#then last night there’s this chinese smoker on i think it’s floor 1 or 2 (us floor 2 or 3 - im on 4) & he was smoking outside once & i just

[bibleofficial]

so the majority of my building seems to be chinese so i’m just going to learn mandarin via cultural osmosis

[brattyblu]

(Day 2) The Childhood Friend

It’s been three weeks since I’ve seen Jacob. His phone sends me to voicemail for the seventh time, and I wonder if I’ve been too clingy. I’ve only sent him ten text messages and seven calls in the last few weeks, each carefully thought over and debated before inevitably unlocking my smartphone, but I had to talk to him about that night. Things were weird, and I definitely didn’t want to end things like this.

“That night” was a Friday. I had came home to my apartment after work tired. I threw the chinese I’d picked up on the dining table, and quietly ate as I stared through the blinds. The sun had just finished setting, and the streetlights would be on soon. The clock had told me it was seven, and I hadn’t realized how quiet the house was until twenty minutes later. I turned to the news: another shooting had happened somewhere downtown, and an accident happened this afternoon, which was why traffic was more shit than usual.

It wasn’t until I threw away the chinese that the doorbell buzzed. Jacob stood there in the doorway, cheesing. It was weird seeing such a toothy smile with his goatee.

“Ready for cards?” Jacob asked while pushing past me inside.

Cards, of course.

I’d forgotten we play cards nearly every weekend, the four of us. Angela would carpool with Rick every weekend. We would take turns buying booze and I had the cards at my place, Jacob had extras somewhere in the drawers in case I lost the other deck. Today had been such a shit day at work that I forgot.

“Angela and Rick aren’t coming tonight, they’re going on a trip,” Jacob set down the booze on the table.

The trip to New York was also meant for all four of us, but I didn’t have the money and Jacob had some sick family member he wanted to stay near. I nodded at him and locked the door, then took out the cards.

“What’s wrong? Long day at work?”

“Yeah,” I say with a deep sigh. Normally I’d probably be talking his ear off, saying how I’d definitely beat him this time around.

“You gonna talk about it?”

I smile a bit, “Nah, let’s just play.” Jacob starts shuffling the cards. It’s always been like this, I think. I’ve known Jacob since we were kids, I mostly played with the other boys on my block because I didn’t like playing the games the other girls did. I liked football even though I was smaller than the others, and I could run around as long as my legs would let me. I hated playing nerf though, I always felt like an idiot.

Jacob just kind of stuck around. My parents were convinced that we would date in high school, but it never happened. Jacob was always laid back, and so was I.

We ended up playing strip poker. I held my left arm after I felt a cool breeze and glanced at my shirt on the floor. Jacob was shirtless too, and pantsless, but he wasn’t half as flustered as I was. He just kept staring at the cards in his hands, his curly dark locks shrouding his face. His hazel-green eyes swept up to mine, and I take a moment to catch my breath and look down at my cards. Jacob was kind of muscular, I knew that, but he wasn’t swole like the other guys in the city. I liked that, I liked his slightly toned abs and slightly toned arms. It never made me think he would snap my ass in half.

“You’re tense.” I hear the scratch of the chair against the floor and a few heavy footsteps before Jacob’s hands reach my shoulders. I slam my cards down in fear of him cheating and my eyes slowly turn to the TV. We had put a horror movie on but had ignored most of it, we liked background noise anyway. The bottle of whatever Jacob had brought was strong, and I’m sure I was drunk already.

“Let’s watch the movie,” Jacob was about to lose anyway, I’m sure he was thinking of a way to save his own ass. I stand up and pull away from his hand squeezing and rubbing my shoulders. I plop on the couch loudly and bury myself beneath the sheets, staring at the young girl twisting her limbs on a staircase, another woman watching her in terror.

There’s a long pause before Jacob decides to move. When he does, he plops next to me as well, my face feels warm as I hold back a few hiccups. The movie drags on. When I feel his warm body press against mine my eyes fly open. He smelled nice, like spices and coffee.

I paid no mind to the movie. I did everything else but watch the movie, I kissed his neck, felt his hands on my skin, felt him unhook the back of my bra, pressed my warm body against his, but we did not watch that damn movie. Or the one that played after that, or the one after that.

I can’t say it wasn’t the first time this happened, it happened once before, in college. But that was a long time ago too.

In the morning Jacob was gone and the TV was off. I was fully tucked in my bed with a bad headache, and the light bleeding through the window burned.

I tried to call him plenty of times after that, and text him. But he hadn’t answered, he also hadn’t showed up for any cards either. Angela and Rick were back in now, and I told Angela what happened. She was just as stumped as I was, but she said she couldn’t get to him either.

The air is cool against my face. A few leaves smack into my coat before falling to the ground, but the brisk walk from my car to Jacob’s front door was short. I ring the doorbell: once, twice, three times. I sigh, his car was in the driveway, so he was probably home. I couldn’t think of where he would be on a Sunday evening besides grocery shopping.

I would like to think that Jacob isn’t that kind of guy, at least he never seemed that way . . . but I could always be wrong. I dig in my bag and pulled out the spare key Jacob gave me. ‘Mi casa es tu casa,’ he told me when he bought his first house, I used to show up unannounced all the time. Until I interrupted him with one of his girlfriends and stopped showing up when she kept bitching about it.  

The door creaks way too loudly as the light leaks in. I can’t bring myself to make any noise as I stare at the mess. Everything was on the floor: his TV, his couch pillows, the coats from his coat rack, broken glass from an overturned lamp. The paintings by the stairwell laid haphazardly, and the foot of a chair peaked out from the kitchen. The wind closes the door behind me, and I feel my body shaking from the large inhale I take in. My hand digs into my back pocket, wrapping around my phone, but I don’t dial any number. I walk towards his basement, afraid of the open door.

I turn on the light and flinch at the loudness my feet make against the wooden stairs. There’s heavy breathing, hoarse breathing, like the breathing of a smoker or someone with asthma. Like someone who’s having trouble bringing oxygen into their body. It’s coming in through their mouth, not the nose. Near the bottom, I see Jacob’s foot, his shoe was on but his jeans were stained in something dark.

Dark red liquid pools around the leg, and I pause on the last step.

“Jacob?” I hear the mumble voice mumble something unintelligible, and there’s the sound of something moving.

I thrust my legs further, seeing Jacob in his entirety on the floor under the basement light: legless and armless. He was missing his right leg and his left arm. The left leg was the one I saw closest to the stairs, the bone protruding from the skin, the dark pinky or red-looking skin tissue around it made me want to puke. I didn’t even see his arm anywhere nearby. Jacob was crawling towards me, still making his god awful breathing noises.

“. . . anna . . Johanna . . . Johanna . . .”

My hands were shaking, I took a few steps back, before hearing the shuffling of a paper. Under my foot I saw a written note:

“It was fun.” No signature, no names.

“Johanna . . . call 911,” I feel his hand clench my foot, and I let out a squeak. I begin unlocking my phone, a million questions running through my head.

“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?”