#then mike and will bc im so emo for them

[plaguethewaters]

i am having. so many au thoughts and i should not.

[imatotallynormalteengirlok]

I need this st season 5

i rlly need a nancy + Jonathan + will + mike scene in s5 it would heal my soul. It's such a great dynamic aswell like: older brother who loves and cares and provides for his younger brother and would do anything to protect him from any form of harm, his younger brother who has been through immense trauma and seems helpless and over sensitive but is acc a badass and can fend for himself, the most girlboss girl boss you will ever meet who owns tons of guns and will fight for anything she believes in and her lanky sproingly emo brother who is pathetic at fighting but will anyway .

Like I NEED both the bylers to team up and fight something. Also bc im pretty sure jonathan knows will likes mike but he hates mike so it will just be him constantly watching over will to make sure mike doesn't upset him again. And idk why but I rlly want a nancy and will gun scene like I think they should both go shoot something together while Jonathan and mike just watch while being totally in love.

Anyway there's just so many great dynamics and we never rlly see them all together so yeah.

[basicallymikewheeler]

sometimes i think about the cast and general production team of st constantly saying “mikes just trying to be normal” cus like…….hes reallly not? and hes never really tried?? like this fits lucas or el more cus both of them try to live a normal life but when lucas brought up to idea of being popular and normal mike was just like “uhhhhhhh no thanks ew” in s4 so like??

season 1-2 his whole gimmick is that him and the party are nerdy and geeky and thats what makes them so cool. hes obviously bothered by the bullying, but he just doesnt make any effort to be normal

in season 3 is probably where this applies the most, because of him wanting to act more mature and do grown up things because he had spent the last 1/2 years fighting upside down monsters and would just like to experience having a normal teenage-hood… but even then HES not trying to be normal if you know what i mean? he still loves nerdy things and the only thing thats really changed is his constant revolvement around his girlfriend???

but even then his obession is kind of justfied because:

after they got will back from dissapearing, mike revolved around him for ages too. going to his appointments, waiting for hours next to him/with the party in the hostipal.

and then eleven “disappears” for like a year, and he does the same exact thing so in my head he’s not trying to be “normal” hes just relieved to have her back yknow? just like he did with will when he came back.

in s4 interviews specifically this narrative of mike trying to be normal is mentioned and im so confused cus like thats the season when hes literally trying NOT to be normal. its literally made a point by eddie that he was embarrassing when he was basic, and that hes cooler now (when he was talking about how first day of freshman year they were wearing clothes their mums picked out). they custom made clothes for him to be edgy and made him grow out his hair.

the best explanation ive seen is that they are hinting to his internalised homophobia. the reason the only thing that hes tried being “normal” at is having a girlfriend. trying to hide suppressed queer feelings by trying to do the most textbook straigh thing, make out with your girlfriend constantly. but even then i dont 100% believe that this is the reason?? because thats the same season dustin was obessed with his girlfriend and he was still one of the not normal ones… (also bc of the point i made in the s3 paragraph)

mike has never really tried to be normal. he literally becomes emo in season 4, the season where they stress this narrative SPECIFICALLY. just rlly confused me

[ellellen]

‼️TW: bad english‼️Wait.. Wait, wait. Just before we start, yall need to get to know the charachters, and some past before all that chaos.. right? lets start. (there all r 15-16, execept ppl who have siblings) James, evryone think the apocalyptic started bc of him. hm, you will find out. or you wont? anyways he is in a group with 2 other ppl (basically an group of three) and he is an litlear jerk. He always bullies ppl and stuff. Anways next is Noah, He is in a group with James. He is rlly dumb. Not to be mean or smth but he cant even think staigh. He'll be walking norrmally looking staight and he will bump into smth. Anways he is too dumb to even bully, he ends up making fun of himself. And the last one in the group (main 3) Loga (short for logan) He is probably the most normal one. he dosent speak too much tho. He is just there to be there.. yk? anways they (main 3) used to bully allot of ppl (yall will meet them on the way) and they used to know alot of ppl. Ill just mention some. Ethan, he used to be rlly sweet and carring. Thats why he was made fun of in the first place. one day he just dissapired. Is he still the same? I guess well find out. Next is Mike. He is rlly mean and kinda of jerk. Anwyas he used to be made fun of too. But ppl kinda fogot aboth him. Him and Ethan used to hang out like alot. Anways lets meet some of the girls then get onto present. Luna, She is pretty smart and intelligent. She is pretty too. Alice, She can be smart if she wants too. She only cares ab her beauty tho. But i can say. She is stunning tho. Next is Scarlett, she is pretty smart, not only in school but when ot comes tho thinking. She is rlly strong too, and emo. Probably talest one. ???? ohh, well she is ?????? nothing much ab her. Anways "presents"



Noah: Uhh guys? I think there's something like rlly weird outta here. Somone is green. he is falling apart. im so confused..

James: NOAH GODAMMIT. ARE YOU HIGH RN? YOU INTURUPTED OUR FINALE GAME.

Noah: Um no..? Go look, he look goofy ngl.

James: Loga, go look.

Logan: bro why me.

James: bc. now go look.

Noah. Also, i think the school is burning. i saw fire.

Jame: WHAT. BRO. GUYS RUN OUTSIDE

Noah: Guysss. I kinda forgot to tell yall but the teacher told us 3 hour's ago to get outta of school..

James: NOAH. how in the fuck could you forget that.

Noah: sorry, dont blame me that the tacher is lazy to tell yall.

Logan: Guys please. dont start fighting, we can all co- OH LORD YALL RUN.

James: WHAT WAS THAT.

Logan: ZOMBIES YOU DUBASS. ZOMBIIES.

Noah: WHAT. OH LORD. IM GONNA FAINT.. O LORD.

James: stop being dramatic. We need to find other ppl..

Logan: yea. James is right, we would be stronger. but at the same time th-

James: og stfu. Lets just find other ppl

Logan: Okay.. whatever you say.

Noah: guys, maybe we shall order food?

James: Noah you fucking idiot, we cant order food, who do you expect to bring us food? A fucking fly?

Noah: damn chill out i was just asking..

Logan: I mean we can just go to store and get food, we just need to be fast.

Noah: Guys, what will happend to Allen?

James: Who in the- Ah who is Allen

Logan: Its his sister, how do you forget, god yall r stupid.

James: shut up, you are always here to say smth

Loagn: anywas we can just go get her

Noah: yall somone is behind yall

James: dude. RUN.

*after like 20 mins*

Noah: Guys im outta breath. Wait..

James: YALL ITS FAST ASF. RUN.

Noah: Wait i cant.

*while with girls*

Luna: Girls, we really need to find an place to stay at.

Scarlett: We can stay at my place.

Alice: Okay ig if we need to. i just dont want to get my new dress dirty. It costed like alot "sobs"

Luna: yea.. whatever you say.

*at Scarlett's house*

Alice: ig its fine as long as my stuff dosent get dirty.

Scarlett: Og gosh. Alice i swear to god stop complaning.

Alice: Shut up, you stink.

Scarlett: What did you just say to me.

Alice: that you stink.

Scarlett: you will stink once i throe you outta this window to the zombies.

Alice: id like to see you try.

Scarlett: Oh yeah? Well-

Luna: guys just stop it. We have bigger problems to deal with.

Alice: yeah. okay. anyways, where is Lisa?

Luna: damn. i forgot ab her. ill call her to see if she is okay. "Calling Lisa"

Lisa: Gu..s.. H...Wh..d-d..i ya..l call me?

Luna: Hi Lisa, can you come over? btw i cant hear you very well. the connection is rlly poor.

Lisa:.....Come..fiv..e.mi.. "hangs up the phone"

Luna: I think she will come.

Alice: okay great!

Scarlett: We can clearly see who you like and dislike..

Alice: Yea, im happy that you noticed!

Luna: Huh. who could that be.

Scarlett: ill go get it

Alice: Ill come With

Luna: Same

Scarlett: Okay

????: Um. Hii, hope i can stay over for a while

all: oh. my. god.

[rageofdyinglight]

All of my thoughts and reactions (that i remeber) to tma season 1 + the first 7 episodes of s2 because i didn’t get the chance to really live react

…

- heavily attached to jon but i can’t tell if i want him or want him to be my father

- actually had to skip most of ep 6 because it grossed me out too bad

- there’s so much reliance on remembering stuff from earlier episodes BUT IM STUPUD

- live laugh love gerard keay stupid emo ass

- dreamer is BY FAR my favorite episode it’s SO COOL the idea of the husks of almost dead people in the not quite right city, it’s actually really funny because i have a ttrpg character i’m playing right now that has a very very similar concept, down to the death omens, black tendrils, and even the pulsing red light leading to somewhere

- i tend to spoil myself for the sake of i want to know more about hyperfixation but can’t consume content fast enough to satiate so i’ve been looking into the entities and it’s fun to try to piece together which entity the ep is based around (bc i think that’s how it works)

- how did jon not realize the construction guy that pulled the tree up in ep 8(i think) is the same guy the priest saw pull up a tree in ep 19/20 what is he stupid even i figured that one out

- i’m having a terrible time here for someone who doesn’t really like body horror

- killing floor made me want to throw up easily most uncomfortable listen for me

- ep 31 is just a dude from europe experiencing Average Appalachian Activities lmao

- i must have missed them talking about jane before because when it started coming up originally i was so confused about what was going on

- as soon as they mentioned the delivery guys (likely the ones from the 2nd ep with the coffin) bringing that table i KNEW someone was going to get yoinked and i was RIGHT

- why was gertrude kind of a badass

- live laugh love mike crew

- seriously i cant wait to find out more about what was chasing him (<- his ass LOVES lightning imagery)

- LIVE LAUGH LOVE MICAHEL DISTORITION

- the technical effects on its voice is SO cool oh my god just the subtle clips and echos that add into the inhuman-ness is GRGEGHRGRGGRGR i’m biting at my enclosure

- also off handedly i wonder if michael is somehow tied to the bone tuner thing? bc it mentioned that dude having the long fingers and distorted limbs or whatever idk

- looking forward to more tales from tim on joe spooky

…

AND THATS IT FOR NOW- loving the show so far i’m excited to watch it unfold

[eefonline]

okay EEF. hi! you’re gonna get compliments now

just wanted to talk abt your music taste. ur emo music tastes are obviously awesome and thanks for the recs a while back! (you can give me more if you want just sayin) and your music taste is superb. mcr? TOP TIER, no duh. even tho i don’t listen to them often, they’re still awesome and probably one of my fave bands (not just music wise, how well known n stuff)

ok but remember when me you n oliver were talking abt byler and laufey and when you brought up that promise was so mike coded? yea you guys are awesome i think that time will be in my mind forever (spinning it around in the microwave of which i call my brain)

ok i know you had a scott pilgrim hyperfixation before the anime came out and i never really understood why (didn’t see the movie or read the comics i’ll read the comics dw) but oh my god. now ik why you like it so much it’s so. near and dear to my heart just. THE CHARACTERS AND THE PLOT my god. magnificent

ok but you’re super duper kind and have talked to me a lot and are super funny. cracks me up like an egg fr. you’re an extrovert (ik ur personality type started with an E) and super easy to talk to (/pos btw) and it’s nice to talk to you because of that. we could be talking about byler and then start talking about something completely unrelated.

anyways happy new years, see you in 2024!

DERRICK I MIGHT CRY WHAT THE FUUUUUUCCCCCKKK. IM SORRY 4 SUCH A L8 REPLY BTW I WAS HOSTING A NYE PARTY W MY IRLS

ANYWAYS IDEK WHERE 2 START. I SHOULD PROBABLY SOTP USING CAPS BUT FUCK THAT. OK SO. FIRST OF ALL, HAPPY NEW YEARS I HOPE UR 2024 IS SO CRAZY GOOD ‼️‼️‼️

NEXT, I WANT 2 SAY THAT U HAVE BEEN SUCH A GOOD MUTUAL AND FRIEND UR SO FUNNY AND SILLY AND IT’S FUCKING AWESOME UR COMPLIMENTS R HITTING SO HARS BC WAAAKWKSM

ok i think im good now n can stop using caps. ur so real!!!!! i fucking LOVE spvtw spto n all of its related content ITS SO GOOD 😭😭 I AM SO HAPPY THE ANIME HAS INTRODUCED MORE PPL TO IT IT’S A BREATH OF FRESH AIR OR WTEVER THAT 1 PHRASE IS

ACTUALLY FOING ALL OVER THE PLACE THIS IS NOT IN ORDER I AM SOOOO SORRY. NEXT, i also remember that!!!!!! it was so fun 2 talk about!!! i think i have fun talking 2 u in general ngl :]]]

THANKKKK UUUUU 4 THE COMPLIMENTS ON MY MUSIC TASTE I LUV MUSIC SM SO ITS SO GOOD TO HEAR SOMEONE ACTUALLY ENJOY THE RECS I GIVE THEM

also just realized that “done with cpas” thing was a lie SORRY IT JUST FEELS RIGHT!!!! n e ways tysm again!!!! i thought abt saying more but noen of it would make sense asi am so tired 💔 happy new years, finn :]]]]]

[nowordsformylove]

hope you dont mind me adding my own responses to this post :)

The Monkees

Sweet Young Thing

More of The Monkees

Laugh or When Love Comes Knockin', I am also very fond of Apples Peaches Bananas and Pears

Headquarters

I Can't Get Her Off My Mind

Pisces, Aquarius, Capricorn & Jones Ltd.

She Hangs Out (my fave) also loveeeee Star Collector

this is probably my favorite album tied with missing links 1

The Birds, The Bees & the Monkees

Magnolia Simms <3 or I'm Gonna Try

Head

Daddy's Song easily but I also really love Can You Dig It (Micky version)

Instant Replay

Shorty Blackwell I also really love Rosemarie (I listen to both versions frequently bc I cant decide which one I like better lol) and Smile bc it does always make me smile thanks Davy :)

The Monkees Present

Mommy and Daddy alt. version, but I also love Never Tell a Woman Yes this song is so fun

Changes

Midnight Train or Acapulco Sun

Pool It!

Gettin' In, easily

Justus

I personally dont like this album that much 😔 picking Circle Sky seems like a cop out so im going to say Oh What a Night. I cant even pick You and I bc I really only like the Dolenz Jones Boyce & Hart version

Good Times!

She Makes Me Laugh and Love to Love

Missing Links vol. 1 (only counting the songs that arent re-releases from previous albums, tho the way I have them sorted in my playlist might be wrong)

very hard choice for me. If You Have the Time, Party, My Share of the Sidewalk, Teeny Tiny Gnome, and Lady's Baby (I will not listen to the bbm version >_<)

this is thee Davy album for me all his songs are so good

Missing Links vol. 2

I Prithee Do Not Ask for Love (Micky verison but I also frequently listen to the Davy version too)

Missing Links vol.3

Look Down, Penny Music, and How Insensitive bc it makes me emo and Mike's voice is soooooooooo good here (it always is but something about it here aughhhh)

what are your favorite songs from each of the Monkees albums? ^_^

WAHH this is a tough question but here we go!

The Monkees (1966) - Okay I may have over listened to this album because it was the first Monkees album I heard in full but imma say Papa Genes Blues and Sweet Young Thing. When I first watched the Monkees Mike was my favourite (I wanted to BE Davy but Mike was my fav then) so I have a soft spot for these songs. Also the guitar in Sweet Young Thing sounds kinda like the uillean pipe to me so… bias.

More of The Monkees (1967) - Your Auntie Grizelda is like tied for my fav Monkees song so obviously gotta say that. Then maybe When Love Comes Knockin, Laugh, and of course, I’m A Believer. This is possibly my fav monkees album though so tough choices.

Headquarters (1967) - Another tough picking but imma go with Randy Scouse Git (one of the first ways I heard about the Monkees), No Time (it’s fun what can I say) and Shades of Gray because it’s a pretty duet.

Pisces, Aquarius, Capricorn & Jones Ltd. (1967) - Okay this album has like no skips so wahh. I would say all of them but that’s CHEATING so Salesman, Cuddly Toy and Don’t Call On Me.

The Birds, The Bees & the Monkees (1968) - I underestimated how hard this would be. Daydream Believer, Writing Wrongs, Magnolia Simms, Valleri

Head (1968) - Long Title (Do I Have To Do This All Over Again?), Can You Dig It? (But Peters version because the voice thing he does. I don’t think I ever listen to Micky’s version except when watching the film), Daddy’s Song, Ditty Diego and Circle Sky (the version where he does the grunt thing at the start? Don’t get me started @.@). I think that’s nearly all the song songs off the album so whoops

Instant Replay (1969) - Through the Looking Glass, I Wont Be The Same Without Her, and Tear Drop City!! And You and I … for obvious reasons <3

The Monkees Present (1969) - Listen to the Band, Mommy and Daddy (Alternate Version, slay Micky), and Oklahoma Backroom Dancer (every time I shuffle music it plays this.. I can’t escape)

Changes (1970) - The final two, wah. 99 Pounds, that songs addictive. And Do It In The Name of Love and Midnight Train (it’s fun!)

Pool It! (1987) - Peters so fit in this era and that’s all I think about when I think of this album. Anyway, Heart and Soul, Gettin In annnd Every Step of the Way

Justus (1996) - I wont lie, I’m not sure if I’ve listened to this album in full whoops but Admiral Mike, and I Believe You (idk if that’s controversial or not)

Good Times! (2016) - The only Monkees album cd I own <3 You Bring the Summer, She Makes Me Laugh, Me & Magdalena

Oops I forgot Missing Links! Gonna put all of them together and say Nine Times Blue, Tear the Top Right Off my Head (all time fav) and My Share of The Sidewalk!

Okay I think I rambled a bit, my apologies. But thank you for asking!! :3

I’d also like to hear everyone else’s favs!

[jonoosa]

I am so emotional rn i just love!!! Stranger things so much

[clownspiral]

saw your michael ship hcs and. do you have any for michael & og!Elias bc. I'm love them

oh bestie i have hcs 4 everything involving michael

if we're talking michael shelley x og!elias:

- elias is chill & laid back, while shelley is a bit more goody-two-shoes. they even each other out a lot! shelley has a fun party side that rlly only elias can bring out of him, and elias is honestly super intelligent when he has a lil guidance

- michael is always surprised that elias wants to hang out with Him, esp outside of the institute, but they have more in common than either of them wouldve thought. both are real artistic & into music

- gertrude thinks elias is a bad influence on michael but michael just. Likes him. he's kind of torn between wanting to be a model assistant & secretly wanting 2 goof off w/ elias but hanging w/ elias is always like, 100x more fun

- michael is kinda anxious abt pot. the 1st time he does it w/ elias hes like "oh my god im going to die. im going to JAIL and im going to DIE" and elias is like "...dude....... i love you im not letting u die in jail ok" & mikeys like "..ok..."

- elias is a gamer & michael barely understands video games. he's happy to just lay w/ elias & watch him play

- michael is into some things elias finds painfully boring (puzzles, board games, stamp collecting, etc) but he involves himself in his hobbies anyway cuz he loves how happy those things make him

- michael had an emo phase in uni & elias had a preppy phase & neither lets the other live those phases down

- they make pinkie promises, mostly for michael's comfort. elias thinks it's really cute

- they both survive on questionable diets (& encourage each other to maybe... eat a Real Meal here & there, preferably together)

- michael is like hhwuhqhqjhw <333 when elias lets him wear his dirty ass cheeto-stained hoodie. he would usually be Grossed out but it's elias so it's fine (more than fine)

- shotgunning central. that's all

if we're talking michael distortion x og!elias:

- michael gives elias weird Spiral Cannabis & it's like, mind-shifting beyond human comprehension & michaels just like =>) do u like it

- michael is surprisingly good at handling elias's bad trips, considering its whole like. existence is basically a Bad Trip

- elias LOVES michael's laugh. he thinks it sounds so cool & will Not hesitate 2 make a fool of himself in order 2 hear it

- michael can do crazy tricks with smoke & elias is usually so high that hes just like "wwhoaoaah mikee thats crazzyy"

- michael desperately wants to protect elias frm gertrude, fearing that she might make him into just another dead assistant. it gets kind of paranoid abt leaving him alone & checks up on him @ work quite a lot

- elias spends Hours trying 2 figure out how the hell michael's anatomy works but ultimately accepts that it simply Does Not Work

- theyve both got a strong connection 2 cats 4 some reason, both of them like. immediately drop everything whenever they spot a stray cuz they Must pet it

- michael is more comfortable showing ALL its traits 2 elias, human & inhuman. it can't imagine that goof wanting 2 do any harm (or ever being capable of it)

- they both bring each other a lot of little trinkets. michael's careful not to misplace the things elias gives it, even tho it's kinda hard Not to lose things (his gifts r Special!)

- gertrude is like "bouchard what on earth are you doing..." when she finds out abt it but neither michael nor elias will be convinced to not continue their romantic endeavors

[fandomfoundmyart]

stranger things for the ask game :)

@emo-mike-wheelerr thanks for the ask!! this is one of the first ones i've gotten lol

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most): tbh i'd say mike bc im constantly thinking abt him and his internalized homophobia

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped): umm... i guess will?? he's like this (◕ᴗ◕✿) one minute but like, will is also batshit insane like ಠಗಠ🔪 if u hurt his friends, like he would kill for them i think

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave): joyce!! she is a badass and a great mom!

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week): alexei, the poor bby didnt deserve to die, he just wanted a cherry slurpie :(

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave): idk does murray count?? he's funny but like, he's kinda rude and obnoxious

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason): uhh, grigori (the russian guy who was after hop and joyce) i hate him so much and i want him to suffer 🔪🔪

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell): brenner. no explanation needed.

[lovingfinn]

love that was created from lust hate

pairing mike and will

made from a random thought

no grammar so yay 😀

context:

what if season five was like

a version rebel will gone emo and shit and then will is like besties with vecna and shit bc vecna had hit up will from max and so it went like

THIS IS A JOKE ‼️‼️‼️

ring ring ring 📞📞🥱🥱

will said on the phone 📞 “ hey bitch can u do somethin for me

vecna on the phone 📞 “ bet what u want yk i can slide a deal in for my ride or die ong ‼️‼️‼️😍😍😍”

will on the phone 📞 “ thanks bitchhhhh alr so i want u to drag mike like snatch his soul you know what im saying like i want him with barb bc if i cant have him no one can on some yandre shit ‼️‼️”

vecna on the phone: “ YASSS SLAY GAY KING‼️‼️‼️💀💀its abt damn time u said that ive been wait for u to forget abt him and his wack ass hair cut ‼️‼️‼️💀💀”

will on the phone 📞 “ thanks bestie ok love u bye 💕💕💕”

vecna on the phone “ no worries when a bitch needs help im here for it and the tea 🍵”

ends phone call

ofc after vecna gets to work

eleven “ omg mike ily

mike “ ilyt”

vecna watching them “ ugh straight’s 😬😬🤮🤮🤮🤧🤧🤧😷😷😷”

nah jk

kinda

then eleven sees mike floating like a bird and eyes rolled back as if he just got a blowjob…. nah jk anyways

in mikes mind

he sees will standing there in all black and eyeliner

mike “ will?? GET ME OUT OF HE-”

will “LET ME SPEAK!!! “ he says as he cuts mike off “ U COULDVE CHOSEN ME BUT U CHOSE A DAMN GIRL WITH A BUZZED CUT AND BTW HER NAME IS BASED OFF A NUMBER CHART!!! AND YKW IM GAY FOR U EVERY DAY” 😩‼️‼️‼️

mike “oh yeah?”

vecna “ GURLLL DRAG HIM 🥱🥱🥱”

will punches mike where it hurts and slays 😳

mike “ ouch 🤕”

will “ anything last words before vecnussy gets u??”

mike “ uh will im gay too and for u forget el i want u”

vecna “ gasping 🫢 🫢🫢🫢🫢🫢🫢”

will “ byler is confirmed

mike “ byler?- ykw nvm lets go out for ice cream?”

will “ YES YES PLEASE”

mean while mike wakes up

eleven “ MIKE OMG”

she tried to hug him but he pulls away

mike “ i dump your ass”

he walks away and meets will outside as vecna watches from above

vecna “u go gurl another day another slay periodttt 😍😍🥱🥱🥱🥱😩😩”

will and mike ride the same bike as will holds onto mike like he did in his wet dreams as they fade in the distance

and eleven watches from afar with rage

LMFAO 💀💀💀

PURRR 😍😍😍

part 1/???

lmk if u want another

[spanishinfluenza]

💖💜💚CONGRATULATIONS ON ANOTHER HUNDRED fans, YOU ABSOLUTE BEAUTYYY 💖💚💙

Now, to celebrate, if you had to rewrite all the twilight novels, in short, what would take place?

This is a hefty ask so feel free to cut it down as much as preferable.

(I.e. New Moon; Bella gets rebound. Volturi sub subsumes Edward. Carlisle cries. Then goes on a find himself venture where he ends up livin’ his best life 😎)

this has been sitting in my inbox for a real minute. i can only apologise but wow what a good and also colossal question. i can only thank you

I'm not usually one to shy away from long ass text posts and i love giving needless detail which is why if i were to answer this as thoroughly as i want to, I'd likely never finish. this would get so fuckin long. Why? bc bro i'd change just about everything. Twilight is full of so many fantastic ideas but they're all executed terribly and with vehement racism. i love twilight i just hate all the canon content. i literally just wanna change all the plot but that makes me think about so many possible au scenarios that i'd love to explore and they'd all require their own posts to do so, so for the dash's sake im jus gonna go through the saga book by book

Twilight

Bella moves to Forks from Arizona to live with her dad that she hasn't spent much time with in a while. Things are awkward and not just because they're not so familiar with each other but because they're both awkward people and I love that. Over time, being better understood and taken care of by Charlie, she comes to realise that her mom was actually super shitty, even if she didnt exactly mean to be. She starts to realise she has a good amount of childhood to mourn. But I think Charlie could do more in terms of fathering - I think he should be a better cook (he has taken care of himself for several years like he says) because Bella taking up the cooking for this parent too doesn't sit as right with me - especially because it informs nothing else about the plot. Let Bella be a child again.

This brings me to my next point about the human crew: Bella being a child means that Bella should get friends. And she should CHERISH that. She's so quick to ditch the humans when she finds some supernatural emo to hang out with and it sucks. Jessica, Angela and Bella becoming a powerful and tight af little trio would have been fantastic. I think Bella could then do wayy better at bridging the gap between the Cullens and the humans.

I think Bella needs to not fawn over Edward so much. Not saying she shouldn't be quite as obsessed as him as she is - she's 17, let her live - I just think that her obsession should come from the fact that this guy is creepy af and super morbid. I think she should obsess over him the way I obsess over true crime stories - morbid fascination and curiosity. I mean the guy is weird af, it'd be great if Bella called him out thoroughly on all his whackass behaviour. I also think it would serve to give us a lot more funny scenes. That post where she slides a copy of dracula across the table and he slides it back signed? Yes. What i'm saying is, fans know that this typa friendship would evolve into a wayyyy more compelling romance than simply brood, brood, sparkle, endanger, save, brood.

More of the above but Bella inviting the Cullens over to the lunch table (or maybe just Ed and Alice as they're in the same year) would be fantastic. And instead of that whole "the Cullens are so hot so no one talks to them", let it be "the Cullens are so weird??? like dr sexy and mommy milf are bomb but the kids do not know how to act" because that would make for some more really great interactions. Mostly tho, Edward needs to interact w more people. He hears peoples thoughts and yet learns nothing about them because he's so sure he interprets other's thoughts in The Correct Way. I feel like actually chatting to Mike and Ben and Jess would give him some necessary humbling. Also,, Mike and Edward ending up as friends?? Alice and Jess?? would get on no?

Everything else can proceed as is but let the older Cullens rag on Ed a bit more. Bella has hugely rose-tinted glasses on when it comes to him like "omg he can play piano too? what a perfect specimen" and it'd be great to hear from characters that know him better to balance that out and correct the unreliable narrator. I also think this'd give us a better chance to explore the specific dynamics in this very complex type of family. The idea that Esme and Carlisle are seen as everyone's parents when theyre like a few years older than everyone else is just so unrealistic. It'd be wayy more interesting to see the precise types of relationships that occur within the family.

This brings me to my next point quite neatly: the whole parent situation. I don't believe the two twenty somethings can or would be convincing parents, to the kids or to strangers. Just because sm*yer thinks 30 yr olds are old and dicrepit, doesnt mean the rest of us do. So i'd personally make Vommy and Vaddy in their late 40s, early 50s for the sheer pilfacity of it all. That's not to say I hate their ages as they are - there's certainly a beautiful and heartbreaking tragedy to their incredibly painful and short human lives. So if you wanna keep them young, thas cool but then their dynamics w the kids need to change. Either way they're both still hot as balls. I think Esme should have a very motherly role to Emmett and Edward and a sort of guardian relationship with Jalice. She's incredibly close with Rose but more as a wise older sister or fun aunt. Their stories are strikingly similar in regards to their experiences of men, and yet they deal with it in incredibly different ways - let them be besties, let them learn from each other and find comfort in each other the way that sisters often do. Conversely, I'd give Carlisle a very paternal relationship with Rose and Edward and takes charge of Jalice in a similar way to Esme (coven-leader style). Emmett on the other hand makes him feel young and boyish and Carlisle views him like a charming and dear son-in-law. AND I'D MAKE THEM ALL INTERACT A HELL OF A LOT MORE.

I'm talking Esme giving chores, Carlisle telling Edward to "listen to you're mother", the two of them being cute and adorable and the kids all groding out bc Bella should get to see what real love is.

When Bella does find out that they're all vampires, she needs to be violently curious. Talk about the logistics of periods sm*yer so help me god. I want her to have heaps of questions for them. Constant, just all the time. She wants to see Emmett down a redbull just to know how that would affect a vampire, she finds things for Edward to very boredly snap in half with his little finger, she compiles a list of questions for Carlisle everytime Edward takes her over to his house. Am I projecting now? Too bad idc.

I didn't really have an issue w the whole James thing and I'm actually glad it was more Edward's behaviour that caused the whole beef bc I like when he's in the wrong lol? But when Renee shows up at the end, let Bella's internal monologue note the fact that Renee hardly cares at all what is going on. I think Bella needs to have that interaction w her old life in Arizona to truly reaffirm at the end of the story that she belongs in Forks. Not with the Cullens or Edward, but in Forks w her weird interspecies friendship group, her awkward and caring dad and her just-about-flowering love interest.

Baseball scene was great though I wouldnt have had Esme just trauma dump on the poor teen out of nowhere. Maybe something plot related could happen that reveals some of her story? Just an idea smeyer. Say the presence of the other vampires makes her uncharacteristically nervous. Say the growling between James and Edward freaks her out bc its a sure sign that violence is about to ensue. You get what i'm saying

Also I'd make Emmett canonically Black, Alice canonically Asian-American (if anyone has any specific thoughts on this pls hit me up) and Esme canonically Ashkenazi Jewish. It'd take a single sentence for each and it would rock my socks.

New Moon

I'm gonna start this one by saying that I actually liked New Moon which is weird considering I live and die for carlesme content. But in regards to Bella's story, I think it was interesting to have the Cullens fuck off for a bit. But then, if Twilight had have panned out with a more convincing and healthy romance, I dont think that seperation would have been necessary.

Either way, I know immediately, I'd want more of that classic Bella and the Cullen kids at school scenario. All of that juicy content is barely washed over in the start of new moon and it sucks bc the Cullens at school is such a hilarious concept to me. So maybe we wouldn't start w Bella's birthday but we'd get more of her Junior year, and more of the budding romance - I'm talking that real lame high school shit. Passing notes in class, gossiping in the hallways, going round to his house after school to 'study'.

So anyway, her birthday rolls around and Jasper nuts over a singular drop of blood - give me a deeper description of Esme trying to control herself bc she is known to have little control and the idea of cuddly caring mommy trying not to go feral and eat you is deliciously terrifying - and Edward loses the plot and leaves. But he DOESNT do the whole Gatekeep Girlboss Gaslight routine where he just completely erases himself from her life. He tells her the real reason they have to leave - she's not safe - and she is mad and does not accept it but at least he was honest.

Then she gets hella depressy as per the book, only this time Charlie properly steps in BECAUSE WHO IS BETTER ON THE SUBJECT OF SUDDEN BREAK UP THAN THAT POOR BASTARD? He ends up taking her to the Blacks where she revives another part of the childhood that needed mourning - her friendship with Jacob.

I love Jacob in NM and I do not hate his crush on Bella. But he is like two years younger than Bella. That's not a big deal if they're in their twenties but there is a big developmental difference between an 18 year old and a 16 year old. She should, by no means, fancy him back. And I never really got the vibe that she did in the book. In fact I loved his sweet pining because his friendship with her came first. She needed a friend and he was willing to step up to the plate. And Bella considering a life with him? That rubs me the wrong way because not only is he quite a bit younger but she also be going through it. Give the girl some time before you give her another love interest, smeyer.

So then Jacob turns (none of the wolves cut their hair for this in my rewrite, fuck off) and there's not really all that much I would change with the rest of the book, in terms of plot. Though the tension between Jacob and Edward coming back should be nothing to do with his crush, just to be clear. It should be to do with upsetting Bella and, ultimately, endangering her, Jacob's entire family, and the entire town of Forks with his very presence.

The end of NM kinda fucked me off a little. First, Harry Clearwater's death was completely washed over. I'd love him to have survived but even if he didn't, wayyyy more of the book should have centrered around that loss. This time, Bella is the one to try to heal and help others. She is not the victim and that is freeing for her. Not to mention, Jacob, Leah, Seth, Billy, ffs even Charlie, would have all needed support. Bella should have been there. That's her family.

Secondly, the entire ending was just Bella being like "I cannot sleep for a moment because this is a dream that he's back I love him so much." No. Bella, you found yourself in an Edwardless Forks. You found your childhood friends, you connected with your dad on a profound and vulnerable level, you had to reconcile your perception of the world with the presence of MORE supernaturals in ways that went far beyond your crush on Ned. Bella moved beyond the need for Edward and she should have made him well aware of this. She should have shown him that she now runs with humans and werewolves and she has friends and family and Harry's death is just another painful reminder that there is more going on in her life now than just the crush she had in junior year. Edward should simply be another addition in her whackass life, not the whole of it. Edward being humbled by this new badass, scorned Bella? That's a compelling romance. Bella making the distinction between needing and wanting him is a compelling romance.

Also recentering Bella's story away from her romance with Edward would give us more room for very necessary world-building. We got the tiniest smidge of vamp history and culture w the Volturi in NM and then nothing else for basically the rest of the saga and I reckon thats because Bedward pining took up too much time. So now with Edward in the background a little more, we get necessary interactions between Bella and the other Cullens, and their experiences of vampirism. Even just passing comments on coven politics or vampire mannerisms (Esme purring) or vampire history or maybe other supernatural creatures?? there's gotta be more than just shape shifters and vampires?? or even just tidbits from their experience of history - would have been so immersive smh

Eclipse:

Okay so now im changing a lot of shit.

First off, Jacob remains Jacob. He is young, world on his shoulders, going through a lot. But an assaulter? Hell no. Jacob loves Bella and is slowly limping over his crush on her.

Newborns army is wreaking havoc in Seattle only this time, when Jasper mentions he was a confederate soldier, Bella loses her goddamn mind as she fucking should have. Or better yet, Jasper could just?? not be a confederate soldier?

If Alice so much as tries her racist shit with the Quileutes, Bella can equally chew her out. This is Bella's story dammit and the Cullens are on thin ice as it is for what they did to her in NM. Now she's a bad bitch and now she has a real spine and doesnt tolerate crap.

The wolves and the vamps have to reluctantly work together to defeat this army and this time IT DOESNT ALL GO THROUGH BELLA. Rosalie and Jacob get along on account of them both being into mechanical engineering and both thinking Edward is a toolbag. Equally, Seth and Esme are both little bottles of sunshine and I need at least a passing comment about them chatting in the field together. Also Leah and Emmett? I feel should have had a chance to get along with each other. She was fucking going through it man, she needed wayyyyy more screen time. Her story was heart wrenching.

The battle ensues and Edward does not follow Bella and Jacob to the cliff top. This does give Jacob and Bella a chance to talk, to air out the romantic feelings and where they're at. In truth, I think Jacob has too much going on in his life now. He's mourning so much of his childhood, as well as Seth's now, that romance would feel like another loss at this stage. That conversation needed to happen. And then hooray! Victoria doesnt follow them to the cliff and Edward can get his heroic murder of her afterall. I would like to have seen the battle though, so I think Jacob being called back to frontline for whatever reason (and having to bring Bella with him ofc) would be sweet. Then we can have Bella confront the true violence of vampirism.

Also aftermath. We need Bella to understand the aftermath of that battle. For example, Esme struggling to cope with the violence she's just witnessed and exercised, Alice being injured, Carlisle performing vampire surgery to leech stranger's venom from his children's wounds. They should have been more affected by this battle imo.

Breaking Dawn:

never happens

at the end of Eclipse the Volturi show up and realise just how insanely powerful the Cullens are, especially with their ubelievably strong new allies that are designed to kill vampires. They report back to Aro who's obviously going to want to mount an attack against them all. Then we get sexy Carlisle bringing in his sexy vampire friends (for more world building!). At this point I think it'd be cool if we include more species. Siobhan has half-fairy friends? Benjamin tells stories of real serpopods? Nice.

The night before the battle Alice has her vision. She shows Aro on the day of the chaos. Very few survive the battle if it goes ahead. Bella does, but only once she is turned. Carlisle, famously, does not. Neither does Aro, but this time it's Esme that slaughters him, full Molly Weasely style.

Aro changes his mind, with a very wary glance to sweet, unassuming, unaware little Esme and they head home to Italy to not think about bothering the Cullens or their many friends.

Then the Cullens make the decision to move away from Forks. Their presence has posed too much danger to the human residents, not to mention the absolute havoc they've wreaked for the Quileutes. They move on, Billy makes Carlisle promise to never come back. Carlisle keeps it. So Bella is left with a decision to make. Follow the vampires? Stay with her human friends and family? i dont have a conclusion worked out for that, sorry

[bagilgulhaze]

Stranger things s2: insists on love triangles

Me: wow look at all this thriads, never thought id get sm happy polyamoury relationships in a show, and the gay rep? Iconic

[pinwheel-plant]

ok so i have SO many thoughts about ssas and i wanna just ramble abt it so here we go

(massive spoilers under the cut!!)

- TRIKE???? TRIXIE AND MIKE??? THEYRE DATING?? im like 😦😦😦😦😦😦😦😦😦😦😦😦😦

- JESSICA SHANG ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE WEVE SEEN YOU,,, literally four whole books

- catherine and alexander kiss already challenge come on every day it doesn’t happen im miserable

- bjorn and dane b like i can be your angle or yuor devel

- WHEN BEN GOT THROWN OVERBOARD OH MY G0D??,,, and when mike saved him,,,.., aughhghhg

- el diablo gives me cyrus if he was chill and also a drug dealer vibes

- side note cyrus wasn’t even mentioned at all in this book???? is he dead??????

- MURRAY EMO BOY HILL,, he really said “im gonna blow up a cruise ship and also the panama canal and ive been planning this since book 3 ❤️”

- when alex was hallucinating and thought he was a ship captain and committed mutiny i was like yes!!! go!!!! youre doing amazing!!!!

- THE ZURRAY…………..

- THE HALE FAMILY HUG???? HELLO????? IM GOING TO BURST INTO TEARS JUST THINKING ABOUT IT YOU CANT DO THIS TO ME!!!!!! Catherine wanting to go with them to defuse the nuclear bomb but not being able to bc her leg is broken and just. Hugging them goodbye??????? im literally insane suing for emotional damages

- “Keep an eye on our girl” (PUNCHES A WALL AND SOBS)

- THE BERICA KISS??????????????? ERICA SAYING SHES RETHINKING HER NO RELATIONSHIPS RULE????

- the ending letter with project x is making me insane i cant wait another year for ss10 ill implode

aaaaand that’s all please talk to me about these books i love them so much

[kurtanaaa]

RAE! Im going around bothering everyone. Tell me your strangest Glee headcanon. not sad. not happy. , but strangest. just be fking weird.

ALEX thank u for bothering me i like talking to you. thank u for this ask i am about to talk talk talk at you. anyway my strangest glee headcanonS (bc i have several even tho some are not that strange) are as follows:

mercedes eats whole tomatoes raw like an apple and sees nothing wrong with this

tina once asked kurt to jazz up mikes wardrobe and they were going through his clothes and found the most fucking massive pair of khakis youve ever seen. like just the widest legs known to man. from that moment on mike was only known as "Big Pants Mike" in everyones phone contacts

quinn can make the 😌 face perfectly. its disturbing

sam can shred on the mandolin

rachel drinks so much water. like. all the time. and as a result she always has to pee. everyone else tells her that she definitely has a UTI and should go see a doctor but she doesnt miss thing just drinks like a gallon of water a day

finn owns a bedazzler and occasionally he attacks upholstered furniture with it

blaine cant focus on anything unless hes chewing gum

santana is an expert at deals on grocery shopping and every single mom goes to her for advice. she knows all the lima parent gossip because of it and then promptly shares it with mercedes and tina and kurt over wine

artie once attached spikes to his wheelchair. no ankles went un-owied

kurt experimented with emo fashion in eighth grade. it did not last long

tina is obsessed with david attenborough documentaries

sometimes puck makes their drinks at parties and they are all bad. the others inform him of this and drink them anyway

sometimes brittany likes to hang out in the dryer

[ablednt]

Welp, now I'm curious about what they did in total drama island, but also too afraid to look it up asfjk

Okay so i watched the compilation with one of my besties in like. 2019. So my memory isn't the best but off the top of my head

Used the term MPD and personalities even though it hadn't been used either clinically or in the community for decades when the show was made

One of the headmates immediately is pulled into front when they're topless

One of them is a girl and when she fronts they magically spawn lipstick and eyeliner/mascara i guess she's also an athlete so she can do all this shit the body normally can't

There's an evil one and you know it's him bc he has emo bangs anyway he does a bunch of mean shit i guess

At one point he imprisons everyone in the headspace and when the host mike goes inside it's LITERALLY a brain. Like. It's all brain texture. They didn't even try to imagine a headspace it's all just organs man.

Something happens i forget what and all the headmates except mike disappear and he's singlet again (this isn't fusion they're just gone) and he's like haha yay im normal now and that's like...the end of it