#then there’s the whole dead jesminda thing so this needs to be depressing too

[yaralulu]

It’s been quite interesting trying to write this precanon tamcien fic because I’m so used to writing tamcien as these two people who just have SO much history together and know the ins and out of one another so well that now trying to write them as two strangers has not been the…easiest lol. I’m just so used to writing them with their deep history in mind, everything kinda revolves around that. But now I’m having to write them as two strangers, as these two people who don’t know each other at all but have gone through this really intense experience together that’s lowkey trauma bonded them in a way. So they’re in a really weird spot where they’re strangers but they’re not but they also are 💀.

So far I’ve majorly projected my awkwardness onto Tamlin. Again, he’s in a weird position where he wants to help Lucien and he wants to get to know him but I don’t wanna write that in a way that makes him seem creepy or feels unnatural?? I want his interest in Lucien to feel ~organic~. But also need to somehow figure out how to make his interest in Lucien homoerotic in the least obvious way possible. Like subtle homoeroticism, so subtle not even Tamlin knows it’s happening. I’m making this very hard for myself 😄😄.