#then all of a sudden something clicks and it's like. oh this is what 90's trek fucking wished it could be

[mitochondriaandbunnies]

A season 1 episode of Babylon 5 is playing on one of those random free "live TV" streaming channels and despite having seen it before and coming in halfway through I'm transfixed

Such a good fucking show

[local-cry-baby]

It's A Promise (Barry x Reader)

so sinnoh remakes (and premakes?!) has been confirmed and of course the first thing I had to do was write a short fic on one of my favorite rival of all time

Sorry but I had to ten year old me had a massive crush on this character lol

writing; short story

word count; 2781

genre; friendship & hurt/comfort (very subtle romance)

reader; gender neutral

au; takes place after the events of DPPt (also Barry has freckles if that counts)

summary; your plans for summer has been hijacked by a certain hyperactive boy

Image

Half asleep you heard the Starlys chirp and trill and the Kricketots chime in harmony with one another, announcing the arrival of morning. You shifted slightly in bed, pulling the covers closer to you and yawned. The best feeling in the world you believe was hearing the sound of the world rousing to the start of a new day and knowing you didn't have to wake up along with it. With a content sigh you roll on your side, slowly drifting off to sleep...

Tap! Tap! Tap!

You furrow your brows slightly at the sound but quickly relaxed, smiling softly to yourself...

TAP! TAP! TAP!

You assume it was just a Starly or two messing outside your window so you chose to ignore it, opting to pull the covers over your head. You sighed again, this time in annoyance, as you try to fall asleep...

Click! Scree!

"Psst! (Y/N), are you sleeping?"

Your eyes open in disbelief as you immediately recognize the voice and just process the fact that he happen to somehow open your bedroom window to ask the obvious. 'Say it ain't so.’ You turned to face your window to see Barry there, arms resting on top of the sill as he watched you with a curious expression which was soon beaming with excitement once he saw you. "Oh good, you're awake!" Like you weren't sleeping to begin with.

"Wha? Barry what are you doing here?" You asked groggily. "Aren't you suppose to be at Pastoria City with Wake?"

"It's summer, duh! Crasher Wake gave me the week off and since your school is closed for vacation I thought it was perfect to catch up and hang out together this week!" Barry had this lively vibe around him that practically made him glow like a ray of sun leaving you dizzy with exhaustion. You plop back in bed with a groan knowing your plans to sleep in till afternoon for the whole week was ruined. "So at first I was thinking of going to the Great Marsh like we use to for old time sake" Barry began as he climbed right in sitting at your windowsill. "But I heard today would reach the hottest temperature ever in Sinnoh history!"

"Really now?" You asked in a monotonous voice. How hot can it possibly be in the coldest region in the world.

"Get this, 72 degrees! Can you believe it?!" As someone who was born and raised in Hoenn, a region where temperatures can reach up to the high 90s during the late summer you weren't exactly impressed. "So change of plans! We're going to spend the day at Sandgem Beach so pack your things!"

You glanced at the digital clock on your bedside. It read 6:22AM. "Barry it's too early! Can't we go like at 10 or something?"

"No way! We have to go now otherwise it'll be full if we go any later!"

"When is Sandgem Beach ever full!? You can barely even call it a beach!" You turned away from your friend, wrapping yourself up in your blanket. You were not getting out of this bed.

"Come on (Y/N)!" Barry whined. "We haven't hung out in so long! I literally spent all night planning this week out and you're just going to turn me down?! If Lucas and Dawn were here they would've agreed in going!" You can hear the irritation in his voice but underneath it was a hint of dejection. Shortly after your journey with the trio came to an end things changed. Dawn moved to the Kalos region a year ago to continue her study on Pokemon and just a few months afterwards Lucas left to Unova for reasons unknown though you had a hunch that it had something to do with that officer Looker. Barry spend most of his days at Pastoria’s gym, training intensely with Crasher Wake. As for you your parents never supported your dreams of becoming a Pokemon Trainer and your battling skills were left to be desired so you dropped it to continue your studies and follow a more reasonable career.

Although you didn't look at him you can feel him gazing at you, presumably with a pout or with Lillipup eyes. You groaned in defeat. "Fine."

Barry barely let you finish your sentence as he responded, "Really? Awesome! Don't forget to bring your Pokemon along with you, alright? And don't show up late otherwise I'll fine you!" With that he jump out your window and let out a yelp. "Don't worry! I'm alright!"

You sighed, wondering how anyone could have so much energy so early in the morning as you practically dragged yourself out of bed to start the day.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Sandgem Town was quiet, the majority of the residents still asleep or just starting their day. You haven’t been in Sandgem in quite a while yet walking down the somewhat familiar road invoked a nostalgic feeling. You paused, looking at the houses on the street till you spot the familiar lab down the road. Professor Rowan’s lab. It almost felt like yesterday when you took your first step through Route 201 alongside your friends Lucas and Barry (although the latter practically raced his way there) to get here with your first Pokemon, Riolu. You couldn't help but smile at the memory before going on your way to Sandgem Beach. And, as you predicted, it was empty saved for Barry.

He stood at the edge of the boardwalk, his back facing you as he perform some stretching exercise. His team was already out of their Pokeballs, enjoying themselves. Infernape was meditating, Roserade, Snorlax, and Staraptor were sunbathing, Floatzel was swimming, and Heracross was attempting to bury itself in the sand, seeking warmth. Taking out three Pokeballs from your belt you released your team: Lucario, Lopunny, and Vaporeon. Your Pokemon looked around their surroundings before glancing up at you in surprise. When was the last time you actually brought them somewhere that wasn't home or your school’s campus? “Go on you guys. Have fun!” With that said your Pokemon went off to do their own thing.

Lucario sat beside Inferape, joining it in meditation and Lopunny bounded excitedly over to its long time crush, Roserade, the Bouquet Pokemon vastly annoyed that its peace was disrupted as it escaped from its crushing grip. Lastly, Vaporeon decided to take a swim, dipping into the ocean and blending itself into its surroundings, disappearing from sight.

The commotion between Lopunny and Roserade caught Barry's attention as he looked over to notice you. "Too slow!" He yelled running over to you. Not even giving you a chance to say something he grabs your arm and drags you over to the boardwalk. Once he lets go he begins to take off his shirt.

"Ready for what?" You asked.

“Barry!” You never saw your friend shirtless before so you couldn't help but feel flustered. Though he didn’t seem to care as he carried on anyways. As you assumed, Barry had a lean figure, what you didn't expect however was the amount of freckles he had. Although Barry had freckles dusting his cheeks and nose they were barely noticeable compared to the ones on his back and shoulders which were far more prominent. Realizing you were staring longer then normal you quickly turned away, trying to hide the awkward blush.

Luckily, Barry didn't notice. "Ready?"

"To swim!"

You look down at the blue water before dipping a bare foot in. It was ice cold. "It's freezing!" You exclaimed.

"It's not that bad!"

"Thanks but I pass" you said, waving a hand dismissively.

Barry pouted but it was soon replaced with a mischievous smile. "Alright then, suit yourself." He said, surprising you. Barry wasn't one to easily let things go without trying to convince you first. He's up to something, you know it. You were about to ask but he had already left your side as he jump right into the water, splashing you head to toe causing a sharp gasp to escape your lips from the sudden shock of being doused in icy water. Barry pop back up to the surface with a triumphant smirk, his bright eyes gleaming with playfulness.

"You suck!" You yelled causing him to laugh as he dived back underwater. Soaked to the bone there really was no point in staying out of the water in hopes of drying off soon, not with this cold breeze that made it impossible to warm up. You remove your hoodie and shorts revealing your (color) swimsuit before setting them down on the boardwalk and slipping into the water. Since you were already cold the frigid water didn't get to you, feeling more welcoming then before.

You looked around for your rival, trying to spot the blonde in the murky water but only saw his Floatzel which was lazily floating around. "Barry?” Something suddenly grabbed onto your ankle causing you to scream in surprise and flailing to get away, kicking away whatever touched you.

Barry appeared right beside you, clutching his left cheek. "Ow! Seriously?! You just kicked my face!"

"Well you shouldn't have grabbed me like that!" You said. He only stick his tongue out at you before swimming over to the boardwalk, crossing his arms and resting his head atop of it. You watched him as he stared up at the blue sky with a content expression, droplets of water clinging on to his hair as it shined in the morning light. Seeing him like this gave you the same flustered feeling from before. You couldn't quite wrap your head around as to why though. You’ve known him since kindergarten. So why all of a sudden you felt awkward around him?

"What’s up?" You didn’t even realize that he had stopped gazing up at the sky in favor of looking at you.

“What do you mean?” You said, turning elsewhere though it was in vain since he already caught you this time around.

“You were staring at me just now. It was pretty weird.” You try to think of something to say, mainly to defend yourself but to your relief he changed the subject. “So how’s school?”

You shrugged. “It’s alright. Senior year isn’t difficult compared to the other years since we’re more focused on applying for college.”

“Do you know where you want to go?” You noticed his words were a bit quiet and reserved unlike his usual chipper and noisy self.

“Well I was hoping to go to University of Unova since it’s known for having the best (career) course” you explained. “Though my parents aren’t too keen on me going that far so I might just stick to Goldenrod University.”

“I know that but...” He trailed off for a moment, thinking of what to say. “Can’t you just go to Canalave College instead?”

“Goldenrod!?” Barry’s sudden sharp tone made you flinch. “Why so far?” He was looking at you with a hurt expression that made you feel guilty despite the fact you didn’t do anything wrong. At least, you felt like you did nothing wrong.

“Well compared to Unova which is practically halfway across the world. Johto is just south of Sinnoh.”

“Barry, Canalave College doesn’t even have programs on what I’m going for.”

“Ugh, this is why I’ve always hated school” Barry grumbled, letting go of the boardwalk just to sink further into the water leaving just his eyes visible to you, glaring down at nothing in particular. He almost resembled that of a pouting child.

You didn’t understand why he was so upset about your plans or why he was trying to make you change your college decisions. Unless… “You don’t want me to leave?”

Barry barely let you finish your sentence as he quickly got up. “It’s not that!”

“Then what’s the problem?” You pressured.

At this point Barry wasn’t even looking at you, opting to just randomly glance around the area. “There is no problem! It’s just...” With a sigh he finally looked at you. Honey colored eyes stared at your (e/c) ones, his cheeks gaining a bright shade of pink. “I thought even though Lucas and Dawn left at least I still have you around.”

You couldn’t help but frown. You didn’t realize just how attached Barry was to you and the others until now. Naturally you felt bad but you certainly couldn’t change your plans for him either as much as it hurts you to see him like this. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think you would be this upset about it but it’s just how it is. Eventually we have to go our own way to live our lives. Right now you’re training with Crasher Wake to become one of the best Pokemon Trainer ever. At some point you’re going to leave Sinnoh to follow that dream, right?” He remained silent but nodded in response. “Just because we’re not going to be together like old times doesn’t mean we’re no longer friends. You’ll always be my best friend no matter what.”

“Yeah, you’re right. I guess I was being over dramatic.” You couldn’t help but smile when you saw his expression brighten. That was until he started giggling leaving you perplexed.

“Huh? What’s so funny?” You asked

“Sorry I just found the whole ‘you’ll always be my best friend’ bit kind of cheesy.”

“I was trying to cheer you up you douche!” You snapped unable to control your blush of embarrassment as Barry continued laughing. Seeking petty revenge you bought your fingers to your lips and let out a sharp whistle. Without warning your Vaporeon splashed out between you both before spouting water right in his face. He sputtered in surprise as he attempted to shield himself.

“So that’s how it’s going to be huh?” He challenged before calling for his Floatzel who immediately appeared by his side. Already getting the cue of what was going on the Pokemon retaliated by spraying sea water over you by spinning its propeller-like tails. Oh, it’s on now. Barry however was already a step ahead of you as he mounted onto his Pokemon’s back. “Good luck trying to catch me Slowpoke!” He taunted with a smirk before promptly swimming away from you. You knew Vaporeon was nowhere near as fast as Floatzel but you sure as hell weren’t going to let him get away so easily. You got on Vaporeon’s back and began swimming after the two, unable to contain the childlike excitement and determination you were getting from the chase.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

For the first time since you moved to the chilly region you truly felt the warmth of summer in Sinnoh. You and Barry sat on a bench right outside Sandgem Beach, not bothering to change out of your swimsuits as you ate popsicles and watch the afternoon go by. Residents glance at you both with odd looks since beachgoers rarely, if ever, visit their town but neither of you mind at all. After having that impromptu water fight you both decided to have a Pokemon battle, for old time sake. Of course you lost but you didn’t mind. Its been so long since you felt the fun and adrenaline that battles gave you that you completely forgot why you enjoyed them so much in the first place.

“Hey (Y/N)?” You looked at Barry who took a small bite from his orange creamsicle. “I know I said it was cheesy but is it true? I’ll always be your best friend no matter what?”

“Of course. I wouldn’t lie to you about that.” You had just finished your (flavor) popsicle, dumping the stick in the trash can beside you. He remained silent and although he said he was fine you notice still a hint of sadness in his expression as he stared off in the distance. Placing a hand on his shoulder you diverted his attention to you as you beamed at him. “It’s a promise.”

There was a sudden shimmer in his eyes and you wonder if he was tearing up when he quickly rub at them. “It better be otherwise I’ll fine you ten million PokeDollars if you replace me!” You couldn’t help but giggle, Barry joining in.

“So what’s the plan tomorrow?” You asked.

“Well I was thinking the Great Marsh maybe. If you’re fine with that.”

You nodded. “I bet I can catch more Pokemon then you.” You smirked when his smile faded into an annoyed expression.

“As if! I’m totally going to kick your ass!” He said swatting away your hand when you attempted to ruffle his hair just to irk him.

Needless to say, you were pretty glad he woke you up this morning.

[goldentournesol]

Overworked

(Spencer Reid x Reader)

The one where Spencer feels overworked and stressed out so Reader decides to take him on a mini-road trip and feeds him lots of donuts.

Length: 3.6k 

A/N: a special thank you to @random-ravings for requesting this and basically helping me plan it all out <3 ENJOY SOME MAJOR FLUFF!

masterlist

The sheer amount of bad days that Spencer generally had would surprise anyone, however that particular day had been too much to handle. He uncharacteristically overslept and missed the metro car he usually took in the morning, which meant he didn’t have enough time to get his morning coffee. Once he got to work and made his coffee there, he managed to spill it on his desk, ruining a lot of paperwork. This resulted in a stern glare from Hotch, which he totally deserved but that didn’t make him feel any better. On top of that, he spent the rest of his day doing repetitive filing and staring at mutilated bodies. All in all, it was a horrible day and he wanted nothing more than to get home, eat something warm, and cuddle with his girlfriend.

When he entered the apartment silently, she knew something was up. He usually called out for her.

“Spencer?” She called out from the couch where she was seated enjoying some reruns of The Office on the TV.

He stayed silent as he walked into their shared living room, his shoulders hunched over and his head hanging. One look at him and she knew he’d had a hard day.

“Bad day, baby?” she asked, getting up and wrapping her arms around him. In moments like these, he actually preferred physical contact from her. 

He nodded as he bent his neck to rest his forehead on her shoulder. The sudden change in weight had almost toppled her over, but she steadied herself. He must have forgotten momentarily how much taller than her he was. He reminded her of those big dogs that liked to settle themselves on their owners’ laps, miscalculating just how much they’ve grown. One of her hands immediately reached to comb through his hair, the other rubbing large circles on his back. 

“I’m sorry, love. Wanna tell me what happened?” He replied by shaking his head, groaning, and burying his head further into her neck. She giggled in response and nodded, “Okay, okay.”

He straightened out his back and tightened his grip around her middle, now it was her turn to bury her head in his chest. She placed a kiss to it and he cracked his first smile of the day. She was so tender with him, it made all his worries disappear. She hummed into the fabric of his shirt.

“You smell good. You always smell good.” She pointed out and he chuckled lightly, leaning down to give the top of her head a kiss.

“Thanks, sweetheart. I missed you.” He replied and he brought one of his hands up to the back of her neck to guide her face to his. She complied and met his eyes for the first time, they were tired. He was overworked and she could feel it in his shoulders.

“I missed you, too, Spencie.” He smiled at the nickname and she leaned closer for a kiss. They shared a sweet kiss and Spencer hated to admit it because it was so cliche, but the rest of the world seemed to fizzle away around them. She smiled onto his lips and pulled away, a mischievous look in her eye.

“What?” He asked expectantly but she just bit her lip in excitement, signaling that she had an idea.

“Can you take tomorrow off?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Um, I don’t know...well, I mean I guess it depends if we get a case or not--wait, why? What are you thinking?” 

“You, my love, are seriously overworked and stressed. I’m going to do my best to make sure you relax.” She smiled proudly.

“Uh, okay...what do you have in mind?” He pressed further.

“Do you have your go-bag?” she questioned and he nodded, “Great! ‘Cause we’re taking a short road trip!” She announced casually as she made her way into their room to pack an overnight bag.

“Wait, what?! No, I can’t do that, Y/N. I have to be in town in case the team needs me.” He began to protest, following her.

“Relax, Spencer. We won’t go anywhere far. You just need to get some fresh air and we’ll have some good, clean fun, I promise. Now let me de-stress you, baby.” She said turning to him and placing a soft kiss to his cheek. How could he say no to that?

She proceeded to pack her bag and change into a pair of leggings, one of Spencer’s large hoodies, and some sneakers, “Let’s go?” Spencer eyed the hoodie and gave her a lopsided smile as he leaned against the door frame.

“Really? Don’t you have any other hoodies you can wear?” Spencer teased and she laughed. She rolled her eyes and walked right past him, shoving his chest gently. She knew he was just teasing her and in actuality loved it when she wore his clothes. When he would wear them after her, he would understand why she loved wearing his clothes. The hoodies always smelled like her. Like strawberry shampoo and vanilla body mist. 

“Should I change?” He asked her.

“Mmm, yeah, you should probably get into something more comfortable...like this hoodie.” She smirked at him and now it was his turn to roll his eyes.

“Alright, alright.” He proceeded to change, getting into some sweatpants and one of his other hoodies.

They made their way down into the car they shared (although Spencer still preferred the Metro) and Y/N sat in the driver’s seat. Spencer laughed at her from the passenger seat for struggling to pull up the chair. He’d been the last one to drive the car and so he had the seat pushed all the way back.

“Don’t laugh at me! It’s not my fault I have short legs!” She exclaimed which made him laugh even harder. She gave him a playful glare and the heaviness of the day began to lift itself off of his shoulders. It was hard not being happy around her. She radiated happiness and Spencer couldn’t be more thankful to have her in his life. The car started moving and he turned in his seat so that his back was resting against the door and he was staring straight ahead at her. He liked watching her drive, he thought it was attractive.

“So, where are you taking me first?” He asked, noting how she glanced at him, trying to keep her eyes on the road. She couldn’t help it, his gaze was intoxicating. He saw a small smile form on her lips.

“Well, let’s just say I have a lot of things planned and I don’t want you to get bored, so I’m getting you some incentives. It’ll make more sense when I get them.” She explained, practically feeling the confusion radiate off of him.

“Them?” he repeated and she nodded. A few minutes later, she parked in front of their favorite bakery. It instantly clicked in his head and he let out a soft laugh. She giggled again and they both entered the bakery, all the different aromas surrounding them. Spencer’s stomach made a few loud noises, but thankfully the chatter of the customers drowned it out.

She ordered half a dozen donuts, all of them Spencer’s favorite: chocolate frosting with sprinkles, even though she preferred glazed. Spencer was too endeared by the gesture to say anything about it. Y/N literally had to swat his hands away from the box upon receiving it. Spencer rolled his eyes playfully and they got back in the car. He looked at her expectantly.

“Relax, pretty boy, you’ll get all the donuts your heart desires.” He grinned at the nickname, once she’d heard Morgan call him that, it stuck with her. She used it whenever she wanted to tease him. “Alright, here are the rules.”

“Rules?!” He looked at her incredulously, his fingers curling and tapping restlessly on his sweatpants, practically drooling at the thought and smell of the donuts.

“Yes, rules. After each activity, we get to share a donut.” He saw the way her eyes sparkled under the street lamps and gave in.

“Fine, what’s our first activity?” He groaned dramatically and she laughed at his childish antics.

“Well, actually the first activity compliments the donuts.” She began driving again after gingerly placing the box in the backseat, “you know that new Indian restaurant I’ve been dying to try?”

“Yeah! But that’s like…” he paused for a millisecond, “81.343 miles away! If we drive at 65 miles per hour we’ll get there in 74 minutes and 16 seconds!” Spencer said impatiently but she just giggled because she knew he didn’t really care about how long it took to get there, he just wanted a donut.

She gave in, “Fine, Spence, you can have one. But don’t you dare complain about losing your appetite once we get there.” She waved a finger at him and he cheered as he got one from the backseat.

She grinned as she watched him take a bite out of the donut. She had to physically tear her gaze away as he licked his lips and rolled his eyes to the back of his head, “Alright, alright. I know they’re good, just for the love of God, stop doing that.”

“Mmm, losing focus, baby?” he teased and she turned on the radio, “Do you want the other half?” She shrugged and took it, eating it in two bites.

“Ugh, it is good.” She confirmed and tapped her fingers on the steering wheel along to the music. She gasped as the song changed, startling Spencer.

“Oh my God, they’re playing throwbacks! I love this song!” She said singing along to Taylor Swift’s ‘Love Story’. For the first two verses, all Spencer could do was watch her in awe of her beauty as she sang along. He didn’t know all the words, but he memorized the chorus just in time for it to play again.

“Come on, Spencer! Sing with me!” She laughed and he sang along. She was the only one capable of making him feel this carefree. He would usually be too embarrassed to sing along to the radio, but her happiness was contagious. The radio kept playing some hits working backwards in time until they got to the 90’s when he finally recognized one.

“Oh! I know this one!” Spencer said excitedly and she laughed again in shock as he began singing along to the first verse of the Backstreet Boys’ ‘I Want It That Way’ and miming the words in a dramatic performance. Y/N was too surprised by Spencer to even sing along at that point, but later joined him.

“Spencer, why, of all the 90’s songs on Earth, do you know this one?” She struggled to contain her laughter as the song ended. He felt the blush creep up to his cheeks. 

“Garcia was playing it at her birthday party. It’s pretty catchy!” He admitted sheepishly. They spent the rest of the car ride singing songs at the top of their lungs until they reached the restaurant. 

“Ugh, I’m starving.” Spencer said as his eyes darted over the menu. She nodded and gazed at him in awe, missing his face since she couldn’t really look at him while she was driving. Spencer glanced over the menu at her, “You alright?” She nodded again, admiring him. “Okay…” he said, smirking. He ordered for the two of them and finally gave her all his attention.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Spencer said as he munched on the complementary naan.

“What? I’m not allowed to admire my ‘pretty boy’ boyfriend?” She raised a brow at him, knowing the comment will make him blush. She loved it when she could make him flustered. He smiled and it reached his dimples, making her swoon momentarily.

“Are you feeling better, babe?” She asked him, laying a hand on top of his.

He nodded, “Yeah, so much better. Thank you, by the way, for doing all this. I don’t deserve you.” he intertwined their fingers.

“Come on, it’s nothing. You work too hard and too much. It’s good to take a break sometimes. Although, I can’t say I’m not being selfish, whisking you away on a spontaneous road trip. I want to spend time with you because I miss you a lot.” She flashed him a small smile and Spencer couldn’t help but feel slightly guilty.

“I’m sorry, I know that I put you through so much.” He began apologizing but she shook her head.

“Spencer, I love you way too much to think about all that.” She squeezed his hand and he realized how lucky he was to have her in his life.

The rest of the time at the restaurant was spent eating. Spencer had ordered so many different dishes and she couldn’t wait to try them all. They occasionally reviewed the dishes among themselves, picking their favorites and their least favorites. Spencer also learned that they have very different tolerances to spicy food. Soon, they’re back in their car, splitting another donut. Spencer scarfed it down before they even started moving.

“The food was so good!” Y/N exclaims as she starts driving again. Spencer agreed as he rested back in the seat, the food in his stomach creating a nice warmth. He was out before he knew it. She decided to let him nap a little bit as she used the GPS to get to their next location. She really wanted to take his mind off of work so she took him to a bowling alley. She decided to park in front of it to let him nap a little more. A few minutes later, Spencer awoke and looked around.

“Woah, did I fall asleep?” he asked, his tongue thick. She nodded and he rubbed his eyes, yawning, “Where are we?” He looked outside and spotted the bowling alley.

“If you’re not up for it, we can come back another time.” She offered, knowing he was probably exhausted.

“Hmm, sounds like you’re afraid of losing, Y/L/N.” Spencer replied by getting out of the car. She shook her head at him and made her way inside. Spencer insisted he’d play in his socks because he was wary of the fact that he’d have to wear shoes that someone else wore--someone that probably had sweaty feet. He shuddered at the thought.

They began playing and Spencer had been protesting the entire time because Y/N decided to write his name as ‘DrSpencie’ and so it was flashing all over all the screens for everyone to see. Spencer really tried to be good at the game, but athleticism really wasn’t in his blood. Instead, he tried to calculate the angles he needed to roll the ball at as well as calculating the optimum velocity needed to knock down all the pins, but as soon as Y/N noticed the concentrated look on his face, she began booing him.

“That’s cheating, Dr. Spencie!” she called out from behind him. He, however, was completely unaware that she was videotaping this shot. Somehow, he knocked all the pins down and immediately his hands rose up to cheer, spinning around to face his girlfriend.

“Did you see that?!” He said before he realized she had the phone practically in his face. He laughed and she promptly sent the video to the groupchat of her and the rest of the BAU ladies. They’d grown quite close since she and Spencer started dating and they’ve even gone out together on a few ladies’ nights. JJ quickly responded, teasing Spencer about the nickname Y/N gave him and she knew they weren’t going to let it go. 

Y/N laughed and cheered with him, “Alright, I’ll admit it, that was a pretty good shot.”

Even though Spencer did make a few good shots, Y/N ended up getting a higher score. She smiled smugly as they got into the car again. She immediately reached for the donuts and split one in half. She leaned over the armrest between them to give him a loud celebratory kiss on the cheek to which he rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest in feigned annoyance.

“Aw, Spencie, don’t be a sore loser! Here, take your half.” She gave him his half. Spencer made sure they’d both washed their hands before leaving the bowling alley, rambling in detail how dirty the bowling balls must have been. His face immediately lit up and he reached out for the donut, forgetting about his unfortunate luck when it came to any games involving any physical activity. She grinned as she watched him eat it.

“So what’s next?” he asked, mouth full of donut. 

She shrugged and began driving, “How about we go for a stroll in the park? Get some fresh air? I saw one a few miles back.” He nodded and zoned out fairly quickly. She noticed and placed an upturned hand on his thigh, wanting him to take it. He slid his hand through hers and she saw a smile make a home on his face. He loved how she always wanted to be close to him. She never got sick of him and it baffled him every day. They sat in a comfortable silence with him occasionally using his thumb to caress her hand. At this point he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it.

Soon, they made it to the park and they were walking along the path, making playful conversation. She looped an arm around one of his as they walked together. He had his hands in his pockets and was excitedly telling her about the book he finished last. She couldn’t hear him, though. All she could see was the way the soft glows from lamp lights sparkled in his eyes and danced across the contours of his face. 

“Y/N? Are you okay?” He said softly, stopping and turning to face her. She snapped out of it quickly.

“Hm...oh, yeah. Sorry, I was distracted.” She blushed and he smiled with a special kind of confidence he found with her. He proceeded to wrap an arm around her shoulders and she instinctively cuddled into his side as they began walking again. She spotted a big tree and they sat under it. He leaned his back against the tree and she put her head in his lap.

“I don’t want any bugs in my hair.” She giggled as she spread her hair onto his lap. His hands immediately reached down to twirl it around his fingers.

“I’m not complaining, angel.” He said as he rested his head back on the tree. She stared up at him as he stared into the branches of the tree above them.

“Did you know that a single tree has the ability to absorb as much as 48 pounds of carbon dioxide each year and can sequester 1 ton of carbon dioxide by the time it reaches 40 years old? It’s actually estimated that United States forests absorb about 10% of the country’s CO2 emissions each year.” he mindlessly stated and she beamed up at him.

“They’re so awesome.” She yawned as he played with her hair, she didn’t mean to sound disinterested because she was interested, she was just growing tired. He looked down at her and ran a finger over her jawline.

“Are you getting tired, love?” He asked and she nodded.

“But I wanna stay here with you, just a little longer.” she murmured and he felt his heart swell up in his chest, “keep talking, I like listening to you.”

He smiled, “Okay, what do you wanna hear me talk about?”

She shrugged and turned on her side, resting her cheek on his lap and looking out across the greenery, “Tell me about…” she pondered, “the stars.” 

His hands continued to run through her hair, “Okay, so did you know that when we look at a star in the sky, we’re actually looking into the past because of how long it takes its light to reach us? The Sun appears as it was 8.5 minutes ago. The view of Alpha Centauri is 4.3 years old, while the appearance of Sirius is more than 8 years old. So while we can’t know for sure without a telescope, most of the stars we see in the sky have probably already died and we’re just looking at what they used to look like.” He checked on her to see if she was still awake and saw that she barely was, seeing that it was almost midnight.

“Tell me about…” she yawned again, “the rarest dog breed.” Spencer couldn’t help but let out a soft laugh. Here he was, in a random park a few towns over with this amazing woman who was seconds away from falling asleep on his lap and all she wanted to hear about was dogs.

“Okay, I will.” He said as he brought his knees up gently to shift positions. He wrapped one arm underneath her knees and the other around her middle to bring her body into his lap so she was sitting across it. She rested her head in between his shoulder and his neck like it belonged there. Spencer knew she was already half asleep so he didn’t want to risk waking her. He placed a firm kiss to her head and rested his cheek against it. He stayed quiet until he felt her breathing even itself out, letting him know that she’d fallen asleep. 

“Love, I’m gonna take you back to the car now.” He spoke softly, not knowing whether she actually heard him or not. 

He moved her off his lap swiftly before standing and hooking an arm underneath her legs again to pick her up off the ground. He carried her all the way to the car and set her inside gently. Spencer readjusted the seat to fit his long legs, chuckling at the memory of her struggling to pull it up. 

He decided it was too late to drive all the way back home so he settled on a nearby motel. After checking them in, he set her down carefully on the bed. Spencer removed her shoes, then his, and got in bed next to her, knowing that tomorrow the donut-filled adventures would continue. At that very moment, it was hard for even Spencer Reid to remember a life before her.

[lasting-inkpressions]

Burning Up [2/4]

Summary: When she applied to be the secretary for managing partner Rosé McCorkell, Denali hadn't expected to end up working for the biggest pain in her ass, nor did she expect anything beyond a professional relationship.

Word Count: 4.1k

Prefer reading it on AO3?

It was raining heavily, the kind of rain that would drench you if you stepped out for just a second. Denali sighed as she stared out the office window, cursing herself for forgetting her umbrella at home. The weather app had warned her of the impending rain, but she’d forgotten as soon as she got a message from Rosé requesting that their morning meeting be pushed up, and so she had to rush out the house earlier than usual.

She supposed she could call an Uber, but was hesitant about spending the money. Sure Denali could afford it now with how much she made, but it was still nice knowing that she didn’t spend the extra money on that and instead saved it towards those new skates that she had been eyeing.

Collapsing into her chair, she swivelled around in it, noticing for the first time how deserted the office floor was. Checking her watch, her eyes bugged out at how late it was.

It was already well past 9pm.

Groaning, she slumped over her desk, knocking her head against it, finally feeling how exhausted she really was.

It had been a long week, and there had been a few big cases recently, meaning that there was a lot more paper work than usual. The paralegals had been running around helping out the various partners in the firm, and the managing partners themselves seemed a little bit more pressured than usual.

She remembered seeing Jan running back and forth between Lagoona and Rosé’s offices, followed by a trail of interns carrying various stacks and boxes of files. Lagoona had been the opposite, calm and collected through it all, reassuring and being a mentor to anyone who needed it on top of handling her own case load.

Rosé on the other hand had been a little on edge, as if she was the middle ground between the other managing partners, being neither frantic nor calm. She had been more restrained and quiet this week, retreating into her mind as she absorbed all the information she needed so she could plan out her courtroom strategies. Every time Denali had her morning meetings with her, or whenever she entered her office, it had been nothing but business, with almost no teasing from Rosé. At first, Denali had felt a little weirded out, then relieved at finally getting the peace and quiet she had always wanted. By the end of the week though, the blonde couldn’t help but miss their little interactions. She had actually gotten used to the banter that the two of them shared.

Burrowing her face into her arms, she pouted, thinking about how long she would have to wait for the rain to subside when she felt someone gently stroking the back of her head. Startled by the sudden touch, she looked up to find Rosé standing over her, a light frown on her face.

“Denali, what are you still doing here?”

Denali blinked, surprised that Rosé was still in the office. “Miss McCorkell! Aren’t you supposed to be at dinner with a client?” Rosé chuckled, settling herself at the edge of Denali’s desk. “Ever the diligent little secretary, aren’t you? It ended early, and I forgot something in the office. Also, you never answered my question, angel.”

And she was back with the nicknames again.

“I completed the weekly summary report not too long ago, so now I’m just waiting out the rain.”

“At this hour?”

Denali shrugged. “Catching an Uber now isn’t very economical.” Though she probably would have to give up at some point if the rain didn’t let up soon.

Rosé raised a brow. “And no plans on a Friday night? No hot date?” The younger girl couldn’t help letting out a snort before shaking her head in response. Who had time for dates when your job took up so much of your time? Rosé hummed, face carefully blank, then looked out the window at the rain. There were several beats of silence, causing Denali to squirm a little in her seat. She couldn’t tell what the other woman was thinking, and she couldn’t help but notice how close their hands were to each other, their pinkies almost touching. She quietly shifted her hands into her lap when her stomach let out a grumble, causing her to freeze and flush in embarrassment.

She probably should have eaten more than that panini for lunch.

“I’m guessing you didn’t have time for dinner again?” Denali’s brows shot up in surprise. She hadn’t expected Rosé to have noticed seeing as the older woman had been so busy herself. Rosé laughed at the expression on her face, lightly tugging at Denali’s ponytail in amusement.

“Don’t look so surprised! Of course I would have noticed that my secretary hasn’t been eating regularly for the past week.” Rosé slid off the desk and bent down to pick up both her bag and Denali’s. Smiling down at the blonde, she cocked her head towards the elevator.

“Come on baby, let’s get you some food, and then I’ll drive you home.”

Before she could even protest, Rosé had already started walking towards the lift lobby. Denali stared after the redhead, stunned for a moment before scrambling to follow her, trying to ignore how her heart was thumping just a tiny bit faster.

———

Rosé had practically herded the other girl into her car and, despite Denali’s initial protests, driven them both to a diner that was not too far from the office. There weren’t a lot of places that were still open at that hour, but The Goode Place was always open 24/7.

Careful to ensure that the both of them stayed dry, the older woman had parked her car as close to the entrance of the diner as possible and made Denali stay put while she walked over to her side with a large umbrella to shield them from the rain. Opening the door, Rosé had tugged Denali to her side, arm wrapped tightly around her shoulders, and had hip checked the door shut with a click, making sure that it was locked. All the while, Denali had been trying to control the blood rushing to her cheeks and her racing heart, telling herself that Rosé was just trying to make sure that the both of them stayed dry, or at least as dry as possible.

When they’d entered the diner, Rosé had let go of Denali, and the blonde quickly took a step away while the older woman shook out the umbrella and set it with the other wet ones at the entrance. Denali looked around at the interior of the diner, a little in awe at how the place looked. She had always noticed it in passing, but had never thought to set foot in it before, and now she wish she had done so sooner.

The place looked bright and colourful with a mix of retro and modern touches. There were vintage looking posters on the walls featuring old school pin up girl illustrations, bright neon lights spelling out cliched words, signed framed vinyls, eccentric decorations like flowers and vines, and the odd set of crystals with bare bulbs hanging from the ceiling. A juke box stood in the corner playing music from the 90’s, and the floors and walls were tiled in red, white, pink and blue colours.

Denali had been so enraptured by her surroundings that she hadn’t noticed how Rosé was staring at her with a small smile on her face. The older woman gently placed her hand on the small of Denali’s back and guided her to a nearby booth, and it was only then did Denali remember that she wasn’t alone, that she was there with her boss. After sitting in the booth, Rosé waved over a pretty girl with electric blue curls that was at the counter, whose face lit up in recognition and immediately bounced over with a pair of menus in hand.

“Hey there Rosé! I see you’ve brought some company this evening.” Rosé smiled back at the girl, leaning towards her and winking. “That I did, baby. Do I get a discount for bringing a new patron to this fine establishment?” The girl giggled, swatting Rosé in the arm with the menus. “Nice try, Miss Rich Bitch. Try again next time when you finally have a ring on your finger, and I’ll think about it.” Turning to Denali, the girl flashed a brilliant smile. “Nice to meet you girl, the name’s Crystal.” Denali smiled back, already taking a liking to her. “Nice to meet you! I’m Denali.”

Crystal’s brows shot up. “Denali? As in the pretty blonde secretary that Rosé is- OW!”

“Yes, she’s my secretary. And unless you want to lose the generous tip I usually give, I suggest you move on to what tonight’s specials are.”

Crystal pouted, rubbing the shin that Rosé had kicked into. “Alright, rude much.” She rattled off the specials for the night, took down their drink orders and left the two to decide what food to order. Denali opened up the menu, perusing it silently, trying not to think too much into how Crystal knew that she was Rosé’s secretary. Rosé tapped her finger on the table, already knowing what she wanted as Denali tried to decide what to eat. When Crystal came back with their drinks, they placed their food orders and then sat at the table in silence.

It felt a little awkward to Denali, being out in a public setting with her boss outside of their work hours, and having supper together at that. She wasn’t really sure how to act with the woman who signed her pay check every month combined with the fact that only up until recently, she had been harbouring nothing but frustration and a dislike towards. It was odd.

As if sensing the other girl’s inner thoughts, Rosé knocked their knees together. “What’s going on in that pretty blonde head of yours?”

Denali shrugged, playing with the straw of her drink. “It’s nothing.”

“Really? Nothing? Now why do I not believe you when you say that.”

Denali laughed under her breath, and chose to take a sip of her milkshake instead of replying her. Her eyes widened once the cold drink hit her tastebuds and she pulled away. “Oh my god, this is so good!” Rosé beamed. “Isn’t it? I discovered this place when I was still a paralegal a few years back. I haven’t been able find another place that makes as good a milkshake as this.”

Nodding in agreement, Denali happily drank more of her milkshake, oblivious to the fond smile Rosé gave her when the blonde finally relaxed.

It wasn’t too long until their food arrived, and they both ate in a more comfortable silence. In between bites, Rosé would ask Denali little questions, easy and non-intrusive ones, mindful of the fact that Denali still wasn’t entirely comfortable in her presence. It didn’t last too long though as Denali loosened up a little more, and was soon also contributing more to the conversation with her own questions. When both plates were empty and glasses drained, Rosé moved to pay for the bill, despite Denali trying to pay for her own food. Crystal had rolled her eyes at the two of them and had immediately taken Rosé’s card, ignoring Denali’s.

“Doll, if a rich woman offers to pay, just let her.” Denali pouted at Crystal and pocketed her card, ignoring the chuckles coming from Rosé. “She’s right, baby. Just listen to her.”

The blonde rolled her eyes at that, and the two of them departed, with Crystal blowing them a kiss goodbye. Thankfully, it had stopped raining and by the time they had reached Denali’s apartment, and it was a few minutes shy of midnight.

“Would you look at that? Looks like your chariot won’t turn into a pumpkin after all, Cinderella.”

Denali snorted at Rosé’s comment, biting her tongue when she instinctively wanted to make a remark, and instead smiled.

“Thank you for supper and bringing me home, I really appreciate it.”

Rosé brushed it off with a shrug. “It’s no big deal. You were working late because of me anyway, so it’s the least I could do.”

“Well, not a lot of bosses would think that way, so thank you again, Miss McCorkell.

Rosé pouted, leaning against the wheel of her car as she looked at Denali. “Oh come on Nali, after all these months together and me introducing you to New York’s finest milkshake, and you still won’t call me by my name?” Being tired from the long day and no longer as mindful of her own behaviour as she usually was, Denali couldn’t help letting out a soft laugh while unbuckling her seatbelt. She opened the door and paused for a moment, as if carefully contemplating something, before turning to look at Rosé, a playful glint in her eye.

“Good night, Rosé.”

Rosé’s mouth fell open when Denali said her name, but before the older woman could react, the blonde had shut the door and retreated to her apartment.

That night, Denali dreamed of milkshakes, jukeboxes and pink roses.

———

It was Monday morning when Denali knocked on the managing partner’s office door and let herself in, her trusty leather folio and Rosé’s usual cup of coffee in hand. She set the coffee down in its usual spot as Rosé carried on typing away at her keyboard.

“Good morning, Miss McCorkell.”

Rosé stopped typing and looked up from her laptop, a pout on her lips.

“What happened to Rosé?”

Ignoring her question with an almost affectionate roll of her eyes, Denali extracted an envelope from her folio and slid it over the desk towards Rosé. “This invitation for you was just delivered this morning.” The managing partner took one look at it and recognised the emblem. “Ah, it’s the invite for that benefit Lagoona mentioned earlier.” Deftly opening it with her fingers, she pulled out the invitation card and scanned its contents while Denali sat down in the chair opposite her, opening her folio and clicking her pen.

“I’m assuming that you will need a plus one for the benefit. Would you like me to contact Miss Sin again?”

“No need. Did you manage to get a hot date for next Friday?”

Denali raised a brow, unsure of why Rosé was asking her that. “..no?”

“Good, then you can be mine at the benefit.”

Denali had to pause for a moment, unsure about whether she heard Rosé correctly. She couldn’t have just asked Denali to be her plus one, right?

“I’m sorry, Miss McCorkell, did you just ask me to be your plus one for the benefit?” Rosé chuckled as she closed the lid of her laptop and folded her hands, a mischievous look in her eye.

“Well, I wasn’t really asking, more like I was ordering you to be my plus one.”

Denali laughed under her breath. “Of course you were.”

“What was that?”

“I said that I can’t.”

Rosé frowned, not liking her answer. “And why not? You already said that you didn’t have a hot date, and I’m assuming no other plans either.”

Well if Denali had known that Rosé was going to ask her to be her plus one, she probably would have made one up on the spot. Knowing that she was waiting for an answer, Denali wracked her brain for a quick excuse.

“..I don’t have anything to wear.”

She was an idiot.

“That’s it?”

“Also, I don’t think that it’s very appropriate for me to be your plus one when I’m your secretary.”

Rosé waved off her concern. “It’ll be fine and besides, who cares?” Denali pinched the bridge of her nose, already feeling an incoming headache. “Miss McCorkell, with all due respect, I do. And again, even if I didn’t, I don’t have anything appropriate to wear for the benefit.” The redhead frowned. Denali saw that Rosé was about to argue back and quickly cut her off.

“Now, on your schedule for today…”

Rosé frowned at being stopped, but kept quiet, hands clasped as she listened to Denali, though not as intently as she normally would.

Just because she was quiet , it didn’t mean that she had accepted Denali’s rejection.

———

Heels clicking on the asphalt, Denali walked along the sidewalk and towards the boutique she had been asked to go to pick up Rosé’s new custom suit for the benefit on Friday.

It had been funny and entertaining how the days leading up to the benefit, the older woman had been constantly and relentlessly pestering Denali about being her plus one. Every single morning Rosé would ask, and every single morning Denali would say no. Sometimes the blonde would go off for an errand or two, and come back to a post it stuck on her desk asking her, and each time she would sneak the post it back onto Rosé’s desk with no as the reply. There were even attempts to bribe her with boxes of donuts, cupcakes and macarons delivered to her table, and still she said no.

Kandy had been amused at the whole situation and had asked Denali if this was their weird version of foreplay, which had earned her a well placed eraser to the forehead.

Honestly, Denali wasn’t really sure why Rosé was so determined to bring her to the benefit as her plus one. If she had needed her secretary at her side at a professional capacity, Denali would have gone for sure, but from the sounds of it and the way Rosé was asking her, it didn’t feel like it. A small, insecure part of Denali felt a little scared that the redhead was just teasing her and leading her on, which was one of the main reasons why she kept rejecting her. Denali didn’t want to just end up being another conquest for Rosé.

Not that she was looking for anything more than a professional relationship anyways.

Pushing the glass door open and sighing in relief when she felt the cool air on her skin, Denali stopped in her tracks when she saw Rosé sitting on the settee in the middle of the boutique, eyes glued to her phone.

“Miss McCorkell? What are you doing here? I thought you had a personal appointment this afternoon.”

Rosé looked up from her phone and stood up, pocketing it. “I do.” Confused, Denali furrowed her brows. “Then why are you here? Did I make a mistake about picking up your suit for you?”

“Oh no, that’s correct. You’re here to pick up my suit for me, and I’m here too pick a dress for you.”

Denali stared at Rosé’s smug face, her mind slowly processing what other woman had just said.

“I’m sorry, what?”

Rosé chuckled at Denali’s expression just as a beautiful blonde woman emerged from another part of the boutique. “Rosé, the dresses that you selected are ready.” Clapping her hands, Rosé grinned at the French woman. “Excellent, thank you Nicky. Just like your name, you are an absolute doll.”

Pulling Denali over by the hand, she introduced her to the other blonde. “Nicky, this lady here is Denali, my plus one for the benefit.”

Shaken out of her stupor, Denali protested. “Wait a minute, I never agreed to be your plus one.” Rosé scoffed and looked down at Denali. “Well, the only reason you gave me for saying no was because you have nothing to wear. Now that we’re here, Nicky is going to help remedy that little problem, isn’t that right doll?” Rosé winked at Nicky. The French woman laughed, amused. “Indeed, come this way mes amours.”

Nicky led them to one of the adjoining rooms in the boutiques where there was a rack of dresses set up next to a curtained off fitting area. Rosé walked over to the rack and thumbed through the fabrics, pulling out a red dress.

“Let’s start with this one.”

What felt like hours later, Denali was tired out from trying on countless dresses, despite how hard she had tried to argue her way out of it. Both Nicky and Rosé had pointedly ignored her objections and kept pushing her back into the fitting room with a new dress to try on. With each dress she tried, Denali had noticed the price going higher and higher, with the number of digits and zeros increasing. She could probably sell one of the dresses off and have her rent taken care of for at least a year or two with the exorbitant price of each piece. She didn’t even want to think about how she’d be able to afford any of them, let alone for just one stupid night of dancing with rich snobs.

Finally, when it felt like she was about to reach her limit, Nicky had passed her a dress, assuring her that this was the one. Denali had sighed and taken it from her, drawing the curtains closed. Unzipping the blue one she had on and taking it off, she took the dress that Nicky had passed to her and finally looked at it. On the hanger, it looked like it would be a stunning floor length white strapless number, but would it be the case when it was on her?

Carefully unzipping it and taking it off the hanger, Denali stepped into it and slipped it on, frowning for a split second when she realised that she would have trouble zipping the dress up on her own. She tried to do it a number of times, but soon huffed in annoyance.

“Is anything the matter, mon cheri?”

“I’m just having some trouble zipping up. Do you think I could get some help?”

There were some quiet murmurs from outside, then the sound of the curtains opening and closing. Feeling fingers on her back, Denali brushed her hair to the side and held the dress to her chest as the the hands on her back pulled the zipper up, fingertips grazing the bare skin of her back as they did, causing her to shiver. Feeling the tug of the zip reaching the end, Denali stilled when she thought she felt lips ghost the back of her neck. Blinking in a daze, she turned around to find heated hazel eyes watching her.

Rosé was looking her over, eyes going down her body as she took in Denali’s form and how the dress looked on her before going back to her face, taking in how the blonde had a soft blush on her cheeks. Gently turning her to face the mirror, Rosé slowly tugged Denali’s hair loose from her high ponytail, letting her long blonde hair fall about her. Carefully arranging her hair to one side and tucking away an errant strand, Rosé smiled softly as they both looked at Denali’s reflection.

The dress was breathtaking on Denali, the white fabric contrasting beautifully against her tan skin. The sweetheart neckline showed off her collarbones, and the way the bodice of the dress hugged her body flattered her figure. There was a slit that stopped mid thigh that would flash her toned legs every time she took a step, further emphasised by the subtle pearl sheen. It was as if the dress was tailored just for Denali.

“Beautiful.”

Denali tore her gaze away from the reflection of the dress to Rosé’s face and felt her legs almost give way at the hungry look that was in her eyes. It looked as if the older woman wanted to swallow her whole with how close she stood to Denali, her fingers loosely curled around Denali’s wrists. She hadn’t even realised that Rosé had been touching her.

The blonde looked away after a while, not being able to stand being trapped in the heat of Rosé’s gaze any longer.

“Yes, the dress is indeed beautiful, Miss McCorkell.”

The fingers around her wrists tightened, and Denali felt a chin rest on her bare shoulder, causing her to gasp.

“I meant you, Denali. You’re beautiful.”

The air between them felt electric, and Denali was afraid to make a move, unsure about whether she wanted to break this bubble, this moment between them. As if reading her mind, Rosé’s eyes met hers in the mirror before she stepped away. Taking her by the hand, she led Denali out of the fitting room and back to the larger one. Nicky was nowhere to be seen and in her place was a small table with an assortment of jewellery laid out. Humming, Rosé examined the precious stones laid out before them, all the while rubbing slow circles onto the back of Denali’s hand, and selected a thin gold necklace with an intricate floral pendant of twisting vines and small inlaid gems. Turning the younger woman around, she fastened the necklace around Denali’s neck, all the while Rosé’s fingers were purposely grazing her skin.

Turning Denali back around to face her, Rosé smiled, a finger gently tracing the curve of Denali’s cheek.

“Perfect.”

———

I've lightly sprinkled in hints of sugar mommy Rosé in there. Very minor though because let's be honest, do you think Denali would be able to just sit still and look pretty? Yeah, no.

I might have ideas of setting up a verse of sorts to have little side stories which might even feature Crystal and Gigi because I think it'd be so cute and fluffy to have little Crygi moments of them running the diner together, but who knows.

[realcube]

Shifting // Hinata x Reader

summary: hinata learns about this thing called ‘shifting realities’ so he tries do use the Alice in Wonderland method to meet his anime gf - (Y/N) (L/N).

tw// cussing, sex references, shifting 

Hinata sighed, hopping off of his bed and shuffled over to the middle of this room, lying down on the only clear part room that wasn't filled with (Y/N) - from '(Y/N)'s Quick Fame' - memorabilia.  "This is so stupid." He murmured - phone in hand, he relaxed on the warm floor, exhaling through his nose and letting the weight on his shoulders slowly melt away. 

He lightly tapped the unpause button on his phone for the subliminal the chose to start playing again, after that he simply let go of any stress in his body - as the recalled the instructions telling him to do - his breath hitching upon hearing the light thump of his phone hitting the ground. As the subliminal rung in his ears, stimulating his ear, his eyelids began to feel heavy so he allowed them to fall, plunging him into darkness. 

Now that he felt fully at ease with his breathing and body, the next step came naturally to him; in his head head he repeated, "I am in my desired reality. I am with (Y/N)." He continued to repeat this step until he felt himself become lighter, as if some force above him was trying to suck his soul out of his body. 

He didn't even need to consciously decide that he was going to move on to the following step because next thing he knew, he was chilling under a luscious, tall tree during summer time, in an endless, gorgeously-green field. His phone was in his hand but when he glanced down to look at the screen, it didn't seem like he was currently doing anything on it other than admiring his lock screen - which was a picture of (Y/N) in her school outfit, of course.

His was just about to input his password and scroll through Instagram or something, but he clearly wasn't quick enough about it because before he even got the chance, a familiar figure zoomed by the tree, instantly catching Hinata's eye as the girl let out a distinct giggle that he was able to recognise in his sleep. "(Y/N)!" He chirped, the relaxation leaving his body and hastily being replaced by adrenaline as he hopped to his feet to chase after you, "Come back!" 

You simply kept running, unable to stifle the giggles in reaction to Hinata's adorable response to seeing you. Playfully, you looked over you shoulder and stuck your tongue out at the boy who seemed to be gaining on you at a rapid pace, "Catch me if you can, Shoyo~" You teased in your signature sing-songy tone.

Hinata felt an odd sensation around him, as if he was slipping - but his feet were still gracefully planting on the ground as he bolted after you. However, he ignored this feeling for now as his main focus was on catching you..until he realised, "Wait- how do you know my name?-"

He barely finished his sentence before he watched you plummet down a hole in the ground that seemed to have appeared from nowhere. He was ready to bawl his eyes out at sight, until he heard your sweet laugher echo through the hole and out the top; "Follow me, Shoyo!"

Hinata blinked rapidly as he stared into the hole which simply seemed like an endless abyss to him, was he seriously just gonna freefall into god-knows-what just to follow you? HELL YEAH! He dolphin dived straight into that bitch and did fucking summersaults and shit on his way down, he was ecstatic to meet you and he wasn't about to let a bitch-ass hole get in his way.

However, he started to slightly regret his decision when he realised that he had been falling for an abnormal amount of time - he didn't have a watch on or anything but if he had to guess, he'd been falling for like a minute straight. At first it was fun but now it was just getting weird. Yes, he's a virgin so he doesn't have an excessive amount of experience with hole but he was like 90% sure that this wasn't normal.

Just as that thought occurred to him though, he felt his side thump against the hardwood floor of the room he just landed in - again, not an expert on holes - but he was shocked that he managed to fall from such a distance and not even sustain a bruise! He almost got blunt trauma from Kageyama 'mistaking' his head as a ball so this was quite impressive for him. 

His sense of pride was short-lived though as it was soon replaced by confusion as he took a moment to actually get up and look around the room he was currently standing in - it was all white, except for the floor which was the same oak colour as the floor in his room. And the only things in the room, other than himself, was a small white table with a bold, black key on it - and not a normal house key either, like one of those keys from the cartoons with only three bits and no key wards. 

Oh, and the door. How could I forget the door? The absolutely colossal fuckin' gothic door that was on the wall opposite Hinata and was like 3 times bigger than the tangerine himself. 

Hinata took a moment to look around the room to make sure this wasn't a trap, he was desperate to see you though so he only took like 3 seconds analysing the rest of the boring room before taking the key and plugging it into the exuberant door, twisting it 3 times anti-clockwise before he heard a click and the door swung upon, almost taking Hinata with it. 

A bright light shone through the  other side of the door, making Hinata immediately squint and hiss in reaction. Then, he heard a familiar voice snicker in front of him, "Hi, Shoyo~" You greeted the boy, cocking your head to the side slightly as you patiently waited for him to retract his hands so you could get a good look at his face for the first time - well, the first time while you were both in the same reality. 

He moved his hands away from his face and as soon as he realised who was standing in front of him, he was unable to contain his excitement and he basically threw himself into your arms, "(Y/N)!" He exclaimed, his voice cracking out of sheer joy. "Is it really you?- I mean- you feel really but, uh.." he was at a loss for words as he was sure that it was you who he was holding in his arms right now, but he wanted to know it was..you you.

A light pink blush tickled the tips of your ears at his sudden act of affection - did he really like you that much? I mean, you loved him too but his reaction was so authentic and it really seemed like he was ready to burst into tears any second now. "Um, yeah, it's really me." His head was buried deep into your neck but it was clear by your voice that you were smiling. Grabbing both his shoulder, you pushed him back so you could see his face and make direct eye-contact with him.

Okay, now that you could see your reflection in his stunning eyes that you longed to meet for so long, so began to understand why he was so emotional about this - in fact, you kinda felt your own eyes start to gloss over as well. Your breath escaped you but you still managed to croak out a, "I-Is that really you, Hinata?" 

He nodded rapidly, a few of his crystal tears flying off his chin in the process - "I've.." he stammered, inhaling sharply as he felt himself become faint from a lack of breath. "I've always want to meet you, (Y/N). Look! I even-" he felt up is pockets in search of his phone to show you his lock screen but then it hit him like a truck - he had dropped his phone at the tree when he was chasing you! And obviously, he didn't stop to pick it up. No regret tbh but he did mutter a faint 'shit' under his breath.

You ignored the last part, choosing to focus on the fact that he was finally here with you  - however, you knew you couldn't be too happy just yet. He had to carry out the final step before he could complete the shifting process, so you stepped aside and led him over to his bed that stood at the right-hand side of his room; just like it did in real life! In fact, the room you had led him into was just an exact replica of his own room..kinda embarrassing since it had your face decorated all over it but oh well. "Please lie down." You requested.

He obeyed, plopping himself down on the bed and cuddling up to his (Y/N) body pillow just like he always did when he first gets into bed. "Alright." He chirped, closing his eyes while trying to wipe away the foolishly large grin that was plastered on to his face. "This is the part where I fall asleep, right?" 

You nodded, a sweet smile gracing your lips as you crouched down beside his bed, stroking his arm and sending him a reassuring look. "Yes, you are correct." You couldn't help but giggle at how robotic you sounded, "If it helps, I could sing you a song. A lullaby~?"

Hinata blushed at the offer but he knew fine well that if you did that he'd have a wet dream and probably ruin the shift. Obviously, he wasn't going to admit that though so he made up the best excuse that he could. "No thanks, (Y/N). I sleep better in silence." 

You hummed understandingly, getting back onto your feet before you advanced towards the door, looking over your shoulder to admire how peaceful the tangerine looked on his bed. "Well, if that's the case, It'd be better if I left for now." You explained, halting in your tracks once you reached the door. "Don't worry, though, I'll be right by your side when you wake up. Sleep tight, Shoyo." You cooed, exiting the room and gently closing the door behind you, leaving Hinata in the silence he requested.

_____________________

Hinata woke up feeling groggy as usual, but that quickly faded as he heard a melodious sound from above him. Without wasting another second, his eyes shot open and met with your soft, (e/c) ones above him. You shot him a sweet smile as you stopped singing to greet him, "Good morning, Hinata. You slept like a baby!" You'd been waiting to make that comment ever since he hit REM sleep because you couldn't but admire how deep of a sleeper he was. "I mean, I carried you from your room all the way here and you didn't even show any signs of being awake."

Hinata rubbed his eyes to properly inspect what was going on - clearly, you were above where his head rested which was..ON YOUR THIGHS!?..You thought his head was gonna shoot up? Hell no. He's waited way too long for this. Yes, his eyes did widen and his cheeks did flush at the realisation but like hell was he going to move his head, he was staying put right where he was, thank you very much. 

Anyway, he glanced down to see what his legs were resting on and he concluded that y'all were on the couch while..pancakes were cooking? The sweet scent of the treat filled his nostrils and almost made him salivate - or maybe that was to do with the lap thing, wasn't too sure - but he was starving so of course he had to point it out in hopes that you'd offer him some. "What's that smell?" He took in a large whiff on the syrupy scent, involuntarily making his eyes roll back in his head in pleasure, "Are those pancakes?!"

You giggled, your eyes staying glued to his hair that you were currently playing with and putting into little ponytails. "Yep. I made them just for you." You placed a kiss on his forehead before removing your hands from his soft, ginger hair, having finished putting in the hair-ties. "C'mon, let's eat."

Hinata nodded enthusiastically, excited to try the food you had made for him but also missing the feeling of you thighs press against the back of his neck and you finger gently caressing his scalp as he sat up to follow you to where ever the treats were. "Really?!" He exclaimed, hot on your trails as you turned to enter the oh-so familiar dining room that he had already seen in multiple pages of this '(Y/N)'s Quick Fame' mangas. And there, on the dining table was a huge stack of at least 7 pancakes, covered in glorious, dripping syrup, fork and knife at either side, ready for him to dig in. 

So that's exactly what he did. He rushed over to the table, fell back into the chair in front of the pancakes and tucked in - he was way too hungry to hesitate.

A smile tickled the tips of lips as you strolled over to the table, taking the seat opposite Hinata and quickly got lost in a trance, watching Hinata's charming little face as he gobbled down the pancakes at an ungodly pace. "I- Slow down, Hinata!" You whined, waving your hand in front of his face in order to grab his attention, "I don't want you choking before our first.." your voice trailed off, thinking of what would be appropriate thing to say in this situation while Hinata stared at you with hopeful eyes. "...our first kiss!" 

Hinata laughed, a few chunks of pancake flying out his mouth like a fountain in process before he went back to scoffing up the delectable pancakes sat in front of him. In the blink of an eye, he sat his fork and knife down with a lil' clink which went along cutely with the faint ah that escaped his lips, as he laid back in his chair, placing a hand on his full stomach - a cheesy grin on his face, "I'm stuffed. That was delicious, thank you so much." He would've yelled that but his sugar-coated throat didn't allow him to do so. "You're the best, (Y/N) - I should've shifted earlier."

You hummed in agreement, patting your thighs as an indication that you wanted him to come sit on your lap, "Yeah, that would've been nice - honestly, this sounds pretty lame but I've been praying to meet you for ages, Hinata." You croaked, to shy to make eye-contact hence your gaze dropped to your feet.

Hinata's throat went dry, his mouth slightly agape as he tried to process what you just said because surely he must be hearing you wrong. "Seriously?!" He almost squealed, jumping to his feet and sprinting over to your side of the table, promptly taking a seat next to you, copying the motion that you did to show that he wanted you to sit on his lap.

Obliging, you shuffled off your chair to nuzzle your rear nicely in between his crotch area and his stomach, reaching up to  ruffled his perfectly-done hair, "Yeah, of course. I've-" You paused, not really sure if you wanted to admit the follow but upon remembering that Hinata's room was literally filled to the brim with your face, you figured that it couldn't be too bad embarrassing to say; "I've..got a shirt with your number on it, especially for you." You lowered your voice, scared that Hinata would find it creepy but once you finally built up the courage to look back at him, you saw the massive smile and light blush that dusted his cheeks.

"That's adorable, (Y/N)!" Hinata chuckled, snaking his arms around your waist and giving you a brief squeeze, burying his nose into you the crook of your neck, unable to fight the urge to leave a little nibble on it. "Now I don't have to give you my shirts - I mean, I would if you want me to."

You crinkled your nose in delight and surprise at his reaction which was oddly positive, "Awh, yeah, I guess." You mumbled, feeling your eyes getting heavy so you spun around so that you were now straddling Hinata, as you rested your head on his shoulder. "Sorry, Hinata." You yawned, "I just- I'm so tired."

Hinata nodded, thinking that you looked gorgeous even when you were tired but it was had for him to prevent a blush creeping onto his face as he felt his bulge rub against your clothed crotch, "I get it. Fall asleep in my arms~" he joked, absent tracing circles up and down your back. 

You hummed in agreement while your face was buried in his neck, the vibrations from that rushing down his spine and making a certain area twitch. "Yeah, and when I wake up, we'll go on an adventure. How does that sound?" You inquired, already half-sleep.

"Perfect."

[troop-scoop]

Mistakes & Regrets I

Summary: When a trip to your Dad’s hometown of Hawkins goes wrong, you end up in the year 1983, and have to learn how to cope with being stuck in the past.

Pairing: Steve Harrington / Future!Reader (Slow Burn)

A/n: This is my first stranger things fic, I’ve done other fandoms, and i’ve been itching to get this idea out, let me know if you liked the first part, and if you want to be tagged! (Pls be nice, i’m shy lol) (Also, I had this on a side blog, that I decided to bring to my main blog)

•••

The 1980’s were weird, that was your final opinion. Mainly because it was so much like home, they had phones, they dressed almost like you were used to, they had music you’d grown up on, like The Clash and Elton John, but a lot of the songs that were decades older than you, were new to them.

And while you knew every lyric to ‘The Safety Dance’ and ��Come on Eileen’ everyone around you was still trying to learn them, and would jumble them from time to time. But at the young age of two, you were dancing along to The Clash while your dad laughed and danced with you.

Knowing that some songs you loved wouldn’t come out for up to twenty years later made you upset, not being able to listen to Nirvana. Suddenly you wanted to be in the car, listening to your dad try to sing along to Ed Sheeran or Taylor Swift. It was always amusing seeing his reaction to the newest songs on the radio while he drove you to school.

There was another thing about this time period that you found weird. They actually had lockers. All of the lockers from your school had been taken out in the late 90’s when a kid hid a gun and drugs in his, so no one had lockers except for in the locker room. So having to remember two different combos was a pain in your ass.

“L/n!”

A heavy sigh escaped your nose as your lips went thin in fake annoyance even though he hadn’t fully approached you.

“What do you want, Harrington?” You questioned, turning from the open grey locker to see him just a few feet away.

He gave you a look of fake offense as he leaned against the locker next to yours a hand over his on his chest, sadly were the latch of your own was, so you couldn’t use the door as a shield,

“Hey, now, who said I wanted anything? I just wanna talk to my friend.”

You were kind of friends. He was nice, at least to you. Though you’d seen him be a douchebag to other students. The cliche you’d seen in a movie of highschool. The popular guy who only cared about popularity and the people he was around. And you didn’t know why he thought you were a good person to be around, because when you were six you accidently set your curtains on fire while the babysitter fell asleep. And you were pretty sure you gave off ‘crazy bitch’ vibes.

You turned back to the locker and shook your head, grabbing your English textbook and looking back to him, a hand holding onto the door while you leaned into it. “Okay, why do you want to talk to me?” You questioned with a fake smile.

“Alright, grumpy. Tommy H, Carol, and I wanna hang out at yours tonight. My parents don’t leave for three more days, and  Carol’s mom hates Tommy, and you know how Tommy’s dad is.” He explained, looking down at you.

You hummed in amusement. “Not happening.” You responded, grabbing the hood of his hoodie and placing it in his locker, closing the door in on it. “Have fun.”

“Y/n!” He exclaimed in a sudden panic at being stuck in your locker, not being able to pull himself loose. “This isn’t funny, I will tell Mrs. Click!” He threatened as you stepped back, a genuine grin on your face as you looked up at him.

“A tattle tale? Didn’t think you’d stoop that low, and also, Mrs. Click? You think I’m scared of my History teacher? She’s afraid of saying ‘Wench’ out loud while we reading historical texts. She’s not intimating.”

Steve nodded a bit in thought. “Yeah… Okay, maybe I didn’t think that through, I’ll go to principal-”

“If I get suspended, I get suspended.” You shrugged. “Find a way to get me something to listen to music on, and something that has music on it, and then I’ll let you go.”

“Are you… Are you bribing me? Y/n L/n is bribing me? The new girl is bribing me.” He said in awe, still grasping onto his hoodie, looking at you with his mouth agape and his eyebrows raised.

When you only tilted your head he groaned, pulling on the cotton material. “Fine, Walkman or Record Player?”

“Hmm… Walkman.” You replied.

“Queen or Blondie?” He questioned, a smile coming across your face as you reached up to the lock.

“Both.”

Steve rolled his eyes as you unlocked your locker, setting him free. “That wasn’t fair, you look innocent.” He grumbled.

You mimicked his eye roll, closing the locker and walking away through the hall. ‘Fair’ being repeated in your head. Nothing was fair anymore to you. You’d been normal, just an annoying kid who was obsessed with Grey’s Anatomy, and history. That was what you had to your name. Your friends had once watched the bad uneducational tv show with you just to try and understand your obsession, you dad even had given it a chance, only saying that most of the characters were annoying.

But you only had history now. And some of the things you were supposed to learn in AP European history haven’t even happened yet. And it was freaking you out.

What was freaking you out more? Knowing you had a ‘classmate’ in your History class, who sat next to you, and was your relative. Your dad’s brother.

Sitting next to him was strange. Because he was your uncle. He’d been the one who bought you your first bike, and watched you fall off and break your wrist after your dad had let go of the bike.

To say that being his partner on a history project was weird, was an understatement. Because the entire time you felt like hitting your head against the desk, because he didn’t really change.

“What’s so important about a quote?”

“Are you serious?”

“As serious as the Titanic.” You responded, brows furrowed.

He stayed quiet for a moment. “I don’t know.” He admitted, receiving a chuckle from you as you watched him flip through the book. “I don’t even understand this project.”

“Come on, we have to choose a quote from a historical piece of fiction, We were assigned Romeo and Juliet.” You said grabbing your book and flipping to a certain page. “Romeo, oh Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?” You teased, knowing that the page you were on didn’t have that in there.

The boy was technically older than you, but right now, you were the same age, and he was shaking his head with a smile. “It’s like she wanted him to be stalking her.” He responded.

“What?”

“She’s asking where he is.” He shrugged. “It’s weird, cause he still doesn’t come out when she asks that.”

“That’s not what she means. It’s early modern English. Phrases were different. She’s asking why he has to be Romeo. In modern words it’d be ‘Romeo, oh Romeo, why does it have to be Romeo.’ She’s upset because the guy she likes is in the enemy’s family.”

The boy looked at you, eyes scanning your face for a moment, looking for any hint of you joking, but he didn’t he finally spoke. “You could teach this class better than her.” He said in a hushed voice to make it so Mrs. Click didn’t hear.

“No-”

“L/n!” The two of you snapped your attention to the older woman who was scowling. “Back to work!”

You rolled your eyes and looked back to him as the bell rang. “That’s our cue.”

The 80’s were weird, and you didn’t like them. What with being so similar to home. With your uncle in the same history class as you, and being close to your dad, but older than him and not seeing him as your dad. And knowing people around you who were almost Baby Boomers, and in your time, would reprimand you for the jokes you made and your views of the world.

Being 16 in your time had been easier, able to cheat off websites for homework, and texting, which seemed to have been taken for granted by you.

Here, you couldn’t say you didn’t have a mom, but rather two dads. Because it was the 80’s and you knew the comments you’d get. You also couldn’t say your full name. That the dad you were genetically related to was the one who gave you the second last name that your uncle had and everyone would question it, and it pained you not being able to go by it, because he’d taught you more things than anyone else ever had. He’d taught you how to ride a book, and said that he’d be disappointed if you ever got ditching class, and that if you were going to do it, not to get caught for his sanity.

You would regret ever coming to this town with him, and you would regret the choice to ever run out of Enzo’s after your other dad yelled at you for being drenched from the rain after you ran in, finding that it was a formal restaurant and not a casual one. You’d regret going into the woods and getting lost, because all you wanted, was to be held by your dad and have him tell you it was going to be okay, You wanted to hear him walking down the hall late at night when he couldn’t sleep and you were hiding under your blankets with your phone, tying not to get caught for being up late.

But you had the fear that you’d never see your dad, as your dad. That you’d have to continue growing up in a time that has been written in history books. That you’d have to watch as technology progressed, and that you’d be conscious and aware for the year you were born.

You were still a kid, even if you didn’t look like it. Just six year ago, you’d been in elementary school, and you still got nightmares and went to your dads’ room because you were still scared of sleeping alone. You hadn’t been since, until now. You could barely sleep at night in the unfamiliar room of the motel you were living in, without your parent’s room down the hall.

But you were trying. And you wanted to redo everything, if you could build a time machine, you would. But that hadn’t even been available in your time, let alone 83’.

[boogiewrites]

No.9: The Body

Chapter Two

Characters: Diego Hargreeves & OFC Eve Corpuz

Summary: Eve, once a rebellious runaway had turned her life around through the help of others to now be a doctor. She tries to return the favor these days. When a mysterious man keeps popping up in her life, what will her natural talent for healing become when it finally meets someone else with abilities like hers? Diego begins to suspect there’s something amiss with the doctor that’s been helping him...

Warnings/Tags: Injury/Blood/Medical. Nothing too graphic. Banter. Some KLAUS!

Click on my icon then go to my Mobile Masterlist in my bio for my other works and chapters. Please like, comment and reblog if you enjoyed it! It helps out us writers A LOT! If you’d like added to the tags, just let me know. This is a multi-chapter fic.

Another evening to herself, as per usual, this time she’d taken the initiative to reheat her leftovers instead of stuffing them cold into her face in front of the fridge. With headphones in, she bobbed, moving loosely around the kitchen without a care. This is probably why the sudden appearance of the same stranger, if you could even call him that at this point, threw her entirely off track as she launched the spatula in her hand to his bent figure, holding himself up on her kitchen counter.

“WHAT THE FUCK?!” Eve yells and she stumbles back against the opposite counter, headphone dangling around her neck as she fumbles blindly into a nearby drawer for a knife out of panic, “WHY ARE YOU IN MY APARTMENT? WAIT...HOW?”

“Ow.” is his response as his nose streams a tiny bit of blood into his facial hair.

“Sorry but I'll do it again if you try anything!”

“It’s ME!” he says clearly showing his face and motioning up and down to himself.

���That’s a little vague don’t you think?” she says back loudly, eyes still clearly wild.

“Sorry I- just needed help. I’m not gonna hurt you. I...kinda can’t right now.” he groans and she sees the blood covering most of his stomach now.

“Oh, shit, dude why didn’t you go to the hospital?”

“Well, you weren’t there were you?”

“Fuck’s sake,” she says holding her hand to her chest to feel her heart racing as she tried to calm down. She takes a deep breath, switching off the stovetop as she approached him. “You couldn’t have knocked?”

“Not really my thing…:”

“Neither is common sense it seems,” she mumbles and he grunts as she tries to examine him. “How did you know where I live?” she narrows her eyes at him. He was covered in sweat and clearly in a lot of pain from his pale face.

“Followed you.”

“Why were you following me?”

“You're the only real doctor I can trust. I needed your help didn’t I?” he sighs and slouches again, raising his shirt up to show multiple chunks missing.

“You need help alright. Shit…” she says moving to find her gloves in a cabinet. “Go...get in the bathtub, I’ll treat you there. Let me grab you some clothes.”

Only a nod and grunt in response as he headed into the bathroom.

She hands a pair of sweats and an old t-shirt that’ll easily fit him into the bathroom. “Leave your shirt off.” she says as she grabs her supply bag.

“I get that a lot.”

She lets a smile show as the door blocks their view of each other. He was a smart ass even in the middle of pain. She could relate to that. “I’m sure you do. Now let me know when I can come in.” A grunt serves as an answer and she enters, moving to help him and make as small of a mess as possible. An understanding of quiet rests between them as she works.

“NNGH--” he groans and bares his teeth as she digs to pull a slug out of his side. The damage was worse than she thought once she got closer. He hears the clatter of bullet pieces hit the metal bowl she has on the toilet next to the tub.

“Okay, Champ. You’re taking the pain well, the pills will kick in in a little bit.” She says sympathetically.

“You’re... good at this y’know.” he gives her a nod as she sews him up, a gentle touch despite being stabbed with a needle repeatedly.

“I’d hope so.” she lets out a huff of a laugh. “Thanks.” she offers up in politeness as they settle into a comfortable back and forth, the tension from before now gone as she was focused. AS she finished, she says, “I was wondering…?”

“Mmm?”

“Whats the bat cave-like? Does Bruce let you play with the toys?”

“Ha.” he gives in a deadpan delivery. “Very funny.” sarcastic heavy as always in their tone, but he actually meant it.

“Alright. That’s got you sewed up. This could’ve gone south really fast. Y’know.”  she says with more concern in her voice. “Since I keep saving you...can I know your name now? In case you kill me,  at least my ghost can try to solve the crime from behind grave. That  seems like a pretty cool afterlife.”

“Yeah, I’d watch that show.” He gives a grimace that was mean to be a smile. “I’m not gonna kill you,” he says defensively. “...M’Diego.” he sighs outs as she helps him stand. He already felt... better somehow. Maybe it was the pills.

“Oh, a little crime fighter like those kids in the 90’s huh?”

“Yeah..” he groans and averts his eyes.

“Sorry.” she chuckles. “You’re the only Diego I’ve ever met. Bad comparison?” she offers, nos wiping his face off with a cool cloth and he’s caught off guard by her closeness in his low blood leveled state.

“Nah he’s… okay, I guess,” he mumbles.

“I’ll clean this up, you go chill on the couch and I’ll be there in a second okay?”

“Kay.” He weakly answers. As soon as she turns on the showerhead to wash out the blood, he stumbles as he tries to support himself and she catches him.

“You are hurt bad aren’t you?” She says with real concern in her eyes and she helps him to the couch despite his weak protests to the contrary.  “Here.” she says helping him with his shirt then laying a blanket around his shoulders. “So...Diego…” she says, hands on her hips. “Tell me…” she pauses as he settles. “...do you like Chinese food?”

“Not where I thought you were going with that…”

“Well do you? You wanna eat?” she asks again moving into the kitchen.

“Weirdly, yeah.” he answers, eyes following her as she moved to go back to her former task of reheating food.

“This will help you deal with those pain pills easier. Soak it up a bit, instead of a straight shot of it.” she continues to feel him staring into her back as she moves around.

“Uh...thanks,” he says softly as she sits next to him on the couch.

“I’ll bill you later.”

He gives a tired smile and resituates to eat.

“You’ve lost a lot of blood. I would keep you for observation if we were at the hospital.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Gunshots are no joke. You’re lucky it didn’t nick your intestines.”

“That’s me... lucky.”

“Seems so…” she mumbles before pushing more noodles in her mouth. She watches him eat, good appetite for just getting shot, that was for sure.

“Not bad.” he says with a mouthful and a glassy look in his eyes that makes her chuckle.

“Help yourself if you want more. I have to get some sleep.” she stands and takes her plate with her.

“Oh, okay..well..uh...thanks..again.”

“Nah, nah, champ.” she says, a single hand keeping him on the couch.”You’re staying here. Because I don’t want you dying out there, alright?”

“I actually feel pretty g-”

“It’s the medication talking, you need to rest. But know...There are no weapons in this room but I have a gun in my bedroom and if you try anything I will not hesitate to use it.”

“Yes ma’am.” he nods and gives an almost cocky smile.

“Good.” she nods. “I have work and I’ll be up around 3, there are blankets and pillows all over in here, you’ll be able to get comfortable, just try not to bleed all over the couch if you can help it.”

“I’ll do my best... and if I think I’m dying?”

“Try to let me know so you don’t ruin the furniture please.”

He grins and gives an understanding nod. “I think I'll be fine.” he says through a yawn.

“Time’ll tell.” She stands one the doorway to her bedroom. “Night Diego. Don’t make me regret my hospitality.”

“I haven’t yet have I?”

“Jury’s still out. Get some rest.”

He waves a dismissive hand to her as he lays down on the couch. He seriously did feel better. Better than he should, he thought. But he was tired, and quickly that became his main focus. --------------

A tired but becoming more alert by the second Eve wafting her tea in front of Diego’s sleeping face. He looked almost childish despite the heavy 5 o clock shadow. His strong cheek and jaw gave an almost round appearance to his face. The smoosh of his cheek definitely didn’t hurt him looking less threatening.

“Diego.” She whispers as he begins to twitch. “Tea?”

“What’s..” he begins and quickly stops, looking around the room. “Oh. Uh, yeah.” He clears his throat and without much pain dramatization, he sat up and rubbed his face, taking the mug.

She sits with her mug clasped between her hands, on the other end of the couch

“This...what is this? It’s not good.”

She chuckles and looks his way.” It’s black breakfast tea. It has a little caffeine. Thought you could use it.”

He nods and looks into the mug, brow low but she couldn’t tell if it was from sleep or thinking.

“I’m gonna be leaving soon. If you don’t feel up to it, you don’t have to go. Since you can clearly break-in I figure there’s no point in telling you you have to leave.” She sips. “But I would request you don’t steal my stuff.”

“I’m not gonna steal anything.” he sleepily insists.

“I appreciate it.”  They sit as she enjoys her tea and the low noise from outside, the crossing of people just going to bed late, and others riding early are all that fills the quiet apartment.

“You’re a Doctor…”

“Uh huh.” She looks his way a bit confused at the sudden obvious statement

“You don’t act like any doctor I’ve known before. They’re usually dicks.”

“I try hard not to be a dick. So I’ll take that as a compliment”

“I mean, it was I guess. But you’re smart right? You gotta be to know all the...doctor stuff right?”

“Yes, college, med school, internships, residencies...did it all. I like to entertain the idea that I’m smart, yeah.”

“But...you’re being like… really, nice.” There's a Pause as she sees this as a rhetorical statement. “I mean you lied to the cops to help me.” He grins a bit and looks her way, breaking his thoughtful stare into nothing. “Why?”

She considers it a moment, looks twitching as she takes another drink. “I think...you remind me of me.” She answers and it’s one he didn’t expect. “I’ve been… maybe not in the same circumstances as you but I’ve at least been through some of the same consequences you have it seems. I’ve been injured and on the run. I would’ve really liked it if someone had given me the benefit of the doubt back then. So... I try to believe the best in people because that’s what I needed too.” It was an honest and heartfelt answer.

“You’ve been shot?”

“Shot AT.”

“But stabbed?”

“Stabbed? Yes.”

“What were you into? Tattoos make me think gang but none are from any I know.”

“I had some gang-related ones but I was never really, IN one ya know? I’ve got them covered up. It’s been a while since I’ve been that girl.”

“Seems like you’re still her to me.”

“How's that?”

“Wanted criminal hiding out and getting patched up in your apartment. You’re an accessory at least. Lying to the cops. Seems like you’re still her.” He picks at her but she doesn’t feel like he’s being judgemental. Not that he had the right to be.

“Yeah or maybe I’m just bad at making good decisions. Book sense and no common sense.”

“Nah. You’re plenty smart.”

“Thanks.” A calm smile is Shared briefly before they go back to their tea.  “Can I ask you personal questions now?” She means his way slightly.

“Shoot.”

“What do you do that keeps you getting hurt?”

“That is personal.”

“Well if you’ve done it this time and you’ve been in my ER twice, chances are you’re going to be interrupting my evening again, Hmm?”

“You are smart.”

“So for not just my safety, but also so I can effectively deny and deflect for either of us, can I know? I’m also plain old nosey at this point.”

“That’s… you’ve got a fair point.” He shrugs. “I’m a… private eye. Investigator.”

“I’ve not had one PI come in with injuries like yours.”

“Maybe I’m just a really good one and they aren’t.”

This makes her let out a laugh. “How could I have not considered that?” She rolls her eyes. “Are you a hitman? Because you dress like one. That or one hood away from a gimp.”

“Hey. My leather is NICE alright? Functional, stylish. Let’s people know what I’m about.”

“Wouldn’t a PI want to blend in?”

“Not one like me.”

“So you’re… self-employed? I don’t want to be involved in any government level bullshit alright?”

“Yeah people come to me when they need things… looked into.”

“You really sound like a hitman.”

“A vigilante. I’m the good guy. I help people with bad guys. Kay? I don’t go out looking to kill people.”

“They're certainly looking to kill you though.” She offers with an upturned hand as she rises.

“Yeah, the industry Christmas parties are real awkward.”

“Is the game always “dirty Santa” every year?”

He gives a small huff of amusement her way. “Yeah, sure.”

“So Diego… Let’s see those bandages.” She claps her hands.

“You could just ask for me to take off my shirt you don’t have to make excuses.” He smirks.

She ignores him as she’s getting the feeling this is just part of his personality. “There’s no blood somehow so don’t touch them 'til tonight okay? Don’t get them wet. Re bandage after a shower okay? You healed up from last time nice so you clearly know how to handle aftercare for wounds.”

“Oh yeah. I’m a professional.”

“For both of our sakes, I hope so.” She tugs his shirt back into place.

—

After she left, Diego was left alone and his curiosity got the better of him. Not liked he tried to fight the urge to go through Eve’s stuff in her absence, old habits die hard. —------- With his bloody clothes in tow, Diego makes his way to the apartment over the gym he and Luther now owned together. He’d bought out his old haunt, they met with branding people Allison suggested and he’d hated it all. He just wanted a place to train. Luther was thinking more business and long term, stability. Things Diego didn’t spend much time considering.

“Why are you in my apartment?” He barks out as Klaus sits with his feet up on Diego’s coffee table.

“I could ask you why you WERENT in your apartment.” He looks him over, piecing the story together. “You didn’t come back after a job, but you don’t look hurt, and you’re wearing...not your own clothes. But definitely no sex because you don’t have that puppy look in your eyes.”

“HEY! Stop acting like you know everything...and I don’t look like a puppy.”

“Yeah, that’s a definite no on the one-night stand option.”

He begins to throw Eve’s unisex clothing items off as he heads towards the shower.

“Diego? Have you ever done a… Fun Run for children’s charity before?”

“What the-? No, why?”

“Then why does your shirt claim otherwise?” Klaus holds up the old participation shirt Diego had been wearing.

“Why do you have to be so goddamn nosey. Why are you even here?”

“Five wanted a meeting tonight.”

“Ugh! Why?”

“Oh, you know him...probably something apocalyptic.”

“We agreed to no jokes about that. I get fuckin….it bothers me, man.”

“Alright, I don’t know why. He’s been very up his own ass the past few days.”

“When is he not?”

“Some people like it up the ass Diego. Don’t knock it til you’ve tried it.”

“Do you ever shut up?”

“I believe I’ve been told no but I couldn’t really hear them over my talking.”

“What do you WANT?”

“To know where you were.”

“I was busy.” he flatly answers.

“And with what,  pray tell?”

“The takedown went sideways. I got shot. I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Look at that almost.. 2 and a half pack there.” Klaus points to Diego’s torso with fresh pink scars he assumed were far older and that his brother was, once again, is full of shit. “You seem to be doing just fine now.”

“Yeah...that’s kinda why I was gone.” Diego lets his hands run over the healed wounds on his stomach.

“Where’d you even get shot? I don’t see anything but reminders of your shortcomings.” He tickles at a scar on Diego’s side.

“Quit it.” He slaps Klaus’ hands away. “I got shot last night. Here. Like I said, and you would’ve heard that if you were listening.”

“I think someone got rufied and they’re too scared to admit it. It happens to the best of us b-“

“No. I know what I’m talking about! It was here. Now it’s healed.”

Klaus blinks thoughtfully at the spot his brother is furiously pointing to. “Where the fuck is it then?” he asks with a hand on his hip.

“There’s this doctor-”

“Pretty good fuckin’ doctor!”

“Right?! It’s happened twice now! I didn’t know if I was losin’ it or what the first time. But this healed even faster this time.”

“So we talkin’...aliens? Medical science experiments on the public?”

“That’s where I went to first-” he says seriously and Klaus rolls his eyes. “But she’s-”

“Oh SHE?”  he asks rhetorically in surprise. “Nice. Girl power." he holds up an ignored fist of solidarity.

Diego continues as if he hadn’t been interrupted. “I’ve checked her out man-”

“Bet ya have…” Klaus mutters.

“...she’s... normal. I can’t find shit on her.”

“Well as normal as having healing powers goes…”

Diego’s eyes shoot wide to his brothers whose body language of casual contemplation is opposite of Deigo’s.

“You think she..?”

“At this point, why the fuck not? I mean with…” he clears his throat as the delicate subject of Lila comes up. “She who will not be named... she had them... we didn’t know about her. Stranger things have happened.”

“Nah she’s not..” he begins but Klaus quickly sees the wheels turning in his brother's darting eyes.

“Is she not?” he offers with squinted eyes. “I mean if you’d done your detective work as well as you say you have-”

“I HAVE!”

“Then it seems as if it’s one of the more plausible options out of the bunch, hmmm?”

Diego says nothing but considers the advice. “I need to find out...but how.” a bit of an overdramatic delivery in Klaus’s opinion of the cliche line, but he answered with his usual cautiously optimistic tone when he gave this particular sibling advice. He was such a sensitive boy, after all, under all that leather.

“I have this wild idea... now here me out... but what if you...ya with me still? Good. Now, what if you… just ask her.” he delivers with a swing of his hand.

“Oh, hey!” Diego mocks the plan. “Yeah, do you happen to have superpowers?” he stops his mocking tone. “Because that would go SO well.”

“Ya either do somethin’ or ya don’t Diego. I’m overdue for a good sweat and this vibe you’re bringing in my space-”

“This is MY apartment!” he shouts.

“..my personal, space, is far too uptight for my brand right now so I’m gonna leave.”

“Good! That's what I’ve wanted this whole time. Thank you!”

“No problem, babe. You know I’d do anything for you, right?” he leans against the door frame with batting eyes only to add a bit more red onto the annoyed man’s face.

Diego reaches for the nearest object, “GetOutYouLittle-UNG!” he grunts as he throws it at Klaus’ head it’s caught with the door as he rushed it shut.

@jaegeeeeer​ @s-h-e-w-r-i-t-e-s​

[oldsoldierr]

The Carnation ~ Part 7

summary: the media always told you that the famous art critic bucky barnes is an arrogant, rude playboy and you agree, but something still draws you to him. is there a deeper reason to why he acts the way he does or is he the class A jackass you first met?

art critic!bucky x artist!reader

word count: 2.1k

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With a shaky breath Bucky continued. “I love you.”

He pulled the trigger.

The gunshot echoed through the apartment complex, leaving your ears ringing. It took all your strength not to scream. You had squeezed your eyes closed, bracing yourself for the pain. When it didn’t come you opened your eyes and looked around. You weren’t bleeding. 

The bullet had lodged itself in the floorboards. Bucky was collapsed on the ground, the weapon forgotten. You rushed towards his shaking figure and wrapped your arms around him.

“I’m so, so sorry. I just--a lot of things--and i don’t even know how--he’s gonna hurt her--” Bucky gulped in a breath. “I don’t know what I’m going to do now-- but I just couldn’t shoot you--i can’t lose,” A sob racked his body. “I can’t lose you. And it might be stupid--” 

“Hey, hey,” you shushed him and pulled away from the embrace.

“What happened? Who’s ‘he’?” The distraught brunette took a deep breath and fell against the wall. You quickly followed suit next to him.

“He--he, Brock Rumlow, my agent. He was waiting for me in my car when I left the art studio.” you sucked in a breath. “He threatened to kill my sister if I didn’t--” he bit his lip. “If I didn’t kill you by today.” You looked at him trying to fully understand what he was saying.

“Is that why you haven’t been coming to art?” you thought out loud. He gave you a solemn nod. 

“I don’t--I don’t know what I’m gonna do,” he said softly, with a new vulnerability. 

“I just, I can’t lose Becca or… or you.” His winter blue eyes looked into yours. You bit your lip in thought. You two sat in complete silence, heavy and defeated for what felt like hours when you had a sudden surge of emotion. You stood up.

“Maybe you don’t have to. At least, yet. Get up Barnes.” You extended a hand to Bucky. He looked up at you with confusion.

“What?” he questioned.

“We’re not giving up, not just yet. We’ve still got what--” you looked down at your watch. “We’ve got an hour. Let’s save your sister. No one has to die tonight. You in?” Bucky stared at you like you were crazy.

“But how? All we’ve got is a gun. I’ve thought this over a billion different ways, there’s no way,” He reasoned. “He probably already knows I couldn’t shoot you. He’s got eyes all over the city.”

“Well, I wasn’t here before. And look at it this way, if we fail then--” you sucked in a breath. “At least we can say we tried. Deal?” Bucky looked hesitant but eventually clasped his hand in yours and pulled himself up.

“But I need you to be safe. If you got hurt because of me, I--I couldn’t forgive myself.” He brushed his hand across your cheek.

“I’ll try my best,” you responded. You gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze. 

“We can do this. Do you trust me Bucky?” He looked you dead in the eye.

“Yeah, I really do.”

“Then we gotta hurry.” You sprang into action and pelted down the hall, Bucky close behind you. You reached the staircase. After just a few steps you realized how much this would slow you down.

“Shit,” you muttered.

“Wait, I have an idea.” Before you could react Bucky swooped you up, wedding style and jumped over the railing. You yelped.

“What the fuck!” You both landed surprisingly safe. You kept descending the steps as fast as you could. Bucky looked over at you and grinned. 

“I had a parkour faze when I was in highschool.” He looked a bit sheepish. You managed to heave out a laugh at that. It released a lot of the tension previously there. They reached the first floor in record time and got in Bucky’s car that had been carelessly placed in the middle of the lot. You clicked your seatbelt into place and asked, “How far is your sister’s place?” His eyes widened in realization.

“More than an hour,” he said as he started turning the car out of the parking lot. 

“But if I speed it should be around 30 minutes.” 

“Just for reference, how good are you at driving?” you tried, fearful of the answer. Bucky clicked his tongue.

“I guess we’ll see.” He pushed down on the pedal hard. Your head hit the head rest. You felt your breath leave your body.

“Bucky!” you yelped alarmed. He didn’t seem to hear you as he was focused on the road. The car sped along the road with the determination of someone who had nothing left to live for. 

After only a little time, you heard the police sirens behind you. In the rear view mirror you saw the blue and red lights spinning. Bucky just went faster. It turned out he was a decent driver, but all the same, the car swerved harshly dodging vehicles left and right. You thought you might be sick. 

The car was painted by the crimson and azure lights. 

It was a good thing that it was late at night when there were less people out and about, because if this was during daylight you most certainly would’ve gotten into a crash. 

The world flew past you in a blur. It began turning from tall industrial looking buildings to calmer suburbs. By now you had to be going at upwards of 90 miles per hour. It was terrifying but it gave you a rush. You heard the police speakers boom commands but you allowed yourself to relax a little bit. 

As you got further, you seemed to lose the police cars. You had pulled out your phone and had been tracking the amount of time it would take to get to your destination. The minutes were steadily decreasing.

Only a little bit left to go, you thought to yourself. 

What were you doing? The blinking icon on your phone screen was so close to the end of the line.

“Take a left, and in two blocks you will reach your destination,” the robotic voice informed. The car swerved hard again as your body slammed against the window of the car. You had never seen Bucky so determined. 

In barely any time at all you heard the same robotic voice. “You’ve reached your destination.” 

The car screeched to a halt. Bucky tripped out of the car and ran full sprint to the house. You followed him. He rapped on the door of the quaint white house.

“Becca! Becca, can you hear me?” He repeatedly pressed the doorbell. You stood behind him, craning your head to try and see anything through her curtained windows. You heard footsteps behind the door. 

The door swung open, revealing a brunette woman. She looked to be a little younger than Bucky, but she had the same baby blue eyes. She was dressed well, with a ruby dress and her hair curled. She had a full face of make-up to match. Bucky didn’t give her a chance to speak, instead engulfing her in a hug. She returned it but looked confused.

“Hey Buck, what’s up? Why are you here at--” she turned her head to get a look at the clock “--11:48 at night?”

“Sorry--god--I’m so glad you’re okay. I can explain later, but right now I just-- we need to go.” Bucky attempted to push her towards the car but she pulled away.

“Um, I’m glad to see you, but I’m kind of in the middle of something,” she responded tentatively.

“What--?” Before he could finish a figure appeared behind Becca through the door.

“Hey Becca, what’s going on?” A low, gravelly voice asked, leaning on the door frame with an unforgettable smirk.

“‘S nothing Brock, just my brother,” she told him as she inserted herself by Rumlow’s figure.

“Bucky, meet Brock.” She gestured between them. “My boyfriend.” Bucky felt his breath leave his body and squared his shoulders, lifting his chin.

“We’ve met before,” the brunette grunted. Brock smiled.

“Indeed we have. Baby, I know this is our date but could we invite them in? They look cold,” he suggested, with a look on his face that was icy calm. This is when Becca noticed you.

“Oh, hi, I’m so sorry, nice to meet you! You are…?” She took your hand and speedily shook it with both of hers.

“Oh, yeah, um, I’m y/n. I’m friends with Bucky. I’ve heard a lot about you. It’s nice to meet you too!” you attempted a fake cheery tone. It shook a little, being caught off guard.

“Sorry to bother you so late but um--” you glanced over at Bucky. “--you know what, it’s nothing--how was your day?” 

“Oh, was pretty good. Thanks for asking,” she responded with an unsuspecting smile. “Here,” she said, gesturing for you to come in. You nervously stepped inside. 

As you passed Brock he whispered into your ear, “It better be nothing.” You could feel the heat from his breath. Even as  he pulled back and you got out of his range, you felt his eyes follow you. Bucky seemed to notice as he pulled you to his side protectively. You didn’t miss the murderous glare that the brunette had given Rumlow. 

All of you seated yourselves on various couches and chairs around a round, glass coffee table. You could feel the uncomfort radiating off everyone, excluding Becca. The room was awkward and tension filled. Rumlow and Bucky eyed each other hostily. 

Becca seemed to sense this as she tried to start a conversation.

“So…”

“Hey Brock--'' Bucky interrupted, saying the other man’s name like a slur. “--How do you feel about backstabbing motherfuckers who try to murder people?” Yours eyes widened at the lack of tact. 

Subtle, you thought. Rumlow’s eyes narrowed but his lips parted in a small smile.

“Haven’t thought much about it, unfortunately. Now tell me, have you ever lost someone you loved?” Bucky looked like he could’ve ripped out his throat right then and there. Becca looked between them with confusion.

“I’m sorry, did I miss something?” she questioned.

“Nope.”

“Barely,” Both men said at the same time. Becca continued to observe them suspiciously.

“...Right.” The room filled with thick silence once more. She cleared her throat.

“Well, I’m gonna get something from the kitchen real quick,” she excused herself. Brock stood up a little too fast.

“I’ll come with you,” He told her.

“Oh, baby, you don’t need to,” Becca replied.

“No, no, I will,” He insisted. 

Bucky craned his neck to make sure they were out of sight and hearing range. Once he was confident they couldn’t hear, he scooched closer to you.

In a hushed whisper he asked, “Okay, what’s our plan? How do we get her out of here? Brock’s not going to let her out of his sight and she seems to trust him.” You stared at the floor in thought and fiddled with your fingers. 

You turned to look at him.

“I don’t know yet, but we’ll figure it out,” you responded passionately.

 Bucky’s winter blue eyes looked into yours, and neither of you seemed to be able to tear away. 

“Yeah...we’ll figure something out...” He trailed off as he glanced down and bit his lip. He brushed your hair out of the way and grasped your neck. Your heart was beating out of your chest.

“Tell me to stop,” he whispered lowly. You sat there, frozen, yet you were impossibly hot. You parted your lips slightly. He leaned in as your eyes fluttered close. His lips grazed your. You could nearly taste him. A scream shook you from your trance. You and Bucky turned towards the sound.

“Becca!” he shouted and bolted to the kitchen. You ran after him but not before looking at the clock. 

It was 12:00.

“Shit.” you followed Bucky into the kitchen. 

There you saw Brock with his back against the window, preparing to jump out at any moment. He had a tight grip on Becca, one arm around her neck, nearly strangling her, and a large chef’s blade pressed to her throat. 

Small droplets of blood were trickling down her body, disguised by her already scarlet dress. Her eyes were wide and panicked, but she didn’t dare move an inch. 

Brock had a cold, sharp smile, which was somehow more terrifying than if he had a crazed one. All the color had drained out of the brunette next to you.

“I’m a man of my word, Bucky boy.”

sorry this took forever ahaha :’) also sike nvm not finale take that i have a problem

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tags

@supernaturalwintersoldier​ @the-fifth-marauder101​

[shesawriter39049]

|FAMILY TIES| M| MAFIA AU| 5.1

MOB/MAFIA AU

(Can be read as a stand-alone...it’s a solo one-shot within a series.. BUT there will be subtel hints/foreshadowing which could be useful in the future chapters)

-NOTE- Tae is a HEALTHY lol shade of blonde now

UNDERBOSS TAE & OC

1.3K cheeky little sneak peek the full thing will be between 5-6k

There both sassy/snarky/and boujee AF

IF your new here....there both from Boston...the OC’S accent is A LOT thicker than Tae’s though....

****Tae and the OC are apart of the same alliance..and the pair are a slightly dysfunctional FWB situation that’s lowkey trying to transition into more…

ABOUT- While headed to the aiport for a trip to Vegas, to celebrate Tae’s restaurant’s grand opening, Mel lets Luxx know shit’s feelin a little off with one of their allies over in China. Then, Tae surprises Luxx, on the flight, they have slightly tipsy, needy sex in the bathroom of his PJ....with all of there friends sitting the main area...they also pop into Luxxy’s club at like 1am...were of course nothing’s going to plan!

***Mel is one of Luxx’s launders and Luxx is the OC’S NICKNAME, and Joon who is mentioned briefly is Luxxy’s bodyguard/right hand! ****

WARNINGS: In this sneak peek  just...dirty talk/phone sex ish but not really but kidna

FINAL NOTE (OPTIONAL) -If your familiar with the series your prob scratching your head as to why it’s 5.1 because your all waiting on part 5! BUT at the end of part 5, it will be noted that there's about a 3-month gap between 5-6..meaning shits kinda.. “normal” for a little while. So in between that...I decided if I had the time and inspo I’d write mini one shots..smut mixed in with plot. There will ALWAYS be mob influences..it’s just apart of there lifestyle. The point is nothing crazy(Shootouts don’t count..that’s noraml lol)  will take place during the gap between 5-6 ...

I'm starting with this because I haven't written about them in damn near 3 months! So this allows me to get reacquainted with the pairing in a “lighter” setting because part 4 &5 are angsty AF…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

5:30PM in route to Boston Logan International -

OPERATION: Taehyung’s Las Vegas Grand opening

Boston to Vegas

“Okayyy..sooo what are you trying to say?” Glancing up slightly in between sorting out the multiple stacks of 20’s,50’s,and 100’s along the backseat of the blacked out truck. Both Mel and yourself alternating between running them through the money counter, double checking the amounts and the authenticity. Sorting the money into briefcases to be picked up by one of your guys before you board your flight within the next 20 or so minutes.  

“FUCKIN HELL! Can we NOT play fuckin bumper cars Chris!? Not like I’m doin shit back here or anything... ” Nothing subtle about the bite within your voice in complaint to that wide ass turn he took, making the stack of twenties slide off you lap and onto the floor. Eyes attempting to slip through the partition and lock with hsi though he was desperately avoid you at all cost! Reaching down with a grunt, also managing to knock your hot pink Birkin off the seat as well “Yup, let’s just toss a 6 figure bag on the ground too while we're at it!” Eyes rolling to the back of your head more times than you could count!

“Yeah, let’s totally ignore all the money that fell.and now needs to be recounted.....the bag is more important...” The crass more than evident in Mels voice as your eyes narrowed into tiny slits. Daggering in her direction

“Eat my ass Melissa!”  The words slipped out of your mouth on almost autopilot...not even giving it a second thought which only earned an amused chuckle. Mel’s known you far too long to take anything to heart.

“I mean I would butttt...not too sure how Tae would feel about that.” Shrugging a little too noncohlant and smug for your liking!  

Grabbing the band of twenties to your left and chucking it directly at left boob, yet you still didn't wipe the smirk off her lips! “Count…now!”

“Ask nicely..” The pout in her voice let you know she was pushing all negative 2 of your buttons…earning an exaggerated sigh in response.

“Did you know Chanel makes garter belts?” Brow arched at your own implied question only to be greeted by a slow nod. “Hmm well now you know...wanna take a wild guess at what I’m hiding in mine?” The playful tenor within your voice was riviling a more..dominant one..which let Melissa know how much room she had to play..and she could tell she was running out of leeway right now!Assuming her lack of sass menat she was finally silently waving that white flag….

“Now let’s try this again...what the fuck happened in China that has you so damn spooked?”

“Oh fuck off don’t say it like that..I’m not spooked I’m a Mangjuhl for fucks sake! It was just odd..that’s all! You would have sworn I was just some random bitch off the street with the way they were damn near stalking me the entire time…” There was a slight pause as she threw the band into the briefcase. “Ahh fuck!How much money is in here already?” Tone hopeful because Mel really wasn’t trying to recount all that damn money!

Brow arched instantly in curiosity “Mmmkay, how about you define ''Stalking” ? And there's...1...2...6...ugh..12k in it right now...that one's going with Yoongi so it has to cap out at 16!”

“Exactly that, it was all eyes on deck 24/7 every time I moved through the compound someone was over my shoulder, I wouldn't be surprised if they were outside the door when I went to take a piss. But I mean...I didn't really say shit because I didn't have anything to hide, but it’s just odd.I’ve been dealing with them for damn near 6 years and it’s never been like this…”

A low hum left your throat at that, the first thing that comes to mind was the last conversation you had with Henry where he admitted to killing Wei in self-defense. Granted as far as you know they still don’t know about it and that alone just feels grimy as fuck, considering the relationship your suppose to have! But, the day that secret comes rises to the surface..the repercussions alone would inevitably start a war that your not ready to fight just yet! So regardless of how your heart feels about the situation, your brains leading you in the smartest direction right now. You're already shielding Marco...you guys can’t handle another war, you're not BURYING any more bodies anytime soon!

It just clicked that Mel’s been the first one back in China alone, since the funeral ...which has you more than curious if maybe they know more than their leading on. You’d never forgive yourself if something happened to her because of a mistake one of your men made...even if it was an “Accident” you don’t lead your soldiers blind! But at the end of the day, this was a decision far bigger than you! If it was going to be known within the alliance that Henry Killed Wei Zhao, who was apart of your most SOLID and trusted Chinese alley.,either your father or Taehyung’s had to make that call..NOT YOU!

“Mel..I-fuck…” A deep sign leaving your chest, there was so much you want to say that you couldn’t “Alright, when we get back I’ll brainstorm with my dad...I mean yeah I wanna blow your left tit off 90% of the time but I love you . I I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable, maybe we can see if Hoseok can do that route or fuck I dont know man...” Towards the end of all that your tone ended up coming  coming off more biter than indented and she picked up on it instantly.

“Whoa, Luxx stop! I’m not sitting here bitching and moaning I’m a big girl, I can handle myself, I don't need you to change my route! I just felt like I’d be a shitty friend to not at least let you know that the vibe was off..that’s all..” God did she really HAVE to take it there!? As if you needed to feel even worse! “I’m still fine to go next month...relax and hand me that last case”

Melissa’s tone was warner than you wished right now because it just made you feel like trash, there was no way in fuck you were letting her make another drop to China until you had a better feel of the situation! If you can't tell Melissa the issue you were going to protect her in the only way you knew how which was keeping her OUT of their terrority!

Like she said..she's been doing this for years...why now the cold shoulder all of a sudden? Everything is done for a reason. Every vibe is strategically set, if she felt uncomfortable or watched it’s because they wanted her to feel that way!

“No, I know, I’m sorry I’m so damn snappy I’m just tired and fuckin stressed...” Pausing slightly, for some reason you actually felt like you wanted to cry, hastily raking your fingers through your scalp. You’d barely been sleeping,partially because you’d been reworking deals and partially because you’d gotten used to sharing a bed with Kim Taehyung. Who hasn’t been around, so your bed feels empty..but we will leave that part between us!

“Let’s just talk about this later okay? Right now I need to make sure this money is solid for pickup, and get you all squared away before we board this flight…”  Your smile was forced but she didn't press the topic, the two of you worked in silence, and just like clockwork your phone buzzed against your right boob. Currently sitting stuffed between the silk cup of your dress and your skin...your earpods letting you know it was Tae.

Almost as if he could sense something was wrong…..

“Will be at the plane in like 15, I think we’ve actually been stuck in traffic......I’ve been to busy to really pay attention but the flights barley 5 hours. I should be to you by at least midnight…” You swore you could almost hear him rolling his eyes through the phone, the huff that left his throat proved that was the wrong answer...

“I’m sorry at what part of me breathing on the other end of the line said, “Where the hell are you!?” His tone indicated he really wasn’t looking for a response but well..your you sooo..

“You may not have asked YET,  fuckin smartass! But I know you..you're impatient so I already knew it was coming...” Throwing the last band of hundreds into the briefcase to your right before snapping it shut, sealing the deal with the passcode!

“K, Are you done making up unnecessary excuses for why you felt the need to explain yourself orrrrr….” Purposely letting the last symbol just rollllll off his tongue, just enough to erk you!

A dry scoff leaving your lips at that, god you hated and loved him all at the same damn time!

“You really must not want to get your dick wet tonight huh?” There was still a smile in your voice though, you couldn't even help it. Mel's eyes narrowed in your direction with a smirk, not even remotely phased by the two of you anymore.

Nothing but arrogance laced within his laugh as it fluttered up to his chest “Yeah, okay good luck with that, you could bring every toy, get yourself off all night in every hole and it wouldn't be enough because it ain't me!”

Why was he right?! God you hated that he was right….

“ It’s s been a week, your bodies not use to that anymore, not when you usually get it whenever and wherever you want. Actually, that’s probably why your all angsty to begin with…”His tone was just as much condescending as it was sensual effortlessly slipping into his bedroom voice.

“Fuck..remind me to buy Namjoon as many drinks as he wants this weekend..he’s been stuck dealing with your bratty ass all week without me to keep you in line...”  This may or may not be true...you may have ran that poor man ragged but luckily Joon loves you..but your not in a position to confirm or deny! Though that’s probably why he’s sitting up front with Chris right now instead of with the two of you….

“Alright,fuck you Kim Taehyung…” Even if he couldn't physically see you, you knew he could still “see you” so you didn't hesitate to let your eyes flutter to the back of your head multiple times.

“I mean yeah baby that’s the plan if you’d stop being a fuckin brat and get your ass on that damn plane. So yes, to clarify I’m still getting my dick, tongue, face, and fingers wet...unless you have some sort of rebuttal and it doesn't sound like you do. You're probably too busy squeezing your thighs together right now to focus!”

“Ya know..I’m currently painting very vivid picture of me smothering your face between my thighs until you pass out!” Just as much a threat as it was a promise, but the hits of flirtation laced within your voice only added fuel to the flame…

In true Kim Taehyung fashion he made sure you heard the deep breathy moan that fell from those pouty lips of his! “Mmm..ya know I’m having the same visual Luxxy...my face between your thighs until your coming down my face…”

Fuckk...

You had to bite your lips so damn hard to suppress the moan that was rolling up your throat, almost forgetting Melissa’s to your right! Fuck, why do you do this with him!?

“On that note, I have a really important business call to get to on the other end so ugh, yeah..I’ll see you in a couple hours baby...have fun..to Mel I said hi..”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ahhhhhhhhhhh I know lol I know.it’s been a minute ...if you liked it...like it! Come lemme know..the goal is to have this up by the end of the weekend...and to roll right into finishing part 5 which is why I did this...as a way to get me back into the groove!

Also, note there will be a little more plot prior to Tae bending her over the sink lol they havent seen each other in a week...he’s been away for business! They also pop into Luxxy’s stip club which Kook manges...he’s getting ready for a drop night tomorrow...so..of course there will be a little drama there...because nothing goes to plan!

[comfortmarvelimagines]

When You Can’t Find the Quiet pt2

yoyoyo sorry this took a lot longer than i said it would, i rewrote it three times and it STILL sucks but uh here ya go i tried

“Fuckfuck Mr Stark I-I think they’re dead! Ohmygodohmygod,” Peter crouched down, moving to shake you back to consciousness.

“No, Pete, they’re fine. Don’t touch them. The complete removal of stimulation when I activated the blackout protocol probably gave their brain permission to turn off… Or something like that. I’m not a doctor.”

“They’re probably exhausted.”

“Yeah, well, then, that too. Problem now is getting them and your mask out of the school with minimal pain to them and no harm to your identity.” Peter could hear footsteps in the background of the call. Tony was pacing, thinking.

“What if I just… Put them on one of the projector trolleys! There should be lab coats in here somewhere, what if I covered them with that so that no one sees? It’ll be like one of those super cool spy movies!”

“You know, for someone so smart you really are dumb sometimes. You are not smuggling them out of the school like a corpse, the last thing May needs is a call to the police station because you’ve been arrested on suspicion for murder.” There was a pause, neither of them knowing what to say. Needing to feel like he was somehow helping you, Peter bent down and gently pulled your hand from your mouth, now that you were no longer biting on it. It was still bleeding.

“I, uh, we need a band-aid in here.”

“That’s what you’re concerned about right now? Look, do you know anyone you can call, a parent, that can take them home?”

“Uh, no. Last time Ned called their mom when they were gettin’ really anxious and kinda stimmy during an assembly she… She kinda didn’t care? Like, she didn’t come and pick them up or anything, and y/n said it wasn’t too pretty when she got home… And I thought about going to the nurse earlier, to see if there was someone else, but come to think of it I don’t know who you could call. They don’t have anyone else, really.”

“Okay. Okay. So you need me to come and get you…” Peter swore he could make out the clinks of a suit piecing itself to Tony. “When’s the next class end?”

“Ummmm,” Peter pulled the phone from his ear, tapping the screen, “Three minutes.”

“Sweet. I think the only way you’re gonna get them out of there is if you take the mask off. Reckon you can get them to the front office in like, 90 seconds before hell breaks loose?”

He didn’t finish the sentence before spiderboy was out the door, phone in pocket, you in his arms.

***

The phasing out of unconsciousness was, sometimes, the worst part. It was like becoming aware of everything that hurt more and more acutely until it was almost overwhelming again, but not actually being able to do anything. The need to get out never went away. It was just paused for a second. Occasionally, you were lucky, and the pain wasn’t quite there before you managed to fall asleep properly, but today was not one of those days. Your head felt like someone had repeatedly dropped a brick on it. Nausea came over you in waves. As you became increasingly more aware of your body, other things began to trickle in; the muted sounds of kids yelling in the corridor, the hum of the lights (which, incidentally, were enough to make your eyes burn even through your eyelids), the click of a keyboard, adults talking- no, arguing, the smell of disinfectant and GOD these sheets were so BAD…

As much as you felt like dramatically waking up with a gasp and flinging of cheap blankets, like in the movies, the most you could manage was a half-hearted groan and weak attempts to pull as much blanket as possible over your head. The tapping sound next to you stopped.

“Mr Stark!”

You knew immediately that it was Peter. As much as you could tell he was trying to be quiet, his whisper-screaming wasn’t really cutting it. Another groan left your throat, this time completely involuntary. Footsteps. A click. Your eyeballs weren’t on fire anymore, thankfully. Still no way in hell were you about to open them. More footsteps, heavier this time.

“Hey there, kiddo, nice to meet you. Obviously not nice circumstances. Pete and I are gonna get you out of here, okay, but it’s probably gonna hurt a bit before we can fix it. Alright?” The voice hesitated, as if waiting for your consent.  “Oookay then. Here’s what we’re gonna do. Pete’s gonna help you sit up. Then we’re gonna get you out to the car. Pete said to try to touch you as little as possible, so do you think you can walk on your own?” You thought for a second. Your legs felt like jelly, but you didn’t want anyone anywhere near you. Even though it was splittingly painful, you managed a slight nod.

Peter’s voice sounded, closer to your head. “On three, I’m gonna hold your shoulders and pull you up, ‘kay? Ready one, two, three.”

Sure, you knew it wasn’t going to feel wonderful, but that didn’t make it any less stomach-churning. Dizziness took over and you overbalanced to your left, face-planting into something… Soft? Nice. Good feeling. You hummed in contentment.

Peter sounded like he was trying to muffle a laugh. “Oh my god, Mr Stark, they like your shirt. Good luck getting them off now!” He was still whispering, but it was enough for you to realise what you were burying your face in. Did you care enough to sit back up? Absolutely not. Apparently Peter had moved on, because he went on to ask if he could take the shitty school blanket off your head and replace it with his hoodie, so that the light outside would at least have some sort of filter. You answered by humming again, so he took it as permission. Better. Smelt like Peter. No longer wanted to rip the skin off the back of your neck. Somehow, the good fabrics helped to cancel out the other Bad things. The nausea wasn’t quite as all-consuming anymore.

Cool hands met yours. You recognised them- Peter. Another countdown, and you were pulled to your feet. It didn’t quite feel like you were attached to the lower half of your body, somehow suspended but tethered at the same time. Slowly regaining feeling in your feet, you shuffled forwards. “Good to go, kiddo?”

If inside the nurse’s office was tolerable, than the outside was a burning pit of hellfire. The disorientation from not being able to see from the jumper over your head was panic-inducing, but when you pulled it aside everything was too much. Flick right wrist, flick left. Click your fingers, twice. Repeat. The light on the ceiling, flickering. Like the one from the train. Make it stop. You felt like your head was imploding, starting from right behind your eyes. Get out. Need. To. Get. Out.

Peter was near you, saying your name, but it merged into everything else. Not knowing what else to do, he pressed his fingers to your shoulder blade to trigger you into moving forwards. He knew he shouldn’t touch you, but what choice did he have? Your eyes were glassing over and the only way to make it stop was to help you get out, seeing as you weren’t quite there enough to do it yourself. Rather than the jump that he was expecting, you followed the pressure; for whatever reason, it seemed to ground you a little. Tony was close, to your left. You didn’t realise how you’d gotten to where you were, but all of a sudden the fingers on your spine were pushing down and it was cool. Dark. Not completely, but worlds better than before. Now that you were sitting and it didn’t feel like you were spinning, out of control, it felt safe to pull Peter’s jumper back over your face. It wasn’t quite a blanket, but combined with your hoodie it was better than nothing.

“Hey, y/n, I’m so sorry about… Everything. I know today has sucked but you’re doing so well,” Peter’s voice dripped with guilt. You swayed to your left, nudging him in thanks. You sat in comfortable silence for a minute, until the door to your right opened and Tony sat down.

“Everyone doin’ okay?”

“Shhh! You can’t be loud yet.” Peter knew the drill. No loud noises until you said so.  

“I, uh, got a band-aid.” Much quieter this time.

“Give it here and I’ll put it on their finger.”

They both leaned across you, making you into some sort of human sandwich. But the pressure was nice, secure. Despite what Peter would tease you about later, the disgruntled noise of protest you made when they moved off was NOT deliberate.

“Do they like deep pressure?”

“Ask them, not me. They can answer. Also, where did you learn about DPT?”

“Pete, I know people, read things. You may think I’m old but I know how to use the internet.” You felt the older man sit back in his seat, no longer talking over you. “Y/n?”

“Hmm.”

“Did you want us to sit closer to you again?”

“Hmmmm.”

“That was a ‘hm’ of approval,” Peter clarified as he shifted closer.

“What are you, some sort of y/n translator?” Just as he said that, the car started moving. Feeling you tense, Peter pushed further into you and you gave easily, falling into Tony’s side.

You’d forgotten how soft the fabric was.

It was less than a minute before you were out cold, in a much more pleasant way this time.

***

You absolutely hated how groggy you were after a sensory overload. Some Bad Brain days were manageable- far from comfortable, but enough for you to get to where you had to be and crash when you got home to try and sleep it off. When it got as bad as it had that morning, it felt like all the energy had just leaked out of you. It was strange. Even on the okay, the good days, you never really sat still. Peter noticed it too, that for once you weren’t even happy stimming or calm stimming, just humming.

The transition from the car to the inside of the compound was considerably less stressful than the one from the office. You were okay to hold Peter’s hand and tap with the tips of your fingers as he followed Tony into the elevator, up and down a hallway. When he let go for a second, to hold the elevator doors for you to get out, trepidation for the unknown in an unfamiliar environment began to set in. Without consciously meaning to, your hands started twisting each other, pulling, until the bones rubbed; an anxious stim. “Hey, y/n, is your tangle in your bag?” 

You shook your head.

“In your pocket?” 

Same response. 

“Uh, Mr Stark, do you have like… I guess you don’t know what a tangle is… Like, something they can stim with, with both hands?” Peter had softly taken your hands in his, loose enough for your fingers to flick and tap independently without hurting yourself. He’d seen how you used to come to school with bruises up to your wrists from stimming like that, and it was MJ that had produced a tangle from behind her book one day. Since then, they had easily become your favourite stim toy, your friends always making sure you had one in your bag, your locker and your desk at home, as well as spare ones on them just in case. Of course, it just so happened that now you had none.   

“Hang on a sec, we’ve got a bunch of stuff in here,” Tony opened a door to reveal a completely dark room. Illuminated by the sliver of light seeping from the outside, he opened a drawer from a storage chest built into the wall to show an array of tangles, tactile fabrics, chewelry, just about anything small you could possibly stim with. You felt the grip on your wrists release as Peter grabbed a bumpy tangle- the best kind- and handed it over to you before shutting the door.  

“FRIDAY, turn on the sensory room lights.” An entire wall of bubble lights lit up in response. They gradually changed colour, but you were too excited by the pile of blankets by the adjacent wall. As you sat down on the padded floor and began pulling one over your head, Peter found his voice again. 

“Dude… Where did you get all this?”

“I’m Tony Stark, I can get anything I want,” he paused. “But seriously, after Germany I did some research into sensory difficulties. I figured that if you were ever struggling with the whole ‘dialled to eleven’ thing, some of this might be useful. Obviously, you haven’t needed it but turns out it’s not such a bad thing to have.” 

As you soon discovered, the blankets were weighted, and between that and the calm lights and the tangle in your hands the sound of their conversation didn’t make you want to scream. You started rocking from side to side, legs crossed. The foggy heaviness was still there, but the good stims were starting to make you feel safer, more okay, more yourself since your brain wasn’t perpetually in flight-or-flight mode. Peter came over and sat down next to you and you threw yourself onto him in a hug. 

“Squeeze?”

You nodded in response. Somehow, he made it out under the now three blankets over your head and wrapped his arms around you. Peter was safe. Tony, standing awkwardly to the side and watching, was safe now too. Sometimes the world and your brain just weren’t quite compatible, but with friends like yours and people that got it, you knew it’d be okay. 

tags: @inumorph @autistic-patti @crystallstaircase @rebel-by-default 

[werevulvi]

Writing this text led me to several important realisations, suddenly crying my heart out, and then feeling a lot better. So I felt it’s important to post. Also I’ve got a question towards the end, for anyone who knows how to use tumblr better than I do. Sudden internalised lesbophobia thought of today, me to myself: "Even if there was a cure for homosexuality, I would never want it..." "...wait... I said 'cure' didn't I?" "Oh, shit. Well if that ain't a freudian slip, I don't know what possibly could be."

That's... my doubled-sided coin in a nut shell. Trapped in one single sentence. I don't actually want for my sexuality to change, even if that was possible (which was what I thought I meant to say), cause I'm happier with other women than I could ever even imagine being with men let alone was, like really a hell of a lot happier with women and I want to nurture and savour that, and I live in one of the most pro-lgbt countries in the world... but I'm still struggling to view it in a fully healthy light. My dumb brain still whispers that it goes against nature, that it's somehow sick. Why do I care? Sitting by a computer obviously goes against nature too, and praying to Satan while wearing a hooded black robe in a dark candle lit room at midnight is often considered "sick" by some people too, and kinda for the same dumb reasons (meaning a harmless something that just goes against people’s personal beliefs), but apparently I have no moral quarrels with those sort of activities. But clearly my women-loving activities, whether romantic or sexual, keep grinding my gears.

Like... maybe that's also intrusive thoughts? Aside from my "regular" sexual intrusive thoughts, I mean. Cause really what else is up with those random "voices" whispering homophobic shit to me? Of course they're intrusive thoughts. I can't believe I didn't realise that before. I'm such an idiot! Oh well, better late than never, here we go again *pats my own shoulder*

However, I had a good conversation today with an acquaintance who might become a friend. He's a gay man, somewhere in his late 40's, very sweet, humble yet straight-forward and kinda blunt, and talks really a lot. He hosts "rainbow cafe" events in the only city on this small island around once or twice a month, which is casual gathering for lgbt people and allies. Sometimes, it's just me and him, because no one else attended. As was last evening, just he and I, and we ended up talking about everything from David Bowie to homophobia in muslim countries, and from to "Will and Grace" to his ex/on-off boyfriend and my girlfriend. I always love hearing him talk of his ex boyfriend. They seem worlds apart yet very understanding and caring of each other, and casually bickering like they've known each other forever. It's clear to me that they're still very good friends. It was perhaps a seemingly simple, just friendly conversation, but it felt so good. Like... just fucking finally having a normal conversation with another gay person about gay stuff irl. I don't know why but that makes me cry right now. Fuck, I just need to feel normal and not just be told that I'm normal. Cause there is a big difference. And during that conversation with him I felt normal. He didn't say it, not even once, but he made me feel normal by simply treating me as if I was. That's it... that clicked something within me. I don't cry often, so when I end up bawling like that... I KNOW it's important. Cause it only happens that I cry when a feeling is so strong I can't possibly bottle it. Instead it explodes. Now I feel a hell of a lot better... wow, that was cleansing! Also I finally managed to tell him about my detransition, which I had not been able to muster before, and then I've met him during those kind of cafe events some 5-10 times by now for a whole year. But now it was easy. I felt considerably more confident than ever, which made me far more conversational than I've been in a long time, and his reaction to that was... he seemed unphased.

Not shocked, not clenching his gut in discomfort at the thought of the horror I must be going through. He seemed to understand it's a difficult process, but didn't make a big deal out of it. In that sense too, he made me feel normal. It's not about me being normal, just feeling it. If even just for rare moments here and there. I've... never felt that way before. That's definitely worth crying over, and it's entirely connected to my internalised lesbophobia. Cause I think with my lesbian discovery, so soon after my detransition, it felt like insult to injury. Like I'll never be a normal woman at any point, no matter how far I detransition, cause I'll always be a lesbian woman. And I think that's the thorn that I didn't even know I had in my side, until it was forcibly pulled out. I no longer doubt I'm a lesbian. I haven't for the past few months. I haven't felt a single doubt about it since my girlfriend and I first got physical, and I mean it. I've felt and known sincere certainty about my sexuality ever since. Not just that I love her, and am very attracted to her, but that I just can't possibly feel that sorta thing towards any male. No man could ever make me wet by just kissing me, but she can. And I know why. It's as clear as the sun is bright. I think unfortunately though... the more sure I get that I really am a lesbian, through and through, the more scared of it I become. It's as if the more sure of it I become, the more inevitable it feels. Question is, why do I treat my homosexuality as some kind of inevitable doom? I read too much crap. No doubt that all the gut-wrenching homophobia that keeps popping up in my tumblr feed is getting to me, feeding my fantasies of corrective rape and drilling thoughts of it being "unnatural" and "wrong" into my already fragile and tormented skull. If only I could filter blog contents somehow without unfollowing or blocking anyone. Cause I want to read some 90% of the content of the radfem blogs I follow, but fuck it whenever I get face fucked with another post of absolutely vicious homophobia (especially when targetting lesbians specifically) I lose my ability to distance myself and I feel like utter and absolute shit. It sucks my ptsd-brain into a vacuum of impending darkness. I get (extra) vulgar when I'm upset. Sorry not sorry, it's a coping mechanism. Trust me, it lightens my mood, and that's the purpose of it.

Or in simpler language: I get a little triggered. Or like... badly triggered, but pushing it aside, pretending everything is fine and dandy, but my insides keep screaming and tossing about.

And I can't keep exposing myself to that, just hoping I'll get desensitised soon enough. I guess tumblr has some kind of function to filter out tags that I could try, but then you guys and gyns don't exactly always tag your shit. Sure it's good to expose homophobes' bigotry so more people will know about, absolutely. But I don't need any more exposure of that, thank you I've had enough. So oh well, oh well. Maybe I could create a second account for following blogs I know are crammed with such nasty shit I can't possibly avoid without making too big of a sacrifice, and keep my main blog clean from that, but means unfortunately unfollowing a lot. Which I don't wanna. Also I really don't have the spoons to create a second account and filter through all the 500 or so blogs that I follow. I just simply don't.

I don't fucking know. But that crap is really, really getting to me and I know I need to take some distance from all the horrid homophobia in the world, or at least a damn break from it. ~Cause I've got a feeling~ ~that it's stunting my healing~ I'm in such a strange mood tonight. My dark humour is coming to my defense. It's late, I need to sleep but I'm hyperactive due to being over-tired. Cause sometimes my brain just does the opposite to what it’s supposed to. It needs me to finish this first. But anyhows. If anyone's got any advice on how to avoid specific(-ally nasty) tumblr content without unfollowing (people who don't fucking tag their nasty posts), that'd be great. Desk top, not app, btw. I mean especially the endlessly big posts of more and more people adding cited quotes from TRA's such as "lesbians who don't like dick should be raped by girl dick, killed, gutted, turned into sex slaves, forcibly impregnated, yadda yadda" you know the drill. And oh it drills... If in any case a clarification was necessary.

[emotionally-imbruised]

Wandering Souls

Imagine Alexander Ludwig as Nathan, ok byeee. 

Halloween is approaching, and despite the festive decorations, and people walking around all dressed up; you try your best to ignore the fact.

October 31st just marks yet another full circle the earth has made around the sun and has no significance to you regardless of it being the anniversary of the day your entire world was flipped upside down... But you try not to think about it that way.

You continue your way through the semi-crowded streets of NYC during this late fall evening; dodging the other pedestrians, and groaning at the slow walkers you get stuck behind. The smell of blood from each and every person around you fills your nostrils overbearingly as you think back to the last time you fed, but shake it off as you turn down a creepy looking alleyway to give yourself a break from all the strong scents.

As you make your way down the dimly lit path, a sudden cool breeze wisps by you, and whips your hair around. You tighten your black leather jacket around your torso as you brush off the feeling of a presence being behind you, and keep walking. The echo of your boots meeting the pavement is almost deafening in the silence you’re surrounded by, and you waste no time in glancing over your shoulder in search of the someone, or something you feel to be nearby. With another shake of your head, you face forward again, and are met by a sense of the presence being closer this time... and it feels almost familiar? You think about it a bit more, and it alls clicks, before suddenly whipping around to grab ahold of who you now know is behind you. 

“You know better than to sneak up on me, Styles,” you hiss through gritted teeth as you harshly push your best friend up against the wall by his neck. 

“Y/N!” his deep British voice replies excitedly, as he flashes you his famous dimpled grin. You roll your eyes at him before tightening your grip around his neck and scowling. 

“It’s been ten years Harry,” you seethe, as you feel the anger and resentment you have towards the brunette standing in front of you rise; all while he just stands there looking as smug and as handsome as ever. “What could you possibly want?”

Suddenly he grabs ahold of your arm, and pulls you towards him; turning the two of you around, so you're the one with their back pressed against the wall, all in the blink of an eye. “I’ve missed my best friend,” he pouts as he reaches to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, and you smack his hand away. 

“Best friends don’t break best friend’s neck’s, then just leave them and disappear for ten years,” you snap and storm away from him.

“You’re still bitter over that?” He groans and follows after you. “How many times do I have to apologize?”

“You haven’t apologized!” You yell and turn around to face him, catching him off guard. “Now, you only come looking for me when you’ve fucked up royally, or you need something. So which is it, hmm?”

“I do not,” he grumbles, and you scoff. “M’here for a completely different reason, actually.” He pauses and reaches into his jacket pocket, pulling out a small blood bag with a sad tiny drawing of a candle taped to in. “Happy Birthday!”

“Not my birthday,” you state, and take the bag from him; ripping it open and draining it’s contents into your mouth, tossing it into a nearby trashcan once you’re done. 

“Thanks for sharing,” he huffs, and you smirk. “And yes it is, Halloween is right around the corner... Also known as our birthday.”

“No, your birthday is in February,” you correct, as he rolls his eyes. “And you know I don’t celebrate my birthday on Halloween, cause it’s not our birthday. It’s the day we died, Harry... two-hundred years ago.”

“And you don't look a day over a hundred,” he jokes, earning himself a glare from you. 

“I despise you,” you state, and start walking away again. 

“Oh c’mon Y/N,” he pleads and catches up to you instantly, grabbing ahold of your arm, and turning you, so you’re facing him. “I’ve actually missed you, it’s been a long time... too long.”

You give him a once over, as you can feel his gaze making its way around your body. “Your hair’s longer,” you speak up. “It looks good... in a messy, greasy kind of way.”

“Bet it’d look better with your hands running through it,” he replies and snakes his arm around your waist, pulling you towards him. 

“Straight to the point, I see,” you smirk playfully, playing off the fact that you’re still extremely annoyed with him. “You’d love that, wouldn't you?”

“I mean, it has been ten years,” he replies and looks at you hungrily. “So what d’yeh say?”

“I say,” you start, and move to brush your lips against his teasingly. He lets out a breath as you move away slightly and place your hands gently behind his neck. You let your fists tangle into his long curls for a moment before quickly moving one hand to his chin, and twisting his head to the side until there’s a sickening crack. His body goes limp, and you let it fall to the ground; stepping over it and continuing your way home as if nothing happened. “That payback is a bitch.”

About an hour passes by, and you have to move your gaze from the book you’re reading to Harry as he bursts through your apartment door. “Ok, I guess I deserved that,” he states, as he cracks his now insanely stiff neck. “I don't remember you ever playing this dirty, I’m impressed.”

“And I thought I’d have at least another hour before you woke up,” you mutter, and set your book down. Harry rolls his eyes as you make your way across the small space between the two of you, and brush your shoulder against his as you make your way by him on route to your bedroom. 

“Where are you going?” He follows after you, and you internally groan. 

“I’m changing into something comfy,” you state, as you switch the light on and walk over to the dresser. 

“Why?” He whines, and he flops onto your bed; moving his gaze to stare at the ceiling. “When did you get so boring?”

“Not boring, just tired,” you reply as a matter of factly. “I mean, you can leave if you want.”

“Haha,” he snarks and leans onto his elbows to look at you better. You smirk as you pull the long-sleeved shirt you’ve worn all day up and over your head, tossing it into the dirty laundry basket by the doorway. Harry’s eyes remain glued to you as you do this, and he makes no attempt to cover it up. 

“Like what you see?” You ask as you unbutton your jeans, and shimmy out of them; leaving you in your red lacy underwear ensemble as you stare back at him. 

“Nothing I haven’t seen before,” he replies and adverts his attention from you briefly. “Doesn’t really faze me anymore after two-hundred years, y’know?”

“Hmm,” you hum in disagreement and glance down at his lower body. “That growing bulge in your pants says otherwise.” You smile to yourself triumphantly as you turn your back to him, and unclasp your bra. The material slides down your arms, and you let it fall to the ground before sliding on an old worn-out band t-shirt from the 90′s to cover yourself up. 

“That’s where that shirt went,” he whispers into your ear; suddenly moved from his spot on your bed. “Looks better on you than it did on me.”

“Flattery only gets you so far Harry, you should know this by now,” you say, and make way to climb onto your bed; pulling the duvet over your lap as you lean against the headboard. “Now are you going to tell me why you're actually here or not?”

“I want you,” he replies suggestively, and you raise an eyebrow at him as he sits back down onto the bed. “T’come with me, y’know, go somewhere new. You’ve been in New York for a long time, and uhm-.”

He trails off awkwardly and looks away, clearly thinking about keeping all the details of his unexpected visit hidden from you. “No,” you argue, and glance at him suspiciously. “I like it here, why would I leave?”

“Well uh, as vampires, it’s um good for us to move around,” he stammers and keeps his eyes from meeting yours. “So people don't notice us, right? You’ve been here for a while, soon people will notice.”

“And I’ll deal with it when that does happen,” you retort, as you continue to study his odd body language. “You never cared about me staying in one place for long before, why now? What aren’t you telling me?”

“I... ran into Nathan,” he murmurs quietly; but your enhanced hearing picks up on it quickly. 

“Who the hell is Nath-,” you start but cut yourself off as realization and panic washes over you. Harry’s stunning green eyes finally look to you, and you take a shaky breath. “Nathan, as in my ex... The man responsible for us both dying and becoming vampires all those years ago.”

“That’s the one,” he replies and scrunches up his face as if just the mention of the man causes him pain.

“W-what did he want?” You ask unsurely, not entirely sold on the idea of actually wanting to know the details. 

“Well, after he had his goons snap m’neck, tie me to a chair, and stab me with some wooden stakes... I didn't really get the chance to ask,” he explains and starts twiddling his thumbs. “Was kinda focused on getting out of there.”

“Fuck,” you whisper, and mindlessly start crawling across the bed towards him. He flinches slightly as you gently place your hand onto his cheek, but you don’t move away; instead, you move his head until his eyes meet yours. “You’re ok, though, right? You got away, a-and we don’t have to worry about them.”

“I wish it were that easy,” he replies with a shrug and leans into your touch as he places his hand over yours. “I knew he’d been trying to track me down for some time, but I didn’t think he’d actually find me seeing as we’ve done so well in avoiding him for so long.” 

“Is this why you just up and left for ten years?” You press, and he nods. 

“He’s already killed us once, Y/N,” he continues, as the memories begin flooding your mind. “I figured if I stayed away from you; it’d keep him away too, and that you’d be safe.”

“You’re an idiot,” you state and lean your forehead against his. “Jesus Harry, he could have killed you. Let him kill me, I’m the one he wants dead.”

“He wants both of us dead, actually,” he corrects. “Man still has a grudge against us for ruining your wedding to him all those years ago.”

“And now it’s come back to haunt us,” you mutter nervously and move away slightly, but he stops you from getting too far. 

“Hey,” he speaks softly, and inches closer to you; causing you to feel as if the familiar strong force that tends to push the two of you together, returns. “We’ll be ok. I lost them somewhere in Australia, and that was over a month ago. Haven’t seen any sign of him or his guys since.”

Your heart pounds in your chest as he stares at you so intensely, and you do feel better in general just with having him back around. “That’s good,” you nod and bite on your bottom lip. He glances down at the lip between your teeth and moves to close the gap between your’s and his mouths, but you’re the one to actually connect them. The hunger the two of you have had for each other is evident as he reacts instantly, and deepens the kiss; grabbing ahold of your thighs, and lifting you closer to him so you can straddle his lap. “God, it’s been a long time.”

“It has,” he agrees as he moves away to lift the t-shirt over your head, and tosses it to the ground. He starts sucking on your neck, making sure to leave marks from him all over you in doing so. “I guess this is the type of thing that got us into our current predicament with Nathan, isn't it?”

“I was young, human, and in love with my best friend,” you explain, and push him back slightly so his shirt can be removed as well. “Not with some rich asshole, my father sold me off to marry; all despite our constant sneaking around together. Also, can we please not talk about him right now, it’s a mood ruiner.”

“I was in love with you too,” he replies, and catches you off guard slightly; but you brush it off as you move lower, and start working on removing his pants. “Y/N, what even happened to us?”

This makes you stop, and you slowly look up to him again; keeping your hands in place on his waist. “Uhm, I think we figured this would be easier,” you start, and he nods. “What we have right now has always worked. Neither of us is tying the other down, and we’re each free to do whatever and whomever we want. Which I think is good seeing as we’re stuck with each other forever as it is.”

He looks at you thoughtfully, before snaking his hand around your neck, and pulling you towards him until your lips crash against his again. “Haven’t been with anyone in two-hundred years that makes me feel the way I do when I’m with you, bub,” he mutters against your lips, causing you to moan as he dips his fingers between the thin underwear you wear, and into your folds. “S’wet for me pet, just like always.” He moves his fingers to his mouth, and locks eye contact with you as he sucks them dry. “Almost enjoy this as much as I enjoy blood.”

“Oh shut up,” you snap, and let him flip the two go you over, so he’s now on top. His hands start gently massaging your exposed breasts as he moves his mouth down your jaw again, leaving a trail of small kisses until he reaches his favourite spot; the gentle curve where your neck and shoulder meet. He grazes his sharp fangs against your sensitive skin, leaving two small punctures that fill with blood; but not too much as he swiftly licks away the red liquid. Your eyes flutter, and you moan in pleasure as he continues sucking at the same spot. His body grinds against yours, and you can feel his erection rub against your thigh; but just as you’re about to do anything about it, a noise sounds from out in the living room, and you break away from Harry. “Did you hear that?”

“Y/N,” he whines and starts moving his mouth down your collarbone. “I didn’t hear anything, you’re just stressed.” You consider his words for a moment, and think that maybe you are overreacting; until the faintest footstep makes one of the old wooden floorboards creak obnoxiously loud to your amplified hearing. 

“There’s someone here,” you state and push him off of you. You vamp speed over to your dresser, where you pull out a long-sleeved top and a pair of tights; putting them on faster than any human could even comprehend. Harry is beside you in a matter of seconds, pulling his clothes back on quickly and quietly. You glance down at the prominent bulge that remains in his pants, and can't help but smirk a little as your eyes meet his again. 

“Don't even start,” he whispers harshly, and you let out a small chuckle. 

“Wasn't gonna,” you reply and move towards the door; but he’s quick to stop you. 

“Are you seriously just about to walk out there?” He asks disbelievingly. “No game plan, just walking straight into the war zone, yeah?” He glances down at you and expects a response, but doesn't get it as you just glare at him before opening the door and walking out of the room; hearing the audible groan he makes as he follows after you. 

You slowly make your way down the hall towards the living room, making sure not to make any noise. Once you reach the end, you peek around the corner to find the place completely empty. You scoff and move your way into the room, looking around for any sign of an intruder, but find none. 

Just as you’re about to turn around to face Harry again, a sharp wooden stake whizzes towards you, and you quickly dodge it; watching as it misses your body by mere inches, and embeds itself deeply into the couch behind you. Your gaze snaps to the direction the stake came from just as a vampire you've never seen before exits the kitchen and whips another piece of wood towards you. This time you don’t dodge it, but rather reach up and grab it out of the air; smoothly rotating it in your hands and chucking it right back at him, nailing him in the gut. “Are you kidding me?” You yell at the unknown man, as he groans in pain and falls to the ground. “I just bought that couch!”

“Y/N, now is not the time to worry about furniture,’ Harry grumbles, and you look over to see him in an all-out brawl with a different vampire; various grunts leaving their mouths as they roll on the ground, trying to get the upper hand against the other. You let out a huff before turning back to your opponent, as he painfully yanks the stick from his stomach, and slowly stands up. With an aggravated sigh, you rip the stake out of the couch, and speed over to the man; grabbing him by the neck as you press him against the wall forcefully, just like you did to Harry earlier. 

“Dick move,” you tell him before stabbing the weapon into his chest, making sure it hits the exact spot you know will kill him. You let his greying, lifeless body slump to the ground before making way over to help Harry out with his goon. The few steps you make towards them are all you get to do before a force takes you out from the side, and you topple to the ground. You struggle against the hold the new stranger has on you, and let out a whimper of pain as he straddles your waist, and aggressively pins down your wrists with his hands. 

“My, Nathan was right when he said you were a looker,” the nasty looking vampire speaks up, and you scrunch your face in disgust. “May have to keep yourself.”

“And I see Nathan still has to send others to do his dirty work for him,” you spit, and move your knee up to forcefully meet his groin. He let’s go of your wrists and moves back slightly, just as Harry appears behind him and stabs another stake into the man’s heart through his back. The now-deceased vampire falls to the ground beside you, and you glare up at your best friend disapprovingly. “I could’ve handled it.”

“Still not the time,” he replies monotonously and holds out his hand to help you up. You take it, and roll your eyes as he pulls you into a standing position; glaring at you sideways. “A ‘thanks for saving m’life Harry, I don't know what I'd do without you’ would’ve been nice.”

“Mmm not happening,” you reply and walk by him. There are four dead vampires scattered around your apartment, and you're more than a little annoyed. “So, what now? We can't stay here.”

“I know,” he states firmly. “We need to leave the state.”

“The state?” You question defensively. “N-n-no, I have another place near the Canadian border; we can go there.”

“Do you hear yourself right now?” He asks accusingly and looks at you annoyedly. “Y/N, Nathan knows we’re here. There’s bound to be more men where these guys came from, and they're probably not too far from here. It’s too risky to stay so close.”

“But-,” you try to argue and end up getting cut off. 

“No buts, Y/N! God, just stop being so damn stubborn for once in your life, and listen!” He yells, causing you to raise your eyebrows at him in surprise.

“Well now you're just rude,” you scoff and start making your way towards the broken down the front door of the apartment. 

“Oh, don't be like that, I'm trying to help you,” he groans and runs his hand over his face aggravatedly. “We’re in this together.”

“Maybe I don't want to be in this with you, Harry!” You snap and whip around to face him. “You’ll just piss off afterward like you always do... that is if we actually make it out alive.”

He takes a couple breaths and studies you for a moment. “You're not going to make this easy, are you?” He asks, and you shrug. The smirk that forms on his mouth, and the laugh that leaves it makes you want nothing more than to just smack the stupid look off his face. You go to say something else but, his striking green eyes meet yours, and you freeze. “Than I’m sorry about this.”

“What the hell are you talking about-,” you begin, but are cut off abruptly as he speeds behind you, and locks you into a chokehold. “No, Harry! If you snap my neck, I swear to God it’ll be the last thing you do.”

A deep chuckle ripples through him and vibrates against your back as you continue struggling against his hold. “Sorry love, but it’s for your own good,” he explains smoothly, and lets you fight for a second longer, before twisting your head to the side with a sickening crack; and everything soon goes black. 

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #393

Top Ten Favourite Moments in Videogames

So apparently this week we had International Videogame Day, or somesuch. Anyway, it felt like a sufficiently tenuous reason for me to talk about videogames.

One tweet I saw asked its readers for their favourite videogame moments, and – as is my wont – I could not be contained by Twitter’s meagre parameters and decided instead to turn it into the subject of my latest “blog”.

So here, then, are my favouritest moments in the history of videogames. Most of these are a bit old, perhaps because in my advancing years it takes more thoroughly shock or awe me; also I feel like I just played games more when I was a kid or a student. Also, what with me being me, some of these perhaps feel more left-field than lists you’d see on conventional gaming websites; I’ve never played Final Fantasy VII for more than half an hour, so I couldn’t give a toss who dies at the end (is it even at the end? It might happen at minute 31 for all I know). Hope, here you’ll find a nice combination of Amiga games, decades-old PC games, and something that came free with Windows 95.

Also, just what is a “moment”? I’ve tried to define it as one precise action; a revelation, a line, a discovery. There may be one two bendings of that rule, but in general I’ve tried to keep it to short sudden snaps of gaming, rather than whole levels, weapons, or gameplay styles. So, for instance, one of the most fun things I’ve ever done in gaming is chucking cars about and jumping across rooftops in Crackdown, but that feels like the game itself that I love, rather than a moment.

Anyway, enough preliminary blather. Let’s see what I dredged from my subconscious this time around.

Oh, and spoiler alert, I guess.

“How to Get Ahead in Navigating” (The Secret of Monkey Island, 1990): it’s an old joke, really, but a classic. I got stuck on this moment, frantically trying everything in my inventory to get the cannibals to give me their navigators’ head, and when I final offered them this brochure, with that title, oh, the wheels clicked into place and I understood. I knew then what this game was, what I was, how good games could be. Joyous and transcendent.

The Super Gravity Gun (Half-Life 2, 2004): you spend a whole game picking up barrels and chucking around paint cans with your magic Physics Cannon, all the while wishing you could shunt people out the way, and all of a sudden – wham! – your prayers are answered. Wacky, hilarious, emergent gameplay ensues.

The Flood (Halo: Combat Evolved, 2001): Halo starts out as a James Cameron film and then suddenly, without warning, turns into a Dario Argento one. The Flood twist comes out of nowhere and utterly upends the gameplay. Although the Flood levels get repetitive, that initial surprise still delights.

“This Was a Triumph” (Portal, 2007): musical numbers in games remain a sad rarity, so this tuneful finale was not only a delight but a surprise. It’s in-canon, a great, great track, and manages to be both funny and supremely creepy. I’ve never completed Portal 2, but I’m expecting great things.

“Would You Kindly?” (BioShock, 2007): games that play with the notion of gameplay itself really float my battleship (SuperHot nearly made this list), and the twist that all your standard objective-following in BioShock was really a sinister Manchurian plot by the Big Bad was a rug-pulling mind-blower. The subsequent boss battle could not ever hope to compare.

Revan Revealed (Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic, 2003): speaking of finding out you’re the bad guy… Darth Revan is built up as this supreme source of evil, only recently defeated. Finding out it’s you and the Jedi essentially mind-wiped you is a shock that – in my case, at least – really affected how I played the game (I didn’t go evil, though, I’m far too nice).

The Carnival of the Damned (Monkey Island 2: LeChuck’s Revenge, 1991): I played the Monkey Islands at a formative time, so the way MI2 messes with structure and canon absolutely blew my mind. The combination of familial revelation, time-bending setting, and intense Star Wars in-jokery, was another illustration to me of how multi-faceted and, well, hilarious games could be.

Selecting the Difficulty (Quake, 1996): it’s hard to stress just how revolutionary Quake seemed back then. I’d played 3D games before, but nothing that felt as fluid or solid. id knew this, and used every chance to reinforce just how big a deal Quake was. To whit: no simple menu. You’re plonked in a creepy 3D church, with three baths: a bridge for Easy Mode, a broken bridge to jump for Normal, and a broken bridge over lava for Hard. Finding the hidden path to Nightmare mode was also a fun challenge.

The Blast Chamber (Half-Life, 1998): another landmark in 90s PC gaming, Half-Life wowed not so much with technical prowess but with intricate artistry. Dynamic sound was a rarity twenty years ago, and having to muffle your footsteps as you avoided then fought against a huge sound-seeking monster was a tense and utterly unique experience. Half-Life’s gorgeous sound design – echoey metal, clipped tiles, electronic beeping – helped enormously.

The Cards Dance (Solitaire, 1990): is there a more joyous representation of victory? You finally get rid of your last card, and – boom! – every single card leaps from its pile and bounces across the screen, trailing echoes of itself, forming criss-crossing bridges of cloned cards, bunched-up borders giving way to wide-angle faces. A firework explosion of lo-res digital cards, supremely satisfying, even more so given the staid nature of a freebie Solitaire game.

So there we are. This was tough; many moments missed the list. One in particular was from Deus Ex, but I struggled to really find a hook to hang it on; rather, it was an almost random occurrence which illustrated the depth of that title’s emergent gameplay. On my first playthrough, I was caught in a firefight with my brother Paul Denton; we awoke in some government facility, and after I rescued him we made our escape and he became “the man in the van”, a voice in my ear for the remainder of the game. I obviously assumed that this was scripted; that both JC Denton and his brother were supposed to get caught in that scene. But then on a second playthrough, he died; my brother was killed and off the game. His role as exposition/quest-giver was filled by someone else. I just couldn’t get over how great that was; to potentially sideline what felt like a huge character. I was incredibly impressed. But still not sure how to categorise that moment, especially as other people may not have experienced it.

But on the whole – games, eh? Momentous.

[zombiescantfly]

Words About Games: Unreal (Epic Megagames, 1998)

Unreal Tournament 2004 is my favorite videogame ever.  It's always a close match between it and the first Unreal Tournament, but 2k4 always manages to win out, if just barely.  However, I am of the firm, unyielding belief that UT2004, when played with both the ‘No Adrenaline’ and ‘UT Classic’ mutators, is far and away the best multiplayer fps experience anyone could ever ask for.  We'll get into that a bit later, because it's time for a bit of an explanation.

Unreal Tournament 2004 turns 15 this year, and I wanted to do something special to celebrate the release of a game I have such an unreasonably high appreciation for.  Up until the day of its official release 15 years ago, I'm going to be putting out one of my infrequent essays on the games in the series I have experience with, starting now with 1998’s Unreal.  I'll warn you, this one gets a bit rambly, but if you reach the end and still want more, take a look at the cooperative non-coop playthrough I did with a friend, where we each played a singleplayer campaign while discussing our experiences and thoughts on all aspects of the game.

But first, a little background.

I was born in 1992.  Wolfenstein 3D, the game commonly attributed as the progenitor of the entire FPS genre (yes I know about Maze and Battlezone and all the various first-person dungeon crawlers) was released three months later.  This makes me just barely older than the modern first -person shooter.  

My dad has worked in the business end of the tech industry since the 80s.  As a result, he was always very close to the then-rising PC gaming scene, and even dabbled in game dev for a few years.  His position in various companies made him a very early adopter of the ‘home pc,’ something still rare up until like the mid 90s, seriously.  He had free reign to take old hardware his workplace was replacing or to buy it for cheap, and by the time I was old enough to start forming memories that actually stuck around, there were two computers in the house.  

In 1994, id Software released Doom 2, and my dad bought a copy.  Thus began the long tradition of young me standing behind his chair to watch whatever he was playing, starting with Doom 2 LAN deathmatch with my older brother, progressing to his playthrough of Quake 1 and 2, and the first stop in this extended flashback, Quake 2’s online deathmatch.

Young me knew what a marvel online deathmatch was, because my dad told me.  It's also just kind of a hard concept for a 5 year old to grasp, especially back then before the internet was in the public consciousness.  Nowadays I doubt there's any lack of understanding, and that's cool.  

(And yes, I know Q1 had online play but I never managed to catch any of it.  Both my dad and brother liked its singleplayer more.)

So where does Unreal come in?  Actually, not until about 2009.  Bear with me.

In 2000, when I was 8 years old, my dad and brother had gone to spend the day at a local tech trade show.  This was a common enough occurrence since we lived less than an hour away from Philly and that attracted a lot of businessy types.  They'd usually come back with a new game or two, and I'd have something new to watch over one of their shoulders.

That day, my brother brought this home.

And said to me, “Hey, you should try this one out.  It's from Epic.”

Or at least something to that effect.

Now, at this point in my life, I wasn't as avid a videogame connoisseur.  The first game I ever truly felt grab me was Starcraft, which I played way more than I probably should have.  But also at that time was a growing collection of titles from Epic Megagames.  Epic Pinball is one of the first things I remember playing by myself, followed by Jazz Jackrabbit 2 and One Must Fall: 2097.

So I'd been with Epic for a while at that point.

So, Unreal Tournament.  Spoilers for the next post, but I loved it, and I still love it.  It capped off my experiences with shooters from the mid to late 90s with the first taste I was allowed myself, no longer stolen from over a shoulder while hoping my mother wouldn't choose then to come down the stairs and yell at me for watching and at my dad for letting me.  It gave me a love for arena shooters, for the chunky, harshly and gaudily lit 3d graphics, for imaginative weapons, for tightly designed maps, and for a special sort of way to deliver a story buried in map and item descriptions…

But I'd never played Unreal.

Once, at a thrift store, I found a big-box copy of Unreal Gold, still in the shrink wrap, for five bucks.  “Oh, I think your dad has that one,” my mother said, turning me away from it.

He did not.

So in 2009, I finally bought Unreal for myself off Steam and promptly returned to the chunky 3d I had probably just been seeing a day prior because I put UT99 on my school laptop.  

Enough digressions, let's finally move into it.

Unreal is a strange game, and more than a little unlike its contemporaries.  See, from 1993 to 1998, shooters were kind of a one-note experience.  You, bad guys, big maps, many guns.  From Doom to Quake to Heretic to Blood to Rise of the Triad to Shadow Warrior to Duke Nukem to Dark Forces to anything else you could find in a magazine for mail-order, the shooter was a pretty standard experience.  Sure, this or that game had this or that thing that set it apart, some were more advanced than others for the time, but the general idea never really wavered:  Click on men from point A to B until you find all the keys and reach the exit.

That gameplay loop made the genre successful, and it's not exactly different now.  Keys could be anything, of course.  They were literal keys, sometimes they were gas for a generator, now they're mostly cutscene triggers, but the point is that you must locate them to progress.  Along the way, there wasn't much other than bloody slaughter to distract you, and that was fine.

It was fine.  For those 5 years.

Then, in 1998, a very special sort of game came out that changed the way not just shooters but videogames in general were presented.  A game that made expectations higher, products examined more critically.  I'm talking, of course, about Half-Life.

On November 19, 1998, Half-Life released and literally changed the course of game development.  It offered players a brilliantly constructed narrative delivered naturally by characters speaking in the moment rather than the then-common blocks of text before or after a level.  The setting, the Black Mesa research facility, was a meticulously planned space made to feel like a real location and not a jumble of corridors whose first concerns were how many monsters could fit in them.  Structured plot points replaced red and blue keycards, well-designed enemy encounters replaced rooms full of cannon fodder, and a new mentality replaced the old.

Which is a shame, because Unreal did something different, too.

Released earlier the same year on May 22, Unreal was the end result of a project always too ambitious for the four years it bounced around development.  Conceived first as a medieval RPG of sorts, Unreal eventually morphed into a sci-fi shooter set amid echoes of that original idea.  

In Unreal, there is no opening cutscene.  There is no opening text crawl or long train ride to prepare you.  The title screen is a looping fly-through of a location in the game made to show off various engine effects like reflective surfaces, particle emitters, real-time colored lighting, animated skyboxes, and volumetric fog.  Selecting New Game sends you to a loading screen where you quickly fade in from black, staring at the wrecked interior of . . . somewhere.  You start low on health and walled in on three sides.  As you step forward towards the only path available, a pleasant, computery voice calls out “Prisoner 849 escaping.”

You are Prisoner 849, you are on a prison ship, and it has crashed.  This is all evident within the first few seconds of the game.  As you progress through the first level, you can see half-broken displays showing the sudden path the ship took, read status logs of engines and ship components, and even get a little taste of some daily life among the prisoners and crew alike.  Yes, Unreal has text logs, but they're the good kind, used to inform the world rather than exposit at the player.  

Very quickly you learn that something else is aboard the ship.  Growls and snarls appear in the distance and screams of terror can be heard through the walls.  Every so often, the same calm robot voice calls out another number, another prisoner escaping.  This all tells us a good deal of the game’s primary theme.  You're just someone.

You are Prisoner 849.  You are not the captain of the ship, you are not the high profile super prisoner, you are not a space marine guarding the ship.  You are Prisoner 849, one of many to board the Vortex Rikers, and one of many to leave.

There are no friendly human NPCs in the game.  Two crewmembers aboard the ship live long enough for you to get close, but one bleeds out as you approach him and the other is slaughtered behind a door stuck partway open so that you can only see a mysterious pair of legs sprint away amid a shower of gore.  Shortly after, you catch a fleeting glimpse of a strange figure at the other end of a ventilation shaft, obscured by fog.

Unreal slowrolls its opening.  It's reminiscent of Quake 2’s opening level, though with no combat.  You're free to wander the small area of the ship, reading various inconsequential text logs and looking at various readouts.  Words like “unknown moon” and “sudden course alterations” pop up, telling - but not explicitly - that coming to wherever this is was unintended.

Eventually you leave, exiting through an emergency hatch somewhere on the side of the ship.  A few steps forward brings you to a somewhat common looking grass expanse, not too unheard of at the time.  You're closer to the ship’s bow, and a short walk around it and through the furrow it plowed in the ground leads to a small rise that still obscures the level until depositing you at just the right angle.

You stand close to the lip of a tall cliff overlooking a shimmering lake.  On the other side, a waterfall crashes over the cliff.  Trees dot the landscape, birds fly overhead, and small critters scurry away from you.

In truth, it looks more than a bit quaint today, but in 1998 it was without equal.  Unreal is a game that put an intense focus on its world, Na Pali.  This is a world inhabited for centuries or even millennia by the Nali, a race of four-armed pacifist aliens with a little bit of magic to their claim.  Some unknown time before you begin playing, another race known as the Skaarj arrive to exploit the planet for a resource called Tarydium, enslaving the Nali in the process.  

Here's where another game might set you up as the Big Badass Hero.  You, the lone survivor of this crash; them, the downtrodden alien race; the other them, the evil tyrants.  But Unreal never does that, because you're just someone.

Remember hearing those other prisoners escaping?  More did even before you woke up.  There's a small collection of Nali huts not far from the crash site where you can find the corpses of a few other prisoners and crewmembers from the Rikers next to some healing pickups - the Nali tried to care for them.  Small bits of visual storytelling like that appear all throughout the game coupled with its smart use of text logs, and it starts strong and stays strong.  A quick swim through a lake infested with carnivorous fish can lead you to a small secret where two dead escapees can be found next to a half-eaten fish.  Further in, a dead human sits in a corner of a room, a dead Nali in the center, a flak cannon pickup on top of the latter showing their frantic last stand as the Nali abandons its pacifistic ways to protect its companion.  Much later, you’re in a Skaarj warehouse where you can see stacks of boxes bearing the same logo from the Vortex Rikers - as you’ve been doing your thing, the Skaarj have gone back and started looting the ship.  

Unreal is a game where things have been happening before you the player show up, and continue to happen while you the player are playing.  The plot does not start with you and it does not wait for you.  You’re just someone who’s been thrown into this whole situation as it unfolds, from a centuries-old conflict on Na Pali itself to the more immediate conflict of the crashed Vortex Rikers and what happened to its crew.  Around almost every corner is another story just like yours, and the fact that we’re playing Prisoner 849 and not Prisoner 521 or Ensign Burt Masterson or whoever else feels like a roll of the dice.  

Half-Life gets a lot of praise for finally putting the player behind just a regular guy.  Gordon Freeman has been made to become something of videogaming’s first everyman in the way that John McClane of Die Hard ushered in the everyman action hero.  But honestly, Half-Life wouldn’t happen without Gordon.  A scientist tells you right away that they’ve been waiting for you so they could start the test.  Without Gordon Freeman, the plot would never have progressed, and that makes it distinct from Unreal.  Half-Life’s various expansions actually do this better; Opposing Force, Blue Shift, and Decay all put you in control of someone who is distinctly more Just Someone than Gordon Freeman.

But Unreal, man, Unreal just does it so well.  Occupied Na Pali is a world that does not care about you as a singular entity.  The Skaarj don’t turn and attack you because you’re The Player On A Mission, they attack you because you’re some dumb human who goes places they’re not supposed to and shoots all their friends (yes, Skaarj have friends, read the text logs).  Hell, your mission isn’t even anything particularly grand!  From the beginning, nobody tells you to do anything, you just wander out of the ship and start trying to find a way to leave.  Obviously from a game standpoint, there’s always going to be a level start and a level end, and you will go towards the end because it’s a videogame, but in the context of that game, the story is “just find a way out.”

There is a thread you pick up on early, though it might be a bit strange and requires some minor explaining here real quick:  in Unreal, you have the option when starting a new game to choose your player model.  You can see yourself a few times throughout the game - Unreal has reflective surfaces in a few spots - so it’s not totally useless.  By default, Prisoner 849 is a woman.  Canonically, Prisoner 849 is a woman.  

Early on, past the first level, you enter an ancient Nali temple, ruined and defaced by the Skaarj over the years, but not without its still-devout followers.  It’s here that you get the first hints of what seems like it might be a story more appropriate for a 90s shooter.  You see a carving on a wall that talks about “the Princess from the Stars” coming to deliver retribution to “the Demons from the Sky.”  Now, if you’ve changed your player model to male, this doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.  But obviously the intent is to key you the player into the mentality that “oh, I’m some prophesied Chosen One, right?”  Yes and no.  We'll get back to it.

See, about a third of the way into the game you come across another crashed human ship, the ISV Kran.  The Kran, gameplay-wise, is a mixed bag of levels ranging from good to meh, the worst of it stemming from symmetrical layouts and a lack of texture variety.  But in the narrative as it unfolds, the Kran is very important.  

So far, you've passed through a dozen unique and varied environments ranging from the cliffs at the start to the ancient temple, to a Tarydium mine near a small village, a high-tech processing plant nearby, and even an old coliseum or sports arena converted by the Skaarj into a torture chamber.  The Kran is your first look at anything human-built since leaving the Rikers.

I'm not going to go through the game bit by bit, but the leadup to the Kran is important.  Throughout that first third of the game, you find escaped crew and prisoners from the Vortex Rikers fairly frequently.  The events of the game are happening without you, and things aren't going well.  

Once inside the Kran, things change a little.  Amid the text logs of status readouts and final words before the Skaarj broke in, there's a tiny narrative being constructed about a crewmember by the name of Kira.  Kira had managed to do much of what you have - she's armed herself and set off in search of a way off Na Pali with a small group of other crew, some of who you find, once again already dead.  One of Unreal’s longest maps comes in around this point, and Kira is a large focus.  She was captured, made contact with a group of Nali also held prisoner in the temple (lots of temples in Unreal, the Nali are very religious), mounted her escape, and had to leave her last remaining crewmember behind, his final log suggesting she headed for something she heard was held in the nearby belltower…

This small aside is a brilliant piece of the game, it really is.  When I said there was another game or another story behind every corner, I meant it.  Kira’s journey from the Kran to Bluff Eversmoking is a full story on its own, and it lends some interesting insight towards a lot of the various prophecies and Nali beliefs you've run into along the way.  From the Kran to the Bluff, you find more mentions of the Messiah, of the Sky Princess.  You, right?  Right?

Or was it Kira?  

Kira followed the same path you did.  Less of it, sure, but she fought the Skaarj infesting sacred Nali temples.  She, an alien warrior, cleansed their holy places of demons who had enslaved them.  A small group of Nali risked their own lives to break her out when she was captured, based only on their horror that she would be executed.  

This is why keeping 849 as the default lady playermodel is important.  The text logs were written with that in mind in order to muddle things.  Are you the Messiah?  Is Kira?  Presumably both of you just want to go home, and maybe falling into a vaguely defined prophecy with incredibly generous qualifications (not Nali or Skaarj, girl, can kill Skaarj) was just an accident.

It certainly seems that way, because when you finally find Kira, she's dead.  Your hopes of finding another living human, the Nali’s hopes in an alien warrior, lie dead on the ground with an empty pistol beside her.  

Unreal, and Na Pali within it, does not care about Prisoner 849.  The story does not revolve around you nor does it even stop to make room for you.  Any one of those human bodies you pass throughout the entire game was another escapee.  Between the Vortex Rikers and the Kran, you follow a trail of bodies almost up until the end of the game.  Except for a very small stretch at the end, someone has beaten you to where you are.  But you go further.  You encounter things no human has.  You escape Na Pali.

Eventually.

If it sounds like I'm taking Unreal a bit too seriously, it's because I most likely am.  I admit that.  But Unreal just creates such a unique atmosphere among games that I can't help it.  Videogames are inherently power fantasies, and most facilitate this by making you play as someone obviously powerful.  BJ Blazinsky.  Doomguy.  Lo Wang.  Duke Nukem.  A jedi.  Even in Call of Duty, where you often just play as some grunt, you get to be the special grunt who sees all the coolest stuff first.  And yes, again, even Half-Life doesn't start without you.  Gordon becomes mythologized even in the first game, to say nothing of Half-Life 2.  In Unreal, there's nobody to put you on a pedestal.  Na Pali has its own problems and you're just plopped down in the middle of them while trying to solve your own.  It isn't your fault that they intersect.

So it shouldn't be that big of a surprise that one of my other favorite games ever is another hero-by-random-circumstance romp through an uncaring world, Dark Souls.  If you like the narrative themes Dark Souls has going on, you'll like Unreal, end of story.

Wait, no, not end of story, because all I did was wax philosophical about the theme for like 8 pages.  I gotta talk about design now, ‘cause hot damn does my love of Unreal not stop with flowery prose.

The Skaarj are the primary antagonistic force in the game, but they're some kind of powerful empire with other races on their payroll.  After escaping the Vortex Rikers, gaping in awe at the waterfall, and spending some time chasing harmless wildlife around the field, the first actual enemy you fight is a Brute.  

Brutes are big lumps of meat with two rocket pistols and a permanent scowl.  They move slow, they turn slow, and they fire slow.  The first one you fight is really close to the exit of an indoor area.  What Epic have done here is create an excellent enemy encounter.

Nothing in Unreal has hitscan weapons.  Ignore Legend Entertainment’s Return to Na Pali, I'm gonna.  That means that everything coming your way can be dodged.  Two rocket pistols sounds scary, but you're in an open area and you have the ability to strafe.  If you're somehow not comfortable doing that while shooting, that's why the Brute’s so big, he's hard to miss.  

From there, you get exposed to the tentacle and the Razorfly.  The Tentacle is essentially a stationary, ceiling-mounted autoturret that fires a single projectile at you every half second or so, and the Razorfly is a big bug that hits you with melee attacks.  Neither are particularly challenging, but all three so far get you ready for your first encounter with a Skaarj.

You're in a small facility and have just shut off a force field.  Coming back through the hallway, bars suddenly slam out from the wall, blocking your progress.  The music fades out.  And one by one, the lights turn off until you're sitting in pure darkness.  You get a few seconds to sweat before the music kicks back in, the wall beside you slides open, flashing red emergency lights appear, and a large shape leaps out at you.

The first encounter with a Skaarj is cramped and claustrophobic, and intended to have you miss a lot of its capabilities.  It runs around, does a forward leaping melee attack, and can shoot little bolts of energy at you.  At the time, you only have two weapons: the Automag, a hitscan pistol with a decent fire rate, and the Dispersion Pistol, a projectile energy weapon you can charge up that acts in the same capacity as Doom’s fist or Quake’s axe as a holdout weapon.  You'll most likely take out the Skaarj with the Automag because there isn't a way to run out of ammo with it unless you try, so you most likely won't see how this type of enemy reacts to projectiles.

Because, see, Unreal has very smart AI, and the people who made these enemies took great advantage of that fact.  The Brutes and Razorflies of the level so far are pretty simple cannon fodder type stuff, they amble around and attack towards you.  Once you're away from that first encounter, the Skaarj enemies have a few tricks.

A Skaarj will try to circlestrafe you.  If you're using a projectile weapon, a Skaarj will dodge your attacks with a pretty damn high success rate (deviously, the very next weapon you get after the Automag is the Tarydium Stinger, a projectile-based minigun, and you start seeing Skaarj commonly around the same time).  If a Skaarj is getting near death and has allies close by, it'll try to run away towards them.  Sometimes a Skaarj will fake its death to try to catch you by surprise.  It won't ever get back up while you're looking or within a certain range, and you can take the time to see if flies start buzzing around the supposed corpse or just gib it to make sure.  A Skaarj will intuitively use cover, as well, thanks to a dead-simple pathfinding mechanism inside the level editor.

A Skaarj is a really cool enemy today, let alone in 1998, half a year before everyone lost their shit over Half-Life’s stilted Marine encounters.

Unreal keeps a pretty steady flow of enemy varieties coming your way, as well.  Various types of Skaarj show up, often with ranks padded out by the Krall, another race they employ or enslave, and they have plenty of variety among them as well.  

But Na Pali isn't just a collection of levels stuffed full of bad guys to click on.  Most levels actually don't have all that many enemies to them, instead relying on strong encounter design over sheer overwhelming odds.  . . . Most.

No, Na Pali is a world, and Unreal wants you to believe that.  The game bounces you between open outdoor areas and various structures at a healthy pace, and it always manages to give it all a fresh coat of paint.  Harmless critters hop around or soar high above, schools of fish scatter when you explore a lake, beasts of burden grumble at you as you charge past their pens, flak cannon in hand.  And better yet, enemies aren't often just waiting around for you to show up.  They have things to do or time to waste, and may very well be doing that when you come across them.  In areas controlled by the Skaarj, you can often see them tapping away at computers or just staring out a window before you alert them, and Krall mercenaries are fond of drinking or playing dice.  Brutes amble around on patrol patterns, stopping every now and then to scratch themselves.  The more feral Slith enemies found near water tend to just be swimming around until they're alerted.

These tiny details make Na Pali feel like a place, and the levels you play through are no different.  From the wrecked Vortex Rikers to the various Nali temples to the Kran and even up to the final levels set on the Skaarj mothership, the levels make room for details like bedrooms, kitchens, and even bathrooms in a way that shooters just sort of didn't usually do at that point.  Sure, you'd have a bathroom in another game every so often, but it was usually there for a gag or some sort of reference.  Unreal makes a concentrated effort to really sell you on these levels, and it works.  There's so much variety in the maps that not a lot has a chance to get boring, though sometimes, as I mentioned before, things can get a bit muddy.  The map Terraniux and the middle levels of the Kran are a bit less navigationally-friendly than they could have been, but there's nothing as egregious as the later levels of Doom or any of the other maps from various games that are mazes first and gameplay sections second.  There are no out-of-place platforming sections or agonizing breaks for switch puzzles.  There's just a world as you might find it in real life.

Another strength of Unreal’s level design is that sometimes it just lets you take a break.  You might go minutes without seeing an enemy, leaving you free to explore your surroundings.  There's even a level that has an entire segment dedicated to calmly floating down a river on a small boat, with no combat at all.  It comes after a challenging combat section and acts as a nice little breather with great visuals and fantastic music.

Oh man, Unreal’s music.  Never before or again have I heard a more distinct soundtrack in a game.  Unreal has its fair share of late-90s electronic tracks, but the majority of its music is a very chill mix of unusual instruments.  I know next to nothing about music, so let me just drop some links real quick.

Dusk Horizon

Nali Chant

War Gate

Surfacing

It's such an intriguing mix of styles, and it's all perfectly suited for the environments you hear them in.  All of the levels are colored very deliberately, and the music matches the mood that texturing and lighting creates.  Coupled with how each track has an ambient and battle section and how it seamlessly slides between them as you enter and leave combat, the levels in Unreal are all a treat to explore, and I really do urge people to look up the soundtrack because it's really just that good.

The music in this game created a precedent of quality that the series kept up easily, and is just more evidence of how committed Epic at the time were to making as immersive and vibrant a world as they could.  It's just another part of a beautifully crafted experience that created a game so unlike any other at the time or since.  

Unreal is a game that is still incredibly playable today.  On a technical level, it's the Unreal Engine so you can pop it onto anything and get it working without any real trouble.  The unofficial OldUnreal patch is easy to find, and is just a single .dll file that gets dropped in the system folder.  But that's not the only thing playable means.  Design philosophies and public reception to various systems and elements of gameplay change over time, and it renders a large number of games either too obtuse or too clunky to really get into.  But there are always games that are timeless.  Doom is still a treat because the only thing in it is shooting, there's nothing particularly experimental to have been done better over repeated iterations.  Unreal is simple in that way, too.  Its weapons are varied, unique, and famous.  Man, I didn't even get into the weapons, but I'll save that for the Unreal Tournament essay.  

My point is, Unreal did a lot, and it did it very well.  It and every other game from 1998 was overshadowed by Half-Life, unfortunately, and that became the game to beat.  Half-Life isn't the reason we never saw another Unreal in the same vein as the first, but I do think that a desire to be the next Half-Life is why the industry moved to such a narratively-focused philosophy.  There was another game three years later that also focused on sprawling outdoor areas mixed with indoor structures, but it didn't have the same lonesome exploration, living world, or details that suggested hundreds of years of mythology.  This game would go on to affect the industry just as much or even more than Half-Life, and was in fact Bungie’s Halo.  

Halo had cutscenes and voiced NPCs and all the things Half-Life made people want.  Halo is another beast, but its success was all but the final nail in the coffin for any hope Unreal had of spawning any imitators.  The era of frantic slaughterfests in key-locked mazes was over, and Unreal’s attempt at carving out a spot for contemplative exploration in living worlds was ignored.  

That style of game would come back, but not in shooter form.  Both Dark Souls and Shadow of Colossus have similar feels to them, and I'm sure there are others out there.  Other Team ICO titles, Journey, there have to be others, there are too many videogames for there not to be.  But as it stands, Unreal is all but alone, and even now, in this wave of 90s revival indie shooters, they aim more for Doom and Quake.  Even Epic would step away from Unreal’s distinctive style with its very next release.

See, Unreal was popular, but at the time, released into an audience high off of Quake 2,  those same people wanted to dive into its multiplayer.  And when it worked, it was incredible.  But it often didn't work.  Epic set to fervent work patching it to fix poor netcode and a variety of other issues, but that project turned into something far, far larger, prompting them to release an entirely new game running on an updated version of the Unreal engine.  New maps, optimized and redone versions of existing maps, remodeled and rebalanced weapons, new music, new gamemodes, everything.  

Unreal Tournament would come out a year later, setting the industry alight in its own ways.  We'll take a look at that next month, so until then, take a day or two to play through Unreal.  I played it and loved it a decade after its release, and another decade won't have changed much.  

[finding49]

CHAPTER 1: AFTER, DURING, BEFORE

"Director Barrett."

A short, balding man looks up from his desk. The office is decorated with dozens of awards and certificates, all with the name scratched out, and the smell of tobacco lingers. On his desk are several reports with black boxes all over them. Director Barrett sighs and removes his glasses to address the voice behind the door. "Come in."

Another man enters the room, carrying with him a certain presence. Barrett sits up a bit straighter as he identifies him. His name tape reads "Kine." "Captain Kine," says Barrett, "something to report?" The captain wears a worried expression. He hands a manilla folder to Barrett. "Cheyenne, sir. We found a bodycam, but no body. Evidence suggests someone made it out alive." "That's impossible." Director Barrett takes the folder and begins laying its contents on his desk. "That place is a no-man's-land right now, how in the hell do you expect me to believe there was even one survivor? Oh." Barrett's eyes widen as he reads the report. "I see."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Location: Cheyenne Mountain, CO, USA Date: [REDACTED] Time: 0342 Objective: Neutralize targets at location. Obtain opposition records at any cost.

Pitch black. Outside of the helicopter was nothing but a void, screaming at Pvt. Randall. Anxieties raced through his head. He wondered if the other mercenaries in his company still worried over missions like this, or if the callouses of time and experience have dulled the overthinker within. Hard not to when you don't even know who you're working for.

A sudden drop. They're descending now. The private steels himself, going over his part in the plan. He has the easy part after all. Open the doors, grab any data he can, escape alive. He looks up, meeting the eyes of Sgt. Yarbrough.

"Nervous, kid?" chuckled Yarbrough. "Don't worry, you'll be fine. You're just tech support remember?" He gives Randall a wink.

Randall nods, but remains silent. Slowly dark silhouettes appear below the helicopter. Trees? Trees. The operation begins.

The helicopter rotates 90 degrees to reveal a large bunker door illuminated against the mountain, guarded by two men. Two mercenaries discharge their weapons from the helicopter. One shot. Two shots. Both guards go down. The helicopter lands harshly, nearly knocking the wind from Randall. Before he can regain composure, he's thrown out onto the clearing.

"Let's go, Randall!" exclaims Yarbrough behind him. Randall gets up quickly, shouldering his rifle and proceeding to the bunker door. He throws his bag to the ground, unzips it, and takes out a jerry-rigged device. The device consists of an old cordless telephone, a microwave transformer, and a rather large magnet. Randall places the device above the bunker's keypad and dials a few numbers.

brrrrrring. brrrrrring. click.

The bunker door begins to open. The two other mercenaries file inside. Several shots are heard echoing within. Randall hesitates a moment before following them in with Yarbrough. Inside, several bodies litter what appears to be a lobby area. Only one body is armed.

"Room cleared, sir" reports a mercenary to Yarbrough. The Sergeant nods and directs them to the next room before turning to Randall. "Alright, kid, lets find the datacenter. Intel suggests we go through the maintenance area." He points to a closet labelled "Utility" behind the lobby's front desk. Randall's eyes drift to the bodies, but he nods and continues.

The utility room is rather barren, featuring only some cleaning supplies and spare lightbulbs, but does indeed lead into a tunnel. The tunnel is narrow, echo-y, and seemingly rather wet. Randall takes a deep breath and treks forward.

Randall opens his eyes. Surrounded by rubble. His left arm... he can't feel it. He can't move it. Trapped under concrete. It can't have been more than a second ago. "S-Sgt. Yarbrough?" he coughs out. No response. Utter silence. He checks his watch

1000 hours. 3 days later.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Rocky Mountains paint the horizon a new shape as the sun sets, disappearing just behind Pike's Peak. Vera sits on the porch, cigarette in hand. It was a rather long day at work. Her client was especially needy, she had no support from her coworkers, and the tools she was given were falling apart. She throws the jammed pistol inside the house, where it lands with a squelch.

She ashes the cigarette before entering herself. A body lays in front of her, still pooling crimson blood, with the pistol sitting inside a rather large chest wound. She sighs and pulls out her cell phone, snapping a photo of the body. Mmm, not quite right. She changes the angle so you can see the face a bit better. There we go. She sends the photo off to her client, then sits on the couch. Since her gun didn't fire, this would be a safe place to lie low tonight. Her mark was single, without family or friends, and did not have a work shift scheduled tomorrow.

Ding. She reaches for her phone.

> Yes, this will do. Good work, Verleider.

I'll be needing a new gun. Make that two. <

She tosses the phone on the couch, turns the TV on, and closes her eyes.

A large flash of light wakes her. Has she been discovered? She dives to the floor, nearly nose to nose with her victim. Watch says it's only 4am. Surely no one knows about this ye-

Suddenly the windows burst and a deafening roar is heard. Dust and debris flies over Vera's head as the bright light continues to pour in. She pokes her head up. There, just beyond the mountain range to the southwest. A ball of fire as bright as the sun. A mushroom cloud. Vera's skin began to crawl. Then it begins to burn. A piece of debris hits her in the temple.

Pitch black.

[shemakesmusic-uk]

This segment features artists who have submitted their tracks/videos to She Makes Music. If you would like to be featured here then please send an e-mail to shemakesmusic@hotmail.com. We look forward to hearing from you!

NADUH

NADUH, composed of TARANEH (aka Tee Krispil), Jenny Lea (of I M U R), Rosita Alcantara (of Off Topic), Giorgi Holiday (aka Giorgi), and Larisa Marie, write, engineer, and produce all of their music – meaning they have crafted a sound that’s truly representative of their collective energy. With heavy influences from 90’s R&B, soul, and modern hip-hop, the self proclaimed soft/hard music NADUH make is representative of their queer, femme/tomboy identities as they dance between themes of empowerment and juicy realness. New single, ‘CHAPSTICK,’ was produced by TARANEH and written by all five members. Flipping the script on the often used line in male hip hop – “I took your girl…” – the crew wrote a queer rendition from the perspective of women having the power and energy to attract other women. The band elaborate: "Women do it better, we all know that. This song is the perfect example of the SOFT/HARD juxtaposition in our music. Remember where the fuck you grew, from fetus to a baby. Every person came from a womb. This line is a reminder to respect your origins, which means respecting women. Women hold the power to both give life and to attract other women. When making this track, we talked a lot about what it meant to own our sexuality in this dominant way and how a song could never summarize the complexities of our sexual identities – ‘CHAPSTICK’ is just one snapshot.” Listen below.

NADUH · CHAPSTICK

Chantae Vetrice

Chantae’ began her professional career in Atlanta, GA working alongside some of the industry’s top producers such as producer J Rell and landed a production deal with Anthony Dent. After living in Atlanta, she moved to Ibiza Spain where she focused on creating her image and coming into more of her own as an artist. Musically, she was able to work with producer Rui Da Silva of the famous song titled ‘Touch Me’ and Sonic Vista Studios where artists such as Lady Gaga record when on the island. Outside of music, fashion and modeling has always been her passion and has allowed her some exposure. Her new song, 'Elevated' is a “song that has a message and is for the culture but still something you can dance to. I teamed up with famous director International P (Mr. Swipey, Fivio Foreign, French Montana, etc) to bring this sound to life,” says Chantae. Listen below.

Chantae Vetrice · Elevated

Priz Em

Virtual diva Priz Em was created to captivate all who witness her. Her sultry blend of husky tones and catchy tracks will move both your spirit and your feet. Priz Em comes to us from the fantasy world, of Mega Centarri; even though she is from a world of fantasy her voice and music are very real. The creative team behind Priz Em’s music are veteran songwriters: Bruce Irvine, Merlin Rhys Jones, Jack Gunderson and Kathy Irvine. Her music is produced and recorded by Canadian legendary producers and musicians: Anthony Anderson and Steve Smith. The Mega Centarri website showcase’s Priz Em’s world and her music in ear and eye-catching detail. Her song ‘Heartless’ is out now. The story of Priz Em’s life is told in the graphic novel Mega Centarri published on Comixology and Crypto Comics. The Mega Centarri social-network game is presently in development. Listen to ‘Heartless’ below.

Joely Smith

South London’s Joely Smith is a member of the band adults and when the pandemic put a stop to that temporarily she spent that time on Garageband creating some new music. Out of that emerged a collection of demos. “The theme of the demos is tempo discretion,” explains Joely. “Not for an artistic reason, but because if you record without a metronome on your own (i.e. poor technique), you really are reliant on that first guitar take. The song 'Pale' feels a bit strange to talk about, but I cared about getting this song right the most and I think that is why it might be worth trying to share. Oh and I’m really proud of the bassline at the end, naturally. It took around a year from writing it to have the cahoots to record anything. Its a little demo call to arms if you like, dont play it cool if this is something you care about, whats the point? Especially if you are over 25. Society regards you as over the hill anyway so you may as well do what feels right and if that is to poorly record all your feelings on an afternoon then you should do that - and maybe people shouldn't hear a testing Macbook mic recording of a dead-string cheap acoustic guitar, but if I don't get rid of these demos then what was the point of learning the drums.” Listen to ‘Pale’ below.

joely smith · PALE

KAHLLA

We’ve probably all been there, at least over the past year in lockdown, asking ourselves: Am I doing enough? Should I be doing more? Does my life compare to my Instagram timeline? German born, London-based artist Kahlla discusses exactly that feeling on her newest single ‘Anything at All’. The track follows up from recent single ‘Thread’ and 2020’s debut EP Sense of Self. On ‘Anything at All’, Kahlla blends a hard-hitting drum machine groove, a driving bass line and stacks of vocal harmonies to craft a piece of personal pop music that’s hard to pin to a single genre. About the song Kahlla says: “I wrote ‘Anything at All’ at the beginning of lockdown, when everything suddenly came to a standstill. That sudden big amount of free time made me overthink a lot and spend too much time stalking beautiful people on social media. Very symptomatic of my generation, but not a good combo! I wanted the song and video to convey that feeling of nothing happening and you just being in your head all the time.” ‘Anything at All’ was co-produced by Duncan Pym (Mysie, Litany) and Kahlla and is the second single off her upcoming sophomore EP Time, to be released in spring 2021. Influenced by artists such as Jimmy Eat World, Lapsley and Death Cab for Cutie this sophomore EP is Kahlla at her most self-assured, releasing a body of work entirely written, co-produced and visually dreamt up by herself. Listen to ‘Anything At All’ below.

KAHLLA · Anything At All

HEAD BALLET

Emerging from the midst of a pandemic, the trio met through a friend, clicked and formed HEAD BALLET. Now living together in Manchester, they harness inspiration from alternative giants such as Orbital and Yeah Yeah Yeahs, creating music which longs for the return of festival tents, packed nightclubs and strobe lights. HEAD BALLET are making art for a new decade bound to be defined by the pursuit of hedonistic escape. Their new single ‘Polythene’ is about the desire for purpose when you’re stuck in a repetitive cycle. Wanting to be remembered, have an element of permanence and to defy pre-existing limits. Listen below.

HEAD BALLET · Polythene