-manipulated by the illithid) stolen from a hundred different systems, of which orcs are the newest prize; 80% of all dwarves system-wide live in bondage beneath the heel of the illithid.

A single rebel city, secret in the extreme, is hidden in the shadows of otherwise-absolute illithid dominance: Veil, last hope of the Forge.

Dwarven Male First Names: Hakk, Osrick, Drok, Brut, Muls, Grold, Urbrik, Aandrak, Buulrol, Kigrer, Fraysik, Korvin, Vog, Bellbaarg

Dwarven Female First Names: Yorgwyn, Urgwan, Rren, Inngva, Kledgeg, Lonnvull, Urrgvi, Kalbri, Khora, Sro, Ohlih, Hyylkis, Memrii

Dwarven Clan Names: Grandmaul, Stonehall, Winterstride, Thunderhand, Icevein, Wargold, Blackstone, Runelore, Heartstrong, Ironblaze, Steelfist, Greysky, Shieldhorn, Axetusk, Proudburn, Stormedge

A NOTE ON DWARVEN NAMING CUSTOMS

Dwarves are hardly a monoculture, and each dwarf has dealt with the loss of Moradin’s Forge in an intensely personal way. Some dwarves have taken to answering only to their Clan name (their first name forever, abandoned), while others refuse to speak their Clan name aloud until they stand once more in the re-taken hall of their ancestors; some dwarves have founded entirely new off-world lineages -- such as Clan Dustblade of Ashen -- and some have adopted themselves into existing bloodlines: Clan Malov, the “dwarven branch” of the Malovitch crime-family is, of course, the most famous of these.

Orc, Goblin, Ogre, Hobgoblin Names: Wurgoth, Gradba, Azuk, Speghat, Cagan, Wilaktug, Sbghat, Omegugh, Fogugh, Braugh, Oggugat, Yegoth, Oogorim, Vothug, Nildud, Golag, Bugharz, Zguk, Ombilge, Zudagog, Tothag, Sogg, Narfug, Ergoth, Xorag, Orpigig, Agronak, Orakh, Xulgug, Fudagog

image from here

Moons of the Forge AKA “The Morndinsamman”:

Abbathar: A shimmering world of vast iron pyrite slabs floating across a seething ocean of molten lead, shot-through with veins of plutonium. Extreme weather events triggered by mega-scale Precursor tech embedded at the moon’s poles – still barely understood, even in theory – routinely cause the surface temperature and atmospheric pressure to reach or exceed 4,000 degrees Kelvin and 18 gigapascals (2,610,680 pounds per square inch): converting portions of the atmosphere into solid, crystalline “red oxygen” while shattering the vast methane-plumes into sheets of pure diamond.

Berronar: A temperate world of steep valleys and winding natural cave systems, with a craggy mineral-rich surface marked by broad streams and small hardwood forests, this served for nearly seven centuries as the “second home” of the dwarven people, founded soon after first contact with gnomes from the Circle of Gold. The early loss of this quiet paradise-moon, along with the entirety of its population, to the illithid during their invasion was a brutal blow to the Clans of the Forge.

Clangeddin: A storm-wracked world of mighty fortresses and massive iron-foundries, this was the very last of Forge-moons to fall: its bleak surface is still marked with endless fields of the unburied war dead, broken banners, and mighty siege-engines half-buried in seas of ash. The endless lightning strikes are said to illuminate black rivers of goblin-fungus running between the most hallowed halls and treasure-filled tombs of the ancient dwarven kings: funerary-stone and pale gold circlets trod into the grey mud.

Duerra: In some ways, on certain battle-fronts, it can be said that the dwarven race yet stands: roaring in open, bloodthirsty, unrelenting defiance of the illithid and all their servants. On this inhospitable planetoid, a vast labyrinth of toxic metal-tainted pools, rusted razor wire, and dizzying mineshafts once used to extract silver, iron, gemstones, and titanium by the cubic ton, two rogue creations of the illithid – the duergar and the dark naga – wage endless war in the dark, focusing the psychic energies of their cold anger on killing anything that so much as looks at them sideways … and plotting, always, to escape the oubliette and shackle the universe as their slave.

Dugmaren: What was once the center of all dwarven scholarship – the eternal echoing repository of some thirty centuries of discovery, poetry, engineering, innovation, and invention, the epicenter of all history recorded by the Clans of the Forge, the memories of a people writ in rune – has been lost. None can say how many tomes and testaments were lost during the Battle of Dugmaren, put to the torch and the axe … nor how many of the great, austere library-moon’s sacred record-keepers were devoured by the rapacious illithid, their minds stolen to be used as horrid weapons against the living. For those who treasure the knowledge of ages, the fall of Dugmaren was perhaps the greatest loss of all.

Dumathoin: A lightless world, shrouded in constant slate-grey cloud-cover, riddled with dangerous – yet fantastically lucrative! – gemstone cave systems of seemingly limitless depth. In the many centuries of its exploration, it yet continues to reveal strange new secrets: some treacherous, some fantastic, all of them beautiful and curious in the extreme. Legends suggest that the winding passages here are truly limitless: that the halls curl back on themselves, leading to tunnels beneath the surface of the Forge, the Spider-Moon, the sands of Ashen, the tombs of Chronepsis, the vampire-castles of Fenris, and even the strange armor of the Celestial Pearl.

image from here

Gorm: A cruel planetoid, a howling nightmare of treacherous, winding obsidian passageways, covered in goblin-fungus and lit only by the low blood-red flickers of a hateful molten core, the Gauntlet of Gorm was once the final testing-ground of the greatest dwarven warriors and the finest dwarven armor: here, unstoppable heroes and unbreakable shields alike were forged. Fallen, now, to the illithid, the retaking of unassailable Gorm may yet represent the last, best hope of the dwarven people.

Haela: The imposing mountain peaks of this glimmering moon are carved with the likenesses of the great clan leaders, the eternal Kings and Queens of the Forge. Beneath their austere gaze, feuding clans have, for centuries, set aside their hate and their bloodthirst to settle generations-old grudges through honorable challenge: tests of skill-at-arms, bravery, strength, endurance, mettle, riddling, drinking, cunning, and even the gift of poetry. The halls here have fallen silent, picked-at now by lean, faceless nightmare predators: misshapen things born under unclean stars.

Laduguer: A hard world wrapped in chill grey mist, a moon of foul reputation and terrible whispers drifting on the winds beneath the stone. Under a steel-grey sky flickering with impossible darkness, bottomless pits sparkling with adamantine and black diamonds rend a jagged landscape of petrified Precursor tech: shattered alien weapons, armor, engines, towers, biological experiments, and massive shipwrecks of sea, star, and air, all transformed to iron. Vast, gaping holes in the surface – some miles across – open into mazeworks of silver and mithral, precious blood-onyx and fantastic skymetals, the tunnels lit by the twisting glimmer of an unwholesome and unnatural flame. The icy peaks of this foreboding moon are home to three long-abandoned dwarven strongholds: the Citadel of the White Rose, the Fortress Hammergrim, and the Throne Perilous.

Marthammor: A wild and far-wandering forest moon of geysers and thermal vents, known for its near-constant earthquakes, its towering native flora and fauna, its softly luminescent gemstones, it extreme and unpredictable weather, and – perhaps best of all – for its sprawling subterranean woodlands: vast, steaming caverns filled with trees adapted to survive seemingly without need of sunlight. Legends speak of doorways in the deep woods to other worlds, and ancient elven runes – some millennia old – can be found carved alongside incomprehensible alien glyphs on the many moss-covered marble pillars, stairs, ivory archways of long-fallen ruins.

Sharindlar: A dusky, crimson and rose-gold planetoid of impossible buttes, wide mesas, abundant hot springs, and huge naturally occurring stone “monuments” interlaced with warm shallow seas, all brushed with glittering, coral-pink sandbars, echoing grottos, and wide white beaches. The rare minerals and exotic plant life of this moon are said to possess a variety of astonishing medicinal properties, capable of restoring life, joy, and vitality to even the most crippled form. A massive temple – seemingly of dwarven construction, yet over 7,000 years old – rises from a golden hillside surrounded by circles of great standing-stones, marked by runes of indecipherable origin.

Thard Harr: Thought to be the ancient origin-point of goblin-fungus, the so-called Labyrinth of Life is home to terrible, primordial beasts seen nowhere else in Pyrespace. This bizarre, sweltering jungle world is stacked in “layers” of independently-floating, constantly shifting plateaus, all orbiting a single boiling ocean: the destination of all waterfalls and the source of constant warm mist and heavy rain. For reasons yet unknown, the maddening complexities of this moon are well-recorded in the oral histories of many monstrous species dwelling on Verdura, who claim to have walked star-paths to this place – for purposes of tending to a mysterious “Temple of the Deceiver / Serpent-Father” – in ancient days.

Vergadain: A small planetoid of gentle hills and clear lakes with a wide orbit, this moon was – for nearly seven centuries, since 1051 A.D. – the preferred meeting-ground to facilitate trade between the races of gnome and dwarf. In the wake of utter cataclysm befalling the shattered gnome home world (in 1492 A.D.), a number of wealthy and prominent gnomish merchant-families established permanent residence here at the heartfelt invitation of their friends among the Clans of the Forge; the casual annihilation of those families by the illithid at their outset of the invasion was a horrific shock to both races.

[bluejaytaco]

More DND with Jay

(long post is long)

(A session where Ticket Master; our chaotic god friend(?) transported us into another world where shit ain’t so bad. And our team actually works for BBEG. Also, he transported us while he himself fought BBEG. We’re trying to retrieve a sword for him.)

Alternate selves: (See us) who are you guys?

Art(panicking): We’re the improv group!

DM: Is that really what you’re going with?

Me: guess so....

Everyone else: (agreeing that Art’s panic induced call is the way to go)

-

Me: You know what? Imma try to seduce myself.

Koejin’s player: (gasp) yessss!

(low roll)

DM:.... Alright. So, Art goes up to himself and feels like they just had a moment, leans in to kiss himself and the other Art backs up and says “whoa whoa whoa. What the fuck are you doing? I mean, I’m pretty sure I can do better than me.”

Art: I mean.... fair...?

Koejin: Holy Shit, their Art’s an asshole!

DM: No, this is completely in character for both. Art hates himself.

Me, nodding: hardcore.

-

DM: So, after asking you guys all your jobs, the coordinator leads you all down the hall. He stops, turns to Art, and... kisses him on the cheek. It’s Ticket Master.

Art, exasperated: For fuck’s sake....

Ticket Master, grinning: Did I trick you?

Art: Yeah, you did.

Ticket Master: Well, now you guys have to put on that performance. Good luck! (vanishes)

Theodora, sick of his shit: So, how’s that fight going with Mrs. Red?!

DM: A piece of the ceiling breaks off and hits Theodora right in the head.

Theodora, unfazed: Oh, not good, eh?!

Art: ....fuck just... please don’t die...

-

(We ended up corrupting that world’s Hennessy, who then turned and attacked Ticket Master with the sword. That only opened the portal to our home on Ticket Master himself. Art gets thrown through when he tries to stop Eltbalm from attacking Red. Eltbalm then gets put in a “cube of holding” Alabaster’s been carrying and everyone else jumps through the portal after shouting for Good Mrs. Red to follow us to get Eltbalm back.

Before she can jump through the portal too, Mrs. Red gets her head cut off by a force we didn’t see and the portal closes. Our Mrs. Red is still pissed and still ready to kill us all.)

Ticket Master, freezing time to reappear right before Art gets fucked up: Alright, now if you want me to reverse time so you can save that clearly dead girl (gestures to Art’s sister laying on the ground) you need to give me my sword. After that, you never have to see me again.

Alabaster: (Standing tall and defiant)

Art: givehimtheswordgivehimtheswordgivehimtheswordgivehimthefuckingsword.

Theodora: Don’t do it, Alabaster...

Ticket Master: Look, I just want my damn sword. Give it to me and I’ll be on my way.

Art:.... Alabaster, please....

Alabaster: (Deep sigh and a pained look to Art) Here... (tosses the cube to Ticket Master.)

DM: Ticket Master pops the sword out of the cube and straps it to his back. With a quick snap of his fingers, everything is back to the way it was right before Mrs. Red burst into the cabin. Everything’s still frozen but Rieta is still alive and in one piece. He looks at all of you, tips his hat, and disappears.

(This is definitely something we won’t regret.... And I highly doubt the relationship between Art and Alabaster will be exploited in any way shape or form.)

-

Art, to General Green once he’s back: So.... sorry about my memories and all...

Green, possibly remembering the whole Ticket Master thing: (grunts)

(Later, he makes it verrrrry clear he has no faith or trust in Art. He blatantly states this to Alabaster.)

Me, singing: Nobody trusts Art, nobody trusts Art.

Alabaster’s Player: Except Alabaster, who met Art before anyone else and immediately imprinted on him like a baby duck.

Me: lol true.

-

(Art gets into a little fight with Ticket Master and pretty much sleeps with the first woman who shows interest; a bartender in the tavern owned by our leader.)

DM: So, Art; as you’re having sex with Shia, her eyes go pitch black and start oozing. She then starts to attack you. What do you do?

Me: ....uhhh, scream. Loudly and a lot.

Everyone else: (rolls to see if they can hear Art.)

Theodora: Did you hear that? Sounded like Art.

Koejin: How do you know it’s him just by a scream?

Theodora: How do you not? All Art does is scream.

Me: Hah, yeah....

-

DM: Everyone bursts into the room to see Art in a corner just screaming “dude, dude, dude, dude!” Shia is pissed off and points at him, then yells out “You will never get answers out of me!” Just before she attacks him, the wall breaks down and Rieta comes bursting through. The two of them starts to fight and break through to the outside. They make their way down the hole where the giant worm popped out before.

Everyone:.....

Theodora:.... What just happened?

Art:.... I am never having sex ever again...

-

(Hennessy runs downstairs in a faux panic to get everyone out of the bar.)

Thia: What’s going on?! What do you mean we’re under attack?!

Hennessy: Oh, it’s nothing. It’s just your employee turned out to be evil. You really should do a proper background check!

Art, coming down the stairs: Yeah, sorry. I think I turned your bartender evil...

Thia, eyeing Art: It’s okay. Would you mind putting on some pants?

Art, forgetting he was naked: Shit, right. (runs back upstairs)

-

DM: Did no one check on the tiefling boy? (His name is also Art.)

Me: Yeah, I’m gonna check on Little Art after I put on pants.

DM: Okay, so Art gets dressed and sees the boy sitting on the bed in the other room. He looks at Art and says “What happened? Where’d Mom go?”

Art:... Um, your mom went to take care of something. I’m also gonna go take care of something. We’ll be back soon, okay? You stay here and stay safe.

DM: The boy nods and settles back into the bed as you leave.

Alabaster’s player: so wait, this is Art’s...?

Me: Nephew, yeah.

Alabaster’s Player: Awww, Uncle A!

-

(Running gag in our campaign: If we roll really high on analyzing something that doesn’t need that much detail, the DM will overdo it. By like a lot. It’s most common when rolling on a door to make sure we’re not stepping into a trap.)

DM: So, you analyze the door and notice the knob is made of a beautiful brass. (goes on and on and on about the doorknob.) oh, also, the rest of the door is made up of gnome skulls...

Me: Feel like the gnome skulls were more important than the doorknob.

DM: fuck you.

In game:

Art, the one who checked this door:....um (looks at Wreybar; the gnome barbarian).... maybe they’re human... baby skulls? (DM: Roll deception on...yourself??)

Koejin: How is that any better?!

- 

(Party is in the dungeon. Alabaster could not join us for this particular session. We find a gnome who is a part of Wreybar’s backstory. His name is Hector. He is being pulled around by air elementals.)

Me: Can I try to grab Hector before they can drag him back to the barrels?

DM: Roll for it (Cue shitty roll) So, Art tries to grab Hector but then trips over a rock and falls flat on his face.

Hennessy: Air elementals are always trying to get something and don’t stop until they have it.

Wreybar and Art(In unison): Looks like they’re trying to get a Hector (Both gasp and look at each other) Eyyyyyyyy! (finger guns)

Me: Wreybar and Art are having a moment

Wreybar’s player: (laughs)

-

Koejin:(Having dealt with air elementals before) So, we need to get all the oxygen out of the room. 

Hennessy: (eyes the barrels of gun powder in the corner) I have an idea. (makes a copy of Hector for the elementals as Theodora grabs the real Hector. Everyone runs for the door we came through and Hennessy throws a fireball at the door then slams it shut.)

DM: Remember, the door is made of brittle bones.

Theodora: I put up my shield for everyone to hide behind.

DM: So, the flames bellow around the shield. Art, you stick your head up and come back down a second later.

Art: (the only one who’s fireproof) Yep, that’s fire!

-

DM: (going on and on about the next door and the history of its wood and the doorknob, which had a dent in it from a kid who was then verbally abused by his mother and grew up to be an accountant. It took five minutes to explain.)

Koejin, fascinated by the door she checked: wow... this door has some history...

Art: Huh, there’s a dent in the knob. Wonder where that came from...

Koejin: Well, let me tell you! (retells the story to an awestruck Art)

-

DM: So, at the end of one hall, you all see a body slumped against the wall wearing armor and holding a sword.

Theodora: I call out to the person.

DM: There’s no response.

Me: Okay, I want to investigate the body.

DM: How close are you getting?

Me: Uhhh.... like... ten feet? I don’t want to get too close.

DM: Okay, so you move closer and check it out to see that he is very dead.

Me: Okay, I’m going for the sword and armor. (Rolls a decent Slight of Hand)

DM: So, you go to pry the sword out of the hand and it just opens for you. Then, you go for the armor and his head pops up. His eye sockets look into your eyes and he says “oi! What you think you’re doing?!” He’s undead.

Art: (Still holding the guy by the armor) Oh.... uhhhh. Just... taking your stuff...

Undead guy: Like Hell you are! (DM: He goes to headbutt you and (Rolls)...dammit! His head falls off!)

Art: (watches the head roll away) Yeah, I’m taking it.

Undead guy: Oi! Stop it! (DM: He prepares to punch you in the face and (rolls) Fuck! His arm falls off!!)

(A series of failures later)

Koejin: (to Theodora) Can we keep him?

(His name is Skelly and he wants to kill gnomes. Hector in particular. But it’s okay; Hector’s a douche who’s trying to kill Wreybar. We promised him Hector and a world of adventure if he helps us... Our DM gave us actual NPC children and our party adopted a skeleton named Skelly who wants to go on adventures because he’s never seen anything other than that hallway.)

-

DM: It’s getting late. Do you guys wanna keep playing? I could wrap it up here with a cliffhanger.

Koejin’s player: Yeah, might as well. If we keep going, Alabaster might end up a little too lost. We’ve already got a lot to explain.

DM: Okay so, Theodora. You open the door to the room with the void. Inside, you see a floating map and a key. But you also see something else. A portal you’ve seen many times before. You know by sight, it’s a Ticket Master portal. But the person who steps through is wearing a wizard hat. You see it’s Hennessy from the alternate universe. His eyes are blacked over.

Hennessy B: (smile) Hello... friends.

DM: From the portal, you can see hands. It’s all of your hands and they are pulling themselves through.

Theodora: uuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..... (roll credits)

Hennessy’s player: seems like things are coming back to bite us.

Koejin’s player: huh.... it’s almost like our actions have consequences...

[scrubsandarmchairs]

Basic Information

Full Name: Theodora Grace Altman

Nickname(s): Teddy (primarily), Teddy Bear, Theo (only by her med school soccer team)

Age: 33

Date of Birth: October 15th 1986

Hometown: Portland, Oregon

Current Location: Seattle, Washington

Ethnicity: Caucasian

Nationality: American

Gender: Cis Female

Pronouns: She/her

Orientation: Bisexual, Biromantic

Religion: Atheist

Political Affiliation: Left-wing, Democrat

Occupation: Head of Cardio Thoracic Surgery at SGMW

Living Arrangements: Two bedroom apartment in downtown Seattle

Language(s) Spoken: English, German

Accent: American

Physical Appearance

Face Claim: Melissa Benoist

Hair Color: Blonde

Eye Color: Eyes

Height: 5′8

Weight: 120 pounds

Build: Slim

Tattoos: (x) between her shoulder blades to remind her of camping in Portland, (x) on the inside of her right ankle - she got it with Allison when they moved to New York, she had the matching bow

Piercings: Double lobes, nose (closed), helix (closed)

Clothing Style: Scrubs. Skinny jeans with tucked in shirts. Grey leggings and loose jumpers. Combat boots or flat leather knee highs. Hair pulled back, sometimes intricately. Dark blues, deep reds, forest greens

Usual Expression: A little stern, but when she’s happy her smile is big

Distinguishing Characteristics: Legs

Health

Physical Ailments: None

Neurological Conditions: None

Allergies: None

Sleeping Habits: Can usually fight her tiredness with caffeine and can never get a deep sleep in on call rooms, but at home she likes to curl up and hog the sheets

Eating Habits: Misses breakfast all the time which means she always tries to get lunch and always eats dinner - even if it’s a late one

Exercise Habits: Likes to run in the morning to wake up, tried yoga but hated it

Emotional Stability: 7 - she stays calm most of the time, particularly in high stress situations, but can get a little neurotic if she thinks somebody she cares about is hurt

Sociability: She likes to have friends, can be a little closed off to protect herself, but when she has friends she likes to be around them more than being on her own

Body Temperature: Cold, she loves to wrap up in blankets and cardigans

Addictions: None

Drug Use: None

Alcohol Use: Frequent

Personality

Label: G. I. Jane

Positive Traits:  Determined, Loyal, Independent, Intelligent

Negative Traits: Impulsive, Stubborn, Inflexible

Fears: Losing people she loves

Hobbies: Hiking, Reading, Baking

Habits: Taps her foot, bites her lip

Favourites

Weather: Snow

Colour: Green

Music: Punk Rock

Movies: Thriller

Sport: Soccer

Beverage: Red wine

Food: Beef burger

Animal: Bears

Family

Father: Mitchell “Mitch” Altman, died age 55. Played drum in a local band, Faulty Anchors, and took on odd jobs when that didn’t pay the bills. Teddy was extremely close to her father, after Roslyn died and her mom left they only had each other. He was incredibly proud of her and she was devastated by his death for a long time. She still misses him.

Mother: Ruth Greene (formerly Altman), 59. She was a history teacher in Portland before moving to California and becoming a homemaker. Teddy has fond memories of her mother which have long been ruined by her leaving and voluntarily giving up custody. She doesn’t talk to her and largely ignores the few attempts that the older woman makes. It only ever hurts them both.

Sibling(s): Roslyn Jane Altman, died at 15. The two were as thick as thieves, each other’s best friend, so Teddy was devastated when her older sister’s heart rejected and has never gotten over the fear that her best friends will leave her like Ros did. Has two younger maternal half brothers that she doesn’t know and doesn’t care to.

Children: None

Pet(s): A low maintenance goldfish but desperately wants a dog

Family’s Financial Status: Now wealthy due to her position as head of cardio at SGMW but grew up broke due to medical bills, legal bills and her dad’s lack of ‘grown up’ job

Extra

Zodiac Sign: Libra

MBTI: ESFJ

Enneagram: The Achiever (Type 3)

Hogwarts House: Gryffindor

Moral Alignment: Chaotic Good

Primary Vice: Pride

Primary Virtue: Diligence

Element: Air

[house-steiner-stays-winning]

"All is well," she says. "And it is good to see you up and about again, Karrie."

With a click, Theodora advances the slides, now displaying a graphic of committed coalition troops, as well as arrows and annotations indicating a plan of attack, all displayed on the same tactical map overlay as before.

"As you can see, once a path through the minefield is cleared, the first wave will move up through the hole that the MCLC launchers create."

The tank illustrates the plan as Theodora speaks, glowing troops coming out to meet the Coalition forces as they advance.

"While we engage the enemy forces, likely including the Omega, elements of the Second Canopian Fusiliers will engage the enemy from the drop, starting from the DropPort on the far side of the facility, now largely unguarded from the air thanks to the near-destruction of the Purifying Light unit that would guard it in the initial air engagements near Coen City."

The diagram shows a new unit appearing in the scene, engaging the DropPort forces and then moving to attack the Blakist elements from the rear.

"Once resistance at the DropPort is dealt with, the Canopians will move in from the rear, catching the blakist forces and breaking them against the anvil of the Coalition assault. Once the zone is secure, we'll begin landing SLDF troops for cleanup and reinforcement operations. " Theodora looks around, before nodding severely.

"That's the briefing. I'll now turn it over to Spirit for any additional remarks and field any questions from the personnel here."

@jaded-falcon

Fresh Orders, Round Table

The weather, it seemed, was turning towards rain. At least for the moment. For why, there were a dozen reasons. Localized weather instability. Atmospheric adjustment through aggressive particulate dispersal in the form of weapons fire and detonating mechs, and burning cities. Blakist mad science, once more bending what they should NEVER be touching to their whims...and inevitably failing, as they always did. Or it might just be the planets weather. Terra was not so different, he had heard. Even Unity City itself occasionally had short bouts of rain in the midst of their summers, showers that lasted a few hours or a day before weeks of bright sun would return. Sealth prefered the rain; being in dry air for too long made his skin irritated, and if bad enough, start to crack. It was painful, annoying, and had a frustrating tendency to get infected. He would prefer humidity and damp to direct sun, if he had choice... With luck, the new orders for the next operation wouldn't take him too far from the weather. The Totem Warrior strode through the SLDFs encampment, avoiding clumps of techs and soldiers of all stripes ensuring that everything was as it should be. No slacking here. Not under the Commander's watch, that was for sure. As it should be. He hadn't come alone; in addition to the small camera hung on his cooling vest to allow Tolki to listen in without having to leave his tank inside their Mech, he was followed by Sergeant Theodore "Tedd" Clarke, a hardened, sun-kissed man in a more rugged, almost cobbled together cooling vest, older but no less functional. The large wide-brimmed hat he wore at a casual angle would hint heavily where he had come from originally. Despite its technically lack of existence at this point, the Sergeant still bore the flag of the Calderon Protectorate, under the flag of the SLDF. He was part of Task Force Hawk, part of the infantry unit assigned, here to listen in for the ground troops that would be backing the Blackwatch for the strike. Sealth found the Commander's tent, and ducked in, glancing around inside before letting the other two in behind him. "We may be a little early." @is-the-battlemech-cool-or-not

[scmethingwiicked-blog]

( KATIE MCGRATH, 27, SHE/HER)┊seems like ADORA OZMAN has left the isle to come over to auradon. they are the child of THEODORA and have TWO BROTHERS. i’ve heard they’re known to be CHARMING + MALICIOUS. rumor has it they HAVE NOT teamed up with the villains. maybe we should keep an eye on this one. ( artemis/21/she/her/central/-5 hrs)

ABOUT

adora is rather indifferent about most people she comes across , not caring whether they live or die . which honestly , is better for the rest of the population . because if she hates someone , she will take time out of her day just to make theirs worse .

she owns a shop in auradon , in building 666 , where she sells various potions and magical artifacts to the people she likes and where she hexes the people that come in that she doesn’t .

as her mother before her , adora has an allergy to water . even just a drop will burn her skin . while it doesn’t leave a permanent scar , it takes weeks to heal and she avoids it as much as possible .

she is her mother’s favorite . as the only girl and the spitting image of her mother , she was favored since her birth . adora was the first to get anything in the family , the first to be taught about her powers , and the first to learn the story about her mother’s fall . as a result , she has a stronger bond with her mother than she does with her siblings and will always place her above anyone else .

as the only girl in the family , adora has stronger powers than her two brothers as her mother said that female witches were naturally stronger than male witches . something she doesn’t hesitate to lord over her siblings every chance she can . she has not yet discovered the full extent of her abilities but you can find a few of them below :        the ability to conjure or materialize any object she desires out of thin air        she is able to make objects and people move with her mind ; typically this is used for when she's lazy and doesn't want to get up but her shop's a mess        she has the power to create and manipulate the four elements at will , though she has a slight preference for fire because aesthetic        the ability to levitate herself above the ground and fly in the air

she was sought after to join the villain’s cause when they were freed , but as she’s not a team player , she passed . ( she also kind of wants to see both sides go up flames when the ‘war’ starts and she can’t very well do that if she’s helping out . )

her appearance is rather important to her , as she knows better than most that people care more about the outside and she leans heavily into the witchy-themes whenever she can . but you will not ever find her in one of those godawful pointed hats .

it’s very hard to tell when she’s joking and when she’s being serious because she has the same face every time .

don’t mention oz (either of them ) or dorothy or any part of the other witches or you will get hexed . jokes about witches aren’t funny , and neither are the stereotypes . thank you for coming to her ted-talk .

let’s be honest for a minute . she’s beautiful . she knows this , and she will not hesitate for even a millisecond to use her looks to get what she wants . this will result in flirting , but don’t expect it to last long . once she gets what she wants , call her elsa because she’s an ice queen .

call it a bad choice , but she does enjoy changing her form when she’s bad . her favorite shape is a dragon , because flying + fire = a happy little pyromaniac .

DESIRED CONNECTIONS

[ under construction ]

we’ll be adding these later . but i’m tired atm .

[witchesoz]

Oz Lore: The Great and Powerful (1)

« Oz : The Great and Powerful » is a 2013 fantasy movie part of the Oz universe. And when it comes to the Ozian lore, it is a mess.

You see, this movie was Disney’s attempt at remaking/restarting the heritage of the MGM Wizard of Oz movie, by creating its prequel explaining how the Wizard came to Oz (a green-skinned wicked witch, Glinda travelling in bubbles, that’s all the MGM). However, Disney actually did not had the rights to the MGM movie and thus had to twist things to avoid a lawsuit (with things such as the wicked witch being of a different shade of green than the one used in the MGM movie, or Glinda becoming blond instead of a red-hair). As a result, the movie presented itself officially as a “prequel to the original books” and took inspiration from it (the China Town for example), but this inspiration is sporadic and a thinly-hidden attempt at escaping lawsuits, since the movie is heavily if not almost entirely based on the MGM product.

Anyway, despite all of that, the movie became very famous and unfamous, popularizing a lot of concepts and ideas – especially towards younger generations unaware of the other MGM-related works such as “Return to Oz” or “Wicked”. So let’s dig into this lore, shall we? I’ll divide it into two sections.

Oh yeah, and there will be bits of review-like stuff here and there, because why not throw a review at the same time?

WARNING SPOILERS AHEAD

I) The Witches

It is not just because the witches of Oz are my favorite part of any lore. This movie relies heavily on the Ozian witches. They are key players to the story, and the movie’s plot is about how they came to be who they were in the MGM movie – we mean novel – we mean neither because ultimately the movie actually doesn’t add up to either the book or the MGM canon, putting it in its own unique chronology that never went anywhere since no sequels were made.

Witches in this movie are… unexplained. We know they exist in Oz, but we actually do not know anything about what they truly are. It is unclear if they are a different species from humans, or if they are humans with magical gifts, but one thing is sure: they are very different from ordinary people. All of them occupy high positions in the Ozian hierarchy. Theodora comments strongly imply that people are naturally afraid of witches (she says that, due to her being a witch, no one ever gave her genuine gifts, wooed her or offered her to dance, making her insanely lonely) – however this is contradicted by Glinda’s subjects behavior, who gladly offer her gifts and are very close and friendly with her, visibly not bothered by her being a witch. So this is up to debate.

We can however establish several common points of witches. All of them are females with magical powers. All of them are tied to a certain element, as which their magic will manifest. All witches have the natural ability to “fly”, that is to say levitate into the air. And each of the witches has a gem with her, that is the source of all of her powers, and breaking it means defeating her. Oh yes, and all their names end in -a. Now, we have three witches in total in Oz:

# Evanora

Evanora is the witch that pretends to be the good witch, but is the wicked one.

Evanora was the Royal Advisor of the previous King of Oz. She was also, unknown to him and to everyone else, a wicked witch. Her presence however was visibly felt already in Oz, since the King (who was also a wizard) made a prophecy: one day, a powerful wizard bearing the name Oz would come from the sky to save the country from the evil and darkness infecting it. However, he died soon after this prophecy. Evanora had poisoned him – and she tricked everyone into believing that the King’s daughter, Glinda princess of Oz, was the murderer of her own father. She banished her from the Emerald City, and publicly made it known that she was the Wicked Witch who caused all sorts of evil deeds across Oz. Except that all these evil deeds were actually done by Evanora herself. She held on the throne of Oz as a “regent”, until the arrival of the Wizard per the prophecy, and thus secured her power as the unofficial ruler of Oz. When the so-called Wizard actually arrived, Evanora immediately knew that he was a fake, just a greedy impostor, but she used it to her advantage, playing along with his lies and forcing him into killing the “wicked witch” by breaking her wand. Thus, she could have gotten rid of Glinda, her enemy, for good. This is actually very interesting here – because later Glinda explains that the “good citizens of Oz” are forbidden from killing anybody, and Glinda herself doesn’t want to kill Evanora for her actions. So visibly, death sentences are not existing in Oz – and so, for Evanora to explain to the Wizard that killing the Wicked Witch is the only way clearly reveals her wickedness.

Evanora, despite being the oldest evil in the room, with a lot of experience, is actually not the most ferocious person. She is a liar and a manipulator who tricked everyone into believing she was the “good one”, including her own sister. She also is shown to never do dirty works directly. She always arrange for other people, her agents or her armies, to kill or attack people for her, and rarely gets into direct fights, except when she is sure to win or cornered. In fact, when she is certain she has no way to win a battle, she cowers and flees before the threats. Evanora also has an obsession with eliminating Glinda – and it is not just because she is the only force of good left and the legitimate heir to the throne. Evanora takes a great delight into publicly torturing Glinda, and she makes several time comments about Glinda’s “pretty face” and how she hates or curses it. I will get back on that later.

Evanora’s gem/power source is an emerald necklace/amulet. Her magic, when raw, takes the shape of green electricity. Outside of her ability to fly, common to all witches, her other powers rely on magical items: she has a red powder that she can use to craft items magically, and a huge crystal ball she can use to spy on anyone in Oz. She has directly under her commands an army of flying baboons (savage and evil versions of the flying monkeys, massive angry baboons with bat wings), and an ensemble of “Winkie guards” (I’ll talk about them later). Note that all of these items of her powers actually belong to the Wicked Witch of the West in the MGM movie. Evanora ends up defeated when Glinda breaks her amulet, which not only deprives her of all powers, but also “removes” an enchantment she cast upon herself. You see, in the MGM movie they explain that “only wicked witches are ugly”. And the rule seems to carry on in this movie – when a witch turns wicked, she becomes ugly. More specifically, the glamorous and beautiful Evanora is actually in truth an old, hunchbacked crone with long grey hair, rotten teeth, a hooked nose and chin, as well as warts (a typical “hag witch” so to speak). Considering this, and how she is visibly displeased by her sister’s wicked “hideousness”, it becomes clear that Evanora’s obsession with Glinda’s “pretty face” is tied to a strong vanity and envy. She clearly resents her for being beautiful and pure, where she is ugly and corrupt.

And here is the ultimate key to understand the character of Evanora – she is actually a Disney witch more than anything. The obsessive vanity dates back to the Evil Queen of Snow White, and her transformation into an old crone also reminds one of this movie – let’s not forget how she uses literally an enchanted apple, like the Evil Queen. On the other side, the use of green electricity reminds of another extremely vain Disney witch: Winnifred Sanderson. And of course, the use of electricity, green color and the flowing dress also reminds one of Maleficent. As a result Evanora, while a great villain, is fundamentally a Disney villain, and the biggest mark of Disney’s attempt at owning the franchise.

In the end, Evanora becomes who would later be known as the “Wicked Witch of the East”, using two of her surviving flying baboons to fly away. It is unknown how she came to conquer the East – in fact, this movie makes no mention of either silver shoes or ruby slippers. But, many have theorized that Theodora possibly helped her sister regain power – since Theodora’s gem is a ruby, and in the MGM continuity the magic shoes are made of ruby…

# Glinda

Glinda the Good. She is clearly based on the MGM movie character, but she is also mixed up with the novel character (for example, she is here Witch of the South, and not Witch of the North). But just like in the MGM movie, she turns out to be the only Good Witch in all of Oz.

Daughter of the previous king-wizard of Oz, she was falsely accused by the treacherous Evanora of poisoning her father, and banished from the Emerald City, publicly denounced as the “Wicked Witch” whose minions caused horrors in Oz. However, Glinda managed to build herself a small kingdom in the South, welcoming people who fled from the disasters of the Wicked Witch, and revealing to them the truth and who the real enemy was. She later is the one who helps the Wizard fulfill his destiny – though he first tried to kill her. Oh yeah and they also kind of fall in love together.

Glinda’s gem is a diamond, located in her silver wand she carries everywhere. Evanora claims that breaking Glinda’s wand would kill her, however it seemingly was a lie, since breaking Evanora’s gem merely deprived her of her powers. Glinda’s powers are associated with the color white and the rainbow. It seems she has a control over either water or air, it is slightly unclear: she uses her powers under two forms. One, as a white fog, to blind enemy or conceal objects. Two, as bubbles – she can create individual bubbles for transportation, and she created a giant bubble dome to protect her kingdom, a magic wall that only lets good-hearted people pass through. To make matters even more confusing, her raw magic actually looks like light, either light glow or light rays. Not just a simple light, but a light that, while mostly white, has some colors of the rainbow in it – in fact its other magic (the fog and bubbles) are also iridescent. This is a nice touch, a nod to how diamonds and prisms can fracture the white light into a rainbow. She also has the ability to fly like all other witches – usually she surrounds herself with a bubble to do it, but she admits it is “just for show” and she doesn’t truly need it.

Glinda is kind, good, moral, charitable, gentle, etc… but she is also a clever girl (well, most of the time). Glinda especially believes in abstract and spiritual concepts, instead of material ones. What I mean is that, for example she keeps repeating that her father might have died, but his spirit and his ideals will live on through his people and those that fight for them. In a similar way, she immediately realizes that the Wizard is not actually a true wizard, but she explains that what the people of Oz need is actually someone to believe to and someone to guide them – the real magic power isn’t important, the most important is the power people put in you.

# Theodora

Theodora is without a doubt the missed character in this story. It is no spoiler now, but she is the origin story of the Wicked Witch of the West. And yeah, she is a cliché becoming-a-villain character, very unconvincing and unimpressive compared to the original (in fact Evanora left me more of an impression than her). As Theodora she had at least something interest, but all her becoming wicked is… not interesting at all. At least for me.

So let’s dig in, shall we? Theodora is actually a good witch at the beginning of the movie. She calls herself Theodora the Good and has been fooled by Evanora into believing her sister (which she loves deeply) is the good witch protecting Oz, while Glinda is the Wicked Witch. Note that Theodora visibly knew Glinda beforehand, and in fact Evanora and Theodora have an interesting discussion – Evanora accuses Theodora of “finally” having joined side with Glinda, implying that they were friends or close before, to which Theodora answers that she is on “no one’s side” and her only wish is to bring peace to Oz. In a similar way, when Evanora shows Theodora that the Wizard is not killing Glinda, Theodora is delighted, believing that the Wizard is “brining her back to the light and the goodness”. All throughout the movie, Evanora plays with her sister’s emotions to manipulate her, playing with her naiveté to make herself look good, playing on her jealousy and wrath to make the Wizard look bad... The typical textbook of an abusing older sister. Evanora especially likes to remind Theodora that “deep down” she is wicked, and only pretending to be good, which always enrages her.

Theodora is actually an interesting character when you look at her. She explains to the Wizard that she is extremely lonely, because being a witch, no one ever gave her a gift of their own free will, and no one ever asked her to dance. She also immediately believes that the Wizard is the one foretold in the prophecy. The Wizard uses her extreme naiveté by seducing her, and in his flirty words, Theodora believes that he promised to make her Queen of Oz, aka his wife. This all actually is what put the Wizard in his uncomfortable situation in the first place. We also see that Theodora, despite being a sweet and timid girl, has actually a “temper” – when Evanore makes a disagreeable comment, she gets very angry and momentarily loses control of her destructive powers, something she visibly is ashamed of (and in general, Theodora was the one using the less her magic out of the three). Later, Evanora plays on her emotions: not only does she invent a fake story about the Wizard seducing her and promising her to be Queen, to spark Theodora’s jealousy, but she also shows Theodora the real romance that is budding between the Wizard and Glinda. Theodora is heartbroken, making her cry – and her tears burn her face (I’ll come back to that later), which makes her suffer a lot, but she only considers it as a deserving punishment for how much of a fool she is. She is so overwhelmed with sadness and hate (mixed with the pain of her own tears) that she succumbs to Evanora’s proposition: to bite into an enchanted apple in order to stop her heartache (and thus the painful emotions she feels), and in exchange share the throne of Oz with her sister, banishing the Wizard and Glinda together (Theodora still believes then Evanora is a good witch, but she simply will not let Glinda become the Wizard’s Queen for anything in the world).

Now, I’ll stop there to actually point out something: at first, Theodora might seem like a cliché, flat character. But in fact, when you look at her on a second view, you realize that she is seems to actually suffer from a type of borderline personality disorder. She checks numerous marks: a feeling of solitude and emptiness ; an inability to control your temper and anger resulting in excessive mood swings ; an impulsive behavior resulting in unstable relationships (such as forming in your head a perfect image of someone you love only to realize later reality is different) ; a deep fear of abandonment (here both by the Wizard and her sister)… the only ones missing are the frequent changes in self-image, the stress-related paranoia and the suicidal threats. This already makes her a more disturbed and tragic character. But on the other side, you have to admit that honestly she is quite dumb. The most jarring element was when she used Evanora’s crystal ball to spy on the Wizard and Glinda. She sees how happy, colorful and joyful Glinda’s realm is, she sees that the people are certainly not oppressed and that there are no flying baboons or evil things anywhere. And yet she still believes Glinda is the wicked witch? Come on!

After biting in the enchanted green apple (in a very heavy nod to Disney’s Snow White), Theodora realizes that Evanora tricked her into becoming wicked. The apple first “makes it all clear”, because apparently, wickedness sharpens your mind? Theodora understands Evanora is the wicked witch, not Glinda, and then starts to suffer the intense pains of her “heart withering away”, all emotions and goodness replaced by wickedness and hatred. And, since all wicked witches are ugly in Oz, she turns into a copy of the iconic image of the Wicked Witch of the West: green-skinned, with a hooked nose, yellow eyes and a hooked chin. The movie also added black claws able to leave marks on marble, which is a nice touch.

Theodora’s magic manifests as red fire (she usually throws red fireballs, that sometimes explode upon hitting their target; and she can also teleport herself like a meteor and manifest out of fire tornadoes). She can fly like all other witches, but chooses to do so on a broom (broom which leaves a thick black smoke behind her) – specifically because the Wizard once told her that in his world witches flew on brooms. Her gem is actually a ruby she wears as a ring. Theodora also shows another power the other witches have not: telekinesis (she notably forces the Wizard to dance like a puppet). In fact, Theodora is implied to be the strongest of the three witches, being able to break Glinda’s wall when Evanora could not.

It is established here that Theodora is dreadfully allergic to water – it burns her like acid. To the point her own tears burn her cheeks. However, this is never actually explained. We do not know how or why, and we don’t know if Evanora has the same problem or not. It might be related to her having fire-magic, but the other witches don’t seem to suffer side-effect from their own elemental magics. So… yeah, an unanswered question.

Theodora as the Wicked Witch is basically pure hatred and violence. In fact, she only knows now how to threaten, shout and cackle. Even Evanora is taken aback by how furious and bloodthirsty – where Evanora wants people to flee in terror at the sight of her army, Theodora wants to kill all their enemies without mercy ; Evanora suggests hiding Theodora’s ugliness behind an enchantment, but Theodora refuses because she wants the Wizard to see what “he” did to her ; finally Theodora takes leadership of the “wicked” army and even calls Evanora a “coward” and the “weak one” when she flees in front of the Wizard, while Theodora fights to the last minute.

I also forgot to mention, but quite obviously the witches are color-coded: Glinda is entirely white ; Evanora is linked to green, with touches of black ; and Theodora used to be all red before switching to an all-black outfit.

[hedalightwood]

Regina, também conhecida como a Bruxa Boa do Norte, é uma das quatro feiticeiras da Irmandade das Bruxas de Oz, representando o poder da Generosidade. 

Regina, also known as the Good Witch of the North, is one of the four sorceresses of the Sisterhood of the Witches of Oz, representing the power of Generosity.

Nome/Name: Regina Castillo

Espécie/Specie: Bruxa/Witch

Local de Nascimento/Birthplace: Cidade das Esmeraldas; Oz/Emerald City; Oz

Família/Family: Glinda (irmã/sister), Theodora (irmã/sister), Evanora (irmã/sister), Roland (sobrinho/nephew), Henry Castillo (filho/son)

Poderes e Habilidades/Powers and Abilities: 

O poder das bruxas de Oz vem de sua magia, um elo entre si e a natureza e que os permite realizar mudanças mágicas.

A Bruxa Boa do Norte é uma das quatro feiticeiras da Irmandade das Bruxas em Oz, representando o poder da Generosidade. A habilidade de lançar feitiços e maldições. Regina pode se teletransportar e aos outros. Ela também pode teletransportar remotamente objetos e pessoas para sua localização imediata, desde que ela saiba sua localização específica ou que estejam em sua linha de visão de mensagem direta. Regina pode mover telecineticamente outras pessoas ou objetos. A habilidade de conjurar e controlar os elementos. Ela pode conjurar bolas de fogo e usar galhos e raízes de árvores para capturar pessoas.

A habilidade que permite ao conjurador conjurar um objeto do nada. A capacidade de criar explosões mágicas para prejudicar os inimigos e os objetos da maneira mais eficaz. Regina pode curar a maioria das feridas infligidas a si mesma ou a outra pessoa. Essa magia pode ser inibida por outras magias, como maldições ou objetos amaldiçoados. Uso do próprio sangue ou do sangue de outro para vários e mais avançados feitiços que só podem ser quebrados por alguém da mesma linhagem. É assim que Regina protege as entradas de lugares importantes. Os poderes da Bruxa do Norte são imensos.

The power of the Witches of Oz comes from their magic, a link between themselves and nature that allows them to effect magical changes.

The Good Witch of the North is one of the four witches of the Sisterhood of Witches in Oz, representing the power of Generosity. The ability to cast spells and curses. Regina can teleport herself and others. She can also remotely teleport objects and people to her immediate location as long as she knows their specific location or they are in her direct message line of sight. Regina can telekinetically move other people or objects. The ability to conjure and control the elements. She can conjure fireballs and use tree branches and roots to capture people.

The ability that allows the caster to conjure an object out of thin air. The ability to create magical explosions to harm enemies and objects in the most effective way. Regina can heal most wounds inflicted on herself or someone else. This spell can be inhibited by other spells, such as curses or cursed objects. Using one's own blood or the blood of another for various and more advanced spells that can only be broken by someone of the same bloodline. This is how Regina protects the entrances to important places. The powers of the Witch of the North are immense.

Personalidade/Personality:

Regina um indivíduo de bom coração, borbulhante, doce, divertido, espirituoso e otimista. Com relação a outras pessoas, Regina é descrita como gentil, calorosa, simpática, atenciosa, compassiva, empática, desinteressada e abnegada. Regina mostrou que ela faz um amigo muito amoroso, dedicado, leal e atencioso.

O traço mais definidor de Regina, bem como a sua maior fraqueza, é a compaixão, a abnegação e a devoção e lealdade eternas aos amigos e a vontade de sacrificar-se constantemente ou se marrotam por eles e pelo bem maior. Várias vezes em toda a série, Regina usa seus poderes e habilidades como uma bruxa para salvar as pessoas que ela precisa, além de inocentes, apesar de conhecer as conseqüências. Embora todos os membros de sua família tenham avisado sobre as conseqüências de alguns dos feitiços que ela realizou, a crença de Regina é que é seu dever proteger, salvar e ajudar seus amigos a todo custo.

Ela é uma pessoa generosa e ela sempre está tentando dar uma ajuda quando é mais necessária. Ela é uma pessoa altamente aventureira, exploradora e curiosa. Ela também possui um senso de humor bastante fora da batida e ela é conhecida por fornecer muito alívio cômico, especialmente em tempos de situações tensas. Regina é extremamente amigável, alegre e encantadora, e, portanto, todos os seus amigos a adoram por causa disso.

Regina tem uma atitude positiva e otimista e ela tem uma disposição feliz. Ela mostrou que ela é um pouco sonhadora e que ela também é altamente idealista. Ela parece gostar de viver em um mundo de sonhos e escapar do realismo. Ela também é altamente espiritual e tem uma natureza muito gentil e curativa. Regina parece ter uma tendência para colocar uma grande ênfase na fantasia ou no invisível em sua vida, seja suas emoções ou sua própria intuição.

Embora o personagem de Regina geralmente pareça ser de coração leve, Regina tem uma raia inerentemente escura dentro de sua personalidade. Ela é fortemente atraída pela aventura e pelo lado perigoso, incomum e imprevisível das coisas. Ela está profundamente fascinada e intrigada com a escuridão, especialmente a morte e a morbidez. Regina é bruxa altamente forte, é sobrecarregada pela força de seus poderes às vezes, e ela tenta reprimir a verdadeira extensão deles sem muito sucesso.  Ela também tem sonhos intensos, flashes proféticos, visões e previsões, o que algumas vezes a fez desaparecer, desmaiar e se tornar inconsciente, devido à sua intensidade severa às vezes.

Regina is a kind-hearted, bubbly, sweet, fun, witty and optimistic individual. With respect to other people, Regina is described as kind, warm, sympathetic, caring, compassionate, empathetic, selfless, and self-sacrificing. Regina has shown that she makes a very loving, devoted, loyal and caring friend.

Regina's most defining trait, as well as her greatest weakness, is her compassion, selflessness, and undying devotion and loyalty to her friends, and the willingness to constantly sacrifice or defeat herself for them and the greater good. Several times throughout the series, Regina uses her powers and abilities as a witch to save people she needs as well as innocents, despite knowing the consequences. Although all of her family members have warned of the consequences of some of the spells she has performed, Regina's belief is that it is her duty to protect, save and help her friends at all costs.

She is a generous person and she is always trying to lend a helping hand when it is most needed. . She is a highly adventurous, exploring and curious person. She also possesses a rather off-beat sense of humor and she is known to provide a lot of comic relief, especially in times of tense situations. Regina is extremely friendly, cheerful, and charming, and therefore, all her friends adore her because of it.

Regina has a positive and upbeat attitude and she has a happy disposition. She has shown that she is a bit of a dreamer and that she is also highly idealistic. She seems to enjoy living in a dream world and escaping realism. She is also highly spiritual and has a very gentle and healing nature. Regina seems to have a tendency to place a great deal of emphasis on fantasy or the unseen in her life, be it her emotions or her own intuition.

Although Regina's character generally appears to be light-hearted, Regina has an inherently dark streak within her personality. She is strongly drawn to adventure and the dangerous, unusual and unpredictable side of things. She is deeply fascinated and intrigued by darkness, especially death and morbidity. Regina is a highly strong witch, is overwhelmed by the strength of her powers at times, and she tries to suppress the true extent of them without much success. She also has intense dreams, prophetic flashes, visions and predictions, which has sometimes caused her to disappear, pass out and become unconscious, due to her severe intensity at times.

Notas e Curiosidades/Notes and Curiosities:

.  Regina é conhecida em Oz como a Bruxa Boa do Norte.

.   Regina é fã de Doctor Who e Star Trek.

.  Ela mora no mesmo bunker que os irmãos Winchester

.  Sua comida favorita é tacos.

.  Regina faz parte da Irmandade das Bruxas de Oz. Lá ela representa a Generosidade e a Compaixão.

.  As bruxas da Irmandade de Oz são: Glinda, Bruxa Boa do Sul, Theodora, Bruxa Boa do Leste (anteriormente Bruxa Má do Leste) e Regina, Bruxa Boa do Norte. Evanora ocupava um lugar na irmandade até de rebelar e se tornar a Bruxa Má do Oeste.

.  Regina está em um relacionamento com Dean Winchester.

.  Embora tenha nascido e crescido em Oz. Seu pai, Christopher Castillo foi um Homem de Letras. E antes de se tornarem as Bruxas da Irmandade de Oz, sua mãe era a Bruxa Suprema.

.  Lúcifer e Regina já estiveram em um relacionamento e tiveram um filho. Henry morreu na nona temporada. Regina e Lúcifer ainda são muito próximos e são vistos juntos muitas vezes. Ela é a única que consegue mantê-lo na linha.

.  Regina é quem cuida de seu sobrinho Roland juntamente com Michael, sua irmã Theodora está em Oz juntamente com Glinda. Devido a este fato, os dois ficaram muito próximos, protetores um com o outro, entre outras coisas.

. Regina is known in Oz as the Good Witch of the North.

. Regina is a fan of Doctor Who and Star Trek.

. She lives in the same bunker as the Winchester brothers

. Her favorite food is tacos.

. Regina is part of the Sisterhood of the Witches of Oz. There she represents Generosity and Compassion.

. The witches of the Brotherhood of Oz are: Glinda, Good Witch of the South, Theodora, Good Witch of the East (formerly Evil Witch of the East) and Regina, Good Witch of the North. Evanora held a place in the sisterhood until she rebelled and became the Wicked Witch of the West.

. Regina is in a relationship with Dean Winchester.

. Although she was born and raised in Oz. Her father Christopher Castillo was a Man of Letters. And before they became the Witches of the Brotherhood of Oz, her mother was the Witch Supreme.

. Lucifer and Regina were once in a relationship and had a child. Henry died in season nine. Regina and Lucifer are still very close and are seen together often. She's the only one who can keep him in line.

. Regina is the one who takes care of Roland's nephew along with Michael, her sister Theodora is in Oz along with Glinda. Due to this fact, the two became very close, protective of each other, among other things.

[fumpkins]

The weirdest things we learned this week: counting vampires and nudist founding fathers

What’s the weirdest thing you learned this week? Well, whatever it is, we promise you’ll have an even weirder answer if you listen to PopSci’s hit podcast. The Weirdest Thing I Learned This Week hits iTunes, Anchor, and everywhere else you listen to podcasts every Wednesday morning. It’s your new favorite source for the strangest science-adjacent facts, figures, and Wikipedia spirals the editors of Popular Science can muster. If you like the stories in this post, we guarantee you’ll love the show.

FACT: Benjamin Franklin liked to sit around naked

By Rachel Feltman

Air bathing is exactly what it sounds like: It’s like bathing, but with air. Of course, one could also refer to air bathing as “sitting around in the nude,” and they definitely wouldn’t be wrong. One famous proponent of this practice was none other than Benjamin Franklin. Here’s a paper on the subject written in the early 1900s, featuring excerpts from the founding father’s pro-nude-naptime letters.

I hoped to uncover the true health benefits of sitting around sans clothing—there’s no good research on the subject, by the way—but as I discuss in this week’s episode of the show, I came across a surprising twist. And yes: just like the last surprising twist I found, it involves Nazis. They’re everywhere! Go figure. You can read more about Joe Knowles, whose time spent living naked and alone (allegedly) in the wilderness showcases the creepy rhetoric of the American eugenics movement, in this Boston Magazine retrospective. I also mention his hilariously laudatory book on the so-called experiment, which you can peruse for yourself for tidbits about how exposure to the elements would help American men maintain the strength of the race. And if that connection to eugenics and Nazism is still a little too subtle for you, read up on how the Nazi party co-opted the tenants of the nudist movement (while disavowing anything as liberal as actually running around nude) here.

To end on the lightest possible note (sorry!) here is a photo I found of Eugen Sandow, largely considered the father of modern bodybuilding. Knowles, pictured above, claims his measurements were comparable to the famous athlete’s stats after his stint in the woods. This will make you laugh.

FACT: Vampires are compulsive counters (and other bizarre vampire facts)

By Jessica Boddy

I recently caught up with a former history professor of mine, Theodora Kelly Trimble from the University of Pittsburgh, and she reminded me of a rather grim figure from the 16th and 17th centuries: Elizabeth Bathory. Bathory was a Hungarian countess who was quite possibly the most deadly serial killer of all time—she’s thought to have tortured and killed over 600 young women. Her murders were rather gory, and some saw her bathing in the blood of her victims, an act thought to preserve her youth and beauty. This led people to believe that she was a vampire. (She was even born in Transylvania!) Bathory was tried and charged for her crimes, and as punishment, the Hungarian people built a wall to barricade her into her castle’s tower. There was a little slot for air and food to pass through, but other than that, she could not leave.

Researching this got me thinking about just how weird the culture surrounding vampire lore is, so I decided to check out my notes from Kelly’s class (which was about vampire myths throughout history and across cultures). Among my favorite facts is a classic vampire burial technique: sprinkle poppy seeds on a supposed vampire’s grave, and he or she will never come to hunt you. This is because vampires are, supposedly, compulsive counters, and would spend all night counting the poppy seeds you left. I also brushed up on porphyria, a disease that causes sun sensitivity and receding gums, making its sufferers look very pale and have very large teeth. Though not overly common today, porphyria was thought to occur more in individuals who repeatedly married within their families—like, for instance, in small villages in the valleys of Transylvania.

FACT: Cutting up hot peppers can give you a condition called jalapeño hands

By Claire Maldarelli

A while back, as I was catching up with my sister over the phone, she mentioned to me something odd: Shortly after cutting up hot peppers for a recipe, her thumb started burning and wouldn’t stop. After googling her symptoms, she found that, in fact, this is a not-so-uncommon condition that in the medical literature goes by many names, including but not limited to: hot pepper hands, jalapeño hands, jalapeño thumb, and Hunan hand syndrome.

As a health editor and self-proclaimed hypochondriac, I was surprised and interested (a disease I had never heard of!). Turns out, the culprit is capsaicin, a chemical compound found in the fruit of plants within the capsicum family, including red chili peppers, jalapeños, and habaneros. This colorless and odorless compound binds to pain receptors, triggering the sensation of intense heat or burning. But I won’t ruin all the surprises that come with jalapeño hands. Listen to this week’s episode for more about this bizarre reaction to hot peppers, how to treat it, some crazy case studies, and of course, some hot pepper cutting best practices to prevent the burn.

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New post published on: https://www.livescience.tech/2019/03/04/the-weirdest-things-we-learned-this-week-counting-vampires-and-nudist-founding-fathers/

[ntrending]

The weirdest things we learned this week: nudist founding fathers and vampire lore

New Post has been published on https://nexcraft.co/the-weirdest-things-we-learned-this-week-nudist-founding-fathers-and-vampire-lore/

The weirdest things we learned this week: nudist founding fathers and vampire lore

What’s the weirdest thing you learned this week? Well, whatever it is, we promise you’ll have an even weirder answer if you listen to PopSci’s hit podcast. The Weirdest Thing I Learned This Week hits iTunes, Anchor, and everywhere else you listen to podcasts every Wednesday morning. It’s your new favorite source for the strangest science-adjacent facts, figures, and Wikipedia spirals the editors of Popular Science can muster. If you like the stories in this post, we guarantee you’ll love the show.

FACT: Benjamin Franklin liked to sit around naked

By Rachel Feltman

Air bathing is exactly what it sounds like: It’s like bathing, but with air. Of course, one could also refer to air bathing as “sitting around in the nude,” and they definitely wouldn’t be wrong. One famous proponent of this practice was none other than Benjamin Franklin. Here’s a paper on the subject written in the early 1900s, featuring excerpts from the founding father’s pro-nude-naptime letters.

I hoped to uncover the true health benefits of sitting around sans clothing—there’s no good research on the subject, by the way—but as I discuss in this week’s episode of the show, I came across a surprising twist. And yes: just like the last surprising twist I found, it involves Nazis. They’re everywhere! Go figure. You can read more about Joe Knowles, whose time spent living naked and alone (allegedly) in the wilderness showcases the creepy rhetoric of the American eugenics movement, in this Boston Magazine retrospective. I also mention his hilariously laudatory book on the so-called experiment, which you can peruse for yourself for tidbits about how exposure to the elements would help American men maintain the strength of the race. And if that connection to eugenics and Nazism is still a little too subtle for you, read up on how the Nazi party co-opted the tenants of the nudist movement (while disavowing anything as liberal as actually running around nude) here.

To end on the lightest possible note (sorry!) here is a photo I found of Eugen Sandow, largely considered the father of modern bodybuilding. Knowles, pictured above, claims his measurements were comparable to the famous athlete’s stats after his stint in the woods. This will make you laugh.

FACT: Vampires are compulsive counters (and other bizarre vampire facts)

By Jessica Boddy

I recently caught up with a former history professor of mine, Theodora Kelly Trimble from the University of Pittsburgh, and she reminded me of a rather grim figure from the 16th and 17th centuries: Elizabeth Bathory. Bathory was a Hungarian countess who was quite possibly the most deadly serial killer of all time—she’s thought to have tortured and killed over 600 young women. Her murders were rather gory, and some saw her bathing in the blood of her victims, an act thought to preserve her youth and beauty. This led people to believe that she was a vampire. (She was even born in Transylvania!) Bathory was tried and charged for her crimes, and as punishment, the Hungarian people built a wall to barricade her into her castle’s tower. There was a little slot for air and food to pass through, but other than that, she could not leave.

Researching this got me thinking about just how weird the culture surrounding vampire lore is, so I decided to check out my notes from Kelly’s class (which was about vampire myths throughout history and across cultures). Among my favorite facts is a classic vampire burial technique: sprinkle poppy seeds on a supposed vampire’s grave, and he or she will never come to hunt you. This is because vampires are, supposedly, compulsive counters, and would spend all night counting the poppy seeds you left. I also brushed up on porphyria, a disease that causes sun sensitivity and receding gums, making its sufferers look very pale and have very large teeth. Though not overly common today, porphyria was thought to occur more in individuals who repeatedly married within their families—like, for instance, in small villages in the valleys of Transylvania.

FACT: Cutting up hot peppers can give you a condition called jalapeño hands

By Claire Maldarelli

A while back, as I was catching up with my sister over the phone, she mentioned to me something odd: Shortly after cutting up hot peppers for a recipe, her thumb started burning and wouldn’t stop. After googling her symptoms, she found that, in fact, this is a not-so-uncommon condition that in the medical literature goes by many names, including but not limited to: hot pepper hands, jalapeño hands, jalapeño thumb, and Hunan hand syndrome.

As a health editor and self-proclaimed hypochondriac, I was surprised and interested (a disease I had never heard of!). Turns out, the culprit is capsaicin, a chemical compound found in the fruit of plants within the capsicum family, including red chili peppers, jalapeños, and habaneros. This colorless and odorless compound binds to pain receptors, triggering the sensation of intense heat or burning. But I won’t ruin all the surprises that come with jalapeño hands. Listen to this week’s episode for more about this bizarre reaction to hot peppers, how to treat it, some crazy case studies, and of course, some hot pepper cutting best practices to prevent the burn.

Written By Rachel Feltman, Jessica Boddy, Claire Maldarelli