#then i'll be in trouble XD

[mrs-luigi-vargas]

WIP Wednesday

I mean to do these more often than I do but Wednesday is usually my busiest day of the week because its the day I actually have to do a work commute longer than the 10 feet from my bed to my desk XD

Anyway, when the year started I wanted to have the angsty aroace!Mario fic written for Valentine's Day/AroSpec Awareness Week but then I looked at what I had left to write for it and how much time I had and there was no way I was finishing it within that deadline, lmao. So I put it down and decided to work on some other WIPs instead; I have some outlines and ideas from late 2020/early 2021 that I can knock out real quick, with how much my writing skills have progressed. And it would be nice to actually put a tangible dent in my WIP pile for once. I already wrote two of them, and luckily I have a different aro!Mario WIP half-outlined that I can definitely write and finish in time for ASAW so I think I'm going to focus on that, now. It's not much to do with Mario being aro itself (aside from Peach being mad about amatonormativity for a bit, ha); it'll probably mostly be, like, platonic cuddling and junk. But it'll be nice to get another entry in the aro!Mario series after so long…It's really hard to get ideas for new fics for it :(

This also means I have to pause the WIP I was actively in the middle of working on, which was a late-2020 idea about Kamek accidentally shrinking himself and Mario deciding to mind him. Because I don't know if I'm looking in the wrong places or something, but its really hard to find fics where people are shrunken that aren't, like, Borrowers fusions or a vore thing. Which, no shade to either of those, but they aren't the vibe I'm after, haha. But I suspect the shared change in perspective and helpless vulnerability and having to trust someone who could just crush you if they wanted etc etc etc is still fueling it all regardless :)

So anyway here's some of the tiny!Kamek fic because I won't be working on it for a hot minute —

“Either that spell I’d cast was more powerful than I’d realized,” Kamek slowly said, “Or I somehow managed to shrink myself, instead.”

“...”

“I’d shrunk myself, didn't I.”

Mario’s mustache curled up in amusement. Kamek ground his teeth and fumed. Of all the stupid mistakes to make...!

Despite his magic reserves being low, Kamek reached into his sleeve for his wand; whether to put himself back to normal or knock the amusement off Mario’s face, he couldn't say. Either way, his hand came out empty. And it did so the second time Kamek rummaged in in his sleeve, and the third, and the fourth, and the — 

Absolutely not panicking, Kamek dove back into the tree hollow to overturn every dead leaf and stick pile and moss clump in search of his wand. He didn't find it, of course, and he spared a moment or two to just stand there, head in hands. With how today was going, he’d probably dropped it just after miscasting that spell. On the very dim bright side, though, at least he knew why his broom wasn't working; those enchantments weren't designed to play nice with these sort of shrinking spells. Kamek sighed. Curse Lord Bowser and his incessant, almost impossible demands...

Kamek lifted his head to find Mario peering through the opening of the tree hollow, watching him with a furrowed brow, considering Kamek’s misfortune. He backed up to allow Kamek to leave, and once Kamek stood upright, he extended a hand to him.

“I don't need your help,” Kamek snapped. Ignoring Mario’s hand, he turned on his heel, marched a few steps, tripped over a protruding bit of exposed bark, and lost his balance. His next step was on empty air, at a height borderline unsurvivable, with little but a broken broom to break his fall.

So he fell. And he hit the ground. Sooner than he’d expected, considering. Kamek unscrewed his eyes and found the surface he’d landed on was whiter than he’d expected, as well. And then it moved, and Kamek lost the little balance he’d been barely holding on to. Mario’s worried face filled Kamek’s vision, and he realized that he wasn't dead because Mario had caught him.

“...I suppose I should thank you,” Kamek eventually said, with no intention of thanking Mario. Mario huffed, but still watched him, lips pursed in thought. He was being quieter than usual, and that combined with the sudden awareness of just how vulnerable he was —  many fractions his size, unable to cast any spells, sitting on his archenemy’s palms high in the air — had Kamek swallowing nervously.

“You can put me down, now,” Kamek hesitantly said, because Mario was a good guy, and he would do that. For sure. Hopefully.

Except Mario didn't. Instead, he transferred Kamek to one hand, opened the front pocket of his overalls with the other, and dumped Kamek in there as if he was some common — 

Kamek struggled to right himself in the small, mostly enclosed space. “Wh — You —!” he sputtered. “How dare you — !”

Mario chuckled at Kamek’s indignation. The vibrations of it rumbled through Kamek's body, and the whole ‘you’re very tiny and powerless and more-or-less at your archenemy’s mercies right now’ dilemma screeched back to the forefront of Kamek’s mind. So he shut his mouth with a clack, thinking better of poking his head out of the pocket to give Mario a piece of his mind. Through the meager opening above him he saw Mario give him one last look before starting to move; with the way the world shifted probably meant he was at a brisk walk, down the forest path to who-knew-where.

Kamek sighed, making himself comfortable the best he could given the circumstances. Well... at least Mario wasn't likely to let Kamek get accosted by wildlife again. And besides, all Kamek had to do was wait until he could scrounge up enough magic to cast spells again; though he was still without his wand, he’d still be free to ditch Mario and make his own way back to the base for his spare wand and broom. And then he could make Mario pay for this indignity ten-fold.

[brainisafk]

I love their face so freaking much. >.<

Confession: I have no idea if their tattoo is an actual vallaslin, I just thought it looked really cool. >.>

First round of companion quests done. I am really happy how well they get along with Harding. Bellara's was just as painful as the first time. >.<

I kinda hate how I'm back to only doing one or two quests before I have to quit for the night. This playthrough is going to take awhile.

Lucanis wants his coffee date but I kinda want to wait til recruitment is over so I get the extra banter bits. >.>

[bespectacled-bookwyrm]

N you're such a great character but why is your shirt so hard to draw???

(Also, hats. If it's not Layton's top hat, I suck at drawing it. Another thing for me to practise! XD)

[theworldoffandoming]

Tsuname,

What are your favorite three things to do in your spare time?

Tsuname: Oh! Well, I uh... I like making bracelets for Sh'zkai! Sure would be nice if she came back to the island someday so I could show her all the ones I've made... Umm. And swimming, I guess, but I think you'd be hard-pressed to find a Wotren who doesn't like to! That's almost like breathing or walking... Anyway, walking through the woods is nice too! At least... when nothing startles me... I feel bad for the bird I ran into the other day... <:')

[vessalis]

i swear i am not dead. just not active you see h A !

[countlessrealities]

@evilmcg sent: Meg had just given her boyfriend a kiss. Telling him she loved him before saying her goodbye. Then suddenly turning to Mortimer. Giving him a quick peck on the cheek. Leaving a lipstick mark as a result. "I loathe you. I'll see you later." With that, she was off.

Morty would have never admitted it, but the kiss caught him off guard. He always tried to be ready for everything and he could have said with pride that he managed to do it most of the times, but this particular occasion apparently couldn't be labelled as one of his successes.

The president didn't remain frozen in his spot for long, but it was still enough for his surprise to be noticeable. Especially considering that he was standing next to the person who, together with his second-in-command, had the easiest time reading his body language when he wasn't carefully masking it.

Dismissing the hint of annoyance the fact brought to him, he calmly pulled out a handkerchief from the pocket of his trousers and used it to remove every trace of lipstick from his cheek. Under other circumstances, he would have merely walked off to take care of the many affairs that waited for his attention, but not this time. He could feel the very much expected tension rising in the air between him and his other self.

After all, they still hadn't breached the subject of whatever...this thing involving the both of them and Meg was. And they wouldn't now either, because he didn't want to. Not when he was being offered the perfect chance to make a much interesting and pleasant move.

Innerly steadying himself, Mortimer turned to look at his counterpart, eyes half-lidded and lips shaped in a light, but confident curve. There was an oddly fierce, purposeful glint in his gaze and it seemed to grow stronger as he stepped closer, sliding into his other self's personal space as if he had belonged there.

"You know, other me, it feels like something is...missing," he started in a conversational tone, reaching out to adjust the collar of his counterpart's shirt, his fingers not so accidentally brushing the side of his neck. "Like a circle waiting to be closed."

His eyes not-so-subtly fell on the other's lips, lingering for a moment too long, before they rose up again to meet those golden-brown orbs. He wouldn't have admitted it, but under his bold facade he was feeling nervous. This was usually his counterpart's script, not his. He never initiated their flirty interactions, he merely played along...if he even did.

Being the one throwing out such an open invitation, to take the risk of being turned down...He was completely out of his comfort zone. Yet, he also knew that, if he hadn't at least tried, he would have ended up regretting it.

"I think this calls for one last step. We...You and I should kiss too."

{ @mcltiples [Evil Morty] - mentioned }

[unhingedselfships]

They're still in denial, but that five feet has vanished and everyone but them noticed (pt 3/4)

...

Despite having let Majima drag the lot of them out to the club, Kiryu noticed that Daigo seemed more interested in his phone. 

He was smiling, the soft sort of smile one often didn't even realize was there. Something (someone perhaps?) had his attention, far more than the music or drinks, any of Majima's men or the hostesses. 

Kiryu readied himself to get involved in something as he watched the younger man's expression cycle from smile to concern, his brow furrowing. Daigo flagged down one of the wait staff, leaning over the back of the free standing U-shaped booth-style seat, exchanging quick quiet words. The worker nodded before heading off towards the club's entrance.

The young Chairman was once more focused on his phone, fingers tapping impatiently against the back of the case. It was odd to see him so agitated these days, the hot-headed boy he'd been had grown into a much more level-headed man. Clearly something was bothering him. Kiryu hoped they were ready for whatever it was.

The staff member Daigo had spoken to earlier returned a few moments later, someone- oh, that was the girl from Daigo's kitchen wasn't it? Kiryu tilted his head slightly, as the man guided the young woman towards their table. She seemed tentative. Nervous and unsure. Skittish. Was this really the place, the people, to bring her around?

He watched her eyes raise to meet Daigo’s and it hit him then. The way they both softened and smiled.

The height of ill mannered, she darted across the table, and stopped in front of the chairman. The others expected an admonishment but the man just laughed, as she realized what she’d done and flustered.

Daigo reached up to tug her down off the low table, spinning her around so she landed on the seat between his knees. The way she immediately relaxed into him, his body bracketing hers, was telling. 

These two really were oblivious. 

(“Tha’re complete dumbasses, Kiryu-chan.” “Be nice, Majima-san.” “Naw.”)

The night continued on largely uneventfully. As much as these things go anyway. People would stop by to say something, and need to divert Daigo’s attention from whatever the girl was showing him on her phone. She stayed in his hold, and immersed in whatever she was looking at. Closed from the rest of the world. It really was like it was just them two. 

It had been awhile when Kiryu noticed Daigo gently shift. The pair exchanged quiet words and the man slipped away. A nod to Kiryu and towards her, askance on his face. Kiryu nodded back, he’d keep an eye on her. Something like relief flitted across the younger’s face and he seemed to relax a bit, and Kiryu was almost taken aback by the gratefulness in his eyes.

He really worried, didn’t he? He cared. Of course, Daigo cared about a lot of people but this was… Something else.

Kiryu’s back tensed, before relaxing, as Majima planted himself between them. He might irritate her, but Majima would never hurt the girl. She was just as safe with him as with Kiryu. 

“So. Princess,” the one-eyed man drawled lazily.

She jolted a bit at the designation, and Kiryu watched the way she seemed to curl into herself. Guarded. Nervous.

Majima ignored her reaction, “So what was all tha’ about?”

“I- I don’t know what you mean?” she seemed genuinely confused.

“Naw, no way girlie, y’all cuddled up like tha’? Jus’ friends huh? Yer not a very good liar.”

She withdrew further. Wilted almost, something hurt and fragile in her eyes.

She smiled at him, and Kiryu thought he’d never seen someone smile so sweetly with so much pain. 

“It’s true though, we really are. Just friends. He’s the best friend I could ever ask for. I don’t deserve him.”

Majima seemed to freeze, then slowly tilted his head, like a dog trying to figure out what a sound was. Then he sighed, full body and dramatic.

“Yer an idiot.”

“I. You’re not the first to tell me so. And you’re not wrong. Did it really need said though?”

“Seems ta me, yah, it does."

Kiryu watched the girl's face do something complicated, and for a moment he thought she might actually snap at Majima. Something Majima also noticed. And revelled in.

“Ayy! Lookit there! There migh’ actually be a spine hiding in ya somewhere!”

She blinked slowly at him, “You’re. Something. Aren’t you?”

Majima cackled, delighting in her dry response.

A laugh that was cut off by a choke at her quiet “at least you’re pretty”.

“Are you harassing my sweet girl?” the chairman had returned, and eyed the older man with long suffering amusement.

The pet name went unremarked upon, but certainly everyone took note.

("Hmm wonder wha' happened to 'guest'." "It's really not our business, Majima-san." "Kiryu-chan, you're no fun!")

“Haw!? Naw, never!” he cackled again, the flush still visible on his neck and ears.

“I’m sure,” Daigo’s response as dry as the girl’s had been. 

Majima picked up a teasing dialogue that Kiryu tuned out, but he knew the man was watching, examining the pair. He’d leave them to it. It wasn’t his business.

…

The night was wrapping up, the club clearing out slowly but surely. 

The girl was nodding off in Daigo’s hold, and the man’s face stayed soft, content.

Looking at them, you'd think there was no one else in the room. An island in the sea of people.

There was an almost sacred intimacy between them. Kiryu wasn't sure this was something he, or anyone, was meant to be witness to.

Majima all but threw himself down in the now empty seat beside Kiryu, throwing an arm across the back, other hand swirling his drink.

He grinned wolfishly over at him, "Just friends, eh?"

The barest hint of a smile found its way onto his face as he answered, "Just friends."

"Ha! Idiots, the both of them," the man all but cackled.

"Be nice, Majima," he admonished.

"Am I wrong?" he raised a challenging brow.

"I didn't say that."

At that Majima did finally let loose a boisterous laugh.

(and yes, if you wondered, both of them completely missed the irony in this exchange)

(Kiryu would, years later, remember the moment, however, and vowed never to reveal the embarrassment it caused him when he realized)

(he and Majima really had no room to talk, did they?)

[sneindeer]

losing ur id card is great for practising low-stakes social interactions. You can ask lots of people if they saw an ID card. a random dude will try to offer you his health insurance card. fun times XD

[masquenoire]

Her voice rang from his office, the door was shut and there were flower petals (and a few fingers) sprawled around on the path leading to it. "Hey Masky. I have a SPECIAL surprise for you. Just come in and close the door behind you."

He froze at the sound of her voice calling him by that nickname, looking at the closed door to his office as though he'd end up getting deleted if he even so much as dared touch the handle. Colourful flower petals had been scattered across the laminated floor, providing an unsettling decor alongside the severed human fingers that probably came from his own men. It honestly wouldn't have surprised Roman; keeping the Joker out was a task for Batman, let alone the meatheads he'd employed as security, useless lumps they were. Well, had been. God only knows what she'd done to them, and briefly Roman considering turning on his heel to leave. The very idea that the clown had a 'special surprise' waiting for him on the other side was more daunting than say, for instance, the idea of strolling into the Iceberg Lounge buck naked to challenge Cobblepot to a fist fight but Roman Sionis had never been one to shy away from a challenge. Or a threat. He bristled, rising in high temper as he strode towards the office door, heedless of the petals and fingers he stomped on along the way. Fuck Valentine's Day and every shitty thing about it, nobody invaded his turf like this! The door was promptly kicked in, a well-heeled shoe sending the heavy oak doors flying open to reveal whatever grim fate lay in wait for him on the other side.

"What the fuck do you think you're playing at, Joker? This is-" he said before stopping sharp.

[dark-horse76]

So, uh. I bought this comic specifically/solely for the adorable versions of these two (I didn't even bother looking up what the comic was / what it was about lol):

I don't know why I didn't expect that reading it would make me want more of it, but here we are. I love them and I need more xd.

[hxzbinwrites]

Hi! I just saw that requests are open, yeah!! I'd like to request an Alastor x fem!Reader where Vox has a crush on her so he sends her a set of different tea flavor as a gift. The problem is that these contain a drug that inhibits the person (thanks, Valentino). Basically, his plan was to wait for her to drink the tea and then show up at the hotel and seduce her so he could have her for himself (my boy thinks she loves him, lol). The problem is that she had graciously offered the tea to Alastor, who drinks it. Vox asks her if she enjoyed the tea she lies saying it was delicious so he immediately shows up at the hotel but ends up finding Alastor who is being super affectionate with her, revealing his true feelings for her. Eventually Alastor attacks Vox as soon as he sees him forcing the other to flee. Fluff and comedy, basically. xD

Alastor x Fem! Reader x Vox | Tea Time Troubles

Warnings ⚠️:  Cussing, drugs, controlling and manipulative Vox, out of character Alastor.

"I dunno 'bout this Voxxy" Valentino said, handing him a baggie of the drug, a weak aphrodisiac lining the walls of the bag.

"Don't worry about me Valentino, I'll be fine" Vox reassured him, holding the bag up to his screened face. He smirked deviously as he put his hands behind his back.

"But you tell me all the time 'bout 'public image' and all that shit." Valentino retorted, crossing his lower arms against his stomach.

"Don't you worry your pretty little face about it Honey" Vox sneered, rubbing his cheek in a falsely affectionate way. "Vox is a big boy and can handle himself. I just gotta put this into some tea bags. (Y/n) WILL be MINE."

"Ugh" The moth groaned, taking a puff of his cigar,"She's not even worth it. She hangs out with radio, fossil trash. If she was good shed know who to choose. Besides, I'm better than she is, right?"

"You're wrong." Vox said, his left eye radiating hypnotizing waves out of anger,"(Y/n) is perfect. She's everything, and she will be mine."

Vox's demonic laughter could be heard across the building, sending chills down anyone who heard it's spine.

--------

"Honey!!" (Y/n) exclaimed, holding up the box of tea that arrived at their house,"Your tea shipment came!"

Alastor, who was reading the paper at the kitchen table, looked over to see his dear (Y/n) carrying two large cardboard boxes.

He teleported over, making his shadows place them atop of the counter. His keen eyes narrowed at the second box, seemingly almost identical to the first one.

"How peculiar!" Alastor said, tapping his cane on the second box, almost poking it as if it was a foreign object.

"What's peculiar about it?" The fellow deer demon asked, peering over at the box her partner was so intrigued by.

"I did not order two shipments of tea from the catalogue this month!" He replied, his smile tightening in irritation. Could someone be trying to plant something in this hotel? Trying to hurt any of his friends, his beloved, or him?

"Maybe it's a promo box?" (Y/n) suggested,"I mean, you are a loyal customer of theirs. Maybe they want you to try a new product, I hear that's the new rage."

"Ah" Alastor replied, walking closer to the counter to rip open the second box to be met with a letter and a large box of tea.

"Thank you for your loyalty Mr. Alastor. We're reaching out to our most loyal customers to give this Promo box to! We're asking that you try our newest flavor, a (your favorite flavor) but with a twist! Despite the erratic sounds at night in Hell, this tea should help you fall right asleep! If you enjoy it, please promote so on your beloved Radio Show!"

"I was right!" The doe said, looking up at her partner,"They must've given it to you because they know you're famous and can promote their tea! Very smart people, I wanna try one tomorrow!"

"Tomorrow? Why not today my doe?" Alastor said, looking down at his partner.

"My stomach isn't feeling the best. Charlie's cake wasn't fully cooked through, but I didn't want to be rude and not eat it. Especially because no one else was!"

Alastor chuckled, petting her sensitive ears. "Now now (Y/n), you should've listened to me! I know all!"

"Al..." She said, batting her eyes up at him,"Do you mind trying it for me? I wanna know if it's good, but I don't want to throw up in my sleep!"

"Why should I?" He inquired, smirking down at (Y/n). "It seems like this predicament could've been easily avoided my little doe! Hahaha!"

"Please" She softly asked, smiling at him back.

"I suppose I can try one cup of it." He said, sitting down at the table, fully expecting (Y/n) to make him the cup as he finished reading his paper.

She giggled at him and began to start the kettle. Moments like these can't be replaced, a docile and homey moment between the two of them. (Y/n) loved seeing this side of him. The Alastor side of him, not the Radio Demon.

(Y/n) opened the smaller box that was enclosed in the large one, picking out the first tea bag. She smelled the bag, the fumes of blended herbs wafting in her nostrils. It smelled lovely, she would've to drink one alongside Alastor.

But she held back on picking up another bag, knowing its sleeping effects. (Y/n) really didn't want to throw up while in her sleep, and potentially on Alastor, who would be as knocked out as her.

Sighing, she finished preparing the tea, pouring it in Alastor's favorite teacups, the one (Y/n) gifted him on their second anniversary many years ago.

She walked back over to him, placing the teacup on his saucer, putting the sugar cube in as well.

"Thank you dearest" Alastor said, his eyes skimming over the newspaper,"I shall be in our room in a moment, why don't you go ahead and get in your nightwear?"

"Alrighty" (Y/n) replied, patting the back of Alastor's chair. That was something the two of them did, (Y/n) knew when to touch Alastor and when to not. Still wanting to show him affection, she'll pat an object close to him.

Alastor gave her a soft smile before returning his focus to the newspaper.

The doe walked up the stairs in the hotel to their shared room. She got in her fluffy pajamas, completed each and every step to her skincare routine, and crawled into bed with a book.

The silence was only broken by the occasional turn of a page, this was (Y/n)‘s daily quiet time, as Alastor liked to read the paper before turning in for the night.

This normally is for about an hour, but tonight it was a mere 30 minutes as the door busted open.

The doe yelped, her skittish nature causing her to flinch at the sudden jolt of noise. Her partner flittered into the room before crawling on top of her, his eyes droopy from the affect.

“Hi sugar” He said, burying his face in the crook of her neck. His ears were pressed against his head as he affectionately nuzzled (Y/n). Alastor grabbed her waist and flipped her on top of him, allowing him to bring her closer to his body, her chest atop of his.

“Al-Alastor?!” (Y/n) exclaimed, tensing up. What has gotten into him!? He’s not one to ever make such…bold advances.

“Oh my love” He said, a dreamy lilt in his voice,”you’re just perfection incarnate. Such a lovely little fawn you are.”

Blushing heavily, she let him rest himself on her, snuggling contently. It was rather peaceful, she did not know where this sudden chance of behavior came from, but it certainly wasn’t the worst by far.

(Y/n)’s ears perked up hearing a notification sound ding from her phone. She slowly grabbed it to check what it was.

Alastor was not very keen on allowing this sort of technology in the house, especially knowing Vox is over all of it. So they made a compromise, he’d take out the camera and microphone and she could have the phone.

Seeing it was a message from Vox, she opened it.

Vox: “Hey sweetheart, I pulled a few strings and got a shipment of some new tea of (your favorite flavor) that was being tested. How did you like it baby?”

(Y/n): Oh, it was good, thanks!

Vox: Just good? You sure sweet stuff? Wasn’t it so good you could just kiss the lips off of the person who got it for you?

(Y/n) sighed, shutting her phone off and curling up with her lover.

“I think that’s a yes!” Vox said, throwing his hands in the air ceremoniously. He quickly put on his best bow tie, in hopes it would get taken off by fingers other than his, and made his way towards the Hazbin Hotel.

————

Vox searched through each room until he found the one you and Alastor shared.

He scowled at the door, seeing a heart with the initials scribed on it “(Y/i) + A”

Pathetic. He could give you so much more than that. He could give you the most advanced technological sign known to mankind just for some silly initials, not some shitty hard with nearly illegible handwriting.

He opened the door, his signature smirk dropping as he saw Alastor, his arch nemesis (in Vox’s eyes) peppering small little kisses all over (Y/n)‘s face, making her giggle.

“WHAT THE FUCK?!” Vox yelled, his face was blue-screening.

Alastor took one look at the fellow Overlord and let out a long string of laughter, sitting up as he pulled (Y/n) into his lap.

“Vox?! What are you doing here?!”

“YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONE TO DRINK THE TEA!! AND THEN YOU’D BE MINE!!”

Alastor hooked a arm around (Y/n)‘s waist, looking at his opponent across the room.

“This is my doe, my love, and we all know if she would’ve drank the tea, she would’ve always chosen me.”

Lets just say, the power around the Pride Ring went out after that comment.

————

Word Count 1,524

[godzexperiment]

i might know tech things, but i also know nothing xD

[countlessrealities]

Send 🖤 and my character will answer about yours || Accepting !

@thcpresidcnt sent: 🖤 { The E-Mortys }

Attractiveness

repulsive / hideous / ugly / not attractive / unappealing / not unattractive / meh / no preference / ok / mildly attractive / nice looking / cute / adorable / attractive / pleasant on the eyes / good looking / hot / sexy / beautiful / gorgeous / hot damn / would tap that / perfect / godlike / holy fuck there are no words.

"Not to sound narcissistic, but I find other me quite...attractive. It's not just the looks, it's also his attitude and how he holds himself. It's enticing. And when his composure crumbles? I find it endearingly amusing. Also, he cleans up really well, I'll give him that."

Personality

grating / irritating / frustrating / boring / confusing at best / awkward / unreasonable / psychotic / disturbing / interesting / engaging / affectionate / aggressive / ambitious / anxious / artistic / bad tempered / bossy / charismatic / appealing / unappealing / creative / courageous / dependable / unreliable / unpredictable / predictable / devious / dim / extroverted / introverted / egotistical / gregarious / fabulous / impulsive / intelligent / sympathetic / talkative / up beat / peaceful / calming / badass / flexible

"Other me is...many things. Some good and some bad. The odd nature of our relationship doesn't help with the latter, I must say. We can get on each other's nerves and at times he is stubborn and frustrating. However, I admire his charisma and intelligence, and he can be a wonderful company. Also, he's bossy. And he thinks that he can use that on me, which is frankly hilarious."

Level of friendship

never in a million years / worst of enemies / enemies / rivals / indifferent / neutral / acquaintance / friendly toward each other / casual friends / friends / good friends / best friends / fuck buddies / bosom buddies / practically the same person / would die for them / true friends / my only friend

"As undefined as our relationship is, I think I can safely say that we are friends. Good friends, even. After all, we can understand and relate to each other more than anyone ever could, for obvious reasons. After all, isn't mutual understanding the perfect foundation of a solid friendship?"

First impression of them

i hate them so much / i don’t like them / i don’t trust them / they annoy me / they’re weird / I’m indifferent / meh / they seem alright / they’re growing on me / truce / I think I like them / I like them / I’m not sure if I trust them / I trust them / they’re cool / they’re genuine / I think we’re going to get along / I really like them / I think I’m in love / oh fuck they’re hot / I love them.

"I never made it a mystery that at first I was wary of him. He is me, after all. I would have been a fool not to be. And his know-it-all act got on my nerves, just as his unprompted flirting. Yet, I could already tell that we would get along, once found the right balance. And I was right, of course."

Current impression of them

i hate them so much / i don’t like them / i don’t trust them / they annoy me / they’re weird / I’m indifferent / meh / they seem alright / they’re growing on me / truce / I think I like them / I like them / I’m not sure if I trust them / I trust them / they’re cool / they’re genuine / I think we’re going to get along / I really like them / I think I’m in love / oh fuck they’re hot / I love them

"As I said, we're good friends. He mostly earned my trust. And we make a good team. We help each other work towards our shared goals and also with managing our respective Citadels. I've never had a real partner. It's...refreshing. I'm certain that we'll achieve a lot, together."

[darkestmiqote]

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Thank you for tagging @chrisoels

Tagging if you like to: @figuringthengsout , @ka1imba , @kayrielwrites , @msblueberrybi

[yors-truly]

The process of moving away has been so heartbreaking, specifically these past few days.

Sucks I have to leave so many incredible people behind. I'll miss them all a lot - now even more, knowing they'll miss me too :'(

[teaboot]

As someone who learnt english as a second language via textbook, I have to say "flying by the seat of my pants" is a hilarious idiom xD

It's the first time I've seen/heard it.

Could you share another one you like using?

Idk about idioms specifically, but there's a bunch of phrases I learned from my mom!

Lord love a duck! (Incredulous, like 'oh my god')

Lord suffer in sheep dip! (Sheep dip meaning sheep poop. Incredulous, but for annoying things- like 'are you kidding me?')

Is there a piano tied to your ass? ('Don't be lazy, do it yourself')

Someone's cruising for a bruising. (You're picking a fight.)

I don't give a rat's rip. ('I don't care'- a rat's 'rip' is it's butt crack.)

Pull up a stump! (Get yourself a chair, sit down.)

Everybody out of the pool! (Get out of the car)

I'm flying by the seat of my pants. (I have no idea what I'm doing, but I'm doing it.)

Don't go blowing smoke up my ass. (Don't over-compliment me, don't flatter me, don't stroke my ego, don't tell me positive lies)

Looks like it's gonna rain on our parade. (A storm is coming.)

Sorry to rain on your parade. (I've given you bad news- can be used sincerely or sarcastically to denote sympathy for incurring a bad mood.)

Better button that lip. (Stop talking.)

Someone's gonna stick a boot up your ass. ('Stick a boot up your ass'- fight you, beat you, kick your ass.)

Stick that lip out any further, and a pigeon'll shit on it. (Stop whining.)

Suck it up, buttercup. (Stop whining.)

Dumber than a fence post. (Very stupid.)

The back forty. (The wild or forested area behind a rural home. The 'forty' being forty acres, or farmland.)

Don't go begging for a fat lip. (Whatever you're saying or doing is going to bother people and get you in trouble.)

What on God's green earth (What the fuck)

I'm sweating like a pig in a porta-potty (like a pig in a plastic outhouse- I'm very warm, it's hot here)

He thinks the universe flew out of his ass. (He thinks he's more impressive than he is.)

Your mouth wrote a cheque your ass couldn't cash. (You promised more than you were capable of providing.)

You've got a horseshoe up your ass. (You're very, very lucky.)

Taking a dirt nap. (Dead.)

Pushing (up) daisies. (Dead.)

Give me forty acres to turn this rig around. (I need time and space to move this large, heavy, or unwieldy thing. Usually about navigating a vehicle. Taken from a song lyric.)

Jesus take the wheel. (God help me, I can't handle this, I give up.)

Gone belly-up. (Has died.)

We've got a floater. (This one is dead.)

Herding cats. (Trying to organize chaos, managing an impossibly complicated situation.)

I've got a black thumb. (I am bad at growing plants, all my plants die- reference to having a 'green thumb', or being good at growing plants.)

Stop trackin' floor cookies. (Floor cookies are bits of animal shit that fall off your work boots- 'tracking floor cookies' means wearing your boots in the house; take your shoes off at the door.)

Running around like a headless chicken. (Frantic, disorganized, stressed out by many tasks or panicked by a big situation.)

Spinning my wheels. (Waiting around for something to happen, getting nowhere, frustrated by inactivity, not making any progress towards a goal.)

He's gonna blow a gasket. (He's going to lose his temper, he's going to be angry.)

They'll tan your hide. (They'll punish you severely; usually through violence. Specifically in reference to a spanking.)

He's a few bricks short a load. (He's not clever / he doesn't think things through / he's crazy)

Not the sharpest tool in the shed. (Not the smartest person. Very dumb, clumsy, or absent-minded.)

I'm not going to bail you out. (Not going to save your sinking boat- not going to help you out of your bad situation.)

Looks like things are going south. (The situation is growing worse.)

I'll start making tracks. (I'll leave now, I'll start working, I'll get going.)

He's fucking the dog. (He's not being productive, he's doing a bad job, he's made things worse, he's screwing around.)

He's making puppies. (Less graphic version of 'fucking the dog'.)

Plant your ass. (Sit.)

Playing grab-ass. (Procrastinating- accomplishing nothing, slowing people down.)

He couldn't find his ass in the dark. (He's stupid, ineffective, underqualified, or incompetent.)

He couldn't pour water out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel. (He is unbelievably, comically dumb or ineffective. He can't do anything right.)

One foot in the ground. (Dying, or half-dead.)

I'm kicking rocks. (I'm not doing anything productive.)

I'm hauling ass. (I'm running away.)

Madder than a wet hen. (Very, very angry.)

Like I said I'm not sure that these are all idioms but they're all the phrases and sayings from my childhood that I can remember right now

EDIT: Cannot BELIEVE I forgot my mom's favourite

52. Wish in one hand, shit in the other, see which gets filled first. (Wishes don't come true by themselves)

Plus some more I forgot:

53. You make a better door than a window. (You're in the way of my view.)

54. You can take a long walk off a short pier. (Go fuck yourself.)

55. He's about as sharp as a bowling ball. (He's stupid.)

56. Scoot your poot. (Move over.)

57. Not my first rodeo. (I know what I'm doing.)

58. He's built like a brick shithouse. (He's broad and sturdy and very strong, solid.)

59. I smell bacon. (I saw a cop nearby.)

60. I don't want to hear a peep. (Stop talking.)

61. You're thinking with the wrong head. (You're making bad decisions because you're horny.)

62. I'd lose my ass/head if it wasn't tied on. (I'm very absent-minded, forgetful.)

63. That went down like a lead balloon. (That situation was bad.)