#their name is ian. their voice is very feminine. i dont want to be like. rude or presumptuous.

[yeetbean]

real question how do i ask my coworker their pronouns without it being awful

[transbutts]

this sounds very mean and hurtful but i need to get it out, im terrified to transition, for tons of reasons obvs. but what scares me most is looking like a trans guy, the stereotypical, short/receding or thinning hair/high voice/acne/feminine faced man has never been attractive to me, and i don't want to be someone im not attracted to, i dont want to have to lower my standards to find myself attractive b/c im an okay looking girl i don't want to become an ugly little man, is this normal..

Hey there. So don’t worry this is completely normal and you’re not alone. And it doesn’t sound hurtful or mean you’re all good. This is a fear that many people have (myself included) before they start transitioning, and it’s totally valid. Transition is a big change and changes are scary. This is usually where a lot of that fear comes from. Something else to keep in mind is that everybody is different and everyone’s transition/journey is different. There is a stereotype of what trans men look like but many men do not fit that stereotype. People are different, trans men are people and are all going to look and act differently from one another. You aren’t going to become an ugly little man if you transition, trust me, but I understand where that fear comes from and that is a fear a lot of people have so don’t feel like you’re alone. BUT if you are looking for some reassurance there are a ton of trans men who don’t fit that stereotype in both everyday life, the media (television/film/music), and all across the Internet.Trans men in the public media: Chaz Bono, Elliot Fletcher, Buck Angel (NSFW), Tom Phelan, and Ian Harvie to name a few. All of these men are trans and look drastically different, from different heights, to body types, to hair, to face, to everything. Trans men online: Ty Turner, Miles McKenna, Alex Bertie, and Chase Ross are just some that come to mind and again all of these men look very different from one another.I feel where that stereotype comes from is when men are JUST starting their transition. I feel (from my experience of seeing trans men on their journey) after being on T for about year or so that stereotypical, feminine, high pitched, baby faced, scrawny man, goes away. This also most likely has to do with men feeling more comfortable and confident being themselves and not believing they need to fit in a “box” so to speak. Being afraid/worried is entirely normal, and you’re not being mean or hurtful by feeling this way. These feelings are valid and completely understandable. -BrettALSO (a little add on) you should check out the HBO documentary titled “The Trans List” it has a wide range of transgender individuals from all different walks of life.