#then again the best ones are amirite haha

[ziipzeepzop-eez]

y'all I think I'm a tragedy.

[ramblinscramblin]

Hi! I loved how you wrote Sniper in the dating headcanons post. Your characterization of him is on point!

Could I please request how Sniper would act in the first instances of dating the reader? Thank you so much, have a good day!

→Honeymoon phase with Sniper!

Genre: slice of life, fluff, the slightest of angst

Characters: Sniper ofc

Eek!! Thank you so much, it’s so very obvious how much I favor him, haha! Let’s get this show on the road!

Sniper

Gets most his cues from you, he’s not so used to being in long committed relationships like the two of you have agreed on, so he’s mostly following your lead.

He can seem pretty apathetic in relationships at first, you have to really understand him as a person to know his true feelings and idiosyncrasies.

Early into relationships he almost pretends that he isn’t dating you, doesn’t make many alterations to your relationship besides occasionally holding your hand and kissing you.

He’s absurdly awkward, but he hides it by being quiet, can’t say the wrong thing if you don’t say anything at all amirite.

“Hey Snipes do you want to go out for dinner tonight?”

He looked at you for a moment before answering “yup.”

You’re gonna have to be okay with planning all the dates and carrying all the conversations for a little while.

Incredibly insecure during intimate moments, not just during sex, but like just private moments between the two of you.

Always afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing, this manifests mostly as inaction, but may make some jokes at his expense about it too. Mostly under his breath comments, things said in a laugh, he would die before he was honest about how he felt.

You may allow him to make the jokes as a sort of way to alleviate his stress, or alternatively you could express that you don’t like hearing him say that kind of stuff about himself, in which case he will stop immediately.

He would do whatever you told him to do, even if he protests against that idea to the moon and back.

Whenever you initiate physical contact with him he freezes, like full on holding his breath. He’s afraid that if he moves you’ll stop.

One night he was sat at the edge of the bed, just sort of staring zoning out as he is one to do.

You came over hands on your hips before gently racking a hand through his hair, bonus points if you call him handsome or something of the like.

Will totally blue screen, face bright red and just stopped his tracks. Whatever thought he was having vanishing into thin air. Secretly praying you don’t notice because if you do you’re going to think he’s weird and stop.

“Relax a little Snipes, this is supposed to be the fun bit,” you say gently.

“I-I’m relaxed, mate. All too relaxed.”

“Right, right.”

He’s pretty shit at communication as I’m sure you’ve gathered, will bottle things up until it all boils over, I could see it causing some problems later into the relationship.

Just be patient, it’s worth it.

He’s pretty clingy right off the bat, again hides this in his own way but it’s glaringly obvious. You’re the only person he’s been able to tolerate this long he’s pretty eager to keep you around.

You stood up on the couch, patting your thighs as you did so.

He flicked his head towards you in an instant “where are you going?”

“Oh,” you turned towards him, surprised as his silent strike has suddenly come to an end “just to the kitchen.” You pointed over you shoulder with your thumb.

He stood up and walked over to the kitchen, waiting for you against one of the counters, staring at the floor. You just kind of blink at him confused for a second. This is his van. The kitchen is quite literally a foot away from the couch and he still managed to follow you. He’s so sick.

Still calls you mate even well into the relationship, only starts calling you “darl’” and “love” about a year into your relationship. Even then he still probably calls you mate a lot.

He’s just really smitten with you and is absolutely trying his best.

Omg THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS REQUEST THIS WAS A DELIGHT TO WRITE. I love this FUCKING dumbass so much. (≧∀≦)

[goosewizard]

it is the second time ranboo is hiding an eye from tubbo, and he forgot how terrible he is at it. they managed to keep it a secret for this long, though, so he can't stop now. they know his preferred eye size, managed to find out his preferred ring size without causing too much suspicion (they think), and today is the day. tubbo should be home any minute now.

oh, they're gonna throw up.

everything is going to be perfect, it has to be. he's rehearsed what he's going to say, how they're going to kneel, even practiced putting the ring on with michael (who is being the best little secret-keeper right now), so it's going to be fine. it's tubbo, how could it not be?

the door unlocks and ranboo promptly drops the box he'd been fiddling with.

he dives after it (quite heroically, one might say), forgetting that he is very tall and the floor is very far away. they land pretty hard on their shoulder but manage to keep the box from view of the door, which opens just in time for ranboo to gain some additional bodily harm as sweet michael all but tramples them to greet the man at the door.

scratch that. the bastard at the door.

because tubbo is doubled over cackling, wheezing something about family guy while he watches ranboo struggle to their feet. they should really reconsider marrying this guy. not even a ‘hello’, a ‘how are you’, an ‘are you ok’, this could be serious, tubbo could seriously be planning their demise. marriage is a lives-long commitment, ranboo can't just pick some guy who's gonna axe them for the insurance money. the guy in question scoops michael up and spins him around while the toddler shrieks in delight.

yeah, okay, plan’s still on.

speaking of, michael is whispering in tubbos ear prime dammit. ranboo suavely (read: panicking) plucks their kid out of tubbo's hands with a haha kids these days amirite and shoos michael off to play. they turn around and tubbo's smirking. aw man. he strolls up to them, grinning ear to ear saying darling, dearest, what is this plan that michael tells me about in that tone where he knows exactly what plan they have. ranboo groans as tubbo dances around them, going awww ranboo you like me so much you want to co-parent with me forever awww with that same shit-eating grin because he knows he's right. the situation would be more frustrating if ranboo wasn't head-over-heels for the man (literally, as of about a minute ago). they suppose he never explicitly said that the secret was to be kept from tubbo. hrm.

welp, cat's out of the bag and tubbo's not gonna get any less insufferable about it, so he may as well just do it. ranboo looks tubbo in his eyes (he's wearing one of the first ones they made for him) and steadily gets on one knee. tubbo's being very composed, but his little goat tail's going a mile a minute. it offers ranboo a sense of relief. its tubbo, and with any luck, it'll always be tubbo.

they begins their speech, only stumbling over their words a few times and keeping easy eye contact with tubbo for the duration. when they get to the part with the ring and almost drop the dang box again, tubbo laughs harder than is really necessary, giddy about the whole thing. they're both smiling hard when ranboo asks tubbo underscore, will you marry me? for real this time and opens the box.

not to brag, but they really knocked it out of the park. inside the box is a simple and sturdy copper ring with a honeycomb pattern etched in. there is also an eye, made of quartz and diamond with a netherite pupil shaped like a heart.

tubbo honest-to-prime squeals and drags ranboo in for one of those kisses where it’s all teeth because they can’t stop smiling. he says yes, of course. the ring is on in an instant and tubbo dashes to the nearest mirror to put the new eye in, asking a million questions about how much this cost and how’d they sculpted it like that and if he can have one of lapis or amethyst next. michael trots over to the commotion and is promptly scooped up by tubbo who tells him michael youre not going to be part of a broken home anymore. ranboo points out that the home in question was never broken in the first place, which his fiancee (!) ignores.

as he watches his husband-to-be show off his ring and eye to their son, ranboo thanks whoever is up there that this is who he gets to spend his days with. to have and to hold, to bicker over flowers and colors, in sickness and in health, in war and in peace, theyll be together, ranboo and tubbo, against the world.

part 1 | part 2

[tricks-tickles]

Are You Happy?

sudden burst of inspo be like:

sorry i dropped off the face of the earth(ish) apparently im limited to three fics per fandom haha

anyway south park amirite

(also psa im bri ish so idk how american unis work so the boys r 18ish here but im p sure i didn't get anything disastrously wrong)

word count: 1459

pairing: Lee!Craig/Ler!Tweek

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Craig?” 

Tweek sat on his bed next to his boyfriend, anxiously tugging on the base of his shirt as he studied Craig’s expression. Despite being the stoic one of the two, he had a strangely tense look about him. 

“Yeah?” Craig said, fiddling with his fingers.

“Uh, are you- ACK, okay? You seem kind of n-nervous?” Tweek asked, twitching a little. 

“Oh, yeah I’m fine,” He responded, still looking at his hands, “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“GAH- uh, because of your uni-university application?!” Craig had applied to the University of Colorado’s astrophysics course and was due to hear back at some point in the coming week. Although he had the grades for the course, he wasn’t sure about his personal essay and had been internally freaking out for a while. It was Saturday now, and his nerves were at an all-time high. He guessed it was starting to show.

“No.” He said, then paused, “Yes. I’m just worried I won’t get in.” Honesty is the best policy, or whatever.

“Of course you will!” Tweek said, winking out of anxiety. “You’re the- GAHAH- smartest guy I know!

Craig hummed, digging his feet into the bed. 

“I don’t know about that…” He muttered.

“And besides! Maybe they’re just BUSY! Or running late or s-something.” He said, screwing up his face in a twitch. 

“Maybe,” Craig said, unconvinced. “You’re lucky you don’t have to worry about this.” Tweek had taken a gap year to work at his parent's shop and figure out what he wanted to do with his life. If Craig was accepted then he would follow him to Boulder, or wherever he wanted to go. Tweek was sure he’d follow Craig to the ends of the earth.

“AH- don’t mention that! It’s WAY too much pressure!”

“Right,” Craig said, “Sorry.”

Tweek twitched anxiously. He had almost no experience in comforting people and was way out of his depth. Craig probably didn’t want to talk about it, and he wasn’t sure what else to do. He gently tugged on his hair, thinking about what Craig had done for him when he was anxious. Slowly, an idea formed. 

“Craig?” He said, again.

“Yeah?”

“Um, do you want me to- ACK- cheer you up or some-something?” 

He looked at Tweek, a little bemused.

“You can try,” Craig said, curious as to what he would do.

Tweek took a careful breath in, then shuffled closer to Craig and, shivering slightly, wrapped an arm around his shoulders. Craig tensed, then sagged into his boyfriend's touch. Despite having been ‘together’ for around eight years, their relationship had only become real two years ago, and even still they were a little shy around each other. Tweek was too anxious to make the first move most of the time, and Craig had no idea how to, so they danced around each other until one of them stepped up. 

Craig had forgotten how comforting Tweek could be if he tried. When Stripe 5 had died Tweek’s hugs had been the only thing keeping him together. He sighed and shuffled closer to him, breathing in the smell of coffee. 

They stayed like that for a few minutes, until Tweek worked up the courage to enact part two of his plan. He placed his spare hand on Craig’s side and began gently tracing his fingers along his hoodie. Craig stiffened again, jumping when Tweek’s fingers twitched against him. 

“Honey, what are you dohing?” He said, stifling a giggle when Tweek’s fingers crept toward his stomach. 

“Well, you remember when- GAH- I was f-feeling anxious about nothing a few weeks ago, and you asked me if you could cheer me up? And I said yes so you started t-tickling me and you didn’t stop until you thought I was happy? And I kept- AH- saying I was happy but you were like ‘I don’t believe you, honey.’ and it t-tickled really bad? Do you remember that?” While he spoke Tweek’s other arm slipped from around Craig’s shoulders, making him squeak and slide down the bed as Tweek started pinching his side. 

“Nohoho,” Craig said, trying to bring his knees up to protect his stomach. Tweek noticed and shifted till he was sitting on Craig’s thighs to keep them down.

“No?! You don’t r-remember? It was only a few weeks ago- GAH-, you must have a pretty bad memory.”

He started scratching Craig’s stomach, making him laugh properly.

“I rehemehembeher!” He cried, his hands torn between covering his face and pushing away Tweek’s hands. He settled on tugging the flaps of his hat till it covered his eyes.

“Oh! G-good. Then you remember that- AH- you kept teasing me too? You were like ‘Does this t-tickle, babe?’ ‘How about here?’ ‘Are you having fun? You sound like you’re having fun.’. So, Craig, I want to a-ask you: are you having fun?”

“Ahahaha!”

“‘That’s not an answer, babe.’ That’s what you’d say.” Tweek said. He had to admit that he was sort of enjoying himself. Craig had tickled him, but he’d never worked up the courage to get him back. Now though, as he watched his boyfriend squirm and blush and laugh under his wiggling fingers, he understood exactly why Craig got him all the time. His laugh was somewhat monotone but it had a lightness to it that made Tweek feel all warm inside.

“Are you happy? Are you h-having fun? Do you- AH like this, baby?” He teased, drumming into his ribcage.

Craig was sure he was going to die. Tweek’s fingers were sending little bolts of lightning through his body, darting around so he couldn’t catch them. Worse, though, was the teasing. He was sure it wasn’t as bad when he did it to Tweek, his stomach was full of butterflies and his face was burning hot. Tweek rarely called him pet names, so he was sure he was about to combust. But the worst of it was that he was enjoying it. It was fun to have Tweek be so playful and close to him and to have all his anxiety chased away by his uncontrollable laughter. Not that he was going to say that to him though. 

“Are you- ERK- ignoring me?” Tweek said, grinning impishly. His fingers wiggled upwards, then lifted entirely.

Craig panted, pushing up his hat and catching his breath.

“Ihihi’m nohoht ihignohoring yohou.” He giggled.

“Then answer my q-questions, love,” Tweek said, still smiling as his fingers twitched in the air above Craig’s chest.

“Whahat were thehey again?”

“Do- AH- do you like this? Are you h-having fun?” 

“Uh,” Craig trailed off, pulling his hat down again, “Maybe…” He whispered. 

“What was that?”

“MahahABYEHEHE!! TWEEK!” He squealed at Tweek’s fingers suddenly wiggling into his underarms. Craig slammed his arms down and arched his back, trying to squirm away from the unbearable feeling. 

“Oops, I d-didn’t catch that.” Tweek said, using his pointer fingers to rub little circles into the divots of Craig’s underarms. 

“I LIKE IT! I LIHIHIHIKE IHIHIT! PLEHEHAHASE HONEY, IHIT REHEHAHALLY TIHIHICKLES!”

“And you’re happy?” 

“IHIHI’M HAHAPPY! WHEHENEHEVEHER IHI’M WIHIHITH YOHOHOUHU IHI’M SOHO HAHAHAPY!”

Tweek squeaked, blushed, and toppled off Craig, falling to the side of him. He shifted and turned to face him, where Craig had done the same.

“Do- GAH- do you mean that?” He said, shyly.

Craig took a few deep breaths, “Yeah,” He said.

He tried to adjust his hat but ended up taking it off and throwing it somewhere vaguely behind him. Instead, he leaned forward, kissing Tweek softly. 

He made a content noise and leaned a little deeper into Craig. At that same time, the doorbell rang and Craig’s mother called him downstairs.

The two boys looked at each other before racing down the stairs and stumbling into Craig’s kitchen, where his mother stood holding an envelope.

Craig took a deep breath in, crossing the kitchen and ripping it open. Tweek felt his heart hammer, nervous on Craig’s behalf. His eyes scanned the text before he closed the letter again and gently set it down on the counter. The tension was so thick you could have cut it with a knife. Slowly, he turned to face Tweek. 

Tweek’s heart sank. There were pinpricks of tears in Craig’s eyes and he was ready to offer the ultimate sympathy when a smile took over his face and he announced, in the driest, most monotone voice,

“I got in.” 

Everyone erupted in cheers. His mother, his father and sister (who had come to see what all the fuss was about,), and Tweek. 

They all rushed forward and Craig found himself crushed between all his favourite people. 

Tweek caught his gaze and smiled, his eyes glittering.

“I t-told you there was nothing to worry about. You’re the smartest guy I know.”

[cultist-vessel]

hey, i know life’s been tough and there’s suddenly a lotta weird people, and you’re literally fourty years old, which, like, mad respect, how are you not going through a midlife crisis right now, but the world isn’t as bad as it seems, y’know? There’s so much cool stuff, like cakes and kittens and. Uh. Um. Uhhh the sun? I guess?? It’s kinda neat???

either way, it will all be okay, no matter how bitchy Black is about you, and it’s A LOT. He literally almost murdered me when i said you went on a bunch of dates- ANYHOW.

it’s gonna be fine :) lotsa platonic kisses and hugs for you!!!

also, trust me, midlife crisises are no fun. Currently going through one, and while yes, i might be too young to have one, with my luck (and this economy) i ain’t living past 28, so better now than never, amirite?? Haha…

" I appriciate your kind words. "

[ It's okay! He's been going through an all the llike crisis since he figured out what a crisis was! It's not just limited to a mid-life one! ]

" I advise that you watch what you say around my lord. I find it is best to only speak when spoken to. "

[ Then again, Lucian would do anything his lord asked of him with (almost) no hesitation. ]

[cherryluvrx3]

meat lovers amirite??

Dave Strider x Reader x Karkat Vantas

Chapter 1

“Christ it’s always so goddamn hot..” Dave grumbled behind the cash register and wiped some sweat off his forehead. It was another Wednesday afternoon that was spent working for the best (not true) pizzeria ever, Pizza Hut. It was early march and even though it wasn’t necessarily hot outside, the heat inside the place was stuffy and unbearable.

It also didn’t help that they had hot pizzas being cooked, going in and out of ovens that let out little bursts of heat whenever they were opened.

“Yeah it’s even worse now that the air conditioner’s broken-“ “AND THAT WE’RE- SORRY I’M, COOKING HOT ASS PIZZAS!” Karkat cut off John, who was mopping in the front, with a yell from the kitchen.

“Stop complaining and get back to work, doughboy!” John shouted back. “DON’T MAKE ME COME OUT THERE!” Karkat yelled and the two were about to start their usual bickering.

“Guys wait, shut up there’s a call coming in.” Dave shushed the both of them and picked up the phone while Karkat grumbled to himself.

“Hi this is Pizza Hut, what can I get you?”

“Yeah hi! Can I get 3 pi-“

“Wait, for pick up or delivery?”

“Oh, uh delivery but yeah can I get 3 pizzas? One pepperoni, one sausage, and one meatlovers.”

“Alrightt… anything else?”

“10 breadsticks and 20 Cinnabons?”

“ Damn- I mean- ok anything else?”

“Uh.. yeah so like…”

They paused and he could hear murmuring in the back.

“Yeah?”

“Can you um.. can you hehe- send your uh, cutest delivery boy?”

…?

“…Haha what.”

“That’s it ok bye!”

The call ended and Dave just shrugged off what he just heard as another one of the harmless pranks he’d hear as someone working the phones and finished putting in the order.

He looked over to the keys that were for the delivery car before thinking, ‘hmm.. it’d be nice to stretch my legs and get some fresh air’ and then snatched them up, swinging them around his finger in a cool nonchalant manner.

“Heh John guess what?” Dave called to John who was now wiping down the windows.

“Yeah?”

“I just got a call requesting “the cutest delivery boy” you know what that means?”

“Uhh.. no?.. what..?”

“That means you can’t go.” Dave snickered to himself and went to the back while John just yelled out an offended, “What’s that supposed to mean!?”

———

“Ugghh!!” I screamed into a pillow right after I clicked the end call button while my friends just laughed at me. “Hey! You forgot to order wings!” Terezi complained. “Oh no! I’m not calling again!” I told her while I felt my own hot cheeks. Roxy, the evil witch who was the one that set me up to humiliate myself, giggled next to me, “Oh my god! Haha! At least he seemed like- chill about it?” Roxy patted my shoulder as I just sunk deeper into the couch, pouting.

“C'mon that’s a good thing! Means it probably won’t be that awkward when you open the door!” “WHAT?” I snapped my head to look at her in surprise.

“Well.. think about it! You’re the one who called! You should open the door.” Nepeta chuckled from her spot on the carpet. “NO??? That means I shouldn’t have to answer??!” I whined as I shook the little cat girl by the shoulders. “Chill your motherfuckin’ grill little mama… it’s not that serious.. besides, if you play your cards right, you might be able to hit it off with pizza boy and finally land a boyfriend or some shit..” Gamzee said also from his spot on the carpet.

“I don’t think I’m getting a boyfriend from this Gamzee..” “I bet he’s gonna be ugly anyways.” Terezi snickered before going back to chewing on one of my pillows ew.

“Well it’s nice to be optimistic right!? A knight in shining armor-“ “You know damn well no pizza delivery boy is a knight in shining armor.” Roxy laughed while Nepeta pouted, “Well we’ll see when he gets here!”

———

About 15 minutes later, the doorbell rings and I get practically shoved to the door while the others hide behind a corner to watch. I pat down a few stray hairs- why am I so nervous? I’m literally never gonna see this guy again, I might as well rip the bandaid off, open the door, give him money, grab the pizza, wait.. wait wait wait - I hung up before he could tell me the price. Ugh now I have to have a conversation with him- oh god fucking damnit..

I open the door and right as I’m about to speak my voice cuts out. Okay, the dude isn’t devastatingly hot but he’s fairly cute, which is wayy more than what I was expecting from a Pizza Hut delivery boy..

“The cutest delivery boy is here.” He says with a smug tone, presenting himself like he’s the best thing since sliced bread.

Oh.

Oh god eugh ..

He’s a prick…

[lovinglin]

heyyy, lara heyy it's uhhh p.ico listen

I'm tryingmy best to type this properly butlike nen.e and ddarn.ell are behind my back. so sorry if this appears rushed n shit I CAN DO BETTER THAN THIS

those two goofheads want me to write a love letter to you I MEAN LIKE I can totally write one up for you IT'S JUST my brain is suddenly not working because they're behind my back and mentioning ALL the cute qualities about you and I'm on the verge of BREAKING THIS PHONE because I'm overwhelmed with embarassment but like you're also cute as fuck SORRY WAIT this is supposed to be FORMAL I'm already ruining this ANYWAYS

LARA look I love you a lot and I think you're so pretty and gorgeous and just the entire synonym dictionary of what I said. I can't believe I'm with a literal ANGEL (haha wink wonk I'm so smart) who loves me for who I am and what I am. genuinely. I still swear on my life that I'll make sure to keep you safe from danger and anything that bothers you. just come to me and say it and I'm right here, cool? yes? of course you understand - that's why we're still together haha <33

Wow that sounded so much better than what was going on in my head, they stopped bothering me now but seriously!

Lara, love you lots - you sweet sweet thing. Hope to see you soon!

- 🍎

( Lara is typing... )

Hey, didn't expect you to send such a long message (or letter in this case) but it's surely a welcome one haha <33

Trust me when I say I'm probably squealing like a schoolgirl irl—after I read what you sent—than what I'm showing here in text (talk about formalities amirite?) but anyway- I assume that you're doing alright, considering what you typed and how those two dorks made you send it. (I don't hold it against them LOL)

Honestly, where do I even start with this? It's so unexpected that I'm going speechless as well about you. I do love you a lot as well though- more than I can say, and no words could probably accurately describe that feeling but I'll still try.

Pico, if there's anyone in this world I'd go to hell and back for, then it'd probably be you- no, it's definitely you. I know you'd swear to protect me but I hope you know I'd do the same. I want you to be safe, more than anything. I want us to be safe.

Because I love you so much, and words really are failing me right now just when I needed them- but you get what I mean right? Sometimes it's moments like these that make me remember those nights where things get a little too overwhelming and the only thing that's keeping us grounded is being in each others arms. Remembering that made me a little teary eyed haha

Moving on, I just hope you know much I appreciate and adore you. Yes, even all your flaws... and stupidity, idiot (just kidding, you're the smartest person I know honestly PFFT). Where would I even be now without you?

Well this became a lot more lengthy than I expected- but can you blame me? No, don't even answer that, you prompted this the moment you sent this message and I WILL be returning the sentiment. Expect me to smother you with kisses the moment I see you again. Love you lots as well, Pico <3

With much love (and soon with kisses too),

Lara

(PS. Tell Nene and Darnell I said hi and that they have my thanks for making you be cheesy LMFAO)

[jellybeanium124]

watching a new simpsons episode for the first time since... season 32? and let's be real I don't remember anything past season 29 because the simpsons got reeeeeeeal boring. but taika is in this episode so fuck it amirite? anyways here's my reaction to season 35 episode 9 "Murder, She Boat."

wow the animation seems worse? something is noticeably worse

I like that bart is acting like a 10yo with the vroom-vroom thing. a big issue later simpsons have is the kids acting like teenagers or even adults (in lisa's case)

homer simpson: nerd hater

wow they're parodying that thing from phineas and ferb!! :D (asdfhbsdgjl I know p&f was doing a parody too)

also there was already a simpsons episode where they went on a cruise and it's one of the best damn episodes of the modern era if you ask me (23x19 "A Totally Fun Thing Bart Will Never Do Again")

ANNOYING ANNOYING ANNOYING ANNOYING

"Oh my God is that Taika Waititi?" I stg lisa's had a line like this every since since season 11. STAHP IT INTRODUCE YOUR CELEBS NATURALLY YOU PIECE OF SHIT HD SIMPSONS EPISODE

remember when simpsons celeb cameos used to be good. because I don't because it was all before I was born.

Why is everyone moving weird. seriously wtf is up with the animation they're too damn smooth

"You know it's good, because it's based on existing IP" ouch wow ouch... ouch it hurts

Comic Book Guy acting Like That™ is the only guy who works because CBG is supposed to act like that. Like CBG should be an obnoxious nerd that you'd root to see homer actually beat up lol. not any other random motherfucker!

CBG shredded bart's comic right in front of him??? jesus christ that dude sucks

You can really tell the producers were like "taika, just read the lines" because his performance is giving "taika, just read the lines"

shut up with your vegemite american writers

see it's cute when taika pretends to have a stupidly inflated ego of his own volition but when the simpsons writers make him do it I'm like "BRO ARE YOU OK BLINK TWICE IF THEY'RE HOLDING YOU HOSTAGE UNTIL YOU SAY THE LINES IN THE BLANDEST VOICE YOU'VE GOT!!!"

What... what the actual fuck was that joke with Kumiko. Like her whole character has always been kinda racist but that was such an incredibly racist joke... what the fuck actually for real was that.

The Futurama reference was cute tho.

CRINGE CRINGE CRINGE CRINGE

there was like, a halfway decent albeit tropey bart & lisa moment in there but then we went straight back into the cringe

"Of course I'll help you. Why? Because I have a medical condition that forces me to be multitasking at all times." ok can everyone shut up forever actually and stop speculating about that man. if the simpsons writers are making that joke it's time to stop

taika actually sounds like he had a gun to his head and recorded these lines for 18 hours until 3am

something weird about the simpsons going on for 35 years is that all the characters sound slightly different than they did in seasons 2-15 now. like they've all aged 35 years and you can hear it in their voices. the kids have this... oldness to them now that, even tho the voice actors on this show are talented as hell, can't totally hide (and who knows they may not be trying to because who gives a fuck it's simpsons season 35)

taika being distracted joke. haha. what if I release the bees on everyone who speculates about that.

I can't listen to the horrible lines they gave him anymore 😭😭😭 "egomaniac" isn't funny 😭😭😭

I mean like it's not like the dialogue anyone else is getting is great either, just to be clear. it's pretty terrible across the board lol. I'm just a titch sensitive to how taika (real man) is being written for... reasons... I mean maybe I shouldn't it's not like it matters and nobody thinks your portrayal on the simpsons is how you truly are. there's a time honored tradition of celebrities being portrayed as egomaniacs or fucking crazy on the simpsons when everyone knows they aren't (bette midler doesn't throw cans at people irl and darryl strawberry isn't a kiss ass... although both those celebrities have their own issues). I guess it bothers me because it is playing up something that's real and fake at the same time, and also this man is getting unduly criticized for a lot of shit rn.

Kumiko's speech was actually painful. "When we got married, I was his priceless collectible." DID NOBODY FUCKING SEE A PROBLEM WITH THAT IN THE WRITER'S ROOM?? DID NOBODY SEE HOW THAT BLATANTLY PLAYS INTO THE FETISHIZATION OF AISAN WOMEN??? Like holy fucking shit what the hell was wrong with the writers of this episode???

wow I love seeing marge and homer be really depressing bad parents -_-

Ok so when Rainer Wolfcastle shouts out his latest movie, that's funny and doesn't bother me. Troy McClure's shtick never bothered me either. Probably because they're FICTIONAL

Lisa said "damn it" ?!?!?!?! SHE WOULD NOT FUCKING SAY THAT. Lisa doesn't curse wtf are you doing she'd say "darn it!!!"

cringe cringe cringe cringe

if I had a nickel for every time lisa simpson solved a murder mystery because of the cuprit's signature favorite food being left on a weapon, I'd have two nickels. which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice, right? (the first time was the 3rd segment in treehouse of horror XV, "Four Beheadings and a Funeral")

taika being mad at people tearing apart his room was the best line delivery he gave in this episode. like there was a real emotion.

sideshow mel saying "who speaks with such an exaggerated affectation!" got 1 chuckle out of me

damn. CBG dropping the doll into lake springfield is just like ed dropping his leathers into the ocean. (not even remotely true)

in conclusion is this a bad episode of television don't watch it

[team-mavericks]

Maverick Shenanigans (Ride or Die, VBHoliday Edition)

Jet and Makoto walk together along the bridge, Jet walking on the side closest to the edge for Makoto's sake. They smile blissfully as they look around together.

"Rosa has completely outdone herself this year. The food, the decor, the activities... It's beautiful. Seeing all these smiling faces, this is why I love the holidays."

"Sometimes I forget you two are friends. I'm kinda jealous. But there's still no one I'd rather spend time with than you." Jet said it so nonchalantly, but it still warmed Makoto's face and heart respectfully. Jet looks up at the top of the bridge and stops for a moment. "Being here reminds me of when we first met. I've never known someone so bold enough to run along the top before. You made it look so easy until the end."

Makoto shifts from fluster to embarrassment. "I used to curse the Pidgy that left me a slipping hazard... Now I thank it for letting us meet... And you, for saving me, of course."

Jet acknowledges the slight shift away from the fall and rolls with it with a laugh. "Not bad for a couple of clowns, amirite?"

Makoto giggles. "Looks like I was the clown in the end, since I joined you. Haha."

Jet turns to fully look at Makoto with a full hearted expression. "And my life has never been better when you did."

There was a small moment of silence where they are both a little bit flustered by their exchange. Makoto has been considering telling Jet how she feels for him, and this feels like the right moment. But just as she begins to open her mouth-

Ring ring! Jet's phone goes off. He blinks and chuckles embarrassed as he goes to check. It's Gatz. He raises his eyebrows in delight. "Oh! Excuse me, one sec."

He answers the phone. "Howdy howdy! What's the word, Gatz? ... Uh huh... Oh? Oh, that's awesome! It's Spheal themed? Can't wait to see it! ... Uh huh. ... Yeah! Thanks buddy, you're the best. I'll grab the key from you later. Alright, have whatever you call fun, man! Cya!"

Now Jet turns back to Makoto.

"Good news! Gatz got our cabin! It's Spheal themed!"

"Oh wow, they actually have one big enough for all of us?"

"Oh, right, you were with Sofia so you don't know." Jet waved his hand in front of his face as to say sorry for the misunderstanding. "We talked it over, and only a few of us are actually staying, but we got a few separate cabins."

"Oh." Makoto thought about it for a moment. "So Gatz got yours and it's Spheal themed. What about the others?"

"He got theirs too, don't worry. Gatz, Tamako, and Gil already loaded our stuff in so we can have fun." Jet nodded.

"So I got my own cabin? That's... Something." Makoto didn't know what to expect but it wasn't this. She's never had a place of her own before, it sounds lonely. But just as she was about to accept it, Jet waved his hand again.

"No no, you're with me!" Jet said, beaming proudly.

Makoto's heart skipped a beat. "Wh-hu-eh? Y-you mean..."

"We share a bed a lot, I figured you wouldn't mind if... We spent the night alone in the same cabin. I want to... You know..." Jet is starting to get embarrassed having to explain himself like this. "I want to spend every day of this festival with you, Makoto. Is... That okay?"

Makoto was surprised at first, but she smiles as she fights the urge to cry and cheer. She doesn't feel cold anymore, she's blushing so hard that she's practically steaming. There's no way Jet doesn't notice, but she pretends like he still doesn't.

"There's nothing I'd love more, Jet. Thank you."

Jet offers his hand to Makoto and she gently takes it. They hold hands and continue their walk, now slower than ever, and right up against eachother.

[cogitrot]

Played Thousand Year Old Vampire for the first time. Wow! My character only made it maaaybe 150-ish years, depending on how I count the events, but considering I dropped her right at the tail end of the Neo-Assyrian Empire and turned her loose from there I can't say I'm surprised all the wars eventually caught up to her. Good job, Dwura. You had a good run.

Highlights:

The Laughing Face In the Water who turned Dwura being I imagine just an ancient as fuck shrunken and desiccated corpse who just scuttles about on its ungodly little limbs doing whatever. They know nothing but being a shit and snack time. Cue Dwura's entire life falling apart in the background.

Dwura's life becoming the yakety sax song as I promptly get several prompts in a row all checking a skill. Every single one. Barely keeping her head above water over here, is Dwura.

Cue our leading lady escaping Nineveh by crawling along the bottom of an aqueduct after being (totally accurately, to be fair) accused of killing her best friend.

Escapes into the villages of peripheral Assyria. A woman alone. Yay.

Eventually meets another vampire. Vampire tries to eat her one (1) friend and also steals the beads her mother made for her. And checks a skill. Like a SHIT.

Dwura takes in these few decades of experiences very, very calmly and makes the totally rational and reasoned decision that picking All the Fights There Ever Was And Could Possibly Be is Good Actually. Don't you just want to go apeshit.

Takes advantage of her immortality and the growing desperation of various locales caught in the middle of the increasing social instability to create a one-woman messenger/delivery service through the increasingly shitty war-torn areas. Half-heartedly pretends to be a man, but that's mostly just taking just enough steps to let people pretend they don't know what they know. Everyone needs this too much for their own various reasons to question the Many, Many Obvious Problems Here. Which is good, because Dwura cares less and less as time goes on. You want to run her down? Run her down! It's not the first time she's been chased out of town! She had six skill checks in a row one time. She's not scared of you!

Dwura, for her part, loves the work! The challenge, the travel, the interesting people, the finding of straggling survivors from the isolated fields of battle or the sacking of villages left unguarded by the troubles, the- (they are not survivors for very long.) It's not like anyone's going to notice a little less blood on the ground than there should be amirite?

It's better if she cuts them down herself, though.

Starts getting a little too into the FIGHT KILL DEATH thing over time, which is fine, but also maybe she needs to chill. Escapes scrutiny/death at one point by joining in with a group of women doing the laundry and ends up helping teach a young girl. Is immediately struck with memories of the best friend she murdered teaching her the same things when she was young. Haha.

.

She would like to return to fight-death-kill now.

That friend who almost got eaten a couple-ish decades back? Well he returns, once again being almost eaten! By Dwura this time, who let herself get a bit too hangry. He once again is not actually killed though, he's just a vampire now. Oops.

And we will never know where that was going to go, because then Dwura landed on a prompt that specifies her need to escape the increasing presence of the war (like that hasn't been her entire life), but she has no skills left unchecked and no more resources. So it finally gets her. I imagine she has no regrets, though.

[lightlycareless]

sorry for any mistakes, english is not my first language going straight to the point, I LOVE how you write the feelings of the characters, it's like a real situation

About chapter 28 kfjgjf, Ranta and Naoya coming up with a plan on how to separate Y/n and Naoki reminded me that scene from Lion King when Timan and Pumbaa try to separate Nala and Simba, but only getting closer to each other hahajah

I love the scenes with Naoki, he is so loving around Y/N, she deserves it after the whole nightmare with Naoya. I am also curious to know the age difference between the two since he is Naobito's first child 🤔

There are so many things that I'm curious to know, how Naoya's first interaction with Y/n will be after all this time without contact with each other, if their relationship can still be evolved and etc.

I'm looking forward to the next episodes hope all is well with you, thank you for writing this story🥺💐



Hello anon!!

Thank you so much for your lovely words 😭❤❤❤❤❤❤ They mean the world to me, thank you thank you thank you!!!! (we out here giving the 5d experience amirite??? ignore this haha)

Yes!! I totally see the resemblance now hAHAHAHAH I mean, that’s probably what’s going to happen considering how Y/N doesn’t even want to see Naoya at all—and after all the things he’s done… can you blame her? I’m team Naoaki as for right now, I’m waiting for Mr. Naoya to wake up and stop his delusional madness, but that’s essentially asking for a miracle hahahah and Ranta certainly doesn't deserve to be wasting his energy on a guy like that 🙄 anyways...

I’m glad you’re liking the scenes with him! Naoaki is a guilty pleasure, but a well-deserved one if I’m being completely honest…. (it doesn’t make it guilty anymore now, does it? Lol) ah, isn't he dreamy?

As for their age gap, Y/N is 18, Naoya is 19, and Naoaki is 26. I remember initially wanting to make him a bit older to basically put a 3 year gap between each sibling, but after checking with the council (you, my lovely readers) I decided to settle for his current age, 26 :> I basically forced their poor mother to birth kid after kid 💀 I apologize.

I do intend to write somewhat detailed profiles of the characters (or at least the main ones) so all this extra information like their age, hobbies, trivia, backgrounds, that kind of stuff, will be available :> but I’ve been struggling a bit because I gotta write down their backstories and most of them aren’t even developed lmao.

As for the rest of your questions, you will see 👀 just a matter of patience, and enjoying the ride!

Once again, thank you so much for your kind words. It really motivates me to keep on trying and doing my best!! I hope you’ll like the rest of the story!

Have a wonderful weekend, take care, and hope to see you soon!!!

[wheresurboytonighthelookslikeenj]

there are two main female characters with about a dozen male characters. one is canonically with the male lead. the fandom ships the male lead with his best friend though, so we can’t have that actually, but we can’t just leave our girls because we love them but they’re strong and don’t need no man hashtag girlboss but they can’t just be single because everyone still has to be paired up so they’re lesbians! we love lesbians they’re very soft and sweet and wholesome but also act as the logical ones as opposed to the disaster gays, always laughing at and shaking their heads at their shenanigans. we won’t make nearly as much art and fic for them but they’re always in the background so u know how much we love them haha they’re sarcastic and so funny and they’re so pure and perfect together! um also because there’s no more female characters i guess they don’t have that many strong friendships with other women. fuck the writers for their heteronormativity we’re so cool for making everyone gay amirite

do you know how devastating it is to see lesbian headcanons and my first reaction isn’t the joy of seeing lesbians being represented and loved and celebrated—instead it’s skepticism, reluctance. because i’m so used to source material and fans alike giving female characters dust. and yes fandom creators work with the crumbs they have and often it’s good, it’s wonderful even. but those trends add up. and i hate cynicism and assuming people are shitty, but this isn’t about assumption of ill intent, it’s discomfort in knowing that this deep-rooted misogyny is inescapable and that it influences all fandom creations and headcanons, including my own. and lesbian headcanons are so often intrinsically involved, often feeling almost like compensation for shafting women so much.

how do i cope with that? the misogynistic lesbophobic amatonormative biases that lurk behind these innocent headcanons that make it hard to believe that non-sapphics actually care about wlw representation. and again this isn’t about individual intent or malice but larger fandom tropes and trends being so consistent and integrated into fandom culture that it’s hard to ignore. but wtf am i supposed to do. media with big fandoms either have casts with men as a majority, are children’s cartoons whose discourses ive seen mushroom clouds of in the distance, or get cancelled by netflix. i hate it here sometimes

anyways do yall have any good recs 👉👈

being a lesbian whose fandoms are very male character-heavy is so hard you guys don’t understand

[selenealwayscries]

fuck you *puts your wizard scar in hanfu*

[otomates-a]

on the bright side, i’ll finally be adding some new pROPER otome characters to my muse list soon ... :’) i’m fucking FINALLY going through my to-play otome list and getting through some games i’ve been putting off as an excuse to take breaks from studying and doing work lmao.

n.ightshade, g.akuen club & oz.mafia will be the first HHHHH

[bentosandbox]

better late than never amirite

i think i haven't posted july (cause I thought global would have released TBC by now...) or october (commission) on here/twitter hopefully i remember to sometime this year

bonus chen edition because well i guess she is my cringefail girlboss blorbo

bonus chenswire edition

bonus bonus extremely boring stuff

films i watched in 2022 (tragedy of macbeth out of picture because it was on the next row)

top 10 (in watched order not a 1-10 ranking)

Marketa Lazarova (1967) Friend was streaming it, liked the script so much I asked my friend for the srt file after Everything Everywhere All At Once (2022) Rocks Petite Maman (2021) Personal Attack Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon (2000) :) My Life as a Zucchini (2016) Celine Sciamma truly don't miss Saturday Fiction (2019) It's not a 5/5 movie but...the soul... the period noir... Nope (2022) The Spectacle dot jpg Hands Over The City (1963) yes i watched this just before il siracusano Decision To Leave (2022) yuriyaoi straight romance can't elaborate Puss In Boots (2022) i'm so glad i didn't watch this as a kid i would have nightmares, but as an adult i got to see my traumas on the big screen yippee!!!

missed a local screening of My Broken Mariko because it only happened for ONE DAY fucking insane (I recommend reading the original manga it's so good)

Speaking of books hmm

Swordspoint yuriyaoi... Invisible Ink reread. and I think I need to reread again Fire & Blood read it after watching hotd ep 1 pretty good series btw dare i say even ...the best on-screen yaoiyuri of the year... Eagle Shooting/Condor Heroes Book 1 Not bad Water Margin Didn't I write a angry rant on this. rite of passage i guess...... How to Keep House While Drowning its funny because i WILL do chores......still good though What My Bones Know - insane how trauma can be so isolating yet universal lol A Wizard of Earthsea if only i read this instead of harry potter back then lmao wow

you can now basically psychoanalyse my issues from the last three books I think

Uhhhhhhh what else am I missing - oh yeah I did 3 gamejams this year (Art/Design and a liiiiiitle bit of trying to do the UI in Unity myself instead of giving the pngs to my friends)

my abysmal steam stats told me i only played 5 games this year so I need to get back my gamer license, backlog is like 75% VNs though what's up with that (there's only 4 games but. well)

had a really long blogpost (basically a 'look at all the things you did this year you didnt waste it' thing thus the above lists) but i think i'll just keep it to my notion notes lest this post becomes a traumadumping ground ecks dee tl;dr failed a Very Important (to me) Thing early 2022 that kind of shattered any crumb of self-esteem i had and made me question everything i did onwards (especially in regards to doujin stuff) and then basically physical health issues affecting mental health and vice versa which is fun but fuck it we ball.....(try)

don't really have any solid 'resolutions' (that i would remember to do) other than to 'live' more than just 'survive' as edgy as that sounds 🥴oh wait oc zine yea yea and go into illustration full time h-haha........... should really get around to making a patreon/fanbox but i really hate the idea of paywalling

also signed up for a AK doujin event in Nagoya in March so I now have a very heavy motivation to finish the second half of my LGD doujin and hopefully I get to table at AX too dot dot dot

[shiroichiban]

not a request but i felt like writing 4town friendzone angst :33

Robaire

robaire quietly watched you as you strummed your guitar, you had asked for his help when coming up with a song and when he read over the words you sent him he couldn't help but feel jealous because it was literally a damn confession. it's not that he hated the lyrics, in fact it was the damn opposite, he loved them, but he knew they weren't meant for him. robaire could wish on a thousand stars that they were meant for him, that he was the one you felt this deeply for, but he knew he wasn't.

you were in the middle of saying something when he refocused his attention on you. not sure of what to say he just smiled and nodded, "so... who's it for?" he asked teasingly and felt his heart clench as he watched you blush before shaking your head and replying "it's a secret ro~"

of course it wasn't meant for him, why would it be in the first place?

Jesse

jesse was busy working on the clay for your joint assignment, though he couldn't help but notice out of the corner of his eye, you talking to another classmate. keeping you in his peripherals he relaxed when you finally made your way back to the table with him.

"who was that?" he asked, trying to keep his tone light.

"oh, just a friend!" you smiled brightly, that didn't reassure him. he couldn't help but feel bitter about the thought of you with another person, just when he had found someone who genuinely wanted to be around him, who didn't think he was nothing but a playboy and fucked around, who didn't just think that he was paying the price by having to take care of his kids with no support.

but then again, why would he admit he wanted you if you were just going to leave him in the end.

Tae Young

"and leave him the fuck alone!" tae young watched you yell at the two boys who were picking on him earlier, his arms desperately wrapped around your waist as you put your body in front of him like a shield. he was safe with you, he was always safe with you.

"ugh whatever bitch have fun with your little princess!" one of the boys spat at you as he walked away with his friend making you scoff. tae could feel you turn around and wrap your arms around him, "hey bud, don't listen to them ok?" you tried to reassure him as tae young nuzzled himself into your embrace.

"thanks (name)." he mumbled as you stroked his head reassuringly, "no worries, i'm your best friend so i'll always protect you ok?"

his heart clenched, the things the bullies did to him back there couldn't compare to the pain of what you made him feel.

Aaron T.

"aww look at you two, a prankster couple i can't wait for the wedding!" your friend jokes as they nudged you towards him but you just rolled your eyes and shoved back. "ugh we're barely 20 we aren't getting married yet right t?" you joked as you looked at him, making his heart flutter for just a bit before he quipped, "yeah at best we're only getting engaged!" he exclaimed.

"ha! well whatever have fun being gross lovebirds~" with that he watched your friend walked off as you scoffed and turned to him.

"that's so stupid though, us being together?" oh. that wasn't the reaction he was expecting. "like we all know you're busy with your career and stuff. you could do so much better than me t, i'm dead serious." t couldn't think of a response, he was supposed to make some witty comment here but nothing was coming to him. everything just hurt.

"we're the type of people that are better off just friends amirite t?" you smiled, rubbing salt into the wound you unknowingly caused, but he forced a smile and nodded.

"haha yeah... just friends."

Aaron Z.

"mm... i dunno z, what if they don't like it." you sighed as he watched you assess over your confession letter for the fifth time at this point. "wish i was better at talking so i could just say it but ugh."

"whatever you make for him is good." z mumbled seriously, he wishes he was the one you thought about so relentlessly. aaron z had to keep these feelings down though, jealousy was an ugly emotion. he didn't need you seeing his ugly side when he was already so unappealing.

if only he could've been more, more expressive so he could actually tell you these things without worrying about you misinterpreting, more funny so he could actually make you laugh instead of him awkwardly staring like a brick wall throughout your conversations, more loveable because for just this once he wanted to be the one for you.

he didn't care about being number one in his fans' hearts, it was all pointless if he wasn't yours.