#then i realised i only got thru them before bc i was distracting myself

[littlestarwantstoglow]

when you distract yourself and hide away from difficult situations, you lose the opportunity to learn from them

[lilly-kittyeyes]

today!!!! I’m doing amazingly!!!!! I’m very proud of myself!!!!

I woke up before my alarm went off so I had extra time, and in the morning, instead of moping in bed for 2 hours, I got up after half an hour, went for a walk, and then watched some funny videos on youtube to power myself for the day (it really works!!! funny stuff give me life power to get thru the day!!! very useful!!)

and then I went out n put some of the fallen leaves into bags and raked the front yard a bit, then called the psychiatry for an appointment and the lady was sUPER nice to me even tho I couldn’t actually make an appointment (i’ve called them like a billion times and it stressed me out) and they dont know when the doctors will be available for an interview so I just have to keep calling them over and over and over but she was rlly nice and encouraging so I felt good about it

then I went out to buy myself a new notebook, then spent hours reading this self-help book and taking notes, prepared my dinner, drew some of my OCs as a way of winding down

then I was about to continue reading the book but I realised we’re running out of toilet paper and I was the only one at home so I went to the store to buy some, and on the way there who do I meet?

this old guy I mentioned once, who’s my neighbour and I came out to him as a lesbian and he admitted he was bi. which would be fine, but ever since that he KEEPS TALKING TO ME ABOUT THAT and it’s starting to get really annoying. he’s a complete stranger why does he want to talk about my orientation all the time???? so I’ve been avoiding him even more but I ran into him today and he starts talking to me and I don’t want to just leave cuz I don’t want to offend ppl and also he looked like he was crying or something and I felt bad and he started to ask really personal stuff about my orientation and AGAIN he’s an old man who I hardly know and he makes me uncomfortable all the time and keeps coming closer to me when I’m backing away and tHEN he compliments my appearance... so anyway I excused myself after a while and left but I was worried about encountering him on the way back

but no, on the way back I met one of my middle school teachers who I like and I greet her and we start talking - but of course she asks me about school and work, which I’m rlly sensitive about because idk where my life is headed anymore and it makes me uneasy but I don’t dare to tell her that

ANYWAY when I come home I feel Bad™ bc of these encounters BUT instead of distracting myself and hoping it passes or spiralling down into a breakdown I imagine my professional mom OC Bernadette cuddling and comforting me and saying things like “You didn’t deserve to be treated like that” and “I wish you had the strenght to set your boundaries. It’s not your fault that you couldn’t. I wish I could’ve been there to protect you” and saying she loves me unconditionally and im like lsjafjémcvaémciéacméiamc

I’m REALLY doing well today my morning was super productive and the Bernadette one is the peak of emotional self-care BOY I’M THRIVING