#then BAM i guess??? i had a flashback????? i dont have a blessed fckn clue what triggered it i was just Thinkin My Thoughts
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gonna be real with you guys
#so. so so so#tw ahead for self harm ment.#i left work and got about halfway down the highway routes#planning on writing tonight and eating rice a roni and playing spider man and it qas like heck yeah ���twill be good#and i was jammin out to music and sliding smoothly through rush hour traffic#then BAM i guess??? i had a flashback????? i dont have a blessed fckn clue what triggered it i was just Thinkin My Thoughts#anyway i was aware of the road and wverything but it was like a movie in my head and i was Feeling Those Feelings and hoo boy#pals. i had to pretend my favorite characters were in the car so i could talk out loud and not speed dangerously bc i was SO thrown which.#has a large tendency to toss me right inro feeling self destructive so that i can regain control or something if#*ig#anyway i was partway out of it which was ALSO stressful bc!! DRIVING STILL. HELLO#and then i started feeling nauseous#and ive been alternating between internal volcano of tar and Drifting™#and i went to walgreens and stopped confused twice bc my brain just...*waves hands vaguely*#and finally got to the aisle i meant to#and i bought a new pencil sharpener and if u know. u know and im sorry#i yanked my stuff in the house after breathing in the car foe a while in the parking lot and i unscrewed the sharpener and then i stopped#and it’s sotting on my couch#and i havent cut in just over a year and i only cut like twice the ysar b4 that and basically kust#isten i don’t have myself together either i promise#i’m super positive and i try really hard and i’m self aware#but im just as overwhelmed and lost as the rest of you sometimes#i promise#like. hang in there my dudes#we can just try our best and know that it’s not a straight line#tw: self harm#self harm#cutting
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