#then Jason joins A's club. and Dick feels like he is a side char in horror again WHAT THE FUCK | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

prlssprfctn · 7 hours ago

Text

Cryptid!Alfred, who is actually immortal. Like, he cannot die for forever - he did once, during the war, and after that... for some reason, he kept coming back, completely without any additional magical help. He sometimes dies again, and then mysteriously comes back on the next morning, as if nothing happened. Bruce used to it at some point, so instead of asking questions (Alfred has no answers, anyway) he just pretends that it is normal. He gaslights kids to think the same. Like, what do you mean he died, Damian? No, he is alrightish. Look in the kitchen, he is making us breakfast. It probably was just a bad dream.

So, when Jason dies and gets back? Oh, Alfred knows his grandson has the same curse/blessing. Because it wasn't the Lazarus Pit that brought Jason back after all, but some strange, unexplainable force. Perhaps, both of them are just bound to end up as guardians, as warriors and protectors - that's why they keep coming back.

...Nevertheless, it doesn't make their family less... anxious about the whole thing. These two from the other side? Oh, they absolutely enjoy their immortal hang-out hours.

Jason: What was your funniest death?

Alfred: I am going to say... that one time, when I was teaching young master Bruce using a hunting rifle, and he accidentally shot me. I came back in fifteen minutes, and, of course, a poor thing was sobbing, but afterwards he was doing all chores for a month. Wonderful days.

Jason: Damn, poor Brucie... My funniest gotta be that one time, when Roy and I got drunk, and I legit jumped off the building because I thought I can fly. Roy had never got sober that quick.

(The first time Jason dies on the family's watch)

Dick, sobbing: Alfred... Alfred... He died! His neck was snapped! How can I live-

Alfred, casually leaning to snap Jason's neck again: Wake up, my boy.

Jason, dramatically gasping for air: Damn, who made me a massage, while I was sleeping?

Tim: What. The. Fuck.

#little Dick was living in the strange horror when he was little #like wdym our butler respawns I literally saw him dying on the FOOTAGE #after moving out he gaslights himself to believe that it had never happened.#he starts ignoring all strange instances as Bruce after that #then Jason joins A's club. and Dick feels like he is a side char in horror again WHAT THE FUCK #Tim has a record of their deaths and just uses it as a project #Damian doesn't understand the hype. isn't it normal for families? his own do that all the time #(secretly thinks it is cool that A & J doesn't need the Lazarus Pit for that)#Bruce pretends to be nonchalant but he is in the verge of tears every time Alfred and Jason die again #also don't write me about the super punch that somehow brought Jason back alive I assure you it was Gotham (the city) bringing him back /hj #jason todd #red hood #dcu comics #dc universe #dcu #batman #bruce wayne #batfamily #batfam #alfred pennyworth #dick grayson #tim drake

247 notes · View notes