#then BOOM. irreversible damage to the Eternally Unpredictable Other’s psyche. total accident.
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Hard thing to come to terms with is that most of the irreparable damage dealt to you isn’t gonna be done by evil people hellbent on torturing you. It’s gonna be done thoughtlessly by people who don’t know better, or weren’t thinking much of you at all, or just briefly forgot that you are a human being.
#it sucks. cause you want your suffering to mean as much to the cause as it does to you.#and it helps your narrative human brain to have a villain to funnel your rage towards#but thats hardly ever how this shit works.#and if it does then the blow hits different. ppl who hurt u with intent approach u like a person & its the dehumanizing that hurts the most#most of my bad experiences were done by people who were hurting or simply not thinking treating me like a means to an end or a punching bag#the worst thing thats ever happened to me was done by a complete stranger who didn’t Care.#we dont wanna admit Carelessness’ capacity for heartbreak cause all of us are careless. we’re Good People who never set out to hurt someone#but sometimes its enough to just. not recognize someone. be absent minded at the wrong time. get overwhelmed and lash out.#then BOOM. irreversible damage to the Eternally Unpredictable Other’s psyche. total accident.#most ‘villains’ absent-mindedly stumble into the role by total accident. this consciousness shit sucks i wanna go back to monkeytown.#rose ramblings
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