#their relationship is literally a romantic tradegy and I am here for it

[impsandstars]

So many thoughts after this episode.

Okay so we know Blitz’s side to this story in terms of his feelings for Stolas. We have heard him in Apology Tour not once but twice in a roundabout way tell Stolas about his understanding of their relationship. Not a confession of feelings but not him saying no either.

He tells Stolas it cannot be not because he doesn’t have feelings for him, not because of their class differences, and not because of Stolas himself.

It’s Blitz. Blitz is the problem. He’s damaged and cursed to ruin the people who try to be near him (family, friend or lover.) He doesn’t deserve happiness, he doesn’t deserve someone to have feelings for him. He is not worthy of being with someone like Stolas, someone powerful, kind, caring. Blitz is after all, at least by his thinking, the reason Stolas’s life is the way it is.

Then we get Ghostfuckers and for the first time, out loud, we get Blitz not once but TWICE talk about his feelings for Stolas. Wanting a relationship with him that now can’t be, and again when he confirms (for the most part) with Millie that Stolas really got to him because he means more than just a guy he fucks.

So once again we the audience are privy to Blitz’s feelings, getting confirmation from the man himself through his words instead of just his actions, that Stolas has meant something more to him that just a transaction.

The only problem is, that has been there since Full Moon, is that Stolas STILL doesn’t know any of this. He left their full moon encounter with the understanding that they were finished, that blitz never had feelings for him that he thinks lowly of him and has never wanted him. Blitz made fun of him for being gay by sending him memes, he told him point blank that relationships are boring and told him he wasn’t worthy of an apology. He broke his heart and hurt him. The reciprocation that Stolas had been hoping for, he now realizes, was never there. A relationship with blitz can never be.

Mastermind changed that.

Blitz already knows that Stolas has feelings for him but they were cemented and made real by his actions. Stolas was willing to take the blame for everything that had happened and was willing to walk to the chopping block for blitz’s sake. I mean if that doesn’t say I love you to the moon and back I don’t know what does.

And Stolas? He is finally, finally, able to see what Blitz has been showing us the audience all along. They sing together (which is also so perfect because we know Stolas has an easier time singing his feelings and to hear blitz do that too!!). They have a beautiful duet where Blitz says, out loud, how he doesn’t want to live without him by his side. HOW HE VIEWS STOLAS AS HIS HEART. I just. How beautiful for Stolas to finally get that confirmation that Blitz has feelings too, and yeah maybe it took a while and they had to literally be at death’s door, but they’re kinda dramatic like that.

Thank you for the person who pointed out the heart shaped pupils in Stolas’s eyes during this scene because I totally missed it on multiple watch throughs. Yes it can be read as Stolas looking one last time at the man he loves before being killed but I also think it was Stolas’s way of showing blitz that he has heard him. That this thing between them wasn’t over, that they could have had a chance to try again. And honestly? What a heart wrenchingly beautiful thing to know that your heart’s desire wanted you back before you walk to your death. That’s some dramatic romance right there.

Unfortunately, after the trial Stolas is not in the right headspace to adequately respond to this new and profound understanding of mutual affection and love, but that doesn’t stop blitz.

Blitz feels freed now to be able to be soft with Stolas, to care for him and be there for him during what’s going to be one of the hardest moments in his life. He openly smiles softly at him, holds his hands, bathes him, wraps him in a blanket. How lovely it is to see him be able to express outwardly what he has been grappling with for some time now.

One day Stolas will be in a better place and he can then reciprocate those soft feelings and oh boy is he going to absolutely shower Blitz in love and affection. I can’t wait.