#then that happened. THEN they did that fanfic podium 😭

[superm4ks]

Crying

Been off and on for like 2 days tbh yk what finally got me to stop and Im kinda grateful for because like Zhou gone haasbands over Val gone Lew did niki proud Max won his fourth in a row PREGNANT and then u have fucking. Mclaren .. wcc winners ended like a 20 something year old title drought dethroned merc and rbr dominance wid a p1 in the last race and Zak Browns stupid ass actually came on the radio and said 'simply lovely' wid his full chest like I was in the midst of actually weeping and just stopped and burst out laughing because like how do you fuck up SO badly that u turn such a monumental turn around for the once and future Malboro demon into like Verstappens possible copyright infringement like thank you so much

[riacte]

🛸 exterrasexymenpoll Follow

Congratulations to the RED KING for being the ULTIMATE EXTERRABLR SEXYMAN!! 🎉🎉🎉

Remember to support the racers in the Grand Prix today! Thank you everyone, it’s been a ride!

📺 saintswept Follow

#RKSWEEP LETS GOOOOOO :D

sorry hand but ren won… i mean it’s ren. can we blame anyone lmfao

🌲 dilfkisser Follow

#RKSWEEP WE DID IT LADSSSSS

i feel bad for being more invested in this poll than the actual GP going on 😭 well nevermind the stream just started, ill meet y’all there!

🐷 scartimeswithblade Follow

LMAO RKSWEEP :DDD

Holy shit look at the grid this time— RK and Hand in the front! And who’s that newbie claiming they can “beat” RK when they’re wayyy behind in the grid lmao— ego much? They’re so oddly confident ewww

I hope Ren and Martyn win this and mention the sexyman poll on the podium @/handoftheking sorry for tagging but please we would love to see it <3

🌲 dilfkisser Follow

pre race treebark seems especially gay 😭🙏 all the tender caresses and intense looks and hand holding and promises… skizz looks SO DONE with them lmfao. the camera crew giving us good food today <3 do you think they’ll kiss on the podium

aaaaaaand it’s lights out and away we go!!! LETS GO DOGWARTS LETS GO STARGAYZER!!!!! SLAY

⏳ rensanddaddy Follow

why are they pitting early HOLY FUCK

WTF WAS THAT SHOT

ARE THE GUNNERS OKAY???

FOUL FOUL FOUL

🦇 starshipspachelbel Follow

my entire family SCREAMED

ok uhhhh rk and hand seem fine… if not shaken

i think martyn “hand of the king” should be LEGALLY ALLOWED to kill people

those two gliders sure are intensely exploring each others bodies on the track

RUN RUN RK RUN FOR UR LIFE OH MY TSUKI RUNNNNNNNNN

☄️ cosmiclovee Follow

CMON BABYGIRL RUN

im so stressed. this sport is so fucking dangerous LETS HOLD HANDS PEOPLE

THREE MORE LAPS. BREATH GETTING FAINTER. THEY CAN DO IT. BELIEVE IN STARGAZER

💄 gaysforqoh Follow

THEY DID IT!!! Another Dogwarts win!!! :DD THE BABYGIRLS WON WOOOOOOO

wait what’s this going on

wait who

WAIT

WAIT

☄️ cosmiclovee Follow

JAHCHWJDHQJDJJAHDHDHDBS IS THIS REAL???

oh. oh my god.

it’s.

i. m speechless

@/queenofstarz03 YOU MANIFESTED IT YOU FUCKER 😭😭😭😭 NO FUCKING WAY??????

🔮 queenofstarz03 Follow

i can’t believe it… i fuckign fell from my chair

LOVE WINS!!!! WE WIN THESE IM CRUING AND SOBBING IM ON THE FLOOORRRR SHUT UP AND LOOK AT WHATS HAPPENING ON SCREEN 😭🙏

LOVE WINS!! and transgender theorists LOSE yipee

🍬 gunnerwithashotgun Follow

ok i understand this is the most exciting thing to happen to exterra since the iconic “red winter rises tonight!!” (which is. honestly not that long ago lmfao) BUT CAN WE SEE THE PODIUM PLEASE 🙏

🎇 thestarsweremadeforus Follow

I swear I read a fanfic with this exact same scenario before—

anyways don’t contact me for 45 business days I will never be normal about this SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP FROM HAPPINESS

🛸 exterrasexymenpoll Follow

Uh. Hello everyone.

We are aware of… recent developments in the latest Grand Prix. We are of course ecstatic and delighted. Once again this blog and this poll is in no way connected to important historical intergalactic events.

Despite the suspicious timing.

Despite the awfully coincidental matchups.

Yup, we have no sway over whatever happened on screen just hours ago. We’re still in disbelief.

☄️ cosmiclovee Follow

Wait… did I get blocked or is @/blueballs deactivated?

📺 saintswept Follow

@/handoftheking too… I mean maybe Exterra’s cracking down on online security? It’s understandable that the Hand doesn’t want to be bombarded with asks after THAT happened

wait my friend who has a relative working in exterra just said the dilf dogwarts frieghter left? they seemed like they were in a rush hmm. something seems up with the crastle team too… what happened ytd probably upset the status quo A LOT

🦇 starshipspachelbel Follow

???? This started out as a fun, lighthearted poll about exterrablr sexymen and now it turned into one of the biggest moments in Exterra history?? this is on the same level as a sexyman poll coinciding with the death of a monarch—

I went here for fun and now there's actual drama? Help 😭

🛸 exterrasexymenpoll Follow

THE RED KING from TEAM DOGWARTS and BLUE BATS

vs

HAND OF THE KING from TEAM DOGWARTS

Please stop mentioning the Blue Stalker in our comments. They have caused a lot of distress for the Exterra community, no matter how “sexy” they are or “how many bitches” they get.

Once again, we condone voter fraud, but we draw the line at spamming our polls with links to the enemies to lovers Blue Stalker x Red King fic.

🎇 thestarsweremadeforus Follow

OFHHDFJSJDJS ITS HERE!!! DIVORCE POST!!! HAND VS KING the boyfriends are fighting!!!

Not gonna lie I was so absorbed in the potential hilarity of this matchup that I failed to realise I have to vote for someone now. I’m. Im genuinely torn 😭😭😭

💄 gaysloveqoh Follow

stop saying treebark is divorcing when they BOTH are on qoh’s side 😭 they’re united in their respect for our queen 😤

anyways idk what to do now that blueballs is out. anyone wanna make an alliance with the ballgurls 🥰

🦇 starshipspachelbel Follow

You’re right, the gays DO love qoh (gays being treebark)

This is so cruel, putting the king against his loyal hand… I am drowning, there is no sign of land, you are coming down with me, hand in unlovable hand…

#RKSWEEP though (I say with tears in my eyes)

👽 blueballs Follow

sorry but the blue stalker DOES get all the bitches 😎 more sexyman energy than xisuma exterra void anyway

anyways im endorsing red king LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOO

👑 princeofhearts Follow

To the #HEARTSWEEP people mourning their loss, why vote for [deadname] when you can vote for his transitioned self, the Hand of the King? Stop being so fixated on [deadname], he’s still RK’s gunner 😭

Btw the ship wars between RK x Hand vs RK x QoH are so stupid like the Hand and QoH are the same people???? Some miraculous laserbug love square type of bullshit? Anyways I support the prince of hearts 🙏

🍬 gunnerwithashotgun Follow

@/princeofhearts ur a freak, stfu!!! queen of hearts and hand of the king are TOTALLY different ppl (they have different bioneos colours) and ur being lumianphobic by thinking theyre the same even tho they're just the same SPECIES (they even have different cultures like the hand keeps on roasting rk for calling tuski "pearl" bc that's the way qoh learned it??)

🪓 handoftheking Follow

I’m adding “not False Symmetry / Queen of Hearts” to my bio. Like, she’s super cool, but I’m unfortunately not her.

Anyways, vote for me over that old man. You’re not letting a potato win, right?

💫 concorp-official Follow

Vote for the Red King! Show a screenshot that you voted for him at any ConCorp intergalactic outlet and receive a 5% discount, effective today!

⏳ rensanddaddy Follow

NOT THE OBVIOUS BRIBERY FROM MR CUB HIMSELF.... we need to vote harder for the Hand!! Just look at his blonde ass hair and blue dishwasher detergent freckles!! He's so pathetic and a meow meow and I want to lovingly crush him against the walls of a spaceship (im not the blue stalker i promise)

🐙 doctagon Follow

... guys. i. The actual Exterra official account on twt sent out the link to this poll?? The ACTUAL account?? We've breached so many layers of containment???????

🪓 handoftheking Follow

... Okay, that miiiight be my fault? It's good PR for us, right? We're the two sexiest racers in the Exterra industry on the podium together. It's good for our image, and maybe people will FINALLY stop truthing I'm transgender QoH

🌲 dilfkisser Follow

I hope we get a perfect 50/50 tie. I want homoerotic RK and his homoerotic Hand to both win. I want them to stand on the podium and make out while holding a pride flag while BlueBalls beatboxes in the shadows. I hope we all win. (Except the transgender lumian theory believers, go touch some stardust)