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morganas-pendragons · 4 years ago

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Epiphany | Commander Cody

another clone fic before i take my leave of tcw writing at least temporarily because my idea bank is dead (update: kidding i have another now, it’s coming this week) / this will probably not be happy because this song is not happy and most of you know better from me of all people lol

this is actually more hurt/comfort but i hope ya’ll like it! :D

based off of epiphany from taylor swift’s album folklore

ft. phantom because i haven’t written enough for her

@cherieboba // @libradusk / @obiorbenkenobi / @captainrexstan / @kamino-mermaid / @shitpost-kaley / @kryptonian-sith / @demigod-dragonrider-schoolidol / @lady-tano / @colorfulloverbatturkey / @djarinsdni / @sithmando / @skyguysaga / @starflyer-104 / @painkiller80 / @ct7567329 / @spaghetti-666 / @kaikai1324 / @cxptain-rex / @jellyfishpoptart

***

keep your helmet, keep your life son.. just a flesh wound, here’s your rifle

There’s a certain numbness that comes with being exposed to trauma so many times. Phantom knows in her heart of hearts that this - being on the front lines of a battlefield since the beginning of her padawanship to Obi-Wan Kenobi - was not what The Force meant for her. Jedi were not soldiers. They were peacekeepers.

And now it seems she is among the best of them.

Standing on the shorelines of Felucia, the eldest padawan of her class peers upward at the massive Separatist droid foundry they’ve been sent to eliminate. She knows the familiar signatures for the members of Ghost Company who have come to stand at attention around her as they await the General to begin their debriefing.

Needless to say, the debriefing doesn’t go well.

“You want to do what?” Cody is skeptical, to say the least, but her Master seems rather okay with the idea. It’s probably because of how he’s grown used to Anakin’s antics and this is so very something that Anakin would do.

“I want you to send me into the heart of the base, by myself.”

“Absolutely not. Not unless you have vode covering your exit.”

A side note to consider: Until this point, Phantom had been going by her given name both by the clones and their Jedi. This was the mission that earned her the nickname Phantom. She slipped away unseen, returned unseen.. but it didn’t mean that Cody didn’t worry any less even after she agreed to take a small squad of his best men.

That is now where he stands - in the eye of a hurricane that is his mind - on the beaches of Felucia that are crawling with clankers and vod. He’s barely able to hear the call of his Jedi through the comms or see the brothers who beg for his aid as he steps over their bodies and continues on in his task.

Crawling up the beaches now

Sir, I think he’s bleeding out

A bloodied hand print settles against his boot. It’s a deep scarlet that bleeds past the plastoid and into the skin as he recognizes his inability to save yet another brother who died for a war that just didn't end.

“I’m sorry.”

But in spite of his aching heart and the deaths he will have to catalog later, Commander Cody presses on. He has no other choice. He will go back to The Negotiator. He will come back to it with you - because Cody refuses to acknowledge a world where you are not present with him in it - and once Cody is safely ensconced within your embrace, he will weep for those he was unable to save. For those he failed.

Such is life.

***

With you, I serve

With you I fall down

You’ve made it this far without being seen by the magna-guards that Dooku strategically placed to protect the droid foundry, or the B1 legion that remains on the first floor to keep the 212th from entering the front door. They are the distraction, and you are the executor.

The bombs in your satchel tink as they bounce against your side.

Viper, Killshot, and Abel are all covering your escape. The three clones, two of which were only just recently promoted to ARC Troopers, are three of Cody’s best men and people he would trust with his own life. Now he’s trusted them with yours and you with theirs.

Your heart crawls into your throat when Abel starts screaming through the comms. He’s been overrun.

Watch you breathe in

Watch you breathing out, out

“You have to keep going, Padawan!” Abel yells, and the ferocity of his voice makes you wince as you stop in the duct you’ve been crawling through for the last mile. You’re almost to the heart of the facility. “For The 212th!”

For the 212th.

You make a mental note to add Abel to the mural of fallen that had begun construction in the gardens of the Jedi Temple several months before. You will remember his sacrifice. You will remember him when the war is over, and the clones are freed.

You and Cody will remember him together when the world won't.

Something’s you just can’t speak about

The vent drops down ten feet into a small but open control room. Once you plant the bombs, you have ten minutes to follow the marked path back to the ground floor of the foundry before you’re supposed to meet Obi-Wan and Cody on the beach.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Your hand slams against your wrist.

Detonation Initiated

TIME: 9:59

“Killshot! Viper!” You yell, saber ignited as you sprint down the hall and to the adjacent staircase that will lead you to the floor beneath you. The B1 droids on duty yelp at the sudden presence of a Jedi and snap to attention in a futile attempt to stop you with their blasters, but to no avail. “Meet me at the rendezvous!”

“Yes Commander!”

only twenty minutes to sleep, but you dream of some epiphany

You can hear screaming over your comm. Viper and Killshot are ARC Troopers, two of the best in the 212th.. there’s nothing to take them down. That’s what you’d also told yourself in regards to Abel.

“Shavit.”

just one single glimpse of relief to make some sense of what you’ve seen

This floor is alot less crowded then the others. Viper and Killshot are at the point where they agreed to meet you at the debriefing, rifle and blasters out and firing rapidly to eliminate the threat of any droids that dare come near you.

They had made a promise to their Marshal Commander to get his girl home to him. Cody might not like bearing his heart, but his vode see it every time he looks at you.. and they’re not about to deprive him a bit of happiness when the war has given them so little of it.

“Boys, on me!”

“Yes Commander!” They shout.

with you i serve, with you i fall down

A bolt grazes your shoulder. You yelp at the searing pain across your shoulder blade and whip around to give the hardest Force shove you can muster as you descend to the final floor.

Your breath catches in your throat. There’s quite a bit of droids left.

TIME: 5:10

“There she is!”

There had been no human guards in this foundry. You’d gotten in, attached the explosives, and had somehow gotten to the main floor without any kind of resistance from those within. Dooku hadn’t even left his best droids here to guard their foundry.

“BEHIND YOU!”

The dread that’s settled in your stomach blossoms when you realize that you are overrun.

“PHANTOM!”

watch you breathe in, watch you breathing out

Tears burn your eyes as your arms move on their own accord. You are desperately trying to keep your men safe. You are tired and grieving the loss of all the vode who lay outside on that beach, and the natural climate of the planet does nothing when you’re wearing plastoid armor that feels like a second skin.

with you i serve, with you i fall down

“Commander-” Viper starts, and before he can continue, a fatal shot is delivered to his chest that knocks him off his feet. Despite your exhaustion and the fact that your eyes are beginning to blur, you gently place the ARC trooper on the floor outside the door as Killshot continues to take out the activated commando droids. “Phantom-”

“You-” You grit your teeth and use The Force to lift him, oblivious to the trickle of blood that trails down your nose and drips into the sand. “Are not dying on me today, soldier! STAY ALIVE!”

Time: 1:51

“Look out!” Crys yells. Five or so of the remaining vode snap to attention - including Cody, who has been anxiously following the count down of the timer as he awaits your arrival with his men back on the beach - but he’s now distracted by the body that collapses just in front of the medics. “We need a medic over here! Viper has been hit!”

The air smells of blood and smoke.

59.. 58...

“Phantom!” That’s Boil - and Cody has no idea where the name came from, but he doesn’t exactly hate it either - yelling into his commlink from beside his Commander as Obi-Wan paces the sand. “The bombs are going to go off in 50 seconds!”

“Don’t you think I know that?!”

“GET OUT HERE! Kenobi is waiting for you!”

Mustering all the energy you have left, you raise your hands in the air and throw hundreds of droids backward into the far wall at the other end of the ground floor before you and Killshot are sprinting out into the open and down the sandbar to where Obi-Wan and Cody are waiting for you.

It hits you square in the face when you see how terrified he looks. You are still too far away for comfort, too close to the blast area, too close to danger... and seeing how many fallen vode are on that beach must make Cody believe he’s about to lose you too.

Not today.

“Are you ready, General?” Cody asks. Obi-Wan nods and braces himself against the sand, digging his toes into his boots as he relaxes his body and concentrates the best that he is able.

just one single glimpse of relief

to make some sense of what you’ve seen

10..9...8...7....

Cody holds his breath and screws his eyes shut. Please be okay. Please be okay. Please be okay.

You hold your breath and allow yourself to fall limp in the Force grip that your Master uses to haul you and Viper down the beach.

“Cody.”

Soot covered hands collide with hard white and gold plastoid. You are far enough away from the foundry not to get caught in the blast, and the minute you are safely ensconced in the arms of the Marshal Commander, Obi-Wan slams his hand against his wrist and detonates the bombs.

The world explodes in a flurry of amber against a sapphire sky. The sun is descending.

Time to go home.

***

He finds you in the quiet of his quarters. After being released from medical to ensure nothing had happened to you and checking in on Viper, you’d immediately retreated to the sanctity of Cody’s quarters that he very rarely used on The Negotiator.

The minute the door hisses shut, the weight falls on his shoulders and he shudders. It’s almost as if the world wanted to keep him feeling as light as possible before the weight of reality came back onto his shoulders.

You’d mentioned this before in a novel you’d read. Atlas.

Yeah. Marshal Commander Cody is Atlas.

“Kote,” Your voice echoes through the quarters as you stand in the thresh hold between the kitchen and the bedroom, eyes softening at his state of exhaustion as you beckon him forward. “My love, are you alright?”

He releases a shuddering breath and falls into the crook of your neck. “No,” Cody rasps, desperation creeping into his voice as he fists the material of your tunic with shaking fingers as he pulls you deeper into the curve of your body. “No. I almost lost you today.”

Capable fingers swiftly work at removing his armor. Cody doesn’t know it yet, but you have the bath running, and you intend on taking care of him. Someone has to do it.

Might as well be the person who’s in love with him.

“We destroyed the foundry.”

“Yeah? But at what cost?” He asks, and you don’t answer. You’d seen the defeat on the clones face as you and Obi-Wan had built them a pyre - a common occurrence after difficult campaigns to give the clones closure - and bid the fallen vode farewell. “We lost so many.”

“You didn’t lose me, Cody.” You whisper. “You never will.”

He shakes his head. Once, twice, three times, he doesn’t believe you-

“Phantom-”

Standing in nothing but his blacks, you use the Force to place the pieces of his armor on the sofa before you turn back to him and grip his face in your hands. Your eyes are piercing, certain in your words, your fingers gentle as you cradle him in your grasps.

“Never.” You repeat. “You will never lose me.”

It’s a declaration. One that Cody feels in the depths of his heart as he allows you to lead him into the ‘fresher. “Phantom,” His breath feels hollow in his throat as you turn to peer at him over your shoulder. “I-” The words are poised on the tip of his tongue and he has no problem saying it to the rest of his brothers.. but to you? It feels like he’s teetering on the edge of a boundary he dare not approach.

“Cody.” You breathe, taking him into your arms and guiding his hands to rest against your hips. “Look at me.” Dark eyes flutter open to meet your own as you lean in and just barely ghost his mouth with your own. Your fingers flex around the nape of his neck as you stand on the tips of your toes and open your mouth to him, sighing in relief as he blooms like the petals of a flower and opens beneath your touch.

He hears the thought ring clearly in his mind.

I love you.

And the confession makes him want to weep. You’ve known, something tells him you’ve always known, but the fact that he doesn’t have to say it yet makes relief burst in his chest. Oh... there’s just something about the certainty in knowing the person you love also loves you just as fiercely.

Cody looks at you, and he sees everything he has ever wanted since being brought into the cold sterile home of Kamino.

You. He sees you.

“Just for one night, Cody.” You ask, gently guiding him into the bathtub and reaching for the shampoo on the side of the tub. Cody subconsciously leans into your touch as you begin to lather shampoo into his hair and quietly hum as you do so. “For once.. let someone take care of you. Can you do that?”

He grips the side of the tub with lax fingers.

“Of course I can,” He hums. “I’m home.”

***

The Jedi Gardens are the most peaceful part of The Temple outside of the Room of a Thousand Fountains. You have spent much of your time there since before you were taken on as the padawan to High General Obi-Wan Kenobi, and even then, your previous Master had spent much of their time in here. It was the only place in the Temple you could find peace.

Today, you’re spending your time engrossed in the mural of The Fallen that the Council had given you permission to paint. While you spent the majority of your time nowadays on the front lines with Obi-Wan and the 212th, your hobby during R&R was painting. This mural, this memory, was to test your ability.

This was month six of working on it.

Cody is wearing his civilian clothes - a gift from you nearly a year beforehand - and has his hands tucked into his pockets upon entering the temple Gardens. The two of you had agreed to meet for dinner ala picnic style in the Temple later that day despite his reluctance to meet you there for fear of.. people. There were only two jetti he trusted.

One of them he was looking at.

Splattered in paint, hair messily tied on top of your head, he watches in awe as you finish Abel’s helmet and the blend of gold and white paint across the top before stepping back to admire the work. There’s nearly two dozen helmets painted across the rock face near the little waterfall on this side of the Temple Gardens, and Cody takes that into consideration because it’s truly a beautiful place for an eventual proposal.

Not that he’s thought about it.

“Phantom, love-” He calls out softly, lips quirking upward in the ghost of a smile as you whip around at his presence and beam. He loves that smile. “That’s coming along really well. How long have you been here?”

“Just a couple hours.” Your eyes widen in embarrassment as you realize why he’s here. “Oh no, oh no-”

He runs a palm across your hip and pulls you against his body. “You forgot,” Cody muses. “It’s okay. You usually do whenever we come home from the front, but I’m not worried about it.” He bends his head down to ghost his lips over your pulse point, nuzzling your shoulder with his neck and peppering the bare skin there with kisses. Cody’s not sure there’s a sound more beautiful then your laughter. “Not when I’ve got everything I need right here.”

He wouldn’t dare do this with his General or the vode around. This is a side of Cody only you get to see.

And little Gods.. do you adore him.

“You’re a sap.”

“One of us has to be.”

You link your fingers with his own and lead him to the beginning of the mural. “I wanted to show you this,” You murmur, taking his hand and reaching upward to graze the first word written in white calligraphy across the top of the collected helmets. “For you, my love.”

Across the top of the rock face reads,

With you I serve, with you I fall down

A memorial to our fallen vode

We will remember you

Even when the world won’t

#Commander Cody x Reader #Cody x Reader #Star Wars imagines #Star Wars oneshots

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swiftontumblin310 · 4 years ago

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I mean isn’t it true that Taylor isn’t approved yet to re record reputation just yet? That comes a little later. So then there would be five of her albums she can rerecord right now. There’s 9 weeks from now until April 9th. Do we think she might drop an album/single a week and have all her albums be released on April 9th? Just trying to figure out why folklore and evermore were completely dropped in 24 hours and we have to wait 9 weeks for Fearless?! Idk I don’t understand lol

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avintagekiss24 · 5 years ago

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Piper’s Creek [2/10]

Pairing: Sam Wilson x Bucky Barnes x Steve Rogers

Word Count: 2293

Warnings: language

Rating: M - language, mentions of masturbation

Link: AO3

Summary: Sam Wilson is a simple man. He likes to do simple things, like going fishing on a warm summer day. Little does Sam know, this fishing trip will not only lead him to his soulmate, but into a world of ancient folklore.

Square Filled: K5 - Scars for @buckybarnesbingo

A/N: Thank you guys for the comments! I’m glad you’re enjoying it so far! We get a little more interaction between Sam and Bucky in this chapter :)

If anyone does not want to be tagged anymore, just let me know! I know it’ll get annoying being tagged everyday because I went overboard and have to have this all posted by the 30th, lol. You won’t hurt my feelings, promise!

Again, the chapter title image and the portraits are by the lovely @waltermittie !! They are so prettttttyyyyyy!

Sam pushes through the trees, his eyes wide, his lips slightly parted. The sound of rushing water from the creek is in the distance, pulling Sam closer and closer toward it. It’s been weeks since he was last here, since he last saw what he saw. He tried to forget about it, to push it deep into his subconscious but every minute that passed only made him more and more curious. He couldn’t get that man out of his head.

Night after night, day after day, he replayed the scene over and over and over again. He had etched the small red star tattoo into his mind, those piercing blue eyes somehow always finding him in his dreams. He was too afraid to focus on the details, but in the darkness, every subtle memory became sharp and clear.

He’d lay awake at night, staring up at the slowly spinning fan as he remembered the water dripping from the man’s hickory colored hair. The small droplets of water slipping down his chiseled chest and to his carved abs. The muscles of his back flexing as he splashed water on himself. His ass as he ascended from the water and to the bank. Sam’s thoughts got the best of him most nights. His hand would inch down his stomach, through the rough patch of hair and wrap around his rigid erection as his eyes fluttered shut.

He squeezed his thick cock before slowly dragging his hand up and down his shaft at the thought of the wolf-man's damp, tanned skin. His stomach would tighten as he pushed his hips into his curled hand as he thought of the perfect pink lips of the stranger. Wild fantasies of that mouth and those lips wrapped around Sam’s cock would send him right over the edge. He’d cum - hard - spurting into his hand and against his cotton sheets as his memories fade away.

He was embarrassed at first, told himself he was being ridiculous, but the first chance he got - the very next day, in fact - he was stroking his cock to the naked man in the creek. He came within minutes. Every day that passed, the creek called to him. He had to see him again. He’d resisted the urge for as long as he could, but alas, here he was again, not even sure what he’d do or say if he was faced by the wolf-man again.

Sam moves through the trees and takes a breath as he comes to the bank of the rushing creek. He turns his head slowly to the left and to the right, squinting his eyes as he scans his surroundings. Good going genius, what are you supposed to do now? He checks his phone for the time, maybe the man is a creature of habit. Sam sits in the mud and pulls his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around them as his heart thumps against his rib cage.

Several minutes pass before the familiar sound of crunching leaves and snapping twigs drifts toward him. Sam sits up straighter, his lips parting as he drags in deep breaths, his eyes zeroing in on the brush just across the creek. The leaves begin to shake and move, splitting as something moves through it. A howl sounds seconds later and Sam’s heart leaps into his chest. It’s him.

A grey and white wolf emerges from behind the overgrown shrubs and trees, its head low as it pads forward. Sam’s eyes widen as he swallows the lump in his throat as he watches the beast dip his nose to the ground to sniff the wet grass and mud. It shakes it head and huffs loudly before it takes a step toward the water, finally lifting it’s head.

Sam stands slowly as he locks his vision with the haunting blue irises of the beast. It lowers its head and sounds a low growl, baring its teeth as Sam holds up his hands, “It’s okay. I’m not here to hurt you.”

The animal’s growl intensifies, a deep bark erupting from its chest as it takes a defensive stance. Sam lets out shaky breathes, his heart racing as he keeps his hands up where it can see them. All he can imagine is the thing leaping across the creek and biting his head clean off in one fell swoop. Way to go, asshole.

“I’m Sam,” he says loudly, over the rushing water, “I-I was here a few weeks ago. I s-s-s-saw you, um, turn, in the water. I was uh,” He points nervously to his right, “I was fishing here. Remember? Can you- do you remember?”

The wolf picks up its head a little, his growl dissipating to almost nothing as Sam stammers through his introduction. It sniffs the air, lifting his snout into the air before linking eyes with the terrified man again. Sam takes a small step back as the wolf steps into the water, keeping its blue eyes on him as it crosses.

“Oh, fuck,” Sam whispers to himself, swallowing hard again, “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.”

It emerges from the water seconds later, inches from Sam. It moves cautiously, sniffing the ground while keeping its eyes linked with Sam’s as it approaches. It sniffs Sam’s feet, and then up his leg slightly before taking a step back. Sam blinks, and is suddenly face to face with the long haired brunette. The man cocks his head to the side as he glances up and down Sam’s lean frame.

He sends his eyes back up to Sam’s, his lips in a hard line as his eyes move back and forth between Sam’s, “Why are you here, Sam?”

His voice is low and absent of any infliction, “I uh, I don’t really know.” Sam admits, his eyes dropping from the hard stare of the stranger, “I just can’t stop thinking about you,” he whispers.

The man quirks his lips a little, his eyebrows lifting, “I guess that’s fair. Not everyday you run across a werewolf.”

“A were- a werewolf?” Sam stutters as he blinks his eyes furiously, “You’re a werewolf?”

He nods slowly, never taking his eyes off of Sam, “I am.”

Sam nods quickly as his heartbeat pounds in his ears, “Of course.”

Silence passes between them for several minutes as each one sizes up the other. Sam’s eyes dip down the man’s impeccable body laced with rippling muscles. Up close, Sam has a better view of the various scars embedded on the man’s skin. Some large, some small, some new, some old. They tell tales of his embattled existence and his dominance out here in the wild.

There’s a long, deep slash across his lower abdomen, years old, if not decades. It’s jagged, the skin tight and raised, darker than the rest of his skin. Sam’s fingers begin to itch with the want to reach out and rub his fingertips against it. His eyes follow it until it disappears into the dark patch of hair on his lower half. Sam bites his lip as he eyes the man’s length. His mouth starts to water unconsciously, his mind starting to run wild with his fantasies again.

“See something you like, Sam?”

Sam snaps out of his daze and his mouth drops open in embarrassment. A smile tugs at the man's lips as he drags his eyes down Sam’s body once more. Sam’s dick begins to twitch against his jeans as he breathes in the natural scent of him. The man before him is both overtly and subtly sexy. His sexual prowess oozes from him, mixing with his earthy scent to make the perfect concoction of sexual attraction. Sam is putty, all he has to do is say the word.

He turns away from Sam and moves into the water, leaving Sam to ogle his toned ass as he moves. He sinks into the water, disappearing beneath it before popping back up seconds later. Water slips and slides down his pecs and shoulders, highlighting his muscles in new and provocative ways.

He glances over his shoulder toward Sam, “You coming in?”

Sam wastes zero time. As soon as the words fall from the man’s lips, Sam is kicking out of his sneakers. He pulls his shirt over his head and fumbles with his jeans, stepping out of them quickly before he moves into the water. The gold necklace around his neck glints in the sunlight as he pushes through the rough water toward the brunette man. He steps right up to him with no hesitation, standing mere inches from the smirking man.

“I’m Bucky.”

Sam’s breath hitches in his throat. His eyes widen as the name rolls off of the man's tongue, “Bucky?” Is this him?

“Mmhmm,” Bucky nods, “Bucky Barnes.”

Sam nods slowly, “Hi Bucky,” he whispers as his mind races.

Bucky pushes a breath through his nostrils as his smile widens, “Hi Sam.”

Bucky reaches for Sam’s hand, bringing it out of the water and flattening his palm to his, before intertwining their fingers, “I think we both know why you’re out here,” he whispers.

Sam swallows as he as his eyes wander over Bucky. He watches as Bucky turns his hand over in his and rubs his thumb over the imprinted name. It’s been there for years. Sam still remembers it like it was yesterday. Just as the clock struck 12:01am on his eighteenth birthday, the name Bucky appeared on his skin.

Bucky’s eyes are soft as he brings them back up to meet Sam’s. He smiles slowly, bringing his hand to Sam’s cheek. He rubs his smooth skin with his thumb, tilting his head as his eyes move around Sam’s face, “You’re beautiful,” he whispers.

“So are you,” Sam responds, his voice airy and shaky.

Bucky’s smile widens into a toothy grin and Sam loses his breath almost completely at the sheer beauty of it. This is it. This is him. Bucky lifts his other hand to Sam’s face and pulls him closer, so close that Sam can feel Bucky’s stubble on his cheek. Sam drops his head as tears start to well in his eyes. Bucky drops his warm lips to Sam’s forehead, closing his eyes as he places a kiss on his skin. He drops another right between his eyes, another on the bridge of his nose, and yet another on the corner of Sam’s mouth.

Sam wraps his arms around Bucky’s waist as he rests his chin on his shoulder. Bucky hums happily as he rests his hand on Sam’s head, rubbing softly and gently. Sam’s fingers push along the large scar across Bucky’s side and stomach, the skin around it raised but smooth from the years of healing. He loves the scar already. It makes Bucky absolutely perfect.

Sam lifts his head, leaning back to connect his eyes with Bucky’s once more. His fingers continue to brush over the old scar as he etches the feeling of it into his brain. He drops his eyes back to Bucky’s exposed chest, lifting his finger to trace a smaller, lighter scar at his collarbone. Bucky continues to smile softly as Sam’s hands explore his body, tracing his scars, old and new.

This is it. This is what he’s waited for his whole life. His heart thumbs against his chest and in his ears. His mind races as lust pulses through his body. Bucky’s scent, his body, his natural sexual presence, his allure; it all works together, intoxicating Sam to the point where he’s physically dizzy.

“What happened here?” Sam asks quietly as he presses his palm to the large, jagged scar. His favorite scar.

Bucky chuckles a little, “Hunting knife.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah. I almost became somebody’s taxidermy project.”

Sam snaps his eyes back to Bucky’s. His breath becomes choppy and fast as his chest fills with anxiety. Flashes of Bucky changing in front of him flood his brain. Sam shifts his gaze to the water as fear starts to wash over him. He watched him change. From wolf to man, he watched this person change.

This can’t be right. This isn’t some horror movie. This is Sam’s life. For years, he had waited for this. Sixteen years of stumbling through life, working his way through every Bucky he came across in the state of Washington. Sixteen years of broken hearts, countless tears, and longing. Sixteen, long, hard years, and here he is, standing in a creek with this… thing. This can’t be right.

Sam snatches his hand back as fear starts to wash over him. He takes a step back, his eyes wide, his body shaky. He shakes his head slowly, “No, this isn’t-”

“Sam.” Bucky says calmly, reaching out for him, “Sam, it’s okay. Just breathe.”

“No. I’m sorry, this isn’t- this isn’t right. I can’t, this-”

“Sam. It’s okay, it’s okay.” Bucky pleads, “Come here, baby.”

Sam takes another step back, slipping on the slippery rocks and falling into the water. He scrambles to his feet as Bucky tries to help and rushes toward the bank. He grabs his clothes and shoes from the grass and takes off back toward his car, Bucky’s voice becoming distant as he calls out. Tears stream down his face as he runs, ducking and dodging tree limbs as he pushes his way through the brush.

Bucky stares down in the water, chewing on his bottom lip as he hears a rustling behind him. He doesn’t move, immediately recognizing the smell of the approaching figure as it wafts toward him.

“Babe? You okay? I heard screaming.”

Bucky nods slowly, glancing over his shoulder at the man emerging from the trees, “I found him, Steve.” He turns over his wrist, studying the two names imprinted on his skin, “I found my Sam.”

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n0velust · 4 years ago

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2007

When I received the message from a stranger on Myspace, I assumed I was being punk’d.

I heard you get sleep paralysis. So do I. Can we talk about it?

The account that sent the message supposedly belonged to a girl named Rose, but her profile was sketchy. She only had one friend. There were only two photos of her, good quality, not your basic selfies, although they weren’t professional either.

She was a blonde with bangs, her hair cut just above her shoulders. Her eyes were bright and the color of sea foam. There was an angelic quality to her. This was not the first time I had seen her face before, I was sure of that, but I couldn’t place where I reconized her from. It bothered me. Not that I believed the girl in the pictures was the one who actually sent me the message. Someone was messing with me. Someone who wanted me to reveal my weaknesses so they could use them against me.

I had only spoken of my sleep paralysis once in a public setting- a group counseling session all the way back in middle school. Sara, this redhead whom I had my eye on since the moment I first saw her, mentioned having it first in this session. We talked back and forth about it for a minute before our councilor called the meeting back into order. Sara had wanted to know more about my episodes. We met up one day, but she didn’t like that I believed sleep paralysis was a mere medical condition as opposed to a supernatural phenomenon. She committed suicide just a few months after that.

I knew better than to give this troll the time of day, but it was a lonely summer night. Besides, my curiosity had been piqued.

Cute pix but they ain’t urs, I wrote back. Maybe next time add more friends and write an About Me, so it doesn’t look like you just created the account two minutes ago.

She replied in a matter of minutes. Aww you think I’m cute?? (: lol it’s a new profile. I can send you another pic if you want.

Alright but draw a dick on your forehead so I know it’s really you, I typed back with a smug grin on my face. Checkmate. Since they wanted to act like a dickhead.

I got up and searched my dark room, my computer screen being my only source of light, for my bottle of vodka. I usually put it somewhere inconspicuous in case my cousin, Jessica, or Aunt Marilyn barged in on me. It’s neck was sticking out from under my pillow. I took several long gulps that warmed my stomach.

I didn’t expect a reply from that account but when I looked back to the screen, endorphins kicked in when I saw the one new message notification. No way. Bad Photoshop?

A grainy picture probably taken a flip phone, but it was her. She held her hair back out of her face, on her forehead she dawned the crudely drawn penis. A goofy smile.

Can we talk now? she asked in a separate message. I’d like this to be interview style. Can I call you to save us both time?

Out of pure boredom, I sent her my number. A few short seconds later, my phone rang. We got past awkward introductions.

“You do look familiar,” I admitted. “Do you go to Apponequet?”

“No, I go to Bishop Stang.”

“A Catholic school girl, huh?”

“I have come into your job at Burger Daze, maybe that’s why you recognize me. That’s where I overheard some kids talking about you and the fact that you had sleep paralysis.”

“Who?”

“I didn’t ask them their names. I just eavesdropped on their conversation,” she giggled. “To be clear, I know who you are. Not just from seeing you at your job. You’re practically famous!”

Famous people have fans, I didn’t even have friends. The main reason having to do with my local legend status in the small community of Freetown, Massachusetts. When you witness your father’s murder as a child, then go missing in the state forest for a week, and the media outlets paste your photo all over town, people rarely forget.

“Maybe I’ll give you an autograph sometimes,” I replied dryly.

“A piece of paper with your handwriting on it? That’d be great. I could use it to cast a love spell on you,” she said with a smile in her voice.

“Look, is this supposed to be a joke or-“ My amusement was wearing thin.

“No joke, Raiden. When I heard those people talking about you, I couldn’t believe it. I haven’t met another living person who’s had sleep paralysis. And for me it’s been especially bad lately so I took it as a sign that I must reach out to you.”

“Well now you have, so what do you want?”

“Tell me, do you hallucinate during?”

“Most people do. Your body puts itself in a state of paralysis, so you don’t act out your dreams. The hallucinations occur because your mind is still in a dream state.”

“Thanks for educating me on the subject as if I haven’t already extensively researched it myself. I’ll take that as a ‘yes’ then?”

“Yes.”

“And what sorts of things do you see?”

“People who suffer from sleep paralysis tend to see the same things, shadow people and such. Which makes sense because the room is dark and there are a lot of shadows.”

I was so used to only talking about this with therapists that I couldn’t help but parrot the things they told me.

“What about the old hag though? Lots of people report seeing the detailed image of an old woman, usually wearing a veil, who sits on their chests. She’s not a shadow. Explain why that’s common sighting.”

I paced the room, thinking of an explanation but fell short.

“Have you seen the old hag?” I reflected her question back.

“I asked you what you saw first.”

“Yes, it’s one of the worst apparitions. She starts off as a beautiful woman and then morphs. Total succubus situation, it’s awful.”

“Sounds like the scene in The Shining. That part really freaked me out as a kid.”

“I haven’t seen it.” Or any horror movie for that matter.

“The original is better than the remake although Stephen King wouldn’t agree- anyway so, shadow people, the old hag, anything else?"

I hesitated, stumbling over my words. There was something else. Something Sara mentioned seeing too. Something that she claimed the more energy you gave to, the more powerful it got.

“I’ve seen something coming out of the wall. It’s like it comes from another dimension,” Rose went on, since I was at a loss for words. “It’s three dimensional too, not like a shadow. Unlike the other sleep paralysis villains, it can physically touch. It puts its hand over my head. Local indigenous tribes have something similar in their folklore, expect it comes out of trees instead of walls. They call it a Wuagamortchi. Have you ever seen it or heard of it?”

My throat ran dry, so I went back to my bottle and took another drink. There’s no way she could be messing with me. I’ve only spoken of this particular entity to Sara and one of my psychologists. Sara named this entity ‘Wally”. As a kid, I called it the Gatekeeper.

“Yes,” I admitted. “I’ve seen it since I was a kid.”

“Can you describe your experiences?” Rose asked. Her voice was too cheery for the conversation we were having.

“No. I’d rather not. Sorry, I’m kind of freaking out right now. You’re not the first person to come into my life asking me about this shit. This girl I used to know, Sara, she saw the wog-thing, whatever you called it, too.”

“Really?” Rose asked enthusiastically. “Do you have Sara’s number? I’d love to talk to her too.”

“She committed suicide, about four years ago. I felt…guilty about it. You’re reminding me for her right now. That’s why my mind is a mess.”

“Why do you feel guilty?”

“Because she came to me for help so she would feel less alone. Her view on it was even darker than yours. She thought that actual demons were after her, that they wanted to make her hurt herself and other people. I dismissed her after she said all that, told her it was in her head. The ultimate betrayal, in her eyes, was when I told her boyfriend, James, that she needed help. She never spoke to me again. Her paranoia was what led her to take her life.”

“I mean, you reached out to her boyfriend about your concerns. It sounds to me like you did try to help her.”

I shook my head. “I could have done more for her. I could have been more empathetic.”

“I get it.” Finally her voice had some emotion behind it. Before she sounded like some robotic customer service representative. “My mother committed suicide and I feel like I should have done things differently too. The shrink I see says I shouldn’t blame myself but it’s hard not to.” Rose let out a sigh and pulled herself back together. “How often do you experience SP?”

It took me a moment to follow her train of thought. She dropped a bomb on me and then swept right passed it.

“A few times a week lately. I’ll go months without an episode, then it will become more frequent for a while. It has to do with stress,” I told her.

“Have you found anything that helps to reduce episodes?”

“Drinking.” I held my bottle up in a cheers to myself. I sat on my bed, leaning up against the wall with a pillow behind me.

“Alcohol? Does that really help?”

“No, not really. I wouldn’t recommend it. It helped at first but now it just makes me not care as much that it’s happening.”

“Hmm. I smoke weed at night for the same reason.” She paused for a moment, “have you ever smoked before?”

“Once.” With Sara. God, everything that came out of this girl’s mouth reminded me of Sara.

We stayed up talking for hours after that, getting to know each other. Rose told me that she had recently found her mother’s diary, where she described her own instances of sleep paralysis. While Rose did believe it was paranormal and I didn’t, we came to the agreement that there was a link between sleep paralysis and mental health issues- depression, anxiety, PTSD. It all went hand in hand.

I listened to Rose talk about her out of body experiences, how she had been training herself to detach her soul from her body during sleep paralysis and shoot energy balls as her interdimensional intruders. She told me about how her and her mother to share the same dreams and that she would astral project to the astral plane, hoping to find he mother there so she could say goodbye one last time. She said she wanted me to astral project with her, so we could be together, but I said I’d rather just take her out on a date. Her ramblings were nonsensical, yet she spoke them with such conviction that I wanted to believe.

Rose said that since it was summer she had been waiting until sunrise to let herself sleep. We stayed up until then talking. When we finally did go to sleep we left our phones beside us on speaker, so if something did happen to one or both of us, the other person would be on the line. It was the first night in weeks I had slept without having a nightmare or an episode of sleep paralysis.

We texted each other all that next day, then at night we spoke on the phone for hours on end. This went on for a few days. By the end of the first night, I was already hounding her about meeting up. she invited me to meet her at this house party she was attending on Friday night.

Thanks to our late-night chats, not only was I sleeping better but I had also stopped drinking. I wanted to be coherent in our conversations. I wanted her to think that I was smart and funny, not some loser teenage alcoholic. But- before going to meet her at this party in Fall River, a half an hour drive away, I did have a little liquid courage to calm my nerves.

When I pulled up to the house and parked along the street, she was out on the driveway waiting for me. She wore cut-off shorts and a black crop top, and a light jacket over it, despite it being the middle of July and eighty degrees outside. Over her shoulders, she wore a mini black backpack.

Despite her heavy make-up, she was still gorgeous. Even more so in person. Slim build but great legs. Her friend Genesis was starting next to her, holding her hand. Genesis taller than Rose but not my much. Her hair was clearly bleached blonde and fell in tight, corkscrew curls. She was dressed in a similar outfit. They were staring at my car and whispering among themselves. When I got out, Rose let out a squeal that I could hear from all the way over where I was standing.

Rose looked terrified, her eyes as wide as saucers. She had never even had a first kiss before and while I wanted to rush over and give that to her, what I wanted more was for her to feel comfortable.

“Hi Raiden,” Genesis called on Rose’s behalf as I approached them.

“That’s Genna,” Rose said, still clutching her friend’s hand. I could barely hear her.

“I know. I recognize her as your only Myspace friend.”

When I got up to them, it struck me how much I towered over them. A though occurred, what if she’s lying about her age? But I pushed it back to the far corners of my mind. Rose told me she was fifteen, sixteen on November 27th. My birthday was exactly a month after hers, I’d be turning eighteen. Our age difference wasn’t too bad. She had mentioned on the phone that she was petite.

Genna pealed Rose’s hand off of hers and shoved her in my direction before turning her back and walking away. Rose watched her friend go before turning to me. I stood still like I was offering food to a timid deer. Where was the bold girl whom I had spoken to over the phone?

Suddenly she was running towards me. She leapt up and I caught her in my arms. She wrapped her legs around my waist and initiated the first kiss. I let her have a little peck then tilted my head back farther. She groaned, her fingernails pricking the back of my neck. Our noses brushed before we kissed again. I melted into it.

I put her back down and we looked each other over.

“I’ve never been to a house party before,” I said, to break the ice.

“I don’t really like these types of parties,” she confessed.

“Why are we here then?”

“It just so happens that this party is only a couple blocks away from where a dear old friend of mine lives. I couldn’t miss the opportunity to pay him a visit.”

Him? Confusion, jealousy, rage bubbled up in my chest.

“You can come with me,” she clarified. “I want you to.” She batted her eyelashes at me and held her hand out for me to take but I wasn’t so sure I wanted to.

“Who’s your friend?” I asked, looking down at her with narrowed eyes.

“Andrew. You probably know him since you went to Freetown Lakeville Middle. Andrew Arslanian.”

I stared at her in disbelief. “Mr. Arslanian? The fucking science teacher?”

She giggled at my surprise. “That’s the one. Part science teacher, part pervert. He stays busy.”

“How do you know that? Did he hurt you? What are you going to do to him?” So many questions and finding the answers wouldn’t make me feel any better.

“No. Not me,” Rose chuckled ironically. “This girl, Danielle. They had an affair. She was too young to know what she was getting into-“

Two girls stumbled out of the party, leaving the door wide open. The music was playing so loud that I could feel the bass in my bones.

Rose lowered her voice, “he knocked her up, then tried to throw money at her and threaten her into having an abortion until she moved away. Dani and I aren’t even friends anymore but that’s a whole ‘nother story. This was all long time ago.”

“Why wait til now to go after Mr. Arslanian? What are you going to do to him?”

“Chill. I’m not going to burn his house done or anything.” She took off her tiny backpack and unzipped it to allow me a peek inside. A single can of red spray paint and a wallet.

“And honestly, I haven’t thought of him in a long time but since I’m in the neighborhood…” She cocked her head and smiled at me, batting her eyelashes persuasively.

“How do you even know his address?”

“The internet.” She shrugged.

“I just-“ I didn’t want to come off like a buzzkill or an asshole. “I came all this way to hang out with you not to vandalize my eighth-grade teacher’s house.”

Her cheeks blushed. “I want to hang out with you too. This won’t take long, and you can pick what we do next.”

“I guess I’m in then,” I said with a scoff and an eyeroll.

She jumped for joy and let out a big, “Yesss!”

“But next time, tell me ahead of time when you have a crazy idea like this.”

“For sure I will.” She took my hands, intertwined her fingers in mine and started leading me down the sidewalk. “I’m so glad you agreed to join me because the Lucy I took should kick in soon an-“

I stopped dead in my tracks, bringing her to an abrupt halt as well. “What?!”

“Lucy. It’s slang for-“

“LSD,” I finished for her.

“It’s probably best that someone will be looking after me when it kicks in.”

I looked at her, then back to my car, and really contemplated leaving. Rose had told me about her experiences with various drugs, Xanax, coke, and of course weed. Genesis brought her into this world and Rose liked to experiment.

“I saved a stamp for you.” She looked up at me with angel eyes.

I knew a time would come when I’d be offered something questionable. Under different circumstances, I’d be more inclined to want to try LSD but not at a damn party. Not when we both have a history of mental illness. It seemed like an awful idea. I wasn’t about to explain that to her because I didn’t want her thinking I was a loser.

I liked her. A lot. There had other women, I was no virgin, but I had never had a serious relationship before. No one’s mind enticed me as much as Rose’s. I had never shared a connection like this with anybody. No one’s eyes had ever hypnotized me in such a way that my brain shut off entirely. I couldn’t blow this so soon, so I forced a smile over my haunted expression.

“Let me give you some money for mine at least.”

“No, it’s okay. Genna and her boyfriend TJ just gave them to me.” She fumbled in her purse and took out her wallet, out of her billfold, she handed me a stamp. Not the postage kind.

“Don’t chew it or swallow it, just leave it on your tongue for a while.” She held out her finger with the tiny white square on top and I took it and did as instructed.

“It’s my first time taking acid too so this should be interesting.” She giggled.

“How long ago did you take yours?” I asked, trying to judge how long I’d have until it set in.

“Right before you got here,” she replied. “TJ said it’d take about fifteen minutes to half an hour before I felt anything. He’s a total douche but at least he’s good for party favors.”

We locked hands again. My hands were so much bigger than hers and she had to hold hers above her waist to align it with my own.

“Why don’t you like TJ?”

“He’s a pedo too. Dude’s twenty years old. He has no business hanging out with girls as young as me and Genna.”

“Why don’t you tell your friend that?”

“She knows how old he is. She doesn’t care. Just thinks he’s with her because she’s so mature. Trust me, if I told her what I really thought about him, she’d choose him over me. Love makes people stupid and blind.”

I could see that now…

“Girls get obsessed with these random ass guys that come into their lives. No depth or anything unique about them. That’s why I never bothered dating. I never met anyone who truly compelled me.” She squeezed my hand. “Until now.”

“I must really like you because I can’t say no to you.” I grinned at her.

She lit up when I said that. There was no point in either of us trying to play it cool. No way she could have hidden that ear to ear smile. Under the streetlamps, I spotted freckles on her cheekbones, the bridge of her nose, underneath all that make-up. Such a shame that she covered them up.

“Are you a natural blonde?” I asked.

“Yeah but my natural color is a little darker than it is now.”

I kept looking at her. Her familiarity drove me nuts, like when a word is on the tip of your tongue, but you can’t quite remember what it is.

“It’s weird that I have no memory of interacting with you when you were a customer at my work.”

“You see a lot of customers come through there every day.”

“Yeah but I remember the pretty ones. And I’d definitely remember your face. Especially since you said you come in there a lot.”

“You were the main reason I was coming in there for a while. Just because I thought you were so handsome.” She laughed at herself. I could feel her hand shaking in mine. It was a little sweaty too.

“Are you serious? That’s…slightly creepy but also flattering. Does that mean you have ulterior motives when you friended me on Myspace?”

“I saw that as my way in, yes. When I heard those kids talking about you having sleep paralysis, I took it as a sign that we were meant to get to know each other.”

“When you first invited me to this party, I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to come. I’m really glad we’re hanging out, just you and me. Parties aren’t really my thing.”

“Me either. I have social anxiety. I’m more comfortable with a small group of people. Or with just you.” She led us across the street, onto a different road.

“You’re pretty social though. You’re more outgoing than me.”

“It’s all an act, I’m actually pretty shy.”

“You don’t seem very shy to me.”

“Really. For as long as I can remember, I’ve always felt like something was wrong with me. Something that everyone else can see too. I became really withdrawn so obviously, it was always hard for me to make friends. But then I learned this thing from Dexter, have you seen that show? Or read the books?”

“Dexter’s Laboratory?”

“No!” Rose laughed. “Dexter the serial killer. He only kills bad guys. Anyway, he talks about having to wear this mask to blend in with the rest of society because duh he’s a killer and he works around a bunch of cops but I kind of took that concept and applied it to my own life. Did you know that Paris Hilton is actually smart? She just plays a character to mask her true self?”

“I have no idea,” I replied.

“That’s what I do. I play a character. I say and do crazy things because….people think of me as one thing and my true self hides behind that persona. I pretend my life is a realty show, and I do whatever I want. I know that all sounds weird. I’ve always been real with you though.”

“I get where you’re coming from. Blend in with the normies so they don’t question you too much.”

“Right because when you’re quiet, people can fill your silence with whatever they want.” Her words hung in the air, echoing on a loop in my mind.

She pulled her hand from mine and I worried she was suddenly upset with me. She took off her backpack and dropped it on the ground. I picked it up and held it for her.

“It’s so hot,” she said as she took her jacket off.

Before I could open my mouth to ask her why she was even wearing it, I saw the angry, red welts on the pale skin of her freckled bicep. Four of them at least, but there were more that looked faded.

“What are those?” I asked, running my index finger over them raised scars.

“Oh, right. That’s why I was wearing the jacket,” Rose said, more to herself than to me. She sighed as she shoved her arms back into it.

“You don’t have to cover them up but what happened to you?” I pulled her jacket back off to get another look at them. “Are they cigarette burns? Who’s hurting you?”

Rose chuckled at me. “It was just me, don’t worry.”

“I am worried though. Why would you do that to yourself?”

“I get overwhelmed sometimes, and it helps to ground me. Don’t judge.”

“It’s not exactly a healthy coping mechanism.”

“Neither is your drinking,” she shot back. Her eyes were narrowed but she wore a ‘gotcha’ smile. “You don’t want to be like my dad, unable to hold down a job. He tells us he quit, he’s gonna sober up, but he just tries to hide it. He never knows what’s going on, it’s really embarrassing.” Her voice was louder and more emotional than usual.

“You’re right. I know. What I do is another form of self-harm. I’ll make you a deal though, I stop drinking and you stop burring yourself, okay?”

“What about a wager?” she asked with a grin. She pondered the terms of the wager for a moment. “Whoever loses has to give the other person oral sex.”

Laughter boomed from my chest. “No, that’s fucked up. I don’t want to benefit from you hurting yourself. Besides, if we did that, I’d just go back to the party and have a drink.”

We shared a laugh at that.

“I rather just make it a pact,” I went on. “If you feel the urge, just reach out to me and talk to me about it – or your friend Genesis. And I’ll do the same, okay?” I extended my arm for a handshake.

“Deal,” she said, taking my hand. I pulled her in for a hug, our lips found each other’s, and we kissed softly but hungrily. Euphoria pulsed through my veins. She pulled away too soon.

“Let’s just this over with, before I start tripping.”

She led the way through the neighborhood, knowing exactly where she was going. We walked at a quick pace until we came upon a two-story yellow painted home.

3342 Snyder Lane.

She took out the spray paint can and shook it, I worried about the noises. There was no car out front in the driveway but there was always a two-car garage, so it was hard to tell if anyone was home.

Wind blew in through the trees overhead. Rose looked up at the swaying branches in awe. She waved back to them.

“Rose! Hurry it up,” I urged her in a whisper.

She looked to me, confused, and then down at the spray paint can in her hand. Dropping to her knees, she was mesmerized by the paint exiting the can. “I’m creating universes,” she told herself.

She put her other hand into the stream of paint.

“Stop,” I said. “You don’t want to get caught red handed, do you?”

She looked up at me and then down at her red palm, laughing at my pun. I took the spray can away from her and told her I’d do it.

Ask me about Danielle, I wrote on the driveway in messy print. Underneath that, I added, I’m a pedo, to make our accusations clear.

I looked up for Rose and nearly had a heart attack when I saw her peeking in through the first story window. I ran up behind her but then froze.

There was sheer, red, fabric over the window but we could still see what was going on in the house. People, maybe ten of them, all wearing plain black masks but with a red upside-down triangle drawn over the forehead. They were dancing around. In the center of their circle was a man tied to a chair. He was slouched over, still, eyes open and unblinking. They were taking turns stabbing his already dead body.

“Get away from there,” I said, a little too loud. Because one of them stopped in their tracks and looked out through the window, right at us. This person’s sudden stop in rotation caused the others to bump into them.

Without thinking, I picked Rose up and threw over my shoulder. I ran out of there like a bat out of hell. Her backpack clapped against her with every step. The adrenaline must have given me extra strength because I ran like that with her on my back for blocks and blocks, until, I couldn’t take it anymore. I set her on the ground, and we ran together hand in hand for what felt like an eternity. All I knew was the run. A running being was my identity. I couldn’t think of anything else. I can’t tell you how long we ran or how far we got. Rose led us and not in a straight direction, to confuse whoever might have been following us. We went through people’s backyards, up and over fences. Repeatedly.

I could have kept going but Rose was out of breath and collapsed herself onto someone’s yard. She repeated, “I can’t do it anymore, I can’t do it.”

“Did you see what I saw?” I asked, my hands rested on my knees as I gasped for air. When I closed my eyes, I saw geometric shapes breathing. Circles morphing into triangles, then into diamonds, then into hexagons.

“They were killing him,” Rose said in a weak voice, burying her face in the grass.

“He was already dead.”

My voice didn’t sound like my own. I felt like we were in virtual reality, like I was at home playing video games and none of this was even real. “They saw us. We need to keep moving.” I reached my hand down to help her up.

“I can’t run anymore. I always knew if I was in a horror movie, that I wouldn’t survive the run. Go on without me. Save yourself.”

“It’s my responsibility to protect you,” I replied. “You’re my girlfriend.”

I was just as surprised of those words coming out of my mouth as she was. She smiled and it was like everything was okay. For a second there, time stood still, and I felt perfectly sober. But then everything got wavy again.

She allowed me to help her to her feet. “I’m your girlfriend?”

“Why else would I be going through all this shit for you? Now c’mon. We can walk but we have to move forward.”

“I don’t know how to get home.”

I looked around my surroundings, only now realizing that we were utterly lost. “You mean back to the party?”

“Oh, right. I forgot about that stupid party.”

“Did you want me to take you home? Because I would.”

“No way. I couldn’t bear to see my mother right now.” I just looked at her. Her mother was dead, but it probably wasn’t the best moment to remind her of that.

I tried to remember the route we took to get to where we were. If I could remember where Mr. Arslanian lived, maybe I could get us back to the party. What I needed was a weapon though, to make sure that we got back safely.

The best I could find in the moment was a large stick. I picked it up and held it over my shoulder. “This way,” I told Rose, leading her in the direction that felt right.

The threat might have been gone but my paranoia remained. All the houses looked the same. We were in an endless labyrinth. I tried to have a conversation with Rose while we walked, to add some normalcy to the evening. My mind would loop, and then I’d completely forget what I was thinking about. I’d forget what I was saying, midsentence. My words came out a mush. We didn’t see any people outside or even cars driving by and that had me feeling like I was in a post-apocalyptic wasteland. Soon the zombies would come.

Things got weirder when I had the sudden sensation that I was actually my father and I was lost in the void between Earth and the afterlife. I was his ghost, trying to escape from some evil force that beckoned to me. My breath hitched. I could feel my insides vibrating. Everything was vibrating. I sat down in the grass, hoping that the feeling would pass.

“Are you okay?” Rose asked, the first time she had spoken in a while.

“I’m going to a bad place.” I covered my face with my hands in shame.

“You don’t have to,” she told me. “Genna warned me about bad trips. She told me that if you think bad thoughts, of course you’ll have a bad trip. But you can have a good time too, it’s all in how you approach it. You’re thinking too much,” she said. I couldn’t fathom how she could say so many words.

“Just lie back and enjoy the ride.”

What a concept. All my life, I’ve never been able to do just that.

It was a clear night and the stars were visible. For a moment it felt like I was the pilot of a spaceship. Then after staring at them for too long, they didn’t even look real anymore. A hologram. I broke the celestial trance and shifted my gaze over to her. The most beautiful being I had ever laid eyes on, she made this all worth it.

Feeling my stare Rose looked over at me, brushing her fingers over my face. “This is all worth it because we’re together.”

“I was just thinking that exact same thing,” I said, finally finding my words. “You read my mind.”

She rolled over on her side and I did the same. We were almost nose to nose.

“Remember what I told you on the phone? If we practice reading each other’s minds, soon we'll be able to dream share.”

I thought of the game she taught me to play over the phone. One person clears their mind and closes their eyes, holding a picture of the other person in their mind. The other person focuses on sending a mental transmission, through a beam of light from their forehead, the other person. I wasn’t very good at the game.

“What am I thinking?” she asked. “The category is fruit.”

I did as instructed and waited to receive her transmission. “Grapes,” I said as the image suddenly popped up in my mind.

“What kind of grapes?”

My eyes tried to flutter open, but I forced them shut. “Was I right? They’re green.” The picture was so clear, I could almost taste them. I looked at her for conformation.

She nodded and smiled. “Yes, green grapes.. The acid must be helping us connect.”

“I’ll try to send one to you,” I said. “It’s a shape and a color.”

We both laid back in the grass. I closed my eyes, held her in my mind. The light stemming from my forehead was so bright it was like I could really see it.

“Blue, a circle- no wait now it’s a triangle.” She opened her eyes and asked if she was right.

I nodded and told her to close her eyes again. “I’ll send you a number now.”

“Twenty-seven,” she said, in no time at all. “I can see it clear as day. And the numbers are in white bubble lettering with yellow polka-dots.” I was in awe, unable to speak. Good thing that I didn’t need to anymore.

“It’s the date of both or birthdays,” she went on.

“That’s why I was thinking of it. You also mentioned on the phone that you liked that number.”

“Wow,” Rose said. “I can’t believe we mastered teleportation.” We both laughed as she realized she said the wrong word.

“Telepathy,” I corrected. “I think we’d need a little more acid for teleportation.”

Music started playing out of nowhere. It was really creepy until we realized it was coming from Rose’s phone. I had completely forgotten we carried such devices.

“Whoa, the screen is all over the place,” Rose said before answering.

“I just wanted to check in,” I heard Genesis say. “Where are you guys?”

“We’re lost,” Rose replied.

There was a male’s voice in the background. Genesis had us walk to a street corner and tell her the names of the roads on the intersection we were on. It was hard to read the sign. The letter flew off and were carried away by the wind. After discussion with the other person she was with, Genesis told us to stay where we were and that she’d come find us.

I told Rose that it might be dangerous for Genesis to be walking the streets by herself. The masked ones who had engaged in the ritual could still be looking for us. Rose tried to tell Genesis about Mr. Arslanian and what we saw through his window, but Genesis just started laughing.

“You can tell it’s their first time tripping,” she said to someone else. “TJ’s coming with me. We’re on our way. Just sit tight,” Genesis told Rose before hanging up.

When we saw two figures approaching us, walking in the middle of the road, Rose jumped up and down with excitement. “They found us! We’re saved.”

She took off running towards her friend. I was shocked when both girls lifted up their shirts, revealing their bras underneath. They howled when they bumped their chests together.

Genesis’ boyfriend must have noticed my expression because he explained that was like their secret handshake. He introduced himself as TJ, while the girls were jumping all over each other. He looked like how I imagined he would, old as hell. He had long greasy hair, with a black cap over his head. A full beard, I must have looked like a child next to him. He wore a white t-shirt with holes in it and jeans that hung down below the waist. I didn’t like him. He instantly gave me bad vibes. I would have rather been lost with Rose forever.

As we walked back to the party, which apparently we were only a couple of blocks away from, the girls walked together ahead of us, chatting gleefully back and forth. Rose was telling Genesis that I was her boyfriend and Genesis was really excited about the whole thing.

TJ pulled me back to slow our pace, he grabbed my roughly. “You be good to our Rosie.” That instantly pissed me off. Rose was not his. “She’s a wild one. No experience but she’s ready to learn to fuck.” I was ready to kick this fucker’s ass.

“I coulda had her but she didn’t like the idea of a three-way relationship. She thought Genna would be mad at her but Genna said she woulda been cool with it.”

If Mr. A and his friends needed another sacrifice, I had just the guy for them.

“I never met two girls with such dirty minds,” he had the audacity to continue. “You’ll have fun wit her, I bet. But yo, if you’re gonna stick it to ‘er, don’t go ghost after tonight. That would make her sad. Which would make Genesis sad. Which would fuck wit my own life, ya feel me?”

“I don’t plan on ghosting her and I don’t plan on sleeping with her tonight either. I like her. I’m not trying to rush anything. I want to see where it goes.”

“Bro sex on acid is fucking magical. You should try it sometime. Are you having a good trip?”

“I’d be enjoying it more if I didn’t just see my old science teacher having a satanic ritual.”

He laughed at me, “You’re funny, man.”

We could hear the music from down the street and started to run towards it, grateful to be freed from the maze. Back at the party, my mood did a three-sixty. Genesis and TJ shared a joint with us, which put me on another level for sure, but the euphoria was back. Genesis kept taking pictures. Rose and I even danced. Our bodies moving to the music without having to think twice about it. After working up a sweat, we went to the refreshment table and drank some water.

“They’re so many of them! They’re multiplying,” Rose said, mesmerized by a tray of cupcakes. “Why’s no one eating them? I don’t want to be the only one who eats one. What’s wrong with these people?”

I encouraged her to just take one and she looked at me, her eyes mischievous.

“I have a better idea,” she grinned. “Carry the tray upstairs for me, I’m scared I’d drop it.”

“What do you want to do with them?” I asked.

“We could put the frosting on each other’s bodies and lick it off.” She didn’t have to tell me twice, I grabbed the tray and we headed to the second floor.

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