#their genders were not strong enough to defeat our finalists here

[misosuper]

Rank your top five Tolkien characters that give off the best gender vibes. (Like how Bilbo’s gender is the feeling of sitting in a soft chair at the end of the day and spacing out for two hours staring at the wall)

I LOVE this ask let's goooooo. I have many Serious Thoughts about Tolkien and NONE of them are in this post, let's have some fun 👏🏻

5. Gollum

This guy's gender is Corrupted Tortured Little Freak and we all love him for it. This is a Gollum stan blog, he is truly gender

4. Treebeard

I just can never get over the fact that Teebeard is Tolkien's insert of Lewis. A wonderful author and theologian in his own right, but as a sentient and sapient tree hearder who accidentally adopts two hobbits the second he realizes they're not orcs? Who uses words like this, accordingg to Merry and Pippin:

"boom, boom, rumboom, boorar, boom boom, dahrar boom boom, dahrar boom"

Imagine taking your friend, who hates your creative work, and inserting them into your mythology as a fuckin boom boom barhooming tree. That's GENDER BABEYYYY

3. The Man in the Moon (from Roverandom):

The only reason this character isn't higher on the list is because I'm milking the fact that you said "Tolkien character" and not "TH/LotR/HoME character". Roverandom is a short children's story that is the DEFINITION of whimsy and shenanigans - it follows a lil pup named Rover on some truly out of this world adventures.

But the Man in the Moon. Man, what a gender. Imagine, if you will, a timeless glowing old man who lives on the moon with his flying moon-dogs and moon-spiders, lounging in a hammock woven for him by said spiders. Gender? I think so. And, he goes by Daddy-long-beard, for what it's worth.

2. Ülmo the Vala

He just wants to be alone at the bottom of the ocean and keep out of drama, and I can respect that.

1. Bilbo Baggins.

If you know me you won't be surprised by this answer, The Hobbit is my favorite book for a reason *cough look at my collection cough*

Bilbo Baggins wins gender, and I'm thrilled that he's the example you used in your ask. He's just so SASSY. He has the CHUTZPAH. He has TASTE and STANDARDS and LITTLE BITCH SYNDROME when those aren't met. Somehow perfectly pulls off being brave, competent, and pathetic simultaneously. King shit. Very gender.