#then i won't get so much buildup on my scalp

[advisorsage]

I hate hate hate the way my brain is wired right now

I got overstimulated cause I haven't showered in too long (depression and dysphoria make it hard along with chronic pain) and wasn't wearing comfy clothes (my shirt had a literal collar around my neck which makes me feel like I can't breath and I was wearing pants I don't typically wear all for an interview) plus I was out longer than anticipated

I finally get home and take a shower

I can't use soap cause the soap feeling will make the overstimulated feeling come back and be worse and I don't feel like attacking anyone tonight

I notice a *slight* build up of dead skin on my arm

I start scrubbing at it

I can't stop

I end up scrubbing everywhere I can reach on my body so hard I leave marks and clog the hair catcher

I finally move on to my scalp

The gunk won't stop

I scrub in the shower for over 2 hours

I finally get out of the shower and dry off

More dead skin

I rub at it with the towel until it hurts

I ask someone I live with (she picks at my scalp all the time) to see if she wants to try getting three last of the gunk off

She informs me I can't get it without shampoo

I now need another shower

...and I'm itchy like I was before my shower

[blairelythere]

Hi, sorry for bothering you, but you're hot as heck, and as someone who recently left her eggshell, I wanted to ask. How do I get as hot as you, or even half as hot as you?

Thank you so much 🥰

I can't attest to if I'm super hot or not, but I can tell you what you can do to help improve your own self-confidence!

Ass exercises.

So much ass exercise. My life is ass exercise. Squats. Fallouts. Kettlebell swings. Running. And eat lots of lean protein while doing this so it builds muscle properly. Don't skimp on fatty foods if you're doing HRT because your body will be distributing those fats to new places.

Skin care.

Exfoliate. Use body and face lotion. Find a step-by-step routine. Avoid foods that cause breakouts and oil buildup. Use under-eye serum.

Hair care.

Find a high-end shampoo and conditioner designed specifically for your type of hair. Find a wash cycle that's healthy for your scalp (ie. Don't wash your hair every single day). Use a satin pillowcase so the oils aren't stripped from your hair.

Sleep.

Go to sleep at the same time every night and wake up at the same time every day. This does amazing things for your skin, mental health, and energy. It is very hard to get into the rhythm of, but your body will be so happy once it does.

Clothing.

Test LOTS of clothing and find what shapes to your body in a flattering way. You won't find things immediately, but don't give up. This is one of the biggest parts of trial and error that you'll go through. It takes so much time and research to find clothing styles, stores, and accessories that you like. Be patient with yourself.

Good luck to your life beyond the eggshell! 💛

[normal-with-adhd-is-a-joke]

just a reminder for my friends with itchy scalp and dandruff that it's not always caused by scalp dirtiness or buildup. If you're using all kinds of clarifying shampoos and find that your problem returns in full force shortly after you shower it might be that your scalp is dry, not dirty. I spent years struggling to get my scalp to stop itching and flaking and it turns out that I just have chronically dry skin on my head. I bought jojoba oil to try to revive my dead ends and put some on my scalp out of curiosity after seeing some hair oiling Tiktoks. Now I'm able to survive between showers without itching my scalp raw. I massage it in, let it sit for 10 or so minutes, and then wash and condition my hair as normal. I also recommend moving away from clarifying shampoos to something advertised as moisturizing or nourishing, if your hair feels like straw after you shampoo it you might be stripping too much of your natural hair oil off. If you're someone who switches and gets an oily scalp during warmer, wetter weather you can go back to using a clarifying shampoo during the warmer months.

If nothing you try is working, a dermatologist will likely be able to find the cause and help you fix it. Some scalp irritation is caused by a larger issues like psoriasis, eczema, allergies, or a scalp yeast infection that you won't be able to treat on your own. Dandruff and itchy scalp are real, often disruptive problems that you deserve relief from.

[commiekinkshamer]

hey I just wanted to reassure you that itching TOTALLY can be psychosomatic. All anybody has to do is mention certain bugs around me and I start scratching and getting anxious even when I know there aren't any near. Every time I've seen a post of yours about this I start scratching my head and I definitely don't have them. It's a very easy thing for anxiety to cause. if your bf looked and didn't see anything, you're almost definitely in the clear. Dandruff is probably the culprit and that can be caused by oily scalp, product buildup, or just your scalp reacting to some change. That said if you ever DO have l*ce it's really not a huge deal, it's unlikely to be in your clean clothes and won't stray far from a food source so it's just washing & heated drying your sheets as normal and doing a hair treatment, then pouring boiling water over your brushes or just visually making sure they're clean. It's def one of the very easiest to deal with, you've dealt with worse.

I hope this doesn't come off as like condescending I just have some similar anxiety buttons so I wanted to tell you - you're gonna be fine, you probably don't have them but if you ever do they're SO easy to get rid of.

Tysm!! Not condescending at all- and honestly after the p****rm experience literally not much worse lol truly! Not to be gross but I basically confirmed it was dry skin or dandruff? The white flakes are not attaching to my hair, and nits cling to hair. And yeah my boyfriend didn’t see anything so I’m feeling a lot better now! I got some medicated shampoo although I’m not sure if it will work. I had this problem when I was kid and my grandmother (who’s ultra scared of parasites like me) took me to a doctor snd he said it was a type of dandruff caused by dry skin not a fungal problem, and there’s certain treatments you use for that that differ, and definitely not lice, so idk why I panicked so much but yeah. Im going to try to get some moisture treatments too.

💕🙏

[afromeda]

Wash Day & Moisturizing Routine

So from start to finish, a regular wash day for me takes about 1-1.5 hours. If my mum is helping me out with detangling & braiding, or I need to do a specific condition treatment, it can go to 2-2.5 hours total. I've learned to modify my routine to not have it last the whole day. I wash my hair about once a week. That's usually a Natural No No 😂 but it works for me. My hair doesn't like going even two weeks without a wash—one month is a death sentence. I definitely don't wash it every day. Now that's too much. Find your balance!

Planning when to have your wash day can help! You'll have less stress while doing your hair and can take the time to give proper care and going through your techniques.

Here, I'm just going to go over the most normal routine. There are days I may do bentonite clay treatments or protein conditioning that I set up different recipes for, but putting all those here would make this long post take forever to scroll through lol. If you'd like, use my routine as an example for your own regimen!

1) Prep

For my hair, I use Eden BodyWorks products. I keep my shampoo and conditioner in the bathroom to make this easier. I bring along a wide tooth comb and section my hair into 4 big pieces. You can do this with clips or braids! I use braids and really only make them tight at the ends so they don't unravel but still allow water to touch my roots.

2) Wash

I wet my hair thoroughly with hot water (not too hot!). While in braids, I apply shampoo to my roots/scalp, making sure I scratch out buildup. If I know it won't take just one lather of shampoo to wash it off—like if there's gel stuck to the majority of hair stands—I'll take the braids out by section and scrub those as well.

I apply conditioner to each section by unbraiding them, comb through while there is a generous amount of conditioner, then I'd braid them up again. You can leave this in for about 3-5 mins.

While you wait, you can do other things: wash yourself, shave, etc. If you're doing a deep conditioning, you could also throw on a plastic cap and go about your business since these ask for 30 mins to an hour. If you're in the shower for wash day, it may be harder to jump out and right back in; for longer times, it's totally better to get out than stand in your shower for an hour. That's self torture.

When it's time to rinse, you'd want to use cooler water. Hot water "opens" your hair strands, allowing the water to move in and out more freely. The cooler water would "close" your strands, locking in more water and nutrients from the conditioner. Ideally, your final rinse should be cold water. It would also help cut down on frizz (usually... Unless your hair is like mine and has its own laws).

And that's the "wash" part! I undid my braids before rinsing off the conditioner to see where my shrinkage was when my hair is wet. Parting is easier when my hair is wet as well, so putting it back into sections after a mini photoshoot was no problem. You can even see my array of curl patterns and frizz starting to set in.

3) Lock In Moisture

The less-fun-but-important part is moisturizing. Yes, I did do that in the wash, but this is more about keeping the moisture as well as making sure my hair is all packed with moisture and nutrients.

If I'm planning a style for work or something, I would do new parts so my hair can fall how I want it to. If I'm not going anywhere where I need to really dress up, but I'm still going out, I do about 8 braids so their manageable. Otherwise, I stick to 4 big braids just to keep them safe and tucked away until I remoisturize in about 2-3 days. This part will vary largely on how you want it. While I work on one section, I keep the others braided so they don't go messing me up.

I use the LCO method for each section: leave-in (or liquid), cream, and oil. Something about the oil going last just really works on my hair. I used to do cream last and it would spike up the frizz. I apply my leave-in conditioner, my curl defining cream, finger detangle to make sure everything all in my hair and at every strand and end. I use my mixture of Haitian castor oil and peppermint oil to seal it all in (I believe black castor oil is the same if you see it in stores. I just make my own mix). When I'm done, I braid my hair and move on.

Note: natural castor oil doesn't smell the best. So in addition to stimulating the scalp/follicles, the peppermint obscures the scent. Win-win.

By the end, my hair is fresh and braided. And that's it! If my ends are frayed, I just do a quick trim while they're still braided. By the next day, my hair is dry and ready for a braidout—or it'll stay in braids for a couple days more.

To remoisturize: after a few days, I would unbraid the hair, spray water on it (I have those spray things. Target, beauty supply stores, and similar places have them for cheap), and use leave-in conditioner and oil. The curl defining cream can get too heavy for my hair if I apply it too often. With a lighter cream, it may be possible to use!