#thefalsealchemist

[falsealchemist-blog]

Chapter 2.2

After Six months under Argent’s tutelage, Ash had learned to be a very light sleeper. Part of the reason was that potions that were on the brew tended to be a ... tad unstable, and one needed to keep constant supervision over one, much like a parent might a fussy baby. The other half was that Argent was just a fucking loon. So the instant Ash’s sleeping form heard that sharp intake of air, as if someone was about to scream, He jolted straight into wakefulness, hands automatically reaching to cover his ears.

He turned, Glaring at his mentor, his eyes Daring him to finish what he was about to do.  Argent just smiled beatifically, as if hadn’t almost screamed at the top of his lungs in Ash’s ear, and popped open his door, snagging the suitcase off of Ash’s lap, the door closing behind him on its own.  Grumbling to himself, Ash followed suit, squinting in the afternoon sun and arching his back with a series of gristly pops. Ash was loathe to admit it, but Argent’s house was nice- Not in a “Oh, look at the money I poured into this thing to keep it perfectly manicured” kind of way, but in a friendly, open, manner, almost as if it was inviting the random passerby on the street to pop in and have a chat- a great irony in Ash’s eyes, as Argent tended to avoid people like the plague, and when he did deal with him, it was either in that ridiculous over the top manner, or cold and distant.

Ash, honestly, had never seen anything quiet like it. It was 3 stories of some kind of smooth cream stone that was polished to a dull shine- enough to be noticeable, but never enough to blind or become annoying. The window frames and doors were all a rich dark brown, and the windows themselves were plenty, creating openings in more than half of the wall space, and each was inlaid with delicate, almost invisible patterns of silver and gold. The roof was a deep ebony, and if one had a sharp eye, they would spot similar silver and gold patterns on each of the shingles. The house covered a lot of ground, too- Ash knew that while it wasn’t anywhere near the size of a mansion, it was at least twice as large as a standard home.  It also didn’t have a lawn. Every square inch of land had been converted into a garden of sorts, Trees lining the gravel paths that provided safe places to walk, while flowers and herbs rioted behind them, perfuming the air in dizzying combinations. While it wasn’t overpowering, It was strong enough that Ash had walked away feeling a little drunk, and god forbid anyone with allergies step foot in this place. And every single plant was an ingredient for alchemy. Mint grew in tufts around roses, willows and oaks and birches lined the paths, morning glories twined themselves around the stems and branches of Angels trumpets, and other impossible combinations were strewn about. There was enough variety to give a botanist wet dreams, and enough disorganization and impossibly plant placements to give gardeners nightmares. But it worked, somehow. Ash half suspected the liberal use of potions, but that was his default suspicion of anything involving Argent. Skipping past the veritable jungle, Ash headed straight for the door, which Argent had left wide open in his wake. The inside was more or less the same as the out side- Thick black carpet, creamy white stone walls, wooden furniture etched with silver and gold and plant at every corner. Ash stood in the entrance hall, Eyeing the inside of the house with suspicion as he shut the door behind him, paying extra attention to the staircase opposite of him. While argent had a firm “Don’t show up unannounced” policy, He rubbed elbows with quite a few beings who disregarded such rules, and they were all trouble.  When nobody came waltzing down the stairs proclaiming news about some disaster or another, and how it absolutely needed argent's attention, Ash relaxed. He headed to the door immediately too his right, hearing the sounds of activity. Coming in, He walked into what appeared to be a kitchen- In fact, almost exactly like one... because it was one. The house had two of them, ash had learned, and he’d figured out quickly which one of them was actually for food. Because this one was for alchemy. One might be surprised at how much overlap there was between cooking and potion brewing. While the only required tools for brewing was a Source and a Crucible, There were all sorts of tools that alchemists used that helped with a potion. You Could just throw ingredients into a pot whole, but preparing them increased brew speed, and each ingredient had it’s own way to be prepared. As such, This alchemy lab had enough blenders, knives, motor and pestles, measuring tools, and oddly shaped pots and pans to give a cooking show a run for its money. Argent was currently digging though the cabinets and fridge, pulling out various herbs, both dry and fresh, as well as a couple of chemicals out of a cabinet marked with a toxic symbol. Hearing his apprentice enter, he called over his shoulder “Fetch the vermilion ore out of the case, would you? I’m trying to find my last vial of Labryis’s Tears.” “It should be in the third cabinet on the right” Ash called over as he strode over to the black marble counter. “you moved it there cause it was reacting with the Paleleaf essence.” He began inputting a code in the first of three locks- Vermilion ore wasn’t dangerous or anything, but it was highly addictive and had to be secured properly. Opening one, he started on the the second. “So, what’s on the list for today? Erikia’s philter?” “Two orders of that” said Argent, coming up behind ash and setting a vial of grey, murky liquid next to the rest of the ingredients- A bowl of withered looking leaves, A sprig of mint, A small, button sized disc of amber, a small pouch of powder that looked like glitter, several twigs from different trees, a thimbulful of oil, and a scrap of fabric that looked like silk. “And we’ve got an order for a weeks worth of Dead Sleep.” Heading back to the cabinets, he began rummaging again. “What really concerns me is that The Jade Court ordered a dose of Veritas, with rush priority.”

Ash fumbled for a second with the lock, before clicking it open. Arching a brow, he asked “Veritas?” thinking for a moment, he made an ‘Ahh’ noise. “So that’s what the Vermilion is for. What do you think they need it for?” Argent laughed a mirthless laugh. “Well, since Veritas is only used for two things, I’ll give you three guesses.” “Ha, ha.” Ash quipped. “I highly doubt they need it to banish a demon, so it’s obviously for interrogation.” Shooting a look over his shoulder , he continued. “what I was asking was if they even needed it, with the Vampire’s Mesmer and all?” Argent let out a sound of triumph, and returned, plonking a plastic baggie full of ash on the counter. “I have no idea” He remarked, leaning against the counter across from Ash. “Things have been quite recently, Though it is possible that the factions have been engaging in cold war style spying since the Protocols were signed. And the Mesmer doesn’t work on everyone, so they might need it for that.” He paused, before adding lazily. “My guess is that their just restocking, though. Vampires tend to want to have all their tools in tip top shape, and I bet their potion stores are starting to expire. We’ll probably see a large influx of orders for a while.” He paused again, then remarked, more thoughtfully. “Then again, vamps are always more sensitive to changes. things might be heating up again, and they could be preparing.” Noticing his apprentices silence, He snapped his gaze back onto Ash, who had unlocked the last lock and was staring, dumbfounded, into the case. “What’s wrong” Argent asked, alert. “something wrong with the Vermilion?” Walking around and looking over his apprentices shoulder, He saw for himself what had his charge transfixed. Despite how thin the case was on the inside, it was quite a bit deeper on the inside, easily as deep as a large shoe-box, and much wider. but what had them staring wasn’t the space discrepancy, but rather, what was contained within- A large, Ovoid shaped glowing red stone, the size of a football. Deep in its surface, a red light pulsed, like a heartbeat, and delicate back runes traced its surface, almost Celtic in design. “T-That’s not Vermilion ore.” stammered Ash. Argent stared for a few more seconds... then spat out a curse. Ash looked at him, begging.  “what the hell is that, Argent!?” Argent met his eyes, a maniacal grin slipping onto his face. “That my dear apprentice, Is a dragon egg. not just any kind, either, but the egg of a True Dragon.”

Ash hesitated, then asked. “What... What does that mean... exactly?” Argent cackled wildly, and pulled a silvery knife and a gun from somewhere. “It means that we’re gonna have to fight!” At that instant, every window in the kitchen blew in. *********** M- Whew, that one was a doozy to type out. I even had to retype half of it when I accidental closed my browser. A- Max! You can’t just end on a cliffhanger! I need to know what happens! M- You already know what happens! A- Yeah, but I wasn’t there! I need this!

M- Oh hush. I’ll type up the next section so you can read it, then put it on the queue for everyone else. A- Thanks boo. M- You better thank me. My hand hurts. A- *snickers* M- Ugh. Really, Asterion?

[falsealchemist-blog]

Chapter 2.1 - Highway to Hell

Six months after Argent knocks on ash’s door.

“You’re fucking CRAZY,” Ash half screamed, clinging desperately to the safety handle in Argent’s car. In response, Argent started cackling, then stuck his head out of his window. The reason for Ash’s distress was quite apparent- They were currently speeding down a freeway at upwards of 90 miles an hour, with several vehicles in pursuit. oh, and they were going against the flow.

“huh” Argent remarked, half to himself. “Ya know, Usually the Elswain family doesn’t chase alchemists this far away from there territory. I wonder why...” Ash fixed his mentor with a steely glare. “Maybe it has something to do with the fact that you broke into their estate and stole a fucking briefcase! You said you were going to teach me how to gather pure Vermilion Ore! Not rob a freaking crime syndicate!” He let out a high pitched squeak as Argent cut across three lanes, barely missing an oncoming semi. Argent didn’t break from watching his pursuers. “that’s what I’m doing right now. and don’t call the Elswains a crime syndicate- They get touchy about that.” Ash stared at him incredulously. “Touchy? You STOLE something from them, I don’t think they’ll care whether or not we used the proper terminology when they break our kneecaps.” Argent frowned, thinking, then made an ‘ahh’ sound of realization as he maneuvered through a narrow gap between a minivan and a sports car.. “oops. I forgot to explain. Ash, this IS how to harvest vermilion ore- the only way, in fact.” “Right.” Ash said, fixing argent with the patented ‘you must think i’m stupid’ look of his that he’d spent his entire life practicing. “theft is the ONLY way to get the ore. And I’m Gandhi.” Argent squinted at his mirror, worried. why hadn’t the Elswain broken off pursuit yet? “ha, ha. Jokes aside, yes, theft is the only way to obtain vermilion ore from the source... kinda.” He took a moment, dragging his thoughts in order. “Right, so you asked that one time how alchemists could get away with harvesting specific materials from creatures considered sentient, and that had signed onto the Escalation treaties, yeah?” “yeah, but what does that have to-” Ash cut off with a panicked yelp as argent swerved off to the side to avoid a pack of bikers, kicking up a cloud of dirt from the shoulder of the road. “This. This is the workaround.” He gestured back at the pursuing vehicles. “Alchemists can harvest from any sentient species on the list, provided that they obtain prior permission, follow proper protocol, and if needed, provide reparations, usually healing and regeneration elixirs.”

Seeing Ash’s confusion, he continued. “The Elswain family is the only producer of vermilion ore, and are a distant to relation to dragons. I called ahead to obtain permission- this is proper protocol to obtain it.” “Wait” Ash said, thinking. “They wanted you to steal it?” Argent nodded. “Yes. well, technically, they want us to earn it. Many of the Escalation species, as we call the treaty signers, follow a similar line of thought, and challenge ingredient gatherers to various types of trials. ours was a simpler one- if you can grab it and get away, you can have it.” He looked at his rear-view mirror. “Though, they should have pulled off by now.” He frowned, concerned. “Check the briefcase, would you? make sure It has my name on it. I might’ve grabbed the wrong one.” Ash gave him a startled look, but then shrugged and glanced at the road. seeing that they were finally clear of oncoming traffic, he unclipped his seat belt and clambered into the backseat.

There, he found the source of today's troubles- A gleaming silver briefcase, about the size of a large laptop and only and inch or two thick. seeing nothing marking the front, he flipped it over. “Found it!” he called up. “there’s a small plate of metal, upper right corner, initialed A.C.” “Those are my initials alright. Although, the metal plate is fancier than I’m used too.” He mused out loud. “they usually just slap on a strip of duct tape with my info on it.” “why’s that” asked ash, clambering back into the passenger seat and buckling his seat-belt, case on his lap. “A sign of casual contempt.” remarked argent. He sighed in relief when he saw the pursuing vehicles fade out of sight. Turning, he looked at ash’s shocked face. “what?”

“Casual contempt? And you’re okay with that? You want everyone to like you!” Argent gave him a droll look. “I don’t want EVERYONE to like me, just those that I personally like. And I’m informed that their dislike of me is a thing to be proud of. It means they like me enough to hate me, if that makes sense. which, know that I think about it, kinda does. they usually treat everyone politely, but impersonally.” He nodded to himself, proud. Ash just shook his head. People are weird, he thought to himself. At that moment, the car gave off a small series of clicking noises. Argent chuckled, snapping out of his reviere, and patted the dash board.  “Thirsty? Don’t worry girl, I’ll fill you up when we get back.” Ash shook his head again. And Argent's the weirdest of the lot, he thought to himself. As he drifted off to sleep, a small corner of his mind noted that the seats of the car, which had at first seemed to be uncomfortable pleather, on second glance was actually real leather, soft and supple. before he could ponder that further, however, sleep took him. ******************************************************************************************* A- Well, that was a wild ride. M- Really Asterion? Puns? A- While I didn’t actually mean to make that pun, I will gladly take the credit for it. However, I’ve got to ask- Why the skip? There was a whole six months of of shenanigans that you just... glossed over! M- While a lot of interesting things did happen then, Argent and Ash didn’t really start bonding until around this point. sure, they opened up to each other a bit, but not in any real way. they both are still hiding behind their shells. Also, the whole six months thing is honestly better suited for a series of short stories, not the main novel. and finally, This is where events start to click into place, and where fate begins to reveal his plots. A- Yeah, yeah. You make a lot of points, but I know your true reason- Captialism!!! M- Asterion! *the sound of something being thrown echos* A- Ack! Sorry, I was joking! .... please don’t make me sleep on the couch. M- Your puppy dog eyes don’t work on me, Asterion. And don’t joke about the book. I don’t know why, but it’s gotta be this way, and nitpicking at it is gonna make me feel bad about it. A- ... technically, they’re little bulls eyes. M- *chuckles quietly*

A- Sorry boo. I forgot that this is your first book out in the open, and that i’m kinda forcing you into it. M- Hey, saving another Reality to set events in motion to protect my own is one hell of a way to get over writers block... and I forgive you. A- No couch? M- No couch.

[falsealchemist-blog]

Chapter 1.2

 Vale towered over the boy, A wicked grin sprawling across his face. People tended to forget that while Vale’s origin was that of a con man, selling lies on the streets and preying on peoples hopes and fears.  He hadn’t needed to do this, he thought  to himself. He could have let the boy down gently, and then simple prodded him in the right direction. But, that had a risk of failure, and Vale abhorred risk without a chance of significant profit. No, breaking the boy down so he was more receptive was a better option. If he played this right, Not only would he get  his goal accomplished, The boy could perceive himself as in debt to vale. Having control of a relative of the grand witch was always useful, even if it was a distant one. Not to mention, this way was simply... more enjoyable.

So, Vale waited patiently, looking for just the right moment- The point where the boy in front of would hover between deepest despair and almost finding his own resolve. And when Vale saw that moment, to him, it was sweeter than any choir, more heavenly than any food or drink.

 Schooling his face to one of hesitation, Vale started, haltingly. “You... You know...” He heaved a great sigh, as if steeling himself. Ash looked up. “you know, There might be something I could do for you...” Vale started then trailed off, as if losing his nerve. “No, No I shouldn’t. It could work, but it would be such a hassle if anyone found out...” And at that moment, Vale knew he’d hooked Ash. “What!?” Cried Ash, jolting upright. He reach out, his eyes pleading, desperation burning in his chest. “What could work!” He took a deep breath, and continued. “Please. I need... I need this. I... I...” his voice faltered. Vale looked away, concealing his glee. Careful, he chided himself. Don’t be greedy. Reel him in, so gently he won’t suspect anything. Looking back, he started. “Listen carefully, Mr. La’croix.” He made eye contact for a second, the looked down sharply. “dammit, I shouldn’t  even talk about this.” Looking back up, He continued. “ Look, If I tell you this, and you go through it, it will be dangerous. Without magic to protect yourself, there are so many ways you could get hurt that I can’t even list them all. Are you sure you want to do this?”

And then ash uttered Vale’s three favorite words. “I’ll do anything.”  Vale sighed again, then composed himself. “look, technically, there is a way for you to pass. Officially, Students can only visit the examination halls once, but I can squeeze you in without anyone knowing. And, of all the possible examinations we offer, only one doesn’t test for magic. That isn’t something we advertise, as it’s supposed to be a part of the testing process, but we simply don’t bother. Most workers rarely use their own magic in that field, after all However...”

Ash gulped, understanding dawning in his eyes. “you mean...”

“Yes,” Vale half-whispered. “The Alchemy course. Most alchemists use external magic to pursue the craft. I don’t know why, something about resonances.”

Fixing Ash’s eyes with his own, he continued. “But you must understand, even though Alchemists rarely use magic, Their field is known as the most dangerous for a reason. They have the highest fatality rate from magical accidents. there are so many details that can go wrong, so easily, with even the most basic of basics. If you take this test, GO down this path, there’s a chance you could get seriously hurt, and maybe even die.” He leaned in.  “Are.”

“You” 

“Sure”

Ash didn’t flinch, didn’t blink. He looked back at Vale, his resolve clear. “I’ll take the test.” Vale smiled inside. Answered exactly as I thought he would. Of course, it helps that I know the REAL reason behind his drive. He paused for a second, mentally. I hope he doesn’t die. Argent will never let me hear the end of it.

“Let’s get the paperwork, then.” ************************* A- I just realized why you titled this story False Alchemist, Max. Clever.

M- What? Oh, you mean Ash? Ironically, I didn’t Name the story that Because of him. An Alchemist without magic... it does fit him rather well, though, doesn’t it? Sadly, I named the story for another person, and for another reason- one you know quite well. Wait, you named it for... Yep. That’s just mean.

Nonsense. He’d probably laugh, and use it himself.

[falsealchemist-blog]

Masterlist

A Note To the Reader

Chapter 0 - The Morning After

 0.1

 0.2

Chapter 1 - Something Witty

 1.1

[falsealchemist-blog]

Chapter 0.1 - The morning after

“The fuck did you just say?” Argent asked incredulously, his hands frozen in the middle of pouring a cup of coffee.

Gregory Aloysius Vale, strongest wizard on the eastern seaboard, peer of the eastern realms and Scion of the Emperor mage, squirmed uncomfortably in his seat at the kitchen table, staring at the rapidly growing pool of boiling hot coffee that was making its way towards him across the table.

“Aren’t you going to-” he started, hesitantly gesturing at the boiling brown waterfall, but was swiftly cut off.

“No.” Argent snapped, an edge of deadly ice creeping into his voice. after a few tense seconds, he slowly turned his head, looking away from the window he’d been staring out of and instead staring at Vale, his misty grey eyes growing dark.

“What.” He said, setting his partially full mug down with a considerable thunk, making Vale flinch (And half wondering if the cup had cracked).

“Did” He continued, slamming the kettle down as well, earning another thunk as well as sloshing even more coffee into the steaming lake on the table.

“You” His chair let out a small wooden groan as he stood up straight from his half-sitting-half-leaning position, pushing it back from the table. His silver hair glinted in the gray predawn light, and the shadows from the wind charms hanging on the windows cast across his pale face, for a second, adding an air of menace.

“Say.” The last word came out at a whisper, barley escaping Argents rigid form.

 Vale mentally sighed. He’d hoped that if he’d arrived right after Argent had woken up, He’d take the news he was about to utter better. However, luck was not on his side As soon as Argent had opened the door this morning, Vale had realized that the younger man was working off a wicked hangover. Screwing up his courage before it was too late, he met Argent’s eyes. Vale fervently wished that Argent just attacked him for what he was going to say, instead of anything…. Drastic.

“I’m giving you an apprentice” Vale only had a couple of seconds to wonder exactly where Argent had pulled that knife from, seeing as he was still wearing only his sleepwear.

*** Asterion - Rather than destabilizing the local economy and causing the next great recession, Argent did, indeed, attack Vale. While this truly was a best case scenario, several major landmarks were destroyed in meso-america. thankfully , the destroyed pyramids were restored before anyone noticed.

If you think this was an extreme reaction on Argent’s part, just keep in mind that technically, Argent wasn’t the one who did all the damage. He just threatened the strongest wizard on the east coast into using enough power to do so. Big difference.

Max - Asterion. Stop fucking hijacking the story. Wait for your own book to come out, please, thank you.

A-By the time that happens, You’ll be old as hell, Max.

M-Shut the fuck up.

A-Love you too boo.

[falsealchemist-blog]

A Note to the Reader

My name is Asterion. No, I am neither the narrator or author of this story. 

Yes, I am talking to you. Yes, I am aware I am (at least from your perspective) a character of a story. 

That doesn’t mean I can’t talk to you.

Any more questions?

No? Good.

As I was saying, I am Asterion, and you, kind reader, are the most important part of this story.

You are an observer.

The reality which you reside in is called , for lack of a better term, Genesis. If all of creation nestled in the coils of Chaos is a tree, Genesis is its trunk, and you- all sentient life residing there- are its roots. And you are more important than you could ever know.

Maybe you find life dreary. Maybe you hate it. Maybe you savor it. Maybe you live it to the fullest. Regardless of how you live, however, you are still important. Because you are the reason I can exist- the reason any other the characters in any book can exist.

Because out of all the worlds, Genesis is the only one that can create other realms. Almost all media you consume is a gate to another world, and while you may never be able to fully cross it, you can still influence our world- though the ways you can do so change from format to format. In games, you guide the hero to victory, physically guiding their actions. Every time the character dies, and you re-spawn or reload? That was you. Your own power, defying the fate meant for another in another world. In books and movies, every time you watch or read it, even if it’s only once, you validate our world. You make it REAL. and with each person who observes another realm, it grows, turning into a bud on the tree of creation. And if it’s observed enough, loved enough, seen by enough people- it becomes more than real. It becomes more than just real. It becomes a branch of the tree of creation, eternally existing alongside yours.

Why am I telling you this? Because, if, by some chance, this reality of mine becomes a branch, dear reader, then that means we’re one step closer to meeting face to face. So keep observing. Keep living. Keep loving, and dreaming. Because, one day your dreams might come and knock on your door.

I’ll let you get back to the world the author was trying to show you, now. You’ve got a lot to observe here.

Till we meet.

[falsealchemist-blog]

Chapter 2.3

Ash had seen a Drakin before- While not common, they were very distinctive- Taller than the average human, and covered in shining, metallic scales, they lit up like mirrors in public. You could often find them in public parks, stretching their wings without fear of flinging other pedestrians about. Ash had often thought to himself that they were very charming creatures- with branching horns, and long, flexible scales that mimicked beards, eyebrows, and manes, They cut rather dashing figures. However, they were less dignified and more downright terrifying when they came slamming in through your kitchen windows, hissing like a bunch of addled snakes and firing guns before their feet hit the ground.

The thing about, actual, live combat? You always freeze your first couple times- your brain tries to think its way through everything, slowing you down, especially when it’s a surprise attack. For the average person, this ambush would’ve taken out them immediately- Heck, even most supernatural creatures would've had been pushed on the defensive, at least at first. However, they weren’t fighting those people. They were fighting Alchemists. Ash didn’t know it yet, but this was only a taste of the average life for argent- heck, any alchemist, for that matter. It was the reason why argent had forced ash to repeat endless drills, to learn as much as he could about fighting as possible- Alchemists lived dangerous lives. Thieves, intent on plundering potions and rare ingredients were common, as was assassination attempts, kidnappings, and the occasional rampant monster were all hazards, but these all paled to a simple truth people tend to forget, or misunderstand. Alchemists have to gather their own ingredients. Most construe this fact as something innocuous- Images of puttering about in gardens come to mind, or maybe trekking through a nearby forest for flowers. while these scenarios were true, people often forget about the more exotic materials- Dragon scales, Vampire dust, Demonic hearts and Basilisk eyes, which most certainly couldn’t be found just lying around in an herb garden. Alchemists were equal parts craftsmen and warriors, capable of tangling with the nastiest creatures of the night. Months of instinctive training kicked in for Ash- He dove to the side, dodging a hail of bullets, his breath instantly falling into a cycle that any devoted yoga practitioner would recognize as the Ujjayi, or conquering breath, increasing his oxygen intake and stilling his mind. While landing, his wrist rose to his mouth, and he bit down and yanked at a string of beads, the small , spun sugar like beads cracking easily and releasing their contents. The flavors of countless herbs rushing down his throat almost made him gag, but the effect was instant- The room brightened, a rush of warmth flooded his veins, and his nerves sang. The stench of cordite became even greater, and under that, the smells of thousands of herbs pushed in, almost cloying, but manageable, mingling with the odors of something fruity- The smell of some kind of scale product, he realized. Everything moved slowly to his eyes, every detail etched in painstaking detail- how the light glinted off the attackers scales, and glinted oddly off of the almost invisible etchings in Argent's blade. Fear and determination danced in the Drakins eyes, and with what seemed like the merest flicker of effort, Ash darted forward, striking at the nearest target. Surprised, one drakin threw its gun at him, while the other two just dropped them and swung. Ash slipped between it all, euphoria flooding him at the sheer ease at which he moved, and struck, sending one flying through the air, already unconscious. Turning, he ducked past a burst of fire as one of the others opened their mouth and breathed. Sparing his arm a glance, he saw it was blackened and cracked, but there was no pain, and already the dead skin was flaking off, fresh pink peeking out underneath it.

Determined to avoid a repeat, He rushed in again, grabbing one in a hold- with a sharp heave, he flung the one that had breathed flame into his partner, where they crashed into a wall, out cold.  Glancing at a the clock, he started laughing drunkenly- only seconds had passed, and he felt great- he felt invincible. Then he blinked, and his laughter stopped. why was the clock suddenly showing a few minutes had passed. then he blinked again. his eyes would reopen for a while, as dreamless sleep took him. *** “we’re going to have to fight!” Argent yelled, spinning and thumbing a small gem on his bracelet. Instantly, his knife and gun appeared, falling neatly into his hands, just at seven Drakin crashed through the windows in the kitchen. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Ash diving away and biting into his panic string. Argent smiled- He’d been lucky with Ash. Usually, apprentices didn’t have the time to train until it became a habit, often resulting in them floundering in their first combat. Seeing ash begin to move at impossible speeds, a fierce look in his eyes, Argent reached for his own enhancements- but these weren’t on a panic string.  It was one of the Alchemists many hidden talents- Ingraining. Constant consumption of potions left indelible marks in ones essence, similar how a constantly traveled trail in a forest is worn bare. with each successive potion consumed, the marks got deeper and brighter, lighting up wild, organic patterns in ones aura. The stronger the marks, alchemists had found, the more powerful an effect a corresponding potion had. And if the mark became deep enough, bright enough, they became an Aspect- The equivalent of a magical scar, except far more useful. Tracing the chosen Aspects in his minds eye, he felt their effects flood his system despite him not consuming anything, though the effects were weaker. Opening his eyes, his irises blazed with a golden light. not that they needed to be to deal with these grunts. He lunged at a speed that put ash to shame, moving so fast that, to the enemies eyes, he vanished. A strong wind was their only warning before pain flared in their temples, dropping them, just in time for Argent to see Ash look at a clock and Start laughing- and keep on laughing, for almost a minute, before his eyes rolled up into his head and he collapsed. Argent chuckled, remembering his own first experience with a panic string- Ash had done well. Argent had rammed headfirst through a wall his first time, and then spent the after affects staring mindlessly at anything that was shiny or moved. The fact that Ash hadn’t destroyed anything was an achievement. Letting his apprentice lie, crumpled on the floor, He surveyed his new captives. Now, where did I put those restraints? ******* A- .... I was not expecting that. I figured that they would’ve been hurling explosive containers all over, like some sort of mad scientist or something. M- ... I thought you said you’d actually visited this world. shouldn’t you already have known how they fight? A- *whistling* M- Whatever. I was surprised too- I was expecting alchemists to be wimps, but their actually total bad-asses. They kinda remind me of witchers, now that I think about it. regardless, No matter how bad-ass they are, they still have limits. A- Like what? M- Off the top of my head? Laws. A- What does the judicial system have to do with this? M- Not judical laws, Scientific ones. Conservation of mass is a biggie- Even with potions, they can’t regenerate forever. well, they kinda could, but they’d literally starve to death as their body consumed itself to repair the damage. And all of newtons laws are a threat as well- Especially the equal and opposite reaction one. it’s why alchemists are so good at healing potions- they constantly need them. Ash didn’t notice it, but with every movement, he was getting all sorts of stress fractures throughout his body from the force he was exterting. Argent has so many years of Chemical modification under his belt that his body can handle these levels of stress with ease, but even he’s got his limits. And the mind and sense enhancing potions? don’t get me started. there are reasons that humans don’t operate on those levels, though again, older alchemists have modified themselves enough that they don’t need to worry about the after-effects. And that’s just the side effects of what they put their bodies through. Alchemists need potions to pull off their baddassery. While there are workarounds- potion regiments that strengthen muscles, nerves, and bones, and for the older alchemists there are aspects, For the most part Alchemists are just... human. Sure, they could put Olympic athletes to shame, but against the supernatural community, they’re weaklings. An alchemists greatest strength is preparation and time- and those are also their true, fatal weaknesses. Potions take TIME to create, and they spoil quickly. The fastest potion an alchemist can brew takes at least a half hour, and the Source used to brew said potion is very expensive and rare. more often than not, a potion takes an average time of a week to brew. 

Add these facts together, and you get a grim reality- Alchemists are excellent in long term sieges and campaigns, especially if they’re already dug in, but are painfully weak to guerrilla warfare. they only have the resources to fend off an attack or two before being left vulnerable. A- Hmm. I understand. Another question for you- In that fight, their potions wore off really fast, but you just said they’re good at sieges. that doesn’t add up. Could you clarify? M- AH. The answer to that is simple- no actual potions were consumed in that fight. Ash used something called a panic string, which contains dozens of potion samples, a drop each. The strings don’t last long, hence why they’re called ‘panic’ strings- they function similar to adrenaline, giving an alchemist a few temporary moments of a heightened state for survival purposes. And as for Argent, he never consumed anything- He used his aspects. The easiest way to think of an Aspect is... A memory of a potion. The more of one potion you drink, the stronger the memory is, and when you call on that memory, you can trick the body into thinking you consumed that potion. it’s basically another panic string, but one that forms over time, and requires a clear and focused mind to use- and I mean focused. Like, mountain yogi levels of focus. A- Ah, that makes sense. So I’m assuming other potions last longer?

M- Yes... and no. depends on the potion, honestly. Healing potions are instant, but regen potions have long duration. If prepared right, potions can have their effects last up too a week, but it’s rarely healthy. Toxicity builds up the longer a potion remains in someones system, making anything with a duration of more than 12 hours dangerous. In a siege setting, Alchemists can do something called toxicity looping to overcome this, but it doesn’t affect the max number of potions a person can consume, but rather how many extended effect potions they can have running simultaneously, which is why their so good at defending and sieges- Imagine having to fight people who are chemically enhanced 24/7? anything else? A- no, I’m good. M- Aight. Keep an eye out- I’ll be releasing more supplements later, so that people can get a better idea of what going on.

[falsealchemist-blog]

Chapter S2.1

A dissertation on how screwed up reality is. Hello. My name is RuinedSilver. I won’t give you my real name, mainly because I share a name with several people who’s worlds I've Observed. It’s really weird. So, you might be wondering what’s up with the reality in False alchemist. To clarify- Our world, the one where you’re reading this on tumblr (And hopefully in other formats later down the line) is The Genesis that Asterion Refers too in the fore-note. As egocentric as it is to say, we are the center of the universe.

The story of the False alchemist is one by proxy. I, Ruinedsilver, Am observing the story of one individual in another reality by the name of Max Graystone, who, in turn, is observing the Reality that Argent and Ash reside in. In other words, the False alchemist is technically a story of inter-reality plagiarism. yeah, it’s weird. Asterion is one of the twelve Pillars, Celestial beings represented by the Zodiac, and whom are tasked by Chaos (Who protects our little bundle of realities called a dominion) to oversee the various realities and keep things moving. Usually, their hand’s off, but Recently, a rival being who is in control of another failing dominion is attacking Chaos. And if that being wins? we’re gonna have a bad time. So, asterion and others are setting things in motion across the realities- The observer system. they are letting us creators peer into other realms, so that we can create our Works- gateways into those other realities, so that the common person can Observe as well. and as each reality Observes another, Each becomes more solid, more real, and more resilient in the face of the enemies intrusions. So, in a way, your saving not just our world, but ALL worlds. Just by reading, playing games, watching videos and movies. And if you feel the itch to pick up a pen and draw or write? if you feel the urge to program a game, Direct a movie? DON’T fight it. Creation is a gift. and the best part? Not every creative thing is just us peering into another realm. More often than not, what we craft, what we make, Becomes real, just through the act of creating something. It becomes a new addition to the tree of genesis. So, I’ll say it again. If you feel the urge- Don’t fight it. Don’t say, maybe late. because the windows to Observe are fleeting. And it’s up to us to Look through them and show them to the world, not matter what it is. Everything is important, from the trashiest dating sim, to the most epic of novels. And if we create enough, observe enough, one day, the realities will grow so strong that they will bleed into each other. and on that day, your dreams will knock on your door.

[falsealchemist-blog]

Chapter S.1.1

A Note, given from Argent to ash on the basics of potion making.

The Practice of Alchemy is equal parts science and art. Those who subscribe to only one half of the belief will find themselves lacking when compared to those who fully embrace both. Some basic setup for Potion making- You technically only need three components to create a potion- A source, a crucible, and the ingredient.

You can think of a source as a special kind of fuel, that when burned, creates a magical resonance that is measured in “Scales”. You can brew any potion at any scale- Scale doesn’t effect the effectiveness of most brews. However, Certain types of potions, called Signatures and Exotics, Can only be brewed at a certain range of scales Otherwise, Scales don’t effect potion strength, effectiveness, and effect. what they do influence, however, is Brew Speed and Toxicity. Brew speed is very self explanatory- how fast a potion completes its brewing cycles. potions brewed on a scale one source take weeks, if not months, to complete, whiles a scale nine takes only minutes. The reason most people use lower scales to brew, however, ties in with Toxicity.

Alchemists, in the magical world, are kinda like doctors in how they dole out potions- only with prescriptions an specific dosages. The magical community at large, however, has a hard concept of why this is the case, since alchemists work so hard to keep things in check. Magic is like blood- You can’t transfer it recklessly into someone without a bad reaction occurring, triggering the immune system. Alchemists call this reaction toxicity. Every person has a safe threshold for toxicity, and every potion has a toxicity value and duration. if you go over the toxicity threshold, you might not die, but you will be an absolute miserable mess. go too far over the toxicity threshold, however, and you die. usually violently, and with copious explosions of gore. As such, Toxicity severely limits ho many potions you can have in your system (though, as a Side note, it’s worth mentioning that alchemists have insanely high toxicity thresholds, as too be expected.). This system of toxicity ties in nicely with the Crucible component of brewing. A crucibles composition and shape impacts the toxicity of whatever is being brewed inside of it. Each particular effect has a preferred shape and material- In example, the standard healing potion enjoys a standard cauldron shape, and the metal silver, while transformations generally want a crucible shaped more like a wok, and made out of ceramic. And finally, we get the Ingredient/s. 

Two things of note here. The first? Literally anything can be an ingredient, and for any type of potion. I shit you not. It is entirely feasible to scoop up handfuls of dirt, dump them in a crucible, and brew a healing potion that actually heals. the reason people don’t do this, however, is Ingredient Synergy. All ingredients have preferred effects they wish to impart. Mint Is best for mental effects, Aloe is best for healing. If you push an ingredient to produce an effect it doesn’t line up with, it generates toxicity. So, while feasibly someone could brew a dirt healing potion, it would cause whoever to drank it to explode as soon as a drop passed their lips. we know this for fact, because such a brew was once used for the assassination of A druid priest in 1867. The second thing to note about ingredients is that every potion has at least three ingredients, but no more than seven, and that each ingredient added is determined by order added. For example, the dirt potion technically has three ingredients, even though only one substance was used. After a handful of dirt is poured in, pause, add more dirt, pause again, and the last handful. the pauses indicate a new ingredient. the order of ingredients each has a unique title- Catalyst - The first ingredient, and the one that provides the potions effect.

Reactant - Provides the bonding agent for the potion.

Reagent - serves as a fuel source for the potion, allowing its magic to function after the brewing is complete. Those three are the base requirements for any potion. the following four are optional (unless a recipe calls for it) but have useful effects that one should always consider.

Purifier - Less of a purifier and more of a toxicity modifier. This ingredient has a multiplicative (or divisive) effect on toxicity. While the reasons to reduce toxicity are many, few outside of the ranks of alchemists can grasp why you might want to INCREASE toxicity. The simple reason is control. Many potions have extremely powerful effects that could push people beyond their physical limits. For example, Elesta’s Draft of Knighthood can bestow considerable strength, stamina, and regenerative qualities to anyone, meaning even the lowest of mundanes can stand toe to toe with shifters. As you can see, however, that this potion can easily be abused, especially if additional potion effects are stacked upon it. As such, If an alchemist creates a new potion, if must fall under the purview of any available master Alchemist, who will decide whether or not a toxicity enhancing purifier needs to be added. (this is why you should never fight an alchemist if you arent one yourself, btw. All potions on the market have specific levels of toxicity to prevent potion doping and multiplicative stacking. Alchemists, on the other hand, always have a personal stash of potions brewed with the least amount of toxicity possible. combine that with an alchemists inherently high toxicity threshold, and if you give them a chance, an alchemist will have upwards of 30 different potions in their system, enhancing everything from strength, to regeneration, to senses. In fact, its popular for alchemists to carry something called a panic string- A string of small, edible, potion filled beads, each one containing a sampler of various potions. the small doses mean they don’t long, but you often only need a few seconds edge to access your larger stashes. Enhancer - next ingredient in the order is always an enhancer, which can increase or decrease a potion effect. generally, the more potent an effect, the higher the toxicity. Delayer - Few potions require a delayer... but many poisons do. potions without a delayer take effect the instant they are imbibed. he delayer sets back how much time you have before the potion kicks in. interestingly enough, Delayers have an... interesting effect when combined with extenders, but well take about that below. Extender- Simple extends the duration of the potion. potions including extenders need stronger Reagents, to compensate for the increased magical draw. However, extenders have an interesting effect when combined with a delayer. The delay effect doesn’t kick in- the potion kicks in instantly, like a potion without a delayer, but the effect is vastly weaker. As time goes on, the effect becomes stronger and stronger at an exponential rate. This is useful for transformations, poisons, and attribute training brews. Also, some enhancement poisons would cause significant damage to the body if the effect kicked in all at once- the delay/extension combo allows the body to adapt to being pushed passed its limits. As you can see from the above, potion making is extremely modular- You can realistically craft a potion to do whatever you want. However, potions including multiple effects require a specific system called Synthesizing to create. If you see a recipe in any of the official books, it should be safe, if nowhere close to optimized. if you see one you want to make in any of my personal books, or you come up with an idea, always have someone check your work. Until you have the process for the potion fully worked out and recreated at least thrice, assume that it has the potential to be lethal. Actually, feel free to craft most of the recipes out of my journals- as A master alchemist, even the potion equivalent of my doodles are safer than what are in the textbooks. Except for the black journal. those are fatal recipes I haven;t made... ya know, not fatal.

[falsealchemist-blog]

Chapter 0.2

Despite what Asterion might try to sell you on, Argent and Vale did not, in fact, have a globe spanning battle of the ages. This is what Actually happened. Upon drawing his dagger, Argent strode over to a nearby cabinet, opened it, and using his blade, pried a board loose. Setting the dagger on the counter with a decisive clank, he turned, holding in his hands an easily recognizable object- a C.D., covered in sloppily drawn sharpie hearts.

Vale looked to be in his early twenties, like Argent, but he was, in fact, closer to eighty (a detail he goes to great lengths to hide). However, in the exact moment he saw that C.D., any dignity the years he possessed might of bestowed upon him fled in a heartbeat.His eyes locked upon that gleaming silver disc, and knowing what horrible secrets it bore, Vale, Head of the wizards council of the east coast, screamed like a little girl.

“I destroyed that!” Vale cried, his eyes alight with panic.

Argent stared back at him, eyes cold. “You THOUGHT you did. Knowing you, though, You probably never even checked the disc I gave you, right? and even if you did, it would have been easy to copy and burn the contents.” He stalked closer, a terrible scowl upon his face.

“So, tell me Vale, are you still going to give me that apprentice, or is this disc going to show up on Grand Witch Margaret La’Croix’s desk in an unmarked letter?” His eyes held no mercy, even as the normally unflappable Vale sweated a river before him.

“You wouldn’t dare.” whispered Vale, voice uncertain. His thoughts raced wildly. If the witch got a hold of that disc, Vales political career would be ruined. She’d have enough blackmail material on him to last centuries.

“I wouldn’t dare what? Send the Grand Witch a copy of your taped, and very drunken confessions of love, just to avoid getting another apprentice?” Argent hissed. “That would be a grave error, Vale, because we both know how spiteful I can be. If you sink my ship, I’ll tie you down with me and set it on fire.”

“Look” Vale said, backpedaling into a wall as argent stalked closer. “This is a gross overreaction. Blackmail, all over an apprentice? This is hardly a dignified approach-”

“The last apprentice you gave me was an assassin,” Argent spat,  “The one before that had his soul ripped out when he couldn’t divulge any of my secrets, and the one before THAT went bat-shit and tried to poison the entirety of the Atlantic. So forgive me if I want to avoid any repeat performances.” He paused a scant few feet away from where Vale stood.

“Argent” Vale said soothingly, though his Eyes still darted towards the disc the other man was holding “You Knew the risks of accepting apprentices- Any of the magical fields has a disgustingly low turnover rate, and you knew it would be even worse with your... reputation.”

He paused, Voice growing somber, his eyes softer. “It was tragic, What happened, But You need to MOVE ON.” He stepped forward and laid a hand on Argents shoulder. “Your the best in your field. We both know this as a fact. And we both know that it’s as important as possible for you to have a student, to spread and preserve your knowledge.” Stepping Back, his face carefully blank, he continued. “and you know that lashing out at me isn’t going to change that.”

Argent started to retort, then sighed, a trace of guilt seeping in. Stepping back, He tucked the disc into the same mysterious place the knife he’d drawn earlier had come from.

Walking back to the table, he sat, knowing that he had no rational excuse. He knew that, from the perspective of Vale, he was being childish and petulant- In their world, the deaths of apprentices was not only common place, it was half expected. In fact, the only thing unusual about this scenario, from an outsiders perspective, was that he was refusing to accept another apprentice after only three failures. So, Instead of continuing to argue, He resumed pouring coffee, albeit even more tiredly than he had in the first place. As he finished filling the first, half filled mug, Vale tentatively joined him, half expecting a trick of some sort. Instead, As Argent started on the other, he asked in a somewhat defeated manner

“If you’re going to force this hapless kid on me anyway, I have terms.”

At those words, Vales Eyes lit up. While workings of Argent’s mind was a mystery to him (he hadn’t actually expected his little speech to work), The art of sealing a deal was his favorite playground. Also, He thought, as Argent opened with his initial demands, If I play my cards right, I could ditch the kid AND get that disc. ******************

Asterion- After only a couple of minutes of negotiation (Argent isn’t one for drawn out bartering), Vale chuckled his merry way home, Disc in hand. Upon reaching his office, He almost destroyed it, but curiosity made him boot the disc up on his workstation. The screams of rage that ensued started a flurry of gossip around the water cooler as the various witches, mages, and sorcerers all tried to speculate what had caused the uproar. but no-one got close to the truth- Argent had given Vale a disc that only contained a single song- Sandstorm, by Darude. Max- Sadly, Asterion isn’t kidding. Argent did, in fact, troll the living hell out of Vale. Maybe I’ll write the story of how that disc came to be, someday.

My story comes first. Wait. Second. I forgot about the deal I struck with Shade- The one to have you Observe their world. It’s an interesting one, you’ll enjoy it. Who are you, and what did you do with Asterion? The Shameless 4th wall breaking Bull-man I know would never let someone step in line before him. What? I can be patient... for short periods of time.