#them being ghosts isn’t treated any differently from them being any run of the mill supernatural being

[stark-lord]

I know Charles and Crystal’s kiss in 1x04 has been analysed to the moon and back already, but I feel like there’s something to be said about the fact that it’s spurred on by the line “I just want something that’s real”.

Something about how the most real thing in Crystal’s life at that point is a ghost drowning in emotions?? A ghost just as desperate for something real. And yet the most real thing he felt like he could give her was a kiss that he had to construct halfway in his head.

And yeah, just because Charles isn’t quite as tangible doesn’t mean he’s any less real than Crystal. But ghosts are just snapshots in time, they’re emotions made manifest. That’s in their very nature. Does he feel that gap? Based on where she’s at at that point in her arc (spending half the episode believing her mother’s calling out to her, that there’s more waiting for her out there), does she feel like she’ll take what she can get, in the moment?

A ‘why not, what do I have to lose’ kiss and a ‘goodbye, time to close this photo album’ kiss. When do either of them get something real.

[hello-imasalesman]

i find Bill as a character so…. I don’t know the right word for it. He was such a jackass in rdr1 (lmao weren’t him and Javier both) but even in the first you get this feeling this guy is cripplingly insecure about accurate character flaws. i wrote about that before, how bill knows he’s stupid and how fucked up he is. (And honestly he’s fucked up in one of those like. lmao kind of fun to write ways. R* is so good at writing classically fucked up middle aged men. they’ve got all of them, all the different types and varieties, not just your run of the mill ones)

while I would personally fuck bill williamson up given the chance, and have previously written him and arthur butting heads over Kieran, they generally get along semi-okay in canon, the way you do with a friend of a friend in a group setting where you’ve known them too long but don’t like them much anymore past familiarity. (And let’s be real, arthur both knows and mentions the gang isn’t real family, but also in actions holds them up to family levels of forgiveness and loyalty.) there are aspects of Williamson’s character and how he’s treated you’d feel bad about if he were a better person; but that’s kind of the crux of trauma, is it not? you can be hurt but to hurt, in turn, makes you also a monster. he doesn’t get any sort of redemption, fittingly, i suppose. i think irl its important almost everyone has chances of redemption, but narratively, this way works best. john marston runs him down in Mexico, after javier himself gives him up, after the colonel betrays him. I’m sure he was happy running his own gang, but john popping up like a ghost, i know his last few weeks were hell.

ive never been interested in bill/ kieran mostly because there’s nothing new or interesting there. to play it straight, it would be kind of a by the book abusive relationship where someone runs you down so bad and you fear for your safety so you just say yes because Stockholm is better than being dead. you could go the classique uguu tsundere route but that’s boring and I’ve been over that canon and character butchering dynamic since LJ was bought by the russians. and i think to give bill anything he truly wants (respect, love, a relationship with a man) would destroy him and the point of his character. i mean, could you? yeah, i think the most accurate way, bill could get what he wanted from kieran out of duress, or out of survival. you change kieran completely even entertaining he finds bill palatable. but he could have him out of duress, near the end, and i dont know if anyone would even notice the way they didn’t notice him slipping out of camp after jack’s party. but like i said, that’s not new or interesting. yeah, accurately kieran would shack up with bill for his own survival, but i think it’s a much more interesting thread to take the pieces of him speaking up, of being strong, than to explore the alternative.

that is, to say, I’m excited about chapter 5 because bill, in canon, he’s one of the only ones in the gang to really get choked up about kieran. what absolute madlads over at R*! to make the abuser weep over the death of his obsession, and you truly get the feeling that it isn’t fake, that he’s truly gutted about it! and not in that oh, i wish i killed him instead way, which always feels a bit over the top villainous, a caricature of what Bad People Feel, and i feel like you very rarely actually see that. Disney villains aren’t truly that scary. no, those aren’t crocodile tears. gives me chills. the vision of him, the kieran in bill’s mind, who is that man. It’s not kieran, obviously. But he was entirely real to Bill, and Bill is the only one remaining of the two, and that’s the horror of it.

[thewildwaffle]

Haunted Houses

“You know the translators don’t work for written word right?” Danro grunted, eyeing the small tablet screen his human companion held out to him. It was displaying several small human glyphs.

“It’s just a waiver saying you’re okay with coming in, and that if you have any bad effects from the flashing lights or spooky stuff they use, you can’t sue them because you chose to be here willingly, blah blah blah.” Human Addy again held up the tablet. “Basically it’s just the legal-ese version of everything we talked about earlier. I can read through it for you if you really want.”

Danro let out a growling hum. “Just look through it and make sure there’s nothing in there that wasn’t what you told me earlier.”

“No prob.” Addy pulled the waiver back and scanned over it quickly, mumbling to herself under her breath as she read. Danro looked at the human working behind the check-in counter who was doing their best to not be obvious that they were gawking at him. Not that that bothered him or anything. Standing head and shoulders above most other humans and covered in long light brown and white fur, he certainly stood out from the gathered crowd.

“We’re good to go, everything checks out!” Addy declared, handing the tablet and stylus to Danro. “You just need to write a signature at the bottom and we can go in.”

“But I don’t know how to write in your language,” Danro glanced dubiously at the screen.

“Just take it,” Addy pushed the stylus into his large hands, “You can write in your language, it doesn’t matter.”

Danro doubted that. He sighed. Humans and their contracts. They were obsessed with them, and honestly, the more he got to know of their race, the more he started to understand why. Humans, for all their ingenuity and seemingly lovable natures, could be quite underhanded. They could think their way around and through most obstacles, especially when those obstacles were well-established but loosely-defined rules and expectations. Many a treaty or trade agreement had been swung wildly in favor of the party consisting of or including humans. It was like they lived for loopholes and variable interpretations. Intersystem lawyers have been scrambling to learn from and replicate the style humans wrote contracts. After all, only a human contract could (at least somewhat) confidently bind a human.

He scribbled his name in his own familiar letters, figuring that would have to be good enough. He trusted Addy when she said it was just a liability waiver after all. She had already signed one herself. After handing the tablet and stylus back to the kid working the booth, they were off.

As they walked around the entrance gate, Danro’s mind immediately went into overdrive trying to take in and process the scenery. The surrounding buildings creating the quad the event was hosted in were lit up with orange, purple, and green lights. Queues of patrons stretched along the concrete sidewalks that ran between buildings. They were watching costumed dancers in the middle of the quad as they waited to enter the “haunted” buildings. What looked like old metal trash cans had fires lit inside them with small crowds of humans and the occasional alien figure huddled around them. There were smaller lines in front of a few trailers and booths that looked like they were selling very aromatic foods and drinks.

An approaching figure caught Danro’s eye. It was almost as tall as him, draped in a raggedy shawl, and had a grotesquely disfigured face with lacerations running from the top of its head and across one eye. Danro sniffed. He saw blood, but he didn’t smell it. This must be a human actor in a costume, something Addy had warned him of beforehand. They were likely wearing stilts as they were almost eye level to him.

“My my my, what have we here!” The actor’s voice was both screechy and gravely, a combination that made Danro’s fur prickle slightly. "I've seen many a ghost and ghoul in these mansions, but I've yet to encounter any of the likes of you two." They made an exaggerated show of looking between Danro and Addy, as if sizing them up. “What do I call you two apparitions?”

Addy gave a small chuckled and gestured to herself. “I’m Addy, I’m a human. And this is Danro, he’s a kexi biet.”

“Mortals?!” The mask wobbled a bit as the actor stepped back dramatically and then leaned in to whisper conspiratorially, “I’d keep that information to yourselves while you’re here. Who knows what lurking terror might overhear and decide to snack on your bones!”

Danro smiled indulgently at the costumed human. They were certainly well in character.

“We’ll be sure to not mention it again,” he nodded.

“Be sure that you don’t!” the mask rose up so that the fake, glossy eyes were almost level with his own. “You are a brave biet, Danro. Brave, or perhaps foolish. I do hope you and your small companion survive. Come.” They turned and led them towards the center of the quad. They paused and waited for them to catch up next to one of the trash can fires. “Have either of you been here before?”

Addy nodded, “Yeah but it’s been YEARS.” Danro shook his head.

“What a treat, then.” They pointed to one of the closer buildings with a purple light out front. Danro noticed that the actor’s costume was detailed down to the largely uneven stitches on their sleeves. It gave their arm an odd shape. Or at least, he hoped the odd shape of their arm was just part of the costume.

“Each of these buildings is haunted, some more than others. They are color-coded by the lights of how ‘dangerous’ they are.”

“So is that one the safest?” Addy dipped her head to the building being pointed to.

Their guide only laughed ominously. “Present your passes to the attendants by the door. No running, no pushing, no flashlights or video, no explicit language as it disturbs our… residents, and keep your hands to yourself if you’d like to keep your hands.”

And without another word, their guide ambled off. Addy shuffled a little closer to the fire and grinned at Danro.

“Alrighty then! Which one do you want to do first?”

Danro looked around at the quad. The dancers finished their song and were now walking and milling away to tents to warm up or rest, smallish humans were carefully nibbling on a pink puffy food on a stick that looked suspiciously like hair. The buildings themselves loomed around them, lit by their colored lights and the flickering fires around the quad. Their boarded up windows gave no indication of what was inside, although they couldn’t quite muffle the occasional scream from within.

“I’d prefer it if we could find the one that’s the mildest first,” Danro admitted. “Kind of ease myself into this, if you will.”

“No worries, bud.” Addy started towards the building with the green lights. “I think that would be this one. Green usually means easy, or mild, or good or whatever.”

That’s not what green was usually associated with on his planet, but hey, trying to scare yourself as a method of amusement and recreation wasn’t really a thing back home either. This was all very new to him.

The line in front of the green building moved pretty quickly. As they approached the front, Addy put a hand on his arm and looked up at him.

“Hey, thanks again for coming. These things aren’t nearly as much fun alone.”

Danro smiled. “Thank you for the invite.” Addy had invited a few more from their crew once she knew they’d be planetside on Earth just before what she claimed was one of her favorite holidays. He had been the only one to accept. A few others had gone to a “corn maze” with another human from the crew. Apparently, it wasn’t “haunted” and so appealed to more crewmates. Danro accepted the invitation because it saddened him to think of Addy going somewhere scary alone. That, and afterward it would be known across the ship of how much more brave he was than those who were too afraid to come.

The attendants at the door reminded them of the rules, marked their passes, and opened the doors for them.

Once inside, the doors shut noisily and Danro could feel the confidence he’d held on to outside drip away. His senses were being thrown off in here. The lights were dim, which isn’t too bad, he didn’t have great night vision, but it was alright. But there was something wrong here. He couldn’t tell why, but he could feel it. As Addy started down a narrow corridor covered with cobwebs, he took a deep breath and told himself it was just his nerves. Or maybe, he thought as they continued down the winding corridor, it was all this smoke stuff. It wasn’t real smoke, it smelled different, like minerals instead of burned materials. That was also throwing him off. The first time he saw an amputated human arm dangling out of a bag, he nearly freaked out. It was only when they passed right by it that he realized he didn’t actually smell any blood. He clutched Addy’s shoulder ahead of him as they walked by.

Danro muttered to himself. “It’s not a real arm. It’s not real. It’s not real.” He was really just saying it to himself, but from the way Addy looked back and up at him, he knew she must have heard him.

The next room was divided by a series of ripped and filthy “curtains.” As soon as they entered, Danro growled. The lights here were flashing strobe lights, making it difficult to see. There were human-sized figures standing in the room. As they passed by, he realized they weren’t human, but some sort of mannequins. Good, he sighed. Some of them looked grotesquely mangled and mortally wounded. He was glad they weren’t actual humans. As they were deep into the large room, his heart nearly stopped as he realized that some of them were moving. No, he thought, no, it had to just be a trick of the strobe lights.

Near the exit of the room, one definitely moved. The figure jumped out at them with a gravely yell. Addy screamed and jumped back. Danro froze momentarily and had to remind himself to not attack. They weren’t in danger. This wasn’t real. This wasn’t real. This wasn’t-

Addy scampered through the exit without him. Danro did his best to maneuver after her. The figure that had scared them stared at him with white eyes. That… that’s not normal. Humans have colorful and/or dark eyes. They smiled at him, baring their teeth. Even when normal humans smiled like that, Danro found it disconcerting, but this was on a whole different level. This felt genuinely dangerous.

Addy was waiting for him in the next room.

“Sorry,” she panted. “Didn’t mean to leave you behind back there.”

“Their eyes,” he whispered loudly to her, as if worried they’d overhear and come after them from their room.

“I didn’t even see their eyes. Were they creepy?”

Danro nodded.

Addy smiled, without baring her teeth, Danro noted appreciatively. “This place has really stepped up their game since the last time I was here.”

They continued through, warily watching out for hiding figures, walking through narrow maze-like halls, over uncomfortably soft and uneven ground, and through a tunnel where the walls looked like they were spinning around them. He nearly lost his balance off the walkway. He could have sworn the ground was moving. Even after they passed through that and went up a flight of stairs, he could still feel the dizzying effects. Coupled with his sense of sight and smell being confused around nearly every turn, he was starting to feel the tendrils of dread creeping into his mind. As they rounded a turn, he immediately noticed a dark figure moving in the corner. They looked like they were climbing the walls. After a few heartbeats of analyzing its movements, he realized it was mechanical. Good, it was just a prop then. As they walked through the room, bright lights strobed and the figure on the walls flew at them. Addy screamed again and ran to the door. Danro jumped up and fell back on the ground. The figure jerked to a stop in the air a pace or two away, and slowly retracted back to the wall. As Danro scrambled back up to his feet, he noticed the folding metal lattice mechanics that moved the dark creature. As terrified as he was, he had to admit that that was quite a creative scare.

There were several other rooms they walked through with no actors inside, just creepy dolls and mannequins or unsettling objects that made Danro’s fur prickle. There was a long hall with poor lighting and a very low ceiling that even Addy had to duck to get through.

“I hope nothing tries to scare us in here,” Danro muttered as he squeezed through the narrow passageway. “I don’t think I’d be able to get away very fast.” “I don’t think there’s anything in here. Or at least there wasn’t when I came through here when I was in high school. I think this part’s mostly “scary” because it’s supposed to make you feel claustrophobic.”

Danro scanned the bare cinder block and exposed dim light bulbs along the narrow passageway. Well, he thought, it was certainly claustrophobic in here. He could feel his heart rate increase the longer they walked through here and was incredibly relieved when they reached the end. Addy helped him watch his step as he climbed down from the small exit and into the dim cellar-like room.

"Are you okay?"  She carefully brushed some fake cobwebs from the fur on his arms.

“I’m fine. There aren’t any more small tunnels like that though, are there?” Danro, much like many biets, did not enjoy tight spaces.

“I think there’s another one in one of the other buildings, but it’s nowhere near as constrictive as that, or as long.” She looked up at him with a concerned expression. “Is that alright? You don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to.”

Danro smiled and nodded. “I’ll be fine. I got through this so far, I can handle it. Plus, it’s more fun to do these things together, right?”

Addy’s smile was worth any fright this place could throw at him anyway.

They pressed on and got a few more screams out of Addy and a few more alarmed jumps from Danro. As they rounded another corner and entered another dark room, Danro paused, senses alert to the scene before them. Something felt off, though he couldn’t place the reason why. His fur stood on end and he swore he could see his and Addy’s breath. He could see places where actors were likely hiding in wait to scare them, but that wasn’t where his attention was focused. There was something different about this room and it made his heart rate skyrocket.

He thought he saw movement in the corner of his vision, but when he turned his focus there, expecting to see an actor sneaking towards them, there was nothing. Addy slowly crept deeper into the dark room ahead of him. Not wanting to be separated in a place like this, he tried to stay close. Halfway through the room though, he froze. Did he really see… he swore mentally. Was that a chirnu? What was a thing like that doing in a human attraction? What was it doing here at all? It had no right, no right to exist outside biet folklore and nightmares. The living shadow, or the fang of the shadows, depending on who was telling the story. Danro closed his eyes instinctively. Don’t look at it. Don’t look at it and it might not look at you.

“Danro,” Addy whispered, realizing she no longer felt his hairy bulk behind her.

He said nothing but willed her to remain quiet. The chirnu might hear her if it hadn’t already.

“Danro, we’re almost at the end, just a little further.” She reached back to put a hand on his arm.

A loud shriek and rush of movement made them both jump. Danro swept Addy into his arms and ran. To gadring with the rules! He ran! He could hear laughter behind him and taunting voices that may or may not have been human, at this point he didn’t know nor care. He could smell fresh air ahead and it seemed to be like a beacon of hope to him.

“Danro!” Addy cried out but was cut off by a loud growl to their left. A figure jumped out from the shadows, donned in a ripped cloak, and holding a weapon that Danro later realized was a human tool used for cutting lumber.

How the heck had this maniac gotten in here with that?! Danro dodged to the right. Addy screamed and held on so tightly to Danro’s fur that she might have pulled a few tufts loose. The maniac with the saw laughed and gave chase.

This was a mistake! This was a mistake! This was a mistake!

Maybe if he could just make it outside where the crowds were, they could lose their pursuer. Surely he wouldn’t give chase into public?

Danro barreled through the final door and out into the chilly air outside. Relief! The roar of the saw was still right behind, and so he kept up with his pace. Thankfully, their pursuer didn’t seem to be able to keep up and eventually stopped a ways outside the door to laugh and Danro and Addy ran around the corner of the building and back to the crowded quad area.

Once he was absolutely sure they were no longer being followed, he stopped only long enough to set Addy back on the ground before he started again for the main entrance.

“Hey! Wait, where are you going?” Addy bounded after him.

“We need to let someone know. They need to be warned before someone gets killed!”

“What? Wait, do you- do you mean the chainsaw guy?” Addy was now at his side, but struggling to keep up. “That’s just part of the whole thing, it’s a classic end to a haunted house. There’s no actual chain or blade or whatever, it’s safe.”

Danro slowed and turned to face Addy. He studied her face. She was smiling and didn’t seem at all worried that they had almost been killed by a psycho with a “chain saw.” He took a few deep breaths to slow his heart down. “It’s not real? We’re fine?” He finally managed to ask.

Addy smiled and nodded. “We’re fine. So, first time through a haunted house, what did you think?” Danro looked back to the building they had just run out of. He stared hard at it, trying to make sense of the whole experience. Or mostly, trying to make sense of what he had seen in that last room. Had he really seen what he thought he saw?

“Danro? Are you okay?” Addy’s worried tone snapped him back.

“I thought…” he was almost embarrassed to ask now. Admitting that he had seen what would be to her an alien monster, a mythical alien monster at that, seemed to be a bit laughable now that they were back in the safety of the quad. Addy continued to look at him though, expecting him to finish his thought.

“I thought I saw… a chirnu in there in that last room,” he admitted quietly.

Addy blinked. “Chirnu? What’s that?”

He grimaced. It was said that talking about them could help them hunt you down later. As briefly as he could, he described the monster that terrorized biet folklore.

Addy listened intently and nodded. When he was done, she hummed. “That does sound pretty bad. But I’m pretty sure we’re okay. I don’t think what you saw in there was a chirnu.”

Relief flooded Danro’s system. He felt silly even entertaining the idea that chirinu were for one thing, real, and another thing, here on Earth. Although, that did leave one question.

“Then what did I see?”

“Well, I’m not entirely sure. That last room was definitely creepier than the others. I think it’s genuinely haunted.” Danro tilted his head and Addy laughed. “Although if I had to venture a guess, from your description I’d say it was probably a giant rubber spider. That room did kind of have a spider theme if you didn’t notice.” “Spider theme?”

“Yeah, I think the whole building kind of had a “phobia” theme to it. Arachnophobia is the fear of spiders. Lots of people have it. I just didn’t know biets had it too.”

Danro straightened his back in mock indignation. “I’m not afraid of spiders.”

Addy laughed. “Okay, then you were just pretending back there?”

Danro frowned, but the human’s happy energy was too much and he eventually cracked and smiled back. He looked around at the other patrons, mostly humans, who were waiting anxiously in line. They came to be scared. They wanted to be scared. How odd. And yet, Danro could feel himself still riding the high of his fight or flight senses. From what he understood, humans experienced a similar feeling, heightened by the production of a hormone called adrenaline. He could see how places like this might seem attractive to those seeking that rush.

“Well,” he responded airily, “I thought the whole point was to pretend to be scared.”

Addy laughed and teased. He teased back, recalling and imitating her many screams. They continued doing so while they waited in line to buy a bag of what Addy called “popcorn” and two caramel covered apples. Addy said they were some of her favorites, and caramel apples were a fall tradition. Danro enjoyed both. He smiled as he listened to Addy continue on about things she loved about the season and upcoming holiday before they went to wait in line for the building with the orange light.

That night became, quite possibly, one of his fondest memories. Humans are weird. They think getting scared on purpose is fun. Maybe Danro was a bit weird too because he whole-heartedly agreed.

[year2000electronics]

HLVRAI takes place in a video game- but how does it work?

(a headcanon masterpost)

in the world of hlvrai, half life vr is in fact an actual new game from valve (released in 2020 because of coomer’s line that one time)

HOWEVER, it’s an experimental beta tester copy given to the player

more likely, however, considering the player’s insistence to roleplay and general confusion of features, the player isn’t an actual game tester themselves- they probably got a copy off the internet or from an outside source

in this universe, valve is probably still as big as it used to be in its hayday- taking all holly’s gags about extra features like a hunger meter and a staff ghost gives off the impression that valve grew as a company and wanted more stuff to advertise for what’s admittedly a clunky game for 2020 standards

the player is aware this is a game- however, they wanted to roleplay as gordon and act accordingly (most likely thanks to the influence of machinimas like freeman’s mind)

they’re known to get a bit “too into it” though- they not only act as if this is real, but the player eventually ends up caring deeply for the npcs, which is why the player is GENUINELY MAD about the betrayal etc etc

some of the anxious confusion also comes from the fact that this is just not how the games supposed to be

(benrey ended up actually sending a shock through the right vr controller to simulate the betrayal- so the players right arm did hurt for a bit)

should add that the player here isn’t wayne. with the fiction rtvsolutions has brought to the table, the “player” and wayne being one and the same is impossible from a storytelling standpoint, as wayne knows it’s just him and his friends in gmod

the player, to contrast, is played only by wayne as “gordon”, but gordon also expresses the fact he knows he’s in a game.

so it’s a player who would have HLVRAI as a real game, basically.

part of why the AI becomes so self-aware and breaking the laws of the game is because this is still a beta tester copy- this specific copy would likely designed with the early stages of “self-aware AI” in mind, meaning most testers would probably stick to basic yes or no answers or greetings

it’s because also the ai encounters two personalities it wasn’t expecting: gordon’s and benrey’s

benrey himself was never supposed to be the way he was

despite barney being one of the iconic half-life characters, the real barney calhoun is canonically only seen by gordon near the beginning of the game

benrey is somewhat of a “cancer cell” in the game- he was originally a mistake, a glitch- but being around the other NPCs not only caused them to become more “off the rails”, but made benrey more powerful in terms of the game

the longer the game went on, the more benrey ruined it-

unintentionally, he corrupts the NPCs of the game just by being near the plot trigger (that’s gordon)

every mistake and bad line of code the game does is thanks to benrey existing and fucking the source up

intentionally, he’s become so powerful/made the game’s code so weak that he’s able to just rip it open and assign himself as the final boss

since half life 1 has close ties to the source engine, benrey is able to break the game’s rules and borrow gmod assets (ie the wowozela, and changing his model to be a skeleton)

he also switched gordon’s model to an armless one to “add some excitement”

his final boss form is when he discovered packs on gmod and had a field day

he is able to look at files in the player’s computer, which is how he knows all the stuff he does

however his power isn’t enough to escape the game completely until the acab stream (which puts a whole different spin on the HLVRAI game)

although benrey is a glitch, he was still originally an NPC. his NPC quality is somewhat like cleverbot or ai dungeon- his stories are wild, nonsensical, and may come out of nowhere if gordon says even one thing a bit oddly. like cleverbot, benrey’s AI also has trouble registering when stories are his- although on a fundamental level, benrey is aware gordon is asking him about “when were we friends”, he can’t comprehend enough to say an answer that isn’t “whuh?”

(his repetition of “can i see your passport?” and “you’re not supposed to be in here” may also be his default lines- being a glitch, he would either not have any or be able to ditch the usual guards’ “what the hell are these things?”

tommy is arguably the least NPC-like, but that’s because he is the most important NPC.

he’s the g-man.

in a technical sense, i mean. the g-man was upgraded code-wise to be able to be a “self-aware ai” of his own, but somehow (most likely thanks to benrey being there), the class “g-man” was duplicated- and that’s tommy.

tommy has all the same abilities as the g-man, but since he registers himself as his own being, he’s not really aware of them

all his “seeing faster” from soda is actually the g-man’s timestop

this is why the g-man sees him as his “progeny”- he sees duplicate code but it’s a different person entirely

tommy never fully realizes he’s in a game until the acab stream- it’s not really distressing to him, considering he’s found the news right after gordon’s rescued him from a finished game

he didn’t pick up on the cues that it was a video game because he is an “important NPC”- story events and maps work smoother around him

this is also why he’s the least talkative of the group- unlike tutorial NPCs, it was never tommy’s job to help gordon around the maps

tommy found sunkist after benrey left him laying around from messing around in gmod, and he used the in game science equipment to effectively make him immortal lore-wise

bubby was supposed to be another tutorial NPC, like coomer, but the game messed up and he was assigned both “tutorial NPC” and “hostile NPC” (eg. what happens to a guard whenever anyone bumps into them). that’s why he’s so grumpy. his nature of overconfident attack, only to run back screaming, is a direct result of his two AIs conflicting

dr. coomer is pretty much spelled out from holly’s great performance- a tutorial npc who is also busted

as for why he got busted? too much unpredictable things happening around him. it mostly blossoms from the resonance cascade itself

coomer’s code indicates that RESONANCE CASCADE means ONLY GORDON SHOULD BE HERE

but that’s just not what happens, so he just gets a bit... busted

darnold appearing so late is a result of the bugged game being played for so long that it starts accepting the crazy lore the glitched AI has been feeding it

effectively, the NPCs have the power to change the game because gordon keeps going along with what theyre saying and treating it like fact

which leads to a feedback loop of “yes, and” that causes the game’s cybernetics department to bust and darnold to throw out the complete non sequitur of a mixology department

thanks to this it’s really hard to say why darnold is what he is

however, he still has NPC traits- like the devil gun spiel and how log says he was supposed to break down as soon as they stepped through the door- that’s his dialogue trigger

effectively, he’s a tutorial NPC for a broken area of the game, making him a “self aware AI” just as much as everyone else is

forzen speaks as casually as benrey does, but that’s because they’re “best friends”

forzen used to be a regular soldier NPC who had a pretty run-of-the-mill “mean soldier” AI, but benrey got bored after disappearing time and time again, and decided to make a friend

after copious use of the wowozela and making forzen his “plus one” for looking around the computer, forzen decided being a soldier was lame and he just wanted to graduate

he’s basically “benrey junior-“ a cell infected by the cancer cell that benrey is

the g-man somehow remained pretty spot-on throughout this whole debacle, but once again benrey ruins things

g-man has the level of awareness that tommy does, but since he already has the programmed personality of “the G-man”, he goes about his lore-breaking ways exactly as the g-man would

which is somehow going to chuck e cheese.

basically, benrey is responsible for most of the AI being fucked up- tommy being a dupe plot NPC, bubby being two NPC codes combined, coomer being flat broken, darnold being a sequentially generated NPC, forzen being benrey’s little sith apprentice, and g-man being a father

to end this off: the player has a son named joshua but it’s a little robot gifted to him by a friend who rigged it to have a terrible tts voice that talks about cowboys a lot

[queenangst]

weekly fic roundup #4 (bnha)

weekly fic roundups cover boku no hero academia fanfiction, and generally showcases gen whump fic.

for more fic recs, check out my fic rec tag & my weekly fic roundups.

*due to the sheer amount of fics i’m reccing this week, this fic is going under a read more cut, but please go through and take a look at all of them! there’s around 24 fics on this list.

this weekly fic roundup covers the week mar 8-15.

Tristeza by ViolentlyRed

gen; 6/5k; 1/1 complete; bakugou & aizawa

"Through the lenses of three AM, Bakugou looks a lot smaller in the streetlight of a hospital parking lot."

Or, Aizawa comes to a few conclusions in the span and the aftermath of one long, stressful night.

(Bakugou is hurt and sick and Aizawa is robbed of his sleep and his sanity, yet again)

thoughts: ugh, what a good fic. it hurts in all the right ways, and dadzawa and hurt!bakugou is satisfying in a visceral way.

Wonders Never Ceased by ViolentlyRed

gen; 2.6k; 1/1 complete; bakugou & aizawa

Two calamitous days.

He gets the call from Tsukauchi sometime around nine in the morning.

Or, everything is awful, Bakugou is not okay, Aizawa's heart aches and they somehow get through it.

thoughts: and another bakugou whump from the same author. really a treat.

In Harm’s Way by VIKAN

gen; 19.7k; 1/1 complete; todoroki, kirishima, & bakugou

Todoroki isn't feeling so good, Kirishima is concerned, and Bakugou doesn't care at all.

thoughts: oh, yes. putting these three together makes for an interesting dynamic, especially because it’s todoroki’s pov while he’s dying just a little bit and two idiots don’t know what to do. todoroki whump!

Blooming Gladiolus, Fall to the Ground by twilighteve

gen; 19.5k; chapters 5/? ongoing

When Midoriya Hisashi finally comes home from years-long work outside the country, Izuku expected to have some family down time that he hadn’t ever had with him since… well, forever. Catching-up talk, maybe. Chatting while drinking coffee or eating ice cream at some fancy outdoor patio. Definitely fumbling around for an explanation about him developing a Quirk pretty much out of nowhere.

However, his expectations were turned upside down, because apparently, his father isn’t what he seems, and Izuku doesn’t know what to expect anymore.

What Izuku knows is that the appearance of Midoriya Hisashi triggers a domino effect that sends his whole world toppling down. And honestly, being accused of turning around and becoming a villain is just a bonus. When have life ever passed the chance to fuck him over, anyway?

thoughts: this is, hands down, my favorite fic of the week. i was completely blown away by the sheer concept of the fic. it’s so interesting, and such an original take on “villain” (in a loose sense) Hisashi that i won’t spoil, but it makes for an interesting and tense read. please read this. i absolutely lost it reading this fic.

Get Well Soon by brickboat

gen; 9k; 1/1 complete; jirou & all might

Super hearing can give you access to information that others aren't privy to.

That's not always a good thing.

thoughts: what a mess. i love fics like these that explore what consequences can come with quirks.. like overhearing things you should very much not be hearing.

Oxygen Mask by cinnabee

multi; 2.6k; 1/1 complete; izuku & bakugou (izuku/bakugou)

Static. Smoke. Heat. Katsuki's eyes land on a green lump in the corner, lit up like a ghost by an emergency lantern on the floor a few feet away. Not dreaming. Real. Deku. His fingers squeak across the respirator strapped to his own face. Deku's respirator.

OR: Katsuki wakes up trapped in a burning building with an unconscious partner, very little time, and a borrowed respirator.

thoughts: i’m a fan! [this fic is pre-relationship, so can be read platonically or romantically.]

[rec list continues under the cut]

A Simple Mistake by Silverkleptfox

gen; 5k; 1/1 complete; izuku, iida, & todoroki

It was a basic, run-of-the mill rescue, until a simple mistake from each of the heroes put Todoroki’s life in danger.

thoughts: yes, please! it’s just fun to see how mistakes can blow out of proportion and cause repercussions... 

Alexithymia by LunaLucrea

gen; 2.4k; 1/? ongoing; izuku & aizawa

After a relatively benign villain encounter during an off campus lesson, Izuku suddenly feels too much.

thoughts: intriguing start to a new fic! i’ve read the author’s other works before and am extremely excited about this one. quirk-related whump, sign me up.

A Hero for a Villain by ZeroUnitRGB

gen; 3k; 1/1 complete

“With an appearance like that, you must’ve been bullied a lot as a kid.”

Those words had not been used to disparage Shouji’s appearance. Rather, they most certainly came from a place of sympathy. Shouji had a hard time believing they were evidence of the villain’s hypocrisy, but a reflection of his own loneliness. So even though he was a hero student on the opposite path, he’d made a vow back then. And even though it had been years ago, he swore he would see it through.

thoughts: oh, shouji is so underappreciated and this fic is a great look into his character and his thoughts! i really enjoyed it. [contains heroes: rising spoilers]

Mockingbird by angst_goblin

gen; 10.8k; 2/2 complete; izuku & aizawa, izuku & all might, izuku & bakugou, class 1-a

Izuku gets de-aged to 3 years old and Shota Aizawa is really not being paid enough to deal with any of this.

thoughts: while deaging fics are usually not my fare, this fic was an absolute find and such a great read. sweet, soft, angsty, and funny - covers it all and wraps it in a package of tiny deku. 

It’s a Long Road (We All Need Help Sometimes) by TDFawkes

gen; 15.7k; chapters 10/31 ongoing; izuku & aizawa, izuku & all might

Aizawa wouldn’t say it to the boy’s face yet, but Midoriya was bound to quite the future in the hero world. Quite the natural.

That being said, Midoriya caused Aizawa many problems while in his class, ranging from slight headaches to near panic attacks.

thoughts: catching up on whumptober fic and i love seeing the whump in this one. 

seeing red by pleurer

gen; 819 words; chapters 1/1 complete; izuku & aizawa, kirishima & aizawa

Aizawa wasn’t even surprised to hear the sound of scuffling outside of the dorms at midnight. Disappointed, maybe. But not surprised.

thoughts: a short, nice read. 

Revelation by murple

gen; 4.9k; chapters 3/? ongoing

Class 1A has always known there was something different about Midoriya. It was the way All Might was closer to him than any other student. It was the way he rapidly went from having no control over his quirk to being one of the strongest in the class. It was the way he never really talked about his life before UA. It was obvious he was hiding something.

But secrets can only be kept for so long in a class of curious teenagers, especially when one of them has a quirk specially suited for eavesdropping.

OR

All Might and Izuku have another chat. Jirou shares some things that weren't meant to be shared.

thoughts: really enjoyed this one. another messy “jirou overhears something she shouldn’t have” fic, and i like how it’s turning out! i love a good secrets revealed fic. 

give me everything you have (and then some) by laurenshappenstobemyboyfriend

gen; 7.1k; 1/1 complete; izuku & shinsou

"Midoriya, which one of these guys do you think you want to manage?" the girl next to him asks. "I think the shadow quirk bird boy looks pretty powerful. I'll try and nab him after this."

Midoriya agrees, but his eyes are drawn to a different boy. The one with the mind quirk that can control anyone. The one that lost on a fluke. The one who everyone else already thinks of as a villain to be.

"I think I'll go for that one," he says, pointing to the purple haired boy. "He looks like he can be something great."

thoughts: oh, i loved this au to bits. this fic turned my heart inside-out. i loved the dynamic, and i loved seeing how management student!izuku differs from canon in both a bittersweet and touching way, and how that changes his path forward. (and his relationship with shinsou). 

Nice to Meet You? by Allwalkfree

gen; 9.5k; 11/? ongoing; bakugou & amajiki

Kirishima introduces Bakugou to his favorite senpai.

In which over several encounters Bakugou and Amajiki learn to become tentative friends.

thoughts: now this is a fic that’s won me over in terms of dynamic. bakugou and amajiki are an interesting pair, i love it.

dragged back, pushing forward by RSDobs

gen; 3k; 1/2 ongoing; izuku & todoroki

Midoriya and Todoroki just wanted a relaxing trip to go buy new All Might merch. Howevor that goes out the window when the two of them run into one of Midoriya's old middle school teachers. Specifically, the quirkist one who seemed to have it out for Izuku. Midoriya struggles not to regress into his old mindset and Todoroki struggles to help his friend.

thoughts: oh, yeah. oh, yeah. love seeing fics that bring up some painful pasts, and i like that this one focuses on izuku & todoroki. 

An Accident at Work Study by TestyCanadian

gen; 6.8k; 2/6 ongoing

Izuku is working hard to prove himself at his work study, but it's hard when Sir Nighteye has made it clear he's not wanted. But what happens when Izuku is caught in a villain attack on his way to the agency? Will a few revelations about his most recent intern's past be enough for Sir Nighteye to change his mind about All Might's successor?

thoughts: yes! yeah! we love to see it!

Spring’s Whisperings by scythian

gen; 4.7k; 1/? ongoing; tsukauchi & bakugou

Detective Tsukauchi Naomasa tries to always have good faith in people. It's tested greatly when cases get dumped onto him; such as the case of missing five year old Midoriya Izuku. Few leads and even fewer witnesses that hardly care, Naomosa can only hope for the best. Especially when the only one willing to help is young Bakugou Katsuki.

thoughts: the author and i have been talking about this au for ages and it’s finally posted. i have seen this au at its bare bones and it is now blossoming into a great fic. if you’re looking for tsukauchi fic, bakugou goodness, or izuku whump this one’s for you!

A Shared Consequence by GuardianLioness

gen; 2k; 1/1 complete; izuku & all might

The cold is not kind to injury and old bones.

thoughts: just some nice dadmight!

painting the night with sun by ADreamingSongbird

gen; 6.1k; 1/1 complete; izuku/todoroki, izuku & uraraka

Heroism is not a low-risk occupation. Hospital waiting rooms are not pleasant places. Ochako's clothes are stained with her best friend's blood.

Today has not been a very good day.

thoughts: this fic hooked and reeled me in. a fantastic read!

paid for it (with all of my blood) by theshoutingslytherin

gen; 1k; 1/1 complete; izuku & shinsou

As it turns out, Midoriya has more in common with him than Hitoshi ever realized.

thoughts: this fic, looking at it, is really sad, but i found it really emotionally charged and a good read.

you’ll blow us all away, someday by Origamidragons

gen; 2k; 1/1 complete; eri & kouta

Eri’s first day of school at UA is like coming home.

thoughts: i love eri future fic. sweet and hopeful.

And Now I See Daylight by DancingInTheStorm

gen; 8.6k; 1/1 complete

AnalysisOverload Current mood: HERO CON HERO CON HERO CON HERO CON

AnalysisOverload reblogged AnalysisOverload Okay, let’s talk HeroCon.

Look around, and you’ll see a lot of discrimination—against people whose Quirk is debilitating, against people whose Quirks scare us, against people who have trouble controlling their Quirk, against people who don’t have a Quirk at all. It’s easy to feel alone in a sea of discrimination.

Enter HeroCon:X.

A social media fic following Deku post-graduation.

thoughts: how can i ever express how much i love hero convention fics, especially through the lens of social media and with izuku? it’s a great fic that plays with not only the hero convention idea, but also with quirklessness and quirkless discrimination, and the waves that future izuku is making.

Thaw by Esselle

gen; 2.1k, 1/1 complete; izuku & todoroki, iida & todoroki

Izuku observes as Shouto learns how to fit in after the Sports Festival, with the help of Class 1-A.

thoughts: todoroki has friends! he’s making friends! funny, sweet, and class bonding.

[selfindulgentpoorlywritten]

Is That A Yes?

I’ve re-read this so many times in the past three days I think I went blind for a while. Get it out of my face.

Rating: T

Pairing: Nolan Patrick/Reader

Words: 2858

Warnings: past self harm, drinking, someone gets smacked upside the head

Requested: yes / no

Summary: You don’t exactly hide your scars, but when you leave them visible, people tend to ask questions. Exhibit A: TK, approximately 90 seconds ago.

    There’s an official Welcome Back party between camp and pre-season, but this isn’t that. This, right here, is the infinitely better unofficial Welcome Back party, without any upper management around to make sure you all behave yourselves. It’s at G’s house as is tradition, with just the team and a few select team-adjacent workers-- like you. Really, you just drew the lucky card by working in the Social Media department. With your job, you get to interact with the team in a slightly-less formal manner, mostly just asking if you can use certain pictures or share their public posts. A lot of your job is making memes, honestly. It’s more complicated than that, obviously, because PR (and social media PR especially) is a whole science, but you’re not a fan of explaining all that. It’s easier to let people think your job is just making random memes, not psychology or sociology or market analytics and a hundred other things wrapped into predictive fan outreach.

    But the nature of your job ensures that most of the team thinks of you fondly, which gets you invited to the fun things, as long as you promise not to post them online. Which you never would, because that would be an asshole move, but they still make you promise every time. You’re pretty sure it’s mostly just them fucking with you at this point, but you still go through the motions just in case. Usually it’s G or Ghost or Coots who send you the invites via text, and once you’re there, whoever answers the door makes you hold up your right hand and swear you won’t share anything that happens. It’s kind of fun to have your own little thing with the team.

    Currently, no one’s done anything outrageous, but since Ivan and Oskar are already in a drinking competition, that probably won’t last long. You’re just relaxing in a corner, sat in one of G’s more comfortable chairs while you chat with Voráček about his summer. You don’t really get a summer break like they do, because social media never sleeps, but the workload is at least a little lighter during the off-season. There’s a natural lull in the conversation, which he uses to announce he’s going to get another drink. Once you nod, he vacates his seat to head for the kitchen. Almost immediately, someone plops down in the empty seat in a way that makes it clear that they’re already tipsy, at the least.

    “Y/N!” TK greets, throwing up the hand not holding his drink, “How are you? I missed you!” He always gets this way when he drinks, overly affectionate with his non-stop energy somehow turned up even higher. At least with people he likes-- he’s more than willing to fight anyone who pisses him off, don’t get it twisted.

    “Hey TK,” you say, smiling warmly, “I missed you too.” You did, actually. You missed all the boys when they were away, if you were being sentimental and honest. They were like family. A really big family, made up of huge dudes who slap around a puck and fist-fight other huge dudes for a living. Best family you could ask for.

    “Oh shit, Y/N/N,” he almost-gasps, “Where’d you get those bad boys?” You have no idea what he’s talking about at first, until you realize he’s pointing to your leg. Your leg that is uncovered for once, because you hadn’t thought ahead and had put all your leggings in the wash this afternoon, so they were too wet to wear here. Your leg that is usually hidden, because of the very obvious scars littering it in neat little rows that overlap at certain points where you had run out of room. Your leg that was supposed to be covered by the skirt of your dress, but which had traitorously ridden up when you crossed your legs while talking to Jake. Fuck. Before you can even react, TK is sputtering and outraged, because a hand had come from nowhere to smack him upside the head.

    “Shut up, Teeks,” Nolan hisses. Out of everyone you could have anticipated defending you, Nolan isn’t exactly high up on the list. It’s not really defending you, though, because you can’t imagine TK asking that question if he knew the answer, so it’s not really an attack. He’s not a bad guy, not the type to do something like that.

    “What the fuck?” TK swipes at the beer he’d spilled upon impact, “What did I do?” See? He’s not an asshole, just dumb. Nolan looks at you like.. Something. You’re usually pretty good at reading people, but he seems to be the exception. Rarely can you ever figure out what he’s thinking or feeling, and it’s frustrating, to put it mildly.

    “It’s fine, Travis,” you say, handing him some napkins to dry his shirt as much as he can, “Don’t worry about it.” He doesn’t have to worry about what he said, but now you have to worry about what Nolan said, and what Jakub might have seen too. You don’t exactly hide your scars, but when you leave them visible, people tend to ask questions. Exhibit A: TK, approximately 90 seconds ago. It’s just annoying to have oblivious people ask about them; or worse, people who recognize what they are and pity you. Ugh.

    You stand and take Nolan’s wrist gently but firmly, shooting TK some general adieu before you lead Nolan through the house and into the front yard. You would go out back, but the weather is still nice enough that people are milling about outside, and you’re not looking to have an audience. You stop a few feet from the front porch, releasing his arm and tugging your dress down just in case, which inadvertently bares more of your cleavage, which Nolan’s eyes dart to for a split second before very intentionally returning to your face, but whatever. The point of the matter is that Nolan had literally just walked up at the last second, meaning he wasn’t there long enough to actually see your legs, only overhear the question, which means he already knew about your scars, which, honestly, just, how the fuck.

    “You didn’t have to hit him,” you say, as good an opening as anything. You’ll build your way up to the main issue after dealing with this one.

    “But he asked…” Nolan trails off, like he doesn’t want to address the scars. He looks like he’d rather be anywhere else, doing anything else, than be here, having this conversation. Tough shit.

    “Yeah, so?” you respond, “People ask about them all the time. It’s not a big deal.” It really isn’t. Little kids ask about them every summer when it’s too hot to even consider wearing long pants, pretty much everyone in your office has addressed them in some way, you can almost never wear anything that shows your thighs without someone saying something. It’s not like you’re ashamed of them, or that talking about them triggers you, or anything. It’s just another thing. Another part of your body like anything else. The only time it’s a big deal is when people make it a big deal.

    “I just--” he looks... aggravated, maybe? Like he can’t decide what to say, or how to phrase whatever’s on his mind. You’re not sure what he’s going for, either, so you can’t exactly help. Most of the time, when people do stuff like what he did, they’re trying to protect you, or prevent an awkward situation. It’s a nice sentiment, and all, but usually it ends up creating an even more awkward situation, so. Better in theory.

    “You never talk about them,” he says, finally, “And you always cover them. So I figured… I don’t know. That Teeks asking would upset you, or whatever.” So yeah, protectiveness, but also kind of logical? It makes sense to think someone wouldn’t want to talk about something they hide 98% of the time they’re around you. You’re finding it harder to be mad at him, unfortunately.

    “I don’t cover them ‘cause I have an issue with them,” you sigh, feeling your shoulders drop as you let the anger leave your body, “It’s just irritating to talk about them all the time. But I don’t mind someone asking now and again.” For some reason, it’s difficult to keep eye contact, so you’re getting a good look around G’s yard. His hedges need to be trimmed.

    “Oh,” seems to be the only thing Nolan can say, keeping his arms crossed over his chest, but not as tightly as before. He’s looking pretty much everywhere but you, too, so you feel a little better about your shifty eyes. This is weird. You should say something to make this not weird. How did he even know, though? It’s not like you guys see each other all that often at work, and you only hang out sporadically during the season, and you can’t think of a time you weren’t wearing jeans or leggings around him.

    “How did you know?” you ask, breaking the stiff silence, “About them.” His arms tense over his chest again, and you’re deliberately not allowing yourself to think of how good his biceps look in that position. His biceps look good in basically any position, anyway, so there’s nothing special about this. But damn they look good. You’re not drunk enough to be thinking like this.

    “I stopped by PR last season,” he says tightly, “I don’t know why you were there, but It was hot out, so you were wearing those black shorts.” He waits for the realization to dawn on your face as you realize exactly what shorts he’s talking about. Your “fuck it it’s hot out and don’t give a damn” shorts. That definitely show a large portion of your thighs. Shit.

    “I knew a few people who did… that,” he continues, avoiding your eyes again, “So I kind of figured that’s what it was.” He’s known for a year and never said anything? Never even treated you any differently? No stupid comments, no awful pity? That’s actually kind of. Nice? Even your boss had brought up your scars and talked about how this is an “open, accepting workplace” so you didn’t need to hide them and blah blah blah.

    “Oh,” seems to be all you can say now. Dumbfounded is a pretty good descriptor of your mental state at the moment. You’d had partners who had made a bigger deal out of this than he did.

    “It’s not like it changes anything about you, y’know?” he continues, talking far more than you’d expect, as if he’s nervous, “Like, you’re still the same person, whatever you went through, or whatever.” He’s trying so hard to keep this casual and reassure you at the same time. It’s sweet. The two of you had never been particularly close, is the thing that’s making this weird. You’re not really close with most of the team, but some were closer to “friends” than “co-workers”, and Nolan wasn’t one of them. Well. Actually. Now that you think about it. The two of you always talked for a few minutes when you ran into each other, and tended to gravitate toward each other at events, and had a pretty consistent text conversation going for like, two years. But if someone asked who your friends were, you wouldn’t go straight to him. Maybe because you keep a very intentional distance, because he’s cute and surprisingly sweet and funny, and you might maybe have a tiny little crush on him even though he’s so far out of your league he’s basically playing a different sport (ha ha), and if you let yourself get too attached you’ll only end up heartbroken. You know all too well how this story ends, no matter how hard you hope to rewrite it.

    “Anyway,” he clears his throat after a probably too long silence, “Sorry for hitting him, I won’t do it again. At least, not for that.” You’re still coming to terms with the fact that, shit, you’re definitely friends, so it takes him starting to walk away for you to snap out of it. Your hand closes over his shoulder without you realizing you’re moving, keeping him from leaving. With a tug of your hand that’s more a suggestion than a demand, he turns back to face you, looking… something.

    “Thank you,” you say, “For wanting to defend me. And for accepting that I don’t need it. And for not treating me any differently.” He gives you one of those small, devastatingly earnest smiles of his, and your heart feels like it’s going to break out of your ribcage just to get to him. Ah shit, you opened the floodgates like an idiot, and now you have to acknowledge the fact that not only are you friends, you’re in love with him. Fucking hell.

    “Of course,” he replies, bringing a hand up to cradle your face in a gesture far too intimate for your level of friendship. Just because you love him on the inside doesn’t mean he can touch you like this, so soft and unexpected. Like, you’re not gonna object, because you’ll take what you can get, but Jesus H Christ, it’s a lot. The two of you don’t do this.

    “Ayy!” someone shouts, coming around the side of the house, “I told you guys!” It’s Oskar, of course, shitfaced and waving someone on to follow him around the house. “Someone” turns out to be half the fucking team, most of whom start hooting and hollering upon seeing you and Nolan. Which is-- why would-- what the fuck? You only remember that Nolan’s hand is cupping your jaw when he tears it away like it burns, though your skin is suddenly cold from its loss. He takes a step back and you do the same, realizing what all of this must look like: standing close together away from the party, gingerly touching, looking into each other’s eyes. Yeah, not great. A few of the guys descend on Nolan, mussing up his hair and congratulating him on “finally making his move” even as he protests. What does that mean? Finally making his--

    Oh fuck no.

    No, this is a misunderstanding. Or a dream. There’s no way fucking Nolan likes you. This is one of those times where your friends insist you have a crush on someone even though you’re honestly just friends, it’s all a hilarious mistake that Nolan will set straight and you’ll all laugh about. Laugh about even if it hurts.

    “I would’ve made my move if Oskar hadn’t ruined it!” he finally shouts, swatting the hands away from him. Silence descends over the crowd and you’re sure you’re making a truly ridiculous face. He would’ve if Oskar hadn’t ruined it? Meaning he was trying to-- you’re fucking kidding. This is all a joke, and it’s the meanest prank they’ve ever pulled. This is-- it’s an asshole move, to tease about this kind of thing.

    “Oh shit, Patty, I’m so fucking sorry, dude,” Oskar apologizes, and he seems sincere, but that doesn’t mean this isn’t part of the prank. Carter stepping forward from the back of the group to say “well, might as well, now”, however, is a little convincing, because Hartsy is one of the only men in the world you trust completely, and you can’t fathom he would ever do something this horrible to you. When you look back to Nolan, he looks so many things at once, but mostly nervous, until his expression is overtaken by a steely resolve. He takes two steps towards you to make up your collective steps back, looking as focused and determined as he ever does on the ice, bringing his hand back to your face again. Your skin burns white hot where it touches his, and you can feel how wide your eyes have gotten, but can’t seem to do anything about it.

    “So, I know they kind of ruined it,” he says, more sure than you’ve probably ever seen him, “But, uh. Fuck it. Y/N, do you want to go out some time?” Everyone around you is watching with a palpable tension, like they’ve been expecting this for a long time and are just waiting to see something come to fruition. You weigh the options. Either you err on the side of caution and say no, potentially denying yourself something you’ve wanted for a long time if this is real, or you say yes and have two further options: this is fake and you just laugh along and say you were kidding, or it’s real and you get to go on at least one date with the guy you’ve been low-key in love with for two years. Not much of a decision, really.

    “As long as you don’t bring TK,” you respond, just cheeky enough to fit either scenario. Nolan kind of huffs a laugh at that, giving a small, hopeful smile that ensures you of his sincerity.

    “Promise,” he says, pauses, continues, “Is that a yes?” Your smile could ignite a sun.

    “Yes.”

[analyn100]

Fool Me Once

Catherine Adams loves to play games with Spencer. He may have been out of prison for two months, but like the cat playing with the mouse, Spencer will never be free.

Chapter 12: September 12-24. 2017

If there was anyone who walked the straight and narrow path, it was Aaron Hotchner. That was perhaps why he was glad he was no longer the BAU unit chief. He wasn't going to get caught in the cross-hairs of Alvez twisting a marshall's arm to get a witness protection location. Perhaps he should have been more alarmed at how easy it was to find Jack Vaughn at the local grocery store parking lot of Beloit, Wisconsin. But, he supposed, it was just like old times. His old team had done their share of skirting the law: the Ian Doyle case leapt to the front of his mind. It was no wonder that agents were supposed to stay away from cases to which they had a personal connection. He could only hope that this wouldn't come back to bite Reid.

That wasn't an option.

He stood patiently next to the door of the interrogation room in the Milwaukee field office, Agent Mills was an exceptional agent, but Hotch didn't like the doubt lingering in his eyes.

"Agent Hotchner, are you sure? You got the clearance for this? Going to the Marshalls service when you're an inactive agent? How?"

"It's been cleared." That was all Mills needed to know. "I'd like to be in the room, if that's okay?" Asking permission didn't come easily, but this wasn't his case.

"Of course." Apparently his reputation proceeded him.

"Let's go." Hotch led the way, once again coming face to face with the man who sent him the most uneasy signals. It went against everything in his brain to treat a killer as a victim. That case had left a knot in his stomach every time he thought about it. Like George Foyet, a deal with the devil had let him walk free for far too long. It was time to right that wrong. "Mr. Adams." His greet was curt and to the point - many points.

Jack Vaughn made no effort to correct him, but he also didn't look worried. Bored, maybe...

"Agent Hotchner. What is your team's fascination with me these days?"

"This is about your daughters." He slapped two photos in on the table. "Lindsey Vaughn or should I say Katelyn Adams and her older sister, Catherine Adams."

"Kitty?" His eyes were pulled to Cat's photo almost as if it were magnetized. "What happened?" His concern...at least looked genuine. "Is she okay?"

"She's not a victim if that's what worries you." It was one thing to have Garcia bring this insane theory to him, it was another for Jack to recognize her picture, to make no objection to the name. "She's pregnant... and currently in prison, but she’s safe.."

"Well if you want the goods on her, agents, I'm afraid I can't help you. I haven't seen her since she was four."

"We don't need the goods on her. She's currently in for life on four murder counts and conspiracy." They were sure there were more, but their objective had been met. "She's no longer a danger to society." Or so they had thought. "Katelyn, on the -"

"Don't call her that!"

"I'm sorry. Is that not her real name?"

"It is, but I've known her as Lindsey for far longer. And Katelyn...she stopped being Katelyn after her mother died. There's no way Bethany would have raised her like -"

"You mean if she had stayed as Katelyn - if she had never witnessed your murder - she never would have become the woman who is currently incarcerated on 10 counts of murder."

"Exactly. I should have listened to him. I've never regretted anything more in my life. Your Agent...Reid. The skinny kid who was coloring in maps and looking into my computer. He told me this would happen, that Lindsey's life would be about violence. Her life would have been so much better.”

When does it end, Jack? It would never end. It was too late.

"Funny that you mention him." Actually it wasn't 'funny' at all.

Jack understood in a heartbeat. “I'm sorry about what happened to him in Mexico, what Lindsey did to him. I'm just glad he's...okay. Out, at least."

Hotch pulled another file out of his folder: Reid's mugshot from the county jail in Michigan. "He's not. He was arrested two months later. We're certain that Lindsey's working with someone on the outside to set him up."

"I'm so sorry." He genuinely sounded distressed. He looked like the ghost of his former self, but Hotch wasn't going to take him at his word. Actions were the only thing that mattered.

"Good, then you can help us."

"How? I have no idea what she's been up to. She doesn't talk to me much anymore, not of anything of importance anyway."

"But she'll talk to you."

"You want me to turn my back on my daughter -? "

"You already did that...and too many people have paid the price for it. Your daughters have already been convicted for multiple murders. They will both be incarcerated for life no matter what you do at this point, but you can still save my agent because he doesn't deserve this. He doesn't deserve to go down for your daughter's crimes, not after he tried to save Katelyn!" Technically, no ever deserved that but best to appeal to his protective paternal side if this had any hope of working.

"And if I refuse?"

"I thought you wanted to help him?"

"Not at my daughter's expense. I'm sorry, but I'm her father. Protecting her is my first priority. It always has been, it always will be."

Hotch raised an eyebrow, imaging him saying those words to Cat. "Well then do it for yourself."

"You think helping one man is going to what - settle my debts? Make up for everything I've done?" He scoffed. "There is no redemption for me."

"No, there isn't. Agent Mills?" He would have to take over as the official agent. Hotch was, after all, only consulting...officially.

Mills, who had been standing in the background, supervising, took a seat. "Mr. Adams, if you help us, if you talk to Lindsey and give us the information we need to get a confession from her, then we're prepared to offer you a deal of 5-10 years at the same facility as your daughters."

"A deal? For what? You can't charge me! My testimony came with immunity!"

"For the crimes associated with the McCrelin Corp., yes. But the brothers walked. Your testimony put away three hitmen such as yourself. It took another 10 years for another associate to turn State Witness. They were finally convicted of lesser felonies in April. Quite frankly, your usefulness to the State has run its course and WitSec was only too eager to see you pay. And since there's no statute of limitations on murder, you are finally under arrest for the murder of Ryan Phillips."

Two Weeks later

Penelope Garcia hated psychopaths...really, really hated them.

She tugged at the purple scarf around her neck, Reid's purple scarf. His favorite purple scarf. "I'm doing this for you, Boy Wonder." She could only hope it was the last time. She triple-checked the camera settings, the battery...it wouldn't do to miss. Anything.

The guard brought in Lindsey, shackling the woman to the chair as requested.

"Miss Vaughn, it's nice to see you again." She was glad she hadn't eaten this time. She was sure vomiting in front of Lindsey would have given the whole game up, and it had been a near-miss last time.

"Agent Garcia." Even in prison she couldn't help strutting. Her head held high. It didn't look like this place had fazed her at all.

Time to wipe that smile off her face. "Let's see." Garcia turned her attention to the scattered photographs. "Part of our ViCap program is studying not only a killer's method, M.O. and signature, but also the motive. As the saying goes, let the punishment fit the crime. So why did these victims deserve this ultimate punishment?"

It wasn't hard to get her talking. Her convoluted logic was sending Garcia's head in circles...even though she'd heard it all before. It was greed and revenge: plain and simple. Combined with the mind of a psychopath and no morales, it was clearly a dangerous combination. Except, she did have morals of some kind. Hotch said she would go with Katie Owen sometimes, to make sure she was safe. That was what had gotten them both abducted.

"Well if they deserve it so much...why stop there? After all, what Phillips did to your friend, Katie -"

"Don't talk about her! She didn't deserve - "

"She was innocent. It's hard to watch an innocent friend suffer." Oh how true that was. "So, what about her?" Garcia picked up Cassie's photo, leaving the bottom one to stick out slightly. "We couldn't find any drug cartel traces to her, so why did she deserve it?"

The answer of course, was that she didn't...and Lindsey knew it. Garcia didn't take her eyes off of Lindsey's startled face. If she caught on... "Her name was Cassie - "

"I remember."

"She wasn't left in the desert. She was found in an apartment with...several surveillance photographs, which suggests that you wanted her found. Why? You'd gotten away with so many kills. Why was hers so different?"

"It was personal."

"Personal? The only connection to you was the weapon you used. There was no overlap among any social circles that we could find."

"She was in my way. Wrong place, wrong time. That was all."

"Then why not go back and hide the body? Why leave the pictures? You were obviously trying to send a message. Now is your chance."

"It was received...and I was arrested that night. So I had no chance to move it."

Garcia had to struggle to maintain composure as Lindsey's smile disappeared. "Okay, we don't have to talk about it. It's your story, but if you don't want to tell it." Garcia shrugged. Interrogation tactics were...essentially forbidden. But that didn't mean that she didn't have any tricks up her sleeve.

"How about another picture?" Take it, take it. Garcia had deliberately placed the photos haphazardly across the table, one in particular was partly obscured under the stack. She crossed her ankles under the table to stop the nervous taping.

Lindsey pushed photo after a photo aside, looking for -

Yes!

Lindsey's eyes went wide, her eyes glued to the photo of a smiling brunette in a bright red jacket. Clearly not the one she had been looking for, and yet her eyes were drawn to it. "Julia Kelting?"

Yahtzee! She wanted to jump up and dance, but it wasn't quite time for celebrations.

"No, no, no!" Lindsey was panicking, devolving.

"So you do remember. Tell me, what did she do? What did a neuroscience student in Texas do to deserve a bullet to the head?"

"I want my lawyer!"

"Why?" Penelope pursed her lips, pretending to look confused. "You're already in for 10 murders. What could one -?"

"We're done."

That we are. Penelope smiled towards the two-way mirror as she disconnected the camera. 

Mission accomplished.