#then suddenly oops! 7 paragraphs

[soren-apologist]

kinda wild to think about how much ike and soren’s first meeting as children changed the course of tellius’ history.

most of you already know how the story goes, but ike stumbles across soren slowly starving to death in the forests of gallia. in direct contrast to the abuse and scorn soren has only ever known up to this point, ike not only gives him his lunch to eat, but actually wants to help him further, promising to return the next day with more food and even offering to bring him back to his home. while soren ultimately refuses the latter offer and ike disappears the next day, this act of genuine, unconditional kindness is so earth-shattering to young soren that he chooses to spend years searching for the boy who saved him. after finally locating him, soren joins the greil mercenaries and chooses to repay ike’s act of kindness by exclusively dedicating his arcane and tactical abilities to aiding him, even when ike himself is still unable to recall their first meeting.

with that established, let me start diving into the ramifications of all this by stating that soren is nothing short of a tactical genius. in fact, it wouldn’t be much of a stretch to claim that, even in his young age, he’s likely the best tactician on the continent. it’s honestly kind of a blessing for everyone else that ike has no desire for power and soren just follows his lead, because if he really wanted to soren could probably have the entire continent in the palm of his hand in like 5 years just by pulling the strings from the shadows.

now, this isn’t just me extolling soren’s virtues because i’m a fan (i am, and that’s what i’m doing— it’s just besides the point); if soren hadn’t decided to join the greil mercenaries, it’s honestly pretty unlikely they would have even managed to survive daein’s onslaught. even with titania and greil’s combined might in combat, they still had to contend with daein’s sheer quantity of soldiers up against their small mercenary company. in real life, numbers are a really big deal in warfare— even if you’ve got a group of professional soldiers going up against a bunch of untrained peasants drafted into an army, if those peasants outnumber the soldiers enough, you’re probably going to lose unless you can come up with a really good strategy. while yes, this is fire emblem, the same franchise where just one guy on a horse could literally solo the entire campaign just one game before, a lot of that ability to survive maps comes from you as the player being able to strategize and effectively command them. this means that even though titania can hard carry the entirety of fe9’s early game, if you just plonk her in front of the enemy’s line of mages with zero terrain cover and a single iron axe, she’s probably not going to survive.

as such, this is exactly what makes soren so important to battle as a whole. diegetically speaking, your role as a player is essentially managing ike and soren’s jobs in the army. not only do you command the forces (ike), you’re also the one handling things like budgeting of weapons and supplies, as well as working out the specific strategies meant to guarantee your army’s survival and success (soren). consequently, ike’s decisions as a commander rely heavily on soren’s advice and tactical acumen to make sure his forces aren’t just immediately decimated the second he gives orders. simply put, without soren’s tactics essentially performing miracles to allow the greil mercenaries’ tiny number of forces to defeat daein’s massive numbers, they’re all probably going to die or end up captured. in the best-case scenario, elincia somehow manages to evade daein’s forces and get to gallia, but the more likely outcome is her capture and subsequent execution.

if elincia does manage to reach gallia and go to caineghis for aid, it’s unlikely she would be able to garner much in the way of any sort of protection, considering the mercenaries are gone and any laguz forces are likely to be very unwilling to fight for a beorc princess. any battles from here on out are going to be significantly more difficult, and while it is theoretically possible for her to defeat daein and reclaim crimea with begnion and later gallia’s help, the odds of it actually happening without their forces being defeated entirely would be astronomically low.

if elincia isn’t able to reach gallia and then make it to begnion to petition for aid, or if her forces are ultimately defeated by daein, ashnard’s original plans of marching through crimea to invade gallia and dragging all the other nations into it would have continued. while gallia was definitely far better equipped to handle a military invasion than crimea would have ever been, they would still have to deal with the combined forces of daein and begnion once the latter is dragged into the beorc vs. laguz conflict (assuming elincia doesn’t manage to reach begnion). considering how much of a nightmare it was for them to fight begnion in fe10, they’d similarly petition for aid from kilvas and phoenicis, effectively forming the laguz alliance three years early. with that in mind, while i ultimately doubt this conflict would fully manage to awaken ashera without hatari’s and, depending on how events turn out, goldoa’s involvement, it’d still be an extremely messy and bloody war that would leave scars on the continent far greater than those of the canon mad king’s war.

if ike hadn’t found soren that day in gallia, there likely would have been no patriotic hero and princess of crimea to bring together the continent to defeat daein and save crimea. the rifts between beorc and laguz would have been deepened instead of bridged, and in the same way ashera would remain asleep, the pain and suffering of tellius would be left unchanged, continuing to haunt the living as the bloodied bodies of the dead piled higher and higher. ironically, amidst all the great and legendary feats ike would come to be known for, his simple act of genuine kindness would ultimately be the catalyst for the salvation of tellius.

[squarebracket-trickster]

Or you tell yourself you are only here to read it for enjoyment but, how have you never caught that spelling mistake before? And five years ago, when you first wrote this, you didn't know a comma was supposed to go there, but now you do so maybe you should just add it in. And that sentence, it's never bothered you before but suddenly you can think of a much better way to phrase it. Maybe you really are improving as a writer?! Now... if only you could figure out how to rephrase this other sentence that has been haunting you for five years... and

Oops. You've been editing for 4 hours now. You're still not through the second paragraph. It's 3am. This was supposed to be a quick read before bed. You have to leave for work by 7:45.

the issue with writing for yourself is that you will get sucked into rereading your own fic over and over and pretend it’s “editing,” but really you’re just reading because it’s exactly what you want to read. because you wrote it. for you.

[ickle-ronniekins]

embrasse moi

request: from nonnie! “please can you do a super competitive fred and reader story and idk do with that what u will I trust your judgement”

pairing: fred x french!slytherin!reader

word count: 1.7k

A/N: i am ~feelin~ this request rn. i know quidditch wasn’t a thing during the triwizard tournament when faux moody was teaching just humor me. didn’t realize how much i need a french speaking fred until i wrote this 😩 also i definitely do not speak french and i've used google translate so i apologize in advance if any phrases are wrong LOL. i'll put the what the translations are supposed to be underneath the paragraphs they appear in and @ the bottom with an asterisk *

warning(s): a curse word (oops sry); ~steam~

tag list: @mintlibri @seppys-return-to-madness @how-do-life-does @fopdoodledane @fredd-weasley @iprobablyshipit91 @semmelsemi @laneygthememequeen @snakesonaplane-7 @keoghans @helloallthethingsilove @dreamer821 @the-hufflepuff-of-221b @62442-am @wtfweasleyy @obsessedwithrandomthings @thoseofgreatambition @harrysweasleys @sleep-i-ness @shadowsinger11 @shadychaoticcollection @haphazardhufflepuff @afriendlyneighborhoodhufflepuff @hood-and-horan @letsfightsomeorcs @theweasleysredhair @purpleskiesstorm @hxfflxpxffs @wand3ringr0s3 @finecole @angelinathebook @highly-acidic @purplefragile @90shermione @zreads @susceptible-but-siriusexual @hollands-weasley @andromedaa-tonks @bbystrawberry0421 @princessof-theuniverse @cappsikle @mytreec @imseeinggred @idont-knowrn @flyingserpxnt @auroraboringalis57 @godricsswords @jejegu @annasofiaearlobe @starlightweasley @alwaysasadaesthetic @thisismysketchbook | message me to be added, loves!

“Slytherin wins!”

Fred watched as you threw your beater’s bat into the air while you did backflips on your broomstick in front of all of your teammates. He huffed dramatically; he normally didn’t fancy losing a match to Slytherin, but you showing off was just rubbing salt into the wound.

“Don’t think on it, mate,” George told his twin. He looked absolutely bloody exhausted. Ever since Slytherin had replaced their beaters who had graduated the year before, their team was unstoppable. You sort of stunned the entire school when you arrived at tryouts and crushed it, making the students question why in the bloody hell you hadn’t ever tried out for Quidditch in the first place.

As the Gryffindor team walked sluggishly back toward the changing rooms, the vile Slytherin team captain did not hold back from overly-complimenting his team, therefore firing shots in the Gryffindors’ direction.

“Never seen a more brilliant beater before,”

Fred rolled his eyes noticeably. As your teammates patted you on the back, Fred just scoffed loudly, hoping to grab your attention. When he saw that he had, he turned to George and Harry and said, “She wasn’t that brilliant.” George just shut his eyes and shook his head, sick of Fred’s constant complaining.

“Aw -- vous vous sentez mal, Fred? Ne sois pas si mauvais perdant.”

          ↳ “Are you feeling bad, Fred? Don’t be such a sore loser.”

You earned yourself another eye roll for that one.

“Speak bloody English, would you woman?” he said angrily.

You pursed your lips dramatically in his direction. If he hadn’t been so pissed off, he would’ve noticed how his heart rate had seemed to increase at the fluttering of your eyelashes as you winked at him. Except he’d always been too focused trying to one-up you to notice such things. “Better luck next time, Weasley.”

It wasn’t just Quidditch. It was everything. Charms, incantations, exploding snap games, hexes -- even things Fred absolutely loathed doing, like stupid readings in Divination. It had all started back in your first year, when you were able to kick off the ground first in your flying lesson; you were a Muggleborn and had no idea how to fly. This annoyed Fred to no end, because he’d been flying since he could walk! And ever since, you two fell into this intense competitive streak, not giving into one another. George sure was over it though. Had been for a long time.

He gently tugged on Fred’s robes to lead him back toward the Gryffindor changing rooms, but it was a lost cause. Fred was already ripping off his uniforms due to pure anguish. George sucked in a deep breath before leaving his brother on the pitch. “Bloody hell, here we go again.”

-- -

The next day, Fred was struggling to get through classes due to his lack of sleep from the night prior, and it didn’t help when he was partnered up with you in Defense Against the Dark Arts in Moody’s attempt to separate him and George. Begrudgingly, his feet carried him over toward your desk where you stood, arms crossed and smirk bright. George on the other hand looked particularly jovial to be very far away from the two of you.

“Professor?”

Moody growled. “Not now, Weasley. Time to practice nonverbal hexes with your partner. No complaints.”

Fred huffed a bit and turned toward you. You cocked your head to the side, “What’s the matter? Scared you won’t be able to out hex me?” You narrowed your eyes at him and deepened your grin.

Fred scoffed. “I can out hex you in my sleep.”

You rolled your eyes and muttered under your breath, “Pauvre, gentil garçon. Tellement naïf.”

          ↳ “Poor, sweet boy. So naive.”

He didn’t even bloody care what you’d said, he was just so ready for this lesson to be over. He positioned himself a few feet away from you and stood in a rather dramatic, annoyed stance, waiting for you to just do your worst, already.

Your eyes seemed to darken with concentration. Fred was hoping that the slight smirk he painted on his face would be enough to distract you, but he was unfortunately proven wrong. Suddenly his knees were reversed and he began to falter on his own two feet. You and a few others surrounding you both, including his own twin, fell into laughter.

“Walk much, Weasley?”

His eyes turned to slits as he reversed the hex back, ignoring the crimson colour flooding his cheeks and the laughs still bouncing around the room. You still wiggled your eyebrows at him as he took his own position, pointing his wand toward you. He really needed to bloody concentrate, but the sing-song sound of your voice as you rattled off phrases in your native tongue sent him spiraling. He focused his thoughts solely on the one word: Titillando. He might’ve been distracted, but still managed to hex you.

Your laughter grew due to the tickling that took you over. You fell to your knees and giggled like a little school girl, grabbing at your arms and legs and back as the tickling sensation only heightened. Fred waltzed over to you, confidence exuding him, and lifted his eyebrows at you. He grinned evilly. “Got you.”

Somehow he found himself centimeters from you. He slowly lifted his wand and reversed the hex, and you were now completely out of breath, staring up at him with beady eyes. He took your hand in a tight grip and pulled you to your feet. He could feel your breath on his neck. “Sanglant brillant,” you managed to say in a breathless whisper.

          ↳ “Bloody brilliant.”

He certainly didn’t need you to translate that one. He wiggled his eyebrows at you and breathed, “Glad you think so.”

Shit. You didn’t realize you’d said it aloud, and you hadn’t managed to realize how close he was to you. You pushed on his chest and walked out of his way, fixing your tie and cardigan before sighing deeply to rid yourself of your flustered feelings. You cleared your throat and said, “Again.”

Cheekiness overtook his expression. “Looking for me to out jinx you again, are we?”

“Just do it, Fred.”

“Why can’t you just finally admit that I’m better than you? Put this whole thing to rest --?”

You cut him off. “Tu n'es pas! You stupid boy --” you wandered toward the entrance of the classroom; you needed some air, he was driving you up a wall. You stepped into the empty corridor. “Don’t let this foolishness go to your head. I’ve always been better, I always will be better.”

          ↳ “You are not!”

Fred laughed. “You’re out of your mind, what on earth --”

“It’s obvious!” you cried, throwing your arms up into the air. You inched forward toward him, and you were able to see the veins in his neck protruding just a bit; you were clearly getting to him. The tips of his ears were bright underneath that red hair of his. “Just admit it to me, Weasley. You can’t handle a girl being better at you -- better at hexes, better at lessons, better at Quidditch. Better at everything.” You stood on the tips of your toes in an attempt copy his stance. “And it’s driving you bloody mad, isn’t it?”

Fred sucked in a very deep breath and clenched his jaw tightly to suppress his anger.

Still, you prodded. “Isn’t it?”

Fred just wanted you to shut up already. So in a moment of fury, he growled and immediately pushed you against the wall and pressed his lips to yours in an attempt to silence you. He felt your shock against him as he parted your lips with his tongue, willing himself to not be distracted by the faint taste of your cherry lip balm. When he was sure you’d be silent, he slowly pulled away from you and let the shock roam through him too.

There was fire in your eyes. You blinked slowly a few times and eyed him up and down, as if trying to make sense of your own thoughts. Fred was sure you were about to deck him for being a right git until you lifted your hand and yanked on his tie and whispered, “Encore. Embrasse moi encore.”

          ↳ “Again. Kiss me again.”

He didn’t need a translator for that, either. He watched you lick your lips before he pressed himself into you again. You both met one another’s hunger with an intensity you couldn’t quite understand, but Fred reckoned this was probably the underlying reason for all of the competition between you two. How could he have possibly missed it all these years?

The idea of heading back inside the classroom for the lesson completely slipped from his mind when you grabbed two fistfuls of his hair in your hands and pressed your chest hard into his. By the muffled sigh you emitted against his mouth, he was sure he was driving you mad, and he was hellbent on getting you to be the first one to break with a moan.

But a low, unamused grunt ripped you apart from one another -- Fred was shocked that something had managed to break the ferocity between you both. You bit down on your bottom lip as you both turned to be face to face with a very disturbed and annoyed looking Mad-Eye, and George cracking up right behind him. You quickly swatted Fred’s hand away from your exposed hipbones, but he was pretty sure Moody had noticed anyway.

“Back inside,” your professor growled simply to both of you. In a lower voice, Mad-Eye continued, “I’ve got to be barking mad -- I did not sign up for this..” George winked at his brother and mouthed something that slightly resembled a Knew it, I bloody knew it, before making his way back into the classroom.

Fred turned back toward you and glanced down at your red and swollen lips. “Ready for me to out hex you again?” he asked with a glint of cheekiness in his voice.

“In your dreams, Fred,” you replied, narrowing your eyes and swatting him across the chest in your usual irritated tone. He was about to drag you back into the classroom but you yanked on his tie once more. The sultriness in your voice that dripped from your mouth made him not want to focus on the lesson at all; he’d rather think about many, many other things instead. “First -- embrasse moi, you prat.”

          ↳ “Kiss me,”

“Mmm,” he replied hungrily, licking his own lips in anticipation of getting you alone later. But he could get you riled once more, right? In more ways than one? He absolutely adored the completely startled and impressed look in your eye when he replied to you in French, “Bien sûr mon amour.”

          ↳ “Of course, my love.”

* vous vous sentez mal, Fred? Ne sois pas si mauvais perdant. - Are you feeling bad, Fred? Don’t be such a sore loser.

* Pauvre, gentil garçon. Tellement naïf - Poor, sweet boy. So naive.

* Sanglant brillant. - Bloody brilliant.

* Tu n'es pas! - You are not!

* Encore. Embrasse moi encore. - Again. Kiss me again.

* Bien sûr mon amour. - Of course, my love.

[mourningbirds1]

mkay mkay mkay Clare I AM SO EXCITED about asking you about DLAIWH because you know I am obsessed with it!!!! Can I be a greedy bastard & do several Questions? If no: only 6. If yes: 1, 3, 8, 13. 😍 🥰 😘

CiCi!💖 Thank you for asking so many questions about Don’t Look. I’m so flattered and, as always, feeling all aglow at your enthusiasm for this story! 😊

1: What inspired you to write the fic this way?

There’s something special about those long, slow conversations that take place between two people in the middle of the night. I love the way you feel less inhibited about sharing secret thoughts, and the intimacy that grows between you. I think it’s something to do with that feeling of being in limbo with another person while the rest of the world is asleep, and by being untethered from your usual reality and the rules by which you normally live.

The characters in this story are quite introverted and would probably be slow to open up to one another in normal every day life, if at all. So I wanted a scenario where they would be thrown together for long stretches in the middle of the night.

3: What’s your favorite line of narration? Sorry, this is three paragraphs instead of a line. Oops:

Javi turns the glass in his hand, enjoying the way it feels. It’s a good glass with a thick base and he likes the solid weight of it. The smell of its contents is familiar and comforting. Woodsy, with a faint tang of phenol. He thinks about how appropriate it is that whiskey smells like medicine and his face twists into something that isn’t quite a smile.

It’s been a quiet day. He spent it in the office catching up on paperwork. He hadn’t even remembered what day it was until he’d reached the Date field on his first report and had to look at the calendar. There’d been a little tremor in his hand when he’d typed it out. And then he had to type it again and again. Over and over on every report he filed all day. The anniversary of something that never happened. Something he wants to forget. How long has it been now? He thinks of those lists. The first year is paper - he knows that, for some reason. After that, who the fuck knows? Lace? China? He wonders who thought this shit up. No one who’d ever left a good woman in a white dress standing outside a church on a hot September day, that’s for sure.

He looks at the phone and considers making a call but he doesn’t feel fit to be around anyone. Not even someone who’s being paid to tolerate his company. But suddenly the silence of his apartment feels too loud and there’s a clawing feeling in his belly. He stands up and then sits down again, conflicted. And it occurs to him that if he went to the movie theatre he could sit there all night in the suspended reality that’s unique to such places, and it would be dark. And he could be alone but not alone.

6: What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics?

This is the only one with a real life setting (Crossroads feels a bit too trope-y to count as real life). So I’ve needed to make sure the characters are behaving, and, crucially, developing in a way that feels authentic. I can’t just have them fuck up against a tree with virtually no preamble (sadly)! I need to build a plot that changes their personalities, and shows them moving from point A to point B in a believable way. This has been very difficult and I’ve definitely made mistakes along the way and needed to do masses of rewriting and re-plotting.

7: Where did the title come from? answered here

8: Did any real people or events inspire any part of it?

I did once have a slow meeting of the minds with someone, via a long series of late night conversations. That story did not have a happy ending, but this one will.

[angeltannis]

lighthearted Tannith headcanons

(Wow, guess I had more to say about these two than I thought 😅)

Once upon a time Lilith thought she was gonna have a pretty standard life, probably marrying Roland and maybe having a kid or two eventually. Then a meteor of chaotic gay energy and absurd scientific inquiry came and blew a giant fucking hole in the middle of her life. Oops

Some of their friends were surprised; their close friends weren’t. Most don’t really get how it happened or what the heck Lilith sees in this dork ass scientist. Even Tannis herself is shocked to discover her feelings are reciprocated. Sometimes she still wonders if she’s somehow conjured a lesbian tulpa that takes the form of Lilith, or if she’s simply gone fully mad and is living entirely in her own reality by this point

But no, it’s real. In a world of traitors and deceivers, Lilith loves and appreciates Tannis’ (eventual) genuineness and honesty, even if it can be a bit brutal at times. And the way she lights up when talking about her special interests or observing something novel and intriguing is too endearing not to fall in love with. 

—

-Tannis is one of those people who sets an alarm 7 days a week to get up at 5am. Lilith has never been seen before 10am.

-Tannis sleepwalks (I mean, this is canon according to BL1). So it’s not uncommon for Lilith to be woken in the night as her girlfriend gets up and confidently strolls out the door mumbling about Eridium or something. At first Lilith tries to get her, but eventually just gives up, because she always comes back and god damn it, it’s too late/early to go chasing after her ass.

-Eventually Lilith buys her a nightshirt that says “if sleepwalking, return to Lilith”

-On nights she doesn’t go missing, Tannis likes to wake Lilith up in the middle of the night with absurd theories and questions.

Tannis: Lilith, are you awake?

Lilith: Am now...

Tannis: Lilith, why does shampoo open at the top but conditioner opens at the bottom? I must know immediately.

Lilith: *rolls over, bleary-eyed, to see the clock displaying 2:54am*

-Tannis writes full paragraphs in text. Lilith is one of those people who only responds with “ok” “Lol”’, etc. (It’s nothing personal, Lil’s just all business and always has a million other things going on at once)

-That said, Lilith likes emojis. Tannis doesn’t quite grasp the concept of them until she realizes they’re essentially modern-day glyphs. From that moment on, she’s a devout emoji connesieur.

Tannis, shoving her ECHO in Lilith’s face: I received a fascinatingly incomprehensible string of Emojis from Moxxi earlier. I can’t wait to sit down and begin deciphering them!

the text: 💋🔥🍑💦👙😈

Lilith: Uh, yeah. You get on that, babe.

-It’s difficult for Lilith to get used to calling Tannis “Patty”. She has a mild dilemma because Is it weird to call your girlfriend exclusively by her last name?? Tannis is fine with either, so Lilith continues to call her Tannis and ignores how weird the whole things seems 🤷‍♀️

-Tannis can talk for hours upon hours about her hyperfixations. Lilith listens with a little smile, occasionally reaching out to play with a bit of Tannis’ hair or trace the lines of her tattoos with a fingertip.

-These are some of the longest “conversations” Tannis has ever had with anyone. She surprises even herself with her enthusiasm for such interaction, and near-total lack of vomiting.

-Lilith’s become so numbed to Tannis’ nutty life that literally nothing fazes her after a while. “Is it true Dr. Tannis has never eaten toast?” someone asks. “Yeah, probably,” Lilith replies

-Sometimes Lil thinks back to how this whole thing only started because she accepted a weird quest on a bounty board to go find some lady’s hidden ECHO logs

-Lilith gives Tannis flowers one day - no occasion, just something she wanted to do. Tannis just stares at them, uncertain as to why in the world Lilith just ripped a bunch of plants out of the ground and is now handing them to her. Thanking Lilith unsurely, she leans in and takes a bite of one of the leaves. “Mm, delicious,” she says, trying to spare Lilith’s feelings

-You know that thing where, after you’re together for a while, sometimes you start picking up the other person’s manner of speech? One day Lilith is talking to Mordecai when he smirks and says “You been reading the dictionary or something?”

Lilith: Mordecai called me a nerd earlier.

Brick: Yeah? So?

Lilith: I’m not a nerd. That’s...

Brick: *waiting with a knowing look*

Lilith, in a small voice: ...preposterous.

Brick: 🙃

-“10 Fun, Exciting, And Potentially Medically Significant Things You Discover While Using A Sex Toy With Your Girlfriend Who Can Control Machines With Her Mind”

-Lilith knows her life has spiraled out of control when she finds herself feeling slightly envious toward Tannis’ various inanimate ex-lovers. Tannis assures her any continued relationship with them is strictly professional. Lilith spends an entire night drinking at the bar, wondering how her life came the point that she’s jealous of a chair.

-At one point, Lilith stumbles across one of many of Tannis’ ECHO logs scattered madly about. She decides to be nosy and listen in. It’s mostly the same old stuff about her Eridian research progress, but - as is Tannis’ way, thrown casually into the middle of the log - Tannis states that her research has been slowed by the intrusion of romance into her life. “I find I’m not minding this as much as I probably should.” At the end of the log, she says, “My motivation has always been advancing the universe’s body of collective knowledge. But perhaps there’s room in a researcher’s life for two dreams.”

Lilith holds on to the log.

-Lilith is the kind of person who can and will eat anything, and has a ridiculously high tolerance for spicy foods. Tannis’ most daring food outing was the time she tried yogurt with fruit on the bottom (and absolutely hated it)

-Regardless, Tannis attempts cooking for the two of them (“Cooking is rather scientific, isn’t it? It’s all about mixing the proper ingredients and preparing them just the right way to achieve the desired result. How hard can it be?”). It ends up like this:

-It’s tough for Lilith to let anyone in, especially after what happened with Roland. Tannis doesn’t ask difficult emotional questions and doesn’t take it personally when Lilith doesn’t want to talk feelings - Tannis actually prefers talking about things other than emotions, since that’s when her low empathy tends to hurt people the most.

Funny enough, that ability to avoid tough subjects is what allows Lilith to fall for her in the first place.

As time goes on, very, veeery slowly, they start to broach deeper topics with each other. It’s basically like pulling teeth on both sides on the conversation. But then, one day, without either of them consciously realizing when exactly it happened, Lilith finds she’s comfortable enough to let out a few tears in front of the other woman - and Tannis realizes that seeing Lilith hurting conjures a feeling in her gut like she’s never experienced before. She’s painfully unused to hugging, but when Tannis wraps her arms around Lilith and sees Lilith’s tears ease up, she suddenly understands why people engage in such acts.

-the first time Lilith says “I love you”, she immediately lunges for the tissues. But it’s too late. Thankfully they’ve both gotten pretty good at washing blood stains out of their clothes.

[punken316]

Whumptober Day 28: Such Wow. Many Normal. Very Oops.

Here is my next @whumptober2020 fic. This one is a sort of a prequel to my Day 7 fic, showing what exactly happened to Thorne. There will be a read more after the second paragraph. I hope you enjoy and feel free to reblog if you do!

- - - - -

Thorne had been wondering why the security in that building was so sparse.

Now he knows. He knows quite well. Because there is a fleet of cars chasing him. Not quite a fleet actually, just three, but it feels like a fleet when he’s just on his motorcycle. He doesn’t focus on how closely they’re following him or how many there are at one time, he just tries to focus on getting away from them.

Which is his mistake he will claim later, since one of their cars comes from a side street suddenly. He is quick enough to swerve and avoid a direct impact but the car still hits his rear tire hard enough to send him off of it and the motorcycle into a nearby stone wall.

Thorne impacts the road on his side first, thankfully not hard enough to break anything, but hard enough to knock the breath from him. He bounces from that and skids the rest of the way on his back further making him dizzy and out of breath.

It takes him a long moment to recover. Long enough that some of them have begun to get out of the cars. On any other day he might try to fight them. As he is right now, he knows that he is in too bad a shape to fight that many. So with his back already feeling like it is on fire, he struggles to his feet and hauls himself over the wall to run into the woods.

The leg he mostly landed on the first time starts aching almost immediately, but he pushes through. He runs without thought and is glad he scouted out the forest beforehand. Because even with his injuries he is able to get away from the men chasing him.

It isn’t until he reaches the tree line behind the motel that the thought to contact his sister comes to him. He reaches to turn on the earpiece and is confused when he feels blood, but ignores that for now. His face falls when the earpiece doesn’t turn on immediately. He keeps his hopes up and tries again. When he hears the sign of it turning on he lets out a sigh of relief and leans against the tree next to him.

“Rose.”

[twistedsinews]

7, 9 and 22 for writer's asks please 😊

7 : How long is your current WIP? 

The one I just set down is something like 250 words out of an estimated 5-7000.  I may be overestimating, but you can see why it didn’t get done by Halloween.  :P

I have a lot of things half-written or locked up in idea stage, but most of them are like that until I sit down with them and hammer them out.  (Fortunately I guess, a lot of things I write don’t go much farther than 1000 words if that.)

9 : What do you struggle most with as a writer? 

Words.

sentences.  paragraphs.

No, my biggest challenge is kinda… focus.  I have enough free time, but I’m terrible with time management, and when I sit down with writing my brain likes to think of everything else but that specific piece I’m trying to work on.  And if I switch to a different piece, suddenly I’m thinking about the first piece again.

Second to basically low self-esteem and perfectionism, which likes to tell me everything I write is garbage especially if I can’t phrase it like the imagery I see in my head, so I may as well not even try.  Which plays right into procrastination’s hands.  :I

Basically, I struggle with myself.  The struggling with the writing part is secondary.  XD

22 : Has your own writing ever made you cry? 

in frustration.

…so, yeah: I kinda do the method writing thing I guess, where I make all kinds of faces while going over dialogue and give myself massive cases of The Feels going through all the emotions second hand.  Not often to the point of tears, and not really after I’ve written the thing and it’s finished, but it’s happened once or twice while writing.

More so in RP writing, though, I think because there’s an unexpected component when you’re writing with a partner and things will swerve faster than you expect and suddenly oops, that fucking hurt, tearing up in sympathy for fictional dumbasses now.

[sundaynightnovels]

11/11/11

i was tagged by the amazing @insearchof-solace​ for this & okay i haven’t actually read through the questions that you’ve given me, but let’s hope that i actually have answers for them  1. What story elements keep popping up in your wip(s)? It could be a personality trait, a setting, some sort of symbolism, anything.

oooh. well okay, right now i only have one wip, but from previous long-form things that i have written (and may / may not ever continue, depending)... of course found family is a huge thing, but also like... having trios as main character groups. yknow, there are always the iconic Three in any great novel / series, and yes i usually do have that too! for like all things out of season there are actually a few groups of trios, like the shou-zhen-lu odd family, the teng-jun-yu(m) eccentric gang, the jun-ren-jia messy relationship people... i also always like having flippant characters & serious characters. yknow what i mean? in any good comedy there has to be a serious character for the stupidity to work, so yea. (though my previous works were not... exactly... comedies). & i like writing banter. all the banter for me. 2. Do you mainly draw inspiration from real things/places/events/people? Or do you get inspiration from other fictional settings? probably more from other fictional stuff, idk. if i see something i like in a show i’ll be like hey how bout MORE of that thing . usually a lot of inspiration comes from sit-coms or something funny that i’ve read.  i do get some inspiration from real places / events but those are... not as often. probably because that requires a lot more research and sometimes midway through i’m like lkjasldjasdksa like i’m kinda planning for teng’s story to be set in around 1930s shanghai and i am not ready for that research yet 3. What major thing drives you to write your current wip(s)? i don’t even know right now. when i was writing the first draft, it was to just get something out there so i have something to work with. now that i’m doing the second draft i don’t really have much driving force except for my endless procrastination that drives my brain to a little of a duUDEEE DO SOMETHING NOW mode and then i write. probably.  4. Is there anything you hate about your characters? eh. hate is a strong word. i don’t particularly hate anything about them, but shou really is too noisy and he’s stuck in his head too much, do you know how difficult it is to write his scenes without getting sidetracked and writing maybe 10 paragraphs of some random digression that he’s made??? (there was a lot of that in draft one that i am slowly cutting away) making zhen do things / especially proper serious stuff is like pulling teeth. jun too. yu(f) is annoying because she is just so caught up with work , like i think almost 90% of her scenes in the book takes place in her room and that’s such a boring setting to work with! and i don’t like that characteristic particularly because i don’t relate (lol) so it’s difficult to write about. i still barely even know yu(m) but that’s my fault i guess. lu and teng are dolls.  5. Which two (or more) of your characters clash the most in personality? Do they ever meet? If they do, what happens? uh. zhen and yu(f) because well, one is lazy and one is irredeemably hardworking. they live in the same apartment block and when they meet, well, yu(f) tries not to engage / interact because getting involved with zhen (even if zhen’s not really doing anything at the moment) is always chaos. always. and she doesn’t need that in her life.  zhen doesn’t particularly want to meet yu(f) too because she finds her constant-rushing-to-work-and-only-talking-about-doing-work annoying, but she also doesn’t like it if she sees yu(f) actively running away / avoiding her so she will, just to be an ass, engage. they argue a lot. 6. How much of your wip(s) do the people around you know about? Are you planning on letting them know more? my current wip? nothing. HA. i might have mentioned to some of them that i’m writing something, but yknow they don’t ever show an interest and so i don’t talk about it.  to be fair, even if they did show an interest, i don’t know how i’d go about talking to them about it. OKAY actually i think there were many like a few who were like ‘oooo what’s it about’ and i just go ‘lol it’s just something really stupid but i love it’ and they don’t question after that, which is. very well i guess. 7. What about history, or which event in history, would you rewrite if it were all fictitious? i love historical fiction! just not sure if i’ll write much of them because laskjdlaskjd so much research (which i love doing, but not like, for the tiny details). especially in terms of clothing?? i hate describing fashion / clothes. i don’t think i’ve ever described clothes in my wip.. okay wait. i think there was once or twice. but still! i also feel like describing clothes are kinda a waste of time . or actually, describing any physical appearance in detail is a waste of time when it comes to me, because when i’m reading a book, no matter how detailed you’ve described your character , chances are, after that first introductory description, i’ve completely forgotten how the said character is supposed to look like and i just visualise them however i want in my mind based on... instincts, i guess. or simply based on what comes up when i’m reading the book. so unless it’s necessary for plot or whatever, i guess descriptions are not my thing. (oops i think i digressed there) okay an answer: don’t think i’d rewrite any historical event! probably 8. Which detail in a book you’ve read impressed you the most? Why? i wanted to give up on answering this because my memory sucks and i don’t remember, but something suddenly came to me! but i also can’t really describe it here because it’s quite a major plot twist but anyway. it was from the Young Elites series and it was great. if you’ve read the book / don’t care about spoilers, you can dm me to talk about it! it was just so . smart! 9. Have there been any happy accidents during the writing process or planning process of your wip(s)? what planning? the happy accident is that i finished writing it. HAHA.  10. Are there any motifs in your wip(s)? Why did you include them? i think i might have mentioned this in some other tag game / post / whatever, but a lot of the motifs are water-related like rivers, fog, things like that. because they’re related to life & death. yup. 11. An extremely rich and pretentious book collector wants to add your book/wip to their collection. The price they’re offering to buy it at would ensure that you would be able to lead a comfortable life (in every aspect, including nutrition and healthcare) until you inevitably die of old age, but they want all rights and claims to your book/wip. Do you sell it to them? If yes, how would you pitch it to them? nope, not gonna sell it to them. giving them complete rights and claims is a crazy idea. it means basically they can do whatever they want to my work and i know that they’d definitely ruin it with by forcing in a heterosexual romantic relationship (i have no romance in my book and i am keeping it that way!) and probably try to do this big twist / unexpected reveal (my book really has no twists) and insert an insidious conspiracy or plot-line, and well, that’d be a really different book then. i think my book is kinda unique because it doesn’t really have any of those points (or much or a plot, really, besides characters just talking and interacting in a common setting) so i’m sure by selling off my rights, my entire manuscript will get like a complete makeover that i might not be happy with. also, he’s a pretentious book collector. my book isn’t pretentious (i hope). it’s full of nonsense! go find some business elsewhere! i’m also pretty lazy to come up with new questions, so i’m going to tag a few people and if you want, you can answer to the same questions! @rhiannon-writes @coffehousecreations @gettingitwrite @lexaawrites @bookenders

[wowdroid]

kpop tag

I was tagged by @acelss thank you!!!! (I hope be tagging anyone because I’m just .... really lazy jsjsjs)

1) 5 favourite groups?

A.c.e, Blackpink,Nct,Epik High,MBLAQ

2) top 5 on your bias list?

Sehyoon, Jisoo, Hyuna, Mark, T.O.P

3)ult bias group and why you love them?

tbh, it’s kinda obvious that it’s a.c.e. they’re so sweet and kind and inspirational, the cutest group. I love their friendship and appreciate all the hard work they’ve done/ and honestly, since I’ve found them ,I noticed that I’ve become slightly more happy and way more positive and ugh, I love them so much.

4)ult bias and why you love them?

if my 45 paragraph on why I love sehyoon that I sent to @eefje-lucky-ace indicates anything, it’s that I’m am wHipped. But honestly I can go on more hours but.... he’s just the sweetest and most positive person I’ve seen? Like he has ways with words that just.... it’s deep, I guess, although that’s not the word I’m looking for, and the ways he comes up with them is cute and funny. And he’s not afraid to talk about what he’s thinking and the way he looks at the other members and fans is so tender and loving looking, it’s the best. And he’s always closely listening to the other’s! I also love his sense of humour and how weird he can get, as well a his small quirks you notice over time! Also his slightly crooked and gummy smile, I love it, especially when his whole faces conveys the smile and happiness! Ialso really love his eyes and ears, they’re very cute. But also, how he completely changes onstage is honestly so interesting and wild to experience and aahhhhhhhhhhh. Also his voice when he sings. He gets me in all the uwus

5) favourite kpop meme

uhhh.....I’m suddenly blanking on memes sjsjsj

6) favourite pic of your ult?

(atm it’s his picture from Black Exclamation, as well as another from them that’s from one of the fansigns)

7)10 favourite kpop mvs

1.Take me Higher - A.C.E

2.The 7th Sense - NCT U

3.Bae Bae - BigBang

4.Peek-a-boo - Red Velvet

5. Voodoo Doll - Vixx

6.Move - Taemin

7.Island - Winner

8.How’s This - Hyuna

9.Stay - Blackpink

10.Doom Dada - T.O.P

8)10 favourite kpop songs?

1.Dessert - A.c.e

2.Tell me What to do - Shinee

3.See u Later - Blackpink

4.new - Yves/Loona

5.Midnight Road - SF9

6.How’s This - Hyuna

7.Boss - NCT U

8.Napal Baji - Psy

9. Here Come the Regrets - Epik High and Lee Hi

10.Smoky Girl - MBLAQ

9) favourite kpop crack video?

I... only watch a.c.e ones and I haven’t watched one since April so ....can’t tell ya

10) favourite content creator within the fandom?

hmmmm......all of them

11) what fandoms would you say you’re an active member of?

uhh....probably just choice/a.c.e

12) take your top 3 biases-fmk or kiss marry kill

kiss - Jisoo

marry - Sehyoon

kill - T.O.P :(

13) if you could be best friends with any idol, who would you choose?

hmmm..... probably Byeongkwan or Hyuna

14)If you could date any idol, who?

..... sehyoon......

15) what’s one kpop album you think everyone should have listened to?

I don’t really.... pay attention to albums so..... adventures in wonderland - A.c.e sjdjdjd

16)are you a soft stan or hard stan?

ngl..... both, tho maybe 65% soft and 35% hard?

17) an idol that makes you go into soft mode?

uhhhhhhh probably Chan and Mark?

18) an idol that makes you want to smash the empire state building with one single punch?

100% Sehyoon and maybe Donghun too

19) favourite vocalist?

daesung and ailee? (and I also looove sehyoon and jisoo’s voice)

20) favourite rapper?

hmmm.... probably Jessi or Jay Park but they aren’t really kpop, sooo uhhhhh.... maybe Mino?

21) favourite dancer?

hmmmm idk

22) things you have in common with you’re ult?

well everyone says.... I guess the weirdness/4D personality? And we’re both quiet irl and we both like biking

23) the most beautiful trait an idol can have?

ooof.... their smiles or ears?

24) songs that will always make you jam along?

love like this - ss501 and dessert & cactus - a.c.e

25) your worst wrecker?

how can I have one when sehyoon exists....

26) any kpop concerts you’ve been to?

yes!! I went to see a.c.e’s sweet fantasy fancon in toronto back on May 19th!

27) favourite choreo?

hmmmm... probably.... the Paradise Lost cover did on mixnine? Or Boss

28) favourite live performance?

that one bigbang concert in japan where they did top of the world, or any of their love song performances!

29) favourite debut mv?

.... I don’t know, oops

30) recommend a rookie group

a.c.e :p

31) a kpop song you could listen o every day for the rest of your life?

love song - bigbang

[writing-wren]

Caved In

Fandom: Voltron: Legendary Defender Genre: Angst and Fluff, probably Hurt/Comfort Word Count: 7117 Summary: “Sure, running head-on into dangerous situations is some kind of signature move of his, but usually it’s just him. He can endanger himself if it means the mission is a success. This time, though, it’s Antok who has to pay for Keith’s recklessness. And it’s all his fault.” [Part 7 of the Mother Hens of Marmora ‘verse. Read all parts on Ao3] 

IT IS DONE. Seriously though, I’m sorry this took so long (even for a monster of over 7000 words). I just kept changing things, and re-writing paragraphs, and I’m still not sure if I’m satisfied with it or even like it at all…

BUT it’s here now, anyway. There you go, @guardianofsillvennium, this is your fault anyway xD Though it didn’t turn out like planned (or your original prompt at all)…

As always, thanks to @paladin-pile for the au in general.

Enjoy~

****************************

They’re back on another ice planet, similar to Eta Dorsi 5 but uninhabited. It doesn’t even have a name, just a lot of snow, ice and emptiness. There’s mountains, too, covered in snow just like the rest of it. Keith doesn’t like it. He has a bad feeling about this, and he doesn’t even know why. But they got a distress signal and as paladins of Voltron it’s their duty to follow it. And Antok’s, apparently. Since that last time Keith rushed head-first into a fight he was destined to lose one member of the pack has been coming along.

Hunk is holding the… whatever the gadget is called he built, if it even has a name. Anyway, it beeps, and it has some kind of radar that tells them they’re getting closer to their target. All of them concentrate on it when Shiro holds out his arm, effectively stopping them.

“What is that?” he asks, looking at the horizon. A white wall is moving towards them, and it’s moving fast.

Pidge pales. “Snowstorm,” she whispers. Then, “SNOWSTORM!”

“Ohhh this is bad. Really bad.” Hunk’s voice is a squeak. “Can we just leave and come back later? Please?”

Shiro nods, keeping his calm as always. “We need to get out of here. Stay together and get back to the ship. Now!”

That’s when the thing Hunk built starts giving off a shrill tone, the little circle they’ve been following stops just a few dozen feet ahead.

“It’s close!�� Keith urges. “What if whoever that is needs help? They’d get buried under the snow!” And he runs off like always.

“Keith!” Shiro and Antok shout at the same time. The Galra immediately starts moving, following him while Shiro makes a quick decision, sees that Antok has already got it and ushers at least the rest of the team back to the lions and to safety. They manage it just in time, the ice cold wind already gaining strength, but they get out of the snowstorm before it can get so bad that it would keep them from leaving.

Once they’re back on the castle Lance says, to everybody around, “Uhhm, guys? Did Keith just run off into a freaking snowstorm? How are we supposed to get him and Antok out of that?”

Shiro sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose before raking his fingers through his hair. “I don’t know yet, Lance. We’ll think of something.” Just for good measure, he tries to contact Keith through his helmet, but there’s no answer, only static. He turns to Pidge and Hunk. “Can you two get a signal from him, find his location so we can get them out?”

Pidge nods. “Yeah, sure, on it.”

“It’s possible he reached the point the distress signal was coming from, right?” Hunk adds. “We should look for him there…”

The two of them leave, already talking about what they’re going to do first.

*

Back on the ice planet, Keith manages to reach a cave just when the storm gets so bad that you can’t see any more outside, Antok right on his heels.

“Keith,” he growls, and the red paladin, whose mind has gone blank for a moment there, concentrated on his goal and his goal only, comes back to his senses.

“Oops.” He makes himself smaller in the face of Antok’s anger, rather out of instinct than a conscious decision. The tall Galra’s expression softens at that and smoothes over into something exasperated but fond.

“Just what am I ever going to do with you? Running off on your own is dangerous.” When Keith looks down guiltily he sighs and holds out a hand. “Come here, youngling…”

There’s forgiveness in his voice so Keith looks up, relieved to see a hand reaching for him, and goes over for a cuddle. Antok is really good at this -cuddling, that is- and just holds him for a while until he speaks.

“We can’t go out there in this storm… Can you contact the castle?”

Keith tries, but shakes his head. “Just static. I think the storm might be messing with the technology…”

Antok just sighs. “I see…” he says. “Well, we’ll have to wait for the storm to let up anyway…” There really is nothing much to be done about it; they’ll have to wait here and try to contact the others as soon as they can. Keith looks around the cave, searching for anything they could use to start a fire -their armor, undersuit and fur, respectively, keep them warm, but itsn’t that what people do in this kinda situation?- but instead finds something else: As he concentrates on looking, offhandedly fiddling with the little flashlight Pidge has integrated into all of the paladins’ armor, his sight seems to improve, and he can make out a small, weakly green blinking device on the ground. With his flashlight on he can see a skeleton just a few feet away from it -the one initially sending the signal?- but chooses to ignore it for now, instead picking up the device and turning to Antok to ask if he, too, thinks that this might’ve been their distress signal. He stops when the other stares at him.

“What?” he asks.

“Your eyes,” the Galra replies, amazed. “They’re… Galra.” He grins, and if Keith didn’t know any better he’d say it’s an actual proud grin -but what would he be proud of? “Your traits are showing!”

“My… traits?”

“Yes! Come here, we’ll try something…” He pulls Keith into his lap and covers the paladin’s eyes with a hand. “Try to listen. Concentrate and tell me what you hear.” Antok’s behavior is weird, but Keith trusts him, so he listens closely.

“I can hear… the storm outside.”

“Try harder.”

“The… your heartbeat? Your breathing.” A pause. “And mine.”

There’s a warm huff of air against his cheek. “That’s good, but you can do better… Concentrate, just a little more…”

Keith tries his best, but he just can’t hear anything else. He’s about to give up when, suddenly, there’s the sound of dripping water, quiet and far away.

“There!” Antok exclaims before Keith can say anything and guides one of his hands up to his ear. Keith will never admit that he ever made the shrieking sound that escapes him when he feels the fur. His ears are bigger, too, and pointed at the end. He’s pretty sure they’re Galra-violet.

“They’re not going to stay that way, are they?” he asks, worried.

“No, youngling. You’ll learn to control it, too. But it’s a very good thing. It means you are coming to terms with your heritage.” Antok is definitely sounding proud now.

“So,” Keith thinks out loud. “If my ears and eyes changed, will other things, too?” He bites his lip, worried. “I won’t grow a tail or something, will I?”

Antok doesn’t answer right away. “You might,” he says, eventually. “You’re half Galra, and a lot of us have tails… but it really depends on your Galra parent. Do you know if your mother had a tail?”

Keith shakes his head. “I don’t really remember her… Or my father, anyway.” He grimaces. “So it’s gonna be a surprise?”

He can hear Antok’s grin in his voice. “Well, if you do end up with one, you’ll see how awesome they are; I couldn’t imagine living without mine…” His tail comes into view, moving slowly, lazily, over the ground. “It can be like another arm at times…”

“Awesome?” Keith snorts. “Who taught you that word, Hunk?”

The Galra growls playfully. “He might have.” A few seconds later all the playfulness disappears, Antok suddenly tensing and standing in one fluid motion, pulling Keith behind him in the process. In the light of the flashlight Keith can see him bare his teeth in the direction that leads farther into the cave.

“Antok?” he asks, frowning, reaching for his bayard. Antok has already drawn his blade. Keith has a bad feeling about this. “What’s going on?”

“Noxu,” he growls, low under his breath, serious now. “Reptiles. Live in trios. Hunt everything that moves. Use your Blade, only luxite can pierce their skin. Dangerous predators. Coming.”

There’s no time to ask any further questions; all of a sudden three of the biggest lizards Keith has ever seen are right there. They are about as big as a young calf, with streamlined bodies and heads like snakes -snakes with lots and lots of very sharp teeth. Antok roars and takes on two of them, managing to even behead one right away. The last one goes straight for Keith, running up the wall and just dropping on him faster than he can react, throwing him down and pinning him to the ground. Keith makes a pained sound when his back connects to the ground and Antok looks over, alarmed.

“Keith!” he shouts, his eyes widening when he sees the paladin immobilized, those lots and lots of very sharp teeth just inches from his face as the Noxu lets out a growl itself. He’s distracted for just a second, but the remaining Noxu he’s still fighting uses that to attack and sinks its teeth deep into the Galra’s leg. In that same moment, Keith manages to activate his luxite blade; it grows and pierces straight through the Noxu’s chest, and the ugly thing screeches as blood spurts from the wound, painting the ground and a part of Keith’s armor dark red. Then it’s still, slumping on top of him, and he can roll it off of himself and stand, just as Antok goes down.

The last Noxu is not letting go of his leg, growling ferally and Antok, unluckily, doesn’t have enough leverage to get in a good hit. Keith has to make a decision, and fast. He can’t just behead it, lest he hurt Antok in the process -he’s not sure if he’d have the necessary strength to do it anyway- and he can’t stab it like he did with the other one, because it’s right above Antok and the risk of stabbing the Galra is too big. His saber is not really made for stabbing anyway. So he slashes at the Noxu’s back, wounding it deeply enough that it lets go of Antok’s leg with a pained screech and turns to Keith, making a beeline for him now. The paladin moves out of instinct, blocking the teeth and redirecting the Noxu, making it crash into the wall where it goes down, unconscious at least if not dead. Keith follows, breathing heavily, and raises his saber to finish it when there’s a low, rumbling sound from above. The next moment the cave goes pitch black apart from Keith’s flashlight, and, looking over at the entrance and only seeing a wall of white, he realizes that it must have been an avalanche. Which basically means they’re trapped.

The Noxu at his feet stirs and Keith decides to get rid of that problem first. What little he could see of Antok’s injury before didn’t look good, but he doesn’t want to be attacked from behind. The easiest way to make sure it’s dead seems to be beheading it like Antok did with the first one, just that he doesn’t possess the Galra’s sheer strength. It takes a few attempts and in the end he’s breathing more heavily than before but the deed is done and he can turn back to Antok. And freezes.

It looks much, much worse than he initially thought -there’s so much blood where the Noxu’s teeth pierced through his armor. When he rushes over to the Galra he sees why he is so awfully quiet; it looks like he lost consciousness, his face under the flashlight is pale and Keith really needs to stop the bleeding; no time to panic. Bandages, he needs some kind of bandages… The only thing he has is his undersuit, so he takes off the upper part of his armor and rips off a few strips before putting it back on. He doesn’t have anything to clean the wound with, either, so all he can do is to wrap it up as best as he can.

“Keith?” comes Antok’s quiet voice when he’s about done. It’s strained and just above a whisper but Keith is so relieved to hear it that he lets out the breath he hasn’t realized he’s been holding in a rush of air.

“Antok!” he exclaims, but before he can say anything further the Galra hushes him.

“It’s okay,” he says. “I’ll be fine.”

Well, he obviously isn’t now, and trapped here like this, without a possibility to contact the others, Keith doesn’t know how he’ll get any better any time soon. They don’t have any food or water, no light apart from Keith’s flashlight, and he doesn’t know how to survive a snowstorm -a sandstorm, yes, of course, but snow? He lived in a desert, not the Antarctic, for fucks sake! And how long is this storm going to go on anyway? He has to concentrate to hear it now, because of the wall of snow in front of the cave, but then he notices the howling of the wind. And even if the storm was over, they’d still need to get out of the cave somehow. Keith would have to get them out, anyway. He doesn’t think Antok could help, not with the state his leg is in; the Galra has lost consciousness again and it’s all Keith’s fault.

It’s Keith’s fault that they’re here at all. Keith’s fault for running straight ahead against any orders. Keith’s fault for not being fast enough to dodge the Noxu’s first attack; his fault Antok was distracted for the second it took the monster to bite him. It won’t get him anywhere to think about this now, though, so he goes over to the skeleton -trying very hard not to think about it as a human, or alien, or anything like that really. It’s just a skeleton, and he’s seen worse if he’s honest. Maybe that guy had something with him… or her, Keith can’t tell and it’s not important anyway. There’s scraps of what must have been clothing, ripped apart by the Noxu, Keith supposes. But a few feet away lies a tattered bag; there’s not much in it, a rusty metal cup with a hole in it and something that… might’ve been food rations, but they’re all rotten and not even recognizable anymore. He wonders how long this distress signal has been sending for… and he was stupid, so stupid, to follow it instead of going back with the others and to safety. Hindsight is easier than foresight, isn’t that how the saying goes?

*

“So, the signal is gone for some reason, but we still have the coordinates. So we should definitely start searching there and just hope that they managed to find cover in time…” Hunk explains; they’re all back on the bridge and listening to what the yellow and the green paladin have found.

“The only problem,” Pidge chimes in, “is that the readings we get from the planet are showing that the storm hasn’t eased up yet. We’ll have to wait for however long it’ll take until we can go back in or we won’t be able to do anything… and we’ll have to act quickly, because we can’t be exactly sure if another storm is going to start anytime soon; we’d need to monitor the whole planet much longer for that…”

“So we can’t do anything right now?” Lance asks. “We’ll just have to… wait?”

Shiro sighs. “I guess we can’t change that. We’ll prepare as best as we can in the meantime. We’re going to get them out of there as soon as possible.”

Nobody dares to voice the unspoken ‘If they’re still alive’ for fear that it might be the truth.

It takes four days, almost five. Almost five days during which all of them get more and more restless, barely getting any sleep. How could they? Keith and Antok are out there -they’re not dead, they’re not, they’re not- without food or water, or warmth, in a full grown snowstorm. Hunk is on a baking spree whenever he’s not with Pidge, trying to locate Keith again, just in case something has changed. Pidge is a nervous wreck whenever she’s not working with Hunk, thinking of new, terrible things to happen to her missing fellow paladin and Antok, coming up with new additions for their portable first aid box together with Ulaz. Lance wanders the castle, trying to find something to do to little avail but nonetheless unable to stop moving, eventually joined by Thace. Shiro and Kolivan, once they’ve done what they could to prepare, spend most of their time monitoring the storm, and Allura and Coran stand by, just as worried and doing what they can but not able to dispel any of the others’ worries.

It feels like a race against time, and they all feel as if they are losing.

When finally the day comes, Pidge is checking up on Shiro and Kolivan and Shiro shakes his head, tiredly, telling her that nothing changed, when Pidge’s eyes go wide, looking at the screen behind them.

“It just changed!” she shouts, and runs off to gather the rest of the team -not the rest of the paladins, or Galra, or Alteans, but team, because that’s what they’ve become- faster than Shiro or Kolivan could.

They know how to proceed. They’ve talked it through over and over again, because there was not much more to be done. They’ll find them now, get them back home and then they’re probably all going to pass out from exhaustion and sleep for three days straight. That’s going to come afterwards, though.

“Alright, team, let’s go get them out!” Lance cheers once they’re in their lions, and there’s a little pause where Keith usually would’ve made a snark remark, but they all ignore it.

“Couldn’t have said it any better,” Shiro says, with a little half-smile and they depart.

*

Keith doesn’t know how much time has passed. He has no way to tell, but he’s still hoping that the others are going to find them somehow. He does trust in his team, and refuses to give up when they certainly haven’t. It’s just… it really doesn’t look good.

Antok hasn’t been conscious in a while, and his leg looks even worse than before; Keith’s no doctor but he thinks it might be infected. It wouldn’t surprise him, since he had no way of disinfecting the wound, and all he had when he had to change the bandages was the tattered bag. He’s ripped it apart and used the strips, but he doesn’t think that was clean, either.

At some point the Galra has gotten a fever; he’s burning up, and all Keith can do is wrap up a little snow in one of the remaining scraps to put it on his forehead. He can watch the snow melt, though, and no matter how often he puts in new snow, the fever is not letting up. By now he can’t hold back the distressed little whines; he’s so worried that he almost forgets his own hunger and thirst.

Almost. But hunger and thirst are beasts of their own, gnawing at his guts and setting his throat aflame, and while the hunger comes and goes in waves, the thirst stays and gets worse with every second. He’s so close to just eating snow -it’s frozen water after all, isn’t it?- but something is keeping him from it. He thinks he’s heard sometime, somewhere, that it can kill you, freezing you from the inside when your body temperature is too low already. So he doesn’t do it -barely. For now. Most of the time Keith’s busy being worried about Antok, anyway. There’s a very real possibility of losing him, and the mere thought brings tears to his eyes he’s not ashamed of. For one because nobody can see them anyway, but also because, while he might be close to all the Galra equally, Antok is still special. He’s not sure why, that’s just how it is.

And now he might die; and it’s all Keith’s fault. Even if they make it out of here in time, how could he look any of them in the eyes? What if they don’t want him around anymore after this? If they make it out alive, that is. He knows that they told him time and time again that he wouldn’t be abandoned again, showed him, too, and he believed them, but after this? This could change everything, he thinks, because he’s never messed up this badly before. Sure, running head-on into dangerous situations is some kind of signature move of his, but usually it’s just him. He can endanger himself if it means the mission is a success. This time, though, it’s Antok who has to pay for Keith’s recklessness. And it’s all his fault.

The only thing he can do is wait for the storm to let up so he can at least try to get through the snow at the entrance of the cave; maybe outside the cave, without the storm interfering, he can contact the castle. He concentrates on listening, knowing his ears must’ve changed once his hearing improves, but he’s getting used to the idea of his eyes or ears looking like a full Galra’s for a while. That doesn’t change anything, though; whenever he listens more closely the only thing he can hear is the howling of the storm.

Until it is not.

*

Before they can even land on the planet, there’s a familiar roar and Red approaches them.

“Keith?!” Lance asks, dumbfounded, but there’s no answer besides a roar before the red lion veers away.

“I don’t think he’s in there,” Pidge says, thoughtfully, and Hunk adds, “But I think she’s gonna show us where he is.”

“Well, what are we waiting for, then? Let’s go!” Kolivan urges, and Shiro nods.

“Let’s follow her.”

Red lands in front of a mountain of snow and stops moving, facing it.

“So Keith is… under the snow?” Lance sounds worried.

Shiro hums. “Maybe there’s a cave or something?” he replies. He’s trying to reassure all of them, including himself, and is about to say more when all of a sudden, Kolivan goes rigid. Without another word the Galra exits the black lion, and Shiro can see the others do the same. Questions from the paladins remain unanswered for now. They can only watch the Galra standing in front of what they suppose to be a cave, heads lowered as if they were listening intently. And then Kolivan roars, an impressive sound, goes still again and looks up at the black lion.

“He’s in there. Both of them. Alive, at least,” he says, as Thace already starts to move the snow away with his bare hands -or try to, anyway.

“Alright then, move aside, me and my boy are gonna do this! These claws are best suited for some diggin’!” And once Kolivan and Ulaz have pulled away Thace, who growls lowly at first, the yellow paladin and his lion start moving the snow. In a matter of minutes half of it is gone, and it doesn’t take much longer before the entrance of a cave becomes visible. As soon as the opening is big enough, the Galra hurry through, followed a moment later by Shiro and Pidge while Hunk remains outside just in case something happens or there’s another avalanche (and really not because he’s scared of dark caves).

*

Until it is not.

There’s a ‘thump’, a sound that’s more than just a little familiar to Keith and he lets out a relieved, half questioning whine when it’s repeated four more times.

Silence. Then: a roar, definitely Kolivan’s. It’s two things at the same time, reassuring statement and question, We are here and Are you there? all at once and Keith has returned a sound that’s not a whine but close, before his mind can even catch up with what’s happening.

It doesn’t take long for another sound to start, muffled through the snow but getting louder and louder until there’s an opening that gets bigger and bigger, and Keith blinks when the light from outside blinds him, but he gets up anyway. He’s made it halfway when Kolivan is coming towards him, followed by Thace and Ulaz. He pulls Keith into an almost-too-tight but much needed hug, letting go easily when the paladin tries to free himself.

“Antok,” he says, or croaks, tiredly, “You gotta get him first, he’s injured and-“

“We can smell it,” Ulaz interrupts. “This whole cave smells of death and pain…” Which, Keith thinks, is accurate enough, since the dead Noxu are still lying there and even though the paladin tried to pull them over into the corner, as far away from them as possible, their smell is not a pleasant one. And Antok is still unconscious and burning up. Without Kolivan’s hug holding him upright, he doesn’t have enough energy to stand even with the adrenaline surge and has to sit down for a moment.

“Whoa!” exclaims Lance in that moment, entering the cave with Shiro and Pidge and waving his hand in front of his face, grimacing at the smell. “I get that you guys are probably celebrating your reunion, but can we do that back in the castle?”

Pidge and Ulaz, who’s looking worried after having taken a first look at the injured Galra’s leg, push a button on a little cube that might be a new invention, because it folds out until it’s a gurney they put him on. The thing floats upwards, until it’s about the height of Ulaz’s hip and they bring him outside. Keith, not able to do any more for Antok but knowing he’s going to be well looked after now, is grateful for the momentary distraction and chance at easy banter with the blue paladin, shrugs. “Yeah well, you try to survive here for… how long has it been anyway?” He grimaces a little at hearing his own voice.

“Five days,” Shiro chimes in. “It’s been five days. And we need to get out of here, asap. We don’t know when the next snow storm is going to happen.”

This time, Keith is not about to go against the order; he can’t wait to get out of here. He can’t exactly walk that far on his own at the moment -far, ha! It’s just a few dozen steps, but what else would you expect after five days without food or water? But when Thace goes to help him up and outside, he growls lowly before his mind can catch up with what he’s doing. It’s not an angry growl, rather part defensive and part guilty, and he knows that the Galra can hear the difference, but he still looks a bit disappointed, even though he leaves him be. In the end it’s Lance supporting his weight until they’re outside, and Keith has never been so happy to breathe fresh air and see Red waiting for him. Their connection has been muted but it’s back now, and he doesn’t know how, but he knows that she couldn’t get to him because she had to put most of her energy into the particle barrier protecting her from the snowstorm.

“Dude, you need a shower,” Lance says, half-jokingly, once he lets go of him to get back to his own lion and Keith scoffs but doesn’t bother to reply, knowing his fellow paladin is right. Sitting down in his seat feels like coming home already, and he lightly skims over the armrests with his hands, feeling Red’s purr through their connection. “I’m sorry I left you alone so long, girl, I’m glad to be back, too,” he tells her quietly.

Kolivan is the last one to come out of the cave, and he gets into Red with Keith, not ready to let him out of his sight just yet. The paladin doesn’t object.

“Take us home, Red,” he says to his lion, trusting her to move on her own this time and find her way back, and how strange is it that he’s come to call the castle his home when he wouldn’t even do that with his shack…? There’s silence after that; Kolivan is not a man of many words, but this silence is not as comfortable as usually. Like the other members of the pack he’s picked up on Keith’s behavior, and he’s not pressuring him into anything -they’ve never done something like that to begin with. But he’s watching him, and once they’ve landed he comes forward.

Unlike Thace, he growls back at him in warning when Keith does, again rather out of instinct. “You will leave this lion either carried or supported by me like Lance did, youngling.” His tone of voice is final, a decision already made he won’t back down from and the paladin doesn’t even try to fight it, ducking his head.

Kolivan sighs. “Nobody is mad at you, kit,” he says. “We are just worried about you; all of us. Come now, let us get you something to eat and drink, and some sleep. Ulaz is going to tend to Antok for now, but I’m pretty sure he’ll want to have a look at you before you sleep; you know how he is.” With that he puts a steady arm around Keith, supporting his weight easily and Keith lets him do what he wants.

You don’t deserve it, though, an icy voice in the back of his head tells him. Don’t deserve help, or comfort; your fault, your fault, your fault.

He still lets them fuss over him, knowing nothing he could do would stop them now; not after five days, but that doesn’t mean their actions don’t make his stomach twist painfully with every touch, the icy voice whispering away in the back of his head, your fault, your fault, your fault. He hides it well enough so they don’t notice -probably just a sign of how tired they actually are. Lance, Hunk and Pidge especially are practically asleep on their feet, all of them staying only long enough to make sure he’s not about to die just yet, and, in Hunk’s case, until he’s made him some toast with butter or at least the alien version of it, before going to sleep. Shiro stays behind to lay a hand on his shoulder.

“It’s good to have you back,” he says quietly.

Keith nods. „It’s good to be back,“ he replies with an already less hoarse voice, even though he doesn’t feel like he deserves any of this. Someone -Allura?- has thrust a bottle of water into his hands at some point; he’s downed half of it in one go and now takes a last sip, feeling slightly nauseous.

The black paladin smiles. “Go get some sleep and we’ll talk tomorrow…” Keith nods, though he’s not sure how well he’ll sleep tonight after all.

The toast Hunk made him -one of Keith’s all time favorites, no matter where in the universe- is light on his stomach, something he’s grateful for, and it tastes just as good as anything else Hunk cooks; he tries to not wolf it down, to take it slow, but still clears the plate faster than he usually would have done. Thace and Kolivan stay with him, looking satisfied at seeing him eat. They’re keeping a distance, since Keith has made clear that he doesn’t want to be coddled right now, but aren’t willing to leave, either. Keith drinks another bottle of water, still incredibly thirsty, though he’s going slower now. Not able to eat anything else, he stands.

“I’m just gonna go take a shower,” he says, and, hearing his tone, Thace and Kolivan don’t even try to come along. That would be the worst. And unlike a few hours ago, his legs are not wobbly anymore, so there’s really no need for them to baby him. He hates that on good days; and this really isn’t one. Not when he’s feeling guilty on top of everything else. Not when he’s feeling like they’re too good for him. That’s a new one; usually he just always feels like people will grow tired of him sooner rather than later or just find out how weird he is and leave. Or he used to feel like that anyway. The pack has never once made him feel unwelcome; instead they showed him that he was never weird at all but just different from other humans.

But maybe that was a lie, with his legs, he thinks, once he’s out of their sight. He has to support himself against the wall, still too exhausted to put his entire weight on his legs for more than a few steps. He’s not sure he can shower like this, not sure he can hold himself upright for long enough, but he can still take a bath. If he ever gets there. He’s slow, like this, and has to take a break after less than half of the way to catch his breath. Which is how Ulaz finds him; the doctor looks tired.

“Keith?” he asks, frowning. „What are you doing here?“ He doesn’t really expect an answer, though -for now at least- and he doesn’t ask any more questions like ‘Where are the others’ or ‘Why are you on your own when you’re still in a state like this’, either. Instead he simply clicks his tongue.

“Well, I was going to get you anyway. Come along, youngling.” His tone is that of a doctor, used to see any orders followed, and Keith doesn’t protest when he helps him to support his weight. He doesn’t know how to feel about it, not feeling like he deserves any help or comfort from them, but at the same time craving it. Ulaz leads the way to a room just a few feet away; it looks a bit like a nurse’s office. The doctor motions for him to sit down and opens a few cabinets until he’s found what he was looking for. He comes back to Keith and hands him a glass with something that looks like water.

“Drink this,” he says. “You’ll feel much better in a few minutes. But don’t be fooled, while you’re going to feel better, your body still needs just as much rest as he would without this. Do not overexert yourself, or the effects will wear off faster than you can say Quiznak, am I understood?”

Keith looks down and nods. “Yeah…” he mutters, and drinks whatever it is in a few big gulps, trusting Ulaz. He does feel better, it doesn’t take long and he’s not even tired anymore, not speaking of the exhaustion. He feels like running.

“Keith. No running.” Ulaz emphasizes every word, but there’s quiet humor in his voice so it doesn’t sound scolding, rather like he expected something like this. Keith really must be an open book to him. “I’ll let you go soon, kit, but I want to check you over first, just in case there’s something I missed…”

He gives him a quick but thorough medical, after which he pulls him into a hug to nuzzle him. “We’re all glad to have you back, kit, you know that, right?”

Keith makes a little sound that’s neither affirmation nor negation. Of course he knows. Doesn’t mean he has to think that’s right.

“Ulaz?“ he asks instead of an answer. “How’s Antok?” Keith doesn’t know if he wants to know the answer to that one, actually. But he’s the one who’s at fault for the Galra’s state.

The doctor gives him a long look, then smiles, ruffling Keith’s hair a little. “He’ll be fine, youngling. I had to operate on his leg, but he’s in the cryo pod now and he’ll be perfectly healthy once he comes out of there.” He pauses. “Keith, how did he get that injury?”

The paladin looks away. “Noxu. One pushed me down and he got distracted and… and that other one bit him.” Your fault, your fault, your fault, the little voice keeps whispering in the back of his head.

Ulaz’s eyes widen a little. “Noxu? Are you-“ He stops himself before he can start another medical; he’s just done one, there was nothing major, no injuries at least, Keith is fine, according to the circumstances. “We’ll talk about that later. How about you go take a shower now and then come join us in the nest?”

Keith nods a little and leaves; looks like he’ll be able to have that shower after all. But once he’s done with that, dirt and grime flowing down the drain in an almost mesmerizing way, he can’t go to the nest. He just can’t, not when he’s messed up this badly. He knows Ulaz said Antok will be fine, and he knows the doctor would never lie to him and that they still want him around -he just doesn’t understand how. So, instead of going back to the nest, he goes to the room with the cryo pods. Antok doesn’t look bad per se, more like he’s sleeping. He’s still pale, though that might be the light, and his leg is far from being fully healed but Keith knows it’s going to be. Keeping watch is the least he can do now, so he sits against the control panel, facing Antok’s cryo pod.

He must’ve fallen asleep, because when he wakes there’s warmth, a blanket around his shoulders and three bodies cuddled up to him. Of course they’d come to seek him out if he didn’t go and join them. They’re dead to the world; they probably didn’t get much sleep this last week, either. Too tired to worry about anything, Keith just goes back to sleep.

It takes another full day for Antok to recover. Keith never leaves his side for longer than a few minutes at a time, to get some food, or something to drink; he’s feeling better already, even as he feels the effects of whatever it is Ulaz gave him wear off. He really just needed rest. A lot of it, but he’s much better now. Kolivan, Thace and Ulaz stay with Keith, and, little by little, he tells them what happened; about the cave, the skeleton, and the Noxu.

Kolivan and Ulaz don’t look surprised at the mention of the beasts, but Thace does. His eyes widen. “Noxu?!” he gasps, „Did you-„ He looks at Ulaz. „You checked him for any injuries, right?“ At the doctor’s nod Thace turns to Kolivan, opens his mouth, but the other Galra beats him to it.

“Yes, I realized back in the cave. I got the teeth.” Thace seems to calm down at that, but now Keith is confused.

“Teeth?” he asks.

Kolivan hums. „Defeating Noxu is no mean feat, youngling, even with luxite blades. The teeth are trophies for you and Antok.”

“Oh.” Keith thinks he’d much rather have Antok safe and sound.

Which is when there’s a hiss and a cloud of steam as the cryo pod opens, letting out a still somewhat dazed Antok. Kolivan moves quickly, catching him before he can fall, holding him until he’s more aware of his surroundings. It’s quite the commotion, because just like Keith, the others have been waiting for this, of course. But the moment he sees he’s alright now, standing on his own two feet with his leg fully healed, Keith just can’t stay any longer. How can he stay with them?

He doesn’t run. He walks. Maybe he walks a little bit faster than he usually would, but he doesn’t run. He ends up in his room -his old room, if he’s honest. It’s still oficially his, but he hasn’t been here in ages. It feels cold and impersonal but he doesn’t know where else to hide. Everything else, apart from the den, is public. So he just sits on the bed, hugging his knees and resting his head on top of them. He doesn’t know what he’s waiting for; he doesn’t even know if he’s waiting for anything. He isn’t really… But something happens anyway, a little while later.

The door opens and Antok comes in, and shouldn’t he be with the others or something? Instead he’s here; sits on the bed with Keith, silently.

“Pretty cold here, isn’t it?” he remarks, after a long moment. His voice is soft, exceptionally so. Keith doesn’t say anything; he feels nauseous all of a sudden. “Keith, kit, why are you here and not with us? We’re missing you in the nest…” And damn, Keith doesn’t deserve this, and he’s not gonna cry. He’s not. He just shakes his head; he doesn’t think he could answer right now. He’s too busy trying to bite back the tears.

There’s a sigh, and then movement, and before he knows it Keith has been pulled into Antok’s lap. He doesn’t know if it’s the reassuring purr, the sudden closeness or the familiar hand in his hair that does it, but he loses the fight against the tears. Keith can count the times in his life he’s cried on the fingers of one hand, and never has he cried in front of somebody else.

“I’m sorry,” he says through the tears. “’m sorry… my fault… ‘m sorry…”

Antok simply holds him close, the hand petting his hair never stopping. “I know, little one, apology accepted… hush, it’s alright now… Nobody’s mad at you, but I suppose that’s not the problem, huh?“ He murmurs reassurances, purrs and nuzzles Keith until the tears finally stop, and the half Galra peeks up at him. “There you are,” Antok says and kisses his forehead. If anybody else tried that, Keith would end them, but Antok is allowed. He’s allowed a lot of things others aren’t. For what it’s worth, Keith feels better, a lot.

Silence spreads, but it’s a comfortable one this time. Antok is the one to break it.

“Say, did you tell the others about your traits?” he asks. Keith shakes his head. To be honest, he’s completely forgotten about it; that little detail simply slipped his mind. The Galra grins. “We should go and tell them. I really want to see their faces…” He ruffles Keith’s hair. “They’re going to be so proud of you…”

And just like that, Keith’s world has shifted back to normal, the guilt not fully gone yet but he’ll get there. He stands and stretches, feeling a good kind of exhausted, and smiles at Antok.

“Let’s go.”

[skarletterambles]

I’m turning 38 in a month and two days, and if anyone thinks that’s too old to be participating in fandoms, please unfollow me.  Thanks.

I’m sick of seeing people on this dumpster fire of a website mocking people my age for caring about fandoms.  (Granted, none of these comments were directed at me personally, but they still sting.)

“Go do your taxes.”   “Nearly four decades on this planet and this is what you’re doing with your life?” “Grow up.”

In reverse order, I reply:

I did grow up.  It’s majorly overrated.  I have a lot more than fandom to show for my time on this planet, but that doesn’t mean fandom isn’t something that I enjoy and invest energy in.  And I pay my taxes every year.  As a single, childless adult who owns no property, it takes less than a half hour.  That leaves plenty of time for other things.

I’ve been into fandom activities since I was a little kid in the ‘80s.  I’m not going to suddenly stop liking those things because I hit some random, arbitrary age.  Nor should I.

Being an adult is hard.  There are a lot of responsibilities and worries, and free time can be hard to come by.

It wasn’t that long ago that we 30-somethings were teenagers and young adults.  We remember what it was like.  So believe us when we tell you that there is no magical transformation that happens at a certain age to make you into an official grown-up.  It happens gradually, until one day you realize you’re doing “adult” things like calling a plumber, shopping around for insurance, and, yes, paying taxes.  But you’re still you.  You’re just you with a lot more responsibilities to worry about, and thus even more need for the fun escape that fandom provides.

So get off my damn lawn and let me enjoy my dragons, space ships, secret agents, knights, and wizards.  Before you know it, you’ll be my age and wondering how the hell it happened and when that annoying pain in your [insert body part here] started.

(There’s another paragraph below but it’s super depressing so feel free to skip it.  You get the idea.)

Being an adult is hard.  There are a lot of responsibilities, and free time can be hard to come by.  Health problems multiply, financial concerns become more pressing, finding and keeping a job is stressful, watching your parents and grandparents decline with age can be slow-motion heartbreak, the more you learn about the world the more you realize how messed up everything is, the more years pass without accomplishing things you were expected to (marriage, home ownership, publication, etc.) the more anxious you get...and you wish you were 15 again so you didn’t have to deal with all this.  Grown-ups need the fun, creative outlet of fandom more than younger folk.  It may be the only escape we have.

Oops, I thought I was done ranting, but...another thing:  I saw some jerk say it was gross to ship characters who are much younger than you are, i.e. shipping two 20-something characters when you’re 40 yourself.  Good luck finding things to ship when you get to be an old fart, then.  Pop culture tends to reserve romance for the young.  I can play make-believe with imaginary people of any (legal, consenting) age that I want to, thank you very much.

Besides, my lifelong OTP is Scrooge McDuck and Glittering Goldie, and they’re both senior citizens in the current time frame, so...nyah.  And I started shipping them at age 7.  :P

It’s also maddening to see how many young fans don’t realize that things like additional decades of life experience can make you able to see more nuance and shades of gray.  Maybe it’s just this website’s tendency to divide things into black and white, “problematic” or “too pure for this world,” but real life isn’t so clear-cut, and the older you get, the more you realize that.

Plus, you know who writes, produces, programs, edits and creates the games, movies, TV shows, books and other media you’ve built your fandom around?  People older than 30, for the most part.  Some of them much older than 30.  It takes time to build a career and hone your craft.  Are there people who are lucky enough to make their big break in their 20s?  Sure.  Actors, certainly, tend to skew younger.  But life does not stop at 30.

Okay, I’ve ranted way too long.  Shutting up now.  But fandoms make me so frustrated sometimes.

[discoursecatharsis]

Today on the Dreamwidth community Fandomsecrets there's a secret about M1la and S@ra being underdeveloped and overrated, and some anonymous commenters are retorting that they're more developed than 0tab3k who has no personality except for the one the fandom made up so they could ship 0t@yur1. I don't know if they're ant1s, but they sound exactly like ant1s minus the pedo accusations. I don't get why there's so much blatant ignoring of 0tab3k's canon personality everywhere in fandom.

(okay I went on a rant and this got way longer than intended oops)

More developed than 0tab3k? lmao, it’s confirmed: ant1s are watching an entirely different show.

I must admit, I need to rewatch the show. 0tab3k may not have been that developed in show (and that can’t be helped because the boy was only in 3 episodes near the end, so it makes sense they couldn’t dedicate much time to him). Despite this, we still got to know a lot about his character from the flashback/becoming-friends-with-Yur1 scene in ep10, the wt//tm manga, and little facts/tidbits we’re heard from the crew here and there. 

But he’s certainly more developed than M1la and S4ra! And they obviously plan for him to be a major character, at least more major than the girls, just from the mere fact that we have more official information on him than we do of the girls**. 

(**We don’t even have a birthday for M1la, and the only reason with have a birthday for S4ra is because she and M1ckey are twins. I’ve only seen the girls’ heights listed in the artwork book. In the guidebook, each girl shares a page with all the other minor characters and has 6-7 lines of a small paragraph for a description. VS 0tabek’s 4-page spread. So yeah, I think 0tabek is the more developed one.)

Are S4ra and M1la underdeveloped? lol yeah kinda! And that’s okay! Because they’re minor characters. I personally don’t find it overrated to like them. People like them because they’re the only female characters who are professional skaters (and female characters in general are the minority in y0i). People can like minor characters for whatever reasons. (Example: I was really drawn to SG before the show even started and I still really like him now even though he’s not that developed of a character, and honestly I couldn’t tell you why I like him so much, I just do. The brooding, mysterious characters are My Type, I suppose.)

Also lol “no personality except for the one the fandom made up”? If any characters have a fandom-made personality, it’s the girls. What do we know about M1la? She dated a hockey player before and is ranked really high in the ladies’ skating. Okay cool. What do we know about S4ra? She’s also a really good skater and has a close bond with her brother and seems interested in SeungG1l. And... that’s about it. Oh and M1la looked concerned when S4ra cried, but if the girl sitting next to me suddenly burst into tears and ran off, I’d be worried about her too, so yay M1la showed normal human empathy! 

And there’s nothing at all wrong with making up “personalities” of characters. It’s in the same vein as headcanons. They’re minor characters, we don’t know much about them, it’s normal to make up our own ideas about their personalities since canon didn’t deliver.  But it’s weird to bash one character for having “fandom-made personalities” when like... fandom does that to all characters (especially minor ones) to some extent. 

I don’t get why so many people ignore 0tabek’s character either. They don’t have to stan the guy, but goodness, I wish they’d at least recognize and acknowledge that “oh he looks like he’s gonna be a major player in the story.” Like what did 0tabek do where people hate/disregard him so much? He’s just a pure boy who wanted to become friends with Yur1 and win a medal for his country, that’s it. 

[ecotone99]

[MF] Pier 39 in COVID-19

The water is still. Empty and silent, Pier 39 has never looked so different. As I walk down the pier, peering into each empty restaurant, I remember all the times I have come to eat here, my favorite place in San Francisco. Under the street lamp, I stop to retie my shoe, the shoelace so old and rubbery that even a double knot always comes loose.

There is the carousel. I could climb over the gate and sit on a horse. But that would require touching the gate, and given the times, I know that isn’t safe. Pushing my hands into my sweatshirt pocket, each hand grasping the other for warmth but also comfort, I turn around. Three seagulls are on the ground in front of me, the largest cocking her head as if to say, “What is this person doing outside?” Of course, I pull out the bread crumbs I have saved from lunch and throw them. The seagulls look like they’re smiling, honestly; I wonder if the birds miss the commotion of human beings out and about?

Bzzz. My cellphone vibrates and shakes me awake from a daydream about eating cookie dough ice cream. It’s just a notification from WhatsApp, my mom forwarding a paragraph about how there’s no violent crimes on the news anymore. Usually WhatsApp forwards are just uncredible news articles, but this forward is actually interesting and pretty accurate. All you see on TV was COVID-19, COVID-19, COVID-19.

Twenty minutes later, I’m walking alongside the water. I was humming, but as I walk, I get the confidence to hum louder and louder. Eventually I find myself singing along to the music in my knockoff AirPods. I haven’t seen a single person walking all day. This is the perfect place to practice social distancing while being outside.

Suddenly, a high pitched, jarring sound brings me to my feet. Ripping out my earbuds I look around on the dock. Is someone hurt? I have CPR skills! Not that I’ve ever used them, but I’ll definitely try if needed.

Then I hear it again, a little more clearly. Oops. It’s actually a whistle, not a scream. Armed with a gun, a police officer steps into my line of vision and walks towards me. I didn’t even know that police actually use whistles. She stops a respectful 7 feet away from me.

Her eyes are silver. The lines on her forehead are deep as if she’s been permanently glaring at people for years.

“Ma’m, are you aware that you are breaking the law right now?”

“No…nonono I didn’t, what? I didn’t mean to do anything,” I stammered.

“You’re supposed to be sheltered in place right now. Part of the law also states unnecessary going out and about, and Pier 39 is closed right now.”

I was surprised to hear this. I just wanted to go for a walk, and since there wasn’t a gate closing the pier, I didn’t think there was harm in entering. With a low voice, I explained this to the officer.

“No. It’s not safe for you to be out here,” she murmurs, taking two steps closer to me.

“Okay, I’m sorry. I will go to my car right now and go home.” Quickly I start to walk past her, in the direction of my car. When I’m no more than a few feet away from her, I feel her fingers tightly grab my upper arm.

“You know, there isn’t a single person out and about right now. I should actually punish you for breaking and entering,” she said. No wait, not “said.” Snarled.

In the harsh yellow streetlight under the evening clouds, her messy blonde hair looks like it has beads in them. I almost chuckle, despite the situation. I remember when having beads and feather clip-ins was the trend, back in elementary school.

She’s still glaring at me, waiting for a response. I better compliment her, and see if she becomes a little nicer, I think.

“I’m sorry. I really am. I didn’t know I couldn’t come here alone, but I assure you that I’m going home right away…”, about to compliment the beads in her hair but deciding against it.

The officer rolls her neck around, cracking it, stepping towards me and edging me towards the dock end. I have no choice but to keep stepping backwards. I want to stay six feet away, for goodness sake.

We get to the edge of the dock.

She’s still snarling at me. I don’t know whether to be scared or confused. Think, think! What does she want from me?

“Do you...do you want some money? Are you cornering me?” I weakly ask. I remember my parents telling me about corrupt police officers who scare civilians into bribing them.

She steps right into me, close enough for me to see her silver eyes glaring at me. For a shy, non-confrontational person, this is quite the story so far, I think to myself.

Then I see them. The beads hanging in her hair...they’re not beads. They’re...they’re...murder hornets? The dead bodies of the bugs are stringed and hanging from her hair.

That’s the last thing I think before she pushes me by the head. I feel myself losing balance, unable to scream as the only thing coming out of my mouth are gulps for air.

I see the officer looking over the edge of the dock at me, peering through a pair of dark sunglasses, which she notably wasn’t wearing earlier. I feel my head go fuzzy and I put my head below water, unable to keep it above. The water is still.

submitted by /u/limeade778 [link] [comments] via Blogger https://ift.tt/3dJx8q1

[poop4u]

http://bit.ly/2E0NviG

Potty Training Dogs — 9 Tips for Success http://bit.ly/2UksOrS

The post Potty Training Dogs — 9 Tips for Success by Casey Lomonaco appeared first on Dogster. Copying over entire articles infringes on copyright laws. You may not be aware of it, but all of these articles were assigned, contracted and paid for, so they aren't considered public domain. However, we appreciate that you like the article and would love it if you continued sharing just the first paragraph of an article, then linking out to the rest of the piece on Dogster.com.

Potty training dogs, whether you have a new puppy or an adult dog, can be a messy, unsanitary and frustrating enterprise for dogs and their people. But potty training dogs is almost always possible — the vast majority of dogs can effectively be taught appropriate elimination behaviors, with a little consistency and patience.

However, your dog may have a medical issue if she seems to “leak” in her sleep; she consistently has accidents with loose stool in the house; her urine is especially dark, strong-smelling or more frequent; or if she has always been reliably trained and suddenly begins having accidents in the house. If your dog is having any of these issues, you should talk to your vet.

Here are our top nine tips for potty training dogs –

1. Supervise

Supervision is key when potty training dogs. Photography © alexsokolov | iStock / Getty Images.

“She always seems to go the second I look away!” I usually recommend tethering dogs to you or a nearby solid piece of furniture (unless you have a giant breed, then you may need to drill in a tether point). You must be able to watch your dog at all times when you are home and she is out of her crate. If you are unable to supervise her, crate her! Once she is reliably eliminating outside, you can allow her longer periods of time without direct supervision.

2. Crate-train your dog

Most dogs can be taught to love spending time relaxing in their crates, and crate training can be a wonderful thing when potty training dogs. Susan Garrett’s Crate Games DVD is a great resource. For some dogs, the crate is already a place where dogs potty, or it is a scary place: If so, you may want to consult with a trainer on alternative management options.

3. Clean up after previous accidents

Don’t overlook this when potty training dogs. A lot of dogs will eliminate at the scene of previous accidents over and over again. This is usually a sign that these spots have not been adequately cleaned in the past –- often, owners have used conventional cleaning products rather than enzymatic cleaners specifically designed to clean up and remove the smell of pet waste (we use Nature’s Miracle at the classroom).

While regular floor cleaners may mask the smell for us, the superkeen noses of dogs can detect residue from previous accidents, which becomes an olfactory cue to return to the scene of the crime and reoffend. A black light, used in a dark room, can give you a visual cue as to where further cleaning is needed -– place a towel over any places that fluoresce, so you can find the right spots to clean once the lights are back on.

4. Give lots of opportunities to potty

The more chances your dog gets to “go” outside, the more likely she will be to learn quickly and get it right more often! Go to the same spot each time, wait (ignoring your dog) until she goes and then give her a treat! If you go out for five minutes and she still hasn’t gone potty, you can bring her back inside, put her in a crate for a short while and try again later.

Check out some tips for getting your dog to eliminate on command >>

5. Reinforce good behavior

When potty training dogs, give your dog a treat immediately every time she eliminates outside. She should be on a leash, right next to you, and you should always have treats (something she really likes -– for your dog, a “treat” may even be the toss of a tennis ball). For maximum benefit, only provide this special treat when she potties outside. She will quickly learn that going outside pays off. If you want to take your dog for a walk, you can use a walk as a reward for appropriate elimination by saying, “Good girl! Let’s go walk!”

6. Don’t punish

If you catch your dog in the act, a quick “oops!” followed by scooping her up and taking her outside to finish is your best bet. If the accident already happened, clean it up, but don’t punish your dog. I know many dogs who have developed coprophagia (a dog eating poop!) as a result of being punished when accidents are found. Now your dog still potties inside but the spots are harder to find and her kisses are, um, yucky.

7. Make arrangements for long-term confinement

It is unethical to expect dogs of any age to hold bowel or bladder movements longer than they are physically able, and then to get angry with them for having accidents. If you must leave your dog longer than she can be expected to hold it because of her age or health, provide a dog walker, a pet sitter or an alternative area where it is acceptable to eliminate.

8. Know when your dog needs to go

Remember — when potty training dogs, your pup provides cues, too. Dogs don’t usually have a good “poker face” -– most dogs offer pre-elimination behaviors or cues. Some will turn in circles, others will sniff, some dogs will head toward a corner, scratch at the ground, etc. Understanding your dog’s signals will help you better plan your trips outside.

9. Feed on a schedule

Dogs who eat on a schedule generally poop on a schedule. Free feeding can make potty training dogs a challenge.

Barring medical problems, even old dogs can learn new tricks and better manners. Potty training dogs takes consistency and commitment. These are just beginner tips, but a good trainer can help if you aren’t making progress.

This post was originally published in 2012. 

Thumbnail: Photography © cmannphoto | E+ / Getty Images. 

Read more about dog training on Dogster.com:

House Training a Dog? Try These 5 Tricks

Puppy Training — How to Prep for the First Two Months

Have a Fearful Dog? Keep These 6 Things in Mind

The post Potty Training Dogs — 9 Tips for Success by Casey Lomonaco appeared first on Dogster. Copying over entire articles infringes on copyright laws. You may not be aware of it, but all of these articles were assigned, contracted and paid for, so they aren't considered public domain. However, we appreciate that you like the article and would love it if you continued sharing just the first paragraph of an article, then linking out to the rest of the piece on Dogster.com.

via Dogster https://poop4u/blog May 8, 2019 at 02:42PM DMT.NEWS, @Casey Lomonaco, @pooop4u

[spookypostparadise-blog]

7 essay tips for an amazing TMA



7 essay tips for an amazing TMA

Creating a high-grade Tutor Marked Assignment (TMA) that you can be proud of is not an easy task. When I first started with the Open University I was guilty of making some basic errors before I accepted the fact that I was going wrong and it was time I formed a clear idea of the fundamentals components that make up a successful TMA essay. I’m sure that you love the hyperbolic title of this post. Seven tips towards an “amazing” TMA. Not an average one or a good one, or even an excellent one, these tips will hopefully lead you to an amazing end product. Seriously though, I have written about these nuggets because I believe they are very important.

Each TMA is different and the questions will demand a specific approach, argument or research point but these 7 hacks are applicable to 99% of the TMAs you will attempt during your studies. I didn’t start off as a Grade A star student and my early endeavours with the Open University were difficult as I struggled to find my groove. But gradually my marks and confidence improved as I worked out strategies to help me tackle each assignment. Here are some of the basics I learned:

1) Get started and keep working

Procrastination can be an absolute killer. When there’s a tough TMA to be completed we can suddenly find ourselves grouting the bathroom tiles or cleaning out behind the washing machine and generally doing anything and everything to avoid getting down and dirty with an impending essay. Sitting in front of the computer with a blank Microsoft Word document open, cursor blinking furiously back at us can be intimidating. Don’t let it be – just write. Scribble down your name, the essay title, thoughts on the essay, initial ideas, anything related that comes into your head. This “freewriting” can help loosen you up and remove the curse of the blank page. Hey presto the document isn’t blank anymore and you’ve started your essay!

2) Read the Question and Answer it

You’ll be surprised how often this is overlooked. Each question needs an answer and no matter how well you write, how well you research or argue your case the question needs an answer. Some TMAs get no answer and just end up as a ramble (oops, you should see my earlier attempts!) some are just regurgitated ideas and information on a page while others might answer a question but, sadly, not the question. First things first, read the question. Then, if need be, scrawl down a rough answer and later use bullet points to elaborate on it. Be explicit about what you’re attempting if you have to but make sure the question is answered.

4) Nail your argument and conclude

Following on a bit from number two here but answering the question and producing a strong conclusion or summation of the main points are interlinked. Of course there will be a few bits in the middle to worry about but coming to a conclusion is extremely important as is making an overall case for your argument. Don’t forget to also take into account counter arguments to show you are comparing and contrasting viewpoints and balancing the TMA.

5) Give it a thorough edit

Make sure you have adhered to any style guides or especially the accompanying notes and cut out any irrelevant material or chunks of filler that do not add to the argument or flow. Check paragraphs are well structured, balanced and hold together in the greater context of the TMA, i.e. by furthering the argument, adding an element, explaining it and wrapping it up before moving on.

Proofreading your document is a must, to catch all of those niggly typos, punctuation drops, spelling mistakes, citation errors and other things that you will find within. Everybody approaches things differently but I prefer to write everything down, assemble it into some sort of order and edit at the end rather than going along. Editing constantly and finely while the TMA is in progress could stifle or halt that progression.

6) Do your best and don’t plagiarise

It goes without saying that passing off somebody else’s work as your own is a big no-no. Plagiarising is not only an unethical practise but it could likely see you not only getting stripped of marks but kicked off a course altogether. Taking on board concepts and ideas and trying to present them in our own words can be a tough task but it is wholly necessary. The easy nature of cut and paste on a computer can make it extremely tempting to grab a chunk of text and put it in to the essay but it is not worth it.

7) Embrace feedback and learn from it

Did you enjoy this article or find it useful? Please LIKE/TWEET/SHARE and drop a comment below with your thoughts. Do you agree with the 7 or feel that there should be others added to the list? Let’s get the conversation going and help each other move forward.

Click here to read more of our articles and thanks again for stopping by.

You’re welcome Sarah. Thanks for reading!

Thank you for writing this. I’m on my first module and today I received my tma05 grade which was 63% and I feel so disappointed:( I’ve been ill with glandular fever the past 6months, so studying has been really difficult and maybe I’ve not been dedicated enough. I feel my grades have just gradually decreased throughout this first module and I feel like giving up but I know I can’t. X

Thanks so much for your feedback Chrissy! Great to hear it is helping out 🙂

but how do I set it out? like the layout?

Yes, use the layout as a guide but ask your tutor for further advice if needed.