#then i end up crying (i usually to to avoid crying in front of anyone though so i try to go to the bathroom for that)

[martian-astro10]

Astrology observations - Part 5 (use whole signs)

🌶️ I've noticed that Saturn in 8th house people always end up having to give their hard earned Money to their in-laws, like they're never able to keep it and if not in-laws then they end up losing it in some other way.

🍵 Saturn in 10th house people usually have a very bad relationship with their fathers, I know so many people with this and it's true for all of them (tbf, their fathers deserve it, so I don't blame them). Whenever i visit them, their father will start fighting even when I'm present 🥲 like some parents atleast pretend to be on good terms in front of others, but theirs do not.

🌶️ On the other hand, moon in 9th house people are usually very close to their father. He may not always be emotionally present in their lives but they still have this desire to prove their worth to him. But most people I know, who have this, actually love their dad and frequently spend time with him. It's cute.

🍵Mars/Sun in the 1st house people are some of the most ambitious individuals. I noticed that many billionaires have this. It doesn't mean that they're good at what they do, it's more like, they'll step over anyone to get what they want, can be greedy as well. If a person has sun AND mars in 1st..... don't mess with them, because they will RUIN your life.

🌶️ Jupiter in 2nd house people suck at financial management, these people are so talented and will do a great job, get paid a hefty amount, and then just lose all that money, I actually don't even know how they manage to do it, but they just do 😭. If you have this, please give your salary to someone more responsible and only then will you be able to become rich.

🍵3rd lord in 12th house people ALWAYS do better in life when they leave their birth land. Nothing goes their way as long as they stay where they were born, but once they move abroad, it's like, their whole personality changes (in a good way), they also start feeling more comfortable in expressing their talents.

🌶️ Sun in 2nd house people are REALLY good singers, I don't know about the celebrities, but we have so many amazing singers in our university and all of them have sun in 2nd house, the type depends on the sign. But all of them have such a beautiful voice.

🍵 Saturn in 2nd house people are the ones who act like the elder sibling even when they're the youngest or the only child. Idk how to explain it, but they just have the "oldest child" energy. They're very responsible and I know people with this, whose parents did not treat them in a good way and yet they do not hold a grudge, they're like "it's okay, they were also having problems of their own, so I get it, I know they actually love me" and it's.....kind of sad. But also, very inspiring in a way. They're also very very responsible with money. They know how hard it is to earn before they even start working themselves.

🌶️ Mars in 3rd...these people....first of all, if you're reading this, please learn to talk slowly bro. These people always be talking like they gonna miss out some shit 😭, like bro calm down. Also, they wanna argue ALL THE TIME. I have a friend with this and and she makes ME cry with how long she's able to argue, they will make you agree with them before they leave you alone. So now whenever she says something that I don't agree with, I just go "yeah, you're actually right" cuz I'm NOT taking risks.

🍵 Mercury in 3rd house people can be amazing journalists and writers. They really have this ability to make you FEEL things through their writing, especially if it's in a water sign. Can be very passionate about certain social causes as well. I know two people with this and both of them have a secret twitter and Tumblr account and they refuse to tell us the username. So, they like to fight for things, from behind the scenes and avoid spotlight.

© martian-astro All rights reserved, 2024

[thewickedjazzy]

𓍼𝑽𝒊𝒍𝒍𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝑶𝒇 𝑴𝒚 𝑶𝒘𝒏 𝑺𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒚𓂃

➵ 𝓟𝓪𝓲𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼 : Beast! Dazai osamu x f! reader

➵ 𝓘𝓷𝓽𝓻𝓸: You are Dazai's favourite—an executive who avoided unnecessary bloodshed, preferring to strategize behind the scenes. With your cunning plans, you helped the Port Mafia flourish after Mori's death, and under Dazai's leadership, you became vital in securing the organization's power.

➵ 𝓒𝓸𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓷𝓽: NSFW minor dni, smut, angst, dazai is controlling, yandere dazai?, character death, abuse, guns, blood, SA, dissociation, manipulation, unhealthy relationship, let me know if I forgot any Xx.

➵ 𝓐𝓾𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓻'𝓼 𝓷𝓸𝓽𝓮: Helloooo, this fic took me 3 weeks to finish, I'm always down with angst stories cause, let's be real, no bsd fan doesn't like angst, right? also, ice cream man by raye inspired me to write some parts uwu I hope you enjoy it. xoxo -dividers credits to @anitalenia

➵ 𝓦𝓸𝓻𝓭 𝓬𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓽: 6.8k

You shouldn't be crying. You already did beat the man up till he was shaking, but you couldn't help it. You can still feel his ice-cold hands marking your body, a sensation that sends shivers down your spine. How you wish you could express how you feel, how you felt in that moment when your strength faltered. You long to explain why you’re silently blaming yourself, why the guilt gnaws at your insides like a relentless parasite.

You put on these faces, pretending you're fine, wearing a mask of strength that you desperately want to believe in. But in the privacy of the bathroom, you press rewind, playing the events over and over in your head. His fingerprints, like invisible stains, linger on your skin, a cruel reminder of how he made you frame yourself for his sins. Such a pathetic, dead excuse of a man.

The man in question wasn’t just some random thug—he was your crazy ex, the one who had haunted you for years, refusing to let go, even after everything had ended. You hadn’t told anyone about the encounter. What would they think? What would he think? Dazai, with his sharp eyes and sharper mind, would see right through you. He always did.

You straighten up and hastily wipe your tears away as you hear a knock on the door. The sound sends a jolt through your body, and you quickly compose yourself, trying to erase any trace of vulnerability from your face.

Seated at your desk, you take a deep breath and call out, "Come in."

The door opens, and it's Chuuya, greeting you with his usual smile. But the moment his eyes land on you, the smile drops, concern filling his gaze as he takes in your red nose and puffy eyes.

“Hey, you okay?”' he asks with a low and gentle voice.

You force a weak smile, shaking your head. "Yeah..just... pmsing," you lie, the excuse feeling hollow even to you. You get up walking towards him before adding quickly, "Please don’t tell Dazai."

Chuuya hesitates, his eyes searching yours, before he nods, accepting your words without question. He hands you his handkerchief, his expression softening with sympathy as you take it from him.

You dab at your eyes, feeling the wetness seep into it, and then take a deep breath. You can’t afford to break down, not now. Not in front of him.

He escorted you to Dazai’s office, his presence a quiet comfort. At the door, he gave you a final, soft look before turning away.

The office door creaked open, and you stepped inside, the chill of the room amplifying the coldness you already felt. Dazai looked up from his desk, his eyes narrowing slightly as he took in your disheveled state.

“Rough day?” he asked, voice so velvetly soft that it could melt you.

You tried to muster a casual smile, but it felt hollow. “Just had a run-in with some old... baggage. Nothing to worry about.”

Dazai’s eyes didn’t leave you, his expression shifting to something more serious. “You know I don’t buy that ‘nothing’ act. What’s really going on?”

You took a deep breath, struggling to keep your voice steady. “It’s really not your concern. I’m handling it.”

Dazai’s gaze was sharp as he looked you up from his desk, his usual lazy posture replaced by a steely focus. “Come here,” he said, a command wrapped in casual tones.

Reluctantly, you approached, his eyes never leaving you. He patted his lap, a gesture both familiar and unsettling. “Sit.”

You shook your head, trying to avoid his intense stare, oh god how he toys with your emotions. “I’m fine standing.”

Dazai’s expression darkened slightly, his patience wearing thin. He reached out, his fingers grazing your wrist as he pulled you closer. The touch was feather-light but unmistakably commanding. He guided you gently onto his lap, his hands resting on your waist.

You stiffened, trying to keep your breathing steady. “Osamu, really, it’s nothing.”

Ignoring your protests, Dazai’s lips brushed against your neck, his kisses soft but insistent. You tilted your head, a soft whimper escaping your lips. The sensation was like a nicotine hit after a long withdrawal; you had been away on a mission for three days, and you had missed his touch more than you cared to admit. As his lips continued their tender assault, he pulled your shirt down slightly, revealing the fresh bruise that marred your skin.

Dazai’s eyes narrowed, a dangerous glint reflecting in them. The bruise was vivid, a stark contrast against your pale skin, and his expression darkened as he took in the sight.

“Who did this?” he asked coldly, his voice remained low.

You turned your head away, refusing to meet his gaze. “It’s not important.”

Dazai’s hand tightened on your waist, his grip firm and unyielding as he tilted your head back. His kisses turned sharper, more insistent, and you couldn’t help but let out soft whimpers. His breath was warm against your skin, his lips pressing harder with each passing second. “I said who did this..”

You swallowed hard, the pressure of his words mixing with the lingering sting of the bruise. “It’s nothing. Just...someone from my past.”

His grip remained unyielding, his gaze piercing. “I don’t like secrets. Especially ones that involve you getting hurt.”

The room seemed to shrink around you, the weight of his expectations pressing down. You felt cornered, unable to escape the intensity of his scrutiny. “I said it’s nothing. Please, just let it go.”

Dazai’s expression remained impassive for a moment, then he simply nodded. The acknowledgment was neither reassuring nor dismissive, leaving a cold tension in the air.

After a few seconds of silence Dazai's voice cut through the room, his fingers still brushing against your skin. “The thing is, my love, you don’t have to tell me anything.” He turned to the intercom on his desk, his tone shifting to a cold, commanding edge. “Atsushi, you can bring him in now.”

Your eyes widened in shock, your legs going weak as you tried to turn your head towards the door. It creaked open slightly, and Atsushi rushed in, dragging your ex behind him. Your ex’s hands were bound tightly, and he was unconscious, a cloth over his mouth. Atsushi tossed him roughly onto the floor and announced, “I brought him alive, just as you ordered.”

“Good work, Atsushi,” he said calmly. “You can leave now.”

Dazai’s gaze remained on you, his smile twisted with a cruel satisfaction as Atsushi closed the door behind him. He lifted your legs lightly, forcing you to stand as he moved toward the prone figure of your ex, who was beginning to stir. Dazai’s fingers traced along your ex’s jawline with an unsettling gentleness.

Horror gripped you as you watched, understanding what was about to unfold. You begged, your voice trembling, “Please, Dazai, don’t kill him.”

He merely tsked in response, his eyes cold and unyielding. “I’m not going to kill him.”

Before you could take a deep breath, his voice sliced through the tension like an arrow. “You are the one who's going to do it.” He gently grabs your hands placing a gun between them.

Your hands trembled as you held the gun, the cold metal biting into your palms. The room was deathly silent except for the faint, ragged breaths of your ex as he began to regain consciousness. His eyes fluttered open, revealing a mix of confusion and fear as he took in his surroundings.

Dazai’s cold eyes were locked on you.“Go on,” he urged softly. “You wanted him to suffer for what he did. Here’s your chance.”

The gun felt impossibly heavy, and your heart pounded in your chest. You glanced at your ex, his eyes widening in terror as he realized what was happening. “Please,” you whispered, more to yourself than to anyone else. “This isn’t what I wanted.”

Dazai’s smile widened slightly. “It doesn’t matter what you wanted. You’ve been given a choice. What will you do with it?”

Your mind raced, grappling with the gravity of the situation. You thought of the pain he’d caused you, the fear he had instilled, and the bruises that still stung. Yet, the thought of ending his life filled you with a profound dread. You felt trapped, the decision crushing under the weight of Dazai’s expectation and your own turmoil.

“Do it,” Dazai said, his voice a soft command, almost a caress. “Or I’ll do it for you. But if I do, you’ll have missed your chance to decide your own fate.”

Your eyes filled with tears as you faced your ex, his terror and confusion mirroring your own. Choked sobs left you lips Dazai’s gaze followed every movement with a sick interest.

“Please, Dazai..don’t make me do this,” you pleaded, your voice cracking.

Dazai’s expressionwas stoic as ever. “You’re not being asked to make a choice you can’t live with. You’re being given the chance to claim control over your own life.”

With a final, desperate look at your ex, you closed your eyes, trying to steady your breathing. The gun felt like a lead weight in your hand, the gravity of your decision pressing down on you. Finally, with a heavy heart and trembling hands, you raised the gun.

You closed your eyes tightly, the room spinning as you tried to steady your racing heart. The gun trembled in your grip, the weight of the decision nearly unbearable. You heard Dazai move behind you, his footsteps silent against the floor.

His presence was almost soothing as he came closer, but you knew better than to trust the comfort of his proximity. Dazai's hands settled on your outstretched arms, his touch both firm and unsettlingly gentle. His fingers caressed the metal of the gun, guiding it with a measured pressure.

“You don’t need to hesitate,” Dazai murmured softly into your ear, his breath warm against your skin. “You’ve already made the decision. Now, you just need to follow through.”

The sensation of his hands on yours, the intimate pressure of his grip, made your breathing shallow and uneven. You felt a dark, twisted sense of helplessness as his fingers guided the gun, aligning it with your ex’s trembling form.

“I’ll count to three,” Dazai continued, his voice was steady “And when I reach three, I want you to pull the trigger. Don’t let yourself falter.”

You felt his breath on your neck, his lips brushing against your skin as he spoke. The intimacy of his touch contrasted sharply with the gravity of the moment. You wanted to pull away, to escape the suffocating pressure, but his grip held you firmly in place.

“One,” Dazai said, his voice calm as he pressed a soft kiss on your neck.

Your tears fell silently as you fought against the urge to drop the gun.

“Two,” Dazai’s breath was warm as he pressed another kiss.

You could hear your ex’s shallow breaths, his eyes pleading as they met yours.

“Three,” Dazai said, his voice now a commanding whisper.

With a final, shuddering breath, you squeezed your eyes shut, trying to block out the world as you pulled the trigger. The sound of the shot echoed painfully in the room, and you felt the impact of the action resonate through your very core.

You opened your eyes, your arms fell limp as the gun slipped from your grasp, hitting the floor with a hollow clatter. You staggered back, your legs barely holding you upright, and turned away from the grim sight before you.

Dazai’s grip on your shoulders was a cold anchor as he held you steady, his touch paradoxically soothing yet possessive. You could feel his breath against your neck as he leaned in close, his voice a chilling murmur. “Well done,” he said placing soft kisses again as his arms wrapped around your waist pulling your back against his chest. “You’ve proven your resolve.”

You felt a wave of nausea and despair wash over you, your emotions a tangled mess of guilt and horror. The room spun as you tried to make sense of the scene in front of you. The body on the floor was now still, the weight of your actions sinking in with a heavy finality.

Dazai’s hands slid down to your wrists, his touch now insistent as he forced you to look at the aftermath. “Do you see what you’ve done?” he asked softly, his voice a mix of praise and dark satisfaction. “You’ve taken control of your own fate.”

You tried to pull away, but his grip was firm, his presence an oppressive force that left you feeling trapped. Your eyes darted around the room, searching for any semblance of escape, but all you found was the unyielding gaze of Dazai, his face reflecting a mixture of cold pleasure and calculated dominance.

His fingers gently traced your jawline, his touch both tender and unsettling. “It’s done now,” he said, his voice almost affectionate. “You did great, my love.”

The finality of his words echoed in your mind as you struggled to come to terms with what had just happened. The tears streaming down your face were a testament to the turmoil within you, the depth of your inner conflict clear as you fought to keep yourself composed.

Dazai’s hands gently turned you around to face him. His expression, though tinged with satisfaction, softened as he wiped away the tears streaming down your face. His touch was tender, almost reverent, as he carefully brushed away the last remnants of your distress.

He leaned in, his lips meeting yours in a soft, lingering kiss. The tenderness of the moment was jarring against the harsh reality of what had just occurred. His lips moved gently against yours, and he licked your bottom lip before drawing it into a passionate, consuming kiss.

The warmth of his kiss contrasted sharply with the icy numbness you felt inside. You felt his fingers trace your face, lingering on the slight traces of blood that you hadn’t even noticed. His touch was delicate, almost intimate, as he wiped away the remnants with careful precision.

Dazai pulled away from the kiss, his expression unreadable as he reached for the intercom on his desk. “Atsushi,” he said with a cold, commanding tone, “bring in the clean-up crew. Dispose the body.”

Atsushi entered the room, his eyes shifting between you and Dazai. He bowed slightly, acknowledging the order before moving towards the body. As he lifted your ex’s lifeless form, the finality of the situation hit you with renewed force. You stared blankly, more tears streaming down your face, as Atsushi carried the body out and closed the door behind him.

The room was filled with the soft hum of Dazai’s presence as he moved back in front of you. He gently placed his hands on your cheeks, shushing you softly as your sobs grew louder. “Shh, it’s alright,”he murmured, his voice almost soothing.

You couldn’t stop the tears from flowing, your sobs escaping in ragged bursts. Dazai’s arms wrapped around you, pulling you tightly against his chest. His embrace was both comforting and suffocating.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice a murmur against your hair. ���I know it was hard.”

You could barely respond, the weight of your own emotions too heavy to articulate. All you could do was clutch at him, your sobs muffled against his chest as the realization of what had happened continued to sink in. You hated him, and yet, in the chaos of your emotions, you felt a desperate, confusing affection for him—a love that seemed to only grow more complicated in the aftermath of his actions.

Dazai’s fingers gently combed through your hair, his touch soothing despite the circumstances. “It’s all over now,” he said softly.

His lips brushed against your forehead in a tender kiss, “He should've known better than to touch what's mine.”

The room was filled with the constant contact of your colliding bodies. Your body arched against the rumpled sheets as his thrusts filled you completely, each stroke hitting exactly the right spots.

" Mmm.. that's it my love, take my cock all the way inside this pretty eager pussy of yours" he growled softly against your skin.

You relished the way every thrust brushed against your cervix, sending waves of pleasure through you. The intensity of his movements left you feeling utterly consumed, your mind hazed and eyes glossy with desire. Your fingers dug into his back, desperately clutching him as he moved with a raw intensity.

His lips traveled down your neck, biting and kissing with a fervent need. One hand cupped your breast with a possessive grip while his mouth hovered over the other, teasing with gentle flicks of his tongue and playful nips at your nipple. The mix of sensations was overwhelming, your moans filling the space between you.

Yet, even in the midst of this passion, your mind began to wander. The memories of the past few days—the confrontation, the guilt, and Dazai’s chilling command—flooded your thoughts, turning the intense pleasure into a distant murmur. You felt a growing disconnection, your body reacting while your mind struggled to stay present.

Sensing the abrupt change, Dazai felt as if he were thrusting into a lifeless body. He slowed his movements and pulled back slightly, his gaze meeting yours with a rare softness. “What’s wrong, my love?” he asked, concern filling his lustrous gaze.

You took a few deep breaths, trying to steady yourself as your voice, though shaky, was firm. “It’s fine,” you reassured him, forcing a weak smile. “I just... got lost in my thoughts for a moment. It’s nothing.” You reached out to gently touch his cheek, trying to convey that the issue was more internal than it was about him.

Dazai took a deep breath and shifted to sit upright, his concern still evident. “You're still thinking about it, right?” he asked, his voice tinged with genuine worry.

"Please, just forget about it." you said, pulling his wrist with a firm but gentle grip. Before he could respond, you pressed your lips against his, kissing him deeply to steer your focus back to the present.

Dazai gasped into the kiss, his breath hitching as your kissed him with fervor. He gently pinned your wrists down with a possessive grip, his lips trailing soft kisses along your chest. He positioned himself again, his cock pressing against your throbbing cunt, his voice a low murmur.

“We can stop if it’s too much, my love,” he whispered as his chest moves up and down with each breath.

You locked gaze with his eyes, “Just fuck me already,” you breathed. You wanted to reclaim the moment, to bury the past beneath the intense passion that bound you both.

He slams his cock into you again, filling you completely. A growl escapes his lips as he watches you squirm beneath him, clearly enjoying the sight of your reactions. His thrusts become more powerful, and he showers your neck, chest, and breasts with fervent kisses.

"So addict to my cock, love? Hmm?" he continues to taunt you with his words and delivers a firm slap to your ass, making you shiver from his touch.

You gasp, arching your back as his thrusts hit all the right spots. “It feels so good, 'samu” you breathe, trying to steady yourself.

He slaps your ass again, making you shiver and whimper. “Say it again, my love haah~ I need to hear you say how good ugh~I’m making you feel.”

“s'good,” you moan, your voice breaking.

"Good" with a satisfied growl, he pulls out. “Now, ride me.”

You nod, your legs trembling in anticipation. As you position yourself over him, he hisses at the sensation of your cold hand guiding his hard, leaking cock to your eager, wet cunt.

As you sink down onto him, your walls stretches to accommodate his size, a deep moan slipping from your lips as you take him in fully. The feeling is overwhelming, your inner walls tightening around him, drawing a sharp gasp from both of you.

His long slender fingers grip your hips, helping you find a rhythm as you begin to ride against him. Each roll of your hips sends waves of pleasure through you, the friction making you shudder.

You lean forward, your fingers fumbling as you carefully remove the bandage from his eye. Your breath is hot against his neck as you whisper, “’Samu, I love you.” Your body presses against his, and with a surge of passion, you begin to ride him at a faster pace, each movement gaining a growl from him.

His eye, now fully exposed, darkens with lust as he gazes up at you. “I love you too, darling,” he murmurs through soft gasps. He meets your rhythm with powerful thrusts, each one driving deeper into you, matching your pace perfectly.

Feeling the pressure building within you, your moans grow louder. “I’m... close, ‘Samu,” you gasp, your trembling hands held onto his shoulders for support as you ride him faster, rolling your hips against his perfect sized cock feeling him hit every spot with his thrusts against you.

A smirk tugs at his lips as he groans in pleasure. “Oh yeah? Come all over my cock, love,” beads of sweat rolling down his temples, his words sending you spiraling closer to the edge. His hands grip your hips tightly, guiding you through the overwhelming waves of pleasure as your body trembles in his grasp.

The coil inside you finally snaps, releasing a wave of ecstasy that washes over you. “Yes, yes, yes, I’m coming, ah~ hmm~,” you cry out, your body going numb from the overwhelming pleasure. Your juices flow freely, spilling down and coating his cock as his thrusts become more intense, shaking your body upwards.

Dazai's growls of satisfaction mix with your moans as he thrusts upward forcefully, riding out his own climax. His body shudders with the release, and he moans loudly, his pleasure echoing through the room.

As the intense waves of pleasure begin to subside, Dazai slowly pulls out, his breath heavy and ragged. He wraps his arms around you, holding you close tenderly. The warmth of his embrace soothes you, bringing a sense of comfort and safety as you both calm down from your shared high. His fingers gently caress circles on your back, his breathing gradually steadying as he murmurs softly into your ear, “God, you did so well, my love.”

You watch him as he gets up, stretching slightly before heading towards the bathroom, the soft hum of water barely filling the room as he turns on the shower. The warmth of the bed still lingers around you, but it does little to quell the chill creeping into your thoughts.

Your mind drifts back to that moment a few days ago. The weight of the gun in your hand, the resistance of the trigger as you squeezed it—it's all so vivid, so real, that it feels as if you're still there, frozen in that moment. You can almost hear the echoes of the shot ringing in your ears, see the flash of surprise in his eyes as life slipped away from him.

You shake your head, trying to dispel the images, but they cling stubbornly, refusing to let go.

He calls your name from the shower, his voice gentle, inviting, yet tinged with concern when you don’t respond immediately. The sound is almost enough to pull you back, but your mind remains caught in that dark place, replaying the scene over and over.

"My love?" another call, softer this time, as he pushes the already ajar bathroom door further open to check on you. His presence pulls you back just enough to acknowledge him, to let the past slip away—at least for now.

His eyes meet yours, concern etched on his face. “Are you okay?”

You nod, forcing yourself to sit up. “I’m fine,” You managed to get off the bed, the cool air brushing against your naked skin, grounding you somewhat.

As you step into the bathroom, your body moves on autopilot, but your mind remains distant. You tell yourself that in a week or so, the memory will fade, that the guilt will lessen, that you’ll forget. But deep down, you know it's just another lie you’re feeding yourself, another attempt to bury the truth under layers of denial.

He steps aside to let you join him under the warm cascade of water, his arms wrapping around you as he senses your unease. “Hey,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to your temple, “you’re safe with me, my love.”

You nod, leaning into his embrace, but the words feel hollow, the comfort fleeting. The water washes over you, warm and soothing, but it can’t cleanse the darkness that lingers within.

You stood in front of the mirror, the dim light casting shadows on your face. Your reflection stared back at you, hollow eyes and a face pale from sleepless nights. The trauma of the past week weighed heavily on you, the memory of the blood-soaked room and the desperate cries of your ex replaying in your mind over and over again.

It had been a week since that horrifying event, but still the memory still clung to your mind like a stubborn stain. Dazai had been more affectionate than usual since then, uncharacteristically tender in his way.

The intimacy between you had taken on a new, softer turn, the moments shared tinged with an almost fragile gentleness. His eyes, once so sharp, now held an unsettling softness, as if he were trying to erase the darkness with his own brand of twisted comfort.

You couldn’t shake the feeling that you were trapped—caught in a web he’d spun so intricately that you hadn’t even noticed until it was too late.

You had tried to bury the memory, to push it away with every ounce of strength you had. But it never really left, lurking in the corners of your mind—what you had been forced to do.

You needed a break, a breath of fresh air, anything to push back the suffocating fog that had taken over your mind. So, you grabbed your coat, slipped into your favourite boots, and stepped out of your apartment, clinging to the hope of finding some shred of normalcy.

The bar was a refuge, a place where the world’s harsh edges seemed to dull. It was where you went to forget, even if only for a little while. As you walked through the door, the familiar clink of glasses and murmur of conversation welcomed you. The warmth inside, the smoky haze and soft jazz music they all played a part into easing you up even for a bit.

You made your way to the bar, your usual seat already occupied. The bartender greeted you with a nod, his understanding gaze a small comfort. You ordered your drink and settled into your chair, trying to shake off the lingering heaviness from the past week.

Your phone buzzed, pulling you from your thoughts. You picked it up and saw a message from Chuuya: "Hey, just checking in. Are you okay? I’m worried about you."

You typed back: "I’m fine, just needed some time to clear my head. At the bar now, trying to relax a bit." You hit send and put your phone down, taking a deep breath to calm yourself.

That's when you heard a familiar voice. You looked up and saw Kaito standing there, a surprise that made your heart skip. It had been years since you last saw him. He was the one who had helped you escape from your ex's grip, the only person who had reached out to pull you from that nightmare.

“Hey..." he said, his voice warm but edged with worry. “Didn’t expect to see you here.”

You gestured to the empty seat beside you. “Sit. I could use the company.”

Kaito slid into the chair, his gaze softening as he looked at you. “You look... different. Is everything okay?”

The question was like a trigger, a floodgate that opened the dam of your emotions. You looked away, taking a deep breath. “It’s been... a rough week.”

He looked at you concerned, but he didn’t press further. Instead, he ordered a drink, and the two of you sat in silence for a while, before he broke the silence.

“I heard your ex went missing. I just wanted to check in...uh...make sure you’re alright. I know how much he hurt you.”

The mention of your ex was like a punch to the gut, the memory of that night resurfacing with cruel clarity. You struggled to keep your composure, taking a sip of your drink to steady yourself. “I... I don’t know what happened to him.”

Kaito’s eyes searched yours, his expression a mix of concern and confusion. “I just wanted to make sure he’s not plotting anything or trying to reach you again. I know what he put you through.”

You nodded, a lump forming in your throat. “Thank you...but seriously I don't know anything about him.”

Before Kaito could respond, your phone buzzed again. You glanced at it and saw a new message from Chuuya: “If you need anything, I’m here for you.”

You were about to reply when Kaito’s voice broke through your thoughts. “ You okay? You seem a bit lost."

You forced a smile, brushing off the concern. “It’s nothing. I just needed a bit of air.”

You stood up, glancing at Kaito. “It was really nice seeing you after all tonight.”

You placed a few yen on the bar as a tip and offered Kaito a final, appreciative look before heading towards the door. Stepping out into the cool night air, you took a deep breath, hoping the walk would clear your head. Hearing the door swung shut behind you.

The crisp breeze brushed against your face as you began walking down the pavement, each step attempting to ground you in the present, you tried to focus on the rhythmic sound of your footsteps, letting the chill seep through your coat and numb your thoughts.

Just as you were beginning to lose yourself in the soothing cadence of the night, a familiar voice cut through the silence, sending a shiver down your spine. It was a voice you knew too well, one that you loved the most—Dazai’s.

Turning slowly, you saw him standing there, his figure framed by the dim streetlights.

“Out for a late-night stroll?” His voice was low and smooth so so smooth.

"Osamu" You whispered his name, barely audible over the street noise, as he approached you. His tall frame seemed to shield you from the harsh cold breeze that had been nipping at your skin.

His arms reached out, pulling you into a desperate, intense embrace. The warmth of his body pierced through the biting cold of the night. You closed your eyes, inhaling the intoxicating scent of his captivating perfume that you were addicted to.

“How are you feeling, my love?” the vibrations of his soft voice soothed you.

You murmured a reply, “Fine,” nuzzling your face into his warm chest. His coat offered a cocoon of comfort against the cold. You could feel the steady beat of his heart, a rhythm that both soothed and troubled you. His soft, cold lips brushed gentle kisses against your hairline, each touch leaving you wanting more.

Dazai’s gaze softened as he tilted your head gently, his fingers brushing against your cheeks with tender.

His lips, still cold from the evening air, found yours in a slow, deliberate kiss. The sensation was electric, a jolt of warmth that spread through you, making you forget the cold that had been clinging to you just moments before.

Your lips parted slightly, and you felt his bottom lip against yours, his kiss deepening as he traced a path of warmth across your mouth. His hands roamed softly over your body, every touch sending shivers down your spine.

When he pulled away, his eyes bore into yours filled with affection. “I’ve got a surprise for you, my love,” he whispered, his breath warm against your lips.

“A surprise?” you asked, your voice barely more than a whisper as your heart fluttered. The night’s chill seemed to dissipate as you gazed up at him, eager to discover what he had under his sleeve.

Dazai’s voice was soft, almost a whisper, as he said, “Follow me, my love.” He guided you through the city streets, leading you to his penthouse—an opulent space you were intimately familiar with. As you entered, the familiar strains of soft jazz filled the room, its soothing melodies filled your ears.

You shrugged off your coat and sank into the nearby couch, glancing up at him curious.

“You know how much I cherish you, don’t you?”

You nodded, a shiver running down your spine. What is he intending to do?

“And you remember when I swore to protect you with my life, back when we shared our first night together?” His eyes bore into yours, searching for affirmation.

Again, you nodded, feeling a knot of unease tightening in your stomach.

He reached out and took your hand, leading you to a door you had never entered before. He typed in a series of digits, and the door slid open with a soft whoosh. What lay beyond sent a jolt of shock through you: Kaito, tied up against the wall with chains, his eyes wide with fear.

You froze, your breath catching in your throat as you stared at the scene in disbelief.

Dazai’s gaze on you never wavered. “You recognize him, don’t you? The one who claimed to be your savior,” he said, his voice carrying an edge of derision. “Kaito, the one who helped you escape. Such a noble act, don’t you think?”

Your heart pounded in your chest as you stared at the sight before you. “No... no, this can’t be real,” you stammered, the words spilling from your lips in a disbelieving murmur. “This isn’t happening. Not again.”

Dazai stepped closer, his expression both smug and infuriatingly calm. “Isn’t it? How often have you been deceived by those who promised you protection and safety? This was no different.”

You shook your head, trying to process the absurdity of it all. “But Kaito—he was different! He helped me when I needed it most. You don't understand he's the only one who saved me from my ex.”

The disillusionment in your voice only seemed to amuse Dazai. “And you think that makes him any less of a threat? How easily you’ve been misled. Did you ever consider that he was simply another pawn in your ex’s game? A way to keep you within his reach?”

Your gaze shifted to Kaito, who was now looking at you with desperation. The realization that Dazai might be telling the truth hit you like a physical blow. “No, he can’t be. He was... he was kind to me. He never hurt me.”

Dazai’s gaze was unrelenting, his tone dripping with cold logic. “Kindness can be deceiving. Sometimes, it’s just a means to an end. Kaito’s actions were a calculated move, meant to keep you under control, to make you trust him while feeding information to your ex.”

Tears spilled down your cheeks as you faced Dazai, the weight of his words crushing you. “You’re... you’re insane! You can’t do this to me again. STOP IT STOP HURTING ME!”

Dazai’s hand reached up, forcing you to meet his gaze. His eyes were cold and unyielding, the warmth of his voice now a sharp contrast to the icy anger in his eyes. “I’m not insane. I’m showing you the truth, my love. Kaito was never your friend. If you don’t make a choice now, I will choose for you.”

The room seemed to close in around you, your heart pounding wildly. You were ensnared between the echoes of your past and the oppressive reality Dazai had crafted, desperately searching for an escape from the nightmare he had ensnared you in.

Dazai's lips curved into a passionate smile as he placed the cold, heavy gun into your trembling hands. The weapon, tainted with the blood of your ex, seemed to burn with its own malevolent energy. His eyes gleamed with a twisted sense of pride.

“Come on, my love,” he urged, his voice laced with a seductive intensity. “Take control of your own life. Show everyone that you’re not someone to be trifled with. Make them fear you. No one dares to hurt you again.”

His words echoed through the room, mingling with the suffocating tension that surrounded you. The weight of the gun felt like a cruel burden, a symbol of the power Dazai was forcing upon you.

As you looked at Kaito, bound and vulnerable, a storm of emotions raged inside you. Dazai’s gaze remained unwavering, his expectations clear: the choice was yours to make, but his influence loomed over every decision.

The gun felt like a leaden weight in your hands, the reality of the situation crashing down upon you. Tears streamed down your face as you crumpled, the gun slipping from your grasp and clattering to the floor. Your voice, choked with despair, broke through the oppressive silence.

“I can’t do this again... not again,” you sobbed, shaking your head furiously. You pulled your legs to your chest, curling up in a desperate attempt to shield yourself from the cruelty of Dazai’s demands.

Dazai’s expression shifted from steely determination to a weary sigh. With a resigned shake of his head, he stepped forward, reclaiming the gun from where it had fallen. His movements were deliberate, almost tender, as he aimed it at Kaito, who stared back in terror.

Three shots rang out, each one echoing with finality. The sound was deafening, reverberating through the room and drowning out your anguished cries. The finality of the act left you in stunned silence, your body trembling as you remained huddled on the floor, the gravity of what had just occurred sinking in.

“No... you didn’t...” you whispered, your voice barely audible over the pounding of your heart. Your eyes were fixed on the lifeless form of Kaito, disbelief and anguish washing over you.

Dazai’s sigh was heavy with disappointment as he shook his head slowly. “I’m disappointed in you, my love,” he said, his voice carrying a cold edge. “You couldn’t take control of your life this time. You think I’m the one hurting you? They’re the ones who’ve been hurting you all along.”

His gaze was unwavering, a mixture of pity and resolve in his eyes as he stepped closer. “I did this to protect you from them, to ensure that you’re never vulnerable again. It’s always been about keeping you safe from those who would harm you. I did what was necessary to shield you from your past.”

You shook your head violently, the world around you spinning as you scrambled to your feet. Adrenaline surged through your veins, propelling you to the door. You flung it open and sprinted down the hall, your breath coming in ragged gasps.

“Where are you going my love, please come back.” His footsteps pounded after you. “Don’t do this. I love you! This is meaningless—everything I did was to protect you!”

But you couldn’t bear to hear him anymore. “I want to stay away from you!” you screamed, your voice cracking with raw desperation.

You burst out of his penthouse and into the cold night air, the chill biting at your exposed skin. Your vision blurred with tears, making the city lights shimmer and swirl. You fumbled for your phone, dialing Chuuya’s number with trembling fingers.

The line rang a few times before a sleepy voice answered, muffled by grogginess. “Chuuya...” you gasped between breaths. “I—I'm leaving. I—will run away from here. He did it again, Chuuya.”

There was a moment of silence on the other end, followed by Chuuya’s urgent voice, now fully awake. “Where are you? Are you safe? Just stay on the line. I’m coming to get you.”

Your voice trembled as you spoke into the phone, trying to keep your words steady despite the panic swelling inside you. “Chuuya, no… don’t come. Please. I don’t want you to get into trouble. I’ll… I’ll manage to get away by myself.”

Chuuya’s voice was firm and insistent. “Don’t be stupid. I’m coming. Just tell me where you are.”

You forced yourself to keep moving, trying to steady your breath despite the adrenaline coursing through you. “Chuuya, listen to me,” you said, your voice shaking. “I just called to let you know. I need you to stay out of this. It’s too dangerous. I can’t risk you getting hurt because of me.”

“I don’t like this at all. You’re obviously not okay. I need to be there with you.” You could hear the sounds of him hurriedly getting dressed in the background.

“I’m sorry, Chuuya, but I can't-” you said firmly.

Before he could protest further, you ended the call, the sound of the disconnect echoing in the quiet of the night.

You made your way through the winding streets, heading towards a nondescript building nestled away from prying eyes. It had been your refuge years before, a place where you could escape the chaos and find peace in solitude. Now, it was the final sanctuary you turned to as you prepared to leave everything behind.

The old studio was just as you remembered it—dusty but comforting, filled with the quiet hum of memories. You approached the closet where you had stored a suitcase, its worn exterior a testament to its many years of service. You opened it, the familiar smell of old leather and fabric greeting you.

With calculated movements, you began packing the clothes you’d kept from simpler times—soft sweaters, faded jeans, and a few cherished pieces that held fragments of your past. Each item you folded and placed into the suitcase carried a piece of who you used to be, the person you were before the mafia and before Dazai.

As you worked, the thought of leaving Dazai behind gnawed at you, filling you with an intense, suffocating agony. Despite everything he had done, the idea of severing ties with him was a painful wrenching of the heart. Yet, the realization that staying would only bring more torment drove you to continue, each movement of packing a silent affirmation of your resolve.

You zipped up the suitcase, the sound of the closure echoing in the empty room. The decision to leave the city and all its shadows behind was a heavy one, but necessary. With a final glance around the studio, you took a deep breath, preparing yourself for the journey ahead. The train would take you far from this place, and despite the heartache, you knew it was the only way forward.

Before you could make another move, a voice cut through the silence of the studio. "My love, are you leaving me?" The words were laced with a deep sadness, sending a jolts all over your body.

You spun around, disbelief etched across your face. "How did you find me?" you demanded, your voice trembling.

Dazai stood in the doorway with a hurt expression written all over his face.

He stepped closer sighing, "The bracelet,” he said quietly, holding up your wrist to reveal the piece of jewelry you had thought was a mere token of affection given to you two years ago. “It has a tracker embedded in it. I had it activated in case you were ever in danger.”

The weight of his words hit you like a physical blow. The realization that he had been monitoring you all along, even in your attempts to escape, left you reeling. You stared at him, your resolve faltering but your heart aching with an overwhelming confusion.

“Why did you have to follow me?” you asked, your voice cracking. “Why can’t you just let me go?”

He took another step closer, his gaze pleading. “Because I can’t bear the thought of losing you. I know you're probably thinking that I’m just some insane man who’s only hurting you. But you have to understand, my actions come from a place of deep love. I need you to see past the madness and understand how much you mean to me.”

"Is this how you show love, Dazai? By trapping me and manipulating me?" you said, your voice trembling. "You don't get to decide what's best for me by controlling every aspect of my life."

Dazai's expression softened, a flicker of vulnerability crossing his face. “I know I’ve made mistakes. I’m twisted and flawed, but I thought... I thought that if I could keep you close, I could protect you from everything else. I never wanted to hurt you.”

You shook your head, the finality of your decision settling in. “You’ve hurt me more than you know. I can’t stay here. I can't stay anxious, wondering who you’ll force me to kill next.”

Dazai’s eyes grew darker, his voice tainted with desperation. “I never wanted to hurt you. I thought I was protecting you. Everything I did was to keep you safe in comtrol of your own life, even if it means making terrible choices.”

You scoffed, “Safe? You forced me to kill my ex! And then Kaito?”

Dazai’s face tightened. “He was a traitor. He manipulated you all this time. I told you.”

“Even if!” you shot back, your voice trembling with anger. “Do you think I wanted them dead? I never wanted any of this! You think you’re protecting me, but all you’re doing is turning my life into a nightmare, forcing me to make impossible choices.”

He reached out, but you flinched away. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly, his voice cracking with uncharacteristic vulnerability. “I know I’ve gone too far. I only wanted to protect you, but I see now that I’ve lost sight of what’s right.”

The realization hit you hard. “Lost sight of what’s right? You’ve lost sight of everything that matters. I’m leaving, Dazai. I can’t stay here any longer.”

He looked at you, his eyes filled with pain, that you've never seen before, “Please, don’t go. I’ll do anything to make this right. Just... stay and let me fix this.”

You shook your head, “It’s too late. I can’t trust you anymore. I need to get away from this life, from you. Goodbye, Dazai.”

Turning around you held the suitcase tightly, your hand shaking as you reached for the door. Just as you were about to open it, the sharp click of a gun safety being disengaged froze you in place.

You turned slowly, your eyes widening in horror as you saw Dazai standing there. The cold, manipulative mafia boss you had come to fear and loathe was now a broken man, his usual confident demeanor shattered. Tears streamed down his face, mingling with the sweat of his desperate resolve.

The gun was pressed against his temple, his hand trembling slightly. His gaze was locked onto you, the anguish in his eyes more raw than you’d ever seen. The sight was a gut-wrenching contrast to the man you had known—this was not the calculating Dazai but a man at the edge of his sanity, driven to an extreme.

“Don’t... don’t do this,” you pleaded, your voice barely a whisper. “Dazai, put the gun down.”

His tears fell faster, “If you leave, I can’t bear it. I’d rather end it all than live with the fact that I lost you.”

You took a step toward him, the suitcase slipping from your grip as fear and heartbreak twisted inside you. “Dazai, please. Put the gun down. We can figure this out.”

His voice trembled, a fragile whisper on the brink of breaking. “I never valued life until you entered mine. If you choose to leave, then I too must follow.”

You rushed towards him, heart pounding with desperation. As you approached, you gently took the gun from his trembling hand, lowering it to the floor. His body crumpled, and he collapsed into your embrace, clutching you tightly as if afraid you might vanish.

“Shhh, it’s okay,” you whispered soothingly, your own voice trembling as you tried to calm him. You stroked his brunet soft hair gently, your heart aching as you held him close. “It’s okay. I’m here. We’ll figure this out together.”

His sobs were muffled against your shoulder, his breath hot and uneven as he clung to you. " I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I never meant to hurt you. I'm sorry I'm sorry.”

You continued to soothe him, the weight of his despair pressing heavily on your chest. You could see through his anguish, past the facade of his calculated mind to the raw, broken man beneath. Even as his twisted personality had driven him to force your hand, there was no denying the genuine love he felt—a love that, despite its darkness, was deeply real.

The room, dim and cold, was filled with the sound of his muffled sobs, each breath a testament to his remorse and anguish. You held him tightly, trying to offer comfort, though your own heart ached with uncertainty. You knew too well the manipulative games he played, but in this moment, you could see the truth in him. His despair was not a ploy, but a genuine expression of his torment and love.

Gently, you reached up and removed the soaked bandage from his eye. His gaze locked onto yours, filled with a sorrow so profound it was almost unbearable. His face was etched with the pain of his past actions, and as you held him, you admired his beautiful brown eyes.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, his voice raw and fragile. “I’ll never do this again. I promise. I never wanted to hurt you. I was desperate, and I let my own twisted mind control me. I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I’ll do everything to make this right. Please... stay with me.”

You looked into his eyes, seeing the vulnerable man who had been pushed to extremes. The cold dim room seemed to shrink around you, the shadows of his past mistakes lingering but overshadowed by his sincere apology. You took a deep breath, your own heart softening despite the pain.

“I’m here,” you whispered back, your voice was soothing him.

He nodded against your shoulder, his sobs gradually subsiding as he clung to you.

“Despite everything... despite your scheming and the cold, manipulative persona you put up, you have no idea how much I love you,” you whispered, the words heavy with the depth of your emotions.

Dazai’s eyes softened as he met your gaze, his voice trembling as he replied, “I love you too, my dear.”

With those words, he kissed you softly, his lips warm and tender against yours. The delicate caress of his kiss pulled you closer, making you surrender to the embrace he offered. In that fleeting moment, the outside world faded away, leaving only the solace of his arms and the twisted love you shared.

➵Want more of Osamu Dazai ?

[kaciidubs]

hey kacii boo 💞 i have a request if that’s okay?

hear me out ☝️

a/b/o OT8 skz x omega reader and reader finds out she is pregnant? the boys start noticing her acting different and she accidentally leaves a pregnancy test on the counter, causing the boys to see. When she gets home, the boys sit her down and talk to her about it ending in group cuddles from the boys 🫶🏻

I'm in love with this, truly! ❣ Word Count: 1.9k [I did not mean to type that much] ❣ Warnings: A/B/O Poly! SKZ x Omega! Reader, pregnancy, angst if you squint, mention of birth control, fluff, comfort ❣ Additional Tags: Mentions of Chris being an alpha, Felix, Jisung and Hyunjin being omegas as the only specific pack roles, no clear mated pairings within the pack but it's sort of Chris x Reader centered toward the end

It would begin with the most intuitive of the pack members noticing your extremely slight deviation from your usual routines - Felix.

He was a fellow omega, like Jisung and Hyunjin, but he was the most aware of everyone's trends and habits; which meant it was immediately apparent to him that something was wrong when you start doing small things like wearing pajama pants around the house as opposed to your favorite, work out pajama shorts.

Eventually, the small things he noticed began to grow into big things that the rest of his pack mates would catch onto, such as the way you turned away your favorite snacks when Changbin offered them, or the way you couldn't seem to stand the smell of Seungmin's shampoo though you spent countless nights washing his hair with the same product before. There was even one night where you snapped at Jeongin when he tried cuddling up to you when you least expected it, then immediately started crying because you felt bad.

Since that night you'd resorted to staying in the "guest room", which was simply a spare room for anyone who needed their own space for some time - which was highly disliked by each of your pack mates, but they wouldn't take away your decision.

One day, when you were out running a few errands, Minho was the brave soul who would venture into your temporary room to do a bathroom sweep to clean and take out any trash. What he didn't expect, however, was the waft of an overly sweet scent overwhelming his senses the second he opened the door - nor was he expecting to stumble across a plastic pregnancy test on the counter.

When you walked through the front door, reusable bags in hand, you were met with eight pairs of eyes staring at you, freezing you in place as you stared back with worried confusion.

"Um... Hi?"

The mix of scents usually eased you, but with the thick layer of anticipation and worry threaded throughout, you weren't sure what to expect.

"Kitten, can you come sit with us for a minute?" Minho offered softly as Changbin was the first to stand, walking over to take the bags from your hands and bring them to the kitchen for the time being.

Left with no other choice, you walked into the living room and sat in the empty space between Felix and Hyunjin; Jisung sliding onto the floor to rest against your leg while Jeongin and Seungmin settled against the opposite, before Changbin filled the space behind Hyunjin while Minho remained next to Felix.

Easing into the comfortable, impromptu cuddle puddle, you figured the impending discussion was going to be simple until Chris stood before the group - directly in front of you.

"Love... You know you can tell us anything, right?"

You bristled at his cautious tone, though the feeling of Hyunjin's hand grazing against your own eased your guard. "I know I can - what's this about?"

"You've been acting different lately, and at first we just thought it was because of a period, or a new symptom of your heat coming up, but then you started avoiding food and smells, and isolating yourself from us." Chris tried his best to keep his tone level, to keep the authority that swelled within him at a tolerable value, but his unwavering gaze showed all of his emotions. "Then Minho found this-" reaching into his back pocket, he pulled out the same device that had thrown you into a panicked fit, so much so that you had to leave the house for a sudden errand run, "-and it all started to make sense. Why didn't you tell us you were pregnant, love?"

A pang of shame shot through your heart like an arrow, and judging by the disheartened whines from the boys immediately around you, they already felt the shift within you.

"We aren't upset, Jagi," Jisung pouted up at you as he nudged your thigh with his nose, round eyes filled with love.

Hyunjin nodded against your shoulder, bringing your hand up to press a soft kiss to the back, "We're just worried about you, muse."

A shivering breath rattled through you as you blinked back hot tears, looking up at the eldest, the head alpha among your unlikely pack.

"C-Chris, I- I don't-" You sniffled, cursing the tremble in your voice, "I wasn't trying to keep it a secret, I swear - I knew something was different but I didn't want to assume anything until I took the test last night and-" Biting back a sob, you felt a soft touch against your cheek - Minho's hand wiping away a stray tear. "I just... I didn't know how to say it so I went out to clear my head and figure out the words to say to you - to everyone because I- I'm not sure who got me pregnant! I didn't even skip my birth control, for fucks sake!"

This wasn't planned - despite a few discussions here and there about the potential idea of introducing pups in the future, none of you had done the true mating bond to solidify who would be the one to directly grow the pack with you, and the stress of it all had pushed you to isolation without you even realizing until you'd moved yourself to the guest room.

"Bunny, please take a breath for us." Changbin pleaded, leaning over so you could have a clear view of his comforting gaze, "You know none of us would be any type of hurt over who's pup you're carrying, not when it's the miracle of you being the one bearing them. It doesn't matter who did it, we'll figure that out when the time comes, all that matters is you being healthy and cared for - no more isolating."

"Bin's right," Chris piped up once more, drawing all attention to him with ease, "all we want to do is make sure you're okay - no matter how sudden this is, I don't think any of us weren't aware of something like this potentially happening. None of this is anyone's fault, none of ours and none of yours, you hear me?"

Nodding softly, you smiled at the subtle sensation of Seungmin squeezing your calf in a hug of sorts while Jeongin nuzzled against your thigh.

Minho cleared his throat softly, leaning forward to take your free hand within his, "I... I didn't mean to intrude on your privacy, Kitten - I would never look through your things without you knowing, and I'm sorry for not going to you first."

You squeezed his hand, looking at him with warm, glimmering eyes, "It's okay, Min, I know you meant well - I'm not mad at you at all. Honestly, it would've only been a matter of time until someone clocked it was pregnancy, anyways."

"You do have a new smell, Pup." Seungmin muttered from the floor, Jeongin nodding alongside him.

"Felix thought you were falling out of the pack - Chan had to talk him off the ledge," Jisung laughed, earning a few chuckles from Changbin and Hyunjin at the recollection of the memory.

The blond whined, lips pursed into a pout, "I was worried we did something wrong! I'm sorry I'm the only one who thinks of these things!"

Cooing, you nudged the side of your head against his, "It's okay, Lixie, there's no way I'd ever think of leaving any of you, you guys are my home."

He hummed softly, and you could feel the cuddle puddle slowly begin to set in but there was one final thing missing before you could truly feel at ease with the situation.

Untangling yourself from the tangle of bodies and arms, you made your way toward the eldest who was watching the scene with warm eyes and a soft smile - something he'd taken a liking to doing when he thought he wasn't being watched.

Without a moment to spare, you wrapped your arms around his middle, melting into the familiar mahogany and coconut scent as his arms wrapped around you in kind, securing you in a natural protective hold.

"I'm sorry for worrying you, Channie." You murmured into his chest before leaning back to look at him, "And I'm sorry for not saying anything when I first felt off, I genuinely didn't think it could've been this."

"You don't have to apologize, baby, you were only doing what you felt was right at the time." Pausing for a moment, he studied your face slowly, "I know this whole conversation was a lot to throw at you so soon, but I just want to make sure... Are you okay with this? Do you want to have a baby right now?"

You nodded before he could even fully finish his second question, "I'm sure - I know I was scared on how to say it, but I never felt scared about not being able to take care of this baby, not when I have the world's most amazing pack to raise it in."

It was the truth, there wasn't a single doubt within you that made you believe that having a pup would be difficult in the pack - it was a possibility, a thought that had been floated around enough to start considering the full mating process, and now was the time to turn that thought into a processing reality.

A deep rumble vibrated through Chris's chest and he ducked his head in an attempt to hide away from the blush that had already consumed his ears, the sound making you melt against his body and draw the attention of the seven boys watching from their seats.

"Someone's happy to be a dad," Hyunjin teased with a grin, earning a scoff from Minho.

"Who says it's him?"

"I'm just saying it cause of his reaction! Technically we're all dads until she gets a scent tie, so why can't I place my bet now?"

Jisung groaned, "Placing bets on a baby is so inhumane... I bet it's Changbin's."

"What?! Why is my name in this now? What if it's Jeongin's?"

The youngest made a sound that could only be best described as confused shock as his head shot up to look at the man, "Listen, I'd be honored, but I can say for a fact it wasn't me! I'm too young to be a father!"

"That's not what you were saying when-"

Chris cleared his throat with a pointed look, "Okay, how about we not have this debate and go cuddle and think about dinner, yeah?"

With that, the mini crowd dispersed in a jumble of comments, heading down the hall toward his room since - in an ironic retrospect - that's where the biggest bed was put.

As the living room grew quieter, he looked at you with warm eyes, "I have a feeling it's mine."

You laughed in shock, hitting his chest lightly, "What happened to 'let's not have this debate', Mr. Bang?"

"It's not a debate! It's just a... speculation, a theory, if you will." He murmured softly, leaning down to press his lips to yours in a quick kiss. "Now come on, the last time that combination went into my room, they turned my bed into a wrestling ring and I just found a replacement for my lamp online."

Letting him lead you down the hall, a soft smile settled onto your lips as your free hand came to subconsciously rest over your stomach - the pride of the new life growing within you and the one changing before your eyes filling you with a new sense of optimism and anticipation.

[unedited]

[prettymonegasque]

Can you maybe write smut about Charles and Lando after their 2-3 finish in Australia? <3

Charlando x Reader (Charles Leclerc x Reader x Lando Norris)

A/N: I got a little (very) carried away

Warnings: Straight up porn with absolutely no plot'

Seeing your boyfriends soak each other with champagne on the podium turned you on more than you expected. It was their first podium together in over 4 years. They celebrated like starved men and you wanted to feed them. You got to Charles’ driver's room as fast as you could knowing that’s where they’ll be headed.

A few minutes later, your very sweaty boyfriends entered the room deep in conversation. They didn’t see you lying on the bed with nothing but a pair of red lingerie that left very little to the imagination. Charles was the first to notice you and he had to do a double take to believe what was before him. Lando saw his boyfriend’s jaw drop and followed his eyeline.

“Hi boys” You called out softly. “Fuck” “Putain” You giggled at their surprised faces. “Baby anyone could’ve walked in on you” Charles breathed out as he walked to you. “That’s what makes it more exciting huh? Anyone walking in and seeing how I’m laid out for my sexy winner boyfriends waiting for them to fuck me good.” He let out a groan and dropped his trophy on the floor. “Lando look at our little slut so desperate for us.” Lando was in a trance. He looked at you like a mad man but he didn’t move.

“Lan. You okay?” You pulled yourself up slightly worried. “Lay the fuck down” He demanded without blinking. Charles turned to see him. Lando wasn’t usually the one to be dominant. He was glad to let you both take the reins. But clearly, something had come onto him today. He got in front of Charles and kissed him so hard, that the poor guy stumbled a little. Lando was quick to undo both their race suits without breaking the kiss.

You couldn’t help but slide your fingers down your body. Charles finally broke the kiss to catch his breath and looked flushed. Lando turned to see you touching yourself through your panties. “Aw, my baby couldn’t even wait till I finished kissing him huh? So impatient” He tutted and harshly pushed your fingers away.

“Charlie finished second. Don’t you think he should be the first to cum today?” He got to work pulling down Charles’ boxers and taking his swollen cock in his mouth. Charles groaned and whined but he felt helpless and had no choice but to watch his boyfriend ravage him. You moaned at the filthy sight in front of you and squirmed in your place unable to do anything. Charles could feel himself getting close and he pleaded Lando not to stop. But the little shit had other plans as he pulled his cock out and smiled innocently. “Merde. Why would you do that amour? I was so close” Charles felt like he could cry.

“I want you to cum in her baby. She obviously wants us to fill her up and let everyone know who she belongs to. Look at her, we haven’t even touched her and she already looks like she’s about to cum.” Lando got rid of his boxers and pulled you to the end of the bed by your leg. He admired your body for a good minute before kneeling and tearing the tiny fabric of your body. He licked a long stripe on your pussy while Charles crawled on the bed to kiss you, swallowing your moans. Lando sucked your clit and fingered you, forcing an orgasm out of you.

You had to muster every bit of energy to not scream and let the entire Ferrari Motorhome know about your little sex capades. You didn’t have much time to recover before you were on fours and Charles lining up on your ass. Lando stood in front of you with his cock in his hand. Both your boyfriends pushed their cocks in it at the same time and you wanted to scream in pain but you stuck to sucking the cock in your mouth like there’s no tomorrow. It was their turn to now hold back their moans and avoid making any loud noises.

Charles pounded mercilessly in your ass while spanking it. “Fuck look at our slut Lando. Taking us both so well. If only everyone could see you now baby. Letting yourself be used by not one but two F1 drivers.”  “Look at how helpless she looks Charlie. Wish I could take a picture of this baby.” He moaned and fucked your face harder.

  “Putain. I’m getting close. I’m gonna cum baby. Do you want me to put a baby in you huh? Should I do it Lando? Make her look all nice and swollen for us.” Charles moaned out. “Do it Cha. Fucking cum in her. Let everyone know who she belongs to.” That was enough to tip them off the edge as they both came in you. Caution was out the window as the room was filled with pornographic noises. You were dripping from all your holes.

A minute later when you all caught your breath, they pulled out of you and you whined at the instant emptiness. Your boyfriends snuggled to you from both sides and held you tight while your body relaxed. “Was it too much baby?” Charles asked as Lando gently moved your hair out of your face. “No, it’s okay. I’m good” You smiled at him. “I hope you both realise this is only round 1. Next time I get to fill her up.”

[gyusimp]

𝐊𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐢 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐨 [𝐒𝐅𝐖 𝐀𝐥𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐞𝐭]

ᵀʸˢᵐ ᶠᵒʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᴺᔆᶠᵂ ᵛᵉʳˢⁱᵒⁿ ˢᵘᵖᵖᵒʳᵗ! ⁽ᵁ ᶜᵃⁿ ʳᵉᵃᵈ ⁱᵗ ʰᵉʳᵉ⁾

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

I feel that Kenji's affection will depend on a few factors such as his mood and the length of time he's been in a relationship with you. As for the first one: If he feels stressed from work or in a bad mood, he'll probably pull away and you'll be the one to initiate some affection to make him feel better, which works most of the time. If he's really upset about something, then it would be better to give him space but that almost never happens, you usually help him feel better. And the second one: Kenji would be very clingy. If your relationship is just starting, it's probably still a bit difficult for him to show his affection because he'd still feel very shy but as the months go by he'll become more confident. The more time has passed, the more confident he'll feel and then he won't be able to be around you without hugging you from behind, holding your hand or touching your hair. Also, lots of short kisses just because.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

He would be a very reliable friend, you can tell him anything that is happening to you and he will always listen to you and tell you what he thinks or give you advice if you ask him. Kenji is someone who would answer your messages almost immediately if he is not busy or call you on the phone to see how your day is going and stuff like that. He would be a very considerate friend and always remembers little details about you like your favorite genre of music, how long you have been at your new job or what time you usually go to sleep.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

He LOVES to cuddle. Most of the time he will be the big spoon but he also loves to feel you hug him from behind with your arms and legs and then roll over to lay his head on your chest. Something he often does is if he wakes up in the middle of the night and sees that you are a little far away from him in bed, he will simply grab you by the waist and pull you really close to him to hug you and wrap his legs around you.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

I think he's used to getting help with things and Mina's company could make him a little lazy sometimes but not too much, he still lives alone and must be a responsible adult for himself but if he decides to live with you then all the housework will be shared between the two of you and if there are things he's not very good at like cooking, he'll do his best to make you proud of him (always tell him how proud you are, he loves your little encouragements too much and secretly needs your approval to know that he's doing well).

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

He's someone with a high ego, so in front of people, interviews or similar things he won't even mention the subject, he'll say that everything is still fine with him and he'll only focus on baseball and himself. But what happens when he gets home? He won't stop reading all your messages because he secretly still saves your chat, it's inevitable for him to cry in frustration sometimes and if the breakup was his fault he'll blame himself every day. It would be hard for him to get over you and even though he doesn't have any friends, he wouldn't have anyone else to talk to about how he feels, and he usually keeps everything he feels to himself to avoid feeling or showing himself vulnerable.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

I've thought that it's a subject that wouldn't be taken lightly at all, if he starts a relationship then it's because he knows the person so well that he even has intentions of getting married. He's not one for dating or casual encounters, he'll ask you to be his girlfriend after many months/years of friendship and knowing every little thing about you which makes him fall in love with you even more so when you're a formal couple he's already thought about marrying you one day and sometimes you both talk about it. He's not afraid of that kind of commitment so it depends on how everything goes during your relationship for him to ask you to marry him, it could take 8 months or 2 years you never know.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

He’s absolutely such a gentleman, we can even see in the movie how he considerately leaves money and pays the bill at the restaurant before running off to find Emi in the city even though it’s unforeseen. GOD! IS THERE ANYTHING THIS MAN DOESN’T DO RIGHT!? and he’ll unconsciously do all that kind of cheesy stuff with you. He’ll open doors for you to go through before him, he’ll pull out a chair for you to sit on, he’ll make you walk on the safe side of the sidewalk while he stays on the curb, and a lot of forehead and hand kisses at random times when you’re in a public place and he’s reserved enough to kiss you on the lips.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

He doesn't like hugs. He likes YOUR hugs, that's the difference. He seems like someone who might get uncomfortable with a lot of physical contact but if it's you then he has no problem with it. He'll let you pull him into your arms whenever you want and stay still, he also loves to hug you from behind when you're doing something else.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

It won't be quick, maybe at first he'll feel a bit afraid to say it even though he really feels it because he's afraid it will be too quick but when he does it he won't think about it so much. He'll let you know and after that he'll feel calmer and he won't stop telling you every chance he gets.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

I don't see Kenji being a jealous or possessive boyfriend and since you love him so much you wouldn't do anything to make him jealous just to annoy him. If he does get jealous it would be because of people around you that seem to have intentions towards you or if some random guy sees you on the street, he'll hug you by the shoulders or put one of his hands right inside the back pocket of your jeans you know, little gestures to say "she's mine".

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

If he's tender, his kisses are usually short and soft but if he's more needy then he'll capture your whole mouth with his in an intense and needy way without letting go. He really likes to kiss your lips but if he can't do it for certain reasons then your cheek and forehead are still in his ranking, he loves to kiss your collarbones or stomach in more intimate moments. He likes you to kiss his lips of course but you always provoke a little tender laugh in him when you kiss the bridge of his nose or his cheeks in an unsuspecting way. He also feels how his chest jumps when you kiss the palm of his hand.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

He doesn't really like children, you can see the look on his face when Chiho interrupts the interview at the beginning of the movie BUT he doesn't dislike all children. He might smile sometimes when he sees a baby doing something cute on TikTok or on the street, well behaved children who don't cause trouble maybe that type is more tolerable for him. Sometimes he thinks about what it would be like if he had his own children with you, they would be very spoiled but he would raise them well.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

He is a busy man so most of the time he wakes up very early to exercise and train but when he has free time he takes advantage of every minute by your side. Our man hates mornings! So he is always very grateful when he can afford to sleep after 6:00 am and it is much better when you are asleep next to him and you are the first thing he sees when he wakes up.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

I think for some reason Kenji has a really high resistance to staying up late so if you're not sleepy either you two will probably just settle down on the couch or in bed to watch a few too many episodes of the series you started watching together or movies as well. When he's asleep his sleep isn't that heavy since he has to be alert for the kaiju alarm so if you get up to go to the bathroom, get a drink of water or whatever he'll wake up and ask you what happen. The good thing is that he can fall back asleep after that.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

He's a little distrustful, not because he doesn't trust you but because he's afraid of what you might think of him. Remember when Emi breaks her arm and his dad comes to help him? The first thing Kenji says is "I don't want you to scold me, judge me or criticize me" (Something like that) So our pookie is always aware of what the people important to him might think of him about the things he does. Not to mention that it's quite difficult for him to express his deepest feelings or thoughts because he thinks that being vulnerable is a bad thing and he shouldn't allow it but after a few months of your relationship have passed and you've decided to tell him private or personal things then that gives him confidence to try it too little by little. He's grateful that you've trusted him to open up emotionally so he wants to show you that you're just as important but I feel like he wouldn't do it in less than 1 month.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

He has no patience with himself, he wants everything to go well for him always but when it comes to you he is the calmest and most patient person in the world. Imagine that you are someone with zero knowledge of baseball, you have barely seen a few minutes of a game on TV and you never understand what the hell is going on. Then as someone more than an expert on the subject, he will sit down with you and explain everything in detail, looking for examples of a topic in which you are an expert to make you understand it better and so the next time you see one of his games you can talk better about the subject. It doesn't matter if it is something other than baseball that he has to teach you, he will do it with great pleasure and will never get irritated with you.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He remembers EVERYTHING. Your birthday, anniversary, first date, first kiss, first I love you. He has a good memory lol plus he schedules details like that in Mina so she reminds him days before if he has plans to buy you something nice. You never have to worry about him forgetting an important date in your relationship, he's always the first text on your phone to wish you a happy birthday (he texts you right at 12:00).

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Maybe it could be his first kiss, you would be the first person he has kissed so being able to experience it with you makes it even more special. Sometimes that memory comes to his mind and makes him smile immediately involuntarily longing to be close to you as soon as he can.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Kenji is very protective of you, but not too much so that it's suffocating. As Ultraman, he must take care of all of Tokyo, but you will always be his priority, although he worries that despite being a superhero, his lack of experience in that area is not enough to keep you away from all dangers, which often distresses him. He will always be there for you, from a serious danger where he has to protect you as Ultraman to running towards you to comfort you after hearing you scream if there was a bug too close to you.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

We know that he is someone who is financially stable (too stable) so he never has limits when it comes to you. Sometimes you are at work and you receive flowers from him, just flowers, but they came from the most expensive store in all of Japan. Sometimes you point out something nice in the mall just because but he ends up buying it for you so now you take good care of what you look at because everything you touch ends up being a gift for you later and you don't want him to think that you are interested in his money. You have told him that he doesn't have to do it but he continues. The dates are regularly at 5 star restaurants, weekends at the beach or abroad or more private clubs, mostly so that you can know more new things that maybe you couldn't afford to do so often but a date at the movies or at the bowling alley at the mall is never frowned upon.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

He can be a bit obsessive about baseball sometimes, he cancelled a couple of dates to attend important practices or things like that, making you mad. You'd argue about it sometimes but he'd always try to make it up to you and apologize.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

He looks like a fucking supermodel 24/7 who cares way too much about his grooming. It would be very hard for him to ever not smell like his usual perfume, even when he's sweaty after a game you can smell the manly scent of his deodorant. This man's bathroom is full of skincare products that he puts on his face every morning and every night before going to sleep, he has a sleek black jewelry box where he keeps his earrings, bracelets, chains and rings neatly and his closet is organized to perfection by areas where he always plans each of his outfits meticulously looking at himself in the mirror before going out after he's styled and brushed his bangs well. I can swear he has one of those little hair straighteners.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

I think Ken might suffer from abandonment syndrome thanks to his parents so yes, he is very emotionally dependent on you. Maybe he notices it, maybe he doesn't but there have been times where he doesn't feel well and would like to be with you for comfort but he can't because you are away at home and it is now night or because you are at work. He moves his leg repeatedly and tries to think of something else until he sees that you have gone out for your lunch break and he can call you.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

He's the kind of boyfriend who loves to drop you off or pick you up from work/college and take you on his motorcycle. He puts his helmet on you and drives slightly faster so you hold on to him tighter. He also really likes it when he comes back from a fight with a kaiju and you're here, willing to offer to take care of him and give him a massage or help him relax and heal his wounds.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

He doesn't like to kiss you on the lips in public or act too clingy with you in front of anyone else. First, because he thinks it's tacky or cheap and second, because he thinks it's something more intimate between you two and he feels judged if he did it and someone saw it.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

He takes a bath before bed, always. When he gets home he gets into that damn tub with ice and then takes a warm shower, does his skincare and puts on comfortable clothes to sleep. He usually looks at his phone until late until you tell him to go to sleep already. Since he is tired, it doesn't take him long to fall asleep so he turns around a few times in bed and falls asleep but it takes him too long to get up in the morning since that's when sleep and the warm feeling of waking up tangled up with you hits him the hardest.

[isuckatwritingsobenice]

HAZBIN HOTEL HEADCANONS (if u want :3)

I don’t request anything most of the time from anyone so I sincerely hope I’m doing this right lol

Anyways! I was wondering if I could get a Vox x (s/o) reader where Vox yells at his (s/o) in a heated fight and he ends up scaring (s/o). Like maybe she doesn’t like confrontation or has this thing about being yelled at and usually ends up crying and avoiding whoever yelled at her for quite some time? Idk. Lowkey just in the mood for angst 😩

Thank you!

Synopsis: vox and you argue 😔 he’s not very demure

Navigation!! // Masterlist!!

Breaking Point

The apartment was unnervingly quiet. You sat on the edge of the couch, knees drawn to your chest, fingers gripping the fabric of your sweater as if it could anchor you to the present moment. The TV flickered in front of you, but the show had long since faded into background noise, overshadowed by the tension between you and Vox. Tonight was supposed to be a peaceful evening, a chance for you both to unwind after the long, stressful week. But the calm had shattered, replaced by a storm you hadn’t seen coming.

It had started with something small—an offhand comment about how little time you’d been spending together lately. Vox had been busy with work, his streaming schedule packed to the brim, and it had left you feeling more alone than usual. You didn’t mean to sound accusatory, but the words slipped out, and the conversation took a turn you weren’t prepared for.

“You know it’s not like I’m avoiding you, [Y/N],” Vox had said, his tone strained as he tried to keep his frustration in check. “I’ve got a lot on my plate right now. It’s not fair to guilt-trip me for that.”

“I’m not guilt-tripping you,” you replied, your voice softer than you intended. “I just… I miss you. It feels like we’re drifting apart, and I don’t know how to fix it.”

Vox sighed, running a hand through his hair in a gesture of exasperation. “What do you want me to do, huh? Just drop everything? You know how important this is to me.”

“I’m not asking you to drop everything,” you said, feeling your own frustration rising. “I just want to feel like I matter, like I’m not just another obligation on your to-do list.”

And that’s when things started to spiral.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Vox snapped, his voice suddenly sharp, his eyes narrowing as he glared at you. “Do you think I don’t care about you? Everything I’m doing, I’m doing for us—for our future. But it’s like you don’t see that. You just see the time I’m not spending with you.”

You flinched at the harshness in his tone, the words stinging more than you expected. “I never said you didn’t care,” you muttered, looking down at your hands, trying to steady your racing heart. “I just wish you’d talk to me, let me in instead of shutting me out.”

“I’m not shutting you out,” Vox shot back, his voice rising as his frustration boiled over. “But I can’t be everything all the time. I’m exhausted, [Y/N]. And it feels like no matter what I do, it’s never enough for you.”

His words echoed in your mind, each one like a slap to the face. You felt a lump forming in your throat, the familiar sting of tears welling up in your eyes, but you fought them back, refusing to cry. Not now, not in the middle of this.

“I never said you weren’t enough,” you whispered, your voice trembling with the effort to hold it together. “I just… I don’t know what to do, Vox. I don’t know how to fix this.”

“Fix what?!” Vox threw his hands up in exasperation, his voice loud enough to rattle the picture frames on the walls. “There’s nothing to fix, [Y/N]! I’m doing the best I can, but it’s like you don’t even see that! You keep pushing, and pushing, and I’m at my limit!”

His voice boomed through the apartment, the anger and frustration spilling over in a way you hadn’t seen before. You’d had disagreements in the past, sure, but nothing like this. The intensity in his voice, the way he was looking at you—it brought back memories you’d tried so hard to bury, memories of being yelled at, of feeling small and helpless.

Your heart pounded in your chest, your breath quickening as you tried to stay calm, but it was no use. The fear was too overwhelming. Your hands began to shake, and you instinctively wrapped your arms around yourself, as if that could protect you from the storm raging before you.

“I—I’m sorry,” you stammered, your voice barely audible over the pounding in your ears. You wanted to explain yourself, to make him understand, but the words got stuck in your throat, your mind clouded by panic. You felt the tears building again, but you blinked rapidly, trying to keep them at bay.

Vox took a step back, running both hands through his hair in a gesture of helpless frustration. His shoulders were tense, his entire body wound tight like a spring ready to snap. “You don’t get it, do you?” he muttered, his voice still tinged with anger, though quieter now. “You don’t understand what it’s like to have everyone depending on you, to have the weight of all this on your shoulders.”

You wanted to reach out to him, to tell him that you did understand, that you saw how hard he was working. But the fear kept you frozen in place, your voice locked in your throat. You could feel the tears start to spill over, running down your cheeks in silent streams. You quickly wiped them away, but the action was too late—Vox had already seen them.

“[Y/N]…” His voice softened immediately, the anger evaporating as he saw the fear and hurt in your eyes. He took a step forward, his hand reaching out as if to comfort you, but you flinched, pulling back instinctively. The movement was small, but it was enough to make him freeze, his hand hovering in the air between you.

“I—I need to go,” you choked out, the words tumbling from your lips before you even fully realized what you were saying. The walls of the apartment felt like they were closing in, the air too thick to breathe. You needed to get out, to put distance between you and the confrontation that was ripping you apart.

Vox’s eyes widened in panic as he saw you begin to retreat. “Wait—[Y/N], please,” he pleaded, taking another step toward you, but you backed away, shaking your head.

“I can’t… I just… I need some space,” you stammered, your voice barely audible as you turned and fled down the hallway. You could hear Vox calling after you, the desperation in his voice breaking your heart even more, but you couldn’t stop. You couldn’t face him—not now.

You stumbled into the bedroom and shut the door behind you, pressing your back against it as if that could keep the world out. Your legs gave out, and you slid down to the floor, burying your face in your hands as sobs wracked your body. The fear, the pain, the overwhelming sense of helplessness—it all came crashing down on you at once, and you couldn’t hold it back anymore.

On the other side of the door, you could hear Vox’s footsteps, slow and hesitant as they approached. He paused outside the door, and for a moment, the only sound was the quiet hum of the apartment, punctuated by your ragged breathing.

“[Y/N]…” Vox’s voice was soft now, filled with regret and sorrow. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to yell. Please, let me in… let’s talk about this.”

You pressed your hands harder against your ears, trying to block out the sound of his voice. You wanted to respond, to tell him that you understood, that you didn’t blame him, but the words wouldn’t come. The fear of confrontation, the fear of being hurt again—it was too much.

When you didn’t answer, Vox let out a heavy sigh, the sound filled with so much pain that it made your heart ache. “I’ll give you space,” he said finally, his voice thick with emotion. “But please… don’t shut me out forever. I love you, [Y/N]. I’m sorry.”

You heard him turn and walk away, his footsteps growing fainter until the apartment was silent once more. You stayed there on the floor for what felt like hours, your body numb, your mind replaying the events over and over again. Eventually, the tears stopped, leaving you feeling hollow and exhausted.

When you finally found the strength to stand, the apartment was dark, the only light coming from the faint glow of the TV still playing in the living room. You slowly opened the door and stepped out, your eyes scanning the empty space for any sign of Vox.

On the kitchen counter, you found a note written in his familiar handwriting. You picked it up with trembling hands, your heart clenching as you read the words:

“I’m sorry. I’ll give you space. Please, just… come back to me when you’re ready. I love you.”

You clutched the note to your chest, the tears threatening to return as you took a shaky breath. You knew Vox didn’t mean to hurt you, that he was just as lost and overwhelmed as you were. But it didn’t change the fact that he had, and it didn’t make the fear go away.

It would take time—time to heal, time to rebuild the trust that had been shaken. But you hoped that, with that time, the love you shared would be enough to mend the wounds left behind. For now, all you could do was take it one day at a time, holding onto the hope that you and Vox could find your way back to each other.

[dailyakira]

home is where the heart is ft. tooru oikawa

gn! reader

a/n: hi guys! it's been a while since i've wrote a ff, so forgive me if it isn't that good. i've been fixating on haikyuu ever since the movie!! also this is not grammar checked.. i wrote this within an hour at 2 AM!!!

warnings: a bit angsty, tooth rotting fluff at a certain point, i forgot how to write, oikawa is sad and yearning, oikawa is scared to come back home, childhood friends to exes to something else?, tears are shed, please don't cringe i will cry

oikawa inhaled the familiar cool breeze surrounding him. he hadn't been in japan for years due to his hectic volleyball schedule. he was lucky enough to fly back for a short break before his season started again in a few months.

a wave of homesickness hit oikawa the second he landed. the memories of his mundane lifestyle in japan compared to his ever-changing way of life in argentina had shocked him.

oikawa wrapped his scarf around his neck tighter as snowflakes scattered from the skies. the delicate crystallized flakes began to litter his chestnut colored hair.

he hadn't told anyone that he was back in japan - oikawa felt no need to celebrate his arrival. he had burned too many bridges while chasing his dreams. arguments out of pure pettiness had ended relationships that he could never repair.

whenever oikawa thinks of japan, he thinks of you.

his dearest childhood bestfriend, who could never leave his side. until of course, he left for argentina without much of a say from you.

the only person he could say he loved, even through numerous flings and failed relationships.

he blames his fiery passion that became suffocating to be near. he blames his refusal to change his behavior. he blames every part of himself for driving you away.

because when he thinks of airports, he can't help but wander back to the memory of you not showing up to see him off. when he's gifted an alien keychain as a gag gift, he thinks of the two of you at ten years old, staring into the sky all night attempting to spot a flying saucer.

being back in his home country opens new wounds that he's tried to heal over and over. he wanted to enjoy his time off season without any worries.

his shoes tapped against the concrete evenly as he began to approach the convenience store. oikawa had left his hotel room earlier to clear his mind, and the only thing that could put him at peace was a slice of milkbread.

he hoped to go unnoticed, since he heavily disliked wearing an obnoxious disguise that would make him stand out even more. still, he raised the hood of his maroon sweatshirt over his head. oikawa desired some semblance of anonymity.

the bell clanged against the door loudly as oikawa quickly avoided the front of the store. he observed the vast selection of packaged milk bread loaves, before deciding on his usual choice brand.

he sauntered towards the beverage isle in curiosity and ended up settling for a bottled green tea to pair with his bread. he had never been a fan of green tea, but you had made it for him consistently after his practices to 'calm his nerves.' a tiny smile stretched onto his face as he thought back fondly.

he wanted to head home and collapse in his bed. the jetlag refused to leave him without a good night's sleep. after making sure he was satisfied with his choices, he walked up to the counter.

with his head down, he placed the items in front of the cashier. they scanned his items while he shuffled in the pocket of his pants for his wallet.

oikawa lifted his head slightly, comparing his money to the price shown on the register. he placed the money on the counter, not bothering to pay attention to the cashier.

he turned to leave and quickly get back to his hotel.

"i thought you hated green tea?" an easily recognizable voice remarked behind him.

he felt his heart drop as a lump began to form in his throat. out of anyone he could've ran into on his first night back, it had to be you? he contemplated putting on a brave face and telling you how he felt all these years or running out of the store just to avoid you.

he decided on the former, quickly turning around to face you. his breath paused as he looked at you for the first time in years. oikawa remembers you being beautiful before, but you had changed entirely.

you looked like you were crafted by the gods themselves.

the blush inched on his face as he tried to find the words to say. he had never been this anxious in his life. you looked at him with a puzzled expression as he continued to gape at you.

"i was... came home... off season...you're gorgeous?" he spoke in gibberish since he was unable to formulate his thoughts.

you laughed at his words as he stared at you with a stunned face, trying to determine whether or not you were real. you decided to ignore his shock and ask him about himself.

"how has your professional career been going? i heard you went to the olympics!" you gushed as he embarrassedly nodded along. you ignored your unpleasant past with him and continued with the formalities.

"i was glad to represent argentina in the olympics. going abroad to play volleyball was one of the greatest decisions i could've made."

oikawa sighs as he continues on.

"i still regret it, you know? arguing with you and leaving our relationship on bad terms. i think about it all the time. you inspired me to keep improving everyday. i'm so sorry for leaving.."

silence echoes throughout the store as he finishes his thoughts. you cut him off, beginning to explain your faults.

"i should've came to the airport. i knew that you were leaving, but i held a grudge." the regrets spilled out of you as the two of you continued to think about your every decision.

oikawa blinked away tears that formed in the corners of his eyes. he had missed you more than he could comprehend. there hadn't been enough words in his language to express how much he cared about you.

a few tears escaped his eyes, rolling down his cheeks. you leaned forward, wiping away the stray tears from his face. you softly grasped his jaw with a gentle smile.

"i've regret letting you go for years. you mean so much to me, tooru."

oikawa grins elatedly at you as he stares back into the comfort of your gaze. he could never get tired of this feeling.

the security of your embrace, the jokes that only you would laugh at, your support of his passion, your fixation on romance movies that you force him to watch with you, the longing gaze you send him whenever you're apart, and his overwhelming love for you.

there was nowhere else he'd rather be than with you.

whenever tooru thinks of home, he thinks of you.

[throneofsapphics]

old faces, part five

Rowaelin x f!Reader

Summary: you and Rowan meet again, and deal with the fall-out of your secret

Warnings: drinking, mentions of death, incest jokes

Word Count: ~5.8k 

A/N: all of your support with this little series means the world to me and is incredibly motivating! thank you so much. if anyone wants to be tagged in the next part, please let me know!

series masterlist

“Only princesses live in castles all the time.” 

Rowan leaned against the wall, right next to the door, admittedly eavesdropping on your conversation. He’d intended to come talk to you, to see Ceri before bed, but now his heart is sinking. You’d only had this conversation with them yesterday, and insisted you speak to her first. Better sooner rather than later, he supposed. More time to figure out a plan. 

“Some of the guards live here as well,” you countered, “and healers.” 

A small pause. Then a sniffle. Gods, was she crying? 

“Do we have to?” 

Rustling and movement. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” you murmured, just loud enough for him to hear. 

“So I don’t have to study maths anymore?”

A huff of a laugh, and then a giggle from Ceri. “Maths are important.” 

“You hate them.” He pressed his lips together to muffle his own laugh. Footsteps, and the door swung open. 

You looked exasperated, at him, but he knew you’d already scented him - Rowan wasn’t doing anything to hide his scent. 

“They’re still important,” you stepped aside to let him in, sending a pointed glance his way, “right?” 

His mouth tilted up at one side, “right.” 

A groan came from Ceri, then she was flying across the room, he braced himself as she flew into him, wrapping her arms tightly around his middle. Absent-mindedly, he ran his hand over her back. 

“A story?” She tilted her head up at him, eyes pleading. Rowan nodded, and let her lead the way back to her room. They’d offered several other rooms, but Ceri always insisted on staying in the same one. At least it was semi-close to theirs.  

“What kind of story do you want?” He asked, leaving the door slightly ajar. He already dreaded the day she’d stop asking for them. 

“Wyverns,” Rowan blinked. Usually it was Dragons, and he’d tell her about a sea dragon. Lysandra was thrilled the first time she heard about it. “The ones the witches ride,” she added, as if exasperated he didn’t know. That’s what they had in history books now, or taught in lessons. He shouldn’t be as surprised as he is. 

Rowan threw together a story, from what he could remember, of Abraxos and Manon, carefully avoiding

what happened to the rest of her coven. 

As he reached the end, he was grateful her eyes started to droop, he was struggling to throw things together.  

“I want to ride a Wyvern. I want to be a witch.” 

Rowan was less grateful, his heart caught in his throat. She fell asleep before he could explain someone was born a witch, or that there’s no way in hell she’ll be getting within a hundred feet of a Wyvern. Most of them were not like Abraxos.

The door clicked shut gently behind him, and he found you, book propped up in one hand, cup of tea in the other. He settled in the armchair across from you, closing his eyes and kicking his legs out in front of him. 

A wyvern. He needs to be more careful about the stories he tells. 

Peeking his eyes open, he saw you close the book, gently tossing it to the side. No bookmark, he winced. 

“Do you remember the page?” 

“It wasn’t that interesting,” you muttered, hissing as you took a sip of your tea. Too hot. He didn’t think before he cooled the drink, just enough to be drinkable. Your eyes shot up in surprise, glancing between it and him. “Thank you,” you sounded a bit confused, but kept drinking the tea anyway. Confused he’d done something like that? He used to, all the time. Maybe you didn’t expect those sorts of things from him anymore, but he could easily change that. 

“Our daughter wants to ride a Wyvern,” not mentioning the part about wanting to be a witch as well. 

Jolting, the tea sloshed over the sides of your mug, landing on your pants, but you didn’t look away from him as the cup clanked on the side table. 

“Wyverns?” you choked. 

“She asked for a story,” he defended himself. 

A laugh, an honest and deep laugh left your chest, “If she manages to bond with one of them, she would’ve earned the right.” 

“You’re supposed to say it’s a bad idea,” he tried to scowl, but your laughter was infectious, and his mouth curved at the corners. 

“I didn’t say it wasn’t.” 

“Exactly. Silence is agreement” 

“Depends on the situation,” biting the inside of your cheek, you curled your legs up under you, snatching your mug again, wiping the small droplets of liquid off with the inside of your sleeve, expression straightening back out. He missed the smile. 

“I’m assuming you heard our conversation.” 

“I did,” a cautious answer, waiting to see if you’d snip at him for eavesdropping. 

“If I didn’t want you to hear, I would’ve stopped speaking,” you read through his lack of words. 

“I still want both of you to move in here,” he didn’t know what else to say, but made sure a small shield of wind would hide this conversation from small ears. 

“I’m not the one you need to convince,” hands clenched around the mug as you took another sip, tongue darting out to catch the drop gathering on your lip. He swallowed, for a reason he should not be. Not that Aelin hadn’t shown  … Rowan shoved that thought deep, deep down. Not the time. Would it ever be a good time? “I’m not sure what else I can tell her,” you continued, thankfully ignorant to his inner thoughts. 

“I’ll talk to her tomorrow,” he forced the words out. Your hand covered a yawn, giving him a good reason to excuse himself, making it down the hall before he braced a hand against the stone, letting the rough material center him. 

-

It had been somewhat of a disaster, Rowan bringing up Ceri and you moving to the castle. She’d outright refused at first, and still refused by the end of the conversation, but a little less vehemently. Not enough to bring her hope, but she knew Rowan was still thinking through ideas. Sure enough, Ceri had quickly changed the subject, and Aelin found herself on the receiving end of one of her difficult questions. 

“Why do they call you Gods-Killer?” Ceri asked casually, and Fenrys choked. 

“Because I killed some of the gods,” Aelin answered. It wasn’t the whole story, but that’s all she needed to know for now. If Ceri asked some day, when she was much older, maybe she’d tell her more. But a ten year old doesn’t need to know that. 

“Why?” 

“They killed someone I cared about very much,” Elena was already dead - but Deanna had taken away her chance of an afterlife, “and broke promises.” 

“Good,” Gods, she really is so much like her father. And maybe more like her mother than either of them know. “So,” Ceri sat down her fork, and Aelin already didn’t like where this was going, “if someone breaks a promise, I can kill them.” 

“No,” you said quickly, eyes wide, “those were very different circumstances.” 

“Fenrys said we could have dessert first.” 

“I did not,” the male immediately countered. 

“You did,” Ceri shot back. 

“I said the day you can beat me, we’ll have dessert for breakfast.” 

“You didn’t say what I had to beat you in.” 

A groan from the male. “In. A. Fight,” he clarified, avoiding yours and Rowan’s gaze. 

Aelin watched as you leaned back, head tilted up towards the ceiling. Maybe praying for mercy, maybe cursing Fenrys - especially as a challenge gleamed in Ceri’s eyes. 

“There are laws against murder,” Rowan steered the conversation back. 

“When is murder allowed?” 

Aelin remembered there were few laws against murder with the Fae, but - laws applied equally in Terrasen, regardless of whether someone was Fae, human, or Witch. Rowan, bless him, carefully and thoroughly explained the laws. 

“Murder,” you murmured, just loud enough for her to hear, “I don’t know if he’s realized he’s telling her when she can kill.” 

Aelin looked at Rowan, recognized the look in his eyes, “he knows.” 

You turned your head, still resting on the back of the chair, to face her. A long-suffering look on your face. “She takes after her father.” 

“And her mother,” Aelin added without putting much thought into it. You didn’t look convinced, so she kept speaking. “People … are drawn to her, the same way they do you.”

That’s the best way she could describe it, and a faint blush rose on your cheeks as you murmured a thanks. 

-

“It's too big.” 

“You’ve been coming here for months,” you’re not sure why you bothered to point it out, especially when she gave a contemplative pause. 

“But you don’t like it here.”

Too perceptive, she was too damned perceptive. “The castle is fine,” you forced the words, ignoring the conflicted emotions swirling in your chest. It’s not that you didn’t like it, just that you'd prefer to live somewhere else. 

“Fine doesn’t mean good.” 

“Then we go looking for houses,” you ran one hand over her hair. “Don’t forget you can change your mind.” 

Ceri nodded, “I know.” 

“Would you like me to tell your father?” 

A scowl. “I’m old enough to do that myself.” 

Thank the gods, you really didn’t want to tell him. “I know,” you repeated her earlier words, hiding your relief. 

“I’m going to wait,”

“It’s your decision,” you murmured, running your hand over her hair again, and she grinned up at you before darting off. 

“What’s the verdict?” Fenrys approached a minute later. 

“Can you keep a secret?” 

He gave you a look that said; blood sworn, like you were an idiot for forgetting that. 

An over-dramatic roll of your eyes. “She hasn’t completely made her decision, but she thinks the castle is too big.” 

“She’s been staying here for over a year.” 

“That’s what I said.” 

“What do you want?” He asked instead. For some reason, that surprised you, and you wrapped your arms around yourself, even though the heavy coat kept away any chill. 

“Whatever she wants.” 

He leaned back against the wall, crossing his arms this time. “What if it was your decision?” 

“It’s not,” you said, with a bit more bite than you meant, and shot an apologetic glance at him. He didn’t seem phased. 

“But if it was?” 

You fixed your eyes on the cobblestone directly ahead of you. This was a dangerous question, a topic you’d avoided thinking of or ruminating on. 

“I was never born to live in a castle.” And that’s all you would say on that. Fenrys seemed to sense it, to sense the wall going up. 

“They mean well, but you know Rowan can be a bit stubborn about getting what he wants. So can Aelin.” 

He didn’t fight for you, the nasty voice said. I never wanted him to, you countered. It was a relief he hadn’t. 

“I’m not the one they need to convince,” you watched her climb up one of the trees, trying to get one of her friends to do the same. Another thing you’d noticed about your daughter while staying here, the amount of friends she has. Of course, she has plenty in Caraverre, but other children flock towards her. It’s always been that way. 

“I’m taking you on a night out.” Talk about a subject change. “You look like you need one.” 

“I’m vaguely insulted.”

“No monarchs invited,” he added. The storm had abated, the ‘monarchs’ in question insisted you stay an extra three days, just in case, and you were due to leave in two. The bitter part of you said it was only so they’d have more time to convince your daughter to stay in the castle, but realistically they did have a point, even if that was an underlying intention. Not everything has to be nefarious, you reminded yourself. Sometimes people do things out of genuine care. There’s not always a greater agenda, but in this case … you got the inclination there may be one, but you couldn’t figure out what, and that was going to drive you to the brink of insanity. 

“Tonight,” he added, drawing you from your thoughts. Tonight, meaning in just a few hours. You scowled at him, he’d left you little to no time to find an excuse to get out of it. 

“People go out in this weather?” The bright sun wasn’t enough to melt the snow banks gathered against the walls. 

“They serve alcohol for a reason.” 

He has a good point… and it would be nice to have a night out, a time you could pretend it didn’t feel like your entire world was bending and folding back over again. 

-

Aelin wasn’t jealous, she had no reason to be. Maybe a bit offended that Fenrys had immediately declared ‘no monarchs allowed,’ for your night out. Just the two of you. Rowan didn’t look entirely happy about it either. But, she supposed he was your closest friend in Terrasen. Fenrys liked to boast about it, ever since he learned it pricked at her husband's temper. 

When it came to pissing off Rowan, she was only second to him. Fenrys made it an art form. Still, as she watched you walk out arm in arm with him, she couldn’t help thinking he’d done it to piss off her as well. 

“A night out will be good for her,” Rowan said. 

“And if she decides to spend the night with someone?” She asked, a test. 

Rowan’s face tightened, “then that’s her decision.” 

Aelin frowned, he didn’t pass. 

-

You couldn’t remember the last time you had this much fun, or when you’d drank this much. Before you became a mother, that’s for certain. Still, you weren’t quite sloppy drunk, but a good bit past tipsy. 

“Your tolerance is shit,” Fenrys commented. 

Poking him in the shoulder, “you’re just as bad.” 

He shrugged, but grinned. At least you were equally as drunk. But, you were a bit peeved. One male had eyed you appreciatively, and even if you wouldn’t do anything about it - the attention was nice. Fenrys glowered at him, and he paled and turned away. 

“Why did you do that?” you huffed under your breath, 

“Do what?” He asked, voice honeyed with false innocence. He yelped as you dug your elbow into his ribs.

“At least my tolerance hasn’t changed.” 

“I haven’t changed,” it was an obvious lie, and you both knew it. You’d realized a few seconds too late he wasn’t talking about you as a person, just your limits with alcohol - but you’d already opened the floodgates. “Maybe a bit,” you amended. “We both have.” 

He hummed his agreement, “you don’t seem quite as … happy,” he hesitated on the word. 

“I am happy,” there wasn’t a reason to be sad. 

“I didn’t mean that. I meant you’re not as carefree.” 

“Child,” you pointed out. 

“More than that,” he ran a hand over his hair, perhaps a bit too drunk to put his words together. 

The bartender shouted last call, her voice carrying over the crowd, and saving Fenrys from trying to explain himself.

“Another would be a bad idea,” you murmured, but Fenrys was already moving, getting ahead of the crowd, and missing your comment. You followed him, a bit unsteady on your feet. By the time you caught up, he’d already put in the order. For something, but you didn’t particularly care what - as long as it was strong enough to make you forget the last five minutes. 

Fumbling with your pocket, you tried to slide a coin on the corner, but his hand stopped you. 

“Put any coin on that bar and i’ll shove it-” 

“Don’t finish that sentence,” you cut him off, but slid your hand back. 

“We’ll finish the conversation when we’re sober.” 

“We will not.” Fenrys already had that look in his eyes, the one that told you the conversation absolutely would happen. More time for you to prepare, then. “If we remember,” you added. 

“I’ll write myself a note.” 

“Your handwriting is barely legible on a good day.” 

The drinks came by, saving Fenrys again, this time from trying to come up with a witty remark. 

Despite the rather … thought provoking statement he’d made, it didn’t put a damper or shadow over the rest of the night. You took full advantage of the remaining hour, finishing your drink, laughing, singing along to some kind of bawdy song you only knew half of the words too, and all too soon you were saying goodbye to at least seven new friends you made. Could they be considered friends if you’d already forgotten their names? Well, hopefully there would be some friendly faces once you moved here. 

If a night out in Orynth was this much fun, living here couldn’t be that bad. 

-

It’s possible a white-tailed hawk soared above the city around the time the taverns closed, and may have shot back to the castle once he spotted two familiar drunk and laughing Fae stumbling back through the streets. 

Rowan flew through the window, finding Aelin standing, arms crossed over her chest. 

“Really?” She tried to sound disappointed, but looked more amused than anything. 

A flash of white light, and he shifted back. “I needed to check.” 

Aelin raised a brow, “you didn’t need to, they’re both adults.” 

“I wanted to,” he corrected. “Is that a problem?” 

Aelin’s brows lowered, studying him for a few moments, but he held firm. “If I could have, I probably would  do the same thing,” her shoulders rolled back, “shall we greet them?” 

“I want to see just how drunk they are,” her eyes said. He held out his arm in answer. 

-

“Mother and father are here,” Fenrys announced as you entered the wing where your rooms were, just down the hall and around the corner from the Royal suite. Meaning, you usually had to pass by there in order to get to your room. 

“He’s the father of my child,” you frowned. “That’s weird. Incest is weird.” 

Each word began to slur into the other, and you heard a choking noise - but you were focused on Fenrys’s reply. “I suppose we aren’t in Adarlan,” you found some satisfaction that his words were slurred as well. 

“Oh gods,” that was Aelin. 

“Adarlanians,” you sounded out each syllable, “marry their relatives?” 

Fenrys shrugged, like it was a rumor he could neither confirm nor deny. Aelin groaned, and started ushering the two of you back towards your rooms. 

“My rooms are so far,” Fenrys whined - honest to gods whined, but his rooms were all the way down the hall, and around a few corners. For a drunk person, it might as well have been a mile. 

“Crash in mine,” you offered, “there’s a spare room, and a perfectly good couch.” 

“Thank you,” he went to link his arm through yours again, but Aelin beat him to it, turning over your shoulder, you caught Rowan glowering at Fenrys. Why would he glower? It’s not like you were sharing a bed. Why would it matter if you were? There’s nothing between the two of you, besides friendship. Friends shared beds all of the time. 

“I’m a great cuddler,” you said, just to see if they would react. 

“You kick,” Rowan countered. 

“I do not,” you insisted. 

“How would you know?” Aelin decided to cut in, “you’re sleeping.” 

“I’ll find out tonight,” Fenrys added cheerily. 

You could’ve sworn you heard a low growl or two, but you’d already reached the door, fumbling with the handle. You’d put too much of your weight on the door, because as soon as it opened - you went careening towards the floor. Fenrys tried to catch you, only to fall as well, alcohol throwing off his center of balance. 

At least the carpet was soft, you rolled over onto your back, running your hands over it. It was comfortable. 

“I might sleep here,” you sighed, eyes half lidded. Rowan and Aelin stood in the doorway, amused at the two of you, and you shot a bright grin their way.

“You’re not sleeping on the floor.” Rowan, the bastard, needs to stop trying to give you orders. 

“Don’t tell me what to do,” you muttered, turning over on your side and tucking one arm beneath your head. Fenrys mirrored your movements, the two of you facing each other. 

A long suffering sigh, from Rowan you thought, and gentle hands were pulling you up to your feet. You swayed back and forth, Aelin holding you steady with a faint smile on her face. 

From the corner of your eye, Rowan was tugging Fenrys up, not quite as gently. 

-

“Be nice to my friend,” you slurred. Aelin was biting her lip to hold back a laugh, and she was grateful Ceri decided to have a sleepover in another wing of the castle. Otherwise, she’d be wide awake right now and witnessing this mess. 

“Hear that Rowan, the lady says be nice to me.” 

Rowan released Fenrys, and the male stumbled back a few steps. She kept her grip on you as you tried to lunge for him. The last thing they need is to drag both of you off the floor again. Without realizing, her arms had wrapped around your shoulders, holding you back in place. When Fenrys caught himself, one hand on the arm of the couch, you sighed in relief, and melted back into her. 

“Time for bed,” Aelin shifted so her arm wrapped around your shoulders instead, leading you off towards the room. Grabbing some night clothes, she offered them to you, trying to shuffle you off towards the bathroom. 

“I think I’ll sleep naked,” you announced. 

“As much as I’d enjoy the view, it’s still a bit cold out,” you wouldn’t remember this in the morning, but she’d remember how your cheeks flushed. 

Rowan and Aelin left, only as you fell asleep, alone in your bed - Fenrys already snoring on the couch. 

-

The end of the visit came all too quickly, and for the first time you found yourself looking forward to your return to Orynth. Looking forward to searching for a house on the outskirts of the city. Yes, you didn’t particularly look forward to staying in the castle in the meantime, but you couldn’t deny the city had it’s charm. Rowan and Aelin’s reassurances unlocked something in you. Not a desire to step into the public eye, but to stop avoiding it. If anything happened, you weren’t alone this time. Accepting help wasn’t a weakness. 

Ceri waved as you set off, just around sunrise. In around two or so weeks, you’d be heading back to Orynth. 

Your daughter, however, was currently pouting because you couldn’t ride horseback in this weather, and she didn’t like the carriages. She was mollified by the few books Aelin let her borrow from the Library of Orynth. You had a feeling she just hadn’t informed the librarians they’d be leaving the city.

Tilting your head, you caught part of the title; dragons. “What are you reading?” 

Thankfully, she didn’t look annoyed at your question. Instead, her eyes lit up as she lifted her head. “About last dragons, besides Wyverns,” she flipped the book around to point at a page. A sketch of mountains, you squint your eyes, made of glass with a few dragons circling overhead, one breathing fire into them. You looked further at the book, it was old, by the color of the pages, but well preserved. Maybe with magic. Was this one of the few books that survived the initial siege of Orynth?

“They lived in the Kyzultum Desert. But they were all killed in a war eight centuries ago.” Kyzultum, a desert on the southern continent, far south from Antica. You’d never visited, but always wanted to, to see the glass mountains. “They made mountains out of glass. The book says it’s just speculation, but soldiers from Doranelle hunted the dragons to extinction.” 

A small pain in your heart, for creatures hunted just for their power or because someone viewed them as a threat. Soldiers from Doranelle. You would bet gold marks on who exactly sent that order. 

“Why did they kill them? The book doesn’t say.” 

“Probably from fear.” 

She hummed. “Do you think dragon eggs could survive this long?” 

“I don’t know,” but Gods, if Ceri set her mind to it - she’d find out. And if they could … you started thinking of ways to discourage your daughter from hunting for Dragons. Maybe you’d have to lean on her father for that one. “Giving up on Wyverns already?” 

She scowled at you, drawing a small laugh before she returned to her book. 

-

Rowan was in a pissy mood, and Aelin knew exactly why. Ceri waited until the last night to announce her ‘decision,’ leaving all of them on edge. Then said she wanted to live on the outskirts of Orynth, with a small cottage, a garden, chickens, and a wyvern. Considering how you scowled at Rowan, she knew who you blamed for that idea. Still, they weren’t quite out of time. The two of you would return in around a month, permitting you could sell your house in that amount of time, and still stay in the castle while looking for another home. 

“Y/n didn’t try to sway her decision,” she commented - although Rowan already knew that. You’d decided to stay perfectly neutral. It’s smart, not wanting to get into an argument like that. After all, she’d chosen the same path. “Besides, Ceri might change her mind later.” 

“Right,” he cleared his throat. 

“So,” Aelin leaned back in her chair, “Wyverns?” 

“She asked for a story about them,” he groused. 

“What did you tell her?” 

“What I know of Abraxos.” As far as Wyvern’s go, Manon’s mount is the exception, and Rowan might’ve given the wrong impression when it comes to the beasts. 

Aelin laughed, “I can’t wait to tell Manon. Already a bedtime story.” She didn’t know if the Witch Queen would be offended or amused. Ceri hadn’t met any of their friends from other Kingdoms, not yet. It would come one day, especially with the move. Would you want to meet them as well? SHe hoped so. 

The little hellion’s presence made Aelin realize she wasn’t quite ready to have more children around. It would come one day, but faced with immortality there was plenty of time. Besides, maybe it was a bit selfish or strange, but she wanted to spend time with Ceri as she grew up, and wanted Rowan to as well. He’d missed out on seven years. 

Aelin always knew he’d be a good father, but seeing it with her own eyes only cemented that. Plus, the rest of the court and castle got to witness a softer side of him. 

“Had y/n already settled when you met her?” 

“No.” 

Gods, going through all of that with a small child. She had hers a few years ago, and it … sucked to say the least. The only plus being some of her magic returned, not quite to what it was before, but still much more significant. 

Rowan had turned back to his book. Another question had lingered in the back of her mind, “What is her magic?” He marked his page, setting it to the side. 

“She has an affinity for raw materials, imbuing them with magic. As far as I know, it’s unique to her bloodline.” 

“What else could it do? Besides what she sells.” Protective wards, enchantments, all impressive. 

“I never asked.” The dagger. Enchanted to leave a mark. Fenrys said she’d paled when she saw it. If it’s unique to her bloodline … maybe the attack wasn’t only meant for Ceri. “What are you thinking?” Rowan interrupted her train of thought.

“You said it’s unique to her bloodline,” Rowan nodded. “The dagger,” he stiffened but she kept going, “she recognized exactly what it was. Why use a dagger specifically meant to leave a mark? Why make a dagger like that?” 

“It’s possible her ancestors made it,” he started, “daggers and knives like that could be intended for different rituals. Using it could’ve been ignorance - or a coincidence.”

Aelin’s mouth tightened. That was a bit too strange to believe. “You know that’s bullshit.” 

“Sartaq hasn’t sent word of anything, there’s not much we can do from over here.” But, Rowan did look unsettled.

“Could anyone else have made it?” 

“She’s better suited to answer that question.” A month from now. Aelin wasn’t particularly patient on a good day, but she’d remember this. “Don’t be surprised if she wants to leave it in the past.” 

“What happened to her parents?” 

Rowan didn’t look like he wanted to answer, but she felt like she needed to know. Like it was relevant. He told her the entire story, not sparing any of the more gruesome details. She read the words in his eyes; I didn’t tell you. If you ever decided to tell her, she’d act surprised. A stone settled in her stomach. You hadn’t just been hiding from Maeve. 

“Then Lorcan hunted the rest of them down.”  

“Who was it, the ones who attacked them?” 

“The last armies of a Kingdom who particularly hated Fae, destroyed on Maeve’s orders.” And her father participated, that much she could put together. “It’s in the past, Aelin,” there was a hint of warning in his tone. To drop it. 

She nodded absentmindedly. If she could find a way to be subtle about it, she’d keep looking into it. 

-

“Leaving already?” One of your neighbors questioned, after you finished showing the house to a young couple - the woman currently at least a few months pregnant, and glowing. You nodded, watching them disappear. “Where to?” 

“To Orynth,” you turned to look at her. A friendly older woman, living a few doors down, who’d greeted you the day after you moved in with a basket of cookies. This neighbor happened to be the mother of the son, currently linking arms with his wife, trudging through the snow. It was a given you’d sell the house to them, if they ended up wanting it. 

“We’ll miss you here, and your little one.” 

“We’ll miss you too,” you murmured, rubbing your arms to stave off the chill. “Want to come in?” It felt right to offer. 

“I’d love to,” her face lit up. Ceri was due back from school in a few hours, and now big enough to walk on her own, although always with a group of other kids. It was a close little community, on the outskirts of the city,  and you really did like it here even if it was a bit … boring. Maybe that’s part of the reason Ceri wanted to move to Orynth. 

The two of you settled in front of the fire, hands warmed by mugs of tea, and you listened to her talk. Her husband - killed by Adarlanian soldiers, her three children - who went to fight in General Ashryver’s legion, the bane, only two returning at the end of the war. 

“Something happier now,” she waved her hand. “What about your family?” 

“It’s just me and Ceri now,” you forced a smile. She gave you a sympathetic look, and although you knew she meant no harm - you wanted to wipe it right off her face. 

“Her father?” There’s the catch. She knew damn well who her father is, the entire town does, and you shot her a look to tell her that. She had the grace to look a bit sheepish, giving a small shrug of her shoulders. “Can’t help the curiosity,” 

‘Yes you can,’ you wanted to say, but reminded yourself she’d been nothing but kind - and still is, but probably wanted to get in all of the questions she’d been dying to ask before you left. You were aware anything you said now would make its way through everyone else living here. 

“We’re on good terms,” you said firmly. 

“How did you meet?” 

“We knew a few of the same people.” Actually, you’d met at a bar - but she had no business knowing that. An ache started to form between your brows. A few hours passed, conversation thankfully diverting from Ceri’s heritage and into more neutral topics. You found yourself enjoying the company. 

“It takes a strong woman - or female, to raise a child on her own,” a brief haunted look passed through her eyes, and you offered her a tight smile. Her situation had been different, Terrasen being under occupation by Adarlan and all. She blinked a few times, letting out a long breath. “I’m making some meat pies this afternoon, I’ll bring one by.” 

“Thank you,” she stood, and you led the way out the door, walking her down towards her gate. 

Ceri was currently coming down the street, accompanied by a few friends, holding … something in her arms, bundled tightly. When she saw you, she sped up her pace, now almost-running down the street. 

“Look, look,” she said, shifting her arms just enough for you to see what she was holding. A little head peaked up, yellow eyes, then a meow. “She was all alone, I couldn’t find her mother,” Ceri looked up at you with pleading eyes. You ran a gloved hand over the kitten’s back, getting a small purr in reply. Orange. It was rare to find an orange female cat. 

“Let’s get her out of the cold,” a squeal of excitement, and she raced off towards the door.

The two of you bathed her in warm water, and the weird little thing liked it. 

“Are you sure you want to keep her?” You asked, but even if she said no you’d probably insist. One hour, and you were already in love. Sure enough, you were hissed at. Twice. 

“You can be friends with her,” Ceri said, sitting as close to the fire as she could get, the kitten wrapped up in a towel, sound asleep. She was talking about your animal form. A Baast Cat, not a housecat. 

“I’m sure we’ll get along,” you smiled, taking up a seat next to her. That little head poked up again, meowing, before crawling out of the towel. Ceri let her go, choosing to take her mug of hot chocolate from you instead. Carefully, the kitten crawled over onto your lap, small claws digging in. “What should we name her?” 

“Wyvern.” A hiss. Not Wyvern, apparently. Ceri rolled her eyes. She tried out a few different names, but none of them were approved. You’d already noted she was very intelligent, even for a cat, and looked up at you like you were supposed to know the answer. 

“Halle?” you offered, as a half-assed guess. Surprisingly, a small purr came from her, and you ran your fingers through her fluffy fur, watching as she promptly fell back asleep. Like she was waiting for the conversation to be over. 

“Halle’s coming to Orynth with us.” 

“Of course.” You couldn’t leave the newest member of your family behind.

-

taglist: @fussel9913 @moonlightttfae

[simpingland]

Hi hi! I would like to request a modern introvert aemond x extrovert fem!reader smut where reader just needs a lot of comfort because she's so drained from everyone and constantly putting on a brave front by being outgoing and happy. So she comes home and aemond just takes care of her and ends their night with soft smut

Thank you thank you!!

To Imagine// Modern!Introvert! Aemond x Fem!Extrovert!reader.

Summary: reader has been nothing but the the moon and Sun for Aemond, so when she breaks down for the first time in front of him, he just can't help but confess all she makes him feel.

TW: body issues! SMUT! (Fingering, oral sex female recivin, p in v).

Watching you from across the room, smiling and chatting with anyone you came across was Aemond's favourite pastime. You always managed to get a laugh out of them, a sincere smile, some gossip that you would pass on to his ears while he pretended not to care. The truth is that whatever you said to him mattered to him. Ever since that dinner when his family invited yours, he couldn't take his eyes off you, though your attention was focused most of the night on Helaena. You let her talk to you at length about stories she had dreamed, and yet you maintained such a tender interest that Aemond needed to find fault with you.

"My sister Helaena can be an...overwhelming girl," he said as he sat down next to you, the family distracted, and you turned away for a second.

"Your sister Helaena is a creative girl, and those people are always nice. Aren't you creative?" Your blunt answer caught him off guard, he didn't expect you to twist your attention to him.

"I'm much more logical..."

"Or so you think. You spend a lot of time looking."

"Looking? I don't know what you mean..." he turned red and very serious. You just smiled at him.

"Don't worry, it's okay to look. But when one looks so intently, it's to imagine."

"To imagine what?" he looked you in the eye.

You shrugged mischievously.

"I suppose you know that better than I do."

You kept your eyes on him, as if you wanted to know what he had imagined, but Aemond wasn't like you. He didn't feel as brave as you and your smile and your words. He sat there beside you as you spoke to him of all that you thought of his house. Your first impression of Aegon made him chuckle, and he leaned back to watch you prattle on and on. He had fully fallen for your charms.

Your first kiss happened that very night, in the corridors of his manor, apart from everyone else. Aemond had let his imagination run away with him as he watched you flee, and in your gaze he saw himself invited to follow. You leaned against a pillar as he loomed over you to make it clear that he too could be a determined man.

Since then, Aemond had spent his days and nights in love with you. He had known you well. He had spent weeks at your side, and those weeks when you were apart, he was always attentive to your messages, listening to your endless voice notes. You had long since ceased to be a mystery to him, although you never really were. He had rarely seen you upset, though he was slowly learning what things could hurt you and tried to avoid them. He used to be the one who brought bad news to the table because he knew it was you who turned it around, trying to put him in a good mood. He saw you cry for the first time in a shopping mall. He always waited patiently outside the fitting room, waiting for your orders to admire your dress or change the size of the garment. When he noticed your broken voice, he entered the fitting room.

"It just won't zip" you told him.

"We'll get another one," he replied as if it were obvious.

"It's just... this is my usual size..."

And he saw your little eyes sparkling with stress. He put his hand on your cheek and asked you to look at him.

"You're going to look as pretty as ever in a size up."

"I just don't want to be a size bigger."

"And I want you to wear that dress."

"...You don't control me..." you smiled mischievously again.

"No, but I do control this dress and if I pay for it, you keep it."

He bought you the dress ignoring the hundreds of "no"s and your soft swipes, and smiled when he saw you getting into his car with it on.

"I'm sorry I got all worked up over the dress, how ridiculous..." your apology surprised him.

"You don't have to apologise."

"Crying over a silly thing like that is stupid, there are so many worse things in the world. I'll stop eating so much bread."

"You have as much right to be sad as anyone else, love." He braked the car and before getting out he took your hand gently.

"I know...but you shouldn't feel sorry for me."

"You don't control me."

You laughed and Aemond smiled and let you kiss him on the lips before getting out of the car.

That night, as usual, Aemond lost you in the crowd. Many times you tried to pull him out of his corner, pulling him by the arm and forcing him to wave, but you used to respect him and let him drink in peace. You would meet him every now and then, updating him on everything you were told. This time he noticed a lack of brightness in your gaze towards the others. He could see the slight sadness that came over you as soon as the person you were talking to took your attention away from you. You immediately sought him out when you were finally alone. He was more than ready to go home.

"Everything okay?" he asked.

"I'm a little tired, do you mind if we leave?" You grabbed his arm as you leaned against him.

"Of course not."

He kissed you on the forehead and watched you say goodbye to your friends with your characteristic good humour. Only the hostess asked you if everything was alright, to which you lied so as not to worry her. The trip back was quiet, Aemond listened to you humming the song on the radio.

"I've fantasised about having my house in silence and tranquillity but I miss your little voice too much, what's the matter? Aemond followed you with his eyes as you walked around the house, taking off your coat and making a cup of tea. You handed him a cup and stroked his hair, smiling at his concern.

"Nothing's wrong. I'm just tired."

You took a sip of the tea as you went to the bedroom, he followed and watched you lie straight down on the bed, face down and hugging your pillow.

"Did some asshole say something to you?" He wanted to sound threatening and terrifying but it was more funny than anything else. You shook your head. "I'll punch whoever you want."

Suddenly, you began to cry. With a cry so loud that it frightened Aemond, who had never heard you cry like that before. He started to call out to you in whispers, but your face was completely buried in the pillow.

"Please, tell me what's wrong, don't cry, I beg you..."

You turned your head to look at him, Aemond had laid down beside you to put his face close. He stroked your hair and dried your face as much as he could.

"I feel... so overwhelmed..." you confessed.

"Why, my love?"

"I feel that nothing I feel is valid. That nothing I feel is important because that's not my role. Today I told my friends what happened to me in the fitting room and they laughed, and they agreed with me, I was stupid. You think so yourself."

"I don't think you're stupid, I don't understand you, please don't cry".

"I feel that if I don't stop talking, people will forget about me, because I really am a basic, boring woman and people use me to tell me about their lives and I mustn't show any kind of emotion other than that of someone who is sure of herself."

Aemond preferred to keep quiet rather than repeat himself, this was completely new and he wasn't sure if he understood you.

"I hope that one day you will understand that this is not true.

"There are things that even you can't understand."

"Do you want to cry?" Aemond saw you nod, and it broke his heart a little, but he walked away, but not before giving you a kiss on your tear-stained cheek. He didn't close the door, but left the room and stood in the corridor. There he listened to you sniffle and couldn't stop feeling that he was doing something wrong.

It didn't take him long to come back in, rushing to the bed to lie down next to you again, letting you hug and squeeze him as the last of your cries came out of you.

"You should drink some water, it will stop your headache." He felt your head nod and ran to bring it to you.

He admired from afar as you drank the glass and set it down on the floor to lie down again. There was no crying now, and your face looked up at him, and Aemond stood with his arms folded, admiring your figure, which still had your dress on. Only your feet were bare.

"I've always liked your feet," he confessed, running a soft finger along the sole of one of them, tickling you. "But I like your legs best of all."

"I like your legs too, Aemond."

"Really? What's so special about them?"

"...what's between them."

Aemond made a mock-tired gesture and heard your laughter echo through the room.

"I thought you were more romantic than me."

"You thought wrong. You're more creative than you always think."

"That's true...though maybe some people motivate my imagination more than others." He moved his hand down your calfs, slowly lifting your skirt. You were still lying on your back. "Not at all basic or boring people...generous in every sense of the word."

He bent down on the bed, lifting your skirt and uncovering everything underneath, raising his hands to caress your ass. He deposited a kiss on your buttocks and reached behind you. His massage relaxed you, but before continuing he sought your face, turning your face to give you a soft kiss. When you continued the kiss, he accepted your consent.

"It hurts me to see you cry, and I want to make you feel as good as you make me feel."

Then he nimbly removed your panties and with one hand lifted your pelvis, and with the other pushed one buttock aside. His lips went straight to your pearl. As he kissed and licked, he felt himself grow as he heard cries that were no longer of pain. He felt your wetness increase and didn't hesitate to slip one of his long fingers inside you.

"Aemond..." you whispered and gasped his name and it served to realise that he needed to feel you and soon.

He removed the rest of your dress, leaving kisses on every bare patch, and was soon removing his own clothes under your impatient gaze, still lying there and catching your breath. He moved back on top of you and groped where he should thrust. When he entered you, you both felt a wave of pleasure.

He moved slowly but decisively, as Aemond was. Nothing about him was clumsy, and he preferred to climax by enjoying all the sensations you could give him. He kept a rhythm that made you shiver and pressed his body to yours, his lips close to your ear.

"Do you want me to tell you what I imagined when I looked at you the day I met you?" his voice was even softer, almost purring.

"Tell me, Aemond."

"I imagined you like this...under me, touching me like you always do, I imagined what it would be like to kiss you...and what the moles on your back would be like."

His pace was no faster, but he did penetrate you deeper and deeper, making you gasp with every thrust.

"I wondered what a girl like you would be like in a place as quiet as my bed. I needed to know what it was like to hear you whisper so that only I could hear you..."

"Aemond...I'm going to cum."

"But imagination has its limited functions." You felt the tingles peeking out, Aemond was sliding more and more over your body in sweat, and your hand came to rest in his hair, you felt his kisses and his tongue run down your neck in almost the same way it had run over your clit.

His grunts grew louder, and Aemond began to pant with you. You came first, letting out a small cry as the pleasure stirred inside you. Within a minute Aemond came, cumming inside you, as he loved to do. And before he pulled out of you, he rested his head in the hollow of your shoulder blades, catching his breath and pushing your hair aside. You felt the coolness of his breath. It didn't take long for him to pull you to lie down in front of him and cover you with a blanket. Your smile was back, and he had that special colour that sex gives him. You were about to speak, probably to make a comment of yours, but Aemond silenced you with an intense kiss, long and sweet but serious. When you broke apart, which you regretted, you didn't want to talk any more. He stroked your chin.

"Nothing I could have imagined that night," he said, "could ever come close to what you have made me feel since then."

[the-badger-mole]

In a Time of Adversity

It was just his dumb luck, Zuko thought. All year he had been butting heads with the city's most annoying overachiever. Katara, the prodigy with a 9000 IQ, who'd managed to skip a grade and end up in all of Zuko's advanced placement classes, had been thorn in his side since the day she'd corrected one of his physics equations in front of the whole class. Ever since they had been locked in an increasingly heated battle of who would earn the highest marks in their class, and every week felt like a new face off.

Sometimes he would come out on top, but he had to grudgingly admit that while gave as good as he got on tests and assignments, she had the upper hand when it came to quips and put downs. Too often Zuko had been left sputtering in her wake, struggling to find a comeback from some scathing retort she'd just delivered. It wasn't until after yet another one of these exchanges, when Zuko in his frustration had the thought that he would love to throw her against a locker and kiss her until she didn't have the breath for one of her smart remarks, that it occurred to him that there might be more to his feelings towards her than animosity. And that was the last time he ever spoke to her directly. Disaster averted.

So, of course, when their science class goes on a weekend long camping trip in the middle of Backwoods, Nowhere, he would end up being partnered with her to find a rare fungus. Of course they would end up losing the trail and wandering through the forest with no clue how to make it back to camp. And of course, it would start raining, sending them scrambling up the mountain to a cave that was hopefully abandoned.

"At least we won't have to worry about dehydration," Katara said, pulling the water from their clothes.

"Sure," Zuko replied gruffly. He looked around for something to burn, but there wasn't anything but some leaves and twigs around. Not exactly the makings of a bonfire.

"I'm sure they're looking for us already." Katara sat down against a wall and drew her knees up to her chest.

"Great." Zuko wasn't optimistic about the prospect. Their science class wasn't exactly full of the great outdoors types. Katara had the most camping experience of anyone. The best they could hope for was that the chaperones would call search and rescue early the next morning.

"Do you think we should look for some firewood or something?" Katara suggested. She was shivering a bit, and Zuko could feel the chill settling onto his skin, too.

"It'll all be wet," he told her. "All we'll end up doing is smoking ourselves out."

"I can dry it," Katara reminded him. There was a sharp edge to her voice now. Zuko looked over at her and realized she was scowling at him.

"What's your problem?" he asked, irritably.

"You!" Katara shouted. Her voice bounced around the shallow cave jarringly. "You're my problem."

"Me?" Zuko drew back, affronted. "You're the one who got us lost, Katara, Queen of the Jungle!"

"Alright, fine! I'm sorry, alright?" Her voice cracked dangerously. "I just thought we could work together on this and things could go back to normal between us." Whatever Zuko had been expecting her to say, that was not it.

"Normal?" he repeated, completely baffled. "Normal between us? What are you talking about?" Over the sound of the falling rain, Zuko thought he heard Katara sniffling. Was she crying?

"You-you've been avoiding me for weeks," she said. Zuko was stunned. He'd heard Katara laugh (usually at him), and yell (again...usually at him). He'd heard her confidently dressing down a teacher that once made the mistake of telling her that women didn't get far in the science field. But this...this vulnerability in her voice. That was new.

"I haven't been avoiding you," he said. It wasn't entirely a lie. It's not like he turned the other direction when he saw her in the hall. He just didn't engage in their verbal sparring matches.

"You won't talk to me," Katara said. "You barely acknowledge me when I talk to you. When Piando assigned us as partners, you looked like he had just told you to eat a raw snail. I don't know what I did to offend you this badly, but I'm sorry, okay?" She was definitely crying now, and Zuko was panicking.

"I'm not...I'm not angry at you," he told her hesitantly. "I just...it's just that our bickering was beginning to feel....I don't know...childish?"

"So it's because I'm younger?" Katara demanded. Zuko winced. That was a frequent sore spot for Katara. Because she'd been moved ahead in school, some of her teachers and classmates made a big fuss over her age whenever she did something they didn't like. Zuko thought it was stupid. She was a year and some change younger than him, and only two years younger than the oldest people in their grade. Hardly a mind bending gap, especially given how mature she was generally.

"No, that's not it," Zuko said. "It's not about your age, or grades or anything like that. I just don't feel like having an enemy I don't need to have." Katara fell silent for a moment. Zuko thought he could still hear her sniffling every so often.

"I didn't think we were enemies," she said softly. It took a moment for Zuko to understand what she'd said. Then he snorted.

"Right," he scoffed. "That's why you called me a spoiled brat who probably paid someone to do my homework for me."

"Okay," Katara huffed. "I'm not saying we were besties or anything. But I thought we were at least friendly rivals. I wasn't seriously accusing you of cheating. It's just...school isn't always a challenge."

"Egghead," Zuko muttered. Something small-an acorn, probably- hit the wall next to his head. He smirked at Katara in the dark.

"That's more of a criticism of our curriculum than a brag," she said defensively. "Anyway, I was saying that you challenge me. If I wasn't trying so hard to be better than you, I would be so bored."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Katara's soft spoken vulnerability hung in the air between them for a long moment. Then Zuko laughed. He sensed Katara stiffen, draw into herself, and he slid over to her side of the cave.

"I'd be bored without you, too," he admitted. "And for the record, the only one in our school who would be worth paying to cheat from would be you." Katara scowled up at him, Zuko was actually close enough to see it in the dark. Then she laughed, too.

"So what did I do to piss you off so bad, then?" she asked him. Zuko drew back, feeling the heat rush to his face.

"Nothing," he said quickly. "You didn't say or do anything. I just wanted to be different, I guess."

"Oh." Katara wrapped her arms tightly around herself and a hard shiver ran through her.

"You're cold," Zuko said.

"Aren't you?" Katara asked through clenched teeth.

"Firebender," he reminded her. "Um...if you want, you can..." Zuko opened his arm towards her, an awkward invitation. Without hesitating, Katara scooted over and curled into his side, wrapping her arms around his waist.

"You're better than a heating pad," she sighed contentedly.

This was a mistake, Zuko thought immediately. Katara lay her head against his shoulder and every thought he'd had about kissing her until she was dizzy came rushing back. He would be a complete gentleman, of course, but he prayed that sleep would come quickly and end his torture.

"Hey, Zuko?" Katara lifted her head to look at him.

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad you're here with me." Zuko's mind screeched to a halt. What did that mean? After a moment he decided it didn't really matter.

"I'm glad, too," he said honestly.

[iovestuck]

INCEPTIO . 심재윤 | prelude + arc i

STARING.. attorney ! jaeyun (jake) × violinst ! female oc

SYNOPSIS.. within the realm of truth, it is crucial to conceal secrets. Trust should not be given to anyone, but it shouldn't be denied regarding close ones. Memories should be forgiven but not forgotten. The pursuit of lies should be avoided, just as the revealing of truths must be hidden.

GENRES.. fluff + angst + action + thriller + mystery + hint of romance + friendship

WARNINGS.. drugs, alcohol, violence, addiction, abuse, sexual assault, revenge, toxic relationships, toxic parents, under influence, guns, attempt suicide, suggestive scenes, self-harm, jealousy, overdose, law, poison, etc.

ages under 17 recommend reading with caution !

WORD COUNT.. 45k overall. 16k prelude + arc i parts

IOVESTUCK'S NOTES.. Here is the prelude and the arc i parts/chapters! I hope you like them so much! There not a lot of things going on in the arc. It's more getting to know the characters. Not much romance just friendship moments! Thank you for reading the first arc!

TAGLIST.. @ilobtinycats , @zyvlxqht , @senascoooop ,

If you want to be added to the taglist, please only send an ask as my notifications can be messy, and your notes/comments won't be seen.

masterlist. characters. arc. ii. arc iii.

- PRELUDE -

Tick tock, tick tock

The clock sound was the only thing heard in the room as the thunderstorm roared through the night. On the right side of the room, the window was opened halfway. Raindrops spattered into the floor of the room. A usual made bed in the center of the room appeared to have been slightly unkempt. On the bed, a lady was curling up, shaking with fear. She covered her ears with both hands.

Tears peeking through her eyes. Squeezing them shut, feeling dizzy from all of the thunder. Choking on her tears, hoping this would end soon. She could hear her heart skipping a couple of beats. 

"I'm sorry," was the only thing she could mutter over and over again. "I'm sorry." Her heart dropped once another thunder struck again. She could see the light from it before shutting her eyes tightly. More tears fell in the silence. Quickly went to the bathroom that was connected to her bedroom, she threw up nothing. 

Feeling her heart heavy as she sat on the bathroom floor. She took a breath before getting up then flushed the toilet. She washed her hands and mouth. Once she exited the bathroom, she sat back on her bed. Turning on some music and letting it play hoping it would cover the sound of the rain. Even if it was a little bit. She stared at the empty white wall in front of her. 

Another thunder was heard once again, she quickly plugged her ears and closed her eyes, hoping it would end soon. It was like the world was mad at her for not saving her friend…. Her best friend's first lover. "I'm sorry," she muttered again.  But she knew apologizing for something was too late wouldn’t do any good. 

It was too late to save her friend. It was too late to do anything. It was too late. If only she could go back in time and save her friend then none of this would have happened. But it was too late to do so. "I'm sorry, Sooah," she muttered. 

It was her fault.

That night haunts her once again..

ARC. I 

nightmares and regrets that haunt through the day and night

- CHAPTER ONE -

The arrival area in the famous Incheon International Airport, from left to right there were family reunions. Crying of happiness, everyone was accustomed to those sounds. People who arrived walked through the automated sliding doors, leaving their suitcases before running towards their loved ones who were waiting for them on the other side.

A female took a breath as she walked through those same doors, watching their reunions. Strangers who spared her nothing but a glance which quickly took their focus on their loved ones. Wishing she could be like those families or friends, hugging her loved ones like anyone in this airport right now. Thinking about it made her heart break a million pieces.

After 10 minutes of standing there, a noise was heard in her purse. She quickly took it out before a small smile appeared across her face once she saw the caller's name. In an instant, she answered the call. "Hello?"

"I am on my way, sorry! I accidentally slept while studying for my exams. I set two alarms and long story short, I didn't wake up for any of them!" Her best friend could be heard panting at the other line as though he had been running to his car.

The female couldn't do anything about it as it was a fair mistake anyone could make and it wasn't his responsibility to pick her up. "Jaeyun, it's okay you don't have to pick me up. I could just call a ta-" "No, I told you I would pick you up and I will do that. I can't let you down! I am in my car right now. Please wait until I come, I will be there as fast as I can. As long there is no traffic or sh*t," he interpreted in an almost pleading tone. Knowing she couldn't say no to anyone pleading. 

"It's fine, Jaeyun … Alright, I will wait. Take your time. Please drive safely. Don't even consider speeding," she half-joked with a light laugh. But knowing him, he would speed up even if it's a little bit. 

"No, promises. Stay put and don't even dare leave the airport. I will be there as soon as possible! Will call if I can't find you," he told her. She hummed in response just as the call ended. Looking at the clock on her phone, it read 7:20 p.m. It wasn't in any of the rush hours, but people were still driving from work to home after a long day. Especially in the capital of South Korea. 

It has been 3 years since she was in South Korea. Nothing has changed as much. Maybe some minor changes, but that's it. Heejin looked out the window before letting out a soft sigh. Wondering how everyone is doing now. Are they achieving their dreams and goals? Are they happy? She sort of missed her friends here. People who she left after those memories. 

Her phone suddenly made some noise in her purse. She quickly took out her phone and looked at who was texting. Her heart dropped after she saw the contract name. 'We have a gathering for you.' "Like I want to go," she scoffed while reading the message on the screen. Putting her phone away without replying, she went to a seat and leaned on it. Looking up at the ceiling, she took a breath.

"Heejin!" Looking forward, she saw her best friend Jaeyun running towards her. He had a smile across his face waving at her. She smiled back as she quickly walked towards him with her two luggage rolling her hands. Suddenly her best friend hugged her, almost making her lose her balance, but he made sure she didn't. She was a little surprised before quickly recovering and hugged him back. "I miss you so much."

She hummed in response. No words could explain how much she missed her friends. She closes her eyes as tears fall on her cheeks. Jaeyun broke the hug and quickly noticed she had tears falling. "Hey, why are you crying?" He looked at her with worried eyes. She didn't notice the tears, quickly she wiped her eyes and gave him a smile. "Oh, it's nothing…it's just happy tears," she reassured him.

He looked at her still with worried eyes, letting a smile creep across his face. "You look taller," he said, noticing her height. She shook her head, and a smile formed. "It must be the heels I am wearing right now. I am still shorter than you." Jaeyun looked at her shoes and noticed she was indeed wearing heels. "Maybe so, but you're still grown even if it's a tad bit." She nodded at the fact. "You look much better than when I left for Australia," she said not in a joking manner, but as an observation. 

He smiled. "Of course, if I hadn't been better, then I wouldn't be able to do what he told me to do." She nodded. "Come, let's go." He quickly grabbed her suitcases before walking.

Once in the car, Jaeyun had convinced her to talk about her years in Australia. How was finishing school there, how were her violin and piano lessons, how were her aunt, uncle, and cousins, and so much more? From then on, she spoke of the wonderful things she has experienced there, also mentioning if she had a choice, she would've decided to stay there longer, forever seen. Then she talked about her repeated nightmares, hallucinations, panic attacks, sleepless nights, especially those thunderstorms. But never talked about why she had those nightmares, hallucinations, panic attacks, and sleepless nights because it will have their old friend, his first love, introduced into the topics. It won't be very pleasant for any of them at the moment.

Fortunately enough, he kept his silence while earnestly listening to the other's stories. It was like he understood not to ask for any further details and the downsides of her stay would be a bad idea. "My violin instructor suggested that I should get into Guildhall or Juilliard. She said with my application and skills, I could make it and my parents could afford any of the university's tuition," Heejin said, feeling happy when her instructor told her that.

"That's amazing! You always dreamt about going to either of the two universities since we were young. Plus you could now study your dream career! He exclaimed as though there was something to be excited about. As though her parents would never allow her to study music or even in those universities. Immediately he noticed the lack of enthusiasm on her part. "They didn't agree, did they?"

"You know them." She gave him a sad smile. "Although, I am glad I could move away from their wrath. At least I could have a little more air to breathe than those past 15 years," she took a breath and looked through the windshield. "I am sorry," he apologized for something he didn't take part in.

Heejin shook her head. "Don't apologize, you didn't do anything wrong. Privileges come with a price." Her mind came to the thought of Sooah, who was like her. But her price was never like her old friend. There was a silence in between them. "I hate how I understand that." A bittersweet tone appeared suddenly from Jaeyun, which wasn't any surprise. "So, when will you plan to move out?" He glanced at her.

"Hmm, maybe a week or two from now, I still need to sort some paperworks and go to the storage unit that has some of my things." Jaeyun nodded. "Alright, just give me a call, the others may want to help out too since it's been a long time." "Noted." 

The car suddenly stopped, reminding her they had arrived at the destination. But to her surprise, he didn't simply drop her off. He instead parked somewhere near the house. She looked at him confused about what he was doing. He immediately noticed her confusion. "There is a gathering for you, which I found I was invited to," he informed her of the knowledge she had purposefully forgotten about. 

Her parents played the good cards by inviting the person who would pick her up and would convince her to attend. "I guess we are in this together like the times before." She took a silent breath before taking out her pocket mirror to put on some makeup since she had to attend that gathering after all with no excuse whatsoever. They both stepped out of the car and walked side by side to the house. "Remember if you want to get out of your situation, use the code word," Jaeyun said as they were about to enter the house. 

"Lucious?" 

"Lucious."

Jaeyun opened the door and held it for Heejin."Ladies first." Her heart dropped just by entering the house. Taking a breath, she went to where the gathering will be held. From left to right, there were the business partners her parents had made connections with over the years since she was born until now. She looked at her best friend and he looked at her. They both nodded and gave a smile to each other before departing to wherever. 

Heejin felt small walking around the room filled with strangers. She felt like throwing up all of a sudden. Without even noticing it, she accidentally bumped into someone. "I am so sorry," she quickly apologized. "No, I should be the one apologizing." A familiar voice. Looking up, she realized it was her friend she hadn't seen in 3 years.

"Heeseung?!" She asked. The person looked at her confused for a second before then realized. "Heejin?!" "That's me," she smiled. "Here, let me help you." He held out his hand and she took it. "It's been 3 years, how are you?" He asked her.

"Doing alright, how about you?" She made sure her dress wasn't ruined or her mother might scold her for ruining her dress in front of the guests. Heeseung smiled. "I am doing better, I got accepted into the company I wanted. Just need to finish my studies then I will work full-time there." 

"Oh really? Congratulations," she quietly clapped her hands with a smile. "When did you get here?" He asked her. "An hour ago." "Did Jaeyun pick you up?" She nodded. "As he should." Heeseung looked at the clock on his watch. "Well, it was nice talking to you again." "Same here." He walked away and now she was left alone again. With a sigh, she went to where the drinks were. Picking up a cup of punch, she took a slip making sure it wasn't spiked or anything before drinking more. 

Suddenly thousands of reporters ran towards her, making her almost choke on the punch. The reporters started to gather around her. "How was staying in Australia?" "How was learning the piano and violin there?" Heejin took another slip while looking around the room. She spotted Jaeyun talking to some people in front of her and behind the reporters. "I must say this drink is luscious." She said loud enough for the reporters and her best friend to hear.

Next, she knew it, Jaeyun was by her side, excusing them before both of them made their way out of the reporter's eyes. "That was fast," she said while glancing at the reporters who were now escorted out. "We have been doing this since we were 12 and 13 years old," he smiled. 

- CHAPTER TWO -

"Since when did you have such things, Heejin? Why is this box so heavy?!" Jongseong exclaimed as he waited for the elevator to open as if nobody else was carrying the same weight of boxes. She chuckled, "You are carrying my books and music sheets. That may be the reason." BOOKS AND MUSIC SHEETS were written on the box. Feeling a little guilty for having the boys carrying her heavy boxes.

She could've done it by herself with trips up and down the apartment complex, but with the boys pleading over the past two weeks, she agreed in the end. "Don't worry about him, he voluntarily said he is willing to carry that," Heeseung interjected. 

"Because that's all you people left!" Jay groaned. The boys let Heejin go first to insert her passcode with her free hands. After she quickly punched in the code, everyone quickly one by one put down the boxes to put their miseries to an end. She noticed Jaeyun was staying silent the whole time. She wondered why but never had the chance to talk to him about it. She spotted Heeseung working on the boxes in the kitchen. She quickly made her way towards him. "Why is Jaeyun quiet since we have arrived?" 

Heeseung turned around, facing her. He sighed,  "He has been like this for 3 years. That's one of the differences over the past years. If something reminded him of her then he would not make a sound. Just stay silence" Before focusing on unpacking the kitchen items from the boxes. "I see." Was all she said. Heejin wished she should've stayed longer before she went to Australia. But that was in the past now. Suddenly noises were heard in her pocket. She quickly took it out and excused herself. "Hello?" She answered.

"Friday, there will be a banquet at 10 pm. You must come, no excuses," her mother informed her before ending the call. Heejin looked at her phone. She took a deep breath before going back inside the apartment with a fake smile pasted on her face. This week is going to be a rough night. She thought. Her friends helped her unpack some of the boxes before going back home. 

Now it was just her and Jaeyun. She didn't want to disturb his thoughts so she went to her bedroom to unpack her clothes. Then she heard a knock on the door. Facing the door, she saw him with a small smile. "Do you need any help?" She gave him a smile. "You could do some of the bedroom boxes," she suggested. He nodded before going to work. 

The silence filled both rooms as both of them worked on unpacking. "Are you going to the banquet?" He asked all of the sudden. Heejin blinked twice. He probably overheard the call. She thought before answering. "It's not like I have any choice. I must attend every single banquet, party, events and gathering. That's one of our conditions if I go to Australia." She bit her lips, thinking about those conditions that her parents have told her.

One, must attend every single banquet, party, events and gathering that her parents are going or hosting. Two, get As and no grades lower. Those are just the conditions she must follow with no fail.

 Another silence filled both rooms. Heejin moved to her bathroom, glancing at her best friend on the way. While working on the bathroom boxes, she was in deep thought. She didn't even realize she was holding a cup until something crashed onto the floor. Heejin quickly snapped out of her thoughts. She saw the broken cup. Quickly, she kneeled down in the process of making her knee bleed, but she didn't even notice it. Instead she focused on the broken pieces of the cup. 

Jaeyun came rushing in, noticing the broken cup. He quickly carefully walked in front of her. Then he noticed her knees were bleeding. He grabbed her wrist. Heejin looked at him confused. "Both of your knees are bleeding." She looked down and noticed both of them were indeed bleeding. "Oh, I didn't even notice," she said. She doesn't feel a small keen burning pain at all. 

"Come let's get the wounds clean before they get infected." "But the－" "Leave it be." She sighed before nodding. Jaeyun helped her to her bed before getting the first aid in the living room. He came back with the aid then went to the bathroom to get a wet cloth and two dry cloth. He went in front of her and kneeled down. "This may sting a bit," he warned her. She nodded watching him clean her cuts with the wet cloth first. She felt a little sting but it wasn't as bad as when she cleaned her cuts herself.

Jaeyun looked at her two cuts, making sure there are no pieces around and in them while cleaning them with the wet cloth. With a relief, he put down the wet cloth and took the dry ones. He put them against the cuts to make it stop bleeding before moving to the next step. Which was putting on the petroleum jelly then covering the cuts with a bandaid. 

He stood up after picking up the things he used. Looking at her, he lightly flicked her forehead. She winced before rubbing the place where he flicked. "You need to be careful," he slightly scolded her. "Sorry," she muttered. He ruffled her head and smiled before going out of the room. 

He came back with a broom, went to the bathroom to clean up the broken pieces thoroughly. Then went to the kitchen and threw away the pieces. "I am going to unpack the boxes in the bathroom." Heejin quickly looked up immediately. "No, I can do it." She tried to convince him. "No, you stay put." "Bu－" "Are you hiding something from me?" She went completely silent after he said those words. She was indeed hiding her pills, she got them when she was in Australia.

She couldn't dare to tell him about those pills because it will have Sooah involved in the conversation. Again it won't be the best idea to talk about her. Jaeyun noticed her silence, he turned to her and saw she was looking down at her lap. She then shook her head meaning she wasn't hiding anything which was a lie. He glanced at her one last time before entering the bathroom again. She hoped the pill bottles won't be in any of the boxes. 

Fortunately, it wasn't in any of the boxes. After finishing unpacking, Jaeyun had to go to his apartment to finish some assignments. Heejin adjust to her apartment and her new part of her life.

- CHAPTER THREE -

Heejin was getting ready for the day. She wore casual clothes. A beige t-shirt, navy blue jeans, a white cardigan and a hat. Looking at herself in her phone camera before exiting the room. She walked to her kitchen and took out a mug from one of the cabinets. Heejin took out a jug of milk before pouring some in the mug, then microwaved it. 

Carefully blew the hot milk before taking a few sips as she looked through her emails for any work her sister gave her and to reply to some of the important emails. Her sister gave Heejin her work even though it was her work she had to do herself. With a soft sigh, she closed her Macbook. Then she checked her watch.

Glancing at her clock before grabbing her tote bag then left the apartment. She went to the bus stop, waiting for the bus. She quietly hummed to the music sheet that was on her iPad. Wishing her parents allowed her to do what she loved. Once the bus came, she went inside and sat in an empty seat. Looking through the window as the bus drove away. 

Heejin exited the bus once it was her stop. She quickly went to the university. Her first day at university. Taking a deep breath, she walked farther in. "Yang Heejin?!" She quickly turned around, noticing a familiar face. The person caught up and smiled. "Dae, long time no see!" She quickly hugged her friend. 

"Yes indeed, how was Australia?" They broke the hug. "It was nice," Dae nodded. "I see, I see. Did my cousin pick you up?" She nodded. "He better or I will beat him up again," her friend joked. "Oh by the way, what major are you taking?" Heejin frowned at the thought of it. "Economics," she answered with a sad smile. Her friend also frowned. "Parents?" She nodded. "How about you?" She asked. "Architecture, parents too."

They departed after a small talk since Dae had to go to class. Heejin was walking to her class when she saw Jaeyun talking to someone. He noticed her and said his goodbye to the person before walking towards her. "Hey," he greeted. She smiled before nodding. "Morning." 

They walked side by side in silence. "I could sneak in and hide in the back or you could seek in my class." He broke the silence. She shook her head. "I will be okay, Jaeyun." Hoping it reassured him. "Are you sure?" He asked. She nodded. "Alright, if you need anything. Call me, I will leave everything aside," he told her. Heejin put her hand on his shoulders. "I will be alright. Don't worry too much and focus on your lectures, okay?"

Heejin watched Jaeyun walk away to the law department which was on the opposite side of the business department, but in the same building. She sighed silently before entering an unfamiliar classroom. It was already filled with strangers. Looking around, she spotted an empty seat at the very back. Walking up the stairs, she sat down in the seat and took out her necessary items for the lectures.

Just after the professor ended the lecture,  she walked out of the classroom. Her heart jumped as she stepped out. She gasped before putting her hand on her chest. "When did you get here?" Standing next to the door was Jaeyun. He was staring at the window in front of him with a blank stare. Turning once he heard her voice. "Not too long. Maybe 5 minutes ago or even more," he answered. "Come let's go, do you have any other classes?"

Heejin shook her head. "I have an online class, but that's it." He nodded. "How about you?" She asked. "Same here. Do you want anything to eat?" She shook her head. "I am not hungry." Jaeyun turned to her. He shook his head. "You know, you should eat right?" 

"I know…" Jaeyun observed her a bit before letting out a sigh. "I will buy you something and that's it." He took her wrist then carefully pulled her to his car. Opening the passenger door for her before walking to the other side. Heejin put her tote bag next to her foot before putting on the seatbelt. She looked through the window as the car moved out of the parking lot to the street.

Music softly played in the background of the car. Nobody dared to talk. "Here we are," Jaeyun said as he parked parallel in the busy street of Seoul. Heejin looked at one of the stores and noticed it was the same one as the one they always went to when they were in high school with Sooah. But she wasn't here anymore. 

Heejin felt her heart drop when she thought about Sooah. Oh she wondered if anything would change if she was still here alive. Would her best friend have a girlfriend? Would he be happy? Would she be happy? Would they all be happy?

"Heejin? Heejin?!" She snapped out of her thoughts and looked at her best friend. "Are you okay? You've been spacing out for a while now?" Heejin smiled. "Yeah, I am okay. What do you ask again?" Jaeyun looked at her with worried eyes before asking the question again. "Do you want the usual? The ones you always get in high school?" 

"Sure," she nodded. "I'm going to find somewhere to sit." He nodded before she walked away to a seat near the window. She sat down and looked through the window. Jaeyun sat down in front of her after paying for the orders. They both stared off to the distance, watching people walk by the small franchisor. 

"Sim Jaeyun!" One of the barista announced. Heejin got up before he could and quickly got the try of their works from the front. She looked through the receipt, mentally noted to herself to pay him back once they left the store. Jaeyun distributed the orders before he ate in silence. The music, the machines and other customers were the only sound heard in the store.

Heejin looked at her food that he ordered for her. It was just how she remembered. She wished she could eat it, but if she does then she may have to throw it up afterwards. Glancing at Jaeyun who was eating in the silence, she took a silent heavy breath before taking a small bite. Her eyes widened, it was delicious. Some of the ingredients changed when she left.

The buttery taste was barely there, the sweetness of the strawberry jam was more present than the last time she came. Jaeyun glanced at her, noticing she was taking small bites. He wondered why, but never questioned her. Instead wait for her to talk about it of her own will. Heejin noticed he glanced at her. She assumed he wondered why she eats small bites. She knew he was worried about it because the bites weren't actual bites. It shouldn't be considered as bites. 

She knew she shouldn't bite this little. No matter what her therapist and psychologist did to help her back in Australia. It doesn't help her full time. They tried every single method there is, but none works in the end. She has to do the rest in the end. With a sigh, she put down the sandwich and covered it. "I'm going to the restroom," she announced only for Jaeyun to hear. 

She grabbed her tote bag and ran to the store's restroom. Making sure the door is closed and locked, she threw up all of the food she consumed. Her heart felt so heavy, but she felt much better. Flushing the toilet, she washed her hands and looked at herself through the mirror. She looked like a whole mess. Hating her mess. After washing her mouth and hands, she went out of the restroom. Almost gasped once she saw Jaeyun standing in front of the female restroom. 

"Ready?" He asked. She was almost shocked he didn't say anything about it. She was sure he could hear it since he was near the restroom. She quickly nodded. They left the store. She noticed he was carrying a bag. It was probably their orders, they didn't finish. They sat in silence as they drove home. Only the music in the bluetooth of the car was the only thing making the car ride less quiet. 

- CHAPTER FOUR -

As the sun hit the darkroom, Heejin sat up on her bed, looking at the clock on the nightstand, 5:00 pm it says. She stretched her arms before getting off the bed and went to the bathroom. After her usual routine, she went out of her bedroom.

 Spotting her best friend sitting on the couch with his laptop on his lap. He was wearing his glasses. She sighed as she walked past time. It has been four months since she moved back to Seoul. He was always at her apartment after classes.

Turning on the coffee machine, she got the ingredients and a mug. Quietly making the morning coffee, she glanced at Jaeyun. Once she finished, she put the coffee in the mug and put it on the table in front of him. Then walked back to her bedroom, she got dressed. Wearing a white button-down, black sloane tailored pant, a black cardigan. Brushed her hair, then grabbed her tote bag. Heejin walked out of her bedroom.

She went to the kitchen, making herself warm milk as she looked through her emails. She doesn't have any in person classes, but has to go to her familys' company to attend a meeting. Even though her older sister should be the one who has to attend the meeting since she is the co-ceo. Her parents want her to attend instead to have the experience. 

If she didn't have to attend the meeting, she was going to study for her classes. She went out of her apartment. Her chauffeur came to pick her up. Even though she got her driver's permit last year and two months ago she just got her driver's license. She has to take the chauffeur since her parents told her. They never told her why. 

Once she arrived, she thanked her chauffeur before going inside the company. The workers greeted her with a gentle smile. She bowed and greeted them before using her ID card and entered the office. She went to the meeting room where the meeting will be held.

Heejin nodded to the workers who was already there before taking her seat. The rest of the workers came in and the meeting started. She took some notes and listened to the presentations also known as the proposals. After the meeting, she dismissed everyone and went out of the room to her older sister's office. Knocking on the door three times, "Come in." Was heard inside the office. 

"Here are the proposals and some notes I took for you." Heejin handed her sister the papers. Her sister read through the papers briefly before looking at her. "Thanks, you may go back to your apartment now or whatever," Her sister coldly said. She nodded before exiting the room.

Walking out of the company, she went inside her chauffeur car then drove off back to her apartment. She punched in her passcode before entering the apartment, walked past Jaeyun. Entering her bedroom, she got changed into something more comfortable before studying.

After hours in her bedroom, studying and finishing her assignments. She went out of her room to get some fresh air. Jaeyun wasn't sitting on the couch again. He was probably in class or went to Heeseung's apartment. She went to get something to drink before going back to studying.

Looking through her phone after studying for another 4 hours, her phone suddenly rang. Quickly picked it up without checking the contact name. "Hello?" She answered while putting it on speaker as she went back to her notes. "Heejin, are you busy right now?" She looked up from her notes and checked who called. "Heeseung? I'm not that busy. Do you need something?" 

"Could you get Jake, please?" Heejin looked at the clock on the desk, noticing it was already two in the morning. Did she study that long? "Sure," she answered as she got up from her chair and got changed. "Great, I will send you the address about…now."

She heard a buzz from her phone, assuming it was Heeseung messaged her the address. She grabbed her phone after changing and looked at the message. "Got it," she informed him. "Okay, I will see you here soon." He ended the call. Heejin grabbed her keys and phone before exiting the apartment. She went straight to the garage then went inside her car. 

Putting the address in the map store before driving off. Music was playing in the background as she drove in the night. A few cars were in the streets. Once she arrived at Heeseung's apartment, which was 20 minutes away from where she lived, she exited the car and quickly went inside the complex. Then went to his apartment number and pressed the doorbell. A few minutes later, he opened the door with a sigh of relief. "Thank goodness, you are finally here," he smiled with a slight of relief.

"You look messy," she commented. Heeseung scratched the back of his neck before letting out a small laugh. "Yeah, those kids are a handful sometimes." Heejin nodded as she understood the situation. "I would've drove him home or let him stay here but as you can probably tell, I got no rooms here and I am a bit tipsy." 

"Come follow me to where Jaeyun is." Heeseung moved out of the doorway to let her in before guiding her to where her best friend was. Looking around, she saw Sunghoon, and Jay taking care of their friends. She gave them a small wave as she walked past them. "Here he is." He pointed at Jaeyun who was sleeping on the couch. "He drank a bit more than he usually drinks. He doesn't look very happy, more like mad and sad mixed together when he came here," he gave her some information on what happened. 

Heejin looked at Jaeyun and let a small smile out. "Alright, I guess we should be going now." Heeseung nodded. He helped her move her best friend to her car. They put him in the backseat and seatbelted him. "I am sorry for calling you late at night and making you come here." 

"It's nothing, I don't mind it at all." She smiled. He sighed softly before smiling back. "You are too kind." She couldn't help it at all. It is part of her forever. "I know." A smile still formed across her face. "Well, you should get going now." Heeseung gave her a pat on the shoulders before walking away from the car. She waved at him before entering her car and drove back to her apartment.

She put her best friend's arm around her shoulders before slowly walking into the apartment. Then went to the elevator, hoping nobody would see her. Once they made it to her floor, she slowly walked to her apartment number and entered the passcode. Heejin put Jaeyun in the guest room and took off his shoes before leaving the room. Suddenly she was pulled into his arms. "Sooah," he mumbled. 

Heejin's eyes widened. "Please don't leave me, Sooah." "I am not her," she whispered, trying to loosen his grip. But each time she did that, his grip became stronger. He pulled her even closer to him. She sighed in defense and just let it be.

After a couple of hours, she was getting tired. Before she could walk away once again, Jaeyun grabbed her hand. "Don't leave me," he muttered in his sleep. She took a breath before deciding to wait a bit longer. She sat on the chair next to the bed and let him hold her hand. He squeezed tight enough for her to not let go. Resting her hand on the bed, top of her arms. Her eyes became heavy and before she knew it, she fell deeply asleep. 

Opening her eyes, she squinted from the sun shining brightly in the room. Blinked twice, she noticed she was in the bed. Looking around the guest room, Jaeyun wasn't found. He probably woke up early. She sat up before stretching. Then she left the room. She walked down the hallway. She saw her best friend in the kitchen.

Jaeyun turned around and smiled. "Good morning, I would've made something but I have a bad hangover headache. So, instead of a breakfast, I made two warm milk with sweet honey for us." She smiled before walking to the kitchen island and sat down on the stool. He slid over the mug to her. "Do you want some hangover soup?" She asked. "No, it's okay, I already had a hangover drink." 

"Alright." She took a few sips of milk. "When did I get here?" He asked. "Oh, Heeseung called me asking to pick you up," she answered. He nodded. "I see, I am sorry." She shook her head. "Why are you apologizing? It's not your fault. Plus you make my life more interesting and less boring." He smiled. "I am glad, I made it more interesting."

"Did I do anything embarrassing or bad?" He suddenly asked. She shook her head. "You didn't do anything too embarrassing or too bad." He sighed in relief. 

They sat in silence until Heejin had to go. She went to her bedroom and got ready. Then quickly grabbed her tote bag and keys before saying a quick goodbye to her best friend while leaving the apartment. She quickly rushed to her car and started the engine. Sitting on the driver seat, she sighed thinking about yesterday. Shaking her head and lightly hitting her cheeks before heading to the university. 

- CHAPTER FIVE -

Driving in a peaceful comfortable silence. Music softly played in the background. She has arrived at the university. Parking her car and got out of it after grabbing her bag. She went inside the law and business department building. Skipping her way to her classroom, she spotted Jongseong sitting alone on his laptop. Probably working on assignments and such. Looking at the time, she had enough time to have a conversation before class.

Walking her way to him, she tapped on his shoulders. He quickly turned around, a smile appeared across his face as he took one of his earbuds out. "Good morning," he said. "Good morning, may I sit here?" Jongseong quickly nodded before he took his bag off the chair and put it down next to his feet. "How are you doing?" Heejin looked through the window before looking at him. "I'm doing alright. It has been a busy week." 

Jongseong nodded, "How is Jaeyun's hangover doing?" She thought for a second before turning to him. "Well, he drank the hangover drink that I have. So, I think his hangover isn't that bad now." 

"I see." There was silence in between them. Not too deadly, just right. "Do you have any plans today?" Jongseong asked, breaking the silence. Heejin shook her head. "No, why?" He showed her a message from their group chat. "There is a new restaurant. Everyone is going to the place. If you want to come too then I will tell the others."

"Are you sure? Wouldn't I be an intrusion? He shook his head. "Absolutely not. You aren't an intrusion or whatever. I know for a fact that everyone loves you to come but only if you want to." She nodded before biting the inside gum near her lips.  "Right," she muttered. Jongseong sighed before going on his phone. "That's it, you are coming. Did you bring your car?" He glanced up at her while typing on his phone. She nodded. "Alright, I will message you the address of the restaurant. Make sure to be there by 6:00 pm tonight."

The next minute, she heard a buzz coming from her phone. She picked it up and went to her notifications. Copy the address before pasting it in the Kakao Map so she doesn’t have to worry about it later. "Alright, I will be there." Jongseong smiled as he gave her a small nod. They talked a bit more longer before they headed their separate ways. 

Heejin was sitting at her usual spot in her first class, staring off into the distance. Letting her thoughts flow around her mind. After her lectures, she looked at the clock on her watch. "I got enough time before 6:00 pm." She walked out of the business and law department building and went to her car. Driving back to her apartment, she washed up a bit before changing back into the clothes she wore in the morning. 

Walking out of the apartment exactly at 5:20 pm and went inside her car. She went on the map app before starting the car. Then she drove to the restaurant where everyone was waiting for her.

Once Heejin arrived at the new restaurant, she parked her car and went inside. Standing there were the boys and Dae. Jaeyun noticed her first and waved at her. She walked towards the others. "Everyone is here so let's go to our seats," Jongseong said to everyone before leading them to their seats.

Heejin sat next to Jaeyun. He gave her a menu. She thanked him quietly before opening the menu. She hoped she wouldn't be throwing up the dinner later in the night as she read the menu. He glanced at her, noticing she had trouble finding something she liked. He read the menu in front of him. Tapping lightly on her shoulders, she turned to him. "I think you would like this one." He pointed at the Dirty Martini Pasta. She read the description of the food before nodding. "I will try it then－she put the menu down to the side－ thank you for helping me."

"It's nothing, I saw you having trouble so I decided to help you." She smiled before putting down the menu in her hands and waited for the others to pick their choice of food. Once they ordered their food, they started talking about their days and such. Heejin stared through the window next to her in silence. "Heejin? Heejin? Earth to Yang Heejin." She quickly snapped out of her thoughts before turning towards Dae. "Yes?" She asked. "Do you want to hang out?" Her friend repeated herself. 

"Oh, I would love to, but I have been busy the past few days. Today is my only break day." She bit her lips feeling bad for not having time to spend time with her friends. "I understand－Could I come over to your apartment and maybe we can have a little hangout there?" Heejin nodded. "Sure, but I will be busy with some work. You can come over any day after 6 pm." Dae nodded before checking her schedule. "Then I will come on Friday at 7:00 pm after my family dinner." 

"Alright, see you at my apartment Friday." Heejin quickly put that in her calendar on her phone so she won't forget and buy some groceries when she goes home from work. Once the food came, everyone started to eat. They ate in silence. The only sounds heard were the utensils clanking on the plates, and breathing. Nothing else. “So－does anyone have any special plans that will happen next week or last week or the upcoming week?” Sunghoon tried to break the silence. 

There was another silence filled out around the group of friends. There are some other conversations from the other tables, but not a word from the group of friends. “So nothing?” Sunghoon muttered under his breath as he took another bite of her dish. Heejin swallowed the pieces of noodles she barely ate before looking at her dish. She slowly picked up some more noodles onto her fork after letting her stomach digest the food. “Heejin, you okay?” Heeseung whispered to her. She looked at him and gave him a reassuring smile. Indirectly telling him, she was good.

He glanced at her one last time to double-check before getting his food. After their dinner together, everyone went to a small cafe before departing separate ways. Heejin leaned against the window of a shop. Letting her head rest on the window while looking up at the ceiling. Jaeyun was talking to the others while glancing in her direction. Making sure she was doing alright. She has been absent-minded since she exited the restaurant and entered the cafe. She didn't even touch the hot chocolate she ordered. He was getting a little worried. 

Deciding to check on her, he walked away from the group and sat next to her. “Heejin, are you okay?” He asked with a concerned tone. “Hm? Sorry, what did you say?” She snapped out of her thoughts, still not looking at him. “Are you okay?” He asked again. She reassured him with a nod and a smile. “Yeah, why wouldn't I be?”

“You have been quite distant since we left the restaurant and even in the restaurant.” She turned to him. “I am fine, Jaeyun,” she reassured him. He turned completely forward to her. “You aren't fine.” She shook her head. “I am completely fine. Go enjoy your time with the others.” He was hesitant at first, but then nodded. “Okay, if anything let me know.”

“Yes, yes. Now go have some fun.” She jokily shoo him away. He looked at him one last time before walking to the others again. Heejin sat back on her chair and went on her phone. She saw millions of texts from her mother, sister and her sister's manager telling him about schedules, events, etc. She let out a soft sigh before turning off her phone and looking through the window. 

After an hour had passed, everyone said their goodbyes before departing separate ways. Heejin was about to enter her car when Jaeyun stopped her. “Here.” he handed her a bag. She took the bag from him. “I forgot to give it to you when you first landed in Seoul.” She looked at the bag before looking back at him. “Thanks,” she smiled. “Well, have a nice night, Heejin.” “You too.” He walked to his car and she entered her own.

- CHAPTER SIX -

A month passed fairly quickly, everyone was busy with university things. Heejin was sitting in the lounge after her second class of the day. She was piling herself with assignments and paperwork her sister gave her. She has only 2 hours of sleep, sometimes 1 hour because of her insomnia and nightmares of that incident.

Covering her black bags with makeup, Heejin exited her apartment. Her phone started to ring and quickly picked it up without checking who called. “Hello?” She answered, trying not to sound tired. “Heejin, there is a party at 5:00 pm. You must be there and you can play that instrument in the party or something just make sure to be there.” The call quickly ended after the brief notice. Putting her phone back in her bag, she went to the company to drop off some paperwork she had finished and then went back home to get ready for the party. 

As she entered the venue, she saw business partners and relatives talking to each other. She was wearing a simple but elegant dark blue dress with black heels. White flower earrings matching with the outfit and a white purse. She didn't feel like she was supposed to be there. Scanning the room, she spotted her mother. She gracefully walked to her mother and put on a fake smile. “Hello, mother.” Her mother turned and a fake smile was on her face. “Heejin, you made it!” her mother said with a fake cheerful voice, making her wanting to cringe so badly.

Her mother turned to the people who she was talking to. “Heejin, this is my business partners, Mrs. and Mr. Kang.” Then she turned to her. “Mrs. and Mr. Kang, this is my second daughter, Heejin.” Heejin smiled at them and gave them a nod. They smiled back. “Mother, I am going to go explore around,” she informed her mother before taking off. Heejin found a seat in the garden and decided to sit down as her feet are getting sore from walking a lot. 

She took off one of her heels at a time and gently rubbed them. Then letting them free until she has to go back inside. “Heejin?” She quickly turned her head around and saw Jaeyun. “Jaeyun?” He quickly walked towards her. Sitting next to her, he looked at the stars in the sky.

 “Are your parents here?” She gave him a nod. “Of course, it is their party anyways.” They sat in silence as both of them looked at the sky. “How were classes going for you?” He broke the silence. “It's doing fairly well, the school year is almost ending soon.” She smiled slightly just by thinking about it. “Before we know it, it will be a new school year,” he added. 

“Time goes pretty fast.” Then another silence filled in between them. “I'm going to go back inside, if you want or need to get out of anything just say those words.” She hummed in response. Jaeyun stood up and was about to leave. He stopped and turned to her. Taking off his blazer, he put it around her. She quickly looked at him and was about to take the blazer off. “No, keep it on. You look cold.”

“Thanks.” He nodded before walking back inside the building. Heejin looked back at the sky and quietly hummed a familiar melody only Sooah and her knew. People thought they were friends, but truth to be told they weren't friends. Just strangers that feel comfortable telling secrets. Nobody knows the secrets they told each other. Just only themselves. 

Which made her feel guilty for not telling them to anyone before it was too late. But it would break Sooah's heart and trust into pieces if she did. Just thinking about it made her heart ache a bit. She coughed a bit before deciding to go back inside. Putting back on her heels before walking back inside. Once she made it back inside, she decided to take a seat near the entrance. Taking some kind of fruit punch as she walked to a seat. 

She stared blankly in front of her when suddenly there were people around her. She almost choked on her drink and would blink twice just in case she was hallucinating or something. Heejin couldn't understand anything as they all came at once. “Ms. Yang, how was Australia?” “Ms. Yang, how was practicing the violin?” 

Taking another sip, she said, “I must say this fruit punch has a luscious taste. Perhaps you all should have a taste,” she suggested as she saw Jaeyun walking towards her from the side of her eyes. He gave them a smile as he walked to her then made an excuse before both of them walked away.

“I must say you are improving with the excuses.” Heejin was quite amused by what he said earlier. She took another sip of her punch. “Not all excuses worked more than once,” he said. She nodded in agreement. They decided to call it a night and went outside the venue. “Did you bring your car?” Jaeyun asked as they walked to the entrance. “I did not, why?” “Would you like me to take you home?” She shook her head. “It's not late so I can just take a cab.” She took her phone and went to the app. 

“Never mind that, I will take you home,” he said as he took her wrist. “Wait, it's only 10 at nigh－” “It's cheaper if I just drive you home,” he interpreted. She was about to talk back but quickly closed her mouth. He was right. It was cheaper if a friend took her home or anyone she knew. Once they made it to his car, they quickly went inside and seatbelted before he drove into the streets. The radio was softly playing in the background in the silence. No words were spoken throughout the car ride.

Heejin got out of the car as they made it to her apartment complex. Thanked Jaeyun for the ride before walking inside the building. Walking to the elevator, she entered her floor number and then quickly went inside her apartment. She turned on the lights after she took off her shoes. Noticing the bag he gave her a month was still sitting on the table untouched. After debating for a while, she decided to open it. Taking a seat in front of the bag, she opened it up. There was a box inside. 

She quickly took it out before opening the box. Her eyes widened and a smile grew on her face. Tears were peaking it way down her cheeks. Quickly wiped them as she just looked at the items inside the box. Noticing a note inside, she quickly took it out and read it. 

“I know it has been so long since you wanted it, but I hope you still want them and hope you like them” 

P.S. Welcome back, Heejin

Her hands automatically reached for her phone and immediately called Jaeyun. With one ring, he picked up. “Hello?” “You remembered?” She could hear a small chuckle from the other side. “So you finally opened it?” “Oh shut up, I was busy with everything, okay.” A smile grew even bigger across her face. “Do you like it?” “No, I love it, thank you.” “It's nothing, I got to go now.” She hummed in response. “Alright, have a good night.” “You too.” he said before the call ended. 

It wasn't anything expensive or elegant. It is more than that. Nobody but her could ever have wanted it since childhood. It was a beautiful simple snow globe of the cartoon, Charlie Brown, Snoopy lying down on the dog house and Woodstock on top of him. A Christmas tree and two snowmen that look like Charlie Brown and Snoopy as a decoration. It may seem stupid or silly to some people, but to her, it was more than that. 

One day during their freshman year of high school, Jaeyun and Heejin were walking around in the business part of Seoul after their academy. She saw that snow globe and wanted it, but couldn't because of her mother. He saw it and her eyes sparkled as the store light shined when he looked at her. He promised to himself to buy it one day for her when it went on sale again.

She quickly and carefully went to her bedroom with the snow globe. Sitting down, she put it on her desk after shaking it a bit to let it snow. Laying her head on her desk as she watched the snowfall.

- CHAPTER SEVEN -

New Year came around the corner, everyone was busy with family and celebrating it. Heejin was in her family house with the rest of her family quietly eating their last New Year's Eve meal, breakfast. Nobody was talking just the sound of utensils clanking on the plates and such. It was the same as the years before. Nothing new, just her coming back from Australia after 3 years. 

Her father cleared his voice and everyone looked at him except Heejin. “This year was another year of success. Good work everyone. I hope next year will be the same. Heejin, welcome back home” She stopped and looked at her food that she barely ate out of. “I'm going back to my room, please excuse me.” She quickly stood up and walked upstairs. Closing the door behind her, she walked up to her window. Staring through it, she watched some of her neighbors having fun outside. Playing in the snow. She wished her family was like that.

“You know you didn't have to be like this.” She rolled her eyes, still looking through the window. Her sister sighed. “Mother wants me to tell me that there will be a party in the house soon at 1 pm.” Right, there was always a New Year party in her house to celebrate this year's success, and hoping for more success next year. “Okay,” was all she said. Her sister rolled her eyes before shutting the door behind her.

Her phone suddenly made a buzzing sound. She quickly took her phone into her hands and saw a message from her childhood best friend. Telling her he is at the front entrance. She quickly replied before changing into something warm and simple. She exited her bedroom and walked downstairs where the maids were getting ready for the annual New Year party. “Where are you going?” Her mother asked. Heejin didn't move or turn from her spot. “None of your business.” 

“Don't give me that attitude or else,” her mother warned her. “You aren't going anywhere. There will be a party and you must attend.” Heejin turned around. “Can't I miss one of the annual New Year parties?” Her mother raised her eyebrows “You may－” “I am going with Jaeyun,” She quickly interpreted. Her mother sighed. “Fine, come home before the party ends.” She turned back around and went out of the house. A smile appeared across her face as she saw her best friend.

Jaeyun gave her a warm smile as she walked towards him. Noticing he wasn't feeling well. Well, maybe feeling well wasn't the right words. More like he was feeling down. “What's wrong?” She asked. He looked at her. “Let's get out of here.” She nodded and didn't ask any more questions as she knew asking more questions wouldn't do. They entered the car and he drove off to the destination. Heejin looked through the window as she waited. 

“Where are we going?” She finally asked, turning her attention to Jaeyun who was driving. “Somewhere, anywhere but there,” he answered. She hummed, wondering where he would take them. Once again there was a silence circling around them. “I know a place, but it is quite a drive,” he breathed out. “How far?”

“Far enough for nobody, not even a soul to recognize us,” he spoke. She looked at him, feeling quite excited to see this place he mentioned. She leaned back on the window with a light sigh watching the car drive past by the busy street of Seoul.

The drive went on and on until Heejin stopped counting the hours they had spent on the road. Glancing at the clock on the car radio, noticing it was almost midnight. She was about to welcome the new year with Jaeyun. It was something the two of them had done back then. Always full of hope that maybe the following year would make a move, one would make an old dream into reality, but as many moons and suns came nothing happened. 

Maybe it wasn't just Jaeyun who possess a bad experience with the new year, maybe Heejin too felt such loathing for the holiday. About half an hour into the trance, the view by her window shifted from grassy plains to small houses. Each was lit by fairy lights as families sat in their chairs looking up at the sky having conversations with one another. Trees stood from wherever her eyes gazed, something that was quite a rare sight in the city. And the skies, it was surrounded by white sparkles reflected in her eyes. 

Heejin looked through the windshield window confused. “Where are we?” Jaeyun glanced at her with a small smile crept upon his lips. “This is a place I would always go when I need a break…I brought you here with me because I thought you would like it and I knew I made the right choice.” He kept driving, and never stopped even once to take a break. He just went straight ahead until there was no more to drive at. Finally, they made it to a dead end, where right in front of them was a cliff, which beyond she could see a railing protecting from the other side from going forward than they should. Looking towards him, she raised her eyebrows when she saw he was even taking in the scene. A confusing sign that even he had never been to where they were currently at. 

He then exited the car first and noticed she wasn't following. He mouthed, “Come let's go out.” While signaling her to come outside. She let out a chuckle before unseatbelted herself and exited the car. Feeling the breeze hit her face, she felt refreshed. Walking towards her best friend and standing side by side next to him as both of them looked at the scenario in front of them. “This is beautiful,” she breathed out. He hummed in response, agreeing to her words. 

Moments later in the silence, they suddenly heard fireworks, making her flinch signaling them it was the New Year. He chuckled at her wincing from the loud noises. “You didn't change.” She raised her eyebrows. “What do you mean?” “I will be back, don't go anywhere.” She rolled her eyes. “It's not like I could go anywhere.” Watching him run back to the car, she turned back to the fireworks watching more go up. Suddenly, she felt something was in her ear, and quickly looked at Jaeyun. Music was suddenly playing. Realizing it was headphones, she smiled. “Thank you,” she thanked him. He nods before turning back to the sky.

Watching the fireworks go up, they sat down together on the road in each other's comfort even if they were centimeters apart from each other. Before going back to the city to their own reality. 

- CHAPTER EIGHT -

Heejin's third year was almost over in the blink of an eye after a few months passed quite quickly. Living in her apartment, reading nonstop until late at night, has brought Jaeyun some satisfaction. She had needed a glass of water one evening and jumped a little when she noticed her best friend buried in his textbook. Instead of dismissing him as she thought he had hoped, she made him a cup of coffee and returned to her bedroom. Though it was rather optimistic of her to think she could persuade him to study all night, she would have preferred he sleep instead. 

When he studied, there was a blaze of tenacity from his soul that both amused and concerned Heejin. Amused by his charming propensity to accomplish his most evident objective, which was to bring about Sooah's demise. Concerned that he would lose himself in his own diligence in the midst of everything; worried that he would put everything on the line. However, she was aware that nothing, not even his childhood best friend or his cousin, whom he regarded as a sister, could ever stop him. She realized that he would never be able to move on from the knowledge that Sooah died due to her adoptive parents—the same people who, thanks to their enormous wealth and the outpouring of compassion they have received, are still alive today. 

Heejin recalled being sickened by the hypocrisy of those people after seeing the news. If that was how she felt, she knew that Jaeyun felt far more than she did because, in contrast to her, he was aware of and had love for Sooah.

Her mind strayed, but she shook the ideas away, returning her attention to the book she was supposedly reading. It would be foolish of her to even wonder where Jaeyun was, despite that he was not in her apartment right now and the calendar showed that. It was also Sooah's birthday, two days prior to her anniversary of death. Her grave is the only location he could possibly be found in the nearly five years since her passing. 

Nobody could simply sit back and carry on with their day as usual if they had known the truth about her death. That's how Dae felt, knowing what happened those five years and led to those moments, she said when she called earlier to ask for Jaeyun. The incomplete book resting on Heejin's lap was the only indication that she was experiencing the same feelings. She had been sitting in her living room since Dae had called more than two hours ago. She had picked up her book exactly where she had left it, on page 142, and now she was still there, barely managing to read at all due to her disorganized thoughts.

Only after she had finally freed herself from the book she had forced herself to finish did Heejin receive another call a few hours later. She notices Dae's name again when she looks at the caller's contact name, and she wonders what she has to say now. She held the phone up to her ear after hitting the answer button. "Heejin?" Dae started talking almost instantly.  "I apologize for calling you again, but I need your help."

"What is it?" Heejin questioned, returning her book to its place on the shelf and giving the caller her undivided attention. "It's Jake. If he doesn't go home, could you please pick him up a few hours later?" On the other end, Dae begged, her desperation barely concealing itself. Since earlier, I've been attempting to persuade him to return home. The darkness is descending, and I can no longer stand to see him in this state. However, there's a chance that he might listen if you try. 

"Dae, if you can't get him to go home, what makes you think I can get him home?" Heejin sighed. "Since it's you, Heejin. The only person in the world who can ease the man's suffering is you. So, Heejin, please lend a hand. Remember that since he lost Sooah, he has never ever been alone.”

Dae bids farewell before hanging up the phone. When Heejin looked at the clock, she saw that it would only be an hour or so until dusk and a few more minutes until total darkness. She sighed and mentally noted that she would visit the cemetery by dusk if Jaeyun hadn't returned by then, but she didn't think there was much chance of forcing him to go. If she believes someone like Heejin could persuade a man to leave the grave of his first love, she believes Dae holds her in too great respect.  Someone who was only ever going to be his best friend.

She dismissed the thought, walked to her bedroom to get dressed, and then somehow managed to talk her best friend into leaving for home. 

Suddenly an image of Sooah appearing on her head prompted her to freeze as she was dressing up. Why are you in my head? Heejin pondered, glancing at her distressed face reflected in a nearby mirror. What do you want, Sooah? She told the image of Sooah still resting in her mind, looking at her with those eyes. The same ones Sooah used when she called Heejin a coward that one day when they spoke in the music room.

You're a coward, Heejin “You never understood, Sooah. Not even back then, you never did.” Heejin muttered. I don't need to understand to know that you're a coward who, out of fear, tarnished every chance at a relationship with Jake. 

Heejin was thrown out of her daze and out of her mind when she saw the lipstick she was holding crack visibly in the mirror. With wide eyes, she gazed at the shattered mirror, observing her own reflection in each fragment. Perhaps that has long been her true face—a broken person just like the one she sees in her mirror. She went to get her lipstick, put it in her purse, and left the room before she had a chance to speak to herself once more because Sooah's picture would soon reveal something she would never face.

She finally went to the front entrance after picking up her car keys, which were sitting by the table. The drive there was uneventful, though she felt dread each time she saw the cemetery in the distance. By the time she arrived, she had given it serious thought as to whether she should go get him or remain and lament her own fate. Heejin was driven insane by Sooah's constant repetition of his voice, telling her to leave, since she didn't want to go to him and witness his agony over her. She did not want to witness the man's first love being lost. She didn't want to be made aware of the fact that Sooah was no longer alive and that she hadn't even if she knew for some time the truth about her parents.

She didn't want to be reminded that she could've saved Sooah. Abruptly, a knock on the window was heard. "Song Seojin." As Heejin caught sight of the figure through the window, she said. She gave him a fake smile, since that was all she could manage right now, and pushed the button to roll down the window. "I apologize for you not catching me at my best. 

“I don’t think I'll be able to catch anyone who knows the truth about Sooah at their best moment.” Seojin slightly chuckled.  “If you are here for Jake, I hope you do accompany the man right now. He looks like he badly needs a friend.”

“Could you be that friend to him?” Heejin queried. “I think I would be the worst person he should be around, not when I remind him so much of her.” He shook his head. “I know it hurts to see someone you love in this state, but a time like this is where you're most needed. I must leave now. I have some studying to do. Hope you will finally muster the courage to step out of the car.”

Waving goodbye, Seojin turned his back on Heejin, leaving her alone once again to think about everything. “Screw this,” she said, opening the door to her car and getting out of there before she strangled her to death on the tininess of her car. “The siblings really have their way of getting to you,” she mumbled to herself, recalling the siblings who had persuaded her to take the action she was about to take.

They were right. 

He needed a friend. He has to know he's never alone. And she will make sure he never fights this battle alone. 

Slowly walked up the stairs to Sooah's grave until she caught sight of Jaeyun sitting by the gravestone with a large textbook in hand. Only when she was near enough to cast her shadow upon him did he realize he wasn't alone. Unlike any other day, where he would offer her the warmest of smiles, He had only stared at her with wonder in his eyes, not knowing what she could have been thinking, unlike any other day when he would have given her the warmest smile. For several minutes, they simply gazed at one another, attempting to decide what would be the most appropriate conversation starter.

“Dae sent me here,” Heejin spoke as she walked next to him, looking at the gravestone in front of her. Though it was barely detectable, she felt herself trembling as she wrapped her left hand around her right wrist. “Let's go home, Jaeyun. It is getting dark, you can study when you're in your apartment.”

"Are you aware that this is my longest stay here yet?" In order to skirt her invitation, Jaeyun makes a confession she wasn't quite prepared for. I always want to leave after a half hour or more because I come to realize she's gone. I'm agitated and upset about it, Heejin. 

“I know Jaeyun.” She lowered to his eye level until he no longer had to look up just to meet her eyes. “I know saying it will get easier would be the worst thing I could do to you right now, so I'm offering my friendship because I know that telling you it will get better would be the worst thing I could do at this moment. I'm telling you to go home because, as your friend, I won't allow you to sit here all night without even eating.

“If I leave, then I'd have to start pretending like I'm okay again.” 

“You'll be with me, Jaeyun and you know with me, it's okay to not be okay.” Heejin extended her hand to him. “Just please go home and we could get something to eat in the convenience store or somewhere on the way.”

“You know you don't have to do this, Heejin.”She hummed in response. “I know, but someone has to, and to your fortune, it was me and not your cousin who will kill you if you still don't get your butt up and take care of yourself.”

For once, Jaeyun weakly smiled, looking back at the marbled stone that had Sooah's name carved on it. His gaze lingered there for a minute, as if he was telling her something in his mind. Finally, he took her hand and stood up, his other hand still clutching the textbook he had been studying. “I think I want ramyun,” he told her while fixing himself. 

Heejin chuckled, “Of course, we will go get some ramyun.” Before she could walk away from the grave, she gave it a final glance. It has always been you and Jake, Heejin. she recalled Sooah having said those exact words to her. 

We've always been cowards, you and me

- CHAPTER NINE -

It seemed like only a moment, yet another year had passed. In one of South Korea's busiest cities, time goes by very quickly. 

Heejin's fourth year was drawing to a conclusion, and as the deadline approached, she found herself increasingly drawn to the idea of leaving university behind. Every day, the area gets colder and colder as loneliness consumes her. losing contact with the companies she used to like and having very few acquaintances with whom she could agree. Her few friends were missed. She had missed spending time with Jaeyun on a regular basis. Despite the fact that she hardly spoke or spent time with them, she missed several of her classmates who were presumably preoccupied with their senior year.

University students would frequently congregate in the middle of the day at the nearby cafe. Remarkably, Heejin caught it at its less busy hours before the nearby student body began to swell. Ordering a cinnamon coffee and two pieces of red velvet cake before taking a seat in the furthest corner closest to the window. Before completing a few of her incomplete projects, she pulled out her laptop and earbuds. She paused typing in the middle of her busy work as the thought of her future crossed her thoughts. Her parents believed that her only reasonable option was to pursue her business degree further.They said she would be an exceptional businesswoman, collaborating with her sister and offering guidance that she would require in the near future. But while she continued to prepare to inherit the aspirations her father had established, she realized she would never be content with that life, that she would never experience the bliss that her elder sister had. 

Her hands hadn't intended to glance at her email while she was waiting behind everyone's back for the acceptance letter from Guildhall or Juilliard, where she had sent out her application months prior. She wished it was the acceptance letter from any of the institutions as she knew it would be issued shortly. A solid excuse to finally escape the cruel prison she'd been living in and enter the world she knew would bring her happiness. She sighed and peered out the window.

From the corner of her eye, she caught a glimpse of a familiar face coming into the cafe. She recognized who it was right away and returned to her laptop, closing her email and returning to the file she had been working on. When Jaeyun saw that she was staring at him, he smiled sweetly at her and went to wait in line to get his own coffee. While he was occupied with his phone, which he was holding with his free hand, she observed that he was cradling a pile of paper. 

It was evident to Hyejin what Jaeyun's future held. Considering his intended career path, law school seemed to be the only viable option. Recalling that on a certain day in the previous year, he was admitted to the most competitive law school in Seoul, South Korea. She was ecstatic to hear the news, maybe more than him. When she realized that this was the only instance in which she couldn't bring herself to follow him down the path where he never thought he would become, the only instance in which she couldn't bear what was being demanded of her, she smiled bitterly. 

She was having trouble determining whether the rapid changes were for the better or worse. 

Jaeyun approaches her table after placing his order and swiftly pushes her belongings to the side to make room for his own belongings. Setting down the thickest paper that had earlier been held in his arms, he sat across from her. She glanced at it and saw that it was his graduate classes assignments.

Heejin jokes, "That looks fun," as she keeps typing on her laptop. "I would have to disagree with that." Leaning back in his chair, he took a sip of the drink that he had ordered only moments before. "I'm not very knowledgeable about business, but is there anything I can do to help you?" He offered, but she graciously declined his offer of assistance by shaking her head. “No worries, it’s okay.” She made a lighthearted joke while working on her paper, "Instead Mr. Law student, you should concentrate on your own studies." 

If only one of the universities would just send her an acceptance letter, telling her they are willing to admit her to their fine institutions, then everything she does in the future would be actions she knew made her happy."Has it ever occurred to you that after spending so much time together, in a few more weeks we'll be parting ways for good?" The silence between them was broken by Jaeyun.

Heejin paused her typing to let out an impersonated laugh. This was one of her best attempts in order to make their impending split seem less serious than it actually was. "Earlier, I was thinking exactly the same thing." maintained her smile despite what her true thoughts were telling her. However, we've always known that we wouldn't be seeing each other as frequently as we once did. “All that needs to be done is accept the present and fate.”

There was another pause, and this time it was because Jaeyun had been silent for almost five minutes, giving her the idea that she should stop talking and that it wouldn't be a good idea to start up a new discussion.

"Sometimes... Would Sooah be experiencing the same anxiety I am currently experiencing about the future if she were alive and present? Jaeyun mumbled abruptly; it was her turn to keep her mouth shut this time. She wished he had succeeded with his initial plan, but she only wanted to hear it, because of the way he said that sentence, which made her believe it was never meant for her to hear. All she needed to know was the name of the woman whose voice would sometimes float through her head, haunting her like a ghost in a horror film, giving her advice on what to do and what not to do when she felt lost.

Nearly four years had passed since Song Sooah's unfair death, so the voices had grown softer, but Heejin could still clearly hear them. Glancing at Jaeyun, she pondered whether he had experienced the voice of his first love on an equal footing with her. He needed to follow the advice of a long-deceased person if he found himself lost in a particular circumstance.

He has most likely heard it more times than I have.

"I applied to a few other universities in addition to both of them." He was taken aback by her confession and instantly broke into an excited smile, finding it funny that a girl who had never once disobeyed her parents was now doing something that would undoubtedly infuriate them. Heejin was aware that, should she manage to gain acceptance, she would prefer Jaeyun to be the first to know since, from what she knew, he was going to be the happiest of them all. That's why her mouth had to tell him about something she'd done behind everyone's back months ago. "Have you been accepted yet?"

“Although the results are still pending, I sincerely hope to be accepted. Anything to avoid my family's eyes as much as possible.”

In response, he hummed and glanced through the window before turning to face her. "I suppose we will actually be apart for a considerable amount of time." He attempted to lighten the sentence. "I guess so," she said, forcing a grin.

She was trembling because she wasn't sure if she had been accepted to any universities or not. Guildhall and the other universities were in one tab, and Juilliard was in the other.

She was so sweaty that she could hardly even hold the mouse steady enough to click on the portal and view Juilliard's answer to the application she had sent out. Not only was she anxious about the outcome, but she also struggled to figure out exactly what she would do if she received an acceptance letter. Would she run to Jaeyun's to break the good news and leap with excitement? Would she head straight to her parent's house, gloat to them about a solo accomplishment, and inform them that this was the first step toward becoming the person she truly wanted to be?

But Heejin knew that if she just clicked on the two results that were instantly available, the confusion in her mind would quickly dissipate. Breathing out, she released the mouse and stood up from her chair, pacing back and forth. The words written on her screen dictated everything that would happen after tomorrow, and her future rested on each and every one of the letters. Her independence and sanity were in jeopardy.)

I'm capable of this. She kept telling herself this over and over until she was positive that this was the reality of the moment. I'm capable of this.

Heejin grabbed her chair and closed her eyes before clicking her mouse's left button, which would bring up the response. Afterward, she was unable to open her eyes, and even when she did, she was unable to focus on her laptop's screen. She finally felt a wave of courage after hearing the sentence, "I can do this over and over again," and before she knew it, she was looking at the letter that was now in front of her.

……we hope to see you on campus

"I got in?" she exclaimed. "I made it in!" She let out a startled scream of delight as she leaped from her chair. However, she hurried back to her chair and used her perspiring hands to open the other tabs. Upon perusing the remaining acceptance letters from the university, her mouth fell open. Before she knew it, tears started to flow.

She swiftly rummaged through the stack of papers by her desk for her phone and dialed the first person that came to mind—the person who she knew would react exactly as she was doing right now. Jaeyun answered after two rings, said hello, and inquired about the nature of the call. She continued by telling him the good news she had just learned.

“Oh my goodness, that's incredible! Heejin, congratulations!” Through his own voice, he told her, "I knew you were worried about nothing. This is a reason to be called for a celebration! Would you like to eat with everyone for dinner later?”

She glanced at her wall clock, calculating what time to leave later in the evening, and said, "Hm, maybe not later, I have to go somewhere, but dinner with everyone sounded nice.”

"Are you telling them today?" She responded with a hum. “Is it something you have to do today? Could you not celebrate now and then face their wrath later on?”

She chuckled. He couldn't disagree when she said, "Even though that sounds so nice and a better choice, getting over their wrath is better than the calm before the storm. In any case, I need to get ready. You are free to go back to what you were doing earlier before I bother you.”

You didn't cause any disturbance, so it's okay. "Just call me if you need me, okay?" He bid her farewell and ended the call. She let her body realize she was staring at the ceiling and sighed as she turned off her phone. Heejin, take deep breaths. 

As Heejin drove to her parents' house, her hands felt cold. She was aware of her parents, as well as those of her older sister, who appeared to spend all of her money on ostentatious clothes made just for her and bags made of materials sufficient to feed thousands of people when she was absent from the country. But when Heejin told them about her plans to attend an academic institution they had once forbade her from attending, her reaction was the least of her worries because her opinion really didn't matter.

When she reached the house, the maids welcomed her with kind smiles, expressing how happy they were to see the youngest Yang family member return home after a while. When she opened the door to her former residence, a maid greeted her, took her coat, and told her where everyone else in the house was. Going upstairs, she entered her father's study where her parents were talking about their business. Their attention shifts from what they were talking about to their daughter's unexpected knock on the door, asking for permission to enter and hear what she has to say. 

“Heejin? I was unaware that you were returning home. Her mother came over to plant a quick peck on her daughter's cheek. Is there anything you need?"

She told them, "I actually came here to talk to the two of you," and left the door open in case she had to make a quick escape. "It has to do with the next step after undergrad."

Both of her parents looked at each other, wondering what it may be. "All right, what's that?" Her father asked. She inhaled sharply. "I won't pursue a master's degree in business after." Her father didn't seem overly pleased and her mother was not just astonished but also dismayed and incredulous. The exact emotions that a child would never wish to witness on the faces of any of their parents. She stood where she was, doing her best not to let the difference bother her. She needed to maintain her courage and, for once, take charge.

"Yang Heejin, what are your plans then? As safe as a businesswoman's plans? Would it provide you with a more favorable route than the one your father and I created for you? Heejin could tell by her mother's tone that she was making an effort to maintain her composure and wasn't raising her voice. 

"Juilliard and other music-focused universities accepted me. I know it's not quite as comfortable as the path you guided me to, but that's the best place that I could learn the violin and one of the best music schools in the world.”

"Oh, so you know what kind of risk you are encountering?" There was a sneer on her mother's lip. "Heejin, I've worked very hard to provide you with a comfortable life. Does playing an instrument really mean you have to ruin your life? This can't be. Your master's degree will be established for you, and that is final. Her father eventually said, "You're not going to Juilliard or any other music school in the future," maintaining a stern and low voice despite the disappointment and rage on his face. 

“Father, I don't want to go into business! I do not want to be a part of the world you have created, nor do I want to assist my older sister in running your company. I am requesting permission to play the violin because that is all I want to do. As your daughter, I have never once disobeyed you.” She wasn't intending to yell at them, but her emotions got the better of her. 

"No, Heejin, you don't realize that being a musician has no future—only a select few ever succeed and become famous! This other route for you assured you of everything! You possess all that a person could ever desire; are you really going to throw that away for a future that you're not even certain will be bright?” Her father persists in trying to persuade her to change her mind, but the decision was made before she even arrived. 

Both of their faces had a defeated expression. In dismay, her mother pushed her neatly styled hair back, causing it to become messy, while her father pinched the bridge of his nose and sank into his seat. It broke Hyejin's heart a million times to know that she was the reason for her parents' greatest disappointment in their entire lives. The wind changed direction when her father spoke abruptly, but she nearly felt their defeat when she realized her parents wouldn't ever allow it.

"Your grandmother's life was wasted trying to become perfect in piano. She was always on the piano, so she hardly ever spoke to your grandfather or me. He shares with her a tale that she had never before heard. She only truly expressed interest in our family when you expressed interest in playing the violin. Until then, every time we came to visit, even your sister was ignored. When your grandmother realized she couldn't continue enhancing her talent until her final moments, she turned to you and nearly went insane doing so." 

Heejin never thought of her grandmother to be crazy. She couldn't get her out of her head since she was always locked in her room playing the piano and never spoke when the family visited her grandparents. She never noticed that her grandmother nearly lost herself perfecting an already-perfect instrument, even though she had always assumed her grandmother loved the piano enough to play it as much as she did.

Heejin now realized why her grandmother had always planned her recitals prior to her severe illness and why it was her mission to have Heejin play as much as she could. In the hopes that a family member would perfect her love in a way she was never able to, she was passing it down.

"Hyejin, could you swear to us that the violin won't lure you in the same way that it did your grandmother? Will you swear that you won't develop the same affection for the instrument as your grandmother did?"

 "I promise with my life." She makes a commitment with everything she has. 

“Then I will give this to you. I'll cover all the costs, but you'll stop as soon as I notice you becoming fixated.” Hyejin felt her father's affections for the first time in a long time, and without thinking, she threw herself forward and gave him a hug unlike anything she had ever experienced. 

This was it. The start of her new life.

- CHAPTER TEN -

It was finally her year to complete her undergraduate studies. She took two weeks after graduating to prepare for her move. Heejin was gathering her belongings. She was spending her last day in Seoul, South Korea. She was eager to attend Juilliard, one of the schools recommended by her instructor, but she was also quite anxious. 

Her heart skipped a beat or two as she was going through the boxes she had moved into the apartment and hadn't yet unpacked. Her hands became trembling as she peered inside one of the boxes. She closed the box quickly and then inhaled deeply.

Opened the little brown box once more and stared at the contents, her breath caught, her heart pounded in her chest. Tears began to fall. Sooah's belongings, namely her well-worn black, pink, and her beloved green ballerina slippers were lying inside. She has ten pairs of slippers and one pair of green slippers. Her favorite color was green. Brown box next to the slippers. Heejin's hands were shaking as she cautiously picked up the box. Breathe deeply before opening it.

When she saw what was inside, her eyes widened slightly. Protected in a bag was Sooah's precious silver locket. It was uncomplicated yet incredibly meaningful. As Heejin closed the box and replaced it with the brown box, tears began to fall. She grabbed the green slippers and leaned back against the wall a little before falling to the ground. Recalling that day, she hugged the slippers closer to her.

Heejin was so close yet too far to save Sooah. Her best friend's first love. She remembered her brother giving her the box three days after the funeral, a week before she left to go to Australia. 

She heard someone calling her as she was entering her family's home. "Heejin!" She turned around and halted at her spot. After the funeral, she saw someone she never imagined seeing. He ran in the direction of her while in a box. "You should have this." He handed the box to her. She gave him a look of confusion. Seojin, what is this? She asked, her expression bewildered. He gave her a gesture to open it. So she did. 

Her eyes widened. “Is this—no it can't be.” She looked at Seojin. “I can't accept this.” Trying to give him back the box, but he wouldn't hold it. “No, keep it, Sooah herself asked me to give this to you.” 

"Did she?" Startled, she questioned. He gave a headshake. "Not quite, but if she had been here, I'm sure she would have thanked me for giving it to you first." Heejin gave the box a firm hug and held it to her chest. "I'll protect this," He grinned. "And you will, I'm sure of it." He gave her a pair of letters. "This is for Jaeyun and you. Hold off on giving it to him. When the time is appropriate, give it to him. She studied the letters, then returned her focus to him. "How will I find out?" He gave her a pat on the back. You'll be able to tell when it's time. Don't read yours yet, either. Hold off till you deliver Jaeyun's letter. Those letters were written by Sooah herself.” She thanked him before saying their farewells.

Heejin snapped out of her reverie, closing the box after placing the slippers back inside without realizing she was still holding them tightly. Prior to leaving the room with the box. Jaeyun noticed her leaving her room as he was finishing up his assignments. "Are you done?" She responded with a hum. He extended his arms. "Would you like me to hold the box?" She gave a brief head shake. "I'll carry it. She emphasized, "It's not heavy, and the things inside the box are really important." He understood as well as nodded.

They took a car down her complex's driveway to the storage place. After that, they packed the remaining boxes inside her storage unit and left. Heejin returned to her room to make sure everything was ready and clean. 

Her best friend was getting up from his seat when she appeared from her room. Okay, let's head over to the airport. Jaeyun went to the door after grabbing his keys. Heejin trailed behind him. After getting into his car, they headed to the airport. The only sounds in the car on the way to the airport were the wind and the music playing on the radio. No one spoke. She was at a loss for ideas on how to break the appropriate tone between them. Given how drastically their lives would change when she left for a few years, it's possible that neither of them was truly prepared to say goodbye. She was as much a part of him as he was of her. 

Jaeyun assisted her in unloading her bags from the back of his car after it was parked, even carrying the majority of her heavy baggage even though she insisted on doing it herself. "You can start being independent when you're there already." He makes a joke, to which she snorts back. 

Heejin thought back to when Jaeyun had picked her up four years prior, following her years of violin study in Australia. They were back at the airport now, and she was ready to head back to New York to resume her violin studies. It was funny to consider how, due to the numerous hardships she had been experiencing, nothing that had happened to her in the previous years had felt real, including that memory from four years ago.

Heejin eventually stated "You know you don't have to bring me to the airport," as they made their way to drop off her luggage. "I don't mind, it's okay, and I won't see you for years." She responded with a hum. after the bags have been placed in the baggage station. They approached the security line keeping a good distance apart but walking side by side next to each other. 

"Are you scared?" Jaeyun asked. 

She hummed. "A little bit? However, I kind of like it and it's a good kind of scary." She acknowledges. "What really scares me is the fact that I'm going to be alone for a long time." He gave a bitter smile. "I'm quite sure you wouldn't be totally alone for long." 

She realized she had a little more time before she had to leave for sure when she glanced at the large screen that showed the exact departure time of each plane. She looks at Jake and sees that he too realized what would happen next, and he gives her a woeful look.

 "I guess it's goodbye." Attempting to smile, Hyejin says she was taken aback when she felt him draw her in until he was giving her a firm hug. She had given him a surprise hug in return, but not before savoring the comfort and aroma of her love before their prolonged separation. "I gonna miss you,"

"I appreciate you being my pillar of support over the past four years." In her ear, he whispered. "Study diligently, please. There are some things you need to take care of later." She gives him a quick pat on the back as she tells him. "Remember, I have you covered always." 

She makes an attempt to escape the hug, but Jake embraces her more tightly as if he couldn't let go of her. "Give me a minute." She gives in to his mumbles. She managed to whisper something to him that she had never been able to say before the two of them could release their grip. 

"I love you." 

She would much rather he know that nothing

© 2024-2025 — all rights reserved to user iovestuck, please do not steal, plagiarise, or translate any of my works without prior permission from me !

[kiwiikato]

Hi! I saw your requests are open so I need someone to write some Ken x reader ideas lol but first I wanted to know if you have any rules or is there anything you don't feel comfortable writing? 👉🏻👈🏻

masterlist

PLEASE DO TAG/CREDIT ME IF YOU USE ANY OF THESE IDEAS :3 i would love to read everyone’s work

i really hope this is accurate to what you want in your requests, so let’s go! i’ll try to get a good amount out for u :3

as for the comfortable part, i don’t really have any rules, just the usual avoiding really weird and socially bad topics

note! if anyone wants to request these headcannons as an actually drabble, i would be more than willing to do it. just pls be aware that i am hesitant on nsfw stories but i’d be willing to give it a try!

kenji sato x reader ideas!

divorced dad! kenji x preschool teacher! reader - very wholesome story, kenji takes his child to school and after a couple of interactions, he can’t help but get nervous and ask you out for dinner, finding your kind and loving nature for his child lovable.

baseball player! kenji x reporter! reader

married couple! kenji x reader - just a story of cute moments they have as a married couple, whether it be sleeping, cooking, dancing, showering, and so on. all these actions and moments pure and sweet.

kenji x old childhood friend! reader

kenji x ex-girlfriend/boyfriend! reader - the usual ex couple who runs into one another and can’t deny their remaining attraction to one another, giving it another shot

exhausted! kenji x sweet convenience worker! reader - on the days where kenji is more exhausted from taking care of emi, he takes a break picking out some snacks for himself to enjoy. the convenience worker there ends up feeling bad for him and giving him the snacks for free on you. this one time interactions becomes more frequent and he eventually asks you out on a date with a cute confession.

kenji x marine biologist! reader - kenji goes and asks you, a dr. in marine biology, specific weird questions, all correlating to emi (who you don’t know about). it isn’t till he keeps coming back more, that he finally introduces you to emi, making you become excited at the cute scaly kaiju.

kenji! x coaches daughter/son! reader

kenji x ami’s sister! reader

ultraman! kenji x robotics engineer! reader - a cute story of kenji always “accidently” breaking things and returning back to you to fix them, all as an excuse to see you.

ultraman! kenji x ultraperson! reader

kenji x architect! reader - kenji hires an architecture to help add onto his house, the constant meetings get you closer and closer

kenji x personal chef! reader

kenji x kaiju whisperer! reader - only one person really knows anything about kaijus, you! being the only person to actually have stumbled across kaijus, you begin to study them and grow your knowledge. when kenji first gets emi, he struggles to take care of her, giving in to searching for the girl who is rumored to be a kaiju whisperer. he eventually hires you and the two of you become closer over time.

kenji! x single mother! reader

kenji sato x reader angst ideas!

couple! kenji x reader - motorcycle incident - either the reader OR kenji get into a motorcycle accident and are sent to the hospital. the unharmed partner runs to the hospital in a hurry, panicking at the wounds they’re significant other have sustained. when they get to the hospital, they can’t help but to demand answers and cry as they wait for you to come back from the operation room.

cheating! kenji x reader

kenji x cheating! reader

divorced couple! kenji x reader

mourning kenji x reader - it’s been a couple months, maybe even a year, since his partner passed away due to a illness. each day is a reminder of how you’re no longer there in front of him and it tears him apart. sending him into grief and loosing his bonds and hobbies in the process.

kenji x reader - fighting and falling out of love

college playboy! kenji x reader

asshole celebrity! kenji x reader - kenji is getting interviewed, and in the midst of the questions, he is asked about his love life and calls you a temporary fling, hurting your feelings and making you leave his place saddened

ultraman! kenji x injured in battle! reader

kenji x kidnapped for ransom! reader

kenji sato x reader nsfw ideas!

dominant! kenji x submissive! reader

submissive! kenji x dominant! reader

sports rivals! kenji x m!reader

annoyed/sexually frustrated! kenji x reporter! reader - kenji is being watched by a reporter, you, so his normal routines are being disrupted, including sexual relief. eventually he catches you, lectures you, get frustrated, and you offer to do anything to not get sued. one thing led to another and BOOM! the nasties are done ;3

glory hole! kenji x reader

baseball player! kenji x assistant coach! reader

single father! kenji x babysitter! reader - kenji is a single father, struggling to raise his human child, he calls for a babysitter. you come into the picture and have now been working there for months, the both of you slightly eyeing eachother but staying professional. until one day, kenji’s kid is asleep and the two of you get some much needed alone time

ultraman! kenji x assistant! reader

[cozzzynook]

Hi, I would like StarBee's other doodle about Angst, pregnancy and Comfort.

Where Bumblebee discovers that he is pregnant with Starscream and does not tell him for fear of being abandoned, but what he does not know is that Starscream suspects something else

Believing that Bumblebee was avoiding him and that he does not love him, making Starscream angry but Bumblebee ends up explaining the real matter and hopes for some relationship from his sparkmate

- bee would find out he’s sparked and immediately try to avoid Starscream because he fears the seekers response and how he’ll react.

- he knows Starscream is a great creator because of the grown sparklings that still love him from his bonding with Jetfire. Even his nieces and nephews still love the dramatic mech. So bee isn’t worried he’ll offline him or the sparklings. He’s scared that it’ll prove to him what he and Star have is just momentary and something fun instead of something serious and real.

- no one ever wants Bee in a serious way. Just like his brother Rodimus bots want them for a fun time and a joy ride. Sure his brother has two mechs now that love him and are bonded to him but he has a hard time thinking he can get the same.

- so he avoids Starscream and the trine that Starscream politely asked to find Bee, worrying in itself, who is hiding at his brothers who understands his feelings and tells Bee he’s always welcome. What surprises Bee is Rodimus telling Bee to give Star a chance to react and see. If the mech reacts poorly, he��ll help Bee along with their carrier. If he doesn’t they can work from there and see where things go.

- bee thinks on this for a few months and its not something he’s proud of nor is it easy when Star literally flies over the city every day looking for him. Star is visibly angry but he doesn’t snark or blow up at bots like usual. No he seethes and that terrifies bots even more.

- so with Rodimus gentle pushing and going with him, they head over to Starscreams home when he isn’t there and Bee slips inside with Rodimus promising he’ll be in the area in case he needs him.

- starscream comes home to the alert of an intruder and sees Bee sitting there with a troubled em field and his frame looking different than before. He can’t quite put his digit on it but it looks so familiar and Bee’s em field has a familiar ring he can’t place his processor on.

- but his state of surprise goes away quickly when he remembers to accuse Bee and demand to know who he left him for and why.

What could that mech offer Bee that he couldn’t?

And Bee is so confused and hurt, that sight makes Star stumble for a moment and he’s on his knees in front of Bee stuck between anger, hurt and wanting to console his, the bug, until the words make sense in Bee’s helm and he’s telling Starscream.

- “i didn’t..we aren’t dating..we aren’t together Starscream..are we?”

And yeah, Starscream yells something feral out into the tense space away from Bee’s audials mindful of the mechs wellbeing even when upset. And he can’t help yelling.

“Yes we’re together you bolt brain! I may not have verbally asked you but I won’t see anyone but you. I won’t have anyone but you. And i won’t let you leave me for some slag, poorly put together mech or femme that is lesser than me! You are mine, slaggit!”

And Bee is just…seeing stars in his optics looking at the mech thats such a dumb aft but his spark is for once in the right place.

“You fraggin idiot! You’re supposed to ask!”

And the water works come which, Starscream has no idea how to handle since Bee doesn’t really cry and he’s holding his tanks with a servo and trying to wipe fluid off with the other making him think something was wrong.

“I’m fine bolt wing..I wasn’t gone because I was cheating on you or in love with some other mech,” Bee let Starscream get so close to him as the mech held him tight for the first time in two months.

“I left because…”

And its way too hard getting the words out. He’s not sure how to say it without bursting into tears and he doesn’t want to play a guessing game or beat around the bush any longer.

Stars worried optics leave him speechless, spark spinning wild and his optics lost in that beautiful red gaze.

He decides physical talking is the best route to go and placing Starscreams servo on his puffed out tanks that have rounded already is the best way to reveal to the mech whats dawning on his face plates as he looks down and splays his palm against the warm space that houses their forming sparkling.

“You-you’re sparked?”

A nod.

Simple, nervous, erratically done.

And met with the most loving, frame crushing hug he’s ever gotten.

“I didn’t think you loved me..so I left to my brothers. I’vw been with him and his conjunxs this whole time..I know you wouldn’t kill either of us..but I didn’t want you to hate me. I didn’t want you to hate them. I wanted you to want me and our sparkling, like I want you and our sparkling..”

“You fraggin insect wall crasher,” Starscream choked, keeping Bee in a warm embrace so he couldn’t see his face plates.

“I’ve loved you from the moment you looked me in the optics, glared at me and called me a stuck up, out of fashion stiletto wearing cog-masher that needed better derma gloss. You are the most beautiful mech Primus has ever created and I’d be a fool to not see it. I just know our sparkling will be as amazing as my others.”

To hear those words were to hear a symphony of stars welcome him to the well of the all spark.

Bee broke down crying in Starscreams arms after hitting him in the shoulder.

Starscream’s wings fluttered in happiness and Bee knew the seeker would not want him to be anything other than himself.

[gatitties]

Hi!!

i hope your having a good day/night! I don't know if you're comfortable with writing angst but if you are, can you plases make a fic where zoro dumps y/n really mean and sanji comforts y/n? Thank you!! if you can't its also fine!

─Sanji x reader

─Summary: Hurt by the behavior of one of your companions, Sanji makes his way into your heart to heal it.

─Warnings: zoro is and asshole in this one

I'm fine with writing angs!! but I don't know if I'm good at it, it's not something I usually write a lot 😓

You watched the barely visible waves at night, everyone was already asleep when you decided to go out on the deck to vent your discomfort a little, you didn't want to bother anyone with your problems right now, just release some accumulated bad energy.

Although you ended up diverting your thoughts to all those times Zoro belittled you, looked down on you, and made you feel tiny compared to everyone else, you didn't know the reason for his aggressive behavior towards you when you started out well, but you had to swallow and continue with the dirty looks and passive-aggressive comments towards you.

It began to affect your way of being, you changed some of your aspects because of him, because of his comments, because of the venom he spat in every sentence directed towards you, you did not have the courage or enough strength to return the shit he was doing to you, you decided to sink into your misery slowly, you were not going to change his behavior out of nowhere and if he was not going to give in to have a smooth relationship, you had nothing to do there.

You decided to ignore him and avoid him most of the time, you stopped listening to his comments towards you, his looks, for you he no longer existed and yet, here you are now, shedding hot tears while your mind plays with you, stabbing your heart with all the bad moments you had experienced, squeezing out every last offensive comment. He didn't deserve you, but here you are, thinking of possible solutions to fix a broken relationship when little interest had already been shown, you should have known better.

"Looks like I'm not the only one who couldn't sleep, huh?"

You almost choked on your own saliva, not expecting anyone to show up at this time of night, you sniffled, wiping your eyes, taking too long to turn around and face the blonde who seemed confused by your behavior. He took a drag on his cigarette, deciding not to ask why your eyes were red and swollen.

"Yeah, I couldn't fall asleep, too many thoughts that don't let me sleep."

You partially lied, looking towards the empty sea again, trying to hide your fallen face in a subtle way, although Sanji had already seen everything he needed to see, he sighed leaning on the railing next to you, silence took over the atmosphere for a few minutes that seemed eternal to you, he knew it and you knew that he knew it, but Sanji decided to let you be the one to take the first step as long as you wanted to talk about what was bothering you, he wasn't going to pressure you.

The silence was killing you, even though you weren't being pressured, you were carrying a lot of weight on your shoulders, a lot of bad thoughts and worries. When you looked up you found the cook's profile, he looked back at you, a look full of understanding, patience and softness, a reassuring look, you felt weak when you looked at him.

"I…" you began muttering, he focused all his attention on you, rubbing your shoulders slowly, you felt even worse, letting all the contained emotions spill out again in the form of silent crying "I don't know what to do, I've tried everything, but he doesn't… I don't think- I don't think it works anymore."

You broke right there, breaking into little pieces in front of Sanji, he brought you into a tight hug as he rubbed circles on your back, he didn't say anything as you cried, clinging to him like a lifeline.

"It's okay, everything will be fine, things will get better, I'm here with you."

He whispered softly, trying to calm your sobs and tremors, he waited patiently until you unburdened yourself, he listened to every word, every complaint, every cry, he didn't need to speak so you knew that no matter what happened, he would always be there for you, to kick the shit out of Zoro's moss head, to collect and put back together the pieces of your broken heart, to heal emotional wounds without asking for anything in return.

"Thank you Sanji."

You tightened the hug one last time before separating, your face still had tear marks running down your cheeks, but now your mind was calm and your lips had a slight smile.

"You don't have to thank me for anything, I will always be here if you need me."

He smiled at you once more, softening your heart again, you returned the gesture with a brighter smile, surely you weren't going to forget so easily the pain that Zoro caused you, but at least now you could calm your worries temporarily.

[zhongster]

If you're still willing to write for Stardew, can we get some headcanons about... anyone, really?

Oh absolutely dearest, it was actually a burp fic that got me into stardew valley in the first place way back in 2018 (it was about Sebastian and Sam was there too i think??) but for the life of me I haven’t been able to find it again

Anyway here are some headcanons for my personal favorite character: Elliott <3

THIS IS KINK CONTENT, DNI IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT

First of all Elliott is a huge drama queen

He might actually get embarrassed and cry if he burps in front of the farmer early in their relationship

Especially because this man’s burps are NOT small

They are BELCHY every. single. time.

I truly believe he’s such a dark horse and could easily out belch Shane if you give him beer

Wine burps

WINE BURPS GUYS

If he burps and tastes the wine it’s game over he’s like “aaaand that’s enough”

I personally hc him as being from a wealthy old money southern family (that he cut contact with bc they suck) so he has one of those rich people honey-thick southern accents

So i could totally see him full on BELCHING and then bringing a hand to his chest like “oh my lord, pardon me” with that southern drawl

Despite how overdramatic and embarrassed he’d be before he and the farmer start dating/in the early days of their relationship I feel like once he got comfortable he’d pretty much just let them out (within reason) without thinking much about it

If something absolutely wet and vile and disgusting came outta him he’d just cover his mouth with both hands and stand there in shock

I feel like he spends a lot of his time at his desk writing and drinking either red wine or tea (and forgetting to eat) so he ends up with a lot of air in his stomach

He’s very prone to liquid bloating since he does forget to eat and quells his stomach with drinks

He’ll let out some really good ones right there at his desk and just continue writing

Beer really gets his stomach bloated af

He usually avoids it for that reason but on holidays he has been known to indulge

Also Elliott has a surprising amount of kink worthy lines that are actually in the game its kind of insane

One such example:

He has a specific line where he stuffs himself during the winter feast and my brain went haywire with that one

He also definitely loves belly rubs

This is a man that likes to be pampered especially when he has a sore, bloated belly

If and when he and the farmer have children his burps have definitely woken the baby up on numerous occasions

They’re like prime for child-scaring

As in canon, he’s also very prone to hiccups

And the only way he can successfully get them to go away is to hit himself on the chest and try to force up the biggest belch possible

Sometimes he even has to swallow air to do it

I have a very specific image of him in my head letting out these monstrous burps while he fusses with his hair in the mirror

Or while he’s gathering his hair into a ponytail

He’s super casual about it too

Like I don’t think he understands how genuinely massive his burps actually are

He hears them all the time so he’s like??? Desensitized to how loud they are???

So when the farmer’s like “Jesus?!?!?” It takes him a second to be like “OH! OH THAT WAS LOUD I BEG YOUR PARDON” (again with the twang)

here’s a video reference

[altrodent]

In My Arms

Pairing: Donnie Darko x Reader

Genre/warnings: Fluff, comfort read, swearing, slight mention of appearance shaming, (not entirely proof read)

Summary: You have probably the worst week ever, and the only thing that can fix it is your “friend” 🩷🤭

Shit. That’s what this entire week has felt like. From accidentally tripping over nothing, to getting yelled at by an annoying old bitch, and even your closest friend almost dying, you just can’t take it anymore. All you want to do is huddle up in your cave of a room and hide forever. The only thing between you and home is a long couple of blocks, that never seem to end. Usually you’d walk with your… well, you aren’t sure what you are to him, but let’s just say you’re very close. Donnie Darko, your first friend, your first kiss, your first shoulder to cry on. Why don’t you go to him this time? His house just got demolished, his room specifically, you’d feel like an asshole if you talked to him and complained about something that small. Little do you know…

“Hey, wait up!” You gaze out of your peripheral view to see an all to familiar boy running up to you. On any day of the week, you’d love to see him and chat, but your brain is just a big word cloud of emotion. “You usually walk with me.” Your lips purse together, he tilts his head over to look at you “You doin’ okay?” You nod as your teeth start tearing away at your lips, avoiding his eye contact. “Hey…” he gently grabs your shoulders “You know you can talk to me, right? I mean, you do the same for me.” He smiles lightly, it absolutely melts your heart “I know, I’m sorry…” his hand reaches to your face as he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. “Don’t be sorry. I was actually wondering if maybe you wanted to come by later? You don’t have to of course I just wanted to-“ you smile and your small laugh cuts him off, seeing you like this makes his heart flutter. “Yes, Donnie, I’d love to.” He gives you a big hug before taking your hand and continuing your walk home.

He dropped you off at your house, and told you that you could come over when you’re ready. After an hour or so you had gotten dressed, cried out any unnecessary tears, and got your stuff ready. Before there was a knock at the front door “I’ll get it!” You shouted to anyone else who might be in the house. You open the door and Donnie’s there. “Hey, Don” You smile brightly and greet him with a hug “I thought I was going over to your house?”he hugged back greatly, before gently releasing his tight grip “I know, but I just didn’t want to wait that long.” You laugh “Well, come in. I think I still have movies scattered around my room somewhere.” He nods as you close the door and lead him to your room. It wasn’t too messy, but enough for him to notice the small bundle of wadded tissues and torn memories. He closed the door behind him “I actually also wanted to see how you were holding up.” Your brows raise “What?” He leans against your vanity, “You remember what I said, right? You can tell me anything.” You shift away and go back to trying to find your movies. “I said I’m fine Donnie, don’t worry!” You can’t seem to see at this point. You already cried, but when he goes out of his way to make sure you’re alright, it makes your tears swell in your eyes. You’re now on the floor, speechless, feeling like an ass. He walks over to you, squatting down to cup your face in his hands “Please.” A tear falls, and then it seems like the stream of salty fluid doesn’t stop. He gently picks you up and sits you on the bed. Immediately, you cling onto him as if he were a teddy bear, letting out every emotion from the past couple of weeks. The weeks that felt like months, the months that felt like years, the ‘best years of your life’ scam. He adjusts himself to lay against your oddly plush pillows, with you laying on him. The patterned rise and fall of his chest eventually infecting yours. “Fuck the Fear-Love spectrum shit. I can feel how I want” you mumble into the soft material in his shirt. His laughter rumbling in his chest, “What did I say about letting that hag of a bitch get to a beauty like you?“ “I know Donnie, she just… she made fun of my appearance and my overall person I wanted to go absolutely batshit crazy on her, but I just can’t. I’m weak… I don’t want to get in trouble because of someone like her.” You try and turn away but he pulls you back and without warning locks his lips with yours, though it wasn’t the first time he’s done this, it still just always catches you off guard. He’s sweet, and tender. Passionate, yet gentle, his lips blend into yours like liquid saccharine. What makes him special is that every time you’ve kissed, you can always tell he cares by the feeling of his lips curving into a smile, then when you pull apart all his eyes can seem to follow are you. Soon you pull away and giggle as he followed your lips “If I knew I’d get you like this for telling you how I feel, I would’ve opened up more.” You smile, before a devilish glint appears in his eye “We can always make up for lost time…” his eyes, instead of looking at anything else, stare daggers into yours. It’s almost as if his eyes were laced with a poisonous love, and you can’t get enough of it. Instead of answering with words you just press your lips into his. He hums in approval as his hands gently glide from your face to your hips. Slowly he guides you to move onto his lap, and you obey. He begins peppering kisses on your face, fitting in little praises and nicknames between some of them. He presses his lips against your forehead, before gently holding your face once more “We’ll get through this, together. Just give me your time and honesty, that’s all I ask… please?” His eyes buried into yours again, you hum “How could I say no to you, Donnie?” He smiles softly after pecking your lips one last time “I’m glad to have you in my arms.” Your smile never faltering, “I’m glad you want me in your arms.”

~

(A/N): I’ve watched it like 10 times, and while this is absolute shite, I just can’t figure out what to write right now. My ideas have run dry 😭