#thedegenerateducky

[ficsforeren-tags]

Additional Tags:

@sadtrains @somethingstranges-blog @katykat71114 @ashleighclark98 @doveblackboat

@reddidh @thedegenerateducky @loveeren @erenswife5 @rosietoesy

@xamex9 @wycliffx @calidarr9 @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @juicybuns

@silenthearts @sushiimara @yagamiryuk01 @iman-ismaillee @80s-outsiders

@itsantisocialratworld @piecksarmrest @saoirse-grace @lesfiori @nananira

Our Little Secret - Chapter 6 (End)

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Eren Jaeger X Female Reader

Genre: College AU, Spider-Man/Spider-Girl AU, Fluff, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Eventual Smut

Series Summary: Eren Jaeger, a 21-year-old virgin college student who loves his camera a little bit too much, has a crush on you. Every night, he switches on his camera and talks about you but he never could find the courage to speak to you in real life. Strangely enough, he finds it easy for him to befriend Spider-Girl, the crime fighting vigilante, not knowing that you both share the same identity.

Chapter Summary: Eren still can't believe that he just went on a date with the most popular girl in school and kissed the hottest superheroine in town all in one night. He tells himself that he has to make a decision—to choose between you and Spider-Girl, not knowing that you two are the same person. Well, maybe it's time for you to reveal your little secret.

Content Warnings: swearing, mentions of characters going through depression, traumatic past events, a little bit of smut near the end (not too explicit)

Word Count: 16k

Poster art by the most talented @rainbuniart on Twitter

Armin Arlert loves Eren Jaeger. He does. He really does, like in a platonic-but-can-also-be-qualified-as-super-gay-way-sometimes. 

He adores him. Might even name his fictional son after him in the future, who knows? He thinks Eren is the best friend he could ever ask for. Armin wouldn’t put his life on the line to save him, true, (‘cause as much as he loves the guy, that bitch can die on his own since it will probably be because of his damn fault anyway), but he would definitely sacrifice his most precious body pillow if Eren’s life depends on it and that’s saying something. Actually, hold up. Let’s not make any hasty decisions here. It’s a special, limited edition dakimakura with his fictional wife printed on it while wearing a slutty maid outfit. He ain’t gonna throw those glorious 2D titties just for Eren’s lousy ass.

Though his actions may speak otherwise, Armin does care about him. More than he has ever cared about anyone else, really. Even on those days back in high school when he was a bit… bicurious, Armin had imagined himself—more than once (or ten)—being with Eren and how hot it would be if he had Eren all tied up on his bed with his body shrouded by wet tentacles that were stimulating each of his sensitive spots. He knew it was weird to imagine his best friend begging him with tears in his eyes, saying lewd things like “Please, Master Arlert, please give me your thick, hard cock and fill me up with your seeds. I want you to breed me like a fucking whore,�� but Armin was an eighteen-year-old virgin with a raging sexual desire, okay? Can you really blame him? (yes, please blame him, he's insane).

It didn’t help that Eren looked so pretty with his hair down either, especially when he was sitting half-naked on Armin’s bedroom floor during those hot summer days with a popsicle stuck inside his mouth, making questionable groaning and sucking noises as he jammed his thumbs against his X-Box controller. It also didn’t help that Armin had watched too much hentai in his spare time but at least, he was proud of it. Eren watched tentacles porn too—and enjoyed it—but he would always pretend he didn’t and say that he preferred lesbian porn just so he could “fit in” and “be normal” or whatever. Fucking coward.

We’re getting sidetracked but the point is, Armin loves Eren to the moon and back, but sometimes, sometimes, he just wants to break all 206 bones in his body, squeeze him into a pulp and flush him down the toilet. And by sometimes, he means now.

“Armin!” He can hear the sounds of small rocks hitting his window, followed by Eren’s husky voice calling his name in a mix between a shout and a whisper. “Armin! Dude, wake up!”

Armin only has one eye opened, glowering at the digital clock on his desk that shows it’s two in the fucking morning. His parents might be heavy sleepers—the government has to drop a nuclear bomb for them to wake up—but Armin needs complete silence to be able to wane into his dreamland (which would be the only place for him to be embraced by his fox-eared waifu). He tries to ignore the asshole standing outside his window, but that so-called green-eyed butthole is as stubborn as he is relentless. 

Gathering a handful of pebbles, Eren throws them one by one, continuously hissing Armin’s name like a demonic cat. With each stone hitting his window, Armin transforms even further into a seething monster. By the sixteenth pebble Eren throws, the blonde-haired boy pushes himself off the bed, grabs the baseball bat he hides inside his closet—which he bought not for sport, but for this very reason—and stomps his way to the front door.

“Armin!” Eren rejoices when he sees his best friend walking past his lawn, moving toward him. “Oh, thank God, you’re awake! I need to talk to you—WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING TO DO WITH THAT BAT?!”

“I’M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU, JAEGER!”

It’s always like this with them—Eren annoying the shit out of him and Armin trying to kill him two or three times in a row—but it would all end well, not with laughter, but with a massive bump on Eren’s head that may or may not be big enough to trigger permanent brain damage. But then again, Eren is already an idiot. He’s probably maxed out at this point. 

“One of these days, Arlert,” Eren groans in pain, rubbing the back of his skull as he wills his tears to stop brimming in his eyes. “I’m gonna file a restraining order on you.”

“That’s my line, you nincompoop.”

“I don’t know what nincompoop means but that doesn't sound pretty.”

The two boys sit on the little stairs that lead to Armin’s porch (five feet apart ‘cause they’re not gay). Armin still has his baseball bat between his legs, his golden hair all tousled from his one-hour sleep. Eren, who’s usually attentive to another person’s well-being, is too excited to pay attention to the bags forming under his eyes. Playfully bumping his shoulder against Armin’s, he asks him, “Dude, guess who just had his first kiss tonight?”

“Why do we strive for perfection if it is not attainable?” Armin says, dramatically sighing into the night. “What is the meaning of a good life? Is there a meaning in life itself? Are we human or are we dancers?”

Eren, now confused, has his smile wavering. “The hell are you talking about?”

“Oh, I thought we were just throwing out random questions.”

“That last one wasn’t even a question. That was `Are We Human’ by The Killers.”

“Yes and they were asking us whether we are human or dancers when they should have been asking: why can’t we be both?”

“It’s me,” Eren replies flatly. “I just had my first kiss.”

“Oh, wow, congratulations. I did not see that coming at all.” There’s no mirth or enthusiasm on Armin's face. He's just clapping his hands as he keeps his voice monotone. “Your lips aren’t a virgin anymore. Make sure they don’t turn into a whore.”

Eren, well-accustomed to his sarcasm, remains unfazed, continuously acting like the love-struck puppy that he is. “Aren’t you gonna ask me how it felt like?” He wiggles his eyebrows, showcasing a cheeky grin. “I’ll give you a clue. The word starts with an A and ends with a G.”

“Anal Rimming?”

Eren sends him a flat stare. “It’s amazing.”

“Sure, if you say so. I mean, I’ve never done anal or rimming before so I wouldn’t know, but hey, if it’s amazing then good for you, buddy.”

“I meant the kiss, Armin!”

This attitude Armin is throwing at him is his way of saying dude, I love you but I’m so fucking pissed at you right now, and Eren understands how much he’s being selfish for taking Armin’s precious sleeping time. He knows and he apologizes for it. But if he doesn’t tell Armin about the kiss—about how he’s both overjoyed and conflicted by it—he’s sure as hell he’s going to lose his mind. 

Armin, despite how snarky he is, can only exhale exaggeratedly in defeat once Eren puts his best-kicked puppy look on display. “Fine, you twat. Spill.”

And with his permission, Eren’s words come rushing in like a bullet train. “Dude, it was insane.” Whenever he thinks about the kiss, the first thing Eren feels is joy. The kind of joy that is so fierce, it leaves him burned and paralyzed by it. “I’ve been imagining what my first kiss was gonna be like since forever but even the sweetest dream wouldn’t be able to compare to how amazing it was.”

Armin can see it—that glow on his face. It’s the first time he’s ever witnessed his best friend being this happy. It's disgusting. “You sound like that sappy Aerosmith song.”

“And to think that I was having my first kiss upside down!”

“Wait, what?” Armin finally shows a reaction, his eyebrows adjoined in the middle. “Upside-down?”

“Yeah, she was hanging upside down.”

“Hanging? How—why—” You know that Jackie Chan meme? The one with him looking all confused? Yeah, that’s Armin right now. “Where were you? In her room?”

“Umm… no. We were outside.”

“In public?”

“Yeah, but no one was around. Oh wait, there were like three guys around us but they were unconscious.”

The more he explains, the more perplexed Armin becomes. “Why were they—no, who were they?”

“Just some dudes wanting to steal my camera.” Eren turns sheepish, his index finger scratching his cheek at the memory of you fighting so gracefully under the rain, almost like dancing. The words he says don’t match his expression at all. “They had, like, a knife against my throat. It was really scary.”

“Oh yeah, I can tell, ‘cause you’re blushing so hard right now.” At this rate, being sarcastic is the only way for Armin to keep himself sane.

Eren, to Armin’s horror, giggles. “I remember the way she came by. It was so dramatic. She beat their asses to save my life like bam, kapoww, kapoww!”

Almost getting hit by Eren’s lame attempt at re-enacting your punches, Armin cringed, “Please stop.” 

“We kinda flirted a little bit after that and I just, you know…” Eren has really turned into a thirteen-year-old girl at this point. “I kissed her. She was hanging upside down. There was rain pouring above our heads and we were, like, smiling into the kiss. It was so romantic.”

Fuck Jackie Chan. That meme needs to be reinvented using Armin’s face now. He’s more confused than any Chinese man could ever be. “Hold up, you fucker.” He pushes his eyeglasses up his nose, a pair of sapphire eyes scrutinizing Eren's face as if he could find the answer if he looks hard enough. “How and why was she hanging upside down?”

“Well, she was about to swing away when I stopped her and so she was hanging onto her web and—”

“Her web?” This dude makes absolutely no fucking sense! Armin is now picturing you (not Spider-Girl. You.) in your preppy girl outfit hanging upside down on a tree like a fucking monkey, exchanging tongues and saliva with an actual monkey who was twice your size. The result? Absolutely ludicrous. “Dude, what kind of kinky shit are you guys into?!”

And it’s only then that Eren remembers something. “Oh, no, you’re getting the wrong idea. I wasn’t talking about her. I kissed a different girl.”

“You kissed a diff—” Armin stops himself before he explodes. Taking a deep breath, exhaling with his eyes closed, he mutters under his voice, “Lord, give me strength.” When he blinks open his eyes again, Armin seems much calmer, although his grip around his baseball bat is tightening twice as hard. His fingers are just itching to smack the shit out of his best friend. Again.

Eren, scared for his life, has both hands in the air. “Calm down, Min.”

“I’m calm, I’m calm.” But he takes another deep breath just in case. Armin smiles—that kind of deadly smile that doesn’t reach his eyes—when he asks, “Let’s start from the beginning. You went on a date with Miss Popular.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“But you didn’t kiss her and instead you kissed someone else.”

Now that Armin phrases it like that, that feeling of remorse that Eren felt an hour ago comes back rushing in. Eren still loathes himself for kissing another girl right after his date with you ended but the thing is, it felt right. It felt like it was something he had been wishing to happen for years. He had spent all this time imagining what it would be like to share a chaste kiss under the rain with you—the college version of you. But when the moment was there, he couldn’t do it. It didn’t feel right. He felt guilt at that time, knowing that Spider-Girl kept showing up in his head when he was supposed to be thinking about you. But he didn't feel any of that when he shared those kisses with that alter ego of yours. He just felt joy. It felt amazing. It felt right. 

But with Armin confronting him about it, he returns to the dilemma he was drowning himself in a few hours ago. The time when he realized that he was in love with Spider-Girl instead of you.

“Yeah,” Eren admits in shame, casting his gaze downward. “I kissed someone else.”

Armin fixes his glasses again, just so he’d have something to do instead of looking flabbergasted at the revelation. “And who did you kiss?”

“Umm… Spider-Girl.”

Armin looks at him and Eren looks back. Three seconds pass by in silence and then—

“AW!” Eren shouts in reflex, not caring if it’s two-thirty in the morning, right after Armin smacked him with the end of his baseball bat. “Dude, stop doing that! It hurts!”

“You’re fucking with me,” Armin says, hitting him repetitively on his side. “You’re absolutely fucking with me right now. Can’t believe I woke up to listen to you spouting bullshit!”

“I’m not bullshitting you!” Eren winces, trying to dodge his next attack.

“You’re saying you kissed one of the town's hottest superheroines? The same girl who took down the Lizard—no, the same girl who looks smoking hot in that white spandex—you kissed that girl?”

“Yes! Fuck—Stop hitting me!” Eren, at some point, manages to snatch away the bat from Armin’s grip. His body feels sore all over, even more than when he fought those men in the alley. “Yes, Armin, I kissed her.”

“Yeah,” Armin snorts. “And I just had some raunchy sex in the barn with Green Goblin. Expect his babies to pop out of my ass in nine months.”

The brunette rolls his eyes. “Look, Spider-Girl and I have been friends for weeks now. Here.” Eren retrieves his phone from his pocket, going through his gallery before he shows the selfie he took with you in your costume on the night you shared stories on the rooftop of St. Mark’s theater. You were both so close to each other, shoulders nearly squeezed together as you tried to fit your faces inside the frame. Eren had the biggest, gleeful grin, his skin seemingly tanner than usual next to your white mask and hoodie. Armin examines the picture with suspicious eyes, his gaze shifting back and forth from his friend’s face to his phone. 

“Hmm, very convincing,” Armin comments. “Not sure where you found the skill to photoshop this shit so fast when it took you a week to choose a fucking filter for your Twitter PFP but okay. Assume that I believe you—I don’t,” he emphasizes. “But for the sake of our conversation, let’s just assume I do."

"Fine." 

"So you kissed her.”

“Yeah.”

“Upside down in the rain?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“And how was it?”

“It was…” Eren’s cheeks sizzle at the memory. “They were… soft. Her lips, I mean. They were so soft and they tasted… sweet.”

Armin’s expression turns from suspicious to I’m-tired-of-your-shit-Jaeger in 0.2 seconds. “I was thinking more like it was bad because I’m sure she had rain clogging up her nose, ‘cause that would’ve sounded more realistic, but sure, let’s be corny.”

“Wait,” Eren blanches. “Do you think she was uncomfortable?” It’s stupid that he only realizes this now, but then again, what else is new?

“Yeah, well,” Armin shrugs. “Hanging upside down certainly didn’t seem like it was the best position to make out in, 'cause you have blood rushing to your head and all. And since it was raining, she definitely had water getting up her nose.”

“Oh my God,” Eren utters in horror, his hands going to his head. “Why didn’t I think about that?”

“Probably cause you were too busy sticking your tongue down her throat.”

Eren has no consistency in managing his emotions because at one point he was panicking, and now, he’s back to giggling like a schoolgirl. “Yeah, we used tongue a few times. It was so exciting.”

“Give me back my bat. I’m gonna kill myself with it.”

But jokes aside, the question remains. How could Eren, who has zero games in dating as far as Armin knows, kiss another girl—and not just another girl, Spider-Girl—right after he went on a date with one of his campus’ most popular girls? Even the sentence sounds bizarre and he hasn’t spoken them out loud. Most importantly, though, why? Why did Eren do it? “I thought you were in love with her,” Armin says. “Miss Popular, I mean. You spent the entire summer jerking off to that one picture of her wearing that short skirt and now you’re saying you like some other girl whose face you don’t even know?”

“Did you have to phrase it like that?” Eren mumbles in shame though he can’t deny the fact that he did spend—well, not the entire summer, the entire two weeks, probably—masturbating to the thoughts of you. It wasn’t the proudest moment in his life, but in his defense, that skirt you wore looked super cute on you. “I know, I fucked up,” he sighs, rubbing a hand over his face. “I’m the worst.”

“How did this even happen?”

Eren tells him everything, and the more details he reveals, the harder he drowns in his guilt. He feels like he just betrayed and disrespected you—both you and Spider-Girl and it hurts him terribly because he still can’t decide between the two of you. He’s so conflicted he feels like he’s about to vomit his insides. 

“It’s so weird, you know?” Eren says. “At the end of the date, I was sure she wanted me to kiss her. I mean, like, the moment was there. We both felt it, and I wanted to do it but I… I kept thinking about Spider-Girl and it just felt… wrong. I didn’t want our first kiss to go that way—me kissing a girl while thinking about another girl. It wouldn’t be fair to her.”

“Should’ve just kissed her, in my opinion,” Armin counters. “If you had done it, it would’ve been easier for you to make sure of your feelings now.”

 “But that would’ve made me the biggest asshole in the world.”

“You are the biggest asshole in the world. But yeah, probably. Did it feel right when you kissed Spider-Girl?”

Though the remorse on Eren’s face still stands vividly, some of it morphs into delight at the memory. “Yes, it was,” he admits. “It felt like… something I should’ve done weeks ago, you know? Like, why didn’t I realize sooner that I’m in love with her kind of feeling. And I keep thinking about everything—about my feelings toward Spider-Girl and my feelings toward her and it’s stressing me out. Do you think a man can be in love with two girls at the same time?”

“You’re talking to a guy who has, like, seven different waifus. Of course, you can,” Armin snorts. “The problem is, unlike my wives who don’t know I exist, you have to choose. Unless you want to continue being a gigantic fucking asshole for the rest of your life, you need to decide who you want to be with.”

“I know...” Eren starts chewing on the inside of his cheek. It feels like he has a storm raging inside him. “I think I’m in love with Spider-Girl because I feel like… I know her better. I mean, I’ve been spending more time with her, so she feels more like a person to me. More… You know, real.”

Armin nods. “But when you went on a date with Miss Popular, did you enjoy it?”

“I did.” His answer is immediate. “More than I expected I would. She was so nice and funny and she… She gave me a scarf ‘cause she thought I was cold. She was so caring. She was great.”

“What if her personality is just as attractive as Spider-Girl’s then?” Armin provides a new perspective—a genuinely good one, which is rare considering how big of a pervert he is. “I feel like you just need some time to get to know her better.”

“Yeah, but how can I do that if I keep thinking about Spider-Girl? What if every time I see her, all I do is compare her traits to hers? It’s not fair.”

“Okay, let me ask you this,” Armin sighs loudly into the air. “Can you really see yourself dating a superhero? You don’t even know her real identity or what she looks like. What if she’s ugly?”

“I don’t care how she looks.” Determination stands thick in Eren’s voice. “It’s her—” He clears his throat, his face turning scarlet. “I-it’s her heart that I love.”

“Oh my God, I’m gonna throw up on you.” 

“I mean like her mannerisms!” Eren hastily adds when Armin threatens to jam a finger inside his own mouth. “Her attitudes, the way she talks, the way she thinks, and the stuff we talk about—that’s what I care about the most. She’s my best friend.”

“Excuse me?” Armin repeats, offended, picking up his weapon.

“A-after you, of course.”

“That’s right, bitch.” He drops his baseball bat back to the ground. “Okay, fine, you don’t care if she’s ugly. Not my problem. But does she like you?”

“I think so? I mean, she kept asking me to kiss her again. You don’t do something like that with someone you don’t like, right?”

“Yeah, well, strangers fuck at nightclubs all the time. I won’t think too much over a kiss.”

The pretty shade of red that paints Eren’s face turns pale by the second. “You don’t think she likes me?”

“I do, but is it enough for her to want to date you?” Armin lands a hand on the other man’s shoulder, giving him his best sympathetic look. “I wouldn’t be so sure, man. Look, I’m not trying to sound like a douchebag for crushing your R-rated dream so early like this but you’re my friend and you need a reality check so here it goes. She’s a superhero. Okay? She’s busy. She doesn’t have time to play tonsil hockey with nerds like us. Plus, if she cares about you then maybe she won’t date you ‘cause you’ve seen what happened to Mary Jane, right? That chick got taken hostage at least once a week these days, ’cause of what?”

“Umm… Cause she’s dating Peter Parker?”

“That’s absolutely right, you nincompoop.”

“Like I said, I don’t know what nincompoop means.”

“At this point, MJ doesn’t even scream anymore when she has a gun pointed at her head. She’s just like—” Armin pretends he has his smartphone between his hands, his thumbs moving to type something. He keeps his face blank and his voice monotone, talking in an exaggerated New York accent. “‘Oh no, please, don’t hurt me, I’m scareeeed. Hashtag SpideyDrama, hashtag Spidey-MJLoveStory. Take a cute selfie with my kidnapper—” He pretends to take a picture, puckering his lips while forming a peace sign with his two fingers. “—aaaand post.’”

Under different circumstances, Eren would have laughed. Armin’s impression of her was spot on. “Yeah, but that’s because everyone knows that Peter is Spider-Man. No one knows who Spider-Girl is.”

“Yes, but if you keep making out with her in public, they’ll know about you, and then what? You want to start doing your own TikTok trend? Hashtag PrayforErenJaegerTheNewDamselinDistress?” Eren parts his lips to answer but he’s stopped by two hands squeezing him by the shoulders. “Look. Just give Miss Popular another try, okay? It’s easier to be with her than being with Miss Vigilante, I promise you. Plus, Spider-Girl knows how you feel about her, right? Don’t you think it would make you sound like a player if you talked like a lovesick fool about another girl, but then you confessed to her three days later?”

Again, it’s absolutely ridiculous that Eren just realized this now. “You’re right,” he utters in horror. “Holy shit, you’re right.”

“Of course, I am.” Armin scoffs, tossing back his imaginary long hair over his shoulder. “Forget about Spider-Girl for now. Give it a week or two to sort out your feelings. Or focus on something else, like jerk off to your favorite tentacle porn or something. If you still feel like you can’t move on from her then, we’ll go to Plan B.”

“W-what is that?”

Armin retrieves his bat. “Me, beating the shit out of you until you suffer from a massive concussion and forget about this whole thing.”

“Yeah, why don’t we just stick to Plan A for now, thanks. But no tentacle porn.”

"Pfft, whatever, your loss."

***

You have never—never—felt like you were floating in the clouds after sharing a kiss with a boy, and yet there you are, climbing through your window with the biggest dopey smile on your face. You take off your mask, throwing yourself on your bed with the longest, most blissful, content sigh you’ve ever heaved in your life. 

You have two fingers tracing over the seam of your lips, your skin somehow still tingles whenever the memory of that kiss resurfaces. The sweet, pleasant taste of his mouth still lingers near. The soft texture of his lips is the best thing you’ve ever felt against your own. 

“Eren…” His name drifts past your lips and you find yourself giggling, turning over to your stomach before you let out a high-pitched scream against your pillow. It felt like a first love’s kiss and perhaps it was since he is your first love, isn’t he? You haven’t been able to stop thinking about him. Every cell in your body seems to scream I love him, I love him, I love him every time his smile appears behind your closed lids. It feels like you’re thirteen again, just a lovesick girl whose fingers are itching to pour every emotion you felt into your journal. 

Dear diary, I’m in love. 

You didn’t think your first kiss with him would be like that, but it was ten times better. No, a million times better, even if you did have rain clogging up your nose at some point. Eren was so… passionate, you think to yourself as you feel your stomach flipping at the memory of his lips melding against yours. You may be a virgin, but unlike him, you have experienced many first kisses before and none of them was this memorable. None of them managed to awaken the butterflies in your stomach as his kisses did. And none of those boys tasted as good as he was.

“I am down so bad,” you sigh as you hug your pillow close to your chest, a dreamy smile sketched upon your lips. I can’t wait for tomorrow to come. I want to see him. I want to be with him again.

With that thought in mind, you begin to create your diabolical plan to reveal your true identity to him. As cute as he was looking all conflicted from falling in love with both you and Spider-Girl, you decide not to torture him even longer. It’s unbelievable, the amount of elation you felt the moment you realized that he’s fallen for Spider-Girl. It’s clear proof that he wasn’t just attracted to your looks, but your personality too. It puts you at ease, knowing that he keeps catching feelings no matter what persona you’re putting in front of him. He fell for you when you were just an innocent little girl who couldn’t do anything but fangirl over Wonder Woman all day. He fell for you when he saw you stepping onto the podium to accept your science medal, blinding everyone with your perfect smile. And he fell for Spider-Girl, your alter ego that embodied your true personality.

I wonder how you would react when you find out that I’m all those three?

“Maybe I should step up my game,” you mumble to yourself. “Maybe I should be a little…”

The corners of your mouth curve up. Your smirk is just straight-up evil at this point. Hell, even Norman Osborn didn’t look this wicked when he turned into Green Goblin. 

“Aggressive.”

***

When Eren told his brother, Zeke Jaeger, that he wanted to borrow his motorcycle to pick up a girl this morning, his brother was on the floor. Literally on the floor. 

Zeke was skeptical at first, snorting loudly as he muttered, “Pfft. As if you could get a girl to notice you. Bet my ass you’re just being delusional.” But then Eren, heaving the biggest sigh, raised his phone in the air, flashed his wallpaper—that one picture you took on your date with you smiling as you kissed his cheek—on his brother’s face and Zeke collapsed to his knees.

“Oh my God.” Zeke landed both palms on the parquet, eyes shaking in horror. “Oh my fucking God.”

Eren, who was accustomed to his brother’s dramatic antics, simply shrugged when his aunt Dina looked at them funny. “He’s having a moment,” he explained and Dina just returned to her cooking, not wanting to deal with any of that. 

It usually took Zeke a while to get back on his feet—literally—when he was having an episode like that. Eren simply waited with his back leaning against the wall, checking his watch with boredom written in his eyes. “Try and make it quick. I got a date.”

“I can’t believe you found yourself a girl before me,” Zeke sobbed. “I thought it was Armin dressing up as a girl again—"

“We’re over that phase now.”

“—but no, she’s actually a cute fucking chick. Probably has massive badonkers too.”

“Please don’t say that.” Great, now I can’t stop thinking about it too, Eren adds inwardly, face flushed. What if she… does have massive badonkers—I mean, tits—I mean, breasts. He shakes his head. Eren, you idiot. Who cares if she has huge boobs or not. Flat, or huge, those are still great tits—no, stop thinking about her tits!

“Fuck, what if it’s true?” Zeke looked up to his brother from below, like a tortured servant to his sadistic master. “What if she’s packing some dobonhonkeros? Like, massive dohoonkabhankoloos, ya know what I mean? Big old tonhongerekoogers—”

“Language, Zeke,” Dina chimes in from the kitchen. “I don’t understand what you’re saying but I know they’re filthy words so stop it.” 

Eren, in the meantime, is conflicted between not thinking about your breasts or smacking the shit out of his brother. “You’re being disrespectful, stop it.”

“GOD, I WANT A GIRLFRIEND—”

“JUST GIVE ME THE GODDAMN KEYS!”

Zeke, almost with tears painting his eyes, handed them over to him. “Once you’re finished with it, do me a favor and just run me over. I don’t have the dignity to keep on living anymore.”

“Will do,” Eren said—promised—as he threw a black leather jacket on top of his white shirt. “I’ll be back in two hours,” he informed his aunt. “We’re just gonna study in my room after that.”

“Studying each other’s bodies?” Zeke uttered with jealousy coating his tongue. “Gross.”

“Statistics, actually.” Eren planted a small peck on Dina's cheek. “See you, Aunt Dina.”

“Bye, love,” Dina chuckled, seemingly proud that her nephew—one that she regarded as her own child, unlike the other one—was old enough to bring a pretty girl home with him. “Make sure to bring her something. Us girls love gifts.”

“Okay.”

“And buy some condoms on your way home.”

Eren nearly tripped over his feet. “I-it’s not like that!”

Zeke was lying flat on the floor at this point, like a stabbed victim on a crime scene, only in his case, the knife was invisible and he was bleeding tears from his eyes. “When can I get myself some bonkhonagahoogs…”

“Please kick him out before I get home,” Eren said.

“Trust me, darling,” Dina sighed. “I've been trying to do that since day one.”

“Guys, I’m literally right here.”

“Shut up, Zeke.”

***

Eren is just as jittery as he was during his first date with you, only this time, it’s ten times worse as he keeps thinking about Spider-Girl no matter how much he tries not to. The guilt he felt over the kiss sticks permanently in his mind, and it feels like he just committed adultery with a church elder or something when he isn’t even in a relationship with you—any version of you. But even so, he tries to stick close to his plan. He has promised to spend some time studying for finals with you, and he intends to give his full attention to you and no one else. Since he’d brought you a bouquet yesterday, he decided to buy you homemade chocolate truffles from this cute candy store downtown, one that Dina claimed to be the best one in the world. 

He arrives two hours early at your ballet studio, feeling so nervous to see you again that he feels like the whole world is spinning too fast before him. He’s waiting outside in the parking lot, leaning against Zeke’s all-black Royal Enfield Classic 350 with his phone in one hand and his head on the clouds.

What am I going to say to her? Can I even act normally around her? What if she—

“Eren.”

“Fuck!” The boy jumps on his feet, almost losing his grip on his phone from how startled he is. He spins his head around to the side, spotting you standing close with your gym bag slinging on one shoulder. His shock-filled eyes quickly traverse down your body, taking in the sight of you dressed casually in your fitted black tank top and white track jacket. “W-why are you not wearing your tutus?”

Out of all the things he could’ve said, of course, that’s the first thing that comes out of his mouth. “Because I’m still outside and my practice isn’t going to start for another ten minutes?” You reply with a hint of teasing in your voice. “You look handsome today, by the way. I always think you look hotter wearing a leather jacket instead of a hoodie. Not that I don’t like it, though. Hoodies make you look cute.”

This is an ambush, Eren thinks. You, casually throwing your compliment at him as if it’s nothing, feel like a fucking ambush to him. “I—Umm—You look—You look cute too.”

“Thank you,” you titter. “I can’t believe you arrived here before me.”

“Oh... Y-yeah.” It suddenly feels like it’s twenty degrees hotter for him. “I guess I was a little early.”

“As always,” you toss him a smile—the one that has the perfect amount of beauty and shyness that makes his heart swell in his chest. “You’re not planning to wait out here for two hours, are you?” When Eren has no answer to give, you chuckle. “Gosh, you are too cute. Come here.”

“Huh?” 

“You can wait inside.” It’s so natural the way you tangle your hand around his even when you can feel your own heart palpitating. “It’s warmer there.”

Eren, with his cheeks turning scarlet, follows after you. “Is—is it really okay?”

“Well, no. Usually, we don’t allow strangers to watch our rehearsals.”

“Then, why—”

“Relax, Ren.” You hurl a wink at him. “Petra—my instructor—is a close friend of my mother. I’ll just tell her you’re my boyfriend and she’ll make an exception for me.”

Three things left him dumbfounded. The first one is clearly the fact that you just called him your boyfriend. Second, it’s that naughty, naughty wink you threw at him, one that matches your cute little devilish grin. But none of those were as surprising as the way you called him with that nickname. 

Ren.

You’ve never called him that before, have you? But Spider-Girl called him Ren all the time, which is why to his ears, it sounds so familiar. The way you said it. The way your voice sounded when you did. Even if his mind tries to deny it, his heart still pounds. It feels so strange for this to just be a coincidence but you don’t give him a chance to think about it long.

“I’m gonna go change into my tutus, okay?” You tease him once you enter the studio, chuckling at your own words. “You can sit at the back. Try not to stare at the other girls as you wait.”

He knows he’s dumb but today he just feels ten times dumber and it shows. “W-why not?”

“Well, obviously, because you’re pretending to be my boyfriend today.” You reach out a hand to fix the collar of his jacket, watching him flinch at the way your fingers brush against his collarbone. “And also…” You look up at him, turning your voice into a breathy whisper as you feign a pout. “I don’t like seeing you look at other girls. I want you to look at me.” You take a hold of his key-shaped pendant, twisting your fingers around his necklace. “Only me.”

Fuck, fuck, fuck. If there was steam coming out of his ears, Eren wouldn’t be surprised. He does feel like his face is about to explode. “I-I’ve only been looking at you.”

“You sure?” Your tongue peeks out to wet your lower lip and Eren swallows at the sight. “You seemed so… distracted last night. You weren't thinking about some other girl, were you?”

He’s staring at your lips. He’s definitely staring at your lips. Oh my God, her lips. “I—I didn't—I wasn’t—” He’s panicking. He’s already having a hard time trying to stay alive from your attack. You really didn’t need to bring back Spider-Girl into his head, but you did and that’s why you fit more as a supervillain instead of a hero.

Eren can practically taste the minty scent of your breath from how close you are when you grin at him. “I’m kidding,” you giggle, patting his cheek and giving him back his space. “You look like you’re about to pass out. You okay over there, big boy?”

“Yeah…” Just feeling like I’m having a cardiac arrest but I’m fine. “Good luck with your dancing—your practice. Break an arm.”

God, he’s an idiot, I love him. Refraining yourself from laughing, you stand on your toes and grant him a soft kiss on his cheek. “It’s break a leg, dummy,” you whisper in his ear, your smirk brushing against his earlobe. His face is practically in flames when you turn on your heels, tossing him one last smile before you disappear inside the changing room. 

The rehearsal starts on time and there you are, walking back into the studio dressed in pink seamed ballet tights, a black halter-neck leotard, and a pair of beige pointe shoes. Your outfit, the way the fabric hugs your body tightly, leaves no room for his imagination to wander. It’s so unfair that you look both adorable and effortlessly sexy at the same time. Eren doesn’t know whether he wants to say, “You’re so cute, I want to squeeze your cheeks!” or “You’re so hot, I wanna clap those cheeks.” He wants to do both, honestly, but he’ll need to rephrase that last line if he wants to be, ehem, respectful.

He can see your back muscles contracting as you perform, your skin glistening under the light, coated by a thin layer of sweat that somehow only makes you look more erotic. He hates the way his mind thinks, so he tries to focus on your movements instead. Every posture you strike is as graceful as it is beautiful and Eren has to remind himself to blink before his eyes fall out of his sockets from staring too long.

You try to concentrate as much as you can on the instructions Petra gives you but every time you see your reflection in the mirror, you also notice the way his eyes are entranced with every gesture you make. He’s staring at you like you’re the only girl in the room—the only girl in the world, even. As much as it pleases you to be the center of his attention, it’s also harder for you to focus on your steps. You just can’t wait for your practice to end.

Eren is so captivated by everything you do, and if he had brought his camera with him, he would’ve taken every bit of your expression. He wishes he could record everything. The way your body moves… Even the slightest lift of your finger is fascinating to him. At this moment, all thoughts about Spider-Girl vanish away from his mind. It feels like he’s falling for you all over again, his heart throbbing like on that day when he saw you on campus for the first time. You’re so pretty. So, so pretty that you leave him breathless.

“Hey,” you greet him again once your rehearsal has ended. “Sorry you had to wait long.” You’re dabbing a towel against the side of your face, gathering your belongings in your arms as the other students are making their way to the changing room without you. “I’m all sweaty so I’m just gonna go take a shower real quick. Is that okay?”

Eren can see a bead of sweat running down the side of your face, disappearing right between your cleavage. It’s the most pornographic thing he’s ever seen and this comes from the man who spent the whole summer watching questionable porn clips with Armin. It also doesn’t help that Zeke’s face keeps appearing in his mind, whispering to him, “Bro, look at those badonkers,” and no, Eren doesn’t want to look at your badonk—breasts. It’s very inappropriate, and you deserve to be respected. 

Fucking monke. Eren is going to run him over for real after this.

“Eren? You okay there?”

He coughs once, trying to focus on your face instead of your, in Zeke’s words, dohoonkabhankoloos. “Yes, I—uhh… I’ll just go wait outside, okay?”

“Okay.”

You’re not sure what you’re expecting but when Eren walks away without saying anything about your performance, you feel a sliver of disappointment growing inside you. Keeping your thoughts to yourself, you tighten your grip around your bag and pivot on your heels.

“Oh, I forgot to tell you,” Eren says, stopping you in your tracks. You turn around, facing him with a questioning brow. The boy smiles at you, doing it so beautifully, so delicately, so lovingly that you feel like you can fight the whole world just to protect that smile. “You look so beautiful when you dance,” he says, his eyes gleaming in the adoration he holds for you. “So graceful, you’re like, uhh… Like an angel.”

It’s corny. It’s corny and cliche, and embarrassing, and you love it. If anyone else had said it, it would’ve sounded like the cringiest pick-up line, but not him. Eren said it like a confession as if he truly felt that way and he had to tell you the truth no matter what. He doesn’t intend to sound corny, of course, but what can he do? You did look like an angel in his head. But now that he’s hearing the words out loud, he can’t help but feel mortified by them. “S-sorry,” he blushes. “I didn’t mean to sound so… lame.” 

“No, it’s fine.” You could feel a pleasant warmth pooling inside your stomach. “Thank you.” You smile back at him, a bit timidly but as beautiful as always. “Will you… come and watch my recital next time? It’s not until three months from now, but—”

“Of course!” His eyes light up in excitement, his voice loud enough to make three people turn their heads at the sound. “Of course, I would love to! Can I bring my camera with me?”

You almost laugh. He reminds you of that little Siberian husky he owns, the way she looked so excited as she ran down the street, chasing a hummingbird. “Yes. Yes, you can.”

***

There are a lot of things Eren is grateful for in his life. He’s thankful that he has his Aunt Dina taking care of him and his brother after his parents passed away. He’s thankful that he has Zeke, no matter how obnoxious he is, for always lending him his credit card whenever Eren is in desperate need of money (involuntarily, true, but let’s not get into details). He’s thankful that he has Armin in his life to knock some sense back into him, both literally and figuratively speaking. And of course, he’s thankful that he met you—every version of you, though he hasn't noticed yet. But today… Today he doesn’t direct his gratitude to his Lord. Today, he wants to thank whoever it was who decided that motorcycles should have these super cramped seats because holy shit, they’re doing God’s work.

“I’m sorry for holding onto you like this,” you say with your hands tangled around his waist, a little bit embarrassed with how close you are to him. The motorcycle itself is designed to be a two-seater, but apparently, comfort for the pillion has not been a priority—which is a good thing for Eren because you don’t have other options left but to have your front all squeezed against his spine to fit in.

“Umm…” Eren swallows and he swallows hard. You’re wearing his leather jacket above your clothes and yet he can still feel the way your breasts—oh my God, they’re so soft—are pressed against his back. Maintaining his eyes on the road, he tries to focus on his surroundings as best as he can. “I-it’s okay.”

“Are you sure you’re not cold? You can take back your jacket if you want. I can just use mine.”

“No, it’s fine. Yours is too thin.” He refrains himself from sniffling because damn it, it is cold. He should’ve thought of bringing a spare jacket for you, but no, of course, being the idiot that he was, he didn’t. “Don’t worry about it. My house isn’t far from here.”

“Okay.” Despite his reassurance, you still have your eyebrows knitted in concern as you can still feel him shivering from the cold. As a way to warm him up—which is only an excuse for you to touch him even more, and to continue with your diabolical plan—you embrace him from behind, tightening your arms around him just a little bit harder. 

Fuck, Eren thinks, face flushed. You’re plastered against him like a conjoined twin and he can feel your warmth seeping through his shirt. It’s a wonder that he’s still able to maintain his grip on his vehicle. “W-what are you doing?”

“Umm… Making you feel warm?” You reply sheepishly which drives him insane. You’re already so beautiful and sexy in his head, now you get to be so innocently adorable too?

Eren only responds with a little "Oh..." because that’s the only thing his pea-brain can manage to form with all this blood rushing to his head. God, you wish you could steal a glimpse of his face. What kind of expression does he have right now? He must look so cute.

He’s dying, that’s how he looks. Probably about to combust into flames too. Why are they so sooooft, Eren wants to whine, feeling your chest pushed up against his back even more. Is this the kind of sweet torture people talk about? The kind that makes you feel like you’re both in heaven and hell at the same time? It certainly feels like one. 

“Sorry, Ren…” Noticing the way his body is tensing, you loosen up your hold. “Am I making you feel uncomfortable?” 

“No!” Eren takes off his left hand from the steering wheel and snatches yours back before you can retrieve it. He keeps it in place, pressing your splayed fingers tight against his stomach until you can feel the shape of his abdomens underneath the thin layer of his white shirt.

“I’m not uncomfortable,” he says, his voice subdued by the wind. You fail to notice the way he stutters his words. “Hold on tight so you won’t fall."

When he’s only driving twenty miles per hour because of traffic ahead, even if you did fall, you would only get a scratch on your palm at most but neither of you cares. You both know it’s just an excuse anyway. "Okay."

"And also, uhh…” Eren is glad he has his helmet on to conceal his face. “It’s… warm. You, I mean. You're so warm.”

“I'm glad I am,” you giggle, winding your arm around him again, even going as far as resting your chin on his shoulder. Feeling a bit naughty, you lower your pitch, seduction ringing in his ears. “Kinda wish we were alone in your room right now,” you purr, your fingers hovering dangerously close above the hem of his jeans. “I know something else we can do to warm you up.”

That’s it. That’s the final string. Eren’s concentration breaks and he’s easily startled by the car driving past him on his right. Veering his vehicle immediately to the side, he nearly collides with the motorcycle on his left. 

“WATCH IT, JACKASS!”

“Sorry,” Eren mutters in chagrin, while you’re cackling like a witch behind him. From his bar-end mirror, you can see how he childishly pouts at your laughter. “Why are you laughing—that wasn’t funny!”

“It was a bit funny,” you sneer. “You panicked like a girl.”

“Well, you were saying some nasty things to me!”

“What nasty things?” 

“Y-you said you were going to do something else to warm me up.” 

“Yes, I was speaking about making some hot chocolate for you. What were you thinking about?”

He opens his mouth, closes it, and repeats these two actions three times more before he gives up and grouses, “Oh, shut up.” Eren spends the rest of his drive pretending to be upset about it, even when you can tell he’s having the hardest time masking his smile. He can’t do it for long since your giggle is infectious. 

“You seem happy,” he comments, mirroring the joy on your face. 

“That’s because I am,” you reply, snuggling close. “I feel like I’m the happiest when I’m with you.”

Oh, for fuck's sake. “Don’t make me crash our bike into another car, I swear to God—” 

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry!”

When the laughter has receded, Eren shares stories about Dina and Zeke, the two family members he loves dearly—well, he loves Dina, Zeke can go to hell (affectionately)—and how they are very excited to meet you today. But the second you arrive at his house, no one comes to answer the door.

“Weird,” Eren mutters as he walks past the entrance, dropping the keys on the counter. “I thought they’d be—” He stops short when he notices a piece of paper lying on the coffee table. With a frown, he picks it up and runs his eyes across Dina’s neat handwriting.

Zeke and I are going shopping to give you kids some time alone. We’ll eat outside too so we won’t be back until nine. Remember to use protection ;) - Love, Dina.

Eren, too busy trying to understand what the fuck is going on, doesn’t notice the way you’re standing on your toes, trying to steal a peek at the paper from behind his shoulder. Unlike him who needs a whole minute to process her words, it only takes two seconds for you to finish reading the whole thing. 

Eren shrieks at your presence, crumples the paper with both hands, tosses it inside the trash bin, and hopes the whole thing gets swallowed by hellfire. “You—You didn’t read that, did you?” It feels like he has his heart throbbing in his throat.

“Read what?” You play dumb, even tilting your head to the side for a cute, dramatic effect.

“Nothing,” he says, and when you arch your eyebrow at him, he spins you around, placing both hands on your shoulder as he guides you down the hallway. “Let’s just go to my room. Go, go, go, go, go.”

“Wait.” You stop him with one hand in the air, putting on your best solemn face. “Have you brought protection with you?”

“OH MY GOD, GO!”

***

Things aren’t going as smoothly as Eren had planned. Actually, nothing went as planned. For all he knew, all he had been doing was just turning red like a fucking tomato for the whole two hours he had spent with you, and you teasing the shit out of him. And it doesn’t seem like you’re going to stop anytime soon!

Is she planning to kill me? He sighs as he opens the door that leads to his bedroom, welcoming you in. She wasn’t like this yesterday. Now, don’t get him wrong. Eren loves how aggressive you’re being—he hasn’t unlocked his kink yet, but he’s secretly a sub who longs to be dominated by his women, both in bed and in real life—but with how smooth you’re going right now, constantly flirting with him as if it would kill you if you didn’t make him blush every ten minutes, this is getting so bad for his heart.

And it doesn’t help that he’s now alone with you in an empty house for the next—he takes a glimpse at his phone screen to check on the time—three hours and twelve minutes. His thoughts are going insane. From Dina’s message to the image of you in your skin-tight leotard, and of course, the way you embraced him on the ride home too. You’ve been giving him signs that you like him. You’re more honest and blatant compared to how you behaved during your date, and as much as he is certain that Spider-Girl is the woman he’s in love with, he can’t deny that he has feelings for you too. And the way you’re looking at him right now, sitting on the edge of his bed in your cute little red dress and your cute little matching headband with your smile never faltering away from your lips—everything about you right now is so… titillating.

“You’re such a dirty boy,” you smirk.

Eren nearly collapses. “W-what?” What the hell is happening? She can hear my thoughts now? WHAT IS GOING ON?! “What do you—I’m not—I don’t know what you’re saying.”

“I said you’re a dirty boy.” Your salacious smirk turns into a mischievous grin. “As in your room is a mess.”

“Oh!” He laughs once in relief, his hand coming up to wipe cold sweat off his forehead. “Oh, you were talking about my room, thank God.” Wait. He panics again, eyes moving back and forth from one corner to another, scanning his room. He’s sure that he’s cleaned up everything he could this morning, and by cleaning up, he means picking everything off the floor, jamming them inside his closet, and pretending that they don’t exist. Everything seems to be in order. There are no clutters on his computer desk. No laundry on the floor. Sure, the books on his shelf are in disarray, but at least they’re not too dusty. “It looks clean to me, though.”

“On the outside, sure,” you titter. “But your wardrobe looks like it’s seconds away from exploding. I don’t need to take a peek inside to know that you have dirty clothes and questionable things stored there.”

“I don’t have… q-questionable things,” Eren says very unconvincingly. Poor boy can’t lie to save his life. Unable to stand the way you narrow your eyes suspiciously at him, he sighs in defeat, “Well, it depends on how you define questionable.”

“Playboy magazines?”

“Nope.” Why should I buy one when I can just see naked girls for free on PornHub?

“Erotic novels?”

“No.” Ha ha, too bad. You were close, though, cause instead of erotic novels, I read—

“Erotic mangas, then?”

Fuck. “N-no,” he coughs out.

You wait for him, watching him with the nastiest grin you could muster until he gives up on his lies. “All right, all right, you got me,” Eren says, rolling his eyes. “I have some hentai mangas hidden in my closet. Happy now?”

“Immensely,” you chirp back and whatever it is you’re doing, it’s working well because Eren feels like he can breathe properly again. 

Now that the tension isn’t as suffocating, you both settle down on the carpeted floor, your backside leaning against the side rail of his bed. You have your textbook perched on your lap, a pen between your fingers as you teach him about univariate and bivariate transformations. Eren wears a pair of eyeglasses when he studies, and you hate whoever invented those black frames for making him look more attractive than he already is as if his little man-bun wasn’t strong enough to emphasize that. 

An hour passes by in a flash and Eren asks for a ten-minute break. You follow him to the kitchen, watching him make two cups of hot chocolate while casually throwing back some of your earlier teasings. It feels so domestic—the playful banter you throw, the way you share smiles and giggles while you both sit on the kitchen aisle with your legs dangling in the air. And while you secretly fantasize about spending every morning with him like this, Eren is constantly reminded of the time he spent with Spider-Girl.

Why does this feel so familiar? He ponders. Is your personality similar to hers? Is it the way you talk? Or is it because he unconsciously starts projecting Spider-Girl on you? Because he can’t stop thinking about her even when he’s trying his best to focus on you today? He grows restless at the thoughts. Because if that’s the case, then what’s the point of doing this? It’s clear that he’s still searching for Spider-Girl everywhere he goes. Even when he’s seeing you, he still thinks about her. He was sure he managed to forget about her earlier today, but the more he grows comfortable with you, and the more you show your true personality to him, the more he sees Spider-Girl in you.

When you return to his bedroom with him trailing after you, you notice a little box sliding out of his bag. Eren follows your gaze, mumbling, “Oh, shit, I forgot,” under his breath before he snatches it away. “I bought something for you earlier today,” he says, taking a seat on the edge of his bed with you settling down right next to him. “I wanted to give this to you back when we were at the studio but…” He smiles a little bit sheepishly as he hands it over to you. “I got, uhh… distracted.”

The way he said his words, it was clear that you were his distraction. “Thank you,” you reply, your fingers playing with the little red bow that ties the package together. “You’re always so thoughtful. I wanted to give you something too, actually, but I couldn’t get it done on time. It’s going to take a little while before I can finish it.”

“Oh?” His whole face brightens at once, seemingly giddy at the thought, as it would be the first time he’ll receive a handmade gift from the opposite sex. “You’re making something for me?”

“Yeah.”

“What is it?”

“It’s a surprise.” Your coquettish smile quickly becomes one of his favorite things in the world. “For now,” you land a hand on his shoulder, leaning up to brush your lips lightly against his cheek. The kiss is light and chaste, and yet, Eren turns rigid, his heartbeat roaring in his ears. You break away with a bashful smile painting your lips. “I hope that’s okay?”

“Umm…” He mumbles out, unfocused. “Yeah…”

The moment is there. The same atmosphere, the same tension that you felt when you were about to part ways at the end of your date has returned, ten times thicker than before. You maintain your gaze on his face, while Eren learns the texture of your lips with his eyes. They seem so soft, so inviting and he wants it. He wants to know how it would feel like to have your mouths pressed against one another but at the same time…

He’s conflicted again, you think to yourself, and if you’re not careful, your devilish smirk will rise to the surface again. It’s such a fun game watching him like this. You can almost literally see the way he’s battling against himself. On one side, he wants to kiss the bejeezus out of you, while on the other hand, he wants to push you away and say, “Girl, you’re making my jeans tighter than ever but this heart only belongs to one woman, and as long as you’re not dressed in white spandex, you’re not her.”

The evil that you are, you plan to make it even more interesting. “Kiss me.”

Somewhere at the back of his head, a nuclear bomb explodes, killing half of his brain cells at once. “W-what?” Eren croaks out, sounding like he hasn’t spoken in years. 

You lean closer, your breath fanning his lips. God, your perfume, the scent of your breath—you smell so fucking wonderful. Sliding a hand up his chest, fingers gliding smoothly against the fabric of his shirt, you whisper again, “I want you to kiss me, Ren.”

“I—mmph—” His eyes close in reflex the moment your lips touch his, his eyebrows sewn together in the middle. You frame his cheek, bringing him closer to you than ever. For a moment, he succumbs, his fingers fisting the sheets underneath him. You press your body against him, and he wonders if you can feel his heartbeat reverberating on your skin. He lets out this cute little whine when he feels you parting his lips with yours, but the second he feels the tip of your tongue touching his, his body flinches and Eren breaks away.

“S-sorry.” He stands up abruptly from the bed, one hand shooting up to cover the bottom half of his face. His blush creeps up from his neck to the tip of his ears. He seems breathless, panicking out of his mind.

Your lips are just itching to exhibit a wicked grin but you pretend to be confused. “Is there something wrong?”

“I—I can’t—” He’s looking anywhere but your face, jittery hands moving animatedly as he speaks. “You and me—we can’t—I can’t do this with you—Not right now—Not when I’m—I can’t, I’m sorry, I can’t.”

Poor Rennie looks like he’s having a heart attack. “You can’t?” You’ve never taken any acting classes before, but you’re sure as hell this performance you’re doing right now deserves an Oscar's Best Actress nomination. Guess binging Euphoria all weekend has some perks after all. “But…” You perceive him with glassy doe eyes. “I thought you liked me…”

“I did!” He shouts out the words like it physically pains him to say them out loud. He’s losing his mind and it’s hilarious. “I did…” Eren goes down to his knees before you, his hands reaching out to take yours before he settles them on your lap. They’re sweating, and so cold. “I really liked you but…”

You start to feel bad but the sadistic villain inside you wants to see more so you just fake a sob. “But now… You don’t like me anymore…”

“Oh, God.” You, brushing your nonexistent tears with your fingers right now, are his kryptonite. “Please don't cry. No—no, it’s not like that! I like you!” he shouts, his eyes shaking as he peers into yours. “Jesus, I think I even loved you at some point and maybe I still do, I don’t know—I don’t understand my feelings right now, I just—”

“It's okay,” you say, trying to calm him down. You're a bit worried now because if this guy ends up passing out, that’s going to be your fault. “It’s all right, Ren… I know what you’re saying…”

He pauses to take a deep breath. When he speaks again, he no longer sounds as squeaky as before. “Listen to me,” he squeezes your hand, and even if his fingers are still trembling, they’re doing their best to comfort you. “I really, really do like you. Honestly? I was so obsessed with you before. I stalked you like a pervert. I took pictures of you when you weren’t looking. I've had your photo as my wallpaper for God knows how long. My video journals—”

Are all about me, you echo the words in your head as he speaks the same thing. Oh my God, he’s freaking out so bad, he’s telling every bit of his secret now. So cute. 

“I did all those things because I liked you and you should hate me for it—”

“I’ll never hate you, Ren. I want to be with you.”

You’re killing him. You can tell you’re killing him inside. “And you don’t know how much those words mean to me but the truth is, I’m—” He hesitates, still contemplating whether he should say the words out loud. He doesn’t want to hurt your feelings, but if he continues doing this, letting his desire overtake him once again, he’s only going to hurt you even more. He needs to make a decision. “I’m in love with someone else.”

You fake a gasp, even going as far as covering your mouth with both hands. “Y-you are?”

“Yes…” He answers in dismay. “I know maybe I should give myself some time to figure this out but I don’t want to be selfish. I don’t want to make you wait for me. I don’t want to make you feel confused. And I know it would be easier to love you instead of her—I don’t even know how she feels about me but… I can’t. I can’t deny that I’m in love with her. And it’s not fair if I keep doing this with you when I keep thinking about someone else. I don’t want to be that kind of person.”

He’s kind. Eren is always kind. He could’ve just dated you both if he wanted to, but he didn’t. “I see,” you solemnly respond. “Can you… tell me who you’re in love with?”

He nibbles on his lip, looking down when he says, “S-Spider-Girl.”

FUCK, YES! In your mind, you’re punching the air in triumph with Cardi B and DJ Khaleed throwing a party in the background, celebrating your victory. But if you take a look at the situation, how fucking ridiculous is this? Imagine if Spider-Girl wasn’t your alter ego. It would be like you confessing to that delusional nerd Armin, only to be rejected by him saying he’s in love with a random cosplayer whose real name he didn’t even know. Well, with Armin, it’s still a plausible thought. Ridiculous, sure, but plausible.

“I see…” You land a hand above your heart, pretending like it’s breaking when you’re really trying your best not to cackle like a madman. “Oh, gosh… I don’t know what to say… This is such shocking news to me.”

Colors drain from his face. “I’m sorry.” He looks like he’s the one who’s having his heart shredded apart. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you like this. I’m sorry for leading you on. I should’ve told you last night. You are such an attractive woman. You’re beautiful. You’re brilliant and you’re so kind and—”

Oh my God, he’s consoling me now. It’s getting harder and harder not to guffaw at his face. "Ren—"

“—I’m sure there are a lot of guys out there who would love to date you,” Eren says, his eyes drooping in sadness. “And I know this is a selfish thought but I hope we can… still be friends?”

God, you better be grateful I’m Spider-Girl ‘cause this feels like a terrible break-up movie and I’m livid. “We can,” you nod. “But only if you do something for me.”

Eren blinks, his eyes turning hopeful. “Yes, anything. Anything you want, I’ll do it.”

“Okay, then, sit down on the floor.” With a confused frown, he follows without a word. “Lean back.” You give two light taps on the railing of his bed and he rests his backside against it. “Good, now close your eyes. Don’t open them until I say so.”

“Umm… Okay…” 

“Promise me that.”

“I promise.” His furrow turns deeper when he senses you crawling up his bed. You position yourself behind him, lying down on your stomach with your elbows propping the upper part of your body. 

You lean close, whispering breathily in his ear, imitating the words he once said to you on the night he kissed you. “Can I try something I’ve never done before?”

He shivers. The way your voice echoes through his mind sends his mind reeling. “Y-yes…” It sounds more like a question and you almost laugh. He’s beyond nervous. 

Your hand slithers down his cheek before you hook your fingers on the underside of his jaw. You lift his face. His gaze would’ve lingered on the ceiling if he had his eyes opened but Eren keeps them pressed shut. Your touch feels burning on his skin. “W-what are you doing?” he stutters out as you take off his glasses.

“Telling you my biggest secret,” you murmur, leaning closer until you have your face hovering above his. He can almost feel your every word on his skin. “Do you trust me?”

“I—” He noticeably gulps. “I do.”

With an elfin smile, you lower your head. Eren softly gasps when your lips are connected. You’re kissing him upside-down, similar to the kiss he shared with Spider-Girl. You try to replicate the way he kissed you that night, starting out slow, giving him a light, innocent kiss. There’s no pressure on your lips, nothing to distract him away from how soft they feel against his. This is that kiss—your first kiss together.

And Eren remembers it. His body, his lips, his heart remember it.

A few seconds are spent with Eren holding his breath and when you pull away, whispering, “Look at me,” he slowly opens his eyes but they stay half-lidded, completely dazed. 

You stroke his cheek, your smile is an everlasting beauty. 

“I’m in love with you too, Rennie.” 

Your confession certainly comes as a shock, but it’s not as much as the way you called his name. Eren has his heartbeat ringing clamorously in his ears, his eyes widening at the pet name you gave him back when you were nine-year-old. His flashback hits him at once and it strikes him like thunder. He has never told anyone else about the little girl he met in the hospital except for Spider-Girl, and even then, he didn’t tell you that she used to call him Rennie. So how the fuck can you tell? 

Eren turns around, almost knocking his head against the railing as he does. “Wait—” He rises to his feet, both hands stretched out forward. He is mortified beyond belief. So embarrassed, that he wishes he can light himself on fire so he doesn’t have to deal with whatever the fuck that’s going on. This can’t be—she can’t be—

He catches you grinning at him no matter how much you try to hold yourself back. “Calm down, Rennie.”

“No, don’t call—” Oh my God, I can’t breathe—This isn’t happening right now—She—

You’re laughing—great, now you’re laughing—interrupting his thoughts and sending him even further down this endless hole of shame. “So, I’m your first love, huh? Been crushing on me ever since we were nine? Damn, didn’t know you were such a simp for me, Tarantula Boy.”

“No. No, no, no, no, no.” He only has one color on his face: red. “You can’t do this to me—”

“And you jerked off to my pictures?” You playfully scold him, stepping down from the bed and making your way to his spot. “Can’t say I’m pleased with that. Also, I can’t believe you kissed me right after our date ended. Not to mention, I had to save your ass again—”

Fuck, I can’t do this. Eren spins on his heels, literally trying to run away in shame as his brain turns into mush. He has one hand around the doorknob, ready to run and jump off the nearest bridge when you stretch out your arm and shoot out your web. Snaring him by his wrist, you pull him back toward you with a hard yank. With a startled yelp, Eren tumbles back, his body nearly crashes against yours but you catch him just in time. You flick the web off your wrist and tangle your arms around his neck. 

Standing on your toes, you press your body against his, meshing your lips together and laughing against his mouth in response to the muffled sounds of his protest. “Kill me,” he sighs against your mouth, followed by a strangled moan when you part your lips just to close them around his bottom one. “Just kill me now, please.”

“You sure about that?” You tease him, one hand sliding down his chest. “Cause I’d rather do something else if you ask me.” You nip on his lip, not being as gentle as before. 

Groaning in defeat, Eren frames your face with both hands. He decides to take control of the kiss as a way to make you feel just as flustered as he is now. He’s still awkward, his teeth almost knocking against yours but when his tongue slides inside, he manages to steal a gasp out of your mouth. 

You lean your entire weight on him, clawing against his chest as he winds his arm around your waist. “Easy, Tarantula Boy,” you giggle, still sounding mischievous albeit a little breathless.

“You’re evil.” Eren moves his lips to your jaw before he settles his head in the crook of your neck. “I can’t believe you played me like this. Is this the reason why you were being so aggressive today?”

“I’m sorry.” Your small laughter morphs into soft moans as his tongue slithers against yours again. Your fingers slip between his strands, your eyes closed in pleasure as you face the ceiling, giving him more access to nibble on the supple skin of your neck. “I didn’t mean to go this far, actually. I just wanted to tease you a little bit but—” Your sentence ends abruptly in a gasp when he seizes you by your waist and throws you down to the bed. His strength surprises you but the way he handles you so easily, losing almost all the tenderness in his touch, lights your stomach on fire. He crawls on top of you, pinning your hand down against the sheets before he smashes your lips together again. The sudden change in his attitude baffles you but you're quick to display your smirk again. “My, my, look who’s being so aggressive now.”

“Shut up,” he replies, face aflame, robbing you of the ability to speak. Eren kisses you deeply, almost frantically, demanding, plundering your mouth with his own, and you understand why. He doesn’t use his passion to cover his embarrassment, not like what you thought he was doing. He’s kissing you like this, like he owns you and you own him, because he’s been in love with three different people all this time, and all of them are now in his arms, in the shape of you. And, God, you are beautiful.

“Calm down,” you remind him again, sliding your fingers up and down his spine, effectively slowing down his pace. His bun is a mess, his strands falling all over the place, all designed by your eager hands. You play with the baby hair on his nape when he pulls away, your smile is too delicate to be real. “I’m not going anywhere. You don’t have to rush.”

His heart hammers inside his chest and it’s beating so fast, it’s frightening, but Eren loves it. He’s always felt this way when he was with you—with any version of you—but now that he knows you’re all of them, his heart beats three times faster. “I don’t think I can do it.” He keeps his face close enough for the tip of your nose to brush against his when he whispers, “I’ve been in love with the same girl for twelve years and now you’re right here and I’m… I’m going insane.”

He’s adorable. So adorable. “Well then, maybe I feel the same way…” You untangle his hair tie with one hand, pushing back his hair behind his ear before you caress his cheek. “‘Cause I’m sure I’ve been in love with the same boy for twelve years too.”

He melts in your arms, weak with the surge of joy that suffuses his body. “It’s hard to believe that you’re Spider-Girl,” he breathes out, resting his temple above yours, closing his lids. He seems so blissful, so relieved at the revelation. “But at the same time, it feels so right. This is the perfect moment of my life, I feel like I’m gonna die.”

“Don’t die just yet,” you titter. “You haven’t loved me enough yet.”

He breaks away with a peal of laughter flowing past his lips. “I’m already going insane because of you and you still want me to love you harder than this?”

“If you can.”

“So demanding.” He jokingly rolls his eyes. “That little boy in the hospital.” He twines his fingers around your wrist, bringing your hand closer to his face. He speaks his next words with his lips brushing against the lines of your palm. “Have you always known it was me?”

“No…” You’re entranced, eyes turning a bit hazy at the way his long eyelashes flutter against his cheeks. He peppers soft kisses on your skin down to the veins that paint your inner wrist. “I only realized it was you when you told me that story.”

“That night on the rooftop?” His pout returns. “You should’ve told me then.”

“Well, yes, but then I wouldn’t get to have this much fun.” You toss him your signature Cheshire Cat grin. Eren throws you a playful snort before he dives back to taste your lips again. “Plus, I was too… embarrassed to say a word back then. I’ve always thought you looked familiar but I had no idea that you were that boy.” You hug him close, breathing right against his ear. “You grew up so handsomely, Rennie….”

He’s buzzing with joy, every part of him is. “You’re really trying to kill me right now, aren’t you?” Eren tickles your side, making you laugh hard enough for his neighbors to hear. He takes in everything, the crinkles in your eyes, the way you have your mouth opened wide, and that adorable laughter you emit–he loves it all. “This is how I always imagined you to look underneath that mask when you laughed,” he confesses, settling himself between your legs. 

You play with his necklace, fingers hooking around his silver chain. “Are you disappointed that I’m not as feminine as I usually behave on campus?”

“Are you kidding? I love you more like this.” Your heart thrashes wildly, no matter how hard you tell it to stay put. Eren props his elbows on the bed, trapping you between his arms. He gently swats the bangs out of your eyes, taking his time to examine your every feature, using the chance to commit every part of you into memory. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid my eyes on but it’s Spider-Girl whom I’m in love with, and I never cared about her looks. I care about the way she comforts me with her words.” He presses a gentle kiss on the center of your temple, stunning you with intimacy. “I care about the way she cares about me.” He drags his lips to your cheek, lips as light as feathers. “How she gets upset on my behalf when I blame myself for something that isn’t my fault.”

“Yeah, you do that a lot, it’s annoying,” you giggle and you can feel his smile growing on your skin. “What else do you care about?”

“I care about the way she uses sarcasm as her weapon.” His lips are now closing around your earlobe, letting you know the shape of his smirk as he speaks. "And how she gets snarkier when she's embarrassed, not knowing what to do when she receives a compliment."

You flinch, a little bit sensitive in that area. Especially when he sounds breathier like this, huskier as if he just woke up from his dream. “I thought I was irritating.” 

“Sometimes, sure.” But in his next lines, he abandons all the mirth in his voice, and he speaks sincerely from the bottom of his heart. “I'm kidding. I just find you endearing. I care about how you always pretend to be strong when you’re actually scared.” He grants a soft kiss on your nose, breaking away to look you in the eyes as he strokes your hair. “I care about how you seem like you don’t need anybody else in your life, when the truth is, you’re always searching for someone to be there for you. Just like everyone else, you’re scared of being alone.”

Your gaze softens, your stomach somersaulting at his words. “I can never lie to you, can I?” Your voice is not louder than a whisper, your lips only a breath away. “Ever since we were kids, you always knew what to say to me. You understood me more than anyone else.” It’s such a wonderful feeling to be with someone you can truly open yourself to. No secrets. No lies. No sweet nothings. No boundaries. “I wish we had never grown apart during those years. I would’ve loved to spend every moment with you. Growing up together. Being your best friend and making out with you on our school’s rooftop during lunch breaks.” You brush two of your fingertips against his lips, tracing the pretty shape of his mouth as he chuckles. “Maybe I could even give you that radioactive spider that bit me so you could be my sidekick and we could fight crimes together.”

“Your sidekick?”

“It’s kind of a package deal. Plus, I have better social skills. You're not ready to be a superhero, trust me."

"And why not?"

"'Cause even if you were able to kick some ass, you’d never win against your true enemy.”

“Which is?”

“The press. And Tony Stark ‘cause he’d just bully you like crazy without me.”

He just can’t seem to stop grinning when he’s with you. “Well, it’s not too late to start. I'm sure there's some radioactive spiders somewhere.” He gently bites on the tip, rolling your finger between his teeth. “Can you find me a tarantula, though? Spiders are a little bit overrated.”

“Of course, baby. Whatever you want.” 

Eren smiles, bestowing another kiss and letting himself drown in your taste for a minute before he pulls away with a pout. “You said you could never lie to me,” he mutters. “But you’ve been lying to me about your identity for three months.”

“Oh my God,” you groan, throwing your head back. “Stop being so butthurt about it. I said I’m sorry.”

He chortles, gathering your face in his hand again. “You’re so annoying.” He pecks your lips. “But I love you.”

“You’re such an idiot.” You pull him for another kiss, separating your lips to welcome him inside. “But I love you.”

Your kisses seem never-ending, and none of you complains about it. It’s so addicting, so exciting to have his taste lingering in your mouth, to feel the flick of his tongue against yours. Eren may be an inexperienced kisser, but he learns fast. By the time he regains confidence, it’s easy for him to steal your breath away, leaving you all dazed and needy for more.

You have your body squeezed against his, your heels hooked behind his waist, but you’re left feeling unsatisfied as you still have layers of clothing separating your skin from his. “Can I do something I’ve never done before?” you ask him with a cheeky grin.

Eren, who was suckling on your neck a second ago, elevates his face just to give you a flat stare. “Can you stop embarrassing me for one second?” 

“What, I can’t speak English now?”

“You’re using my words!”

“Since when are those words your words—It’s basic English!” Laughing, you roll him to his back, position yourself above his lap and watch him gulp in anticipation. With a naughty smirk, you slip your hand underneath his shirt, your fingers tracing the ridges of his abdomens before you bunch up the fabric in one hand and push it up to his chest. “Wow…” The word accidentally slips out of your mouth as you stare shamelessly at him. “Jesus, when the heck did you work out?”

“S-shut up.” He pushes down his shirt, hiding as much skin as he can from your hungry eyes while blushing like the virgin that he is.

Well, actually, you’re a virgin too, but at least, you act like a pro. “Why are you covering—let me see your abs!”

“No!”

“Wha—” You’re trying to pry his hands away. He’s pretty strong, and you don’t want to use your superhuman strength to pin him down just so you can marvel at his stomach (you won’t stoop that low).

“Stop trying to undress me, woman!”

You know what, if he keeps fighting you back like this, you might as well tie him up with your web. “Rennie, come on, just give me a peek!” Did you sound desperate? Yes. Are you desperate? Yes, times a thousand. “I’m your girlfriend, you know!”

“You literally just became my girlfriend like seven minutes ago!” He’s struggling just as much, keeping the hem of his shirt as low as possible. “Also, being my girlfriend doesn’t mean you can do whatever you like with my body! Ask me for my consent first!”

You see, he’s right. He’s totally right, but— “Babe, I can literally feel your dick poking against my thigh right now.”

“Y-yeah, but still…” Aaaaand he's blushing. 

“Huh. Cute. Now let’s get back to the game, darling.” You grab the hem of his shirt and— 

“No, wait! I’m not mentally ready and we're—” Eren gasps loudly—almost too dramatically—in both horror and surprise when you shoot two lumps of your web, snaring his wrists and keeping them glued on the bed right on each side of his head. He turns to face you again, his jaw dropping low when he speaks, “Did you just use your web on me?”

You did. Holy shit, you did. What happened to not stooping that low? “I-I’m sorry.”

“Just to see my abs.”

You palm your face, your cheeks blazing hot. “I’ll let you out—”

“You know Peter Parker wouldn’t do this to MJ, right?”

You sigh. You kinda wish you were bitten by a radioactive bunny so you could dig really fast and bury your whole existence inside a hole. “Well, I mean, I wouldn’t know–”

“Steve Rogers would judge you so hard right now.”

“Steve’s actually a kinky bitch. I’m sure he likes it. Look, just calm down,” you tell him, settling yourself on his lap while trying your best to ignore the way his cock is twitching in his pants at the sensation of your weight pressing against him. “I won’t do anything to you without your permission, all right? I'll act like a gentleman. A gentlewoman, if you must.”

“Oh, am I your lady now?”

“You’re acting like one right now, aren’t you?”

“Oh, shut up.” He yanks on his wrist, trying to break free but your web is unyielding. “Can you get this off of me? This looks ridiculous!”

No, it doesn’t. This looks kinky as fuck. Never have you imagined that you’d be using your superhero ability to tie up a handsome man on his own bed, but you learn something new every day, I guess. Trying not to stare so much at the way his biceps are flexing with every attempt he makes, you ask the most important question. “Are you nervous because you’re a virgin?”

“I’m not—” His face catches on fire. “I’m not nervous, I’m just—okay, yeah, I’m nervous.”

“Because you’re a virgin?”

“No,” is his first answer but then bashfully he corrects with, “Well, yeah, kinda. But I’m more nervous about the fact that you’re… not.”

“Not what?”

“A virgin.” He tucks his chin, his voice muted. “I just… I don’t want to disappoint you.” Because Eren knows that you’ve dated several popular guys on campus in the past. Porco Galliard, Colt Grice, even that notorious bad boy, Floch Forster at some point. How can he compete with that? He wants to have sex with you—God, he wants nothing more than to get his dick wet with the girl he’s been in love with for twelve years—but what if you’re not satisfied with him? What if he sucks (no pun intended)? What if he’s supposed to suck but he can’t suck properly? Like sucking on your tits, for example. What if he can’t suck them right? What if—

“I’m a virgin, though,” you say.

“Okay, you can do whatever you want with me. I’m ready.” 

That’s it. That’s all it takes for you to get his consent. The next thing you know, Eren has his shirt bunched up around his chest, your fingers splayed and pressed flat against his stomach. “Damn,” you murmur under your breath, eyes transfixed on the way his muscles tighten underneath your palm. “If I had known you looked like this underneath that hoodie, I wouldn’t have wasted all these months keeping my identity a secret.”

His blush blossoms fast on his face, flinching when he feels your fingertips tracing the dip of his V-line. “I—I thought you were trying to keep your identity a secret to protect me.”

“Well, yeah, that too, but—” You brush your pads against his navel, feeling the little happy trail that disappears behind his jeans. He lets out this little sound, like a mix between a yelp, a whimper, and a moan, and it’s so fucking cute. “I think I’d be okay with you getting kidnapped once a week if I get to do this every day.”

“It feels so weird to have a hot girl talking about me like this, but okay.” Eren, despite how bizarre this conversation is getting, still has his focus on how to break himself free from your webbing. “Can you do something about this, please? It feels sticky on my skin.”

“No.”

“What do you mean 'no?' I can’t touch you if I’m like this!”

“Yes, that is the point, now shut up.” To Eren’s surprise, you casually yank your dress over your head, tossing it haphazardly on the floor and leaving you only in nice lacy lingerie that matches the shade of your lipstick.

“Fuck me,” he mutters under his breath, his gaze quickly shifting down to your chest. He gulps at the sight. “B-badonkers…”

“Excuse me?”

“I mean, your tits—your breasts!” He stammers. “They’re—they’re perfect. Like, the shape of them and how they look so… so soft and…” He clears his throat, realizing just how much lame he’s being. “You know, like a really nice pair of natural, fully functional breasts.”

You scrunch up your nose at his words. “Are you going to be like this the whole time?” You reach one hand behind your back, unclasping your bra.

“I… hope not…” He’s staring with unblinking eyes, practically salivating at the sight of your breasts bouncing once as you position yourself better on his lap. Fuck, they really are perfect. “A-are you sure you’ve never done this before?”

“You mean sex? No.” You lean forward, crawling up his body until you have your face hovering above his again. “Why?”

“You just seem awfully calm and—” You leave him speechless for a good few seconds when you press your breasts against his chest. Eren whines, closing his eyes as he throws his head against the bed. “Fuck.” 

Your lips twitch up into a smirk. “Soft, aren’t they?”

“Like fucking marshmallows.” He dreamily sighs—almost sobbing, really. “Can I have your tits in my mouth, please?”

Perhaps sometime in the future, when you look back into this scene again, you’ll have the biggest cringe moment in your life because what the fuck is he asking but right now, everything just seems so hot, you don’t even care. “Yeah, but maybe later once I’m done with you.” You reward him with a kiss to distract him, stifling his protest. “To tell you the truth, I’ve gone to second base before but I’ve… never gone past that.”

“Oh… Why not?”

“Just didn’t feel like it was the right thing to do at that time,” you answer with a shrug. “I almost did it with Porco but… It felt like I was missing something so I stopped him at the last minute.”

There’s jealousy burning inside him, but the revelation also provides him some relief. “I see…”

You can sense it, the tiny hint of fury raging in his chest and you nuzzle the tip of your nose against his to soothe him down. “Are you jealous?”

“No.” 

He is. He so is. “Would you like it if I said I was waiting for the right person?” You slide down one finger from the middle of his chest to the dip of his belly button. “Waiting for you?”

“N-no.”

He would. He so would. “You’re cute.”

“Stop calling me cute—ah!” A moan is snatched away from the back of his throat the second you grind your hips against him. Even the slightest friction drives him insane and now he has you rubbing your clothed heat against his bulge. “Fuck, baby, that feels good.”

You recall the way he called you by that pet name on that night you shared your first kiss with him, and as pleasant as it was in your ears, this one feels a million times better. It’s laced with urgency, desperation, and need. “Can I take off your jeans?” You ask him, even when your fingers are already playing with his zipper. 

“Are you going to ask me questions the whole time?”

“You said you wanted me to ask for your consent.”

“Yeah, fuck that. Do whatever you want with me. I’m yours.”

You almost laugh. “Well then, don’t mind if I do,” you say, a moment before your lips meet in a frenzied kiss. Eren arches his back, wanting to close every inch of gap between your skins until he feels like you’re completely plastered against him. He can feel your hand sliding down his stomach, toying with the button of his jeans before you push them down to his mid-thighs, along with his briefs. With a sheepish smile, you maintain eye contact as you curl your fingers gently around his shaft.

“How does it feel, Rennie?” You keep your face close, loving his expression. “Feels good?”

His chest rises and falls with rapid breaths, his face scarlet and erotic. “Feels ama—”

Right at that exact moment, Zeke Jaeger comes bursting inside his room with a phone in his hand, recording everything as he shouts, “AHA! CAUGHT YOU GUYS IN 4K! I knew you wouldn’t be studying–” He freezes at the sight of you stroking his sibling’s cock, your naked breasts practically dangling over his face, and for a second, none of you make a sound.

And then, it’s chaos.

The three of you are screaming at the same time, with you quickly grabbing the nearest pillow to cover your front, completely forgetting to throw a blanket on your poor boyfriend who’s practically buck-naked on his bed. Eren, with his wrists still glued to the sheets, can only spout out incoherent words, while his brother, who’s so horrified at the sight of Eren’s cock, spasming and leaking in desperate need of attention, can only stand still, his brain unable to function. It’s only until Eren screams, “ZEKE, GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM!” that he returns to his senses, whining out, “DINA, MY BROTHER IS FUCKING BEFORE ME!” as he runs back into the kitchen.

You hastily jump down from the bed, shutting the door and locking it up. “Use your web,” Eren says, “He has a spare key. He can still barge in anytime.”

“I think he saw us,” you utter in horror.

“Yeah.” 

“If I drop him off the building and make it look like an accident, do you think you’ll be okay with that?”

“Will I be okay with you killing my brother after seeing your boobs and catching me getting tied up to my bed and being dominated like a fucking masochist by my girlfriend?” Eren watches his cock wilting away. “Yes.”

“Well, not killing. I’m just gonna punch him hard enough to give him like a massive concussion or something.”

“No, no, no. Let’s just stick to murder. I like murder.”

***

AN: Hi, everyone! It took me a while but I finally got to finish this series. I wanted to write a small epilogue that will feature a funny scene where they get to lose their virginity to each other but since I'm pregnant with my second child now, I don't think I'll have the energy/time to do it, I'm sorry 😭😭😭 I hope you enjoyed the story despite how cringe this is (I'm never gonna do comedy again oh god what was I thinking). Anyway, thank you so much for reading! I'll see you next time!

Tagging:

@l6ffys @vivi-et @halparkebitch @fwess @littlemochi @thebeardedmoon @didiyogo @coyloves @erenbean @tehehebri @justasketch @infnteen @naiomiwinchester @spiderlingh @doyochii @ahornyenby @aengelren @sakurashell @princess-okkotsu @resonancesoul @blrqt @cacapeepee @persyhange @jaegersdiary @erentoes @trashygremlin04 @meed18 @j0livi0ni @snowflake-201 @eva-gates @claudevonstrukesblog @sofijaeger @rinsie @blanccofiie @ereninbunu @natanialora @khinjito @jaegeriess @watermelon-online @tropicsoda @damselofblueroses @alexackrman @bblgumz @jurrasicpork @erenjaegercult @holycandypizza

[cala-aceattorney]

Ok I just finished replaying AA4, right? And I just want to say how incredibly unfair it is that Kristoph is so HOT. Like why does AA gotta make their villains so hot?! Unfair!!!

Anyways I've been THINKING abt Kristoph- abt him being legitimately nice. Like wholesome-ish Kristoph is actually my kryptonite.

i should simp for Klavier instead. Hes hot. But Kristoph 👀👀👀

Imagine the Gavin brothers fighting over you or both flirting with u to see who wins!!

Hi, thanks for the ask!

Does kristoph qualify as hot? Actually what villain in aa is genuinely hot? I'm thinking dahlia but she's more porcelain-doll-pretty than like. Sexually attractive. Kristoph is crystal-immaculate AND he's a big whore (Sorry not sorry) but again. Hot? I think the only really "hot" villain would be matt engarde. (Not that i experience sexual attraction.) (I also refuse to mention manfred von karma.) but why are the villains so pretty! (Not manfred fuck off manfred)

Kristoph being nice is all that i live for btw ! i think when he was just a teen and klavier was a child i think he genuinely cared for his little brother? I think he still does actually but they've grown so distant and kristoph only feels the need to be perfect so he'll use anyone at his disposal as a stepping stone. He's just a bit unhinged. Just like me <3 /j

Klavier is attractive actually. He's great! I should do a little meta analysis on him and how he pushes the game forward. Again, no sexual attraction here so i cant comment.

And no, i cant imagine the brothers fighting over anyone really. They've probably got very different taste in men. And im not that masc-looking anyways. And I'd rather go through the Manipulative Brother Experience™️ than be a romantic partner? (Also i am OBLIVIOUS to flirting. Not that anyone would flirt with me. I've seen two people flirt in front of me but i couldn't even notice so i just kept on talking about whatever i was talking about while not knowing i was a third wheel. So that's great :D)

Or did i get that wrong. Were you trying to get me to write something about the gav bros x reader or something. In that case im sorry idk how to write x reader :,)

[cala-aceattorney]

Realizing that I wrote that ask too late at night for it to be understandable. LMAO anyways- I think I meant twist villains?

I KNOW I did not mean Meanie Manfred. Matt Engarde is pretty but he's stupid. V stupid.

I just do not understand the attraction I feel toward Kristoph Gavin. AT ALL. And yet it's there. I'm like "he is so pretty and he has a dog". The crush should have stopped at his breakdown but noooo bestie it is THERE.

I agree that the Gavin bros wouldn't fight over anyone- instead i think klav would try to protect someone from kristoph jenner. like i'm imagining him telling me rn that I'm an idiot bc kristoph jenner is an asshole. And I am looking at his face and telling him "Bestie I KNOW."

MEANIE MANFRED 😭

Kristoph is villain-attractive i think. Just that type of person who is very very charismatic, bad just by looks and even worse inside. Anyone who has an "i can fix him" attitude is immediately drawn to him.

The most attractive thing about kristoph is that he has a dog, that i can agree with. Vongole beloved <3333333 ill subject myself to extreme torture if that means i can pet vongole on the head god knows i need to pat a dog like a bongo!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think Klavier wouldn't really get to "protect" anyone from his brother though. Like they're too far apart for klavier to even really know who kristoph is involved with (excluding phoenix of course since the three are intricately tied together)? And i think some part of klavier feels inferior to his brother in some way (yes inferiority complex) so he wouldn't feel "qualified" to butt in, yes? But yes we here at the kristoph enjoyer club are willingly stepping into inferno for this man so that's that!

[ficsforeren-tags]

Additional Tags:

@sadtrains @somethingstranges-blog @katykat71114 @ashleighclark98 @doveblackboat @reddidh @thedegenerateducky @loveeren @erenswife5 @rosietoesy @xamex9 @wycliffx @calidarr9 @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @juicybuns @silenthearts @sushiimara @yagamiryuk01 @iman-ismaillee @80s-outsiders @itsantisocialratworld @piecksarmrest @saoirse-grace @lesfiori @nananira

Blissful Ignorance - Chapter 2

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Eren Jaeger X Female Reader

Genre: Pornstar AU, Smut, Fluff, Light Angst, Romance, Humor

Series Summary: Over the last four years, you’ve become a rising star in the adult entertainment industry. Yet, you can’t seem to forget one of the actors you met in the very beginning of your career — Eren Jaeger. You might even say you’ve got a bit of a crush on him with how often you watch his videos. When you’re hired by Bellesa Films to shoot a sex video, they allow you to choose your partner, and without hesitation you request Eren Jaeger. And while the sex is bliss, like nothing you’ve ever experienced before, you’re ignorant to the truth behind your years-long crush.

Chapter Summary: You and Eren are reunited in Bellesa House, a place where pornstars get to choose their partners to film their next sex tape with. For once, Eren forgets that he’s a pornstar that has to perform in front of the cameras. Right now, he’s just a guy madly in love, thrilled by the fact that he gets to embrace you once again.

Content Warnings: foursome, threesome, sex while being filmed, cream pie, sex with other people present in the room, rough unprotected sex, blow job, cunnilingus, face-sitting, squirting, fingering, hand job, orgasm denial, overstimulation, deep throating, heavy swearing, use of a leash and bondage, incest, dub-con, cum eating/cum play, degradation, praising, pet names, sex toys, choking, humiliation, spit play, tongue piercings, slapping, spanking, dacryphilia, public sex, female and male masturbation, 69.

Word Count: 12k

Poster art by the most talented @rainbuniart

“You’re gonna cum for Daddy?”

Your front teeth sank into the flesh of your bottom lip, suppressing a moan as you arched your back at the sound of his gravelly voice. “Yes, Daddy,” you whispered in a longing sigh, grinding your heat repeatedly against the texture of your fingers.

“Fuck yourself for me, baby girl. I want to see that dripping cunt sucking on your fingers.”

Like a servant, you obeyed his words, doing your best as if he was present in your room. You could imagine him looking down at you with his stunning green eyes, a belt stretched out between his hands. Eren always liked that, didn’t he? He always tied his partners up in bed and used his belt as a leash around their necks, treating them like dogs in heat. God, the thought of being dominated by him… Who would have thought that the same sweet, shy Eren you met in the spring was capable of treating his women like sex slaves in bed?

Keeping your thighs wide open, your legs slid against the silky sheets of your bed, your fingers thrusting inside your hole at the same speed as his strokes.

“Goddamn, baby, look at that pretty fucking pussy. So wet, so needy. You’re making Daddy’s cock so hard right now, you know that?”

Your eyes, misted by lust and the desperation of your release, were glued to the monitor of your MacBook. There, inside your screen, was Eren Jaeger—one of the most notorious pornstars working in the industry at the time. He was nothing like the man you shared a scene with three years ago. His features didn’t change much—still leaving you breathless with the same high cheekbones, the same sharp nose, the same prominent jawlines, and the same plump lips that felt much softer than they appeared. He was naked, save for the jeans that hung low on his hips. He was slouching on his seat, leaning his back against the leather-clad couch, his long, thick cock twitching in one hand. The light in his room was dimmed, but you could still make out a glimpse of the tattoo that painted his rib cages. You were sure it wasn't there before, but it served as a nice touch. It made him look more masculine. Dangerous.

He wore his hair down, just like he did in every sex video he was featured in. His brown strands were long enough to graze his shoulders, framing his face so beautifully like a painting. Except Eren wasn’t a piece of art you should adore. He was the epitome of the sweetest sin, one that you should turn your gaze away from. But instead, there you were, staring at Sin in the eyes—wishing you were looking down at him as you trapped his head between your legs.

He seemed taller with broader shoulders, a perfectly sculpted chest, and strong biceps that flexed every time he pumped himself to the edge. There was not a layer of fat on his body. Every ridge of his abdomen was sketched by God Himself. He must have been working out frequently, going through a strict diet to maintain his perfection to keep his popularity above the ground.

God, I want him.

How many videos of him have you watched? How many times have you touched yourself to the thoughts of him? How many times have you wished for him to show up in the darkness of your bedroom, whispering your name between praises in that thick German accent of his as he rubbed his throbbing length against your insides? You wouldn't have been able to count it even if you wanted to.

That day after you finished filming with him for the first time, the sexual tension between you was even thicker than before. You had his name tumbling off your lips in erotic moans, and that made you feel restless. Made you feel so unprofessional. It wasn’t supposed to work like that. Porco and Pieck might be able to work out their relationship, despite them having sex with different people every day of the month, but could you do it? It was better to keep your feelings locked inside. You had a crush on him, so what? It didn’t mean you had to act on it. That was why you declined his offer when Eren timidly asked you, “Would you like to, uhh, grab some coffees together with me?” You broke his heart when you said no, you could see it in his eyes. And you apologized twice, but the pain never faltered.

You didn’t ask for his contact details, as you were not sure if it was wise for you to stay friends with how much you were attracted to each other. It was better not to play with fire when you knew that you’d get burnt. Perhaps he felt the same way too as he didn’t ask for yours either. Little did you know that Eren was just too afraid to ask, especially after you seemed uninterested to go on a date with him. You didn’t know that one of the reasons why Eren continued working in the sex industry was so he could cross paths with you again. You weren’t aware that he had tried to contact your agency several times, hoping to be able to work with you, only to have his offer rejected again and again due to various reasons. And so, you left him like a ghost with him unable to chase after you, even if he tried.

But then weeks passed by and you still couldn’t stop thinking about him. You kept picturing his face during intercourse, kept imagining his husky voice in your ear to help you drive yourself to the brink. About three months later, you started searching for his name on PornHub. You weren’t sure if he wanted to truly pursue his career as a pornstar, but it wouldn’t hurt to check. So you typed down the name Eren Jaeger, but nothing came up. Disappointment hit you more than you’d expected. You tried again, using only his surname this time, and it matched. There was a model on Pornhub who went by the name Jaeger. With your heart pounding loud, you clicked on one of his videos.

It was him.

Eren.

After that, you were a lost cause. You were addicted, not to his porn movies, but to him entirely. The way he gazed into the camera, looking all superior and domineering as he groaned out filthy words, degrading his viewers with his fist pumping his cock. You were hooked on the way he spoke in that seductive, breathy, raspy voice of his, wishing he would end every sentence with a growl of your name. You had a crush on Eren, but you fell into an obsession with Jaeger. It was fascinating how these two completely different personas belonged to the same person. And it made you want him more.

During the three years you were separated from him, you tried to contact his agency multiple times, asking for his number so you could give him a call. They insisted on not disclosing any personal information regarding their artists, leaving you empty-handed. You even went as far as asking your manager, Hitch Dreyse, to land you a gig with him, but he was much more popular than you’d expected. His schedules were always fully booked, movie after movie. And with your current popularity, it was a given that you weren’t going to be his top priority.

You’d think that being a pornstar who spent hours of your days having sex with men you barely knew anything about but their names would leave you satisfied for the night. But it was the opposite. You were forced to give them pleasure, to give your audience pleasure, but you never gave it to yourself. This, right here, with your eyes fixated on the way Eren was touching himself inside your screen—this was your pleasure. Even indirectly, he still gave you the bliss you were seeking, and it became more like a drug each day. Addicting. Intoxicating. Humiliating.

His voice—his alluring, guttural voice—always sounded deeper when he performed in front of the camera. This was the other thing that felt different to you. When he embraced you three years ago, his moan felt more like a broken whimper. Breathier. Needier. As if the lightest brush of your fingertips on his skin lit every inch of him on fire, where you were the only one who could provide the salve.

This Eren on the screen, this new persona of him, seemed a lot more mature. A lot bolder, confident, fearless—nothing like the timorous, awkward, romantic boy you knew in real life. But of course, that was how he was three years ago. You had never met him after your filming ended, not even once, no matter how much you wanted to. People could change in a matter of days. Eren didn’t change. He was reborn as a new person. He became the personification of the devil himself, one that was sensuous enough to lure you down to the darkest pit of hell and convince you to stay there for eternity.

The duality of him made your skin crawl in need. You sighed heavily at the feeling of your fingers rubbing against your clit, imagining that it was his expert tongue flicking over your sensitive nub. He didn’t get to do it that time, did he? The script didn’t allow him to. Did he want it? You wondered, canting your hips as you inserted your digits deep inside your heat. Did you want to taste me, Eren?

“Mmm, baby, imagine me fucking you with my tongue,” Eren licked his lower lip as he tightened his grip around his cock, his thumb dipping inside his slit. You could feel the intensity of his gaze, the primal hunger that resided in his eyes, even through your screen. “You must taste so sweet. So fucking sweet, I want to have you cum all over my face. Want you to fucking squirt on me. Make Daddy drink that fucking juice before I spit it back in your mouth and choke you with my cock.”

He was always so descriptive. His degrading words sent thrills streaming through your blood. “Ah, Ren—fuck—I’m gonna—”

“I know, baby. Give it to me. Give it to Daddy. Let me taste that fucking cum."

Three years you had been working in the adult entertainment industry, and Eren was the only man who could make you reach your orgasm untouched. Three years you had been filming with hundreds of different men, sex tape after sex tape, and he was the only one who could fuck you exactly in the way you wanted to. Three years you had been waiting for him, aching for another taste of his lips, a dangerous caress of his hand, and finally, today, your wish is granted.

“Hey, it’s—It’s Eren.” His voice—the same one that drowns you in ecstasy every night—rings from the other side of your door.

Joy unfolds within you like a flower, making you feel intoxicated by the sheer excitement of seeing him again in person. Sitting on the edge of the bed with your body facing the door, you smoothen your hair quickly with both hands.

“Can I... come in?”

You respond with a nod, your thoughts too jumbled to form the words but Eren stands by for your answer with one hand surrounding the doorknob. Realizing that he’s still waiting for you to vocalize your permission out loud, you raise your voice, “Yes, go ahead.”

You’re not sure what you expect to see, but Eren—the charismatic, confident performer Eren Jaeger—walking into the room with one hand splayed over his face is certainly not the image you’re looking for. “Are you, uh… Are you naked?” He asks with jitters in his voice, even when his eyes are noticeably taking a peek through the spaces of his fingers.

Just like that, the nervousness that felt like invisible hands smothering your throat before vanishes at once. “I’m not.”

“Oh, thank God,” Eren breathes in relief, his hand falling back to rest on his side.

“Thank God?” You raise an eyebrow at him, playfully forming a scowl. “What, you hate seeing me naked?”

Eren gapes unattractively—except, no, he still looks very much attractive. You’re not sure if there’s anything in the world that can make him look unattractive. “T-that’s not what I meant!” He exclaims with both hands raised in front of him. “I want to see you naked. That's what I was hoping for, actually, but I wasn't sure my heart could take it if you were. That’s why I asked that question. God, please don’t get the wrong idea, I just didn’t want to make… you… feel…” His frantic explanation gradually turns into nothing when he notices the way your eyes turn into crescents, your throat emitting the cutest of giggles. “You’re laughing…”

“I am,” you reply with a grin. “You haven’t changed a bit.”

Eren’s not sure if he can take it as a compliment, but with the way you’re peering at him with your teeth nibbling on your lip—a sign that you’re both giddy and nervous—perhaps he should take it that way. “You haven’t changed either,” he says, his smile softening. “Except, well, the part where you look ten times prettier than the last time I saw you.”

“Only ten times?”

The naughty twinkle in your eyes makes him swallow his breath. “A hundred—a million—no, a gazillion times prettier. You’re breathtaking.”

“Hmm…” You rise to your feet, your hands tangled behind your back. “And when was the last time you saw me exactly?”

Eren has his spine glued to the door and he’s grateful for it. Otherwise, he would find himself melting on his feet, especially with the way you slowly make your way toward him, your hips swaying seductively with every step you take. “Three years ago?” He croaks out, wincing at the way he sounds so pathetic. “And, uh—” Eleven months. “A—a few months—maybe almost a year—four years, I don’t know, I never keep count.”

You’re now standing only a step away from him. “That’s too bad,” you feign a pout. “Because I do keep count. The last time I saw you was fifteen hours ago.”

“Huh?” How does a man look when he’s both confused and painfully aroused? Perhaps Eren should take a look at the mirror to find out. “What do you mean?”

God, look at him, you shout internally. That dumbfounded look. He’s so cute. “I’m talking about your videos.”

“Oh!” Eren’s entire body jolts in realization. “Oh, you meant you saw the thing—my thing.” He wanted to say my solo videos, but his tongue betrayed him.

“Yeah.” Naughtily, you let your eyes drift down for a few seconds to the bulge inside his pants before you bring them back to his face. “Your thing.”

He’s so transparent that you can quite literally see the way his blood pools on his face. “Are you teasing me?”

“Depends. Do you like being teased?”

“I—” He chokes, looking everywhere else but your face. “I—y-yeah, I do.”

You anticipated him to tease you back, just like how he enticed his viewers with his filthy smirk and sultry eyes, but Eren answers you with honesty, with his cheeks sporting the same color as your lipstick, with his eyes shaking in shame that he leaves you with no choice but to chortle at him.

“Why are you laughing at me?” His shoulders sag as his bottom lip juts out in a pout—which shouldn’t have appeared that natural on his mature, masculine face. “Am I being an idiot again?”

“You’re being charming.” Landing both hands on his chest, you slide them forward until they wind around his neck. “And super, super, super cute.”

You intend to hug him, but once you witness the way his beautiful jade green eyes fall to your lips, your chest tightens. Three years' worth of longing comes surging back in like churning waves under the storm.

His calloused hand finds your face, his warmth glued to your skin in the shape of his palm. He tilts up your face at the same time he slightly bends down to narrow the space between you. “Du bist wunderschön,” he breathes out, his mind reeling so fast that he returns to his native tongue.

You’re beautiful.

The words, his exotic accent, and his breathy voice—they all strike you like a hurricane, sending shivers down your spine. Eren’s eyes are glazed with desire when he glides his thumb across your lips as if he was trying to remember how soft they were with his sense of touch. They’re the same, probably even softer. Whatever it is, Eren can’t wait to find out.

So he lowers his head, his breath caressing your lips before—

“Hey guys, how are you doing—” Hange’s words stop short when she hears a loud noise of Eren’s skull bumping against the door—the same door that she pushed open with enough force to send someone toppling forward.

You gasp, covering your mouth with both palms as you take a step back in reflex. You feel sorry for Eren, you really do, but the sight of him going down to one knee with his hands trying to soothe the pain away makes it impossible for you to do anything else but laugh at the sight.

“Eren, what are you doing?” Hange says, completely unaware of what she did. “The bed's over there. Man, no wonder I can’t see you guys on my screen. You’re out of my shot.”

Lord, please give me strength, Eren heaves out an impatient breath. “I thought you said you were going to give us a few minutes alone.”

“Yeah, I changed my mind,” she snickers, moving past him to take a seat on the same director’s chair, making herself comfortable. “I’ve decided to watch the whole thing. I mean I could do it through my screen too since the cameras are connected to my phone but nothing beats seeing it live, right?”

“Seeing what? Us having sex?” You ask her, which causes the man standing behind you to blush at the thought.

“No,” Hange snorts. “Well, I mean, yes, that too, but mostly to see him do something stupid. Anyway, carry on, don’t mind me. Or us.” She makes gestures with her hand, facing the door, and Moblit, along with two cameramen, enters the room. “Proceed to do whatever you want to do. Remember, I’m not giving you any script here so you’re allowed to do what you want, to say the things you want to say. Let loose, forget the cameras. This is a safe place.”

Eren makes a face. “Hard to think that when you’re grinning like a mad scientist.”

“Why, thank you, that is what I’m famous for,” she says, popping up a can of beer. “Now, off you go, lovebirds. Action!”

***

After spending some time exchanging awkward glances with each other, you both decide to start over. The tension that once has dissolved returns at once, but your heart feels at ease now that you’ve seen the way he behaves around you. “Come here.” Taking him by the hand, you guide him to the bed, taking a seat on its edge with Eren following soon after. You trade shy smiles with him, none of you have the strength to look into each other’s eyes for more than three seconds. But it’s okay. The awkwardness feels more comforting than smothering, knowing that nothing has changed between you. Both of you may have gained a lot of experiences in the last three—almost four years. You have thousands of subscribers, you’ve got job offers lining down the door, but you’re still the same person, and he is too. Just two people, wanting nothing more but to touch and kiss and hold each other close until you’re all tangled limbs and gasping each other’s name.

There are a lot of things Eren can say to break the ice. For example, he can start by complimenting your appearance, telling you that he’s glad to see you wear your hair loose, and hoping that you would say, “Yeah, I style it this way because you said I looked better with my hair down.” Or maybe he can start with something basic. Even the words how are you would be enough to break the silence, but there he is, staring at you like he’s forgotten how to blink, just blatantly admiring your features.

She’s so pretty.

“How are you, Eren?”

And her scent—God, she smells amazing. “Like vanilla.”

“Like vanilla? What do you mean, like vanilla?”

At the sound of Hange muffling down her simper behind the camera, Eren blinks himself awake, more times than necessary. “I meant, good. I’m good. I’ve been—I’ve been good.”

There’s something about him, about the words he said and the way he said them, that makes you want to tease him again and again. “You haven’t been…” You make sure to roll the next word suggestively with your tongue. “…bad?”

“Oh my God, don’t do this to me right now,” he whines. “I’m already seconds away from fainting even without you dirty talking to me.”

“How is that dirty talking?” You nearly let out a hearty laugh. “You look handsome, by the way. I really like the way you tie up your hair in a bun. It’s cute.” It’s refreshing to see him this way, as he always wore his hair down in his videos.

He raises his hand to his nape, nails scratching against his skin as his face turns scarlet. “Thanks, umm… I showered.”

“For me?”

“For you.”

“Thank you.” You honestly can’t stop smiling at him, just like how a thirteen-year-old girl would act when she’s around her crush. But in a way, it’s true, right? You have such a huge crush on him. Borderline obsessed at this rate, even. “So, how’s your life going? Seems like your fanbase is growing larger by the second.”

Once you both have surpassed the initial awkwardness, you can feel your body relaxing, exchanging conversation after conversation, where each one runs seamlessly as if you’re talking to a friend. Within a few minutes, Eren can finally showcase the smile—that youthful, boyish, adorable smile of his that you love.

“Wait.” You blink in surprise, your forehead creasing in lines as you lean closer to him to take a detailed look. “You’ve got your tongue pierced?”

“Huh? Oh… Yeah.” Worry transforms his face but not for long. She’s close, so close, too close.

“Can I see?”

Pretty, pretty, pretty. She's so pretty. "Umm... Sure."

You reach out a hand toward him, stopping mid-air to ask again for his permission. “May I?”

He answers you with a shaky nod.

Eren has to remind himself to breathe normally when you gently place a hand on his face. You guide him forward as you shift closer, your bodies are desperate for connection like two magnets separated by paper. He separates his lips, relaxing his jaw as much as he can before he darts out his tongue. “Wow…” You mumble in awe, your eyelashes fluttering against your cheekbones as you fixate your gaze on the silver, round piercing that’s strapped to his papillae. “That’s hot.”

There’s a look on your face that makes his brain run a thousand miles per hour, screaming, she’s asking for a kiss—kiss her, you idiot, kiss her! And Eren tightens the hands on his lap into fists, fighting back his temptation as he doesn’t want to startle you. But, of course, his eyes drift down to your lips, entranced by the way they glisten with your lip gloss, wondering if you would taste less like cherries and more like strawberries this time. Or maybe you’ll just taste like you. And by the time he's finished with you, you’re going to taste like him.

Jesus Christ, what are you waiting for?! Just kiss her!

But you back away before he can succumb to his desire, leaving his cheek frozen without your touch. “Did it hurt when you got it done?”

Great, the moment’s gone. You really are an idiot. “A little.”

“I think I’m gonna get one too someday.”

“You are?”

"Yeah. They said it could be quite erotic if you have a tongue piercing and you’re a gentle kisser.” The curve of your lips holds a thousand secrets. It’s mysterious and sensuous at the same time. “I think I can be pretty gentle when I have to.” You tuck a lock of hair behind your ear, looking up at him from underneath your long eyelashes. “Wouldn’t you think so, Ren?”

Eren gulps. Damn, did you have to ask that question like that? “Have you ever… kissed someone with tongue piercing before?”

“No.” There it is again. That inviting, tantalizing look on your face, and the way your eyes shift down to his lips just for a millisecond before they return to his. “I’d love to try, though.”

“You—” He turns crimson. “You want—”

The rest of his words drop dead when he feels your lips brush against his, just the faintest of touch, but enough to stop his breathing. “Yes,” you whisper, keeping your lips a mere inch away from his. “I want to.”

There’s a little pause that sends your heart thrashing wildly inside your rib cages, worried that he might not like it when you’re being this aggressive. After all, in all of his videos, he seemed like he enjoyed being in control more than being controlled. But then Eren sighs, full of longing, speaking his next words in a whisper. “Can I kiss you?”

You're lost for words, realizing just now that you’ve never had someone ask you that question before. You wonder why he’s asking you that in the first place. Isn’t it obvious that you want him to? Nevertheless, his words bite your cheeks like fire. “Yes, please.”

And when he does, you understand why he asked for your permission. He kisses you like a dying man, or rather, a starving man, and you were the sustenance that would save his life. It’s not even two seconds in, and you’re already whimpering against his mouth, with him eagerly swallowing every noise you make. He’s pulling you close, one hand holding the side of your neck, the other one fisting your hair, your breasts squeezed against his chest, answering his rapid heartbeat with your own.

It’s more than a kiss. It’s a dream. It’s your prayer getting answered. It’s your passion and desire being consumed all at once and returned ten times more intensely. The way his lips dance against yours, his tongue teases, flicking over and swiping at your lower lip, luring you into wanting to taste him in a similar fashion, it intoxicates you more than any alcohol you’ve ever had.

Did he kiss you like this before? No, you don't think he did, but it doesn’t matter. Or maybe you just don’t care. What matters is that this is Eren—the man you’ve been waiting for what feels like an eternity—and he’s making you feel good.

His lips, the taste of his mouth—they make you feel a thousand things at once. Delight, urgency, impatience, and need. Eren pours all the heat and longing he could pour into the simplest movement of your lips meshing and your tongues intertwining.

Then he recalls the words you said. It could be quite erotic if you’re a gentle kisser.

Gentle, huh?

Eren pulls away, just for a moment. You’re sharing each other’s breath, panting lightly with your foreheads pressed together. “Why are you stopping?” You ask him, sounding a little bit whinier than you intended. Your fingers curl around his wrist, your tongue peeks out to wet your bruised lip. “Kiss me again…”

Eren bites his lip for a second, a sign of nervousness before he dives back in. Be gentle, he reminds himself. He puts more control to contain his burning ache this time, kissing you deeply, but making sure that his tongue slides slowly against yours. You can feel it, feel the way the round titanium slides over your muscle. Even without it, Eren is already more than capable of waking up the butterflies inside your stomach only with his lips. But this…

“Mmm…” You moan breathily against his mouth, holding his wrist tighter as he angles your face further to the side, his tongue now gliding over your teeth. The sensation he’s giving you, the little strokes and slides, they're so much more sensual, electrifying you in ways no one has ever done before. “Eren…”

He alternates with a little nibble on your lip. “Hmm?”

“You’re…” He only allows you to speak one word at a time, rewarding you with a never-ending kiss. “You’re such a good… kisser,” you mumble out, almost deliriously, and you can feel his smile forming against your own. Your praise revives his confidence, transforming him back into his other persona—the man who knows the best way of pleasing his woman in bed.

“Yeah?” He teases you. “Open your mouth, baby.”

You part your lips wider, and he closes his around your tongue, sucking at your slick muscle until you have to squeeze your thighs together. He releases you, kissing you deeply once before he purrs, “Did you like that?”

“Yes…” Every answer comes out in a whimper. “When did you get so good?”

“Well, I’ve been practicing.” His little chuckle morphs into a soft groan when you imitate him, capturing his bottom lip between your teeth. “For, like… Four years.”

Your laughter echoes deep from your chest. “Four years?” You try to claim his mouth just as much as he does with yours. “That’s a while.”

“Yeah, just…” He drags his mouth to your cheek, your jawline, and the little spot below your ear before he returns to your lips. “Just constantly making out with my hand,” he jokes, his breathy chuckle sounds sexier than ever. “I’m glad it paid off.”

You toss your head back, exposing more skin of your neck for him to suckle on. “What else did you—ah, yes, right there—do with your hand?”

“Patting stray kittens, making pancakes for the orphans,” he answers before he takes your earlobe between your teeth, doing a little mmm when he clamps his lips around your shell. “Taking my nana’s hand as I helped her cross the street.” His hand roams over your chest, gently cupping you over your shirt. “You know, just doing good things for humanity.” You want to laugh but you can’t. You’re too conscious of the way he has his hand slipping underneath your fabric, his fingers pushing up your bra. “What about you?” He questions with a content sigh. She’s so warm. Eren mumbles something under his breath, something in German most likely, when he feels your body shuddering from the way he has your nipple trapped between his fingers.

“You’re asking me—” You shiver lightly, suddenly feeling oversensitive. “What have I been doing with my hand?”

Eren can barely keep up with the conversation. All he can think about is how to discover your favorite spots, how to make your body tremble again in the way that only he can do it. “Sure.” He pushes you gently to the bed, crawling his way down your body. “Have you been a good girl?” He lifts the hem of your shirt, just enough to reveal the soft skin of your navel.

“Depends—mmh!” Your fingers find his hair, taking a handful of his bun when he slides one hand between your legs. You lift your hips just enough for him to yank on your shorts, letting them pool around your mid-thighs before he returns his hand to rub against your clothed heat.

“Depends on what?” He licks a stripe of your skin, moving up from your stomach to the valley between your breasts. With two fingers still stroking you over your lingerie, Eren uses his other hand to massage your mound, attaching his lips to the other.

“On how you define good,” You finish, arching your back and mewling at the sensation of him sucking hard on your nipple.

“Well…” His tongue flicks over it, his piercing feels cold when it meets your bud. “I define good as you touching yourself while you watch me on the screen.” Rolling your nipple once between his teeth, he moves down, his mouth leaving wet trails on your skin. “And you moaning out my name when you cummed.”

He stands on his knees, tossing your shorts away to the floor. His gaze feels burning as he rakes his hungry eyes over your folds, his cock twitching inside his pants, begging to make contact. You squeeze your thighs together, not letting him take another peek as you provoke him with your coy smile. “Well, then…” You place a finger between your teeth, your smirk titillating. “I’ve certainly been good.”

“Yeah?” Eren’s eyes traverse down your body as he stands on his knees, looming before you. “How about today? Will you be good?”

“I don’t know. Do you want me to be good?” You purr, still sounding a little breathless every time you vocalize your words, your voice dripping with need. “I can be whatever you want me to be.”

“You’re such a tease.” His little grin is so attractive, lighting up fireworks inside your stomach, that it almost feels like he’s doing you a favor every time he smiles.

You spread your legs just a little, to give him a glimpse of your scarlet, lacy lingerie. “Do you think I’m a good girl, Ren?”

“Depends,” he answers, raising one of your legs in the air so he can take off your matching red pump. He does the same with your other one, taking his time to pepper sweet kisses on your ankle before he slides his hand up your leg. He takes off your underwear, tossing it to the side.

You watch him lean forward until he settles his head between your thighs. “On what?

“On how good you respond when I do this.” He presses his tongue against your heat, pushing it in until he can slide it up and down your lower lips. Your body jerks forward, your legs closing around his head. Eren chuckles. He didn’t expect you to be that sensitive. “Now, now,” he coos as he lands his large hand on your thigh, pinning it down against the sheets. “You want to be a good girl, don't you? Good girls stay still until Daddy tells you otherwise.”

You’re gonna cum only when Daddy allows you to, you got that? Eren’s words from the video you saw last night find their way back to your ears and you thank every God and angel in heaven for allowing you to hear him talk like this in person. That you don’t have to imagine the way he has his breath fanning your skin, his lips ghosting across the inner part of your thighs. That you don’t have to close your eyes to visualize his emerald eyes looking up at you from between your legs. You can just gaze down, and you’ll see him with his tongue darting out, his eyes coated with lust.

Resting his body on the bed with his stomach pressed against the sheets, Eren hooks his arms around your thighs, guiding you closer to him and holding you still. He starts with a gentle kiss on your clit, light as a feather but just as sinful as the desire written in his eyes. When he sees the way your breathing tatters in anticipation, he places firm, flat licks of his tongue from your opening to your nub. And then again. And again. And again. Not stopping until he feels quivers running down your legs.

“Mmm, God,” you rasp, fisting the edge of your pillow. This feels better, much better than how you imagined it would feel. His tongue is hot and eager, flicking and thrusting before his mouth clasps around your clit, sucking at it furiously. Insistently.

“Ah, fuck, right there—” you begin to keen, and Eren knows you’re not performing for the camera. Neither of you cares at this point, even when two cameramen are moving around the room, trying to get close-up shots of your actions.

One hand reaches to play with your nipple while the other presses your belly down, forcing your hips to tilt upward to his demanding mouth. “So good,” you sob out, almost in the same way as you did when you felt him penetrating you for the first time. That fucking piercing on his tongue works like magic. The small metal ball adds pressure, teasing you more than his tongue did, bringing a new sensation that feels unmatched. “Suck on my clit again, Ren, please…”

Eren moans against your skin. That nickname you gave him, the way you say it—so breathy and needy—God, this feels like a fucking dream.

Say it again, he begs in his mind. Say my name again. Say it like you own me. Like you can’t live without me. I want you to make me feel like I belong to you and no one else.

Your hand falls on his head, desperation clear in your clutching touch. “Ah, Ren, baby, you’re gonna make me cum.” Every whine, every whimper, and every plea makes his cock twitch inside his jeans. Your hips rock against his face as your hand holds him tighter, your fingers tangled in his strands and messing up his bun. Before long, you find yourself climaxing, rubbing your slick all over his face, body writhing and shaking in rapture.

He’s only started and you’re already this wrecked. “Oh my God,” you pant, throwing your head back as a shot of oxytocin courses through your veins and drowns you in bliss. “Holy shit, that was so intense. I don’t think I’ve ever—” Suddenly, the boy pulls away, coughing fervently until his eyes start to water. You panic, propping yourself up with your elbows. “What? What happened?”

“I just choked on my own spit,” he answers, jumping down the bed.

Hange, cackling, asks him a question. “Want me to get you some water, buddy?”

He tries to croak out his answer between coughs, “Yes, please.”

It’s ridiculous, so ridiculous that you find yourself guffawing. Never, not once, did you ever experience something as stupid as choking on one’s own spit during oral sex in your four years of working as a pornstar. But this is what makes it feel like it’s less of a scene, and more like reality. The reality where you are his girlfriend, and he’s just a lover who’s trying his best to please you, changing from sexy to cringe in a matter of seconds.

Eren, after gulping down nearly half a bottle of mineral water by himself, offers you the same drink. “Do you want some?”

“Yeah, I want some.” And you sit on your heels on the bed, taking a sip before he takes it away from your hand and shucks away your shirt.

“This is hilarious,” Hange comments from the other side of the room. “The fact that you guys just casually stop to take a drink.”

“What, pornstars aren’t allowed to be thirsty?” Eren simply replies. “When we have people thirsting over us every day? That’s not fair.”

“How are you both witty and ridiculous at the same time?” You giggle at him. “Honestly, though? I think you being dumb is what makes you so much more attractive to me.”

He scrunches up his nose. “Seems like you have a bimbo kink.”

“Are you a bimbo?”

“I don’t like the word bimbo. Too offensive.”

“Himbo then?”

“Yeah, I like that.” For a moment, you’re both laughing lightly into the kiss until he muffles the mirth in your voice with his lips, reminding you that he’s here not just to make you laugh. Your bodies topple down to the bed, hips grinding against one another.

“You’re going down on me again?” You ask him when you see him mapping his way down your body.

“What, you’re protesting?” Eren returns to his favorite spot, his tongue moving lazily, lapping up your juices. “After you cummed on me so fast?” he simpers, dragging his lips to nibble on the inside of your thigh, marking his territory. “I think you can do it again.”

“Well,” you chuckle, supporting yourself on your elbows to witness the little devilish smirk that graces his lips. “With that pretty mouth of yours, I definitely will.”

“Let’s do it again, then.”

“Wait—ah!" Not listening to you, Eren pushes his face forward until he has the tip of his nose grazing your clit, his tongue delving further inside your entrance. “As much as I’d love to—” you flinch, your body hypersensitive to every flick of his tongue now that you just came. “–do it again. I want you in me, Ren.”

“Then cum again and you can have me.”

“I didn’t realize you could be—” Your head falls back to the bed, your body arching. “This stubborn.”

“Well, it’s about time you know me better.” Without warning, Eren flips your positions until you find yourself straddling his face. “Use me,” he says, peering up your body. “Ride my mouth until you cum.”

Your stomach flips at his words but you try to showcase a grin. “Is that a request or an order, Daddy?”

“An order,” he answers, voice deep and serious enough that it almost sounds like a warning. Your grin falters away. There’s no joviality building in your chest right now. Only lust.

Grasping his head with one hand and bracing yourself against the bed with the other, you roll your hips so that your clit grinds against his tongue and lips. You can hear—no, feel his moan reverberating against your skin. His eyes almost fall shut but he doesn’t want to miss a second of your expression, the way your jaw hangs loose on your face as you’re burned by desire, the dangerous glint in your eyes. Fucking beautiful, he praises, his lips too busy working on something else to form the words.

Eren seizes your ass cheeks and helps you move, pressing you down and letting you know he could take your weight. You abandon all control, your hips rocking like a stripper performing a lap dance on his face. Eren gives you a playful smack on your ass, making you giggle as you squeal, “Ah, Daddy!”

“You like that?” He places one hand on your breast, massaging it firmly.

“Mm-hmm.” You bite seductively at your lip, your little grin is both juvenile and indecent. “I love everything you do to me.” Standing on your knees, you rock your hips frantically, mewling every time you feel his nose rubbing against your clit. “God, your tongue feels so good.” Your wanton moans send more blood pounding through his cock, and Eren sinks his nails into the supple flesh of your thighs.

Orgasm steals your breath again, enough to make you feel like all bones in your body have turned to dust. Eren would love to just remain still and drink the essence that seeps out of you but you’re past your limit.

“I want you in me,” you say, and just like him, it isn’t a request. It’s an order. “Now.”

You both rise on the bed, knees pressed against the sheets as you hurriedly unbutton his shirt, pushing the material off his shoulders and letting him cast away the rest of his clothing. Once there is no fabric separating your skins, you pull him down to the bed, winding your arms around his neck and spreading your legs to welcome him before you hook them around his waist.

“You’re so fucking warm,” he breathes out heavily against your mouth. The little noises you elicit burn through him, making him claim your mouth harder. The obscene slide of his tongue sends a current of desire through you that culminates in a raw, moist heat between your legs.

“You’re not even inside me yet,” you giggle, lifting your hips to grind against his hardness. “Fuck, you feel even bigger than you look.”

He smirks. “I’m not even inside you yet.”

This dynamic—all this flirting and playful banter you have with him, you can’t find it with anyone else. Maybe that’s why this feels so different. That’s why it feels so good. Because you’re having fun. Truly.

“Think you’re wet enough for me to just slide in?” Eren asks, eyes stitched together in concern. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

Funny how you asked that, you ponder. Because as pornstars, there are a lot of things—something much worse—that can happen besides sliding in a dry cock and you both know, you’ve been through that. “Well, just to be safe,” you mirror his little smirk from before, squeezing his ass before you smack it with your palm. “Come up, big boy.”

Keeping your back pressed against the sheets, you apply wet kisses on his chest and his stomach as Eren rises up to his knees. Placing one hand against the wall behind your headboard, he uses his other one to guide his cock to your lips. You part them wide and close them around his tip, elevating your head just enough to take him all the way to the base.

“Shit,” he curses hoarsely, now settling both hands on the wall. “Can I fuck your mouth?”

You let his cock slide out of you with a pop. “Please.”

So he drives himself back in, choking you with the sudden thrust but it’s not something you can’t handle. You let him do what he wants with you, his fingers curling tight against the edge of the headboard, the hard muscles in his biceps contracting every time he plunges himself deeper inside your cavern.

“Fuck, look at you, Princess,” he pants, eyebrows furrowing deep as he witnesses the way you're swallowing around his dick, your cheeks hollowing as you suck him hard. “Taking my cock like that—you’re perfect.” He slows down his pace but adds a little more force to his thrust to punctuate his words. “So. Fucking. Perfect.” No one has ever called you Princess in bed before, and you’ve never heard him calling his co-star with that pet name either. It’s stupid how it makes you feel different, makes you feel special, but then again, all he’s been trying to do from the start is make you feel special, isn’t it?

With you sucking him as hard as you can, Eren whimpers, his hand shifting down to push back your bangs from your temple, stopping you at once. “Wait,” he says, chest heaving up and down. “You’re gonna make me cum if you do that.”

You take him in your hand, giving a few lazy pumps as you allow him to catch his breath. “And is it so bad…” You pause to kiss his mushroom head, never keeping your eyes away from his. “For you to do that?” You dip your tongue against his slit before you engulf him whole again. “I’m not sure about you, but I’ve been thinking about having your taste in my mouth.”

He shivers, his grip around your hair tightens. At this rate, he really is going to cum. “Fuck, stop, I can’t—” He breaks away, returning to his previous position, right between your legs. “I need to cum inside you,” he says, rubbing the underside of his cock against your clit. “I won’t be satisfied otherwise.”

“Well, let’s satisfy you then.”

Eren pushes inside you, inch by scalding hot inch. You both moan at the friction, at the way he’s stretching you out, rubbing against your insides. To Eren, it feels like coming home. Because this is where he belongs, isn’t it? Shrouded by your warmth, with your lips forming his name against his ear.

“Gonna fuck you now,” he warns, but his hips already move before he can finish his sentence.

It starts out fast, even when Eren tries his best to move slowly. He just can’t help it. His sanity is deteriorating with every sinful rock of his hips. “Fuck, I never want this to end.”

“Me too,” you rasp, arousal straining your voice. “God, please don’t stop. I want you to fuck me good. Want you to fuck me like this for hours.”

And honestly? Eren wants that too. He doesn’t care if it’s not biologically possible. He’ll try to find a way to do it. “I’ll fuck you again and again,” he promises as he moves to stand on his knees, throwing both of your legs over his shoulders. “As long as you let me.” He holds your thighs, wrapping his arms around them to keep them pressed to his chest. He’s buried deep inside you, finding your sweet spot easily and proceeding to abuse them when he feels your walls clenching tightly around him. His hair tie turns looser and looser with each drive of his hips until eventually, it slips off his strands. Eren has his hair flowing down to his shoulders, long strands swaying in accordance with his thrust.

God, he’s so beautiful, you adore him inwardly. Eren looks exactly like how he did in his videos.

“Come here,” you beg, “I want to feel your lips on me, Ren.”

It’s such an odd request to be coming from a pornstar, especially from you who tend to avoid doing something this intimate during filming. But intimacy is what you want the most right now, and it’s one that he would love to give.

For two people who have done questionable things in bed for money and fame, you find something as plain as missionary to be the position that you both enjoy the most. He moans your name as you whimper his. Wrapping your legs around his back, you hold him tightly, forcing him into a slow, deep grind that has you both panting until the only sounds in the room are your fevered exhales and the soft shift of skin against skin. Eren slows down his pace, his mouth painting love bites on the side of your neck.

You cradle his head in your arms, carding your fingers through his silky hair. “I didn’t expect you to take things slow,” you murmur with a dazed smile, enjoying the way he’s rubbing your walls so deeply.

“I’ve been wanting to do this to you for a long time now. Let me have my moment.” His tongue prods past your parted lips, and you welcome the invasion with a helpless moan. He belongs inside you. His cock, his tongue, his fingers—every part of him fits every part of you, and you wonder how can you feel complete again once the filming is over, when he’s the one who completes you?

“Keep talking to me.” You meet each of his thrusts halfway. “We had to stay quiet the first time we had sex. Let me hear you. I want to hear your thoughts, Ren. Want to hear what you think of me.”

He’s taking your nipple inside his mouth, your breast fits perfectly in his palm. “You don’t want to get inside my head, Princess,” he tries to conceal his bashfulness with a chuckle. “It’s all dirty up there.”

“Then, talk dirty to me.” Your words cause him to lift his head, his hips momentarily stop as he meets your gaze. “Let me know your deepest secrets.” You twirl your finger around his silver necklace, gently tugging him forward until his lips hover above yours again. “Let me know how good I make you feel.” You dart out your tongue, licking a stripe from his chin to his upper lip before you whisper your next words. “Let me know just how hard you want to fuck me.”

“Fuck.” It flips the switch he doesn’t know he has inside him. “You want to hear my thoughts?” He growls back. “Why don’t I just show you instead?”

Eren turns feral. The slow dance of your hips switches completely into pure, animal fucking. He flips you over to your stomach, your legs bent at the knees and driven apart. He ceases to his knees between your legs, propping himself on his elbows and plastering his torso against your backside. “Let me show you pleasure,” he speaks breathily right beside your ear, “Let me show you pleasure you’ve never dreamed of.”

And he keeps his promise.

“Oh—God—” You’re clawing against the sheets, your vision turning white with how forceful he’s being. You’re on cloud nine, wailing when you feel his hands gripping tightly on your ass cheeks, spreading them apart so he can see the way his cock slides in and out of you. You know you won’t last long if he keeps doing this. A part of you wants to let go and reach your high, but he’s made you cummed twice and you haven’t succeeded in giving him one. “Eren, wait—” When he doesn’t, you start begging out of desperation, “Let me ride you—I want—” You try to rise on your elbows but Eren lands his hand on your nape, pinning you back to the sheets.

“In a minute,” he says, making you shudder when he snarls out the word. “I’m not finished with you yet.”

Truthfully, Eren would love to switch positions. He wants nothing more than to see your face when your orgasm wrecks you apart. But this… This is your favorite position, isn’t it? He recalls the first time you begged him to do it. He can tell by the way your insides constrict around him too. He hits you in the angle you truly crave, the spot that makes you see stars. Eren figures he can be selfish after he submerges you with ecstasy. Right now, he just wants to make you cum.

As if he wasn’t going hard enough before, he picks up the pace. “Fuck!” You cry out, your temple sliding against the sheets. “You’re gonna—ah—you’re gonna make me cum—”

He swaps the constant drive of his hips to three powerful thrusts that knock every bit of air in your lungs. “Then. Fucking. Cum.”

With your mouth parting in a silent scream, you claw against the bed, but Eren reaches forward to cover the back of your hand with his palm. “Christ, that’s it,” he groans, his fingers filling the spaces between yours before he curls around them. “Squeezing my cock so fucking tight, Goddamn.”

You’re leaking down your thighs, a little bit of spurt staining the sheets beneath you. His hips start to stutter as he feels the tremors that run through your body, shocked by your third orgasm that day. He lifts your face and angles it to the side, smashing your lips together. Your heart thrashes madly about inside your chest and, scarcely able to breathe, you gasp against his mouth. “You’re insane…”

“For making you cum three times?” He chuckles, panting hard as he showers your spine with butterfly kisses. “I love it. I love making you cum. You look so cute when you do.”

Somehow, his compliment burns your cheeks. Turning around, you push him onto his back with your feet before you mount yourself on his hips. “Think you can have all the fun, Daddy?” you say, taking him in one hand before you lower yourself on his cock. “My turn now.”

“Mmm, fuck.” His moans are heavenly in your ear. “How are you still so fucking tight after I fucked you like that?”

“Maybe you just aren’t as big as you think you are,” you tease.

“Fuck you,” he responds with only merriment in his voice.

“I am, aren’t I?” You giggle, half-abashed, but seductive nonetheless. “It feels like our first time, doesn’t it? Me, riding you like this.”

Eren is trapped under your gaze, just as much as he is under your spell. It does remind him of the way you were connected for the first time, and it reminds him of the words he wanted to say but couldn’t.

So he reaches up a hand, while you land yours on his chest as you bounce slowly on his lap, taking your time since your thighs still quiver from the aftershock of your orgasm. Eren tucks a lock of stray hair behind your ear before he cups your cheek, guiding you to bring your face lower to meet his. “You’re beautiful,” he says, eyes coated by affection. “You’ve always been. That’s what I’ve been wanting to tell you when we did it the first time—when we met for the first time. You’re the prettiest angel I’ve ever seen.”

His words warm your face but you don’t let it show. “Yeah,” you smile shyly in return. “I think you said that.”

“And I’ll say that ten times more because I meant it.”

You lean close until he can feel your breath skim over his lips. “Only ten times more?”

He laughs, so softly, so beautifully. “A gazillion times more.”

“Hmm, that’s more like it.”

You rest your body on top of him, lips melding into one before you straighten your back one more time and pick up the pace. Your hand slides up his chest, settling at the front of his throat. “Can I choke you?”

Eren smirks not at your question, but the way you asked for it—all wicked grin and eager eyes, wanting to see his submissive side after he dominated you like a beast. “You want to choke me?”

You bite your lip in that flirtatious way he loves, just to rile him up. “Mm-hmm.”

“I didn’t know you were into that.”

“I’m into anything.” You purposefully roll your hips slower, making sure that he feels every friction, every rub of his cock against your hot flesh. “Just trying to keep an open mind. And, you know, have fun.”

“Well then, go ahead.” Eren removes his hand from your hip, guiding your fingers to curl around his throat. “Choke me like I’m your fucking whore, baby.”

“Yeah?” Your smirk blooms wider. “You want it?”

“I want it.” Then he hisses, wincing in pain, your hand pressing against his windpipes. “Ah,” he moans lowly between deep chuckles. “You’re not holding back.”

“Do you want me to?” You tease, tightening your grip just a little bit harder. “I thought you liked it rough, Daddy.”

The mischief in his eyes wavers, but it has nothing to do with the way you’re almost blocking his airways. “Eren,” he corrects, one hand circling your wrist. “Call me Eren. I want you to call me by my name.”

You blink, not expecting him to plead such a request. You loosen your grip, your smirk vanishes without a trace, your gaze softening before you lean down and kiss him lightly on his lips. You appreciate his honesty and you reward him in the same way. You whisper your real name, quiet enough just for his ears to hear and his eyes to widen. “I want you to call me by my name too,” you say with a diffident smile, your face aflame. “No more pretending. It’s just you and me now.”

Happiness expands within him. Stroking your cheek with his thumb, he looks up at you with loving eyes. “Just you and me.”

Once your mouths collide, the affection he holds for you adds fuel to your already blazing flame and you snap your hips ruthlessly, driving you both over to the edge. But unlike him, your stamina is draining fast from how much you’ve climaxed today.

“Let me help,” he offers, sliding his hands up your thighs. “Lean back, Princess.”

Delicate and beautiful, you open yourself to him. Still lying on his back, Eren opens his legs apart. You sit on his cock, facing him while spreading your legs as wide as you can. You place your hands between his legs to support your weight. Eren holds you by settling his hands just above your knees and he propels his hips upward, driving his length into you repeatedly. Your breasts bounce, your lip bit and bruised by your own teeth. He can see everything, the way your cunt is sucking him in, the way he stretches you out. You’re so exposed, leaving barely any room for his imagination to wander and he can’t take it anymore.

“I’m about to cum,” he says, and for the first time in what feels like hours, his voice turned a bit high-pitched. “Ah, God, baby—” He whines, his hips losing rhythm. “Can you make yourself squirt for me? Please—ngh—I want to see you squirt when I cum—”

The desperation in his voice makes you want to succumb to him harder than you’ve ever done for any man. Shoving your fingers inside your mouth to lubricate them, you move them down to rub your pads against your clit. Eren watches with unblinking eyes, fucking you faster to match your pace. “Shit—Shit, Ren—it feels so good—”

“Yeah?” He grunts. “Give it to me, Engel. Squirt on me, come on.”

And when you do, he shoots all his seeds inside you. His hips thrust up hard enough to make you lose your balance but he catches you just in time, rising up from the bed to wrap an arm around your waist. Your juice drenches his abdomen, filling the deep of his v-lines before it trickles down to the sheets. You can feel his member throbs and spasms inside you, emptying everything inside and holding your body close until you find it near impossible to breathe. “Ah… Fuck, baby…” He sighs out in ecstasy, speaking the words against your shoulder before he grants you a lingering kiss on the same spot. “So good, you’re so good…”

“Yeah…” You reciprocate with a small, breathless giggle. “Felt amazing, Ren…”

You swat his messy hair away from his face, wanting to see the serenity that sketches his eyes. He looks beautiful before, but he’s ethereal like this. Absolutely spent and drowning in bliss. You brush your lips against his forehead, wondering if it’s too intimate when you break away but Eren has this adoring, drowsy smile on his face and he returns the favor with a cute kiss on your nose.

“I think I came a lot,” he murmurs, slurring out his words like a drunken man before his deep chuckle follows.

“It’s only fair. I just came all over your abs.”

“That’s hot. Can I do one more thing, though?”

“Huh?” Your confusion is followed quickly by a surprised yelp when Eren tosses himself back on the bed and yanks you forward by your legs. You’re sitting on his chest again, only this time, you have your feet plastered against the sheets instead of standing on your knees. Eren keeps your thighs apart, watching the way his semen is mixed with your slick, his hazy eyes drooping at the way it dribbles down to his chest. “I guess we both came so much, huh…”

“Eren—” You’re being tugged forward again before you can finish. “Ah, wait—”

Eren has his mouth pressed hotly against your heat, lips separated wide enough to almost cover you from your clit to your entrance. Body convulsing at the sensation, your heart pulsates fast at the thought of him eating both of your cum directly from your cunt. “Fuck—” You’re pulling on his roots, feeling overstimulated as you’re practically squatting on his face. “You’re gonna make me squirt again—”

“Then do it,” he husks, half-lidded eyes watching you closely. “Don’t hold back. I wanna taste it.” He moves down to lap at your wetness. “Wanna taste all of it. I’ll lick you clean this time.” And when he sucks on your clit, abusing it till it’s swollen, all the knots inside your stomach loosen at once. You quiver at the intense release, muscles tautening before they unwind with a content sigh. Clear liquid gushes out of you, spraying some droplets to his face while the rest drips right inside his mouth. “Mmph…” Eren breathes heavily through his nose, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down as he wolfs down everything you give him.

“Eren—Eren, wait—” You try to stop him by tweaking his hair but instead of halting his movements, it encourages him to go harder. Grabbing your thighs, he pulls them forward, raising your legs in the air and holding them still by clutching his hands against the back of your knees. You fall back, your spine falling to his chest as Eren lifts his head, trying to get every bit of you by licking, sucking, and swallowing around your heat. “Fuck, fuck, fuck—” Your thighs threaten to close tightly around his head but he keeps them spread apart. He does it for a few seconds more until your body stops shaking.

He ends his ministrations with a gentle peck on your clit and a few light kisses on your thigh. His head falls back to the bed with a satisfied sigh, keeping his hands on your stretched-out legs. You’re too weak to move, resting your entire weight on his body.

“You okay?” Eren asks and you stare dazedly at the ceiling.

“Yeah, just… Completely, and utterly fucked out.”

Small peals of laughter fill the air. Carefully, Eren shifts around until he has your body laid down on the bed, with him snuggling close beside you. Before you rest your head on his chest, you notice the stain on the corner of his mouth. “You still have a little bit of my, uhh…” You press your thumb against it, trying to wipe it off. For some reason, Eren feels giddy with the way you’re babying him, chuckling before he closes his lips around your thumb, gently rolling your finger between his teeth. He’s so sexy, it’s ridiculous, you muse, unable to keep your eyes off him.

Your chemistry with him is unlike any other and you both feel it too. Eren whispers something naughty in German, and you lightly slap a hand across his chest before your lips meet again in a playful kiss.

“Round two?” You question, one corner of your mouth quirking up.

“Round two.” He rubs your noses together, grinning from ear to ear. “And three, and four, and five.”

“You want to spoon me this time?”

“I’d love to, Princess.”

“Ehem!” Hange exaggeratedly clears her throat, snapping you both to reality.

“Fuck!” Eren curses in surprise. “I forgot you’re here!”

“Yeah, clearly.” She rolls her eyes, but there’s nothing but a cheeky grin written on her lips. Moblit is sitting beside her with his face flushed, glancing at the bed every now and then but unable to keep his eyes on the way Eren’s hips are pressing against yours. “I see you guys are having fun,” Hange comments, fixing her glasses.

“Ugh, terrible,” you groan dramatically, “Worst sex I’ve ever had.”

“Yeah,” Eren echoes to the camera. “I want a refund.”

You act more like a couple than couples do, Hange would say, and she’s so satisfied with the result, knowing your audience would feel it too when they watch your video.

Now that the filming has ended, both you and Eren are given time to clean yourselves up. You part ways with him with a light kiss that lingers longer than it’s supposed to. About an hour later, you both meet again in the same room, all dressed up in your previous clothes, your bodies fresh from the shower, and your make-up fixed. Eren takes your hand and guides you to take a seat next to him on the edge of the bed. The way he laces your fingers together feels so natural that you wish you never had to let go.

You both face the camera as Hange asks you some questions for your final interview. You talk about the experience you shared with him today, how amazing it feels, and how everything exceeds your expectation—no, it surpasses even your wildest dream.

“How about you, Mr. Aiden Wolff?” Hange turns to your co-star. “How are you feeling?”

Eren’s about to answer her when he catches you knitting your eyebrows together in confusion. “Aiden Wolff?” You ask him.

“Yeah, that’s my stage name.”

Stage name? Your frown only turns deeper. You swore, he went with the name Jaeger on his PornHub channel. Or maybe that’s another channel of his? Does he have a few different stage names? That doesn’t make any sense.

You’re so distraught by your own thoughts that you don’t hear him answering Hange’s question. It’s when your interviewer moves on to another query that you decide to push away your thoughts for now.

“Would you say this is the best sex you’ve ever had?” she asks and you both turn to each other. There’s a faint blush on his cheeks, and you know his answer is the same as yours. “Yeah,” you both answer sheepishly at the same time.

“Ugh, gross,” Hange snorts, before the three of you laugh.

“Honestly, I would love to do this with you again sometimes,” you tell him, giving his hand a little squeeze.

Eren brings your tangled fingers to his face, his lips dancing across your knuckles when he answers, “I would never say no to that.”

“Hey, here’s a wild idea,” Hange chimes in. “Maybe your brother can join you next time. I bet people would love to see a threesome with you guys.”

“Your brother?” You incline your head to the side, puzzled. “I didn’t know Zeke was an actor too.”

“No, she, uhh—” Eren suddenly turns tense, his eyes darkening. “She’s talking about my twin.”

You gape. “You have a twin?”

“You didn’t know?” Now, he’s the one who seems confused. “Weird. I thought everybody must have known him by now. I mean, he’s way more popular than me. Jaeger on PornHub? Never heard of that?”

At the mention of his channel, your blood runs cold. You hold your breath. All this time, you thought you’d been watching him—Eren—on the screen. When your voice returns, you feel like someone is carving scars on your throat. “I—” The words I thought that was you almost came out but you’re glad you caught yourself just in time. How would Eren feel if he finds out that you’ve been watching his brother’s videos and touching yourself to them? “I’ve never heard of him,” you lie, and it’s not even slightly convincing.

“Well,” Hange joins in, trying to break the tension. “If the fans keep asking about it, I’m sure there will be an opportunity where you and Kruger can get… acquainted.” She ends it with a teasing laugh but none of you repay the same way. Eren is still watching you with his jaws clenched tight, while you keep your eyes fixated on your lap. You detach your hand away from his, fingers crumpling into fists as you rest them on your thighs.

You try to keep your smile intact for the rest of the interview, but as soon as the camera goes off, and the crews leave the room to end the filming with a few drinks, you turn reticent.

“Hey, you okay?” Eren asks, staying where he is instead of following after Hange. “You seem awfully quiet.”

“Ah, yeah, I’m just—” You force out a laugh. “I guess I’m just tired.”

Eren doesn’t buy it, not even for a second. He knows exactly when your expression started to change, and it was at the mention of his brother’s name. He may not be the brightest person in the room, but he’s quick at putting all the pieces together.

Clearly, you didn’t know Eren’s channel even existed. You didn’t know he existed, as you seemed baffled when you heard his stage name: Aiden Wolff. True, Eren’s only been doing mediocre porn movies, which is why it shocked him when Petra gave the news that you wanted to work with him, knowing you’re much more popular than he is. But it turned out, you wanted to work with Kruger, not him. When you told him you watched his videos, you watched his. When you said you touched yourself to the thoughts of him, you were thinking about him. All these years, you had been wanting Kruger instead of him, or at least your body did. Eren just happened to own the same face.

The feeling of joy, one that was intense enough to suffocate him with it just a few moments ago when he learned that you had been obsessing over his videos just as much as he had with yours, suddenly turned sickening.

“Are you disappointed?” Eren asks quietly, his self-esteem shattering by the second. “Knowing that I’m not him?”

Your heart plummets to your stomach. All of these emotions and feelings are churning inside your chest, but you’re certain that disappointment isn’t one of them. “Eren…” You reach out to take a hold of his hand. “I’m—”

Your phone rings, vibrating inside the pocket of your jeans. You both freeze at the sound, bodies turning rigid.

After three seconds have passed, Eren retracts his hand away. “You should take it,” he says, returning to his feet. “I’m gonna go meet Hange. We can talk later.”

The sudden change in his demeanor leaves you with no opportunity for you to vocalize your thoughts, at least not right now. “Okay…”

And he walks away without dropping a word nor a glance, only an anchor to your chest and shackles around your feet. Sighing, you snatch the phone from your pocket, noticing that it was your manager, Hitch, who’s been calling you persistently. “Hello?”

“Oh, thank God, you picked up!” She breathes out in relief. “Babe, you are so gonna love me for this. I just booked you the biggest job of your life!”

“What?”

“You remember how you used to pester me about landing you a gig with that guy from the Stardom Agency? Jaeger on PornHub?” Your breathing stops at once, your eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. “Well, guess what? I just got a call, and they said they’re looking for a girl to shoot a threesome video with him and his twin. How fantastic is that?!”

It’s not funny. It’s cruel and heartless for fate to play a trick on you like this—right at this moment when you just found out about the truth.

“Babe?” Hitch’s voice rings again. “You there? Did you hear what I said?”

“I heard you.” Your tongue lays heavily inside your mouth, and it tastes like poison. True, it’s something that you’ve been wishing to happen for years, but what the fuck are you supposed to do now?

Before you can answer her, the door creaks open. Eren, with one hand around the doorknob and another one gripping his phone, watches you with horror slowly making its way to his eyes. “I just got a text from my manager,” he says, and your skin crawls with dread.

No. Don’t say it.

“Kruger wants to work with us.”

***

AN:

Hi, everyone! Thank you for reading BI chapter 2 ❤️ My job here is done, Sandra will be taking over from here and write the next two chapters (which will be SUPER HAWT). Please follow and keep an eye on her blog @smfics 'cause we'll be posting the next two chapters over there ❤️

Tagging:

@l6ffys @vivi-et @halparkebitch @fwess @littlemochi @thebeardedmoon @didiyogo @coyloves @erenbean @tehehebri @justasketch @infnteen @naiomiwinchester @spiderlingh @doyochii @ahornyenby @aengelren @sakurashell @princess-jaeger @resonancesoul @blrqt @cacapeepee @persyhange @jaegersdiary @erentoes @trashgremlin36 @meed18 @j0livi0ni @snowflake-201 @jaymihawk @eva-gates @claudevonstrukesblog @sofijaeger @rinsie @blanccofiie @ereninbunu @natanialora @khinjito @ackersune @watermelon-online @tropicsoda @damselofblueroses @alexackrman @bblgumz @jurrasicpork @erenjaegercult @holycandypizza thank you for reading, lovelies!

[ficsforeren-tags]

Additional Taglist:

@sadtrains @somethingstranges-blog @katykat71114 @ashleighclark98 @doveblackboat

@reddidh @thedegenerateducky @loveeren @erenswife5 @rosietoesy

@xamex9 @wycliffx @calidarr9 @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @juicybuns

@silenthearts @sushiimara @yagamiryuk01 @iman-ismaillee @80s-outsiders

@itsantisocialratworld @piecksarmrest @saoirse-grace @lesfiori @nananira

@kurooosbitch @ladysierra117 @foodismylife @amber-ry @cryingchild83

@svcksa @utxkokonutx @miss-taura @ashleighclark98 @calidarr9 

@dezibou @jealousfuckingcunt @simpywriter @megumiyyyy @mistymuichirou

@jazverse @nikusiaw @kanimet @loveeren @lil6uapa

@gardenofeve @midsummer-moon0 @gw-exoticbutter @quitbeingawhore @yeagerfushiguro

Our Little Secret - Chapter 5

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Eren Jaeger X Female Reader

Genre: College AU, Spider-Man/Spider-Girl AU, Fluff, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Eventual Smut

Series Summary: Eren Jaeger, a 21-year-old virgin college student who loves his camera a little bit too much, has a crush on you. Every night, he switches on his camera and talks about you but he never could find the courage to speak to you in real life. Strangely enough, he finds it easy for him to befriend Spider-Girl, the crime fighting vigilante, not knowing that you both share the same identity.

Chapter Summary: Due to some miracle, Eren finally gets to go on a date with you, and you look so pretty, so cute, he doesn't know if he can survive the night without drooling all over his shirt. He doesn't know that you're Spider-Girl, the same woman he's been spending so many wonderful hours together. You want him to find out about it, but at the same time, you know it's wiser not to say a word. But when one thing leads to another... Can you really keep yourself silent?

Content Warnings: explicit sex scene (happens at the end of the series, can be skipped if you want), swearing, mentions of characters going through depression, traumatic past events

Word Count: 10k

Poster art by the most talented @rainbuniart on Twitter

The Coffee Club. 8 PM. 

My first date ever.

The last time Eren ever felt this excited in his life was when his brother Zeke accidentally left his credit card on the coffee table. It was the best day of his twenty years of living, truly. Eren spent five hundred bucks to get himself a geometric wolf tattoo on his left forearm, and a full black tribal band tattoo on his right bicep. He wasted a few hundred more just to be a dick and get back at his brother for catching his private session on camera.

When Eren came home later that night with the biggest wicked grin and a shopping bag practically the size of his fridge, Zeke swore that from that day on, they were no longer brothers. “Oh no, I’m going to cry,” Eren faked a pout and a whine, going as far as puffing out his cheeks and pushing out his lower lip, but when he slapped back his credit card to his brother’s chest, Eren tossed him a demonic smirk. “Fine with me, Monke.” Zeke tried his very best to ignore his baby brother for, at least, a month. But only two days had passed and he came barging into his brother’s bedroom, hugged him from behind—causing Eren’s character on screen to get shot by this jackass named Noobmaster 92 (fuck you, Noobmaster92)—and cried out, “Please tell me you still love me! PLEASE TELL ME YOU STILL LOVE ME, EREN!”

So, yeah, that happened. Wait, what were we talking about again?

Oh, right! The date!

Eren has fantasized about going on a date with you ever since he got his first wet dream (he got it pretty early when he was still, like, twelve—probably because he kept stealing Zeke’s hentai mangas and read them in secret). At that time, the only female he had ever interacted with so intensely in real life was the little girl he met during his stay at the hospital (a.k.a you). Eren knew he had a crush on you from the start. He just didn’t know that he was down for you so bad that you began to take form in his dreams too. 

To be honest, if he could select the girl he was going to have sex with in his dream as easily as he picked a character in his favorite game, he wouldn’t have chosen you. Of course, he would love to see himself, for the lack of a better word, fucking you in his dreams. Hell, maybe God would be kind and He would let you motorboat your tits too. But his dreams are filthy. Even filthier than his wildest imaginations and that’s saying something. And you don’t deserve to be treated like a prostitute or a sex doll. You’re a princess in his eyes—a goddess even, and that’s why you need to be worshiped. He wants to make love to you, not just to fuck your brains out in the nearest alley. Fucking is for bunnies. Or Muffin and that ugly pug that keeps trying to get inside his backyard just to get a quick hump. Eren isn’t like them. Eren is—

Damn it, we keep getting sidetracked. 

So, about his date.

Eren has his thumb between his lips, teeth grinding against his nail as he sits on the bench that stands right across from the coffee shop where you’re supposed to be meeting him soon. He takes a glance at his phone screen, a smile naturally graces his lips when he sees his wallpaper—your pretty eyes looking like the most beautiful pair of crescents, your lips pulled back in the cutest grin. He notices that he’s an hour early (poor boy is too excited for his date), and that means he has to wait for another hour with his leg bouncing restlessly against the concrete, his nose turning a shade redder every time the night breeze kisses his cheeks. Spring is about to come to an end in a few more weeks, and yet here he is, still shivering like a baby deer.

He’s okay with being cold, he just doesn’t like it when the wind blows too hard because my Lord Jesus, I love you, but I spent literally an hour of my life trying to style my hair like this, so can you take it easy with the wind tonight, please? Thanks. It’s really nothing special, actually. He just tied his hair up like usual but instead of sporting that messy man-bun because he didn’t care, he’s going with the stylishly messy man-bun, as in he spent an hour in front of his bathroom mirror trying to trim and comb his hair here and there to make it seem like it already looks that good even without him doing anything. He had to watch a thirty-minute-long tutorial video called “How to Get a Man Bun like Jungkook from BTS” on YouTube to get his hair done right. 

He’s dressed in a pair of dark wash jeans, a slim-fit white sweater, a nice jacket to keep him warm, and a great pair of boots instead of his usual sneakers to showcase effort. Eren still low-key thinks that he should’ve worn his suit but then again, he doesn’t want to seem too overdressed.

He’s brought you some flowers, a whole-ass bouquet called Grape Bubblegum, full of sweet colors and matches—the most playful type of bouquet, they said. The florist told him, “Judging from your story, I can tell she’s a very energetic person so I believe this one suits her best. I can guarantee that she's going to have the biggest smile on her face when you give this to her. That’s the best way to start your romantic journey together, don’t you agree?” It’s most likely bullshit—just another one of her marketing scams—but Eren snapped his fingers in the air, shouting, “Bitch, I’m sold. Take my fucking money.” Of course, he didn’t actually curse. Eren would never do that to older people. To his three years older brother Zeke? Sure, yeah, definitely. But to a sweet, sweet old woman who looked like she needed to settle in a retirement home for good? Nope.

Of course, Grape Bubblegum doesn’t look as playful and beautiful anymore when some jackass—who probably weighed a hundred pounds more than he was—accidentally sat on it on the bus. Never in his life had Eren ever felt like he was about to commit genocide from the amount of rage burning in his chest, but at that time, he really did. But no, instead of lashing out, he just said, “Dude, get off my flowers!” The two pink roses—which are supposed to be the highlight of Grape Bubblegum—are ruined but Eren continues to hold the bouquet close to his chest, not knowing what else to do since he hasn’t prepared another gift for you. 

Should I run to the nearest store and grab some chocolates for her? He thinks, biting harder against his nail with his eyes glaring at his dark combat boots. No, that would make me look like I'm being half-assed about it. God, that’s the last thing I wanna do—to look like I’m—

“Hey, you’re early.”

“—BEING HALF-ASSED!” Eren jumps from his seat, his mouth spouting the last line that runs through his head as he’s shocked by the sight of you standing not a meter away from him. You’re just as surprised, taking a step back in reflex to avoid his head bumping against your chin. 

“Sorry,” you say, raising both hands in the air to calm him down. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”

Eren didn’t catch a single second of sleep last night trying to come up with the right words to say upon your first meeting. He has prepared a whole speech, something that goes along the line of: “Hey, you came. You look so beautiful. Is that a new dress? Looks pretty on you. Me? No, I just got here. Oh, right, almost forgot, I bought you some flowers. No, it’s okay, it’s nothing. My aunt is a florist so it really wasn’t a big deal. I just hope you’ll like them. You do? You love them? Oh, thank God. I was really nervous about this whole date. Yesterday was a mess and I don’t want to repeat that mistake again. Why am I going this far for a first date, you ask? Well… Isn’t it obvious? I really like you. You’re the most wonderful thing I’ve ever seen in my life. I adore you with all my heart. Everything you do drives me insane and I just hope you’ll give me the chance to be closer to you. To understand you better. And to make you feel… my love.”

Okay, maybe it was a bit too much for a greeting—and corny too, probably, but if Adele could sing that line in a song, why can’t he say it to the girl who owns his heart? Nevertheless, it would still be a thousand times better than him spitting on your face—almost literally—while shouting, “BEING HALF-ASSED!”

“What did you mean about being half-assed?” And you had to ask about it too. Great. You could’ve just let him go, saved his poor soul by pretending like you didn’t hear him. But no, you just had to humiliate him even further this way. Because that’s where you find your enjoyment, isn’t it?

Eren, as he tries his best to stop himself from lying down on the pavement—crying his heart out—offers the bouquet to you with a pout and his shoulders sagging forward. You blink twice, a bit stunned as you’ve never received flowers on a first date before. You thought it was going to be a casual date—just two friends hanging out, trading coquettish smiles and flirty banter over a cup of coffee. But no, apparently for Eren, this is serious.

“Some fat guy sat on them when I was on the bus,” Eren murmurs with his chin tucked, his invisible puppy ears going down. “I’m sorry. I wanted to buy you something else but I was afraid I wasn’t going to make it on time for our date. I thought about getting you chocolates from the store, but I didn’t want to seem like I was being—"

“Half-assed about it,” you finish, accepting the flowers from his hands. Happiness glows inside you. He doesn’t need to bring you flowers to make you smile. Just seeing him like this, with his blush painting his cheeks and a pout growing prominent on his face, this is enough. “Thank you. You really didn’t have to bring me anything. I already feel so happy knowing that you put that much thought into it. I’m sorry I didn’t bring you anything.”

“Oh, no, it’s fine.”

“Is there anything I could do for you?” You offer him a benign smile. “Is there anything you want me to do?”

Eren swallows, his mind coming up with a thousand different answers at once. Of course, he has something he wants you to do for him. He has a lot of things he wants you to do, to him, for him, and with him. But one thought stands more vividly than the rest, especially when he rakes his eyes over your appearance. You’re wearing a soft pink trench coat above your black skirt and chiffon blouse, and a pair of boots that accentuate your legs. On top of your hair is a beanie—the cutest one he’s ever seen—to keep yourself warm, and a patterned navy blue scarf to protect your neck from the night wind. You look like you’re walking out of a romantic movie, a true heroine of a beautiful love story.

 “Can I, umm…” He tightens his grip around the strap of his bag that’s hanging on one shoulder. “Can I take your picture? I-if you don’t mind.”

“You mean right now?” You look around to take a quick scan of your surroundings. A few people are walking down the pavements, mostly young couples sharing giggles between conversations as they hold each other’s hands. 

Eren notices how you seem a bit uncomfortable by the thought of striking poses in public. “You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to,” he hastily adds.

“No, it’s okay,” you say, smoothening down your skirt. You move closer to the streetlamp to get better lighting, standing a bit awkwardly as you hold his flower tightly in your hands. “Like this? Let me know if I look weird, okay?”

“You’re beautiful,” he says without even giving a second for his brain to digest your words. Retrieving his DSLR camera from his bag, he takes off his lens cover and offers you a sheepish smile. “You’ll always look beautiful to me, no matter what you do. You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen in my life.”

“That’s…” You can already feel your heart pounding like a drum and your date just started literally seven minutes ago. “That’s too much, but thank you.”

Seeing how your usually confident self is turning diffident, Eren feels his cheeks getting warmer. Ah, she’s so cute, he wants to shout it to the world. “I will, umm,” he clears her throat, bringing his camera closer to his face. “I will just—“

“Yeah, just take it.”

It feels so awkward having him take pictures of you on the street like this as you are more accustomed to striking poses while keeping your identity hidden underneath your Spider-Girl costume. You feel bare and exposed, feeling how intense his gaze is even from behind his camera. After a few clicks, Eren brings his device down, taking a quick look at the photos.

“Do they come out nice?” You ask him.

“Yes.” He seems immensely pleased, looking like he just had his wish granted after years of waiting, which in a way, is true. “You look perfect.”

Ignoring the way your stomach somersault from his comment, you take a stride toward him. “It’s not fair if I’m the only one who gets photographed over here.” Eren watches you take out your phone from your coat pocket. “Can I? To commemorate our first date.”

 Eren, realizing what you’re planning to do, nods shakily. “S-sure.” Never in his life had he thought he would have the chance to take a selfie together with you but there he is, standing close enough for him to get a waft of your shampoo. 

“Maybe it’s better if you hold it since you’re taller than me,” you say and he nods again. His words have left him for good. Your scent’s too intoxicating for him to think.

Taking a hold of your phone, he bends down a little to fit his face right next to yours in the frame. “Okay, uhh, on three,” he says, sounding noticeably nervous and you refrain yourself from giggling. “One, two…” He taps his thumb twice on your phone’s screen before he hands it back to you. You take a look at them together, with Eren, who’s standing close behind you, grimacing right away at the sight. “Ugh, I look so weird.”

“No, you’re cute,” you correct him, turning his body stiff when you suddenly look up at him. The proximity you’re in is the closest you’ve ever been to him, and while you do feel your heartbeat escalating just a tad faster, Eren’s is soaring through the roof. “You’re the cutest boy I’ve ever taken a selfie with. Thank you, Eren.” 

“Umm, yeah…” You can see his eyes drift down to your lips before he averts his gaze. “Y-you’re welcome.”

“Is it okay if we take another one?”

She’s planning to kill me, she really is. “Sure.”

Eren is somewhat right because you do have a plan, not to kill him, just… tease him a little bit. “Ready? One, two…” Right as he clicks the shutter button on your screen, you stand on your toes and plant a kiss on his cheek. Eren’s eyes widen in surprise, the camera catches a picture of it. Your phone nearly slips out of his grip when he backs away from you, face flushed. “What—why—did you just—” he stammers, his thoughts scattering all over the place.

Giggling, you snatch back your phone from his hand, going through your gallery. “Hey, it looks perfect!” You chirp gleefully while Eren is still trying to collect himself. You hook a hand around his arm, tugging him close until his shoulder bumps against yours. “Don’t we look cute together?” You show him the picture of you looking like nothing but a pair of lovers with scarlet cheeks and an innocent kiss. Eren is blushing hard enough for his ears to buzz. He still can’t believe this is happening. “Do you want me to send the pictures to you?”

He gives three little timid nods. “Y-yes, please.”

Cute, cute, cute, cute, he’s so cute. “Okay, done. Now we can have matching wallpapers if you want.”

Fourteen minutes into the date and this is already the best thing that’s ever happened in his life. 

As he places back his camera into his bag, You take a moment to breathe in the scent of roses and lavender from the bouquet he’s given you. You have the most radiant, expressive smile breaking on your lips as you close your eyes, reveling in the fragrance.

Watching you like this… Eren feels his heart singing again. You look so small, so delicate. Graceful too with your fingers pushing a lock of your hair so it won’t fall over your face. You leave him dizzy, breathless even, just by the mere sight of you looking up at him from underneath your lashes. “I’ll put this in a vase when I get home. They say fresh flowers could last up to twelve days if you take care of them properly. I’ll try my best to make them last.”

God, you would look so pretty in a wedding dress. “Y-you don’t have to. I will get you new flowers when they’ve withered away. I can send you a bouquet every week if you want.”

“How very committed of you,” you croon, pursing your lips in a way that makes his flush spread to his ears. “Why don’t we just focus on getting through the night for now? If you’re on your best behavior, maybe we can arrange a second date.” You don’t even have to add a wink to give him a heart attack. Your words already did that for you.

“I—Really?”

“Yes,” you chuckle, amused by how his entire face just brightened at the thought. “By the way, when did you get here? I thought I was early but you already got here before me. Did you wait long?”

“N-no.” He looks away, rubbing the tip of his nose. “I just got here.”

You’re a terrible liar. “And when was that exactly?”

“About…” He grows nervous under your gaze. Wincing, he decides to tell the truth. “An hour ago?”

“Oh my God—really? Why didn’t you go inside the coffee house? It’s freezing out here.”

“I’m not cold.” He tries to convince you by straightening his back, even though his hands are shivering inside the pockets of his jacket.  

“Your nose is red, dummy.” You shake your head, pushing back the bouquet to his chest. “Hold the flowers for me?” 

“Umm, okay,” he complies although his forehead creases in confusion. “What are you—”

Without waiting for him to finish, you quickly untangle your scarf, standing on your toes to hook the wooly fabric around his neck. Eren holds his breath, his eyes turning round. Tugging him closer by the scarf, you force his body to lean toward you. He catches a whiff of the perfume you wore for the night, even when the wind is blowing hard enough to raise the tiny hairs on his nape—or maybe it’s because of how close you are to him. 

You toss him a smile, feeling satisfied when you witness how much effects you have on him. “Do you know how to tie a Parisian scarf knot?”

Your voice is thick with charm in his ears, melodious and a bit… seductive. He swallows his breath, fingers curling into fists as he tries to stop his eyes from wandering anywhere else but your eyes. Your lips look so inviting, but he doesn’t want to look more obvious than he already does. “No, Ma’am.” He discovers his voice again after spending what feels like forever trying to process your question.

“Well, it’s really easy. Fold your scarf in half widthwise.” You practice directly on him, doing the same thing your lips instructed you to. “Then fold in half again lengthwise. Drape the scarf over your neck, and then—bend down a little for me?” 

Eren’s face is burning bright but he follows. This time, he can’t stop himself from gazing at your lips. He can tell that you’re wearing a different shade of lipstick tonight. You keep your make-up to a minimum but you applied bold red lipstick to grab his attention. And boy, you didn’t just steal his attention. You’re taking his entire breath away. 

“Then you bring the loose ends through the hole,” you continue, pretending like you’re oblivious to the thoughts of him wanting to get a taste of your lip gloss. “Tighten the scarf around your neck and voila.” You beam at him with a youthful grin, patting your hands once against his chest. “There you have it. A Parisian scarf knot. Does it feel warm, big boy?”

Warm? He’s about to burst into fucking flames. He shakily nods. “Yes, Ma’am, thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” you grin, taking the flowers back from him.

“What about you?” Eren asks, eyebrows stitched in concern. “Aren’t you cold?”

“No, the scarf was just an accessory.”

“Are you sure?”

“Well, if you’re that worried,” you roll your eyes playfully at him, shifting the bouquet to your right hand while you offer him your left one. “Here.”

Eren just stares at it like the idiot that he is. “Umm… Do you want your scarf back?”

“No, silly.” You snatch away his hand, lacing your fingers together before you bring them inside the pocket of your trench coat. Eren’s jaw hangs slack on his face but he’s not given the time to react when you take a step forward, walking toward the path you were coming from.

Eren, low-key panicking (actually, maybe high-key), follows after your trail as he’s left with no choice. His hand is probably sweaty and gross but you hold it firmly as if he’s the other set of puzzles you need to complete you. “Isn’t it supposed to be the other way around?” He asks with a quiver in his voice. “L-like, your hand in my pocket instead of mine in yours?”

“True, but let’s not get too predictable.” This time, you do hurl a wink at him and a little bit of his soul just ascends to heaven. 

“Where are we going?” He tries not to think too much about how your hand fits his perfectly or how delightfully warm you are. “I thought we were going to get coffee?”

“I’ve changed my mind. We’re gonna catch a movie instead. You like watching movies, right? Except for the scary ones.”

“Yeah…” But then he furrows his eyebrows, suspicion in his gaze. “Wait, how do you know I don’t like scary movies?”

Oh, shoot. “Well, I mean…” You hope your giggle would be enough to mask how tense you are. “I… have been doing research about you.” What am I even saying? “I mean, I’ve had my eyes on you for a while too. Isn’t it natural for me to want to know what interests you and what doesn't?” Okay, to be fair, that makes a lot of sense but God, that was so embarrassing!

But if your goal is to divert his attention away from the topic, it works perfectly. Right now, Eren is taking a trip over the moon, his spirits flying high at the thought of you asking around about him because you’re interested in him. “Do you, umm…” He wets his lip, his heart thrashing wildly inside his rib cages. “Do you… have a crush on me?”

Are you for real right now?! Who asks that kind of question?! But you’ve got no other choice but to say yes. You have to make your previous sentence believable, don’t you? And it’s not like you’re lying about it. You do have a crush on him. Actually, it’s even bigger than that. You’re probably in love with him at this point. But admitting it out loud to the person you have feelings for? Doesn’t that mean you’re going to do the same as he did on the rooftop, telling stories about you to Spider-Girl? Except you’re going to sound like a bigger idiot this time since you’re not going to accidentally tell him about your feelings just because you happened to be clueless about his secret identity. Eren’s alter ego is a giant pervert and you already know that from day one, and now you’re going to admit your feelings to him like this.

I hate myself.

You sigh, glaring into the night as you admit bashfully, “Yeah. Kinda.” Ah, I want to die.

You’re not sure what you expect him to say. Maybe you want him to be honest too? Make this a little less awkward and humiliating by saying, “That’s good because I have a crush on you too. And it’s so bad that I had to jerk off to your pictures and tell the town’s most famous superheroine about it.” or something like that. But of course, that only happens in your mind because now silence comes third-wheeling on your date, and you’re this close to shooting your web and swinging away from the scene.

Then you hear him sniffling.

Spinning your head so fast, you almost give yourself a head rush. “Are you crying right now?”

He is. He so is. Well, not actually crying like how he bawled his eyes out when he watched Hachiko—that movie had no business being that sad and depressing. But yes, Eren may have gotten a little bit emotional by your confession. Could you really blame him, though? Adoring someone from afar for two fucking years without doing anything but secretly taking your pictures is not an easy feat. Eren really thought he would never find the chance to talk to you, let alone go on a date with you like this. And now you’re telling him you’ve got a crush on him too? 

“N-no,” he mumbles, tossing his face to the side as he rubs the back of his hand against his nose. “I’m just—I’m cold.”

“You literally just said you weren’t cold.”

“Yeah, but that was just me trying to look strong.” He sniffles again. “I’m actually very sensitive to cold.”

He really can’t lie to save his life, but that attempt deserves a reward so you bump your shoulder against his in a playful manner, letting out the softest laugh as you do. “You’re blushing so hard right now, I can tell.”

“I know,” he admits with his head hanging low. “I’m so pathetic.”

“I think you’re adorable.”

“C-calling a grown-ass man adorable isn’t really a compliment, you know.”

“And yet, it makes you blush even harder. I say it is, big boy.”

Your smirk is supposed to seem evil but to Eren, you just look so titillating, his brain immediately takes a snapshot of your expression for his, uhh… late-night entertainment. “You’re going to kill me someday,” he mutters, his pout returning to his lips.

“Well…” You release his hand only to hug his arm against your chest, your cheek grazing against the fabric of his jacket as you walk side by side with barely a centimeter separating you. “Let’s just hope someone will be there to save you.”

At this rate, even Quicksilver can’t be fast enough to save him from dying. “You’re a dangerous woman.”

***

“Oh my God, I can’t believe I fell asleep. I’m so sorry.”

That’s what you’ve been saying for the last fifteen minutes as you walk out of the theater with one hand holding your bouquet and another one cupping your face, fingers tapping lightly against your cheek so it would stop feeling like it’s catching on fire. 

You had a plan. A very thorough plan involving you leaning your head against his shoulder as you both watched a romantic movie playing on the big screen; you giving him signs that it would be okay for him to hold your hand and maybe, just maybe, he could lean in to kiss you too. Not wanting to sound desperate or anything, but you have been thinking about doing intimate things with him for a while, especially after he confessed his whole feelings to you—well, to Spider-Girl—on the rooftop two nights ago. You can’t help it. After knowing that he likes you so much, it’s impossible for you not to expect something to happen tonight. Especially since you knew that he’s been thinking about you in sexual ways too. If he had one hand wrapped around his dick just from being aroused at the thought of you, obviously he would want to do something more than hold hands, wouldn’t he?

You’re both still in your early twenties. It’s natural to have your hormones going crazy at the thought of being in the dark with a cute boy. Boys might not know this, but girls think about sex just as much as boys do, don’t they? It’s been a while since you’ve let loose and made out with a handsome quarterback at the back of his car. It doesn’t help that you’re still a virgin too, just like Eren. You have a desire burning inside you, and an endless amount of curiosity needing to be answered. But it’s not just physical contact that you crave, it’s the emotional bond too. You want to feel like you’re in love. You want to be loved, and Eren, you know for certain, has so much of that to give you. If only you had followed your plan, you might have been able to have all that. Because the movie date was supposed to be cute, with him stealing glances and gazing at you with those lovestruck eyes every time he caught you smiling at him, but no, what happened was—

“I think it’s cute that you were already snoring in the first ten minutes,” Eren simpers. 

Fire burns your cheeks. “I did not snore.”

“You did. Pretty loudly too. There was this couple sitting in front of us that kept looking back to check up on you.”

“Oh my God.” You rub a hand over your face, hiding your lower half behind your palm. “Please tell me you’re joking.”

Eren laughs wholeheartedly, placing his hand above your head just like how a big brother would tease his sister. “Guess being the top student can be pretty hard, huh?”

Being a top student? Nah. Running around the town catching drug dealers and stopping car chases at three in the morning? Yeah, probably. “I’m so sorry,” you vocalize with regret in your tone. “I didn’t get much sleep last night.”

“Studying?”

“Yeah,” you lie. “There’s this science olympics I have to participate in next month and I’ve got so many things to prepare. I need to land first place or my dad’s gonna kill me. My body must have given up on me.”

He stops walking, taking your hand so naturally this time that it leaves you—the one who took the initiative—flustered. “Are you okay?” He asks, concern overtaking his face. “I can take you home if you want to rest. We don’t have to do this tonight.”

Your heart melts a little. He’s always like this. So attentive, so caring, putting your needs above everything else. “It’s fine,” you assure him with a smile. “I slept like a baby for two hours just now—I’m fully recharged. Thank you for lending me your shoulder the whole time. Is your arm okay?”

“Yeah,” he tosses you his lopsided grin. “Just a bit smelly ‘cause you drooled all over my jacket.”

“Shut up!”

Conversations start to flow naturally as you both grow more comfortable with each other’s presence. The initial awkwardness has vanished without a trace, transforming into a sense of familiarity that shrouds you as if you were two friends who had been spending time together for weeks. Which, of course, you are, but Eren doesn’t know this. 

He doesn’t blush so often anymore but you, on the other hand, are becoming worse and worse in that department. The more comfortable he is with you, the more honest he becomes, and the more he feels like he can say anything he wants to say. He told you how he really liked it when you wore your hair up in a ponytail, how it made you look sporty and fresh, and even a bit sexy (he still turned red at the last part, but he didn’t stammer like a five-year-old trying to tell a story). He told you how he liked the scent of your strawberry shampoo—how it suited your sweet and cheerful personality, and how he always thought of you these days when he was out shopping for groceries and he saw strawberries sitting on the fruit counter. He told you that you have a beautiful laugh, the kind that can elevate people’s moods, like sunshine seeping through dark clouds. Everything he says sends blood pooling on your face. It doesn’t help that he never lets go of your hand as you walk down the street, doing the same thing you did to him earlier—interlacing your fingers together and sticking them inside the pocket of his coat.

“Warm?” He asks, his smile is sheepish but his pretty green eyes are radiant, glimmering under the city lights.

You nod, heart palpitating. This doesn’t feel like a first date. It feels like you’ve been lovers for months. 

How perfect is this? Fate came in to introduce you to one another when you were children, and now it’s doing the same thing by reuniting you with him again. Not to mention that your alter ego, Spider-Girl, also met him by accident and now she’s playing a huge part in his life as well. It’s like the universe wants you to be together. But as you fall harder for him with every second passing by, Eren is feeling the opposite.

Unbeknownst to you, Eren hasn’t been a hundred percent honest tonight. He’s said the things he wanted to say but there are still some matters that he holds to himself, and that is the fact that he keeps seeing Spider-Girl in everything you do.

It’s weird. Maybe even sickening at some point. Because how can he think about another girl when he’s going on a date with the girl he’s been secretly in love with for years? He can see Spider-Girl in the little gestures that you make. The way your hands move animatedly in the air when you get too excited as you retell your story; the way you snort and say something witty or sarcastic whenever he’s being a little bit corny. But ultimately, Spider-Girl comes alive in his mind every time you laugh. He can hear it. If he closes his eyes, he can imagine it was Spider-Girl who was chortling at his joke. Even the little giggles you let out ring familiarly in his ears too. 

But why? Why can’t he stop thinking about her when he’s with you? This isn’t right. This isn’t what’s supposed to happen. He’s supposed to be head over heels for you and only you. Eren shouldn’t let himself feel like this for a second longer but the more he tries to forget about Spider-Girl, the more his mind does the opposite. 

There are two logical explanations to elucidate the emotion he’s going through: a) for some bizarre reason, you are indeed Spider-Girl herself or b) he’s…

I’m in love with Spider-Girl too. 

Eren feels something weird crawling up his chest, something he can’t really describe. It feels both like dread and also joy. It feels so wrong to admit it to himself, feels even worse that he just realized it now. He’s trying so hard not to believe it that he forces himself to return and think further about his first option.

You’re Spider-Girl. God, even saying it in his head already sounds so ridiculous to him. How can you, one of the university’s best students, have the time to fight crimes? Or even the motivation to sacrifice your life every night to fight a gang of mafias or the Lizard? You just said it yourself that you had to stay up all night to prepare for the olympics. Plus, You’re so different compared to Spider-Girl. You’re much more feminine, even clumsy at times too, while Spider-Girl is this badass fighter with fast reflexes and superhuman strength. Of course, you being clumsy is just a part of your cover, but how could Eren know that? How could he know that the personality you’re showing right now is a part of the illusion you create to make you seem more normal? You’re not this feminine. You’re not this graceful. You don’t laugh with a hand covering your lips to be polite. You laugh with your head thrown back and your eyes shut closed. The real you—the one who has your true personality—is Spider-Girl.

“Hey, are you okay?” Even with your gentle call, Eren still flinches as if you just shouted at him. “You’ve been quiet for a while. What’s wrong?”

He’s staring at you like he’s seeing a ghost and for a moment, you feel your chest tightening too. Has he realized it? Has he figured out that I’m Spider-Girl? Fuck, what gave me away? I thought I was being careful all night. But that’s not it. Eren isn’t panicking because he’s learned the truth about your identity. He’s freaking out because he’s starting to believe that he really is in love with two women at the same time.

This is bad, he thinks, fidgeting as the words sink even harder. This is so bad. 

“N-nothing, sorry,” he forces out a laugh. “Should we go, umm, get some coffee?”

***

“I had a great time today,” you say, turning around on your heels to face him with the sweetest smile you can offer. Standing on the crosswalk, your bodies are bathed in the yellowish glow of the lamppost, two pairs of eyes locking together as the world turns blurry behind you. The digital clock on your phone screen shows that it’s a few minutes away before midnight strikes. The peaceful town has turned quiet. Stores are closed. Most of the locals have returned to their families, all warmed up in the serenity of their homes. There are still a few cars passing by, shining headlights and casting shadows to stretch under your feet. It would’ve been comforting, this atmosphere between you, if your heartbeat didn’t chime so clamorously in your ears.

You’re still struggling to wash away the anxiety in your chest, worried that he’s found out about your secret. But if he did, why doesn’t he say so? Is he waiting for you to make the first move and tell him the truth? It doesn’t make any sense. Wouldn’t he be happy to know that you were the same girl who’d spent countless hours with him, talking your heart out every night? Or is he embarrassed over the fact that you already knew about the feelings he had for you—the real version of you?

Oh no, you almost gasp in shock. What if he’s angry at me for keeping my identity a secret? What if he’s upset that I didn’t stop him when he talked about his crush—about me? What if he thinks I’m annoying for messing around with him? What if he hates me now?

Your head is going round and round and round that you feel like you’re on the verge of throwing up. But when you tilt up your chin to meet his gaze, Eren doesn’t seem like he’s vexed. Rather than angry, he just seems… conflicted. About what, you’re not so sure.

“Me too.” Eren smiles, answering your earlier question. Now that you’re about to part ways, he releases your hand. It feels strange to have spaces between your fingers again, as you’ve grown too comfortable from having his lean ones filling the gaps. “Thank you for lending me your scarf. I’ll wash it before I return it to you.”

“You can have it.” You beam at him, hoping that it would look natural. “It looks better on you, anyway.”

He still turns abashed like he always does, but it doesn’t last long. The next time you blink, he returns to his distraught state.

You’re both too caught up in your own thoughts to form words but you’re recovering faster than he is. With turmoil sitting heavily inside your chest, you feebly ask him, “Is there… something wrong?”

He blinks. “What?”

“It’s just…” You take in a sharp breath. “I feel like something is bothering you, and I keep rewinding everything that we did, trying to figure out what I did wrong but… Are you angry at me..?”

His brain stutters for a moment, every part of him goes on pause as his thoughts catch up. Shit, what have I done? “Nothing’s bothering me!” Eren claims a little bit louder than intended. “I’m so sorry for making you feel worried. I’m not angry at you—I would never—you could never anger me. I’m just… I have some… thoughts, that’s all.”

Okay, that’s a relief. You can sense honesty both in his voice and his expression. “About what? If that’s okay to ask…”

Eren bites on the corner of his lower lip, anxious. “I’m—” He parts his lips but nothing comes out. What am I supposed to say to her? I’m in love with you but I feel like I’m also in love with someone else? “I…”

It’s nerve-wracking to see him this way and you can’t stand the tension. What if he’s about to say something you don’t want to hear? “You know what, never mind, it’s okay.” You end your sentence quickly with a peal of laughter that sounds too strained even in your own ears. “I didn’t mean to pry. So, uhh…” You hook your hands between your back, fingers tied around the bouquet to stop him from seeing how jittery you are. “Do you… Do you still want to do this again?”

“Yes,” Eren answers instantly, his breath quickening for some reason. “Yeah, of course. If you want to, I would love to go out with you again.” Maybe if I spend more time with her, I can make sure of my feelings. “I really enjoyed our date tonight. Truly.”

Your smile is genuine but it doesn’t lift the heavy anchor resting in your chest. “Cool. Maybe next time we can have, like, a study date? Finals are coming up soon. We can study at your place if you want.”

“M-my place?” He asks, stupefied. “Umm… Okay. Just the two of us?”

“Do you want me to invite someone else?” You wanted to tease him but your tone sounds flat as if you’re enervated.

Eren’s fingers curl against the side of his jeans. “No…”

“Then I guess it’s just gonna be you and me. I don’t have anything planned for tomorrow, actually. I’m free after I’m done with my ballet practice. Maybe… I can visit your house after that?”

Eren gives two little nervous nods. “O-or I can just pick you up? I’ll borrow Zeke’s bike and we can grab some takeouts before we go to my—” He clears his throat, face aflame. “My house.”

“Okay.” You didn’t feel awkward at all during the date, and now awkwardness is all you feel. “Okay, yeah, that sounds great.”

“Yeah.”

“Well, then… I guess I’ll see you tomorrow. Thank you again for the flowers.” Your eyes shift to the same spot of his skin where you brushed your lips against just a few hours before. It’s supposed to be easier the second time, but now you can’t even lean close to give him a friendly hug. Restraining a sigh from fleeing out of your mouth, you toss him one last smile before you pivot on your heels.

“Wait,” Eren calls out, his fingers clamping your wrist. “Let me walk you home, please.” 

“No, it’s all right, I’ll take a cab.” You tug your hand gently, enough for him to get the message and let you go. He’s about to protest when you repeat, “I’ll be fine. I’ll text you when I get home, okay?”

The roles are now reversed. Eren can tell there’s something you’re hiding behind your smile, but he’s too much of a coward to use his voice. What if you feel like he’s invading your privacy too much? 

There he goes again, worrying. You realize maybe you’ve come out a bit too strong. Gathering as much courage as you can, you take two quick steps toward him, yank him down by his scarf and place another kiss on his cheek. You can hear him stifling down his gasp as you sweep your lips against his smooth skin. When you break away a second later, you keep your fingers around his scarf, keeping his face hovering just a couple of inches away from yours as you whisper, “Good night.”

Bewitched by your beauty, he finds it hard to breathe. “G-good night.”

You release him. Your smile will be an everlasting memory in his mind. And as you walk away, Eren keeps his eyes trained on your figure.

There’s no doubt that he loves you. Otherwise, how else can he explain this rapid beating of his heart every time he caught a glimpse of you? How else can he explain this sense of elation and gratitude that flowed through him every time you cast him a smile? But why…

Why can’t I stop thinking about her?

Why can’t I stop thinking about Spider-Girl?

***

Eren has been spending the last twenty minutes of his bus ride home just staring at the window with vacant eyes and a storm churning inside his chest. He has taken off the knitted scarf you wound around his neck, his fingers laid idle on the wool as he sets it down on his lap. The scent of your perfume still lingers close but instead of giving him the sense of longing to see you again, it leaves him at sixes and sevens. He thought joy would be the only thing that filled the depth of his heart after his first date with you but now it seems like it’s something intangible. Every time he thinks about you, he thinks about Spider-Girl too, and remorse floods his chest. He folds the scarf and tucks it inside his bag, hoping that he could wash away the guilt that way, even if it’s only for a moment.

As he walks away from his bus stop, Eren retrieves his camera from his bag and wears the black strap around his neck. With his shoulders hunched forward, he switches it on and goes through the pictures he’s taken of you a while ago. His smile still blooms on his face at the sight of you smiling a bit awkwardly to the camera, but it’s faint, barely visible. He clicks on the same button repeatedly, going from one picture to another until his gaze lands on the candid photos of Spider-Girl that he took. He feels his heart jolt. Flashback of the night you shared with him on the rooftop—the way you sounded when you laughed, the retorts you made as he told you his jokes… His smile turns a bit wider this time. For the first time in his life, remembering Spider-Girl spreads more contentment in his chest than the thoughts of you.

Because to him, Spider-Girl feels more… real.

Thunder rumbles above his head, flashing silver light across the night sky. Knowing how it’s about to rain, Eren swerves to the right, stepping inside an abandoned alley that he’s walked a thousand times in his life. It’s a shortcut that takes him right to the road that leads to his house. He’s never bothered by how eerie and quiet it is, not even perplexed by the thought of being alone in the dark with only the moonlight guiding his steps. Except the moon is hidden behind the dark clouds tonight, and he fastens his steps, trying to get home as fast as possible before his body is drenched by the rain.

But he’s forced to slow down the second he crosses paths with a few men covered in tattoos and piercings. 

A man, a few inches shorter than he is with bleached hair, purposefully bumps his shoulder against his, almost causing his camera to slip off his grip. Eren stops walking, lifting his head as the other man turns around to cast him a wicked grin. The other three males sneer, tossing their cigarettes away to the ground and crushing them under their boots. 

“What do you have over there, champ?” The man with the bleached hair asks, yellowish teeth peeking behind chapped lips. “Looks expensive.”

Eren’s cautious eyes drift down to catch him sliding his hands inside the pocket of his hoodie. He’s probably going for his knife, a voice inside him tells him to be prepared. Eren feels his muscles tautening, his heart gradually pumping more blood through his veins as the four men begin to circle him, leaving him with no way to escape.

“Hand us the camera,” another man says, this one has a barcode tattoo on the side of his neck. “We’re gonna need your phone and your wallet too.”

Rain starts to pour. Eren feels the droplets sliding down his cheeks before he can see them. Switching off his camera, he tightens his grip around it. “Look, man,” he says, “I don’t want any trouble here.”

“Give me the camera then.” The tallest one among them suddenly takes a closer step, giving him no choice but to back away. He has his spine glued to the wall, his heart pounding in his ears but he keeps his jaw clenched tight.

“No,” Eren utters through gritted teeth, and within a split second, the taller male has a pocket knife pressed against his throat.

“I wasn’t asking,” he says, voice hoarse and grating. 

Eren doesn’t blink or cower in fear. He faces the man right in his eyes. “Ganging up on me like this. What are you, a bunch of pussies?”

“You fucking—”

Eren knees the man right between his legs hard enough to give him a moment to escape. He ducks his head down, the tip of the man’s knife only missing a few millimeters from slicing his skin. He knows that his chances of winning the fight are close to zero. So instead of holding his ground, he chooses to flee. Still with his camera dangling around his neck and his bag slinging on one shoulder, Eren sprints away as fast as he can. 

But the ground is dark and slippery under the rain, and he misses his footing. Falling to one knee with his palms scratching against the pavements, Eren gets himself pulled back to his feet by one hand tugging at his roots and another slithering around his throat.

Fuck. Terror rises fast in his chest. His brain can’t think fast enough to find a way for him to escape. One man is holding him from behind, the other two are closing in on him, while the tallest one moves to loom before him.

“You’ve got a pretty face for a man,” the tall man grins, pointing the tip of his blade toward his cheekbone as Eren tries to break free. “Why don’t we put a smile on that face, yeah?”

“Get off me, you fucking—”

The rest of his sentence is followed by a silent gasp when a lump of web shoots over Eren’s shoulder. It covers the tall man’s face with a force hard enough to knock him off his balance before another thick string of web, sticky and unyielding, glues him to the ground, keeping him immobile. Before Eren can process what’s happening, another man falls to the earth with a broken nose, screaming in agony into the night. The man that was holding him from behind has his body smashed against the wall, and Eren can see you—Spider-Girl—aiming your wrist forward and shooting enough chunks of web to trap the man to the bricks behind him. Now that he can’t move, it leaves you one more opponent to take care of.

This is the first time Eren sees you in action. The way you hold your fighting stance; the way you drop down to the ground with one leg bent on the knee and another one stretched out; the way you hold your balance with one hand in the air and your other one settled on the concrete only by your fingertips—you’re beautiful. You’re deadly and graceful at the same time, like a ballet dancer performing the third act of Swan Lake. Within seconds, you knock the last gang member unconscious. Eren is about to call out to you when the man with the broken nose returns to his feet and hooks an arm around his neck.

“Don’t move or I’ll slit his throat,” the man with the bleached hair threatens with his teeth bared, and you freeze. 

The rain is tapping against your hood, your costume glistening but not soaked. You raise your arms in the air, keeping your lips tightly pressed as you straighten your back. You watch Eren through your lenses and you see no fear in his eyes even if the tip of the man’s knife is digging dangerously into his skin. You, on the other hand, are nervous. Fear can turn someone as harmless as a baby lamb into a cornered wolf and by the look of it, this man is terrified by the things you can do. One stupid move and you’ll risk Eren’s life. If the man adds just a little bit more pressure onto his knife, Eren will have his white sweater soaked in red.

“Let him go,” you carefully say, not wanting to startle him.

“Get the fuck out of here,” the man says, his voice muffled by the amount of blood clogging his nose. When you don’t budge, he starts to scream. “Are you deaf?! I said, get the fuck away—”

To his surprise—and yours—Eren slams his elbow against the man’s stomach, successfully knocking the wind out of his lungs in one try. Now that he’s released from his headlock, he grabs the man by the shoulder and takes a small step back to unbalance him. Quickly turning around as he maintains a strong grip on his body, Eren pulls his arm as far over his shoulder as he can. It sends his opponent sailing over his head and landing flat on his back. He finishes with a hard punch to his face and the man is laid out cold on the ground.

Your eyes are wide open, baffled by how swift and precise Eren’s movement was. With that amount of muscle in his body, you could tell that he could win his fight if needed. You just didn’t think that he’d perform a complete martial move on him. 

“Wow,” you say, walking through the rain to get to his spot. “Didn’t think you could pull that kind of stunt. I’m impressed.”

“Fuck, that hurt,” Eren hisses, clenching and unclenching his fist as his knuckles throbs with pain. Massaging his hand, he replies to your comment, “Yeah, I took a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu class one time out of curiosity. That’s the only move I know how to do. Didn’t think it would work.”

“Well, you did great.” Now that you’re just an arm’s reach away from him, you gently take a hold of his wrist, bringing it closer to your face so you can inspect it further. You can feel him stiffen under your touch but none of you act on it. “This is gonna bruise tomorrow. You better treat it before you go to bed. Wrap an ice pack in a towel and leave it in place for about ten to twenty minutes. That will help you reduce the swelling.”

Eren watches the way your fingers move delicately against his, the material of your spandex gliding against his skin as you try to soothe his pain. His heart throbs again but it has nothing to do with the amount of adrenaline that rushed through his system merely a minute ago. 

“Thank you,” he says, his voice as quiet as the rain that still pours lightly above you. “For saving me.”

“Yeah, you have a knack for getting into trouble,” you snort, acting aloof as you don’t want him to witness the amount of relief that washes over you.

“Well, fortunately for me, you seem like you have a knack for saving my life.” Seeing you here, hearing your voice, Eren burns with fierce joy. He turns a bit playful, his heart grows enamored at the sight of you. 

You can sense the changes in his tone and the way his fingers move slightly against yours as if he’s trying not to be so obvious but also giving you a hint that he wants you to hold his hand tighter—to touch him longer.

You release him, not wanting to be ensnared by his spell even further than you already have. You relocate your hand to your hip, scolding him like a mother. “Seriously, I left you for one night and you almost got stabbed to death. Can’t you give me a break?”

“It’s not like I was looking for trouble. Shit just happened.”

“You’re lucky you have me saving your ass.”

“I am. I’m glad I have you with me.” The corners of his mouth turn up, bedazzling you with a saccharine smile until he leaves you dumbfounded, the rest of your body immobile save by the delightful swirl dancing in your stomach. “Seems like I have a superheroine stalker.”

Why are you looking at me like that? You muse, your eyes taking in every bit of his expression from behind your lenses. Why do you look like you’re… Your thought is left unfinished when your memory resurfaces. Eren is displaying the same gaze he showed you when you talked to him for the first time on the day the cherry blossom petals were dancing in the wind. That dazed, besotted look on his face as if you were the most gorgeous thing his eyes had the pleasure to revel in. But why? You’re not the most gorgeous thing he’s seen, at least not now when you’re buried underneath your costume. He should’ve had this look when he bid his farewell to you an hour ago, but he didn’t, did he? You made his heart resonate with joy when you granted a kiss on his cheek but he didn’t even hold your hand to stay longer. He didn’t perceive you with this gaze. He doesn’t look like he’s madly in love with you. Not like this. Not like now.

You’re paralyzed for a second when it dawns on you.

Oh, shit.

He likes Spider-Girl. 

And everything clicks. The way he seems perplexed when you kissed him on the cheek, the way he didn’t ask you to stay longer. Perhaps it’s also the reason why he’s no longer wearing your scarf. 

No wonder he looked so distraught before! He was trying to sort out his feelings, wasn’t he?

When you told yourself a couple of months ago that it would be funny if Eren fell for you and Spider-Girl at the same time, you didn’t think it would come true. Because why would he? Why would he be in love with Spider-Girl? He doesn’t know your true identity. He’s never seen your face, never seen you in other clothes except for this skin-tight spandex you’re wearing. You’re like a comic book character, walking in real life and spouting cliche lines as you save little kids from the street. If what he feels is simply admiration, sure, you can understand that. But that’s not what it is. This is affection. This is infatuation. He’s in love. But how come? All he knows about Spider-Girl is your personality—the true version of you instead of the delicate, feminine young lady you exhibited during the date. He only knows the stories you told about your first kiss and your first biking accident, the fear you faced when you were fighting for your life, or the way you laugh like a child and sit like a man, and—

Oh. 

Your heart pulsates harder. Your joy streaks through you like a comet.

“Hey,” Eren calls, tilting his head a little in concern. The sprinkle of rain makes the little baby hairs that fall out of his bun stick to his temple, droplets of water sliding down from his high cheekbone to his chin. “You okay?”

Your thoughts are loud. The voices in your head are screaming one line after another, telling you this is it. This is the real thing. You have no reason to doubt his feelings anymore. Eren loves the real you. Every little part of you. He loves you despite not knowing how you look. He loves you simply because you’re… you.

“I, uh—” Never have you felt so much joy expanding within you before. “Sorry, I have to go.” I can’t talk to you right now. I already feel like I’m going insane just standing right next to you like this. 

Because you know if you stay even a minute longer, your mouth will betray you and you will tell him the truth. You will tell him everything: how you’re the same girl he was with an hour ago. That you’re the same kid he was spending his blissful days with when he was a lonely child sitting inside a hospital ward. That you’re the same girl who saved his life and whose heart was saved by him. And that you feel the same way about him, that you fell for him twelve years ago, that you fell for him that night on the rooftop, that you fell for him again just a few hours ago, and how you fall harder for him now. And how much you want to come out clean, take off your mask, and bury your face in his warmth.

I can’t do this. The moment’s not right. I’m just going to freak him out if I do this now.

I need to prepare my words carefully. The last thing I want to do is upset him.

“I’ll see you later, okay?” you say in a hurry. Not giving him a chance to react, you stretch out your arm toward the sky, shoot a rope of web from your wrist, and lift your body off the ground.

“Wait!” He shouts from below, head facing the black clouds as he tries to locate your figure, your body concealed by the night and the fine rain. He’s calling you again and there’s something in his tone, desperate and frantic, that steals your heart and possesses your body to move back into the light. Chewing on your bottom lip, you decide it’s not fair if you just leave him like this. Perhaps it’s okay if I just listen to what he has to say? 

With an uncertain heart, you spin a web and reel yourself down to street level, your body descending until you have your face hanging a few inches away from his. You’re clinging upside-down on a rope of web with the balls of your feet locked around the silvery threads.

“What?” You question him, trying to keep yourself reticent even if the words, “Eren, it’s me!” are rising threateningly close to your lips. 

You see him drawing a sharp breath. A muscle in his jaw twitches as he clenches his fingers into fists, gathering as much courage as he can.

Okay, what do I say to her? Eren muses, his thoughts running like a bullet train piercing through the wind. Should I just tell her the truth? Say, ‘hey, this might sound weird, but I was on a date today with the girl whom I thought I was in love with but I couldn’t stop thinking about you and now I’m thinking that maybe I like you too—I like you much more than I’m supposed to—and I’m low-key freaking out because I don’t want to be that guy who’s in love with two girls at the same time but I really feel like I am. I’m in love with you.

“Eren,” you urge him gently. “I really have to go…”

Fuck this, he curses inwardly. Just stop thinking for a second. You’re an idiot, thinking wouldn’t do you any good. Just do what your heart tells you to do. Just… 

Try.

“Can I…” He wets his bottom lip, his voice quavering. “Can I try something I’ve never done before?”

With your heartbeat blasting in your ears, you feel like all of your senses are screaming at you at once, your blood boiling in anticipation. You can feel it in his voice, the desire and longing he holds for you, the same ones that match the intensity of your own. 

Eren removes his hands from crumpling the side of his jeans, shaky fingertips reaching forward to touch you. He stops mid-air when he sees you stiffening. “Do you trust me?” He asks, barely audible.

“I…” Even upside down like this, face glistening with rain, Eren still looks breathtaking. “I do.”

At your permission, he curls his fingers into the seam at your throat, slipping them beneath the fabric to graze the underside of your jaw. You shudder, breathless as soon as you know what’s going to happen. If he takes off your mask, then so be it. You don’t care anymore. You want him to find out. 

Slowly, Eren rolls back the fabric of your mask, revealing a portion of your skin and your lips. He stops right after your nose, careful not to go any further.

You have your lips slightly parted, so inviting and smooth, with his name resting heavily on your tongue, itching to be spoken. Both of you are coated by the drizzle that pours over you. “Ren—”

Eren leans in, eyes drooping as he rests his hands on each side of your head, pressing his lips tentatively across yours. It’s a chaste kiss, rain-wet and cool, and you feel your breath strangled in your throat even when his lips only brush lightly. He misses the spot, just by a few millimeters, his body so tense, his lungs forgetting how to breathe for a few seconds. 

Eren has always imagined that his first kiss would feel like a dream. Something magical, something that he wants to last forever, something that he’d share with the love of his life at the end of a perfect date. He thought that moment when you bid him good night under the lamppost—that was it. That was the perfect moment to have a perfect kiss, but even if his body wanted it, his heart told him to stay still. His body wanted you, but everything else belonged to Spider-Girl.

You, right now, are the girl who owns his heart. Because kissing under the rain in an abandoned alley with a girl in a superhero costume is the exact opposite of everything he has imagined and yet, this… This right here… This feels right.

This feels like it’s everything he’s ever wanted.

His lips only stay briefly, but even then, you’re having the hardest time opening your eyes. It’s as if you had fallen into a deep sleep and you’re suddenly pulled back into reality. His thumb strokes your cheek, his next words not more than a whisper. “Was that… okay?”

You wet your lip, unintentionally making it harder for him to stay still and listen to your answer before he leans in again. “Kiss me again, Ren,” you murmur, your voice almost drowned by the rain but he can sense the yearning within you and he’s only eager to let you find out how badly he wants you too. 

The second kiss has more zeal, lips parted and teeth threatening to clash. Once it gets a bit intense, Eren finds the strength to break away, his mind reminding him to check on your reaction before he goes even further. But neither of you wants this magic to shatter, not yet. He pulls away only to dive back in with more emotions, more honesty in the way he moves his lips. Splaying his fingers to trap your face, he closes the distance with a soft groan erupting right at the second your lips collide once more. He has his eyebrows furrowed as he sets you ablaze with his avidity, applying more pressure to his lips, more yearning, more burning desire. He lacks experience, but he makes it up with his passion. When you gasp slightly in surprise, Eren captures your bottom lip between his. His kiss, though arduous, is also gentle—just like how he is as a person. It’s sweeter than the ones you’ve experienced. Addicting. Intoxicating. And maybe everything feels this way because you have blood pooling in your brain, but you don’t care. Just like him, this moment feels right.

It’s only when you hear the siren of a police car passing down the street that Eren stops, pulling away but remains close enough for you to have his warm breath caressing your skin. “Shouldn’t you go?” He asks, voice sounding hoarse as if he hasn’t spoken in years. But despite his words, he closes his lips around yours again, clamping around your top one this time.

“Yeah,” you breathe out between heavy kisses. “Kiss me again.”

You part your lips wider to welcome him deeper, and you can feel just a little bit of his tongue swiping along the seam of your lips. Your stomach flips, a faint moan escaping you and Eren tastes the rain, tastes the flavor of your chapstick, tastes you. 

The siren blares through the night again. “They need you,” he whispers.

You have one hand framing his face, stopping him from ending his kiss. “There are other superheroes in town.”

Eren chuckles, kissing you a couple of times more before he leans back, his teeth catching the corner of his bottom lip, his eyes hazy as he watches the way his thumb glides across your lips. You’re about to close the gap again when he titters. “Baby,” he says, the pet name he gives you sends shivers down your spine. “You should go. We can do this a million times more when the city is safe.”

Your smile is about to break on your lips but you quickly replace it with a pout. “I hate you, Tarantula Boy.”

You pull on your web, your body returning to the air before you swing away and disappear into the night. Eren watches you still, his smile perpetual.

His lips, even if it’s only in a whisper, they form the words he’s been dying to say.

“I’m in love with you, Spider-Girl.”

***

AN: Hey, everyone, thank you for reading another chapter of my spider-girl AU ❤️ I'm so sorry if this is bad writing Ice & Fire gives me zero energy to write eren x reader fics these days 😭 but I hope you still enjoyed it hehe

Tagging: 

@l6ffys @vivi-et @halparkebitch @fwess @littlemochi @thebeardedmoon @didiyogo @coyloves @erenbean @tehehebri @justasketch @infnteen @naiomiwinchester @spiderlingh @doyochii @ahornyenby @aengelren @sakurashell @princess-jaeger @resonancesoul @blrqt @cacapeepee @persyhange @jaegersdiary @erentoes @trashygremlin04 @meed18 @j0livi0ni @snowflake-201 @jaymihawk @eva-gates @claudevonstrukesblog @sofijaeger @rinsie @blanccofiie @ereninbunu @natanialora @khinjito @jaegeriess @watermelon-online @tropicsoda @damselofblueroses @alexackrman @bblgumz @jurrasicpork @erenjaegercult @holycandypizza

[ficsforeren-tags]

Additional Taglist:

@sadtrains @somethingstranges-blog @katykat71114 @ashleighclark98 @doveblackboat

@reddidh @thedegenerateducky @loveeren @erenswife5 @rosietoesy

@xamex9 @wycliffx @calidarr9 @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @juicybuns

@silenthearts @sushiimara @yagamiryuk01 @iman-ismaillee @80s-outsiders

@itsantisocialratworld @piecksarmrest @saoirse-grace @lesfiori @nananira

Never Let Me Go - Chapter 4

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Eren Jaeger X Female Reader

Genre: Zombie Apocalypse AU, Fluff, Smut, Angst, Strangers-to-Lovers, Slow Burn, Slight Horror & Action

Series Summary: A lethal virus has killed 90% of the world’s population and turns 9.8% into zombie-like, cannibalistic mutants who are extremely vulnerable to the ultraviolet rays in sunlight. You and Eren Jaeger are both survivors crossing paths in the cruel world, but together, you’re able to find some beauty in it.

Chapter Summary: As the sun sets below the horizon, the dead roam the earth once again. With only a few knives and guns in your hands, both you and Eren have no choice but to fight back the Darkseekers. You promised each other that you’d survive this, but Eren has already bid you his final goodbye.

Content Warnings: zombies, graphic descriptions of death and murder, explicit sex (cunnilingus, blow job, fingering, hand job, car sex, abs riding, dry humping, unprotected sex, corruption kink, praise kink, etc), use of weapons (guns, knives), substance abuse (use of drugs and alcohol), traumatic past, anxiety attacks, depression, crude words, dark humor, sexual assault.

Poster art by the most talented @rainbuniart on Twitter

The moon is pale and the woods are bone-chillingly quiet.

The trees cast unnerving shadows on the road, swaying from side to side, dancing eerily from the night breeze. There are no screeching owls, no buzzing insects, no yelping frogs. Everything is silent, as if someone has muted the sounds of nature, or turned your ears deaf. The absolute stillness raises the tiny hairs on your nape, causing your inner voice to turn clamorous in your head, louder than a lion’s roar. It reminds you of the death reaper waiting on your doorstep, maybe with flesh between its teeth and dark blood dripping down its chin. 

Ghosts whisper through the wind and Eren’s rapid heartbeat is the only gravity that keeps your thoughts together. You both cuddle close in the rear middle seats, lying down with your bodies facing each other, your temple almost brushing against his collarbones. You thought it would be better to hide in the backseat but Eren reminded you that the last thing you wanted to have was trapped inside a car with a zombie as it would leave you with barely any space to fight. At least this way, you can kick the door open and run if you need to.

Your machete sticks close to your spine while your fingers curl around one of the handguns Eren has lent you. He has placed the shotgun underneath the seat, where you can both easily retrieve it in case of emergency. It holds eight shells in the magazine tube, which is not much but it serves as a reassurance. Hopefully, you won’t need to use it.

None of you dares to speak, not even in sign language. The car windows are too wide but you’ve covered them with clothes and any fabric you can find so they won’t detect your movement from the other side. But the moonlight still seeps through the little holes, painting your skin white and making you feel even more vulnerable with every intake of breath. You don’t have the bravery to take a peek through the glass. All you can do right now is just stare at the same spot of Eren’s shirt, trying to breathe as quietly as possible.

In a desperate need to soothe yourself down, you close your eyes and rewind the moment you shared with him before you both climbed into the car.

“You sure you don’t want to take my magazine?” Eren asked as he offered his spare handgun to you. “I still have three left.”

“No, I’m better with knives anyway. You can make better use of them than me.” But when you held his gun in your hand, it added more comfort than you’d expected. “I really wish we don’t have to use this.”

“We’re not going to,” he consoled you with a smile. But no matter how sweet it was, it wasn’t enough to wash your anxiety away. The sunset was stunning, possibly the most beautiful one you’d ever seen. The sky was ablaze with its fire, streaks of orange painted across cerulean blue. Under different circumstances, watching the evening sun with your lover would’ve become one of your most cherished memories but you felt like you couldn’t breathe. A certain ominous feeling shrouded you like a thick fog, erasing whatever hope you had left. Your heart was thrumming in your ears, your stomach tied in knots.

What if… this is it? You gloomily mused. What if this is the part where we die?

“Hey,” Eren’s gentle call snapped you back. “Can you re-do my hair?”

You were stunned to hear such a mundane question during a moment like this. Searching his eyes, you wondered if he felt just as terrified as you were. But even if he was, on the outside, Eren was fearless—relaxed, even, unlike how he was when he first discovered the truck blocking your path. His boyish grin refreshed your memory of the time when you were about to enter the supermarket in search of food. You remembered how you had accidentally placed your lives on the line back then too, even almost losing him in the process. But you survived, didn’t you? Maybe you could survive this one too.

‘Maybe’ is such a terrifying word. No guarantee, no certainty, only false hope.

“Sure thing, Rapunzel.” You forced yourself to be at ease, even when the load in your chest only got ten times heavier. “Squat down.”

“Why don’t we do it like this?” Instead of lowering himself, Eren scooped you up in his arms, lifting your feet off the ground. A startled gasp escaped you before you tangled your legs around his waist in reflex, your hands circling his neck to maintain your balance. His grin broke wider on his face.

“You serious?” You asked, staring flatly at him. “Did Tom Cruise do this? Are you trying to re-enact his scene again?”

“Oh my God, shut up.” He covered his embarrassment with a roll of his eyes. “I was trying to be romantic.”

“Hmm, yes, I can tell from the way you have your hands plastered against my ass.” 

“I’m just supporting your body so you won’t fall.”

“And you can’t do that without grabbing my ass?”

“It’s just easier this way, Princess.” Shamelessly, he gave you a little squeeze, making you yelp in surprise. “That was cute,” he giggled. “I didn’t know you could squeal like that. So very girly of you.”

“Ugh, you’re so annoying.” But the smile you once feigned morphed into something real. For a moment, you could forget the situation you were in. No, not forget, pretend that everything was okay. Because what if this was your last time doing this with him? Touching his hair, feeling his warmth, exchanging laughter while being in his arms like you were meant to be together for eternity. What if everything was going to end in a matter of hours—minutes, even—and this was the only chance for you to be happy?

Taking a deep breath, you tried to savor every second left.

“Okay, hold still.” Unfastening his hair tie, you carded your fingers through his strands before you tied it up in his usual bun. You patted his shoulders once you were satisfied with your work. “There, all done.”

“Yaaay.” Eren brought you back to the ground, his hands resting a few seconds longer than necessary on your waist before he released you. “Thank you, milady.”

“You’re welcome.”

He had his hand stretched out, fingers stroking the side of your face before he, as predicted, tucked your hair behind your ear. Seeing you bite your lip to prevent your grin from breaking, he asked, “What?”

“Nothing,” you answered. “It’s just… You do that a lot.”

“Do what?”

It was adorable the way he was so oblivious about it. “This.” You gestured to his hand that still lingered on your strands.

You weren’t sure if it was the sunset that painted amber on his skin or if he was simply flustered at the realization. “I’m—I’m sorry.” He retracted his hand immediately, alternating to rubbing his nape to stop him from touching you again. “It’s just…” Landing his eyes anywhere else but yours, he watched his shadow on the ground stretching out underneath his feet. “I can see your face better that way and…” He paused, a few seconds longer than necessary. 

“And?”

“You just look…” His gaze slowly drifted back to you. “So beautiful to me.”

The way he vocalized the words, the sincerity and the softness of it, made your stomach flip in delight but you kept your grin impish. “Do I look beautiful enough to make you want to kiss me?”

He noticeably gulped. “You want me to kiss you?”

You shrugged. “If you want to.”

“God, I want to.” 

In the blink of an eye, his fingers held you firmly by the side of your jaw, lifting your face as he brought his head down. His mouth crashed against yours with enough force to make you stagger on your feet, stealing a gasp from between your lips. He was pushing you against the side of the van, your spine glued to the door, your chest to his. Circling your hands around his body, you raked your fingers down his back, nails scraping against the fabric of his red leather jacket as you separated your mouth to welcome him inside. Eren was an excellent kisser, not simply because of the way he moved his lips but the way he conveyed his feelings through it, pouring his passion, affection, and devotion all at once. You could feel his emotions every time he kissed you. When he was happy, when he felt lonely, when he was needy—you could always tell. But right now, you could feel none of those three.

There was only fear. Fear of the dark, fear of dying, and ultimately, his fear of losing you.

He ended the kiss just as sudden as he started it but he kept his face close enough for his breath to caress your cheek.

“Eren—” 

He kissed you again, effectively swallowing your words even if it was as light as a feather. The sudden change of vigor in the way he touched you made your chest constrict. It was the kind of kiss that you imagined Romeo had planted on Juliet’s lips when he kissed her for the last time before he took his own life in the name of their love. You felt your heart shrivel, sadness bubbling in your chest. 

This wasn’t a kiss. This was him bidding his final goodbye.

Eren gathered you in his arms when it was over, his lips brushing against your temple once before he placed his chin on top of your head. He turned pensive, letting the silence take the lead of the conversation for a moment before he rediscovered his voice. “We should go inside,” he murmured. “It’s time.”

“Just a few seconds more.” You tightened your arms around his waist, burying your face in his chest, breathing in his scent. With your eyes closed like this, it felt like you were at home—protected and safe, drowning in the bliss that only he could offer. “Hold me just a few seconds more, Ren…”

Eren shut his lids too, relishing in the strawberry scent of your hair. “I would hold you forever if I could…”

Your forever didn’t even last ten seconds. You broke away and he rewarded you with a smile. “How are you feeling?”

“So nervous I’m about to pass out, honestly,” you said, which he reciprocated with a small chuckle. “You?”

“Well, let’s say I’m glad I’m wearing my brown pants if you know what I mean.”

“I wish I didn’t.”

Humor vanished at once the second you both stepped inside the car. Eren locked the door, exhaling a deep breath before he faced you with his jaw set. “And now we wait.”

“And now we wait.”

Eren laid himself down on the seat, his legs bent on the knees before you joined him and cuddled close. Swatting the bangs out of your eyes, he whispered, “We’ll survive this.”

“I know.” And you both knew that you were lying to each other. Nothing was certain. It was strange how you felt much braver when you were on your own, as you only had to think about yourself. Only had to fear your own death. If everything fell apart, you just had to plant your own bullet in your head and case closed. But right now… 

“Please don’t die,” you pleaded, landing your forehead on his chest. I don’t know what I’m going to do without you.

As much as he wanted to promise you so, he couldn’t. “I promise you I will never let you go,” Eren said instead. “I’ll protect you with my life.”

“No.” You shook your head. “No, don’t say that. I want you to focus on saving yourself tonight.”

“But—”

“If I see you losing focus because of me and something happens to you—I will never be able to forgive myself.” You tilted your chin upward, meeting his gaze with your consuming one. “Do whatever it is necessary to survive. I know how to fight. I can protect myself. So if you want to promise me something, Eren, promise me that you’ll stay alive. Promise me that and I’ll promise you the same thing.”

You knew Eren could see the fear and uncertainty that were written in your eyes, but you didn’t care. You wouldn’t let him say otherwise.

“Okay,” he said, embracing you close but you stopped him before he could.

You raised your little finger in the air. “Promise me.”

His smile was frail but he hooked his finger around yours. “I promise.”

You’re not sure how many hours have passed since you both laid down in that position but it feels like years. Eren suggested you to sleep as he took the first watch, but you couldn’t catch a wink. You’re in the middle of running through your thoughts, going through multiple different scenarios to prepare yourself for the worst when your ears perk up at the slightest noise. The sound of leaves dancing in the wind. The creaking sounds of branches being stepped on. The footsteps on the ground.

Then the snarlings.

You lift your face at the same time Eren tucks his chin, locking his gaze with yours. They’re here. Stay alert. You nod in silence, all your muscles tautening at once as you feel the suspense choking you. The noises grow louder with each second passing by, driving you even more to the edge. You can feel your heart rising to your throat, the weight in your chest suffocating you. Eren shifts his hand from your waist to your ear, pressing his palm against it so he can muffle their eerie growls along with the sound of their feet being dragged across the concrete. You both keep your eyes on each other, communicating in silence and bated breath. 

Don’t move. Don’t make a sound. We’ll be okay.

He speaks with his eyes and you chant the words like prayers in your head, hoping your inner voice would sound louder than their wails. Your fingers tighten around your weapon, and Eren does the same with the handgun resting in his right palm. He’s taken the bandage off his hand, wearing both of his leather fingerless gloves just like you, as he can’t afford to have his gun slipping off his grip. None of you lift a muscle. None of you should, because by the sound of it, there are more than three of them outside. 

Their footsteps grow fainter, but you don’t let your heart rest easy. Not yet. Not until sunray can pierce through their decayed skin. How many minutes or hours are left till the break of dawn? You wonder anxiously. If they find out we’re here, we’ll—

A hand smashes against your window, hard enough that the sound rumbles through the night like a thunderclap. No matter how much you’ve prepared yourself for it, your body still jolts in reflex. Eren slaps one hand against your mouth, his eyes shaking in horror. 

Be still.

You let out a shuddering breath through your nose, eyes closing shut when the same hand slams again, repeating the motion. One of the shirts that you used as a curtain slips off the handgrip, leaving one window exposed. The moonlight drenches your bodies, your presence exposed.

They can see us. The terror in your eyes says it all. Eren, they can see us! What are we going to do?

You see him swallow, his bottom lip quivering. You both try to breathe as little as possible. Maybe if we play dead, they won’t notice we’re here. Three seconds pass by in silence with invisible hands strangling your necks. You wish you could hear their footsteps marching away but what you hear is another thunderous bang.

And the window starts to crack. 

The Darkseeker is now hammering its head against the glass, again and again, and again until your biggest fear transforms into reality. Lured by the noises, another Darkseeker appears on the other side of the car, slamming its entire body against the door, growling like a starving beast. The car is being rocked back and forth. They know.

You both sit upright at the same time, adrenaline pumping through your veins. With the ruckus they’re making, they’re only going to attract more of them to your spot. “We need to kill them fast!” Eren shouts, snatching the clothes away from the windows. “Aim for their heads. We can’t afford to waste bullets or we’ll—”

You both freeze in an instant, petrified to your bones.

There are five of them. Then six. Then seven. Then you stop counting.

They’re slamming heads and blood-stained hands against the windows. Without needing words to communicate, you aim the gun to your right while Eren aims to his left. Drawing a sharp breath, you both pull the trigger at the same time.

Two bullets pierce through the windows, tempered glasses shattering into tiny, blunt pieces at once. Eren’s lead makes a nest on its head but he already shoots another one before its body hits the ground, targeting another Darkseeker that tries to break inside through the opening. He’s always better with his aim than you are, and it’s easier to land a clean shot when these corpses are plastered against the window. Three bullets are shot and three corpses lay cold on the ground, cloudy white eyes staring vacantly at the moon. 

Though not as successful, you manage to shoot two right in the heads, wasting a couple more bullets than Eren did. But without the glass separating you, they can easily break through. A Darkseeker lunges toward you, its body leaning halfway inside the window before another one follows. The cracking sound of their bones can be heard as they try to fit through the frames, four hands stretching out, clawing against your chest. You shoot another bullet, the metal pierces through its brain, sending the first body to slide down the window. As if triggered, the other Darkseeker drives itself in with more force, its fingers clamp tightly around your wrist, making it impossible for you to point your gun. Opening the car handle with your free hand, you kick the door open with as much strength as you can muster, sending the corpse to fall on its back. You jump out of the car, aiming the gun at its head, and ending its life for good. You’re about to breathe in relief when a zombie jumps from the roof, tackling you down to the concrete.

Eren hears your surprised screech and his blood runs cold but he can’t afford to lose focus, not when a Darkseeker is close enough to spray saliva on his face. He takes a shot only to find that he’s run out of bullets. Cursing under his breath, Eren unlocks the door, pushing it open with brute force until the two of them topple to the ground. With hasty hands, he snatches a loaded magazine from his thigh harness, jamming it into the gun. But a Darkseeker grabs a hold of his leg, yanking him out of the car before he can take his aim.

You are separated, fighting your own battles, protecting your own lives. Eren is facing two Darkseekers at once, while you’re trapped underneath a zombie who’s twice your size. The corpse tries to bite your neck but you push your gun inside its mouth. You pull the trigger but there’s only a click that can be heard. The Darkseeker slaps the pistol out of your hand and you’re panicking. In this position, with your back pressed flat against the pavement, your machete is out of reach. You have a knife glued against the side of your thigh, but you need both of your hands to keep the zombie away. 

You can hear gunshots from the other side of the car, and for a split second, you feel relieved, knowing that Eren is still alive and fighting. You try to roll your opponent over to its back, using the same method you used to knock Eren off of you during your first encounter. But the zombie is much stronger, much bigger, and you’re losing your strength. The hands you land on its chest to keep its teeth away from your skin are growing weaker by the second. 

Eren, help!

You grind your jaw, teeth-gritting as you try to restrain yourself from saying it out loud. You don’t want him to lose focus, not when his life's on the line. But the Darkseeker’s weight is crushing your body, making it almost impossible for you to breathe. How much longer can you keep this up? 

Eren feels like his heart is about to break through his rib cages. He’s taking too long, and you haven’t made a sound. Please, he begs in his head. Please be okay. 

Another Darkseeker attacks from his blind spot, wrapping its arm around his neck from behind, getting ready to latch his teeth on his shoulder. Moving purely on instinct, Eren snatches another gun from his belt and shoves its barrel against the underside of its jaw. He pulls the trigger, the shot deafens him as his bullet makes a hole through its mouth before it punctures its brain.

Two more, he breathes out heavily, his ears ringing. Two more and I’ll be there to save you.

With two pistols in each hand, he aims them both toward the Darkseekers’ chests. Usually, he would remind himself not to spend more bullets than necessary but his desperation to save you dulls his ability to think straight. He can’t waste a second. He needs to know if you’re okay. Their movements are too fast and he knows better to aim at their chests instead of their heads as it would reduce the chances of him missing his shots. He pulls the triggers repeatedly, shooting two bullets at the same time, watching the way they drill holes in their bodies. He can’t kill them on his first try but he tries again and again until eventually, the bullets find home in their hearts and they collapse to the ground. Both handguns in his hands are now empty but he doesn’t stop to reload. He doesn’t have time. Eren doesn’t even let himself breathe. 

Pivoting on his heels, he dashes toward your spot, his eyes largening in dread when he sees a Darkseeker’s face hovering just a couple of inches from your neck. With that much adrenaline rushing to his head, his brain stops functioning. All he knows is that in a matter of seconds, that zombie will have your flesh between its teeth and it will be over for you both. Instead of jamming another magazine, Eren tosses his guns away and charges forward. He tackles the Darkseeker by its waist, their bodies rolling on the ground, his skull slammed against the hard concrete. 

You spin to your stomach, coughing and gasping loudly for air. Blood as dark as the night painted your faces and soaked your clothes but you don’t taste copper on your tongue. You’re safe.

But Eren is not. He’s pinned to the ground, his hands gripping tightly around the zombie’s wrists, trying to fend it off. His hold slips and the Darkseeker sinks its teeth into his shoulder. “Fuck!”

There’s no time for you to look for his gun. Dashing to his spot, you reach for your machete and you plunge it against its back, driving it straight to its heart. Within two seconds, the Darkseeker’s body falls limp above him and the night suddenly turns quiet again. That zombie was the last one of them. 

“Eren!” You sink to your knees, using both hands to push its body away from him. With frantic hands and shaky eyes, you hurriedly check on him, forcing him to sit on the ground with your hands fisting his shirt. He hisses, groaning lowly as he places a hand to cover his shoulder.

Your fear coils in your stomach, so much, that you can feel the world shaking before it narrows down to one thing: Eren’s face turning as pasty as the moon. You weren’t even trembling this hard when you nearly had your life taken away. 

“Let me—” You swallow thickly. “Let me take a look.” 

Eren releases his grip from his shoulder, letting you push back his leather jacket to examine the injury. You hold your breath, screaming prayers inside your head. Please. God, please, don’t let there be bite marks on him. I beg you.

With his jacket falling loose on his shoulders, you drag the collar of his white shirt to the side. Its teeth were sharp enough to tear his jacket apart, but they didn’t impale his skin, only leaving angry red marks on his shoulder. It takes you a couple of seconds to let it sink in before you can finally breathe again.

“Oh, thank God,” you whimper, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and cradling his head close. He’s not bitten. He’s not bitten. He’s okay. We’re okay. You can’t form a word no matter how ear-splitting your thoughts are. You just embrace him tightly with all the strength you can muster, teeth grinding as you prevent yourself from crying. Knowing that he’s safe—that he’s still here, warm and breathing in your arms—feels a million times more relieving than the fact that you’re still alive.

A bit baffled by how you act, Eren returns your hug and cards his fingers through your hair. “Princess..?”

“You’re okay,” you say, burying your face in the crook of his neck. “You’re not bitten.” We can still be together.

He smiles timidly to himself. “Still hurts like hell, though.”

“Yeah, no kidding,” you try to laugh through your tears. Quickly erasing them away with the pad of your thumb, you pull away, grabbing him firmly by his upper arms. “Why didn’t you use your gun?”

“I was—I didn’t think there would be enough time for me to reload—”

“So you just threw yourself at it?!” You almost bark, startling him with the sudden change in your attitude. “Eren, that was such a reckless thing to do! You’re lucky you’re not bitten!”

“I panicked.” He reaches out a hand to stroke your cheek. “I thought I was going to lose you.”

You can relate, of course. If the roles were reversed, you would’ve done the same thing but it doesn’t change the fact that he almost sacrificed his own life for your sake. “Thank you for saving my life,” you say. “But don’t you ever try to save me like that again, okay? If a situation like this happens again, I want you to run.”

“And live the rest of my life without you? Don’t be ridiculous.”

“At least you could live. You promised me that.”

“It only feels like living when I’m with you,” he says, fingers framing your face. “Princess—”

You stop him by gripping tightly around his wrist. “You’re saying you’d rather die?”

“What will you do then?” He challenges, peering deep into your eyes. “Will you abandon me if that’s the case?”

You tighten your jaw, releasing a harsh breath. Running away from the topic, you swat his hair away from his eyes, observing his features with your gaze turning tender. “How are you feeling?”

“Could’ve been better,” he replies, still a little bit out of breath, just like you. “My palm is bleeding again.” You notice a few trails of fresh blood running down his wrist, staining his jacket’s sleeve.

“Okay. I’ve got some bandages we can use. Right now, we just need…to…” Your words die on your tongue as you look past Eren’s shoulder. There, in the distance, perhaps a few hundred meters away from you, are Darkseekers. There are more than you’ve ever seen gathered in one place. Twenty, no—maybe thirty. And they’re running.

They’re running toward you.

Your adrenaline rush kicks back in, dilating your pupils, and heightening your senses. With your heart rate increasing rapidly, you yank Eren back to his feet. He’s paralyzed by the sight of the Darkseekers sprinting at such high speed he’s never seen humans do. 

“Focus!” You snap at him. “Grab your guns and get into the car!”

“How are we going to—”

“Now!”

Eren complies with cold sweat breaking on his temples. But the second he takes a step forward, pain shoots through his entire body like a knife tearing his skin apart. His heart drops as he looks down, eyes glued to his right ankle. Is it broken? Or is it just a sprain? He can’t tell. The only thing he knows is that he won’t be able to run fast. And when you can’t run… 

You’re just as good as dead. 

Fuck. He tries to fight through the stinging ache, focusing on gathering his guns from the ground and returning to the car. You don’t notice the way he limps as you hasten to the other side of the vehicle. Throwing himself at the passenger's seat, Eren jams the magazines into his handguns, preparing for the worst. You sit behind the steering wheels, shoving your car key inside the hole and the engine blares through the night. You’re going to attract even more of them, but you don’t care. This is the only way you can think of to survive.

“What are you going to do?” Eren asks, fighting the chaos of his fear.

“I’m gonna run them over.” Your voice, unlike his, is surprisingly calm. “Put on your seatbelt.”

“What?!” But despite his protest, he does as he’s told. “There’s like thirty of them—we can’t just—”

“I’m not gonna sit here and die!” 

You step on the gas, driving your foot all the way down. The sudden rise of velocity sends you both backward, bodies plastered against the seats, your heart racing just as fast. You’re getting closer to them, your headlights shining across their rotten flesh. With the distance provided, your speed manages to reach seventy miles per hour before— “Hold on!”

A moment of impact. In three. Two. 

One.

It’s shockingly jarring and loud when you crash against them, your fingers tightening around your steering wheel so you wouldn’t lose control. Most of the Darkseekers are thrown back, tossed to the side of the road while some of them are hurled forward to the hood of your car. “Shoot them!” you shout, but Eren already has his guns ready in both hands.

One bullet pierces through the glass and the windshield shatters. Shots after shots are taken repetitively, each one goes straight to their heads. Bodies are being smashed under the tires and you don’t slow down. Eren pulls his trigger again but it ends with a click. “Fuck, I’m out of bullets!”

“The shotgun!” You remind him and he unlocks his seatbelt, reaching over to the middle seat to retrieve it. 

A Darkseeker crawls over to your seat from the bonnet and you drive your spear point knife through its face. It’s enough to blind its vision but not deep enough to tear through its brain. Its hand latches around your wrist, almost causing you to swerve the vehicle abruptly. “Eren!”

It’s your luck that he’s returned to his seat just in time. Raising the gun in firing position, he takes a shot and its brain scatters apart. Now lifeless, the body rolls off the hood before it falls and meets the earth.

“Thank you,” you vocalize, your body still trembling in fright. “That was a close one.”

“Don’t mention it.”

You are now ahead of them. Those Darkseekers you ran over, they’re not dead, not until they have their heads smashed to pieces. Some of their limbs are crushed, bones fractured, necks bent in the wrong direction, but it does nothing to them as they no longer have the ability to feel pain. They rise back to their feet, chasing after you.

“We’re just gonna have to drive until the sun comes out,” you utter. “How many bullets do you have left?”

Pumping his shotgun, Eren heavily answers with, “Seven.”

“Fuck.” There are no Darkseekers ahead of you but there are more than fifty behind, chasing after your trail, sprinting out of the woods. “How much longer till sunrise?”

He checks on his phone. “Fifty-two minutes.”

Your eyes automatically drift down to check on the lines on the gas gauge. Eren, watching you from the side, notices the way you’re swallowing your breath. “How much fuel do we have left?”

“We have enough,” you say, though the shiver in your voice betrays you. 

Eren returns his gaze to the road, his jaws clenched tight. He tries to think of ways, not to save his life but yours. “Okay, listen. If the car stops before then, I’ll go out and distract them—”

“We have enough fuel.”

“—in the meantime, you can run toward the woods and hide—”

“Eren—”

“—I won’t be able to fend them off for too long, but I can at least give you a few minutes to—”

“Eren!” Your scream is blood-curdling, silencing him at once. “We’re not going to die, you hear me?” You keep your eyes on the path before you, forced to reduce your speed to forty miles per hour as it would be risky to go faster than that on a serpentine road. “We’ve got enough fuel until sunrise. And even if we don’t, I won’t leave you.”

“Princess—”

“Damn it, you said you wouldn’t let me go!”

“What I meant was I wouldn’t abandon you!” He shouts back, sounding as desperate and as frustrated as you are. “And that’s what I’m doing now! I’m trying to save your life—”

“Well, I’m not leaving you!” It’s almost a sob that comes out of your mouth, startling you both. You don’t expect yourself to break down to tears, but you’ve only ever felt this scared one time in your life before, and that was on the day you decided to drive your knife through your sister’s heart. “I’m not going to leave anyone again!” Hot tears line down your cheeks, running over the dry blood that coats your skin. “I’m not leaving. I’m not letting you go. I’d rather die than—” You choke, your throat constricting. “I will never…” Losing strength, your voice wavers like something seen through water. “I’ll never let you go, Eren… Please don't do this to me, I beg you…”

Eren’s heart thrums painfully in his chest. Only now does he realize that you see him in the same way he sees you. You both value each other’s life more than your own. It’s better to die together than to live by yourself, shrouded in guilt, drowning in regrets. It’s just not an option you can choose.

“Okay…” he says, wetting his lips. “Okay, we’ll stick together.”

You harshly wipe the rest of your tears away with the back of your hand. “We’ll survive this.”

He nods, chanting the same prayer in his head. “We’ll survive this.”

***

The car’s engine starts to sputter, yet the sun remains still in its slumber.

A wave of panic crashes through you but you don’t let it be seen on your face. You’re not fooling anyone else, however, as Eren takes a deep breath and says, “We need to pull over.”

“No.” To your luck, the narrow, winding road has ended, leaving you with only a straight path to take where you can accelerate your car to the maximum speed. 

“Don’t,” he reminds you as you step further on the gas. “If the engine dies—” 

Hydraulic power to the brakes and steering die with it. “I know, but it’s not like I’m planning to stop anyway.”

Funny how you criticize him for being reckless when you’re doing exactly the same thing, probably ten times more dangerous. How laughable would it be if you survived the zombie apocalypse just to die in a car crash? 

You take a glance through the rear-view mirror, trying to see if the corpses are still chasing after you. They’re far behind now, their presence invisible to your eyes. But it will only take less than twenty minutes for them to catch up, you assume. And what if other Darkseekers are lurking ahead of you? What are you going to do when the car stops?

You’ve only begun to think of a solution when you notice a loss in power. No, you beg internally. No. No. No. Please, the sun isn’t out yet.

Eren inspects your expression closely from the side, not saying a word as he can feel his own dread rising to his throat, but he has expected the worst outcome. Unlike you who’s been drenching yourself with hope, he’s given up a long time ago. Right now, he just wishes he could find a way to save you.

The engine dies and it takes a few minutes more before the car finally puts into a complete stop. With tremors in your hands, you unfasten your seatbelt. “We need to run,” you say through chattering teeth, leaning over to the middle seat to snatch your backpack. “If we’re lucky, we can find another car that works. If not, we can hide in the woods. We can climb a tree or something.” You’re not sure if it would work, but zombies are unable to use common sense as humans do as their brains no longer function. They have fast reflexes, strong instincts but you just need to outsmart them to survive. If you can get to a higher ground where they can’t reach, perhaps you can wait until the sun comes out. And you’ll be okay.

We will be okay.

You jump off your seat, placing back your machete to the back of your shirt before you hurriedly march to his side of the van. Eren steps down with his left foot, supporting himself with one hand on the door before he swings his other leg. As expected, he cannot bear his weight on his ankle. He tries to keep a straight face but you notice the pain that crosses his eyes. 

“What?” you ask him, your eyes boring into his. “What happened?”

“I think I broke my ankle,” he utters, stiffening you with his answer. 

“How bad is it?”

“Bad enough for me to be a burden to you.”

You clench your fists. “It’s okay. I won’t abandon you.”

He feebly smiles. “I know.” Which is why this feels ten times worse for me, he adds with regret.

Eren has given up on arguing about it with you. If this is your last moment together, he wouldn’t want to spend it by painting tears in your eyes. He wouldn’t want his name to be spoken through gritted teeth. So he lets you wrap an arm around his waist while he lands his right one across your shoulders. He leaves his bag but he carries his shotgun with him, slinging it securely on his left shoulder. With your lead, he takes a step forward and he stumbles, almost falling to one knee if you weren’t there to catch him. “Sorry,” he says, ashamed for being so powerless. He wanted to protect you and here he is, being nothing more than a liability.

Except you don’t think of him that way, and you never will. He’s your life savior, in more ways than one. He’s the glue that keeps your sanity intact, the gravity that keeps you standing on the ground. Here, being shrouded in his arms, is exactly where you want to be. “It’s alright. Just match your stride with mine,” you advise gently. “One step at a time, okay? No need to rush.”

No need to rush. If only he could find the strength to laugh. Eren nods and he does as he’s told, trying to sync his movements with yours. It’s awkward at first, but once you’ve managed to pass it, you start picking up your pace and maintain it when you both have found your rhythm.  

The first sight of lightness comes into view. A small portion of the sun's rays illuminate the sky and the fainter stars begin to disappear. “Twilight,” you sigh in relief. “It won’t take long until sunrise. We can survive this.”

“Yeah.”

Eren’s palm still bleeds, dripping fresh blood all over the pavement. You wish you could stop for a moment and treat it with care, but you have to keep yourself moving. If you can survive for another twenty minutes, you will be safe. Anything else can come after that.

You’re counting the minutes that pass by in your head. Six, seven—twelve minutes have passed. “Just a little bit more,” you keep saying the words to keep yourself sane. Not sure why, but the panic that once has receded comes crashing back in like waves under a heavy storm, submerging you with it. “Just a little bit more, Ren.”

He keeps himself mute, cold sweat sliding down to his chin. Anything can happen in a matter of seconds, let alone minutes. He wishes he could feel safe, but he can’t. He’s terrified.

And when you stop dead on your tracks, your body frozen as if you were icebound to the ground, the fear in his chest doubled by tenfolds.

You can hear their rapid footsteps. They’re closing in.

And they’re closing in fast.

As your breathing turns labored, you take a look at your side. There are pine trees you can climb, but how can you get him up there? You’re not strong enough to pull him up, and he can barely stand on his own feet.

Fuck, what am I going to do?

Eren’s heart breaks at the sight of you biting hard on your lip to the point it almost bleeds as you switch from one scenario to another. “Princess—”

“Shut up,” you snap back, already figuring out what he’s going to say. “I’m not abandoning you.” You spin your head around, facing him. “But we have to run. Can you endure the pain for a moment?”

He gives you two firm nods and you both race as fast as you can. Eren feels like his ankle is about to snap like a twig, crushed underneath the pressure. It’s fucking painful, every step he takes feels like he’s walking on daggers. He groans in agony, and you hold him closer to your body. “I’m sorry, just a bit more.” Their growlings reach your ears, just as strident as your increasing heartbeat but you keep yourself focused. 

“Princess!” Eren shouts, terror in his voice. “We can’t outrun them!” 

He’s right. There is no other way. Stopping abruptly, you spin on your heels, snatching your machete from your belt. “Then, we’ll fight back,” you say, jaw clenching at the sight of Darkseekers sprinting towards you. They are not as many as they were before, probably ten or twelve, chasing after you at different speeds. But you only have seven bullets and a few knives. Eren can no longer fight and your legs are shaking underneath your weight due to exhaustion. There’s no way you can win this. This is it. This is the end. 

You think your body will start trembling in fear, but it doesn’t.

You think that when the grim reaper stands before you, his scythe ready to swing right through your neck, you’ll start pleading for him to spare your life. But you don’t. You’re not afraid of him. You welcome him like an old friend.

Because you’re not alone anymore, are you? Eren is here. And maybe just like him, it’s not death that you’re terrified of. It’s loneliness. It’s the feeling of surviving just to exist, without any purpose, without any emotions. When you met him, everything changed. With him, you’ve found everything you wanted to make your life worth living. 

It was a good life, these last five months you’ve shared with him. You were happy, weren’t you?

I was, you smile to yourself. I truly am happy.

So, there you are, standing with your hands steady. You take a step forward, bracing yourself as you shield him with your body. He’s shouting something at you, perhaps telling you to escape or stay behind him like always. His voice rings clamorously through the air, but to you, he sounds like he’s underwater, trying to mouth the words that you can’t hear. Your thoughts are louder, and they don’t speak a word of fear. They only speak of regret.

You wish you could say a word or two, maybe bid him goodbye, or tell him how grateful you are for his presence. For giving you so much joy, more than you deserve. For taking care of you. For loving you. But you’re running out of time.

Ah, you realize, as a Darkseeker, one that runs the fastest among others, lunges himself toward you. I haven’t told him I loved him yet.

Eren’s gunshot blares through the sky as you fall onto your back. The corpse hovers above you, its teeth dripping saliva but you slice its throat with your knife and kick its body away with your knee. Eren takes a few more shots, shooting each one right on the head as you prepare yourself for another. Two more zombies hurl themselves toward you, sending you both to the ground almost at the same time, his shotgun trapped between its teeth, your machete plunged deep into its chest but not quite hitting its heart.

They said during a near-death event, your life would flash before your eyes but now you see that it’s not true. You don’t see your entire past spooling out before you. You don’t see a replay of all the most significant moments in your life. You only see him.

Eren.

You see his smile and his adorable crooked teeth that peek behind his impish grin whenever he leaves you baffled with his witty retort. You see his eyes, emerald with flecks of strength—the kind of green that comes only as summer advances. You see his kindness, his adoration, and the love he holds for you, the fire of his passion that almost burned him whole—the same passion that consumed you just as much only a night ago.

And you wish you could turn back time and respond to his confession with honesty. Because the truth is, all those words he said to you—about how he missed you every second of the day, how he thought about you both in his wake and his dreams—you feel that too. When the words “There’s no life without you,” slipped out of his mouth, you heard them well and you felt it so much within your heart that you wondered if it was you who spoke the words. 

Eren gives your life meaning. He gives you more happiness than you could take.

I should’ve told him, is the only thing you can think of when you feel your stamina decreasing fast. I should’ve told him that I’d been in love with him too. 

God, I wish I could tell him now.

The zombie is clawing its nails against the front of your throat, your machete stuck between rotten flesh. Maybe it’s time to give up. You’ve fought long enough. Maybe you can use yourself as a distraction. You’re not sure how, but if you can at least give Eren a chance to escape, then it would be worth it. You just need to—

Time stands still. Suddenly, all you can hear is your ragged breathing.

The Darkseekers stop moving. They raise their heads, their white eyes staring straight at the horizon, their jaws hanging low on their faces, black saliva dribbling down their chins. They begin to wail then they run away abruptly, scattering into the woods, desperate to find shades to protect themselves from sunlight. It happens so fast that it leaves you both stunned. 

What just happened?

You and Eren are left panting on the ground. The rising sun casts a rosy hue across the morning sky, its first rays lighting up your skin. 

Sunrise.

You tilt your head to the side, catching Eren doing the same thing at the same time. Locking gazes, he mumbles out, “We’re alive…” He sounds like he’s in disbelief, his body is still in shock like he’s been trapped in a nightmare for so long and he’s woken up by a slap.

You’re not any better. Perhaps it’s because your heartbeat is slowing down significantly that you start to feel delirious. Or maybe it’s because your adrenaline rush is dissipating so fast from your veins, that it leaves you incapable of thinking straight. Because out of all the words you can say, you find your lips forming the three words you didn’t think you were allowed to state.

“I love you.”

Eren’s eyes widen at once, his breath leaving him as his lips part in a silent gasp. For the first three seconds, that’s all he can do. His eyes shake as they peer deep into yours, trying to unravel your every secret but he realizes he doesn’t have to. You’ve laid everything out in the open. For once, you let yourself be as transparent as the dew that kisses the leaves in the morning. You let him peer into your soul, let him understand that you're saying the words not simply because you almost died with regret for not saying them out loud. You say it because you feel it in your bones. You say it because you love him. 

And once he understands that, his expression changes. “I love you.”

You both meet each other halfway, bodies lying on your sides, faces trapped between eager hands as you capture each other’s lips. “I love you.” Tears dampen your eyelashes as you whimper the words, your lips moving against his smile. “I love you.” You sound like a broken record to your ears, but it’s a lullaby that he’ll remember until his last dying breath. 

I really love you, Eren.

He responds to each one with the same words followed by a whisper of your name, and you can feel it. This joy, this sense of completion as if you have finally achieved what you’ve been searching for your whole life. For the first time, you allow yourself to feel the happiness that he paints on your lips. You receive the affection that he carves into your heart, and you accept the love he gives you.

You accept the love that you deserve.

***

Eren has survived more near-death experiences than a person could have in a lifetime. Every time he did, he always questioned himself: Why do I have to try so hard to live? Why can’t I just let myself die? What’s the point of surviving when the whole world burns to ashes?

Will it have any meaning if I live through another day?

Today, he finally can answer his questions with yes, I’m glad that I’m alive. I’m glad that I can still bask under the sun, to have air in my lungs, to feel like I still have a soul inside me. To feel like I’m human.

And if he closes his eyes, all he can see is you. You make me feel human again.

You’ve brought him hope, his sense of purpose. Eren no longer lives to survive. He lives to spend every second of every hour he has left with you, creating memories, exchanging love and passion, and neverending bliss. He wants to embrace these feelings for the rest of his life—engulfed with joy, a sense of relief, and endless gratitude. He doesn’t feel like he just escaped death. He feels like he’s being reborn.

And God, it has never felt this good to be alive.

Eren looks to his side, blatantly staring at you with a goofy smile on his face. He’s dumbstruck—no, lovestruck at the sight of you. You’re the woman who stayed with him till the end, the woman who fought till her last breath, protecting him with no fear written in your eyes. You’re the woman that he loves, and the woman that loves him back. The woman that nurtures the flickering spark of hope inside his chest into a blazing flame. The woman that allows him to do the same to you.

“What?” You ask him with your cheeks burning bright, knowing that he’s watching you closely. You keep your eyes on the road with both hands on the steering wheels of your newly discovered SUV. It’s an old Chevrolet with dents all over the car but you consider yourself lucky enough to even be able to find one. It has enough fuel for you both to reach Aspen Pine before noon. You can find another car in the city if you need to. 

“Nothing,” Eren replies, still smiling sheepishly to himself. “I’m just, uh… Hoping you’ll say it again.”

“Say what again?”

“You know…” He scratches his nose, the blush that blooms on his face matches the pinkish glow of sunrise bursting through the clouds. “The three words you said to me earlier.”

Your ears are buzzing from how much blood is pooling on your face. An hour has passed since you both confessed your feelings to each other and yet, it feels like a decade has gone by where it becomes awkward for you to restate the words. Funny how you have all the bravery to face flesh-eating monsters, but when it comes to showing affection, you’re curling yourself into a ball of shame. 

“What three words?” You switch gears. “Any three words? Like, ‘Shut up, stupid?’ Or ‘You’re so annoying?’ Or maybe ‘Keep saying that and I’m gonna kick you out of my car?’”

He pouts—actually pouts like a child. “The last line isn’t even three words.”

“It is if you split them into four parts.”

“Ugh,” he groans, rolling his eyes. “Princess, you said it, like, ten times in a row an hour ago.”

Your cheeks are replaced by fire at this point. “Well, then you’ve heard enough to keep yourself satisfied for a lifetime.”

“I want to hear it!” You thought it would be impossible for a 193-cm tall brawny man to whine like a three-year-old, but there he is. “Can’t you just say it one more time?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“‘Cause, it’s embarrassing.”

“Then I’ll say it first. You can just reply to me right after.” He said that but you can see him releasing a shaky breath from the corner of your eye, trying to mentally prepare himself. Although he has thought about them for months, the words still feel foreign in his head, let alone on his tongue. But Eren turns his body to face you, his gaze intense enough to burn holes. “I love you,” he says, sounding too formal and rigid to be romantic. It even feels a bit ridiculous, but you’re too nervous to laugh.

You tighten your jaw, your lips are pressed tight into a white line. You can’t. No matter how much you try, you can’t just say the line like that. It’s just so uncharacteristic of you to do so.

Eren waits with a palpitating heart. He feels like he just confessed to you all over again, not knowing whether you’d reject or accept his feelings. When three seconds pass by in silence, his blush smears right to his ears. “W-why are you not saying anything?!”

“Because it’s embarrassing!”

“But now I look like an idiot!”

“You are an idiot,” you retort, holding back the laughter that bubbles inside your chest.

His face matches the color of his red leather jacket. “Stop laughing!”

“I’m—” You clasp your lips tightly when you feel a giggle threatening to break free. “I’m not laughing.”

“Fine, you know what? I’m not gonna say it again until you say it first,” Eren says with a loud huff, throwing his face to the side and grousing like a child with his arms folded on his chest. 

“Fine by me.”

A muscle in his jaw twitches. Glaring at the scenery outside his window, he grumbles under his breath. “Whatever. You’re an idiot.”

“I’m an idiot?” You blurt out, your tone full of mirth. “For what, for not saying I love you?”

You fall into his trap. Without knowing, you say the words he wants to hear, even if the rest of your sentence contradicts its meaning. “I love you too,” Eren says within a split second, beaming at you with a boyish grin. “See, that wasn’t so hard, was it?”

“I wasn’t—oh, shut up.” You spit back, tossing him a bar of Snickers to refill the calories he’d burned. You couldn’t carry much stuff in your backpack during your move, only a bottle of antibiotic ointment, some bandages to treat your wounds, a few bottles of water, some carbohydrate bars, and Eren’s favorite snack: Snickers. “Go get some sleep. Aspen Pine is still an hour away.”

“Okay.”

“I’ll stop by at a gas station to get us something better to eat, then we’ll find a house to stay in.”

“Okay.”

“And maybe by then,” you sigh, noticing that he’s still looking at you with the same dopey look on his face. “You can stop staring at me.”

Eren isn’t listening to you. He hasn’t been for a while. “Okay.”

“Ren.”

“Hmm?”

“Stop staring at me!”

“I’m not staring at you,” he tries to argue. “I’m trying to sleep by staring at you.”

“That’s it.” You snatch back his snickers bar with one hand—which he only took a bite from—and wolf everything down in one try. “There. Now, you can eat air for the rest of the day.”

“Wha—Princessssss!”

***

“I thought we were going to the lake?” Eren asks one and a half hours later as you drive past the final exit sign, indicating that you’re now at the border of Aspen Pine. But instead of taking the right turn as you’re supposed to, you’re taking left, changing lanes, and heading toward a new direction.

“There’s a small town nearby,” you answer, taking a gulp of water. Both you and Eren have finished your first bottles, leaving you only with one more each. You need to make a stop soon. “It’s only half an hour away from here. We need to find some weapons. Going through people’s houses will take too much time. I’m sure they have some guns and spare magazines we can steal at the police station.”

“Ah, yeah, that’s a good idea.”

Rather than being a good idea, it’s more likely to be the only option you can choose. Knowing that he can barely walk, it would be suicide for both of you to enter uncharted territories without a gun in his hands. You’re not sure you can protect him with your stomach growling and your muscles begging for some rest either. 

No houses are in sight as you steer through an empty road, only woods surrounding you, with the sharp, sweet, refreshing scent of pine trees and conifers tickling your nostrils. Combined with Eren’s soft breathing as he falls asleep with his arms crossed and his skull resting against the headrest, you can finally have a moment of serenity to yourself. 

That is until you can sense the smell of rotting flesh in the air.

“Eren,” you wake him up with a gentle call. “We’re here.”

The brunette male rubs his eyes away from sleep, squinting them to adjust to the morning light. His body tenses the second his nose picks up the smell. “Darkseekers?” He questions with a frown. “Can’t be. The sun is out.”

You don’t answer him. Slowing down the vehicle, you keep yourself alert to your surroundings, eyes scanning every part your vision can reach.

 Welcome to Ash Ville, a road sign says. We hope you’ll enjoy your stay.

You prepare yourself, inhaling and exhaling. You’re about to march into a town you’ve never stepped a foot in, and as much as it is nice to travel to someplace new, you’re shrouded in nothing but dread. If there’s one thing you’re certain of, not every town stays the same as it was before the outbreak. And within a few minutes, you’re about to find out you're right.

Blockades surround the town, made from barbed wires with thorns and spikes, stained with blood and pieces of rotting, human flesh. “They must have taken their own measures to contain the outbreak the second they heard about what happened in other countries,” Eren says, with which you silently agree. “It was smart of them to think that fast.”

The people in this town had built security perimeters, blocking every entrance to get to the city hall except the main gate. One that you assume used to have local officers identifying each person entering the town. The stone walls are certainly strong enough to keep the Darkseekers away, but the black wrought iron fences, which you thought would’ve been impenetrable, are destroyed, pushed with hard enough forces that they tore open the doors.

You decrease your velocity to twenty miles per hour, trying to find a police station or a supermarket nearby as you drive past the gate. A few meters in, you notice something. 

The people in this town didn’t die from the outbreak. The virus had never gotten to them.

They were massacred.

Shivers run down your body as you see corpses after corpses lying down on the street. It’s not the first time you’ve seen something like this. The virus used to be airborne. Once it was inhaled into your lungs, it would attack your body from the inside, and if you were weak, you’d explode, almost quite literally, within minutes after infection. Blood would seep through your pores and your body would decompose so fast, that it would only take less than 24 hours for your skeleton to show. The blood would turn black and it would stain the pavements as if the night had melted and drenched the earth.  

But that is not what happened here. The ground that stands before your eyes right now is painted crimson.

“The Darkseekers must have managed to break through the gate.” Eren’s voice turns deep with regret, his striking viridescent eyes turn dark as they’re painted over by anguish. “To think that they managed to slaughter the whole town in one night…”

A string of questions pops up inside his mind and it shows vividly on his face. What if the Darkseekers never left? What if they’re still here, watching our movements, waiting until the sun goes down before they rip our throats apart?

“Stay within the light,” you assure him, even though your fingers are gripping tightly enough around your steering wheels, enough to turn your nails white. “As long as we stay within the light, we’ll be okay.”

You try to swerve the vehicle to avoid the corpses. You’re not sure how much time has passed ever since the incident, but by the stench of their decaying skin, bodies start liquifying, teeth and nails falling out, maybe it’s been a few weeks. You don’t linger too long to find out.

“Just focus on finding the police station.” You wonder if you sound cold, or seem apathetic to his eyes but Eren doesn’t say a word. The world is cruel but you both have known it since the day you and Eren drove your knives through your loved ones’ hearts. This is nothing new.

It’s a small town that’s brimming with brick storefront housings, chock full of quirky gift shops specializing in crystals and moonstone pendants. The colors are vibrant and warm, and if the world wasn’t ending, this would’ve been a lovely town for you to travel to. But not anymore.

You spot a police station down the road and Eren tightens his grip around his shotgun.

“How many bullets do you have left?”

“One,” he answers. One bullet may seem like it offers nothing but a small reassurance, but knowing how good he is with his shots, one bullet can save a life, whether it's yours or his. Little do you know that Eren only intends to use it to save yours.

“Then wait here,” you order him to stay put as you pull on the handbrake, parking your car recklessly without a care in the middle of the road. There are no bodies around, no corpses lying nearby, and no signs of life. “I’m gonna go inside and check.”

“I’m going with you,” Eren insists almost immediately, his hand ready to lurch forward and seize your wrist if he needs to. It’s to be expected of him, knowing how chivalrous he’s been from day one. 

You don’t want to sound harsh by reminding him that with a broken ankle, he will only become a liability to you but he can be just as stubborn as you are, if not more, when he wants to. “Eren, you can’t walk.”

“I’m not letting you go inside alone.”

You turn your face to the side, watching him with weary eyes. You can see the determination on his face, how he’s not going to change his mind as long as you have your life on the line. Of course, it makes you happy to have someone who cares this much about you but still, it would be a terrible decision to bring him along. “Well, I’m not letting you step down from this car with a broken ankle.”

“Do you think I can just sit here and watch you risk your life for us?”

“Do you think I can just allow you to come with me when you can’t even run?”

He clenches his jaw, hating that he doesn’t have any better argument to fight you on it. “I know I’m no use to you right now, but…” It’s heartbroken to see him this way, to see how much he hates himself for being so powerless, for being such a burden, when all he wants to do is to protect you. “Princess, if something happens to you…” he speaks softly, his eyes losing the bravery and determination that filled them a moment ago. “And I’m not there to protect you as best as I can, I will never be able to forgive myself. I’d rather die trying to protect you than to live on my own.”

Although deep in your heart you feel the same way, you answer with a scoff, “That’s stupid.”

“That’s what I want,” he corrects, staggering you for a second from how solemn he looks. “I don’t want to live with regret. Not anymore.”

There’s a pregnant silence with thick tension stretching between you. Eventually, you release a defeated sigh, folding your arms above the steering wheel before you use them as a pillow to rest your forehead on. “Why do you never listen to me?” You ask, sounding much more exhausted than intended. “I’m trying to do what’s best to keep us alive.”

“We’re stronger in numbers,” Eren says, a sudden juvenile grin breaks on his lips, and you’re reminded of the words he said to you when you first met. “Besides, Princess, if we can survive last night, I’m sure we can survive this one too.”

“You’re weirdly optimistic.”

“You’re just too pessimistic.”

The little laughter that you try to suppress sounds more like a snort than anything else, but Eren can see a hint of amusement on your face. “Fine,” you say. “You’re coming with me. But if a Darkseeker shows up and you miss your shot, Jaeger, I swear to God, I’m gonna shave your head. Let’s see if you can still do your cursed Tom Cruise impressions with a bald head.”

Eren shrugs. “He was bald in Tropic Thunder.”

“Oh, shut up.” You land a small punch on his shoulder before you both trade demure smiles. “Well then, should we come up with a plan?”

The plan isn’t much of a plan to begin with, but it’s the best you got. Sticking your machete in the back of your shirt, you jump out of your car and move to his door. 

Eren blushes when he sees you stretching out both hands to help him step down from the car. With one hand supporting himself against the railing, he swings out one leg. “I can do it myself,” he says, but right after he finished his sentence, he slips his footing, his body stumbling forward, crashing against yours. You both topple over to the ground, your back hitting the earth with a thud and a painful groan is snatched away from your mouth. Eren has his face buried in your chest before he props himself up with both palms on the concrete. “I’m—I’m sorry!”

“For falling on me like an idiot or for almost motorboating my tits like a pervert?”

His jaw is seconds away from dislocating from his face. “I– I’m not–”

“You’re both,” you answer it for him. There’s a painful throb at the back of your skull that makes your vision slightly unfocused.

“I’m sorry,” he winces. “Are you okay?”

“I’m okay. I’m this close at kicking you in the balls right now, but I’m okay.”

Eren laughs as he’s reminded of the earlier days when you spent ninety percent of your time together throwing playful banter like this. His smile is so contagious that you find your own lips curving up. It falters once he lays a hand on your face, thumb stroking your cheekbone. His palm, just like his ankle, has been treated with antiseptic and bandage. His blood has stopped gushing out from his wound.

“What?” You ask him, time seems to slow down as you focus your gaze solely on him. You watch his eyes drift down to your lips, his gaze lingering as if they are entranced by the sight. You know that look. “Don’t do it.”

Eren wets his lower lip, whether it’s a sign of nervousness or him just aching to have a taste, you’re not sure. “Why not?”

“Because it’s the most cliche thing ever.” 

“To kiss you when we’re in this position? I think it’s understandable.” 

It’s harder to stay unfazed under his coy, little coquettish smile, and his seductive whisper than to take a clear shot of your target, but fortunately for you, you manage. “There’s a correct time and place to do this, Er—”

He dives and brushes his lips tenderly against yours—a questioning kiss, brief and timid. Yet, you find yourself holding your breath when he releases you.

“It always feels right to me,” he says, smiling more with his eyes than his lips, a pair of beautiful crescents. “Anywhere with you feels like Paris in the rain.”

“Seriously?” You stare flatly at him. “Trying to woo me over by quoting a line from a mainstream song? Really?”

He knits his eyebrows together, puzzled. “What song?”

“Oh my God,” you groan. “So you’re naturally this corny? I mean I know you are but I didn’t think you were this bad.”

“Is it really a bad thing, though?” He murmurs, lowering his head for another kiss, slightly longer, slightly deeper that you could feel how despite they still feel soft against yours, his lips are a bit chapped from the cold. The saccharine smile turns into a devilish smirk. “Seems like you like it just fine, Princess.”

You knee him right on his crotch, not hard enough to make him cry in agony, but enough to serve as a warning. He grunts with his elbows supporting him on the ground, while you return to your feet and fix your leather jacket. “Stop wasting time and let’s go.”

“You’re not cute at all,” he pouts. He allows you to circle one arm around his waist as he lands his around your shoulder. You both make your way to the station, stopping right before the door where the sun can douse you with its light.

“Ready?” You ask him, grabbing your machete with one hand.

Eren releases you, standing with his shotgun in firing position. He gives you a nod.

Taking a deep breath, you kick the front door open. The wood creaks underneath the pressure, and by your third attempt, it swings open and slams against the wall. You’ve made enough noise to attract whatever is lurking in the dark. All you have to do is wait.

It’s only three seconds in, and a Darkseeker, dressed in a police uniform with black strings of saliva coating its bared teeth, advances toward you. You can hear Eren releasing his breath slowly as he prepares to take his shot. He pulls the trigger, the sound rings like thunder in your ears. The bottom half of its face is blown away, its body pushed back a few steps. But then it stares back at you, its snarl turning into a raging cry before it runs toward you with both hands stretched out. Eren didn’t miss his shot, but he missed its brain.

“Fuck,” he curses, stepping in front of you in reflex. He knows the sun will burn its flesh the second it walks past the door but he still tries to shield you just in case. 

“Move,” you tell him, pushing him away to the side with one hand while you snatch a spear point knife from the harness that tightly hugs your thigh with the other. You cast your blade forward, letting it pierce through the air before it lands right on the Darkseeker’s forehead, penetrating deeply enough to rupture its brain. The corpse tumbles back at once, body crashing against the wooden floor.

Eren stares in awe before he gulps. “Remind me not to get on your bad side.”

You don’t answer him, focusing on finishing your job first. Stepping into the room, you approach the spot where the Darkseeker is now oozing black blood to the ground. You go down to one knee, plunging your knife harder inside its brain before you drive it upward, splitting its head in the middle. You pull it away, wipe the blood on its tattered uniform, and place back the blade in its sheath.

Eren watches you from behind, completely enthralled. “Is it weird if I find you so hot right now?”

“Stop messing around and help me find some guns.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

***

Last night might be the worst night of your life but today? Today feels like God is trying to make it up to you.

You’ve managed to obtain yourself three shotguns, two handguns, and five extra magazines from the station. As the cartridges you found didn’t match the ones he owned, Eren tossed his old pistols away and decided to use the new ones instead. “These are lighter, I like them,” he commented with a satisfied grin, tucking his new handguns around his belt.

Your forage for food went well too. There was a minimart nearby that offered bottles of water and a selection of canned foods—which were still gross, in your opinion, but Eren was having a feast. You got your hands on a few bags of chips, a few cans of beer, and coffee–Eren was immensely pleased when he found Corona Extra on the counter that you swore you saw him rubbing his tears away with his hand. With your heart feeling ten times more at ease, you continued with your journey.

You’ve decided not to switch cars, only stopped at a gas station to refill the tank. You drive twelve miles west, heading toward the lake. It’s only one in the afternoon, so there will be plenty of time for you to find a new house and get familiar with your surroundings before the sun sets.

“I’m so excited,” Eren giddily says, munching on a Twinkie. It’s two weeks past its expiration date but he doesn’t care. “Feels like we’re going camping.”

You snort. “Want me to set up a bonfire for you? I’m sure they would love to have a little Jaeger barbecue party.”

“Your sense of humor is disturbing, Princess.”

An hour later, you’re driving down a familiar lane, going through the small neighborhood framed by steep hills and majestic lake views. Tucked into its cozy tree-lined streets are some of the prettiest homes you’ve ever seen—a conglomeration of architectural styles that, while unique, are unified in charm. As much as you are itching to visit the varnish-clear lake to revive your dearest memories, you focus more on finding a place to stay for the night. But then—

“Hey, why don’t we stop by the lake first?” Eren suggests as he rolls his window down, his head peeking out like an excited dog. His hair, tied up with a few baby hairs sprouting out of his bun, is caressed by the wind. “You want to see it, right?”

It’s as if he reads your mind. “I guess we can if it’s just for a few minutes.”

“Yeah, just for a few minutes.”

So you follow his request and fulfill your wish, keeping your engine running until you can witness the glorious luster of the water before you. It’s the same skyline-silver lake where you used to spend every summer making cherished memories and endless laughter with your family. It feels nostalgic, the way the atmosphere is convent quiet, soothing, and yogi still. It’s lined with pine trees and the sky’s magnificence seemed to be emblazoned on the lake, making it look like nothing but a painting. The whiff of mint and the cedar-sweet smell wafts up to you the second you stop and open your door to breathe the fresh air. Feels so good to be home, your lips almost form the words. The idyllic scene still takes your breath away just the same, and when you spin your head around to see him, Eren has his lips parted in awe, looking just as enraptured by the scenery, if not more.

“You want to go out?” you offer him. “Just for a few minutes.”

He mirrors your smile. “Just for a few minutes.”

Climbing out of the car, you help him support his balance by holding him around his waist like before. Eren has his arm resting on your shoulders, the visage of the lake is reflected in his eyes. Sunray adds a golden tint to the face of the lake, and Eren thinks this is what paradise looks like. Untouched by the cruelty of the world. It’s a place with the kind of beauty that is unmatched, except maybe…

His eyes shift to your face again, only to be answered instantly by a gentle smile on your face. “Do you like it?” You ask him. 

Eren casts his gaze down when he feels you removing your hand from his waist, only to interlace your fingers together. You squeeze his hand lightly before your warmth seeps through his pores, and he wonders if you’re thinking the same thing. That this is a new beginning, for you and him. That this is finally the place that you both can call home.

“I love it,” he says, almost in a content sigh. He shifts his arm away from your shoulder, his hand doing the same habit of tucking your hair behind your ear. But maybe it’s not a habit. It’s just his favorite thing to do in the world. 

And he wants to say something. Wants to describe that even all of this scenery—everything that took his breath away—they’re nothing compared to you. But you’ve called him corny so many times and Eren’s knowledge of romantic phrases is close to none. All he can offer you is his honesty. 

“I’m in love with you,” he breathes out while your breathing stops. “I find endless joy when I’m with you, Princess. Loving you feels right as if it’s the reason why I’m here. I feel like I’ve loved you in my previous life, I love you in this one, and I’ll love you again in the next one.”

How can he say something like this? You wonder, turning bashful. So beautifully, so genuinely, so passionately. You could feel the attraction that pulses between you, a magnetic pull drawing you to him. For a moment, he renders you speechless. 

“This is the right moment,” you tell him.

He blinks. “Huh?”

Ah, damn it. With your face aflame, you speak through gritted teeth. “For you to kiss me, you idiot.”

“Oh!” The realization only overtakes his features for a second before it quickly turns to regret. “Oh, no, I just ruined it, didn’t I? I’m sorry, I should’ve—”

You pull him down by the collar of his jacket, standing on your toes as you plant your lips against his. It’s a bit more forceful than intended, but it delivers the message well. You break away only to whisper, “Stop talking and just… kiss me harder.”

And he does, kissing you with all the passion he feels. The need. The hunger. But Eren keeps his control. He just wants your taste on his lips. At least, for now. 

The kiss is different than what you shared with him a moment ago. There’s no elfin grin on his mouth, only parted lips and eager tongue—shy enough to penetrate deep into your cavern but bold enough to glide against your lower lip. There’s no giggle erupting from the back of his throat, only a deep moan and breathy sigh when he feels your fingers dancing across his nape. His right hand slithers around your waist, his other one cups you by your jaw, the leather of his fingerless glove rubs against your skin.

“Be with me.” He maps his way down to your jaw and the side of your neck to murmur the words before he returns home to your lips. “Stay with me.” It’s followed by your name, spoken like praise from a love poem. “Hold me like this and never let me go.”

I need you to promise me this, Princess. I don’t want this to be the last time I can kiss you. I don’t want tomorrow to be the last time I can see your smile. I’m scared. Deep down, I’m always terrified because…

What if death comes to take you but not me?

Eren had hopes before. He hoped for a better life, and he thought if he wished for it hard enough, he could have it. After all, things were really turning for the better, for both of you. But after what happened last night, he realized that his hopes were nothing more but a fantasy he could never achieve. Yes, you won the battle of your life, but how much longer until your luck runs out? It feels harder than ever now to keep on hoping.

Your legs feel weak, and you try to blame it on all the running you did trying to survive. You want to say it. You want to say it back. I love you. I’m so in love with you too. I’ve never felt like this before and it scares me because what am I going to do when you’re gone?

You land a hand on his chest, gently pushing him away just to get a few seconds to collect your courage. “I…” You lick your bottom lip as a way for your body to suppress your jitters. You taste like him. “Eren, I…”

Say it, you idiot! What is so hard about it?! Just tell him you love him!

Your heart is in your ears, and blood rushes to your face so fast that you know it’s going to change the color of your cheeks. “I, umm…”

Eren watches in silence, patiently waiting for the words to come out and it only makes it ten times harder for you to say it. Then his mouth twitches into a smile a second before a tiny peal of laughter escapes him. Flustered, you give him a little punch on his chest. “Why are you laughing?!”

“Because you’re so cute.” He gathers you in his arms, granting you a small kiss on your temple before he rests his chin on your head. “And you’re so transparent. I can literally see whatever thought crosses your mind.”

“Shut up.”

“You want to tell me you love me too, right?”

“Shut up.”

He chortles again and it's the most beautiful sound you’ve ever heard. Eren kisses you one last time before you break away. He feels it. Even if you don’t say the words, he feels your devotion for him in every fiber of your soul. Elation leaps through him and for a moment, all you can think of is the feel of his body against yours, the passion and the ferocity of his kiss.

When it’s over, he leaves you a bit disoriented. “Let’s go find our home, shall we?” He suggests, intertwining your fingers together.

With you, I’m already home. A thought crosses your mind and your chest is suffused with warmth. It’s until you can feel the way Eren’s hold around your hand turns rigid, that you realize you just said the words out loud, your mouth forming the sentence before your brain could tell you to stop. It came out in a whisper like you were mumbling in your sleep, but Eren felt it to his bones.

“I—” You panic, ashamed. “I meant—I don’t—”

Eren pivots on his heels, staggering quite a bit as he takes you by the hand and leads you back to the car. He rubs his nose, visibly abashed, where the color of his tip matches the crimson in his cheeks. “I didn’t hear anything.”

But he’s always been a terrible liar, hasn’t he?

***

Perched on the edge of the lake, there’s a Craftsman-style shingle lake house that peeks out from the towering pine trees that surround it. Even from the outside, the home is striking, designed to merge with the natural world with wood exterior, as well as the landscaping with native plants, blending into the six acres of surrounding forest. It has unfettered lakefront access, with multiple decks made of wood just feet from the shoreline, one of which has a hot tub.

“I think we just hit a jackpot,” Eren mumbles in awe. “This is literally the most beautiful house I’ve ever seen.”

You can’t argue with that. It looks like it’s taken straight from an architectural magazine. “Well then, let’s go check it out.”

Knowing how he’s going to be stubborn about not letting you go inside alone, you don’t bother to bicker with him this time. It is your luck that one side of the house is enclosed by a 30-foot-tall wall of windows rising above the lake. It aims to give you a gorgeous view of the waterfront, but you’re thankful for the sunlight that bathes almost every corner of the house. 

You enter the residence side-by-side, slowing down your pace to match his steps. Both of you have your handguns ready, scouring your surroundings with alert eyes and taut muscles. Albeit looking a bit abandoned with thick piles of dust coating every piece of furniture and untended plants growing in disorder, the house seems cozy and warm. There’s even a wood fireplace in the living room, and while it’s easy to imagine spending summers here, Eren can’t wait to enjoy a cozy winter night snuggled up with you as you watch the snow fall on the frozen lake. It reminds him of the dream house he often fantasized of sharing with his future wife and two, maybe even three children, where he would—

“What?” You ask him with a raised eyebrow, interrupting his thoughts. “Why are you staring at me like that?”

“N-nothing,” he blushes.

“Are you thinking dirty thoughts again? Really? Zombies can literally be hiding in one of the rooms right now, and you’re thinking about what, getting handsy with me in the hot tub?”

He nearly faints. “No, I was just—” He clears his throat, averting his gaze away. “I was just thinking about growing old here with my wife and kids. The house—it’s—it’s really, umm, nice.”

He’s an idiot. And you are the bigger idiot here because he didn’t even specifically state that he was thinking about you as his wife, and here you are, feeling like your head is about to explode from the thoughts of dancing with him in the kitchen as you make breakfasts together, or snuggling close on the couch with books in your hands and a guitar on his lap, and maybe when the kids are asleep, he’ll even trap your body against the window glass, his lips forming filthy words to describe how much he wants to make love to—I need to stop. 

“Go check the kitchen,” you tell him in a desperate attempt to distract yourself. “Find if we have food for the rest of the week.”

“What about you? Where are you going?”

Away from you. “I’m just going down the hall.”

“Stay within the light.”

“Stay within the light,” you mock him back, your cheeks still sizzle hot as you make your way to another hallway. You feel safe as you can still feel sunlight kissing your skin everywhere you go but your fingers remain tight around your handgun. 

Eren enters the kitchen as ordered, amazed by the sight of maple woodwork, a granite island, and a wine refrigerator that is stacked with top-class brands, ones that he could only dream of having. But that’s exactly what it is, isn’t it? This is a dream and he’s living in it with his eyes wide open.

He’s in the middle of rummaging through the top drawers, mumbling a little, “Lucky,” when he locates a numerous amounts of expensive canned foods, and jars filled with cookies and candies. 

The joy that sparkles inside him turns instantly into chaos when he hears your scream.

Eren spins on his heels so fast, he might have broken his other ankle but he doesn’t care. Mustering every strength in his body to run to your spot, he ignores the pain that burns his every nerve. “Princess!” He shouts out, his balance unsteady. “Princess, are you—”

“REINER!” 

Your scream is loud enough to deafen his ears. “Uhh… It’s Eren, actually.”

“No, I mean, it’s Reiner Braun!” Never has your voice sounded so high-pitched before. Your eyes are so wide open, that he wonders how they are not falling out of their sockets yet.  

Eren, still limping, walks closer to your spot with a frown. He looks over your shoulder, following the finger you’re pointing at one of the photo frames that decorate the wall. “Who’s Reiner Braun?” His gaze lands on a muscular man, probably in his early fifty, staring into the camera with a grin warm and kind enough to look unnatural on his bearded face. The man called Reiner is sitting on the couch with two teenagers hugging his sides—Eren assumes they’re his children as they bear striking resemblance to him. His wife, standing behind the couch, has her cheek pressed against the side of his head, smiling beautifully with her arms embracing her husband’s shoulders from behind. The amount of love and happiness they showcase through the picture is enough to warm your hearts, and Eren wonders if someday, he can take a picture with you like this too.

“The guy from Empire!” Your shout slaps him back to reality—a reality where you are now fangirling over another man. “Eren, this is his house! We’re staying in Reiner’s house right now, oh my God—I can’t believe this—”

“All right, chill.” But he can’t help but laugh at the way you’re practically jumping on your feet, drowning in your excitement. “What’s Empire? A boy band? That dude looks too buff to be wearing skimpy clothes on stage.”

You restrain the urge to slap the photo frame against his face, only because you care too much about the picture. “A rock band. He’s the drummer. They were pretty cool, my dad was obsessed with them. Instead of letting me listen to Justin Bieber, he kept shoving their albums down my throat. Thank God, though. Justin Bieber’s music is shit.”

“Hey!” Eren raises a finger in the air, stopping you. “Do not insult my man.”

“You were a Belieber?”

“I am a Belieber,” he corrects with a proud look on his face. 

“Please tell me you’re joking.”

“Why would I? He’s my pride and joy. I used to spend hours, just… You know, biebing.”

“Oh my God, don’t talk to me.” 

Taking the picture off the wall, your gaze softens as you recall your old days, reminiscing the time. “We used to jam to their songs every morning as Dad drove me to school. I think they’re in their seventies now, so they’ve retired for a while. Too old to be playing on the stage, I guess.” You place back the frame, shoulders sagging forward. “I wonder where they are now.” Are they still alive somewhere? Are they dead? Or worse, have they turned into one of them?

Eren, noticing the sadness that radiates off of you, lands a hand on your head. “Was Reiner your favorite member?”

“I like all of them. Their frontman was, like, the younger version of Kurt Cobain. Too bad he died in a car crash. Poor guy, he was so young too. So talented. And hot.”

The hand that’s been lightly stroking your hair stops. “Hotter than me? I doubt it.”

“Well, obviously—” You stop when realization dawns over you, whirling your head toward him so fast, it leaves you a bit dizzy. 

Eren blinks uncomfortably at the sight of you scrutinizing his features. “W-what?”

“Now that I think about it, you kinda look like him.” The second the words break free from your mouth, you feel like you need to wash the filth off your tongue. “But ugh, that is so gross. I can’t believe I just said that.”

Eren just casually takes in what he wants to hear and ignores what he doesn’t want to hear. “Wait, so you’re saying I’m hot? Like rockstar level hot?”

You kick him in the shin and walk away.

The more you tour around the house, the more surprised you are by its grandeur. There are five bedrooms and six bathrooms inside–one of them even has a Japanese bathtub where you can spend your time relaxing while indulging yourself in the scenery of the lake. There’s also a spa and sauna, a fully-equipped gym, and a game room with an endless collection of comic books and action figures, a massive billiard table, and an old Pac-man arcade machine. With all that, you might never want to actually go out on the lake, opting instead to take advantage of all these luxe features.

Checking the room one by one, you notice one thing. The linens on the bed used to be crisp white but they’re painted with yellow stains as they haven’t been used for months. But judging from the way the room is very organized–no pencils on the table, no creases on the sheets, no sweaters hanging in the standing coat rack–maybe the room hasn’t been occupied in years. In one of the photo frames you find on the table, you see the happy family attending their younger child’s college graduation, celebrating it with hugs and kisses. Maybe she’s moved out of the house?

The next room has a more masculine vibe to it. Instead of salmon pink, the walls are painted gray. His son seems to be taking after his father’s hobby, with drumsticks signed by popular musicians decorating his shelf. There’s an entire wall dedicated to the Gods of Metal, with posters of Iron Maiden and Black Sabbath plastered against it. But just like the previous room, this one seems like it’s been abandoned for a while.

“Seems like it was only Reiner and his wife who stayed here,” Eren comments as you head toward the last room–the master suite. “Or maybe this is just their vacation house or something.”

“Why would the front door be unlocked if they weren’t here?”

Eren is still musing to find the answer when you curl your hand around the doorknob and push it open. You’ve prepared yourself for the worst, maybe one or two Darkseekers turning their heads toward you, but what you see is even worse.

Eren, who’s following close after you, lowers his gun. “Well, I guess we found our answer.” 

Reiner and his wife—what’s left of them anyway—are lying down on the bed, their bodies are now dry, but still decaying very slowly. Bile rises to your throat as your nose picks up quickly on their stench, and if it was your first time encountering dead bodies, you must have vomited your insides. 

Seeing you turn pasty, Eren clamps his fingers around your wrist and leads you outside, closing the door behind him. “You okay there?” 

“I’m fine,” you say, inhaling as much fresh air as you can into your lungs. You loosen up your collar and hurriedly make your conclusion. “I think we can stay here. We’ll have to do something with the corpses later but… For now, we can rest.”

Eren nods. “I think I saw a door leading to the basement. Should we check it now or…” He stretches out a hand, caressing the side of your face with delicate fingers as his eyes droop in concern. “Do you want to take a break? I can do it on my own if you want to.”

He sees right through me, doesn’t he? You're trying your best to appear nonchalant but Eren always picks up every hint of distraught that bubbles inside your chest. “No, it’s—” You clear your throat. “Let's go.”

What Eren doesn't know is that you’re not saddened by the fact that the man who inspired you, who you so deeply admired as a kid, has passed away.

You’re crushed by the fact that it wasn't the virus that took him. It was the pills, taken from the packer bottle that sat on his nightstand, its lid still open as they didn’t find any reason to close it. They didn’t find any reason to do anything at all instead of swallowing down the pills and plastering a smile on their faces as they drifted away to sleep only to never wake up again. It’s acetaminophen, you know for certain, even without reading the label, as it was the same one that took your aunt’s life to free her from depression. It was also the one you considered taking, as a way to escape your fear of reality. Ten pills of those and death would take you on a journey.

Reiner and his wife didn’t die with black blood staining the sheets. 

They died holding hands.

***

The basement, it turns out, is not a fucking basement. 

It’s a soundproof media room with a Bang and Olufsen sound system, a wine cellar, a shelf full of Blu-ray DVDs, a karaoke player, and a music studio where you can locate the same set of drums Reiner used to play a few times in his concert decades ago. They have placed carpeted floors over wooden flooring, the walls are covered by textiles and porous materials to absorb the sound. The cabin-style basement is even completed with another fireplace plugged directly into the wall. It’s the electric kind that doesn’t need a ventilation system but still mimics a traditional wood-burning fireplace. The dancing flames might not be real but they can exude just as much warmth as the usual ones do. The rustic wood furniture is aesthetically pleasing to look at, providing a much more comfortable, warm atmosphere compared to the living room you saw upstairs. 

“Look at this couch.” Eren, completely forgetting that he has a broken ankle, throws himself carelessly on the L-shaped sofa. As expected, he winces from the pain but it’s soon replaced by a long, drawled-out moan the second he feels how soft it is. He shifts around, trying down several positions until he lies down on his stomach. “Oh my God,” he sighs in bliss with one cheek pressed against the leather, his hand sliding up and down in a way that is almost similar to the way he caressed your legs two nights before—not that you should think about it. You’re sure by the size of it, the couch can fit more than eight people. Hell, you can even have three Erens lounging with their legs stretched out and you will still have room to sit. 

“I don’t ever want to move out again,” he mumbles deliriously.

“From this house?” You can’t help but smile, folding your arms in front of your chest as you lean your back against the wall. 

“From this couch. I’ll eat over here, cry over here. I’ll pee all over it if I have to, I don’t care. You’re my baby now.” He’s actually talking to the couch, nuzzling his face against it. “I’m never gonna walk away from you, Sofi.”

“Sofi?”

“Sofi the sofa.”

“Hmm, figured.”

“I was going to name it Coochie the Couch but then I remembered that it’s like slang for something completely different.”

You snort. “You’re probably gonna name our child the most basic name like Jack, or Bobby, or something.”

Wait.

Did you say your or our?

Your eyes quickly dart back to his face, and it doesn’t take long for you to know that yes, you clearly said our, you giant idiot. 

“Your,” you correct hastily even though you know it’s no use now. Eren heard it well and now he looks like he’s about to burst with joy. The only choice you have right now is to disappear from the face of the earth. “I’m—” You scurry away. “I’m gonna go take a shower.”

You take hasty steps toward the stairs, shouting stupid, stupid, you’re so stupid, inside your head as you do. A moment before you close the door behind you, Eren’s voice rings in your ear.

“Irene if it’s a girl.” You stop at once, feet shackled to the ground. You don’t allow yourself to throw a look over your shoulder no matter how much you want to. “And Jace if it’s a boy.”

Your fingers are curling tight against the side of your jeans, your face catching on fire. Irene and Jace… Fuck, those names are actually cute. And now you can’t help but put faces to their names, a little girl with the same brown hair and green eyes, and a tiny, tiny boy who looks like a spitting image of him. They might have your smile, but that’s it. The thought of it is so fucking cute, you can feel your heart clawing its way to jump out of your chest. 

“Go take a shower, you stink,” is the only thing you can say with a dysfunctioning brain. Exiting the basement, you press your backside against the closed door. Your palm drifts up to conceal the bottom half of your face. You can almost quite literally feel your skin burning. 

Fuck, this is so bad.

It’s bad that I want it too.

***

Your house is the only one that’s located near the lake. You’re separated by a few miles from the other houses, where you can only hear the sounds of rippling water and swaying branches that are kissed by the autumn breeze, and the anthems that the frogs sing. Once the sky is ablaze with the fire of the setting sun, you close all the curtains, turn off all the lights, lock all the doors and windows. You can barely do anything with the 30-foot-tall wall of windows, but as long as you remain within your room, they won’t detect any movements from the other side. The windows are made from tempered glass, highly durable and resilient to impact, which adds to your reassurance even though you knew, they wouldn’t hold them back for long if they used all their strength to tear them down. But as long as they don’t notice you’re there, you should be safe.

“I think we should both stay in the basement,” you suggest, “It’s a perfect place to hide, soundproof and all.”

Eren’s heart jolted at the offer but he affirms with a steady nod. He’s not sure what he is so nervous about—it’s not like this is going to be the first time you share the room with him. Is it because you’ve told him you loved him too? Is it because he can tell you’ve been secretly visualizing yourself growing old with him in this house, just as much as he has? Or is it really something as simple as the way he can smell that addicting strawberry scent from your hair, your body fresh and warm from the shower you just took; or the way you look so cuddly wearing an oversized sweater with sleeves too long for your arms?

“Can you please, umm…” You scratch your cheek, avoiding his gaze. “Stop staring at me like that?”

A flush creeps up his cheek. “S-sorry.” 

Eren walks past you, still hobbling on his feet as he takes a seat on the couch. Just like you, he just finished taking his shower, rubbing off all the dirt and blood that coated his skin. He wears his hair loose, seemingly a bit longer now with the end of his strands stopping an inch below his collarbones.  

Trying to shake off whatever this awkward tension that surrounds you, you decide to treat his injury, just like you did a moment after the fight ended. Grabbing the emergency kit, you go down to your knees before him, carefully checking on his ankle. “Does it still hurt?” You ask as you unfasten his bandage, wanting to change it to a new one as it is damp after the shower.

He winces at the touch, even when you’ve tried your best to be gentle. “A little.”

Swelling and bruising around the joint, there are splotches of black and blue sketched upon his sun-kissed skin, tracking down toward the sole of his foot. You apply cold packs to the injured area, hoping it will decrease swelling and pain. Eren watches you with unblinking eyes, entranced with the way you seem almost motherly as you treat his wound. The flames from the electric fireplace cast amber on your skin, and you seem so pretty, glowing underneath the dim light. And when you raise a hand to push a lock of stray hair behind your ear, Eren almost groans, feeling utterly disappointed that he’s not fast enough to do it himself.

“I’m sorry.” Your voice, even if it’s softer than usual, still startles him as he’s been daydreaming again. “It must have been painful to move around the whole day. When did this happen exactly?”

“Umm… I’m not sure. Probably when I tackled that Darkseeker away from you.”

“Probably? Did you not feel pain when it broke?”

“I only noticed I broke it after I was sure you were safe,” he mumbles out sheepishly. “I was… too busy thinking about you, I guess.” 

Ah, damn it. You rise to stand on your knees only to flick him right on his forehead. 

“Aaw!” he hisses. “What was that for?”

“For being embarrassing like always.” You return to your kit, rummaging through the box to find a new roll of bandage. “You should take some ibuprofen,” you suggest, wrapping it around his ankle to restrict him from moving it too much. “It’s a painkiller, but it will also keep inflammation down. Lie down on the couch.”

Eren, noticing that you turned bashful by his words, follows your command with a little smile breaking on his lips. It turns out that the couch has a metal frame and a memory foam mattress underneath its seating cushions, and it feels even comfier than the actual couch itself. You’ve brought more blankets and pillows with you, transforming the couch into your prime sleep spot, hopefully for the next few weeks. Months, if you’re lucky. 

You place a pillow underneath his leg, elevating his ankle, and two more on each side to keep it trapped. “Try not to move too much,” you say, draping a blanket over his body and pulling it up until he has his shoulders covered. He already looks funny this way, a 6.3-feet tall muscly man, shrouded by a quilt like a child, but you decide to tuck the blanket underneath his body, transforming him into a cocoon. You beam at him with a cheeky grin which he reciprocates with a pout. 

“Happy now?” He asks, jutting out his lower lip as if he didn’t look childish enough before.

“Immensely.”

“How can I cuddle with you if I’m like this?”

“Who said we were going to cuddle?”

His jaw drops, nothing but disappointment gleams in his eyes. “We weren’t?”

You slam your pillow once against his face, muttering, “Go to sleep. The sun’s down in ten minutes,” before you move to your other side of the bed, sighing in bliss once you feel just how comfortable the mattress is. You let your muscles unwind, closing your eyes and taking a moment to thank whatever supernatural forces it is that have kept you breathing to this point. 

You can’t hear anything from inside the basement. Not the wind that caresses your windows, not the pit patter of raindrops, not the snarling or the sound of branches cracking under their feet. The tranquility of it all seems eerie at first, but once you focus on the steady sound of Eren’s breathing, you finally can believe that you are safe. 

“Princess,” Eren whispers, breaking the silence.

“Hmm?”

“It’s hot,” he says, struggling to break free. “Can you help me get out of this? My balls are literally sweating right now.” 

You restrain the urge to laugh only because you have to stay quiet. Rolling to your side, you help him loosen the fabric around him. “There. Now, you can—“ Eren pulls you into his arms without warning, using more strength than necessary that you end up with a little “Oof!” breaking past your lips once you land your face on his chest. He lays on his side, his strong, long arms wrapping themselves around your shoulders.

“I thought you said you were sweating,” your voice is muffled by the thin layer of his black sleeveless shirt that does absolutely nothing to hide the muscles of his chest and abdomen. 

“Yeah, but now I’m cold and you’re so warm.” He buries his nose in your strands, not so secretly inhaling your scent as he embraces you tighter. 

Back when you were a kid, you used to have a huge teddy bear plush sitting on your bed. You called it Mr. Cuddlesworth, and you talked to it every night, tangled your limbs around it, and stayed like that until morning. Your mother used to wash it often as you tended to drool all over it, and every time she took it away, you would find yourself staring vacantly at the ceiling, unable to sleep. You only managed to stop being attached to it when your dad accidentally gave it away to your cousin one summer, thinking that you didn’t need it any longer. You were devastated. It almost felt like you lost a family member. You even bought a new one to replace it, the same kind, the same brand, the same color, and size, but it didn’t feel the same. 

Until now. “Mr. Cuddlesworth,” you accidentally mumble out loud, sighing against the fabric of his shirt. 

“Mr. Cuddlesworth?”

In a desperate attempt to conceal your shame, you bury your face deeper in his chest. Eren’s chuckle reverberates deep where you can feel its vibration directly on your skin. “Who’s Mr. Cuddlesworth? Your ex-boyfriend?”

“My teddy bear. But yeah, my ex-boyfriend too, I guess.”

“What, I’m your teddy bear now?”

“Well, you’re big and you’re warm and you’re so cuddly and–” You catch yourself, ending your line abruptly with a pout. “I don’t need to explain myself to you.”

“Holy shit, you need to stop, Princess.” He hugs you in a way a child would hug his favorite doll. “You’re literally the cutest person I’ve ever met. But you’re also so strong and badass at the same time. How is that possible?”

“S-shut up.”

“See? You just got ten times cuter now–ouch, stop punching me! Show Mr. Cuddlesworth some love!”

“Ugh, I actually hate you.”

“And I love you too.” He catches your hand, filling the spaces between your fingers with his. That gentle brush of his lips against your forehead, the way his voice turns delicate, calms you down until you’re back to your previous position. “Wish we could stay like this forever,” he murmurs with his eyes closed, sounding more like a confession than a mere wish. “Just you and me.”

In different circumstances, you might pinch his nose and reprimand him for spouting out corny lines like usual, but right now, especially after what happened the night before, you feel like he’s saying the words you’ve been chanting in your head. So, instead of pushing him away, you rest your forehead on his chest, fingers curling against the front of his shirt as you breathe out, “Me too.”

And that makes him think. “Princess… Did you see the way Reiner…” His voice falters, unsure if it’s okay to continue but he feels you giving him a timid nod.

“They were holding hands,” you echo his thoughts. “They killed themselves.”

“Why do you think that’s the case?”

“Maybe they were too afraid. Maybe they felt it was better to die in their sleep than to have the virus rupture their organs from the inside. Or worse, be turned into one of them.”

Eren grows exceptionally quiet. It takes him almost a minute before he can form a response. “Do you think it’s right for them to do it?”

“No,” you say, and you feel guilt residing within you from telling such lies, as it was the same option you had considered taking months ago. “I think it’s wrong that they gave up before they tried to fight back.”

“Maybe the reason why they didn’t fight back is that they couldn’t afford to lose one another.”

“You think it’s better to die with your loved one instead of trying to survive for yourself?”

“I think it’s an understandable choice,” he answers. “It’s a nice way to die.”

A nice way to die? You feel your heart plummet to your stomach. Exhaling heavily, you rest your palm on his cheek. “Why don’t we just focus on living for now?”

“You’re right.” Eren naturally leans into your touch, lips curving up into a soft smile. “I’m sorry. Shit got depressing real quick, huh?”

For a moment, you consider stopping the conversation there, but there’s this fear that builds up quickly inside your chest, that you need to let out before it starts smothering you. “Eren… You remember what I told you, right?” You question him with your voice and your heart close to breaking. “Do whatever it takes for you to survive. With or without me. You promised me that once, and I want you to promise me that again.”

You can still see it, see the way his whole body is on the verge of screaming, “I would stay with you until the end, no matter what happens,” but his lips are pressed in a tight line, mustering all his willpower to contain the words from breaking free. 

Because you are crying on his chest. Softly, weakly, like a little child trembling in fear. It all comes so suddenly too, startling you both. “Why are you crying?” He strokes your hair a moment before he brushes his thumb against your cheekbone, wiping away the stain. 

The more you feel alive, the more you fear death. The more happiness he gives you, the bigger the pain he’ll inflict when fate cuts your bond for good. And with him sounding like he’d rather die with you than survive on his own, you fear death more than ever. But instead of telling him these words, you fist his shirt and lock your lips together.

Eren, stunned by the action, still has his eyes opened until you part away from him two seconds later. “Princess?”

“Hold me,” you whisper, hand sliding past his shoulder before it rests on his nape. Make me forget about everything. Remind me that at this moment, we’re still alive. That you’re breathing my breath and I’m breathing yours. Drown me with whatever you have until I can escape my fear, just for tonight. “Just… hold me close, Ren…”

Eren lowers his head until the tip of his nose brushes against yours. His hand slips through your strands, fingers tangled and pressed against the back of your skull. You have your eyes closed and so does he, and for a few seconds, you stay in that position with your foreheads glued to each other. Then he kisses you softly on the lips, pouring all his love into that one kiss until he burns you with it. And just like that, he fulfills your wish.

He’s alive. You both are. And you stop thinking about the number of days you have left. Even before the outbreak, everybody has their days numbered, so why should this be any different? All that matters now is that you’re living this exact moment with him where your heart feels so full and your body invincible from the amount of joy that surges through you. 

This. This moment right here. This is what matters the most.

***

AN: Hey, everyone! Thank you so much for reading! Sorry it took me a while to update this, but I hope it's worth the wait 😭 There will be a bonus chapter where Eren's gonna take you out on a date hehe please look forward to it!

Thank you so much Aleks, Coi and Ben for beta-reading this ❤️

Tagging:

@l6ffys @vivi-et @halparkebitch @fwess @littlemochi @thebeardedmoon @didiyogo @coyloves @erenbean @tehehebri @justasketch @infnteen @naiomiwinchester @spiderlingh @doyochii @ahornyenby @aengelren @sakurashell @princess-jaeger @resonancesoul @blrqt @cacapeepee @persyhange @jaegersdiary @erentoes @trashygremlin04 @meed18 @j0livi0ni @snowflake-201 @jaymihawk @eva-gates @claudevonstrukesblog @sofijaeger @rinsie @blanccofiie @ereninbunu @natanialora @khinjito @jaegeriess @watermelon-online @tropicsoda @damselofblueroses @alexackrman @bblgumz @jurrasicpork @erenjaegercult @holycandypizza thanks so much for reading, lovelies ❤️❤️❤️

[ficsforeren-tags]

Additional Tags:

@straykeeks @nuk @laehlaluvs @aishakvx @baekmack  @noodlesfics @evaaknn @vivisspamm @xxx-maris @iheartmidoriya  @geni-230 @classykryptonitecreator @yanderehornyyae @xxx-maris @notisaa07 @softyutae @6igtal @slut-42d-men @erinodell4512 @sanzuharuchiyoswife @mochi-yeri @heyitsmeyuhh @thescorpiohottie @emeraudehahn  @sadtrains @somethingstranges-blog @katykat71114 @ashleighclark98 @doveblackboat @reddidh @thedegenerateducky @loveeren @erenswife5 @rosietoesy @xamex9 @wycliffx @calidarr9 @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @juicybuns @silenthearts @sushiimara @yagamiryuk01 @iman-ismaillee @80s-outsiders @itsantisocialratworld @piecksarmrest @saoirse-grace @lesfiori @nananira

Tainted: Euphoria

Pairing: Eren Jaeger X Female Reader

Genre: Secret Agents/Assassins AU, Mr. & Mrs. Smith AU, Smut, Romance, Strangers-to-Lovers-to-Enemies

Summary: You have been married to your husband for six years where you both kept secrets from each other. Little did you know that your husband was an undercover agent just like you, ordered to take your life within two days.

Warnings: explicit sex scenes, graphic description of murder and violence, minor character death, alcohol consumption, smoking, swearing, mentions of abusive past and childhood trauma

Word Count: 7k

Poster art by the most talented @rainbuniart

Twenty-eight-year-old Eren Jaeger closes his eyes. His breathing mimics the calmness of the sea before the storm, but inside his chest, a hurricane churns.

“Here’s your next target.”

That was the sentence his superior, Levi Ackerman, uttered to him five seconds ago as he slid a photo of his next target down the table. It’s something that Levi has done a million times before, tossing him photos after photos, targets after targets. Each time, Eren would respond with one corner of his mouth tilting upward, saying, “Yes, Sir,” as if he was crooning. There would be no sign of remorse on his face, no shame, and not a trace of fear or concern. To him, taking someone’s life was never a form of an atrocious sin. It’s just a way of life. And a day later, he would come back with the same photo tainted with the owner’s blood and Levi would cross their names off his list. 

“How are you holding up, kid?” He’d ask him every time, checking on his conscience. “Going insane yet?”

Eren would smile. He would always smile, no matter if it was after his first kill or his seventieth. Levi doesn’t need to check on his conscience; Eren never had one to begin with. “Feeling pretty good, Mr. Ackerman.” And it wasn’t a lie. 

Just five seconds ago, Eren thought he was living the best life in the world. He has a beautiful, extortionate house in a suburban area that’s spacious enough for three families to live in. His wealthy neighbors greet him every morning, send them expensive wines on Christmas Eve, and they never stick their noses too far in the things he does for a living. Eren has money, more than he could count, but he keeps it hidden in a separate bank account under a different name as he doesn’t want to raise suspicions. His fake job as a construction executive can bring quite a fortune, sure, but it will never be enough to explain the amount of money he makes whenever he manages to land a bullet in someone’s head. 

But most importantly, he has you as his beloved wife, who kisses his cheek before he has to go to work, and wraps the same lips around his cock before dinner starts. Things aren’t always smooth-sailing once your honeymoon phase ended, but that’s just how marriage works, isn't it? It takes a lot of effort, a lot of patience, and in Eren’s case, a lot of lies, too. 

It wasn’t always like this, of course. Before he met you—before he settled down with this fake persona—Eren Jaeger was just a normal boy, or at least, he’d like to think so. He was scouted by the agency just a few months after he graduated from high school. Erwin Smith was the one who discovered him. They met briefly after his graduation ceremony ended. The blond-haired man introduced himself, congratulated him on his achievement, and pretended like he cared. Eren didn’t mind. He had been living with liars his whole life. It was people with genuine kindness who made him feel unsettled. Fortunately, he never met one.

“Nine years ago, there was a boy who was found lying unconscious on the kitchen floor of his house,” Erwin said, walking next to the eighteen-year-old boy on the sidewalk. “He was badly wounded, his blood dripping all over the floor. Both of his parents were brutally murdered. Father, thirty-six stabs. Mother, eighteen. Nine years have passed but the case remains open. The murderer is still on the run.”

“Tragic,” Eren wryly commented, refraining himself from yawning.

“Oh, but this is where it gets interesting,” Erwin smirked, both hands tucked neatly inside the pockets of his dark trench coat. “He’s standing right next to me.”

“Who?”

“The murderer.”

The young man stopped dead in his tracks, his nonchalant face turned stern. The boredom in his eyes was quickly painted over by malice. 

“Yes, that’s it,” Erwin said with a taunting smile, accepting Eren’s death glare like a gift. “That’s the face I wanted to see.” His striking blue eyes showed nothing but the admiration he held for the boy. The fact that a nine-year-old child managed to wrap a scarf around his hand to avoid leaving fingerprints on the kitchen knife, disembowel his father’s stomach, slit his mother’s throat, call the police before he impaled his own skin to give himself an alibi, and maintain his lies for nine years without leaving a single clue—everything was perfectly planned. 

Eren was merely a child when it happened, and he felt nothing.

He still feels nothing. 

“Are you going to tell the police?” Eren asked, his brain calculating ten different scenarios on how to bury Erwin’s body under the ground—dead or alive, he wouldn’t give a damn.

"Of course not." There was mirth in the man’s gravelly voice. "Can I ask you something, though? Why did you do it?” 

Eren exhaled, shrugging. "I wanted some lunch money."

"And they didn't give you any?"

"They did," he corrected, his viridian eyes showing no sign of guilt. "It just wasn't enough."

It reminded Erwin of the day he met Levi for the first time, only Eren was ten times worse. He was a monster in a child's body, and Erwin wanted to see his true form. 

But Eren was more than meets the eye. Even someone as perceptive as Erwin failed to catch the sliver of loneliness that flitted through his eyes. Eren wasn’t born a monster. They made him like this. His abusive father. His controlling mother. His elementary teacher who whispered, “Keep it a secret between us, okay?” as her fingers danced across his thigh. The friends who betrayed him. The lovers who cheated on him. Eren endured it all, until one day, everything poured out like a cloudburst. It was time for him to pay them back, and when he did, he didn’t feel a thing. No remorse, no fear, no sadness, and ultimately, no pain. They got what they deserved, he thought, and he walked away with the biggest smile on his face. 

But even the strongest wolf needs a pack. Eren longed for kindness. He craved affection. He needed a family. He wanted to feel what it was like to have someone he could trust, someone who could trust him, someone who would turn their back against the world just to be by his side. Erwin wasn’t that person—Eren knew that for certain—but he was the best option he had.

So when the blonde-haired man landed a hand on his shoulder, bent his head down to match his height, and asked him, “Going to college is a little bit overrated these days, isn’t it? How about we do something a little bit… different?” Eren decided to take a leap of faith.

That was how it started. Erwin gave him the opportunity he never thought he would have and he fucking loved it. He would probably jump off a bridge if he had to work at an office, sitting behind his desk five days a week, with his fingers running over his keyboards and his brain seconds away from exploding over a fucking deadline. He would have to force himself to smile, surrounded by people who would stab each other in the face just to get a higher position in the company. He didn’t want that.

This job Erwin gave him suited him well. Everyone had their own responsibility, everyone had their own target, everyone tried to survive. There was no rivalry, no positions to be chased after. They were comrades in training, partners in crime. At first, Eren doubted he would fit in, but after four years of standing under Erwin’s wing, obeying his commands, he knew this was the right path to take. 

Eren was allowed to do whatever he wanted, as long as he could cross his target’s name off the list. He could smoke cigarettes during the job, could even have a filthy slut sucking on his dick if he wanted to. His job was simply to put a bullet through his target's head and call it a day. He could live with that.

There was a funny incident that happened when he was on a mission a few months ago. Standing on a rooftop of a tall building, Eren was dressed in all black. From his baseball cap to his combat boots, everything was monochromatic. He had an earpiece strapped to his ear. His eyes were as haunting as a wolf lurking in the night. 

The surveillance cameras had been cut off. He was untraceable. He laid flat on the ledge with his chest down and his back up, getting into position with his high-precision rifle settled securely in front of him. He was using a 338 Lapua Magnum cartridge, loaded with LockBase B408 bullets—a perfect weapon to kill his target who was standing a mile away from where he was. His name was Theo Magath, a diplomat who cheated on his wife with the same hooker every Wednesday night in the same hotel that stood right across the street. 

Magath had just entered the room, his hands slipping underneath the woman’s dress as he kicked his door closed. Right on schedule, Eren chuckled, observing their movements through his scope. Fucking idiots.

He spoke into the hidden microphone behind his collar, “Target is on sight. Proceeding with the mission.”

“Copy that,” a voice confirmed in his ear. “He’s all yours, agent.”

He’s all mine, he thought, smiling. Let’s have a little fun tonight, shall we?

His phone vibrated in the pocket of his cargo pants. It was his personal one—the number that he used for private matters. He attempted to ignore it at first, but it was growing persistent. Releasing an impatient breath, Eren took his hands away from his gun.

It was from a girl he met a week ago at a thanksgiving party. Luscious blonde hair, alluring sapphire eyes. His roommate, Armin Arlert, had kindly invited him to his family’s house for the weekend, and she was his sister, older only by a year or two. He must have given her Eren’s number. Fucking hell. 

Armin was a pure kid, so kind, it was almost strange. He knocked his fist against Eren’s apartment door by accident a year ago, not suspecting that he was walking into a killer’s home. He showed him his phone screen, telling him, “Hi, I’m Armin. It says here that you’re looking for a roommate? I just recently moved into town and I’ve been trying to get a place to stay.”

Eren should have said, “No. You’re knocking on the wrong door,” because clearly, he wasn’t planning to share his grand apartment with anyone else. But to his own surprise, he popped up a can of beer, offered it to the blond male, and said, “Yeah. Go ahead and take a look around.”

Maybe it was his loneliness taking control of him. Maybe he was just bored and he thought it would be a nice change to have a healthy, living human being walking around his house after he had given death to another. Whatever it was, they became roommates, and after spending one night drinking a bottle of gin, they became friends. Maybe, even best friends. 

That didn’t stop Eren from fucking his sister behind his back, though.

“Eren, I want you,” she stated in her text, which arrived a few seconds after she sent him a nude photo of her with her fingers buried deep inside herself. Historia. That was the name that was displayed on the screen. Eren didn’t know if it was her real name since he had no recollection of the night they spent together. He never cared enough to remember who he slept with. You can’t remember what you ate for breakfast last week, can you?

She was pretty, he admitted. Pretty face, pretty tits, pretty cunt. But she wasn’t special. No one was. Truthfully, Eren only fucked her because she kept stealing glances at him during that Thanksgiving dinner Armin invited him to. He didn’t make the first move—he never did—but when she closed the bathroom door behind her, dropped to her knees with his cock hot and heavy inside her mouth, Eren let her do as she pleased. It was just for the thrill. A momentary thrill.

He fucked her once and he disposed her right away. He did that to everyone. But a week had passed by and she still couldn’t get enough of him. Her texts kept coming, pictures after pictures. He had never responded to any of them before but tonight, an idea emerged in his head.

Eren took a glance at his target. They were on the thirty-second floor. The curtains in Magath’s hotel room were opened wide, showing their nude bodies on display as they rocked their hips against one another.

This should be fun, he thought, grinning. He tapped his thumb against the screen, waiting for three seconds in silence before—

“Eren,” she was moaning his name against his ear. “Oh, I’m so glad you called.”

“Hey, baby girl. Missed me?”

“Yes, Daddy,” she automatically whispered back, saying it in the way he taught her to do. “Daddy, I need you. I need you so bad, I’m fucking myself with my fingers right now. I can’t stop thinking about you.”

“Mmm,” Eren hummed, his lips breaking into a cocky smile as he returned his hands to his rifle. “You’re a naughty girl, aren’t you?”

“I’m sorry, Daddy…” Her voice was strained and breathless. “I can’t help it… I want Daddy’s cock so bad…”

“Now, now, what should we do?” Eren sighted his target through the scope, comparing the point of aim to point of impact. “Naughty girls should be punished, don’t you think?”

“Oh, yes, Daddy. Punish me. I want your hands around my neck—” she gasped, probably pressing one hand against her throat while her other one scissored her fingers deep inside her. “Want you to choke me like last time.”

“Of course, kitten,” he said. His expression was controlled, but his voice was like a devil’s whisper—smooth, alluring, and obscene. “But Daddy’s a little busy right now. You think you can be a good girl and fuck yourself with your toy for me?”

There was a rustling sound coming from the other line before she came back with a sigh. He could tell she was fucking herself with her favorite vibrator. “It’s not enough, Daddy,” she pleaded, “It’s not as big as yours. It doesn’t stretch me out like your cock did to me.”

Eren snorted. Of course, it doesn’t. “It’s okay, baby. Daddy will help you.” He curled his fingers around the trigger. “Just listen to my voice, all right?”

“Yes, Daddy.”

Magath was sprawling on his bedsheets, his lady bouncing on his lap. Eren could take a shot now if he desired, but he wanted that dramatic effect to follow after the kill. He wanted Magath’s brain to scatter across the floor. He wanted to see the light leave his eyes before his body toppled over. He wanted it all so he waited. “You know what I want to do to you right now?” Eren cooed, boredom in his eyes, seduction in his husky voice. “I want to fuck your mouth.”

Her breathing hitched in her throat. “You want my mouth, Daddy?”

“Oh, I want everything, baby.” He added a hint of yearning in his voice, wanting to make it believable. “But, I want to take it slow this time. I’ll treat you like a princess first before I fuck you like a whore. Would you like that, baby? Would you like Daddy to fuck you like a whore?”

“Mmm, yes,” she moaned, biting her lower lip. “Tell me what you want me to do, Daddy….”

“I want you to go down on your knees. I want you to stick out your tongue and wait patiently for my cock. I want you to suck on my tip before you take me deeper, and deeper and deeper.” She let out a quiet whine, her mind projecting his words on the screen behind her closed lids. “I’ll let you get a taste. I’ll be gentle. But once you’ve warmed up to me, I’m gonna make sure I’ll fuck your face so hard, you’ll never be able to forget how good it feels like to have my dick inside your mouth. ”

She keened, her walls clenched tightly around her toy. “God, Daddy, I want it.”

“Yeah?” To her, he sounded like he was chuckling, when in fact, he was scoffing. “You love my fucking cock so much, don’t you, Sweetheart?”

“Yes.”

“Tell me. Tell me how much you want it.”

And she told him. She told him with every praise she could come up with, all the while fucking herself harder with her toy. Her imagination ran wild and she started to speak incoherently as she moved her hand faster. 

“Mmm, that’s right, baby,” Eren responded lazily, “My pretty fucking slut. You’re gonna make Daddy lose control. I want to fucking cum on your face and watch you lick every bit of it, lapping up my dick like a naughty little bitch that you are.” He faked a groan. “God, baby, you’re making Daddy’s cock so hard right now.” But his hands were nowhere near his cock. His hands were on his gun, and he was about to take a shot.

“D-Daddy–Ah, Daddy, please–”

“Harder, Sweetheart. I want you to fuck yourself the way I fuck you.” Magath was in a perfect position. His woman was lying down on her back, her body nearly being folded in half as he thrust into her repeatedly. It was time. “Baby,” Eren called, taking a deep breath. His fingers were prepared and steady, not a single quiver running through them. “Are you close?”

“Oh, fuck—“ she gasped, body arching forward. “Yes, Daddy—I’m close—I’m so fucking close—”

“You can’t cum until I tell you so.” He released his breath, his heartbeat seemed to slow down. He had one of his eyes closed to improve his focus.

“Daddy, please…” She sobbed. “Please let me cum…”

“In a few seconds, darling.” He counted in his head, taking another deep breath, and this time he held his lungs empty. One… Two…

Three.

“Cum, baby.”

He lined up and took his shot.

A bullet pierced through Magath’s head at the same time she moaned Eren’s name against the phone, cumming all over her vibrator. Blood splattered across the wall, red and angry, the same way her juice stained her bedsheets. Eren was the painter and he left quite an impression. 

“That’s right, scream for me,” he grinned, watching the woman shriek in horror as his body fell on top of her. “Scream for Daddy.” 

Job’s done.

“Oh my God, Daddy,” Historia giggled from the other line, sighing in satisfaction. “That was so intense. Did Daddy get to cum?”

“Oh, baby,” Eren chuckled, returning to his feet with his rifle dangling on one shoulder. “Daddy made a mess.”

He gathered his belongings at once, tucking his phone between his ear and his shoulder as he placed back his gun inside his duffle bag. “But you came without my permission, didn’t you?” He scolded, his voice gentle but firm. “You know how Daddy doesn’t like that.”

“I’m sorry, Daddy.”

“Sorry doesn’t cut it, Sweetheart.” He slung his bag over his shoulder, closed the door behind him, and made his way down the building through the emergency stairs. “What can you offer me?”

She giggled, batting her eyelashes seductively before she purred, “What does Daddy want to do to me?”

His other phone—the one that he used for his mission—vibrated, and Eren knew. The money had been transferred.

“I don’t know.” He took off his cap once he had strayed far enough from the building. He unfastened his bun, his long strands ruffled by the wind as he blended in with the crowd. “Choke you to death, maybe?”

She laughed. “You’re so funny.”

He smiled, disappearing into the night.

Eren loves his job. But today? Today he fucking wishes he never accepted it. Because the photo that sits on his desk is a picture of you and him, sharing a kiss under a lamppost with your lips curving into a smile and his fingers tangled in your hair.

It shocks him to his bones when Levi hands him your name—the woman he had vowed to love until ‘death do us part’ as his next target. But Eren remains hushed, not moving a muscle, his face inscrutable. He’s getting a taste of his own bullet spiraling its way out of his chest but he won’t show it to the world.

“She works for our competitor,” Levi explains, showing him your files. “One of their top agents, they said. Remember your target from two months ago—Darius Zackly? The one who was already dead when you got there? That was her doing.”

Eren’s blood runs cold in his veins. He had a hunch that his wife of six years had been keeping a secret from him. He’d picked up clues along the way, but he had never thought that you would turn out to be an assassin like him. One who is just as skilled and heartless as he is. Eren can still recall the bullet that pierced through Darius’s head. It was a clean shot, most likely taken from a difficult angle. He was both impressed and vexed at that time. His competitive ego wouldn’t let him fail. He was eager to find the shooter, but you were imperceptible, leaving no trail behind.

“You’re sure you can kill her?” Levi’s voice pulls him out of his stupor. “I mean, I can do it if—”

“No.” To Levi’s astonishment, it’s almost like a growl that comes out of the boy’s mouth. “Leave it to me. I’ll finish the job for you.”

I can kill her, he convinces himself. I have to. It’s better if she dies by my hands than someone else’s. I’ll do it fast and painlessly.

But as he curls his fingers into tiny balls of fists, nails sinking hard enough to tear the skin of his palms, Eren remembers the first time he met you.

And his confidence starts to waver.

***

Fate brought you together six years ago.

The sun was almost drowning below the horizon when Eren arrived at a hotel, his white button-down shirt sticking to his back, nearly drenched with sweat. It was his first time in the country and he’d already loathed how sweltering the weather was. His dark blazer was crumpled as he draped it over his arm, his tie long abandoned. He was dressed as a young man on his business trip, yet a handgun was strapped to the back of his pants, secured tightly by his belt. He loosened his collar, toying with the top buttons and unknotting two more than necessary. 

“Have you made your reservation, Sir?”

“Yes. Eren Kruger.”

“Please wait a moment, Mr. Kruger.”

His agency had created a whole new identity for him, and he had been introducing himself with his fake last name more often than he’d used his real one.

He ran a hand through his long, dark brown hair, clicking his tongue in slight vexation when he noticed how oily his hair was. I need to take a shower. He snapped an elastic band off his wrist, tying his hair messily in a bun with a few of his baby hairs falling over his temple. Eren kicked the dirt off his combat boot, mentally groaning when he noticed a splotch of blood painting its side. He was lucky it was only blood, not pieces of flesh that came out of his target’s head when he cracked it open with his machete a few hours ago.

He sighed. That was the very reason why he preferred using rifles better. At the age of twenty-two, he had become one of the deadliest snipers his agency had ever recruited. He was a cold-blooded murderer, not even batting an eyelash at the close-up sight of his bullet smashing through his target’s temple. He was a monster with the look of an angel.

Eren was too busy reeling in his reverie when a hand suddenly found its way to circle almost naturally around his arm. 

“Excuse me.” 

***

The tall man with the most stunning jade green eyes you’d ever seen seemed more curious than stunned when you wrapped a hand around his arm as if he had noticed your presence even when you were being as silent as a cat. “Excuse me,” you said. He raised an eyebrow at your words but everything else remained a mystery. Your next line was spoken in a soft murmur. “Can you go along with me for a minute?”

He had a good sense of his surroundings, you took a mental note, but not good enough to notice the way you had your knife strapped to the side of your thigh, covered by your dress, adding reassurance if anything went wrong. He only had to spare a glance behind you to know you were running away from someone. Without asking further questions, he wound an arm along your waist, turning you around until you were flushed against his chest, deep in his embrace. He let his fingers slip between the strands of your hair, covering most of your face with his arm from their line of vision.

“Baby,” he cooed, smiling sweetly. “I thought you hadn’t arrived yet. Did you wait long?”

“No, I just got here,” you replied, squeezing his shoulder affectionately. You were lucky, so lucky to find someone who could play along perfectly without making inquiries. He took a hold of your hand, guiding it to his neck so you could curl your fingertips along his nape. He leaned in close to your ear, whispering, “I can’t wait to know your name.” 

Though the way his velvety voice resonated through the air made your skin tingle, you giggled, pretending like he just whispered something sultry. “I’ve missed you too, baby.”

“Mr. Kruger? Your suite is ready. Would you like your breakfast to be carried to your room tomorrow morning?”

“Yes,” he answered, breaking apart from you but keeping his arm tied securely around your waist. “Hers too.”

“Most certainly, Mr. Kruger.”

Eren cast you a smirk, lacing your fingers together. “Shall we?”

***

With his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, Eren turned over the doorknob and let you step inside his suite. Perched between the hotel’s fifth and ninth floors, the room vaunts an extraordinary view of the vibrant city skyline, visible through floor-to-ceiling windows. You admired the scenery the same way Eren admired you from behind, perceiving it with unblinking eyes, your heart pulsating in excitement. Everything was breathtaking and to him, so were you.

“Thanks for saving me,” you said, eyes gleaming radiantly with the corners of your mouth quirked up. “Stranger.”

The young man chuckled, casually telling you his name before he asked you for yours. The handshake was firm, almost professional, but the way your fingers slid rather slowly against his when he was about to part betrayed all formality.

“Well, Eren Kruger,” you called, tucking a strand of loose hair behind your ear. “I would’ve been caught if you didn’t play along. You’re so natural at it. Had plenty of experience in saving damsels in distress before?”

Eren smiled, mysterious and delicate at the same time. The soft glow of the setting sun illuminated his features in a way that made him look almost like a painting. But to him, it was nothing compared to how ethereal you appeared in your off-shoulder white summer dress. You had the grace and gravitas of an empress, your smile bewitching enough to poison the hearts of men. Your eyes were pools of bejeweled water, shining brighter than the stars of heaven. There was a wild side in you, ferocious underneath that angelic smile. You’ve had many men standing on their knees before you, weakened by your glamor, but Eren wasn’t one of them. He wasn’t there for you to tame and dominate over. He wanted to own you, to have you on your knees, to strip you down to nothing–not even that seductive smile of yours–to see how you truly were underneath that demeanor you portrayed. It was the first time he felt so intrigued by someone, so aroused and captivated from the first sight, and he didn’t understand what made you different from the other girls but– 

“Is there something wrong?” you questioned him when he remained mute, the cupid’s bow of your lips titillated him. 

“Just enjoying the view,” he smirked in return, leaning one shoulder against the doorframe, his hands buried in the pocket of his slacks. Desire bloomed in his stomach at the sight of your exposed skin, his lips itching to mark bruises on them. “You’re quite an actress yourself,” Eren countered, “Is running away from older men your hobby or something?”

“Actually, I’m more into younger guys these days.”

“Well, isn’t that convenient?” He tilted up his chin, his eyes drooping, coated with allure. “I happen to like older women.”

Your smile was both shy and seductive, just the perfect amount to fill his heart with yearning. “Then, what should we do about it?”

Eren mirrored you the same way. “I’ve got an idea.”

***

The way he laced his fingers with yours as he led you through the crowd was so natural that it almost felt like you’d known him for years. His palms were calloused and his veins were protruding under the skin of his arms, a stark contrast to how beautiful his profile was. His eyes were both heavy with secrets and yet tender and innocent enough to show how young he was to the world. Your instinct told you to not put any faith in him but your heart was at ease and your body was craving to feel the ridges of his muscles.  

The ends of his strands were still damp from the quick shower he took, feeding you with imaginations of him running his hands through his hair, steam surrounding his sun-kissed skin with droplets of water sliding down his back. Combined with the way his black button-down shirt was clinging to his skin, highlighting the muscles in his arms, and showcasing the flatness of his stomach, you wondered just how perfect he’d look wearing nothing.

He was the most attractive man you had ever landed your eyes on, that was for certain.

You weren’t usually the type of person who’d spend the night with strangers during your mission in a country you weren’t familiar with. But your last job was enervating and the memory of your target’s brain splattered across the floor was really something you wanted to forget. That was why being tangled with his body under the sheets seemed like the perfect getaway to escape your reality.

“I’ll have a shot of vodka.” You heard Eren say to the bartender before he turned around to face you. “You?”

“I’ll have what you have.”

He raised an eyebrow that was soon followed by a little grin, slightly impressed that you could handle your liquor. “Then just give us a bottle of it,” he corrected.

“Is this your first trip to Bogota?” You questioned as you took a seat at a table in a secluded corner. The music was blasting vehemently in the background in a language you only understood a term or two in. Eren was sitting on the opposite side with one hand drawn on the table, his fingers nearly brushing against yours as he tapped them once or twice against the beat. 

“Maybe,” he answered, his lips still smiling as he took in your features. There wasn’t enough light in the room to reveal every detail, giving him a sense of mystery of how your eyes gleamed in desire for him. Eren was only eager to unveil it. 

“And how are you enjoying your trip so far, Mr. Kruger?”

“I wasn’t enjoying it until now.” He took a shot of his vodka before he slid the bottle in your direction, urging you to pour one for yourself.

“Yeah?” You took a shot. “Why is that?”

His eyes, the way they shifted down to your lips before he dragged them back to yours again, provided a clear answer. “Because of the music,” he replied, his charming smile turned into a devilish smirk. “And this.” He gestured toward the bottle.

You poured one for him. “Nothing to do with me?”

“I don’t know.” He brought the shot glass to his lips, murmuring his next words against the glass. “Do you want it to have something to do with you?”

“Maybe.” You stood up from your seat, placing your glass down with a thump. “So it speaks.” You trailed your hand along his shoulder as you walked away to the dance floor. “But does it dance?”

Eren bit his lower lip, a sensuous grin about to form on his face. Taking another shot of the alcohol, he rose from his seat, following your lead.

His hands were strong and dangerous as they circled your waist, pressing his chest against your spine, matching the sway of your hips as you danced to the beat of a seductive Latin song. You let yourself relax, dancing like there was nobody else in the room. 

Your hips were pressed against one another, grinding close. You could feel the zipper of his jeans pressing against your behind. You held his hands, guiding them to roam over your body. When he raked his nails against your thigh, you lean your back against his chest, one hand going up to rest against his nape.

Eren’s lips were grazing against your earlobe, his breath fanning the side of your face. “Not sure if I’ve said this before,” he murmured, voice low and breathy, waking up the tiny hairs on your nape. “But you’re fucking gorgeous.”

With a satisfied smirk, you turned around to face him, arms reaching up to wind themselves around his neck. “You’re not so bad yourself,” you praised with a playful twinkle in your eyes.

Eren caressed your cheek with delicate fingers, his gaze locked to your lips before he moved his hand down to the dip of your spine. He tugged you close until there was no space left between your bodies. You sighed at the contact, fire coursing through your veins. His touch was electric, leaving a trail of goosebumps everywhere his fingers grazed. “Then,” he whispered again, his face finding a new favorite spot in the crook of your neck. “What should we do about it?”

The attraction between you was sizzling, almost suffocating you with it. The way he moved to the music, leading your body to follow, was sinful, almost erotic, and neither of you cared about your surroundings as if they had faded into a blur.

You wanted to kiss him, wanted it more than anything you had ever wanted. This stranger with his intoxicatingly pleasant musky scent, his dangerous little eyebrow raise, his ardent gaze, and godforsaken smirk—you wanted all of him.

You were throwing all the signs and he reciprocated with a kiss. Tilting your head by framing your chin with his lean fingers, he brought his lips to yours, lightly at first but scorchingly deep and dominant once he received your confirmation. As if you were untied from the knot that was holding you back, you succumbed desperately to his touch, fingers fisting against the fabric of his collar. His grunt was a sensual touch, fogging your mind and making it hard for you to keep up with every movement of his lips.

He pulled away before you were even the least satisfied, hooded eyes gleaming under the dim lighting.

“Spend the night with me,” he said, wetting his lower lip. His eyes never stopped perceiving the way your lips were glistening from the kiss. Eren dipped his head again, tasting the alcohol on your tongue with his own. His mouth moved to the side of your lips, tracing your jawline until he was breathing against your ear. “I need to make you cum.”

Adrenaline pumped through your veins and you were ecstatic. The way he said his words were like a dying man wishing for more days to live. He made you feel desired, made you feel worshiped, made you feel dangerous.

The walk back to his suite was filled with nothing but the sound of your heartbeat deafening your ears. You kept your eyes locked at the spot between his shoulder blades as he led the way, sliding his card to unlock the door and tugging you inside his room the second it clicked open.

There was no ado, no coquettish smiles, only eagerness and a desperate sense of urgency. The way you both frantically searched for each other’s lips as soon as he closed the door was relieving after spending hours pining for one another. He was so intoxicating that he numbed your senses at once. And yet, at the same time, he made you feel conscious of the butterflies fluttering their wings inside your stomach. 

“Fuck, I’ve been wanting to do this,” he breathed heavily against your mouth, “From the second I laid my eyes on you.”

He lifted one of your legs so he could push up the fabric of your dress, his hand sliding against the smoothness of your thigh. Sparks of fire prickled against your skin but you wanted to be burned. You wanted to be consumed by him. You licked your lip once before you pressed your mouth hotly against his again. “Then you shouldn’t have—” he distracted you by taking your bottom lip between his teeth, suckling on it a little bit before he let it go. “—wasted so much time.”

He tittered, his hand shifted up to hold you by your waist. Pressing his hips against yours, Eren stole an involuntary moan out of your mouth. “Yeah?” He clamped his fingers along your wrist, brought it over your head, and pinned it against the wall. He was dominating, his grip was tight, leaving you immobile. Of course, you could break free if you wanted to, but right now, at this moment, you only wanted him to hold you tighter. “You’ve been wanting me too?”

There was a trace of mischievousness in his voice that matched how young he looked but he wasn’t the only one who could be playful. “Well,” you paused to lodge your leg between his, your knee rubbing against his hardness, giving him the friction he needed. “What do you think?”

He cursed under his breath but he had his lips smashed against yours before he could finish a word. He pushed you away from the wall and you followed his lead to the bed, never breaking off the kiss. You tried to unbutton his shirt as fast as you could but he helped you rip the rest of the buttons away. Tumbling down onto the sheets, you pulled him down with you.

Eren stood on his knees, giving you a show. The way he took off his shirt, the muscles in his abs contracting at the movement nearly made you gape, but not as much as the way his eyes were peering into yours. They were as dark as the night, so intense, and filled with nothing but wild lust. He was so captivating, his entire being was, even in the dim lighting of the room. 

“I’d love to have you stare at me more,” he said, his tone teasing and dripping with allure. “But patience has never been one of my virtues.”

He positioned himself between your legs, his black jeans unbuttoned but not yet unzipped, his belt unclasped. “Good,” you replied with a smirk, circling your arms around his neck. “’Cause I’d never want you to slow down.”

Eren only spent a few seconds stealing the breath directly from your lips before he went down to your neck. His mouth sucked bruises, hard and rough. The way his teeth prickled against your skin made you hiss both from pleasure and pain.

“Sorry.” There was mirth hidden in his honeyed voice. “I’ve got a bad habit of marking what’s mine.”

He didn’t sound the least apologetic but you weren’t objecting. The fact that he didn’t hold back added so much thrill. “So, I’m yours now?” you taunted him back, just as cocky. “That’s news to me.”

“For the night.” He continued grazing his teeth down your skin. “Hope your fiancée doesn’t mind.”

Fiancée? “I don’t—” You were lucky that your mind recalled the fake engagement ring you wore earlier that day as a part of your cover. The same one that you had taken off in secret and slipped it back into your purse along with your knife when he was in the shower. He noticed that? “Well, we’ve hit rock bottom anyway,” you lied. “I’m planning to break up with him when I get back.”

“So cruel,” he faintly laughed, peppering butterfly kisses as he made his journey down your body. He settled himself between your legs, slightly raising your thigh so he could brush his lips against your sensitive skin. “First, that old man. Now, your fiancée. Seems like breaking people’s hearts is your hobby.”

You nibbled on your lip, your mind reeling in anticipation. You could feel his hot breath fanning against your lingerie. “Probably just as much as you like teasing your women.”

“Teasing?” He raised an eyebrow seductively, combining it with one corner of his lips curving upward. “You mean this?” He darted out his tongue, licking you once over your laced underwear, just right above your arousal.

You threw your head back, your eyebrows sewed together with your eyes tightly shut as you drowned in rapture. It had been a while since you did this with someone. You weren’t usually this sensitive, but—

“Oh?” He simpered, running his tongue along his lower lip as he committed your expression into memory. “That’s a cute reaction.” 

“I didn’t realize you were this talkative.” Despite your effort in staying unfazed, you were aware of how your breathing began to tatter. His fingers were pressed against your thighs, pushing your legs apart as wide as he could.

“Well, you haven’t known me long enough yet. I am talkative.” He bent his head down, hooking his finger against the side of your lingerie, and pulled the fabric away just enough for him to run his tongue along your folds. “They said I’m pretty good with my mouth.” Ten seconds later, you realized that it was an understatement.

You breathed out, sighing in bliss as you surrendered yourself to him. You let him do whatever he wanted to do with your body, his expert hands drew designs on your skin like you were his favorite masterpiece. You didn’t care if he treated you as an object of desire. It was only fair, seeing how you’d been treating him in the same way. You needed him just as much as he needed you, body craving for another, and it felt so fucking good to be submerged in this kind of pleasure, to be enveloped with his warmth, to have him moving inside you—tongue, fingers, and him entirely.

Eren noticed how you brought your hand to your lips, your point finger lying between your teeth to stop you from moaning too loudly. He darted his tongue once more to taste your heat before he stopped and stole your hand away from your mouth. 

“Guide me,” he said, pressing a kiss against your inner palm. His breath felt hot, almost feverish against your skin. “I’ve told you before. I need to make you cum. So, guide me.” He leaned into your touch when you slipped your fingers around his dark locks. “Tell me how you like it.”

“I don’t think you need some guidance,” you giggled.

“Or maybe I just want you to ride my face,” he corrected. “Spread those lips for me, baby, come on. Spread them.”

You spread your pussy’s lips apart with your fingers and Eren closed the space without waiting, driving his tongue past your entrance. “I want you to use me,” he said. “I want you to cum all over my face. Can you do that for me?”

Being both a spy and an assassin, you had mastered the way to keep your emotions and expressions in check, but Eren could break your facade in seconds. “Yes…” 

He smiled, so angelically it was unsettling. “Good girl,” he whispered against your folds. “Now tell me what you want me to do to you.”

You felt heat creeping up to your cheeks, an unfamiliar sensation after all these years. “Just continue with what you’re doing.”

“What was I doing?” He tilted his head like a clueless child but his salacious smirk spoke the truth.

He was a fucking tease and yet, somehow, that only made him thousand times more enticing. “I want your tongue inside me.”

“Hmm,” he complied, repeating his motion. “What else?”

“Want you to fuck me with it.”

Eren grinned, eyes glinting with lust and satisfaction. “Now that wasn’t so hard, was it?”

You knew you were tugging too hard on the roots of his hair but even if he was hurting, he didn’t let out any protest. He only let out a guttural groan, the vibrations went straight to your sensitive skin as he sucked around your clit. Your juice coated his tongue and he wanted the taste to linger forever. “Mmm,” he purred. “You taste better than how I imagined you would be.”

“Your fingers,” your command started to sound more like a plea with each second passing by. “Fuck me with your fingers too.”

He snorted, amusement on his face. “Acting like a fucking queen now, aren’t you?”

“I thought you wanted me to be your queen.” You rocked your hips, using his face as you pleased. “You want my cum all over your face, don’t you?”

Eren loved the way you matched his energy. “That, I do.” Using two of his fingers, he plunged them inside without waiting for you to adjust. You flinched. The friction burned.

“Did it hurt?” He asked with a cheeky grin, pumping them in and out of you. “Sorry.”

“Shut up,” you hissed. “You’re enjoying it.”

“Maybe.” He drew his fingers away, taking them inside his mouth as if he couldn’t bear a second too long without having your taste on his tongue. “You see, baby, I like to think that pain and pleasure go hand in hand. For example–” Without warning, he sank his teeth into the supple skin of your thigh, robbing a gasp out of your mouth and forcing your body to jolt in agony. You were no stranger to pain, but Eren had no mercy on his bite, a little harder than that and he would’ve ripped your skin apart. He let the throbbing ache sink in for a few seconds before he replaced them with his lips, soothing the burn with sweet kisses and teasing tongue. He licked at the wound, gently suckling on your skin before he mapped his way back to your center. “You can only appreciate pleasure once you’ve felt pain.” He pressed his mouth hotly against your heat, tongue flicking and tasting. You shivered, baffled at the sensation he was giving you. “It makes everything feel more intense, doesn’t it?” 

You began to rock your hips against his mouth, keeping one hand at the back of his skull to keep him still. “Seems like you enjoy giving pain more than you give your women pleasure.”

 “Well, I guess, it depends,” he stopped you momentarily to form his answer. He rubbed his thumb against your clit before he lowered his head once more. “When a pussy tastes this good,” he licked a stripe up your folds, “I’d rather fuck it with my tongue for hours.” 

Eren was so good, too good, that you began to squeeze your thighs together, almost suffocating him when you cummed on his tongue not a few minutes later. He lapped up your juices, half-lidded eyes observing your expression. You’re beautiful, he thought, so goddamn beautiful I want to tear you apart.

He sat on his heels, wiping his mouth and his chin with a slide of his thumb. “How was that, baby?”

You tried to catch up with your breath. “That was… amazing.”

His smirk was so arrogant that it felt like he was degrading you. “I won’t let you sleep tonight.” His fingers toyed with the button of his jeans. “Let’s see how many times I can make you cum before you pass out.”

“Is that so?” You tangled your legs around his waist and flipped your position. Now that he was lying on the bed, you mounted yourself on his hips. “Let’s see how many times I can edge you before you start begging for my mercy.”

“Feisty, aren’t you?” He chuckled, sitting up so he could unzip your dress, one hand palming against your breast while the other one held your face. He slanted his mouth across yours, tongue slithering inside to plunder. You could faintly taste yourself on his tongue, almost making you whimper from the desperation of wanting to connect your body with his.

You yanked both of his jeans and boxer briefs down just enough to release him out of his confinement. You did him a favor by going down on him, as it was only fair after the amount of stimulation he’d brought you. Eren had his eyes closed, his fingers finding home in your hair. “Fuck,” he cursed breathily. “You’re so fucking good at this.”

You hummed in response, hollowing your cheeks until his hips buckled. “Shit, I want to fuck your mouth so bad,” he breathed heavily, voice hazy. “Want to cum down your throat.”

“Well, then,” you swirled your tongue around his tip. “What’s stopping you?”

Yanking you away by taking a handful of your hair, Eren guided your face back to his. He pressed his thumb against the corner of your mouth and you parted your lips, letting him slip it inside and press his pad against your tongue. “I want to make you cum again,” he stated, his desire burning inside him when you rolled his finger between your teeth. “With my cock this time.”

“Condom.” You stroked him with your fingers. “Do you have one?”

“In my bag.”

“Too far. I’ll just get mine.” You jumped off him, making him groan at the loss of your warmth. You discarded every piece of clothing off your body as you rummaged the inside of your purse, tossing him a packet of condom when you found one.

“It’s too small,” Eren said and when you glowered, he sniggered. “Just kidding. You’re cute.” He ripped the packet with his teeth but stopped when he saw you crawling back to his lap. “Will you do me the honor?”

You sighed, taking the condom from his hand. “Do you do this with all your one night stands?”

“Only with the pretty ones.”

You rolled your eyes but you placed the rubber around his length, stroking him gently as you coated it with lubricant. You positioned yourself on top of him, enveloping him with your warmth inch-by-inch as you adjusted to his size.

“Fuck,” you groaned. “You’re so—”

“Big?” He wiggled an eyebrow, his smirk was filthy. “Told ya.”

“I was about to say annoying.”

“No, you weren’t.” Eren pushed himself off the bed, his mouth latching on your breast, sucking bruises as he moaned against your skin. “Ah, fuck,” he hissed, tongue flicking against your nipple. Your walls were fluttering around him, taking him in to the hilt. “You’re so fucking hot inside.”

You only wasted a few seconds to prepare yourself before you moved your hips, sliding up and down his length with one hand on his chest and another one on his nape. “Does it feel good?” You asked but the answer was clear. His eyes had begun to droop, his lips on your skin pausing every now and then as he was too busy drowning in bliss.

“You sound cocky,” he commented, smacking and squeezing your ass cheeks with both palms before he rested his hands on the dip of your waist, his fingers clawing against the skin. 

Every movement of your body was obscene. “You don’t like it?”

“I love it,” he answered your provocative smirk with his own. 

Eren let you take control just for now, and you perceived it as a challenge. Leaning back with your hands propping you up from behind, your palms pressed flat against the sheets, you gave him the dirtiest lap dance, moving up and down his cock with your teeth biting seductively at the corner of your lip. His eyes were transfixed on your hips, lips parted in a silent moan. 

“Think you can handle me, baby?” you teased him. “Seems like you’re enjoying this way too much.”

His gaze fleeted back to yours, his amorous smile reeling you in. “Think you can handle me?”

“Wha–”

Without warning, he slammed your body down to the bed, raising both of your legs high in the air, and slid himself back in one quick motion. Hard, deep and fast, he pounded into you, over and over again until you had your fingers twisted against the sheets, your toes curling in pleasure. “Fuck–” You gasped, arching your back. He snapped his hips forward, forcing you to choke out his name. “Eren–”

“Keep your eyes on me,” he reminded you, his nails digging into your skin. He rested your legs on his shoulders, hugging you by your thighs. Eren looked down at you, his voice a pitch lower when he added, “Always on me.”

His gaze itself sent a plethora of emotions coursing through your veins, enough to make your stomach twist and turn. The rough material of his jeans grazed against your skin when he lifted your lower half in the air, giving him more access and precision to hit your sweet spot. “There!” You urged him. “Fuck, that feels so–ah, do it again–”

He chortled, deep and sultry. “So demanding,” he muttered, but he gave you what you wanted, fucking you ferociously in the same spot that turned you into a whimpering mess. Had he kept it up for a few seconds longer, you knew it would be over for you but Eren slowed down the pace just to tease, right when you wanted him to go faster. “I was so close,” you mewled in both protest and pleasure, as you could feel his pelvis rubbing against your clit with each sway of his hips.

“I know.” There was a sadistic hint in the way he smiled. 

“I thought you were planning on making me cum.”

“I already did.” His tongue peeked out to swipe across his lower lip, reminding you that you came all over his face just a moment ago. “Now I’m planning to make you my plaything for the night.” His hips were rolling so obscenely almost similar to the way he danced before. “Let’s take it easy, baby.” His hair tie slipped off his strands, luscious dark locks cascading to his shoulders. His grin was cheeky but the rest of his face was contorted in pleasure. “We have all night to ourselves.”

“I want you to fuck me like before.”

“And I’ll give it to you. Be patient.” Eren pulled himself away, spinning your body around until you had your stomach pressed flat on the bed. He was back inside you not a second after, returning to his previous pace, his cock rubbing fast and hard against your walls as he glued his chest to your spine. “Like this, baby?”

“Mmm, yeah,” you breathed out, panting and moaning your way to ecstasy. You had been with many experienced men before, but Eren was unlike any other. He had control over everything while making you lose yours at the same time. He brought his weight down with every thrust, giving you a sense of pleasure that was so intense, it was almost blinding.

“I’ll make sure you get fucked like you deserve it,” he whispered in your ear, his voice breathless, deep, and perilous. “Gonna make use of this pretty little cunt until you can’t walk.” A sudden thrust, one that was so forceful, sent you clawing against the bed, your scream muffled by the pillow. Overwhelmed by the sensation, your body moved away from him in reflex but he kept you still, his fingers sliding up from your chest to your throat. “Don’t run from it,” he growled. “You’re gonna take everything of me. Every fucking inch of me.”

Eren had your neck within his grasp, could crush it in one try if he wasn’t careful. His cock pulsated deep inside, his limbs tangled with yours with only a thin layer of sweat separating your skin. Angling your face to the side, he kissed you from behind. It was just as smothering, consuming and you felt your heartbeat escalating when he choked you a little harder.

He lifted you, forcing you to stand on your knees, your spine flush against his chest. His teeth were prickling against the juncture of your neck.

“Now, tell me, baby.” His smirk formed across your skin. “Who’s your Daddy?”

***

AN: Hey, everyone, thanks for reading another story of mine! I wanted to make this a mini series at first but I'm not sure yet 'cause I still have a few series I need to finish. I've already written the sequel for this (though I still need to edit a few scenes), but I don't know if you're interested so I'll just see how you guys think about this for now. If you want to see more of daddy secret agent eren, who am I to say no 😏

Massive thanks to Sandra, Joli, Coi and Ben who beta-ed this for me. I love you girls so much ❤️

Tagging:

@l6ffys @vivi-et @halparkebitch @fwess @littlemochi @thebeardedmoon @didiyogo @coyloves @erenbean @tehehebri @justasketch @infnteen @naiomiwinchester @spiderlingh @doyochii @ahornyenby @aengelren @sakurashell @princess-jaeger @resonancesoul @blrqt @cacapeepee @persyhange @jaegersdiary @erentoes @trashgremlin36 @meed18 @j0livi0ni @snowflake-201 @jaymihawk @eva-gates @claudevonstrukesblog @sofijaeger @rinsie @blanccofiie @ereninbunu @natanialora @khinjito @ackersune @watermelon-online @tropicsoda @damselofblueroses @alexackrman @bblgumz @jurrasicpork @erenjaegercult @holycandypizza Thank you for reading, lovelies ❤️

[ficsforeren-tags]

Tagging:

@sadtrains @somethingstranges-blog @katykat71114 @ashleighclark98 @doveblackboat

@reddidh @thedegenerateducky @loveeren @erenswife5 @rosietoesy

@xamex9 @wycliffx @calidarr9 @dream-alittlebiggerdarling @juicybuns

@silenthearts @sushiimara @yagamiryuk01 @iman-ismaillee @80s-outsiders

@itsantisocialratworld @piecksarmrest @saoirse-grace @lesfiori @nananira

Our Little Secret - Chapter 3

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Eren Jaeger X Female Reader

Genre: College AU, Spider-Man/Spider-Girl AU, Fluff, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Eventual Smut

Series Summary: Eren Jaeger, a 21-year-old virgin college student who loves his camera a little bit too much, has a crush on you. Every night, he switches on his camera and talks about you but he never could find the courage to speak to you in real life. Strangely enough, he finds it easy for him to befriend Spider-Girl, the crime fighting vigilante, not knowing that you both share the same identity.

Chapter Summary: Never in his life did he ever think that he’d be bestfriends with a crime-fighting vigilante, but Eren is definitely not complaining. As you grow closer, you start to learn more about him, including his past and how deeply he’s in love with you—the real version of you.

Content Warnings: explicit sex scene (happens at the end of the series, can be skipped if you want), swearing, mentions of characters going through depression, traumatic past events

Word Count: 8k

Poster art by the most talented @rainbuniart (follow her on Twitter)

You’ve been bitten again, not by that radioactive spider that gave you your arachnid-like abilities but by that love bug thing Historia was talking about. Because this is it, isn’t it? You’re in love.

Well, to be fair, you’ve never been in love before so you won’t know if you actually are in love with him, but after witnessing how love was depicted in books or those sappy TV shows you watched on Saturday nights, you can confirm that you feel something similar toward him.

The college student version of you might have a crush on him, but Spider-Girl feels something much more intense as she’s much closer to Eren than you could ever be. Spider-Girl knows him—the real him, not the lovesick puppy version of him who can barely speak a sentence to you without stammering his words. Spider-Girl knows his favorite jokes and the things that make his blood boil. Spider-Girl is his friend, the one that he enjoys spending late-night hours talking to on his rooftop, sharing dreams and memories, while you’re just a stranger that he adores from afar. You might have the power to wake up the butterflies in his stomach but Spider-Girl knows for sure what makes his heart beat faster from thrill, or fear, or joy, or even sadness. Eren has been admiring you constantly from the shadows for the last two years, but he feels much more connected with Spider-Girl who he’s known for only two weeks.

But before we go any further, let’s go back in time a little bit.

As promised, you visited his neighborhood again the next morning after that disastrous date happened, even when you were supposed to attend your classes. You told yourself that you were just going to do a quick patrol to make sure that the little kids were safe on their way to school, but really, you just kept swinging back and forth on the road that led to his house, hoping to catch sight of him picking up a new bundle of newspaper off his porch or something (maybe he’s the kind of guy who only wears sweatpants and nothing more in the morning? Definitely a sight I shouldn’t miss). After doing it three more times like an idiot that you were, you gave up with a sigh. Of course, there was an option where you could just walk up and ring his doorbell but you wouldn’t allow yourself to be that stupid.

It was only your luck that you heard a man’s voice shouting, “Muffin! Muffin, stop, come back!” right before you shot your web and swung away. You recognized the voice in a heartbeat as it was the same one that you kept replaying over and over again in your head until your exhaustion caught up to you and you waned into your dreamland. Turning around to face the owner of the deep, pleasantly raspy voice, you saw a little Siberian Husky running toward you. The puppy was chasing after a hummingbird, her head lifted toward the sky, not paying attention to her surroundings. You managed to catch the dog in your arms a moment before it got hit by a car.

“Like father like daughter, I guess,” you chuckled to yourself, reading the name on the little silver chain the dog wore around her neck. “Muffin? What a weird name.” But then again Eren was weird, so you shouldn’t have been surprised.

Eren, who had been chasing after his puppy, sighed in relief. “Oh, thank God,” he said, taking a few more strides until he stopped right before you. He wiped the fat beads of sweat that were about to roll off his chin with the back of his hand, chest heaving up and down as he tried to catch his breath. “Thank you. You’re literally my savior.”

It took you a few seconds to answer as your thoughts were scattered all over the place. Eren clearly woke up this morning and chose violence because what the fuck is he wearing?

Unlike his usual outfit which consisted of a pair of jeans, a button-down shirt, or a simple tee combined with a jacket or a hoodie, he is now wearing a black wife beater—god bless whoever invented this shirt despite its cursed name—and a pair of gray track pants. You had fantasized of seeing him without a shirt, true, but this damn wife beater didn’t do much at concealing his muscles either so it was basically the same thing. It was somehow even sexier this way, and you realized in horror, that you just became Eren Jaeger’s number one simp.

Oh my God, I need to touch some grass.

Based on his appearance, People would conclude that he was in the middle of his morning run when his dog escaped his leash. But you know that’s not true. Eren was on his way to destroy girls’ hearts and ovaries, that’s what he was doing.

For a guy who threw up a whole plate of burrito down your back, he looked like a fucking Greek God and you hated it. He was already handsome and funny. He did not need to be sexy too. And he did it so effortlessly, which was the most dangerous kind of sexy because this man was not aware of what he was doing to your pus—heart. His body was lean and chiseled, with biceps huge enough to compete with your thighs and shoulders broad enough to fit a whole cast of Teletubbies in his arms. When did he even have the time to work out, you wondered. And it wasn’t fair that he had that face and that body with a personality that was just as charming as how Timothee Chalamet behaved on screen. Thanos and his infinity stones aren’t going to be the cause of my death. It’s Eren Jaeger and his fucking wifebeater, goddamn.

“You okay?” Eren asked, unfastening his hair tie only to redo everything all over again as if it was necessary. You didn't want to sound like the whole world revolved around you but he was definitely re-doing his hair just so he’d have a reason to flex his biceps at you. “You haven’t spoken anything in a while.”

Snap out of it, me! Fortunately for you, the dog was doing a great job at breaking the tension. Muffin was growling at you, baring her little teeth as if your whole presence was a threat to her existence. What are you, jealous?

“Your dog needs to learn some manners,” you said as you returned the now barking puppy to her owner.

“Weird, she’s usually friendly with people,” Eren commented with a frown, re-attaching his leash to her necklace. Once he’d placed the dog back on the pavements, he tossed you a smirk. “She must have sensed evil coming out of you.”

“I’m literally a superheroine.”

“Yeah, but maybe you’re going through your corruption arc right now. What is it? You want to take over the world? Want to convert humanity into your slaves?”

I want to make you my slav— “Oh, shut up.”

You both took a walk at the park, which was conveniently empty at that moment as if God was trying to make this atmosphere between you as romantic as possible to make up for what happened last night. As Muffin ran across the springy turf, chasing ducks near the pond, you laid yourself down on the grass, waiting for your own dog to return.

Eren, not a moment later, showed up with a paper bag being held in one arm. He had bought you his favorite cheeseburger and a can of homemade beer from a brand you’d never heard of. “They don’t sell this anywhere else but here. You’ve got to try it.”

You lifted your mask just enough for your mouth to show and Eren swallowed his breath at the sight. You had pretty lips, he thought in an instant, but there was something else bugging him. They looked… familiar, somehow.

“What?” You asked him, popping open the can.

“N-nothing.”

“Never seen a girl’s lips before?”

Eren didn’t answer, distracting himself by taking a large gulp of his drink. “Fuck me,” he moaned with his head thrown back. “This is literally the best drink in the world.”

You couldn’t believe your stomach just flipped at the sound of him moaning over a can of beer. “Really?” Swallowed by your curiosity, you took a sip.

It tasted like shit.

You and Eren might not have the same preference when it came to beers—because that was literally the worst thing you had ever tasted, my God—but you got along really well in everything else. You loved the same books, enjoyed the same movies, fangirled—fanboyed—over the same Avenger. You could talk to him for hours. And you did talk to him for hours, because the next thing you knew, the sun had risen high in the sky and Eren rose to his feet, swatting the dirt off his pants. “I smell like sweat. I need to take a shower.”

No, please, don’t go. “Ugh, finally,” you groaned dramatically. “I was about to say that I was going to go crazy if I had to stand your smell for another minute.”

He laughed and he laughed so beautifully. You didn’t want to be so corny and say his laughter was like music to my ears, but his laughter really felt like music to your ears.

Eren offered you his hand like a gentleman and for a moment you wondered whether there had been anyone else who did that to you when you were wearing your costume. There was none. Being a superhero meant that you had to act strong all the time, and people never bothered to offer you some help. They only wanted you to help them. Perhaps they thought you never needed one. But Eren never treated you as a superhero, did he? He always treated you like a woman. It was easier to fall for him, to regard him as something more than to keep treating him as a friend.

“When can I see you again?” Eren asked before you parted ways.

“I’ll always be around,” you answered with a nonchalant shrug. Eren could sense the little cheeky grin in your voice when you said, “I’m your friendly neighborhood Spider-Girl after all.”

And you stayed true to your words. You might not always be around to watch over everyone, but when it came to Eren, you would always be there for him. It was very unprofessional of you, but people do stupid things when they’re in love, don’t they?

Every time the town grew quiet, sirens were muted, and children were sleeping peacefully in their rooms, your world would revolve around him and only him. You would find yourself landing on your feet without a sound, just a few meters away from his porch. You’d cut off your web from your wrist, and you’d toss a small pebble to his window—a little signal for him to notice that you were outside, ready to share another late-night adventure with your best friend. Eren would always show up in a matter of seconds, dressed in his favorite hoodie and his signature gleeful grin.

You’d nudge your head, saying let’s go for a walk without moving your lips. Eren would nod, three times more than necessary, and less than a minute later, he would walk out the front door carrying two cans of beer in his hands. You would spend hours just aimlessly walking down an empty street, enjoying the song that the gentle wind sang, your knuckles nearly brushing against each other from how close you were walking. Eren would tell stories about his day, and in return, you would tell yours. Curiosity had always been a part of his nature and although he held himself back at first, once you gave him the green light, Eren stopped hesitating and he asked you a month’s worth of questions in one night. It felt overwhelming at first, but talking to him had always been easy.

“So, you could, like, make your own web fluid in your body?” He asked one night as you both walked along the riverside. “How does that even work?”

“I don’t know, it’s just like breathing to me. It just happens.”

“Does it only come out of your wrists or, umm…” He turned awkward, hands making random movements in the air. “Does it come out of anywhere else?”

“Eew!” You tugged on his earlobe. “Pervert!”

“Ouch! That was a logical question!”

“Only the wrists!”

“Okay, okay, geez,” he chuckled, a puckish grin decorating his affable face. “Have you ever had a web block? I mean, like, have you ever run out of webs?”

You thought about it for a moment. “Once. I think I got too stressed out that day and suddenly the webs just wouldn’t come out.”

“What happened?”

What happened? It was the kind of question that left you stunned, your brain incapable of answering right away. You weren’t used to this, to talk about the things that occurred to you when you wore your costume and embraced your alter ego in front of public eyes. No one had ever asked you things like this before as you never allowed them to get too close. Even if you did, no one ever cared enough for you to know about how you felt. They wanted to know the things you could do, wanted to see how they could benefit themselves from it, but no one ever paid attention beyond that.

It felt nice to share about the things you’d been keeping all bottled up inside, and once you opened the lid, everything just poured out like a broken dam. Eren listened, not just with his ears but his heart too. He tried to see from your perspective, imagining himself in your shoes and trying his best to understand how you felt. He hoped by doing so, he could be your band-aid. If you were burned by guilt, he wanted to be there to give the forgiveness you were searching for. If you were hurting, he wanted to be the salve that heals your wound. And if you needed saving, he wanted to be your hero in return.

You told him about the near-death experience you had during your fight against the Lizard. You talked about the dread you felt—how at that moment, you truly feared death, not because of the pain, but because you wouldn’t be able to see the people that you loved ever again. “And I’m afraid that… people would forget about me,” you confessed sotto voce. “I’m afraid that they would move on and forget that I ever existed. Of course, I don’t want them to mourn after me forever but—”

“I’ll remember you,” Eren cut you off, his words echoed like a promise to your ears. “I’ll remember you forever. Right now, this moment we have right here, and everything that I felt for you since the day we met—I will remember them until I die. I know it’s probably weird for me to say this because we’ve only known each other for a few weeks but… You’ve become an important person in my life. Talking to you like this has been the highlight of my day, and I wouldn’t even be alive in the first place if it wasn’t because of you.”

It wasn’t just his words that lifted your spirit, it was the sincerity behind them. “Yeah, you have a knack for getting into trouble,” you smiled sheepishly. “Well, I guess it’s nice to know that at least someone will remember me after I die.”

Eren’s movements came to a halt and you turned around to face him. “Don’t die,” he solemnly said. “I don’t want you to die.”

Your heart squeezed tightly inside your chest. “That’s one of the risks of being a superhero, Ren.”

“Well, then don’t take it,” he insisted. “Don’t take any risks. If it’s a battle you can’t win, run.”

“Running away doesn’t sound like what a superhero would do.”

“You don’t have to be a hero,” his voice turned louder, piercing through the night. “You don’t have to sacrifice yourself to be one. To me, you’re already more than that.”

You froze, his line sounded familiar but you couldn’t recall who said it. Eren didn’t give you much time to ruminate when he took a stride closer. “Don’t die,” he stated again, only this time, it was gentle, not louder than a whisper. “Make sure that you will always come home. Make sure that you will always come back to me.”

Through your lenses, you could witness the worry in his eyes. He didn’t want to bid his farewell, not now, not ever. Even when you parted ways, he always said, “I’ll see you soon,” instead of “Goodbye.”

You felt the same way but you were inexperienced when it came to showing affection or gratitude, and you weren’t a natural like him. “And what happens if I can’t?”

“Then I will never forgive you.” He puffed out his cheeks like a child. “And we’re not gonna be best friends anymore. Also, I’m gonna tell everyone else you’re a loser and that Peter Parker is actually a lot cooler than you.”

He rewarded you with joy, replacing the turmoil churning inside your chest a moment ago. “Tsk. Top ten anime betrayal.”

“Yes, and that’s why you shouldn’t die.”

“Okay, okay, I’m immortal now. Satisfied?” You tittered, spinning around on your heels and walking away. Eren laughed like he always did, following after you with a little, “I wasn’t joking, though. I meant every word I said.”

And you knew he did.

Another month passed by and your relationship grew even stronger each day. Eren still couldn’t find the courage to approach you in your normal clothes, only brave enough to flash you a smile and nothing more. But once you wore your costume, he felt at home.

“Hey, you know where St. Mark’s theater is, right?” He asked you one day as you shared lunch on a rooftop of an abandoned building.

“Yep,” you answered. “Why?”

“Meet me there.” A gleeful grin graced his lips. “Tonight, at eight. On the rooftop, just like this. I’ll bring some snacks and my laptop. We can talk and watch a movie together. It would be fun. You can just do your web thing and swing by. I’ll take the stairs as usual.”

You refrained yourself from chortling. He really had to emphasize that last line. “What, is this a date?”

His jaw dropped, his flush creeping up from his throat to his ears. “N-no—I wasn’t—that wasn’t my intention at all, I swear!”

“Relax, I was kidding.” And yet, there you were, feeling utterly disappointed by how quickly he diminished the idea. “Fine. I don’t have anything else planned for tonight anyway. We’re watching horror.”

“Or maybe we can just watch Mission Impossible instead?” He offered, grimacing. “I’m not really good with scary movies.”

He's 6' 3′′, has a resting bitch face that looks like he’s ready to eat a baby alive, but he can’t stand scary movies? “Stop saying cute things like that, Jaeger, you make me want to bite your cheeks.”

And so, here you are, on the rooftop of St. Mark’s theater. The clock just strikes ten pm, and Eren has tossed his laptop and his empty bucket of popcorn to the side. Being the perfect gentleman as always, he has a blanket laid out on the ground, careful not to get dirt on your freshly washed costume. He’s even brought you a pillow, which is a bummer because you secretly wish he would offer you his arm instead.

But is it called a date when it’s two friends lying down next to each other on the rooftop of a beautiful historical building, watching the stars and sharing childhood memories? To Eren, it might feel like this is just two friends hanging out, but to you, this is the best date you’ve ever been on.

“So, Spider-Girl,” Eren says as he folds his arms under his head. His viridian eyes look darker than ever, reflecting the light of the stars above. “Tell me about your biggest secret.”

“Like I said, I’m not planning to reveal my identity to you, dumbass.”

“Damn, I was hoping you’d do it. I brought you pillows for your comfort. Isn’t that enough for you to trust me?”

“Nope.” You smack your lips, making the word pop.

“Fine,” he grumbles. “Tell me one of your secrets then.”

“Why do you insist on knowing my secrets?”

“Because it’s fun!” The little whine he produces reminds you that mentally he is a child, even when the muscles in his biceps say otherwise. “Come on, we’ll get to know each other better this way.”

“God, you’re so annoying.” But you never find him annoying. His curiosity and his interest in you revive the feeling of how beautiful a friendship could bloom, even between two strangers. How pure and innocent it is. But with Eren it never feels like you’re talking to a stranger now, does it? It always feels like you’ve known him by heart. Like you’ve done this before, talking to him for hours, laughing together over trivial things. Eren feels like home to you, and you wish he feels the same way about you too.

You realize that he’s never made small talk with you, never asked you questions just to forget your answers in the next few minutes. He always asks because he cares. He asks because learning more about you—even about the most mundane things you do—brings joy to him.

But of course, you don’t want to suddenly lay your heart in the open just like that. You should take your time. Guys like mysterious girls, don’t they? “Fine. Remember when I said I liked that drink you gave me?”

“Yeah?”

“That’s a lie. It tasted like shit.”

Eren gasps, whirling his head to the side so fast that you’re amazed it doesn’t fall off his neck. “You take that back!”

“What—it really did taste like shit!”

“That is the best homemade beer in the world!”

“It tastes like cat’s piss—what is wrong with you?!”

“What is wrong with you?!”

It takes another ten minutes for you to finish arguing but it all ends with friendly giggles. Only after that, do you begin to tell him the things you’ve never told anyone else. You tell him about that one incident in summer camp when you broke your ankle and you had to stay home for the rest of the season. You tell him about Mr. Cuddlesworth—the huge teddy bear you owned when you were a baby, the same one that left you crying for days when your father gave it to your relative on the day you moved out to your dorm without your permission. You tell him about the secret diary you had when you were in middle school, even the things you wrote down inside, like your first crush and the first fight you had with your best friend.

Eren nods his head, saying, “I do that too. That diary thing. I’ve been making video journals for three years now.”

“You have?” It comes as a surprise. You wouldn’t think of him as a guy who would spend an hour of his day talking to himself in front of a camera. “What kind of things do you talk about?”

“Just random things.” He shrugs. “I don’t even know why I’m still doing it, actually.”

“Do you remember why you started?”

“Umm…” He huffs before he draws his bottom lip between his teeth. He seems uncertain for a few seconds, conflicted, and a bit ashamed to admit it out loud. But if you can be honest for his sake, then it’s only fair for him to do the same. “After my mother’s death, my therapist recommended me to do regular journaling to help me deal with my depression and anxiety. He said it would help me get a deeper understanding of my emotions or something. I didn’t believe it at first but when my anxiety kept getting worse, I figured it would be better to try doing this instead of popping up pills. I always find it easier for me to talk instead of pouring my thoughts down on paper, so I thought a video journal would do.”

Another surprise, this one strikes you even harder than before. After that incident with him trying to save a baby from the burning building, you had a hunch that something terrible must have happened to him in the past, and losing a family member was your top guess. You just didn’t think that it was his mother that he lost, nor the fact that he had been spiraling through depression because of it. Eren always seemed so bright around you, so lively, and easily thrilled by even the simplest thing that the world could offer. You wouldn’t have thought he was struggling with depression if he hadn’t told you himself.

A great pang grips your heart. “What happened to your mother?” You ask in a muted voice. “If that’s okay to ask…”

Tears don’t return in his eyes even when the memory resurfaces, but it does turn his gaze hollow as he stares back into the night. “Our apartment building was caught in flames,” he says, and your eyes widen behind your lenses. “We were trapped inside our room. I was eleven at that time, I couldn’t do much. We could hear a firefighter calling us to stay still—that they would get us out as soon as possible. We were suffocating, the smoke was too much and I felt like my lungs were burning. They came for us eventually but Mom couldn’t walk. Her leg was stuck under a pillar when the floor above us collapsed. We tried to get her out of there but the pillar was too heavy to lift. She begged the man to take me out of the building, wanting to make sure that I was safe. She told me everything was going to be okay—that we would only be separated for a while. And I remember I was yelling her name, trying to fight back the officer so I could try and remove the pillar by myself. I was hauled outside the building. Two firefighters went back for her, but the fire had blocked the entrance. It took them a while before they could get her body out of the building. She was no longer breathing by then.”

Your words are strangled in your throat, your heart aching with sympathy. “I’m… I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be, it’s not your fault.” He forces himself to smile as if you were the one who needed consolation. “It could’ve been worse, you know. I could’ve lost my whole family that day, but at least, my father and my brother, who weren’t in the apartment at that time, were saved. I wasn’t alone.”

But he sounds like he is, more than ever now. Your face contorts as you struggle to remain reticent. It hurts you to see how hard he tries to act strong right now, even when you can sense the vortex of emotions he’s feeling inside. There’s sadness and loneliness, but above all, there’s regret. He’s blaming himself for her death. Perhaps he thought the firefighters could’ve saved her sooner if he wasn’t there. Or maybe if he was a bit older, if he was a bit stronger, he could carry his mother on his back and escape the building just in time.

“So, that’s why…” You whisper brokenly. “That’s why you wanted to save the baby.”

Eren chews harder on the corner of his lip. “I just don’t want anyone to experience the things I felt that day. The things I feel right now.”

You want to hug him. You want to tell him that he doesn’t have to do it. That everything that happened wasn’t his fault. That he had nothing to do with his mother’s death. The words are there, you just don’t know how to say them because Eren doesn’t seem like he wants to hear anything at all. He doesn’t ask for forgiveness, nor does he want to be forgiven. He only wants to find a way to forgive himself. And if he can do that by saving someone’s life, then he would gladly sacrifice his own to achieve that.

Eren is more of a hero than you could ever be.

“Sorry,” he says, his awkward chuckles reverberating in the air, loud enough to break the tension. “I just ruined our first date with all this depressing talk, didn’t I?”

You’re grateful that you have your mask on. At least this way, he won’t be able to tell that you have tears brimming in your eyes. “Oh, so this is a date,” you reply, hoping he can’t sense the sorrow in your voice. “You should’ve been honest from the start. I would’ve worn my frilly skirt.”

Eren laughs, a little bit more genuinely this time. “Your turn. I want to know your biggest secret for real this time. Anything except your identity is okay, right? Tell me about your first kiss.”

He’s trying hard to lighten up the mood and you appreciate his effort even though your hands are still itching to pull him into your embrace, comfort him until he lets his walls crumble down, hold him until his tears are dry, and hug him until he can laugh as he did a few minutes ago. “You wanna know about my legendary first kiss?” You dramatically sigh into the air. “Well, it happened at a birthday party. I was thirteen and we were playing Seven Minutes in Heaven.”

“Oh no,” he winces. “Sounds like a bad experience.”

“Well, it depends on how you define it. Is it really a bad experience when you had your first kiss in a closet with a boy who loved to eat his own booger? Is it really that bad if your first kiss started with your teeth knocking against each other and ended up with his tongue slobbering all over your face like a dog?”

Eren turns to face you, the disgust on his face turns into pity. “Dude, I’m so sorry.”

“That kiss could’ve been my villain origin story,” you mutter, and he titters in response. His little giggles stop abruptly, however, when you ask him, “What about you?”

He tenses. “You wanna know about my first kiss?”

“It’s only fair.” You act nonchalant even when your curiosity is gnawing at you from the inside.

“Umm…” His fingers start tapping restlessly against his stomach. “I, uhh… I haven’t had one, actually.”

“WHAT?!” You’re so shocked, you can’t stop yourself from sitting up, shouting the word loud enough for your own ears to ring. Eren, startled like a little kitten, immediately rolls over and pushes himself off the ground.

“W-what?!” He panics, spinning his head around from one side to the other. “Did something happen? Are your spidey senses tingling? Are we in danger right now?!”

This is embarrassing. And it is really your fault for overreacting but how can you not? Eren Jaeger? The resident hot nerd hasn’t had his first kiss? He’s a virgin?! Is everybody fucking blind?! How can they let this man walk on earth for twenty-one years and not tap that magnificent ass?! Not that you’re in the position to say anything since you’ve been stealing glances at him for weeks now and you still haven’t tapped that magnificent ass. Shame on you.

“No, it’s—” you try to come up with a lie. It doesn’t have to make sense, he’s an idiot after all. You just have to make it sound believable. “I thought I just heard someone screaming but… I guess it’s just the wind.”

“Oh…” Eren still has his heart pulsating vehemently inside his chest but it gradually returns to its normal pace. “You scared me a little. I thought it was one of those symbiotes making a comeback.”

“You mean Venom? Nah, he’s besties with Eddie now.”

“Oh, okay, cool.”

Eren returns to the ground, sitting cross-legged beside you while you pull your knees to your chest. You really, really want to ask more about why in the world he hasn't had his first kiss yet, but would it make you sound too curious? Make you sound like you’re interested in him? Not that you aren’t, but still…

“So,” you break the silence, “I think it’s about time for you to reveal your biggest secret.”

“My biggest one?” He chuckles, his taut muscles slowly unwinding now that you’ve both stepped back into the comforting, friendly atmosphere you were in. “Okay, ask away.”

“Tell me about your crush.” Please let it be me, please let it be me, please let it be me. “Is there someone you like?” If he doesn’t say my name, I will literally choke myself to death with my web.

Eren dawdles, contemplating if it’s wise for him to be completely honest, but then again, if there’s anyone in the world that he feels comfortable enough to reveal his love life to, it would be you. It’s not like you go to his campus, right? You’re a superhero. There’s no way you could balance between going to college and saving the world at the same time, or so he thought. Hell, for all he knows, maybe you’re a forty-year-old lady looking for things to do aside from writing smutty fanfictions all day.

He takes a deep breath and it feels like he’s taking the air out of your lungs. You wait with bated breath, heart pumping so loudly you can barely hear anything else.

But you heard him.

You heard him say your name.

And you feel like you’ve unearthed a greater joy than anything you’ve ever known. It might sound like an exaggeration knowing how you’ve only been friends with him for two weeks but… You had wished for it. You wanted to hear his lips form your name.

“Oh.” Pretending like his answer didn’t just tug on your heartstrings is harder than lying to your mom about the two hours long make-out session you had with your ex Porco Galliard on her couch. “That’s a pretty name. Who is she?”

“The most beautiful girl in the world probably,” he says with a dreamy sigh, eyes glimmering with wonder. There you go again, your heart banging against your rib cages. “We go to the same university but we have different majors. She’s one of the most popular girls. Definitely way out of my league.”

“That’s not true!” You correct him, making him flinch in surprise with the sudden shriek. Damn, I need to chill down a little. “I mean,” you clear your throat, adding more bass to your voice. “That’s not true,” you repeat, much calmer this time. “I think you’re okay for a guy. Decent.” What the hell am I even saying, oh my God.

He chuckles. “Yeah, well she deserves better than decent. She deserves the best.”

I don’t need the best. I need you. “Have you ever talked to her?”

“Once. Only because she caught me taking pictures of her in secret. I must have looked so pathetic.”

You smile at the memory. He was so cute back then. “Eew, gross, what a pervert.”

“It wasn’t like that,” he whines again, jutting out his lower lip. “Look, I’m desperate, okay? I’m too scared to talk to her.”

“Scared? You literally jumped inside a burning building to save lives and you’re scared of talking to a girl?”

“She’s not just a girl, she’s…” He makes a steeple of his fingers on his lap. “She’s the one.”

Your stomach flips. “You’re in love with her?”

He blushes, ears painted red. “Y-yeah. I think I do.”

Shit. It’s like sunshine just floods your soul, your feet barely touching the ground. Shit, shit, shit. “Sounds serious.”

“Well, yeah, I mean I’ve—” He blows out his cheeks. “I’ve been thinking about her non-stop for what feels like forever now. Literally all I talked about in my video journals these days is about her. I have her pictures on my phone, like… thousands of them. She took a selfie one time using my camera and I’ve been using it as my wallpaper ever since on every device I own.”

Oh my God, that is so cute. A little creepy too, but… cute. “That’s embarrassing.”

“Ugh, I know,” he admits in shame, hugging his knees to his chest and burying half of his face behind them. “I hate myself for this but I can’t help it. She’s so pretty, you know? I could just stare at her face for hours.”

“Please don’t tell me you had one hand inside your pants as you looked at her pictures.”

He turns quiet. He actually says nothing for the first two seconds and that’s two seconds too long. “No,” he mumbles, very unconvincingly.

And when you say, “You’re absolutely disgusting,” you really meant your words, but at the same time, you can’t help but feel… flattered.

“What—I’m a man!” He tries to reason as if that were an acceptable excuse. “Us boys have needs, okay? It only happened one time, I swear.” You haven’t even said anything and he’s already turning even more frantic by the second. “Fuck, please don’t tell her I said that. I’m literally going to kill myself if she finds out about this.”

Well, it’s not gonna be your fault that you find out. He’s telling everything on his own. “I don’t even know her,” you mutter flatly, even though you’re having the hardest time trying not to laugh. This whole situation is ridiculous.

“Oh, you’re gonna love her.” As if you just flip a switch, the panic in his eyes is replaced with the admiration he holds for you. “Everyone loves her. She’s the most wonderful thing. She’s like… She’s like the first snow you see on Christmas. Like a shot of espresso. She’s so energetic and enthusiastic; charming and cute. She’s like sunshine walking on earth. She’s everything that’s good in the world.”

Being on the other side of a confession is one thing, but hearing the man you like spouting words about you like he’s reading love poetry is truly something else. “A-ah, I see.” Your stutter almost gives you away but Eren is too busy being a lovesick puppy to care. “How can you be so sure, though? I mean, you barely talk to her, right? What if it turns out she’s toxic? Like, she gets jealous a lot, super possessive, talks shit about your family, and so on.”

You’re not sure why you are trying to beat some sense into him when God is literally doing you a favor, but a part of you wants to make sure that he loves you not just because of your looks or the persona he assumes you have. What if this is just an obsession? A harmless crush going too far? What if he’s just trying to convince himself that he’s in love with you just because he likes the idea of being in love? Hell, what does he know about love anyway? He hasn’t even had his first kiss.

Worry starts to rise quickly inside your chest as you wait for his answer.

“I don’t think she’s that kind of person,” he says.

“Trust me. People aren’t always as nice as they look. There’s evil inside all of us.”

He turns to you, an eyebrow raised in question. “Well, shit, that got dark real quick. What happened? Someone hurt you?”

“N-no.” You grow flustered. “I’m just saying that you sound a bit naive to me.”

“Is that a bad thing?” Eren folds his arms and lays them above his knees, using them as a pillow for him to rest his cheek before he casts a tender smile at you. “Armin often scolds me for that too. I’m gullible. I trust people so easily. And you’re right, maybe I am naive, but what is so wrong with that? What is so wrong with trying to see the best in people? Trying to see the best the world could offer?”

“You’re weirdly optimistic.”

“You’re just too pessimistic.”

You exchange stares and his grin grows a little wider until a peal of laughter escapes your mouth. “You would’ve made a great hero,” you convey the words you’ve been wanting to say. “A much better hero than me. Too bad that tarantula wasn’t a radioactive one. Could’ve made a great Tarantula Boy.”

“Tarantula Man,” he corrects you, amused. “I think you’re amazing too. I know Spider-Man is more popular, but I’ve always been a fan of Spider-Girl.”

Out of all the things you heard him say tonight, this one paints fire to your cheeks. “Shut up. You’re lying.”

“I’m not.” Hearing you snort, Eren reaches to his side, snatching his camera from his backpack. Once he’s done switching it on and tapping his thumb against the same button relentlessly, he offers the camera to you. “Here. Look at this.”

You retrieve it from him, bringing it onto your lap as you rake your eyes from one image to another. He has taken photos of you. No, not you. Spider-Girl. These are snapshots of you in action. There are more than twenty pictures of you swinging from one building to another above him. There’s a photo of you talking to a police officer as you tried to help them fight a robbery that was on the news. He has a few pictures of you high-fiving the little kids too, doing backflips and striking poses for their adventurous eyes to admire.

“Wow, stalker much?” You scoff when, really, you want to thank him for making you feel appreciated, maybe even reward him with a light kiss on his cheek.

“Like I said, I’m a fan,” he says, his gentle smile turning into an elfin grin. “I don’t think I’ve said this before but I really like your suit. It’s very creative of you to add the hoodie. Hoodies are kinda my thing too.”

“Gross.” Your finger stops tapping against the button when a picture of you shows up—the real version of you. That shirt and that skirt—it was the outfit you wore three days ago. You were laughing in the parking lot with Historia, talking about the lousy date the blonde girl had with a senior from the music department. You look much more beautiful in his photos. Maybe it’s because of the lighting, the way the sunset made your skin glow. Or maybe it’s the angle he used, capturing your best profile as he knows you better than you know yourself. Do you always look like this in his eyes? “Is this her?”

“Umm…” He brings a hand to the back of his head, scratching his nape as he averts his gaze. “Yeah…” Eren returns to the previous position he was in, curling himself into a ball, resting his cheek against his arm as he steals a peek at you. Not a moment later, a tiny adoring smile blooms on his face, scrutinizing you from the side.

“What?”

“I wonder what you look like underneath that costume,” he says, his gaze softening, almost as if he was admiring you from afar.

You turn timorous, his stare makes you feel self-conscious—naked, even when you’re covered in spandex from head to toe. “I don’t resemble your crush in the slightest, that’s for sure.”

“Actually, I was about to say the opposite.” His reply startles you, and when you take a glimpse of his face to see his expression, you can’t look away, trapped under his gaze just as much as you are trapped under his spell. “I think you’re similar to her in a way. I can tell that you smile a lot under that mask.” His voice is as delicate as the way his lips curve up in a beautiful smile. “Whenever I say something that interests you, there’s this little change in your voice that I can tell you’re either smiling or holding back your giggles. I think that’s really cute.”

His voice echoes through the labyrinth of your mind and you wish it can stay there forever. The words he said sound like it’s the sweetest compliment you’ve ever heard. How can he tell? Have you always been that transparent?

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You’re panicking but at least you didn’t stutter your words. You keep yourself busy by punching the buttons on his camera. It doesn’t help make you feel less jittery and embarrassed when more photos of you are displayed one by one on the screen. “Dude, how many pictures of her do you have in here? This is endless! My thumb’s about to fall off.”

With his blush blossoming fervently on his cheeks, he snatches the camera away from your hands. “I know, I’m disgusting,” he mumbles under his breath.

“You’re a little bit perverted, but I won’t say you’re disgusting.” Your heart still beats fast. “So, you like her face, huh?”

“Yes, but it’s not… just that,” he professes quietly. “She’s beautiful—very beautiful—but it’s not her beauty that attracts me, it’s… She looks like this girl I knew when I was young.”

You thought nothing could erase the intense flare of joy inside you, but the second the words this girl departed from his mouth, you feel your heart drop to your stomach. “What, like…” Calm down now, it’s probably not as bad as you think. “Like your first love or something?”

“Probably…” He pauses for a second, ruminating. “Yeah, I guess she was. She looks like my first love.”

This is all your fault. If you hadn’t allowed yourself to be too happy, you wouldn’t have felt like you just got slapped across the face. Sadness and disappointment pulse through your veins but you keep your lips pressed tight.

“There was this girl I met when I was young,” Eren says, probably realizing the heavy silence that suddenly stretches between you and thinking that elaborating further about his first love would be great to ease the tension. It’s not. You wish for him to stop but you don’t want to be so transparent. Left with no other choice, you can only listen.

“I was diagnosed with a severe respiratory infection when I was nine,” he begins. “I remember my mom told me that during the first week I was hospitalized, I couldn’t even breathe without a ventilator. It took almost a month for my lungs to recover. Mom and Dad had to work twice as hard to pay the hospital bills since we didn’t have that much money to begin with. Dad ran a small clinic in town, but he didn’t get as many patients as he used to. Mom decided to help out, and she took a double shift at a restaurant, working day and night to meet our ends. My brother Zeke was still in seventh grade, and he had to stay with our grandparents for a month because my parents could never stay home for long.

“Mom and Dad always tried to spend some time with me at the hospital but I remember how they always looked so exhausted. Mom always tried to smile but she could barely keep her eyes open. Dad was always on the phone, trying to borrow money from our relatives or friends. I didn’t understand at that time. I only felt lonely, only wished my parents could be there for me. But I understand it now, and every time I think about it, all I feel is guilt. It was all because of me.”

“It wasn’t because of you,” you can’t stop yourself from speaking out your thoughts. “You’re their son. It’s only natural for them to do everything they could to make sure you were okay. It wasn’t like you wanted to be sick. Stop beating yourself up.”

Eren watches you with unblinking eyes before he melts into another smile, bumping his shoulder against yours in a playful manner. “Thanks. It’s so like you to yell at me at times like this.”

“I just don’t like it when you get all emo on me. It doesn’t suit you.” Because Eren only deserves to have a smile on his face and endless joy in his heart. “What happened then?”

“Well, Mom always swang by the hospital right after she was finished with her shift. I was already sleeping by then but I remember there was this one time when I woke up in the middle of the night, and I found her sitting on a chair next to my bed. She was holding my hand, too tired to keep herself awake that she didn’t budge even when I called out to her. It was enough, though.” His face is set in resigned sad lines but he keeps the smile on his lips intact, filled with longing. “To know that she was there was enough for me. She would leave early in the morning before I was awake. And I would spend the entire day alone in my bed, watching Cartoon Network on TV, and eating the food the nurses gave me.”

Even if you had closed your eyes, you could still sense the feeling of solitude that shrouded him back then only by the sound of his voice. “You must have been so lonely.”

“I was for a while,” he admits. “But then there was this little girl that came to my room one day. She was the daughter of my pediatrician. She brought her with her because she was about my age and she thought we would get along. But we didn’t, not at first. I was too weak to say hello and she was too shy to say anything at all. She kept hiding behind her mother’s coat the whole time she was there. After she was finished with my check-up, they both left the room, and I thought that was it. I felt sad. I would’ve loved to have a friend. Even if I couldn’t speak much, I wish she had stayed. I hated being alone. It felt scary.

“But not half an hour later, she came back to my room. Alone this time. She brought these two books in her arms, and without a word, she closed the door behind her, dragged the nearest chair closer to my bed, and sat there, just staring at me. At first, I thought she was glaring. Her gaze was so intense. Then she lifted her books in the air, one on each hand and she asked me, ‘Which one do you want to read?’ I was surprised but I didn’t say a word. The first one was a story about a pirate, and another one had a picture of Wonder Woman holding her lasso on the cover. I chose one with the pirate, pointing my finger at the book. If she hadn’t been glaring at me then, she was definitely glaring at me now,” Eren chortles lightly. “She shook her head and said, ‘Try again.’ So I chose Wonder Woman this time and she giggled, ‘Nice choice. I think we can be friends.’ She was as annoying as she was adorable.

“And so she read it to me. I could tell she liked the story a lot ‘cause she looked ten times more alive when she read it. I asked her, ‘Do you want to be a superhero when you’re older?’ Right after she heard my question, her shoulders slumped forward and she answered, ‘No. Mommy wants me to be a doctor.’ She looked sad.

“She came by every day after that, bringing more Wonder Woman books to read, or puzzles and toy trains. We played together in my room. She always sat on the edge of my bed, her feet dangling in the air. She was so talkative that I could barely keep up. My mind was still processing what she said and she already moved on to another topic. She was very smart, very cheerful. And there was never a time when she failed to put a smile on my face.

“On the day I was discharged from the hospital, she gave me the pirate book we’d never gotten the chance to read. She said, ‘I wanted to read it to you but I guess we ran out of time. So here, you can have it. Maybe you can read it to me this time.’ And so I asked my mom if I could stay a few minutes longer with her and she said yes. Then we sat on a bench in the small park behind the hospital and I read it to her.

“It was the first time I read a storybook to someone and I was so shy about it. I kept stammering, fumbling with my words. She protested a few times, saying that I was too boring and that I should be more theatrical about it. I laughed, and I remember I laughed so hard when I saw her pouting but once I stopped laughing, I cried. And I cried so much because I knew. It was probably going to be the last time I was able to see her. But I didn’t tell her that. I recall the way she panicked when I cried, and she rubbed her little hand against my back, trying to soothe me down. I thanked her for being my friend, and for the joy she gave me. And I told her that it was okay if she couldn’t become a superhero like Wonder Woman because to me, she was already more than that. She was my hero. My only one.” His voice quiets down into a whisper. “She was my first love.”

The night wind blows a little too hard, dancing on his cheeks and peeling a few baby hairs out of his bun. Eren, sniffling once, takes off his jacket and drapes it over your shoulders. “When I saw her on my first day on campus, twelve years after I said goodbye to that little girl,” he continues on with the story, not giving you a chance to decline his kindness. He assures you with a smile, silently telling you that he doesn’t need his jacket even though it’s clear that he’s freezing from the way the tip of his nose is turning red. “I was stunned. She looked exactly like how I envisioned she would look all grown up. Her appearance might change, but it’s the way she smiles that remains the same. The way she laughs, and these little gestures she makes when she speaks, especially when she gets too excited about something. She’s…” He sighs, rubbing a hand over his face in hope that he could stop his cheeks from burning. “She’s the girl of my dreams. I know it’s wrong for me to like her just because she reminds me of my first love, but that’s how it is. Then I started watching her more and more and I felt like… I think I’m falling for her too. And I wish one day I can be closer to her so I can truly love her for who she is. No, I want to love her—the real version of her. Does it make sense?”

It’s only when he ends his sentence with a question that Eren realizes you haven’t been speaking in a while. The silence sits still and he looks to his side, watching you closely. He feels blind as you stay immobile, can’t figure out your thoughts without your lips forming a word. He’s about to reach out and ask how you feel when you suddenly stand up.

“I have to go,” you say, offering back his jacket in one hand. “I can hear the siren. They need me.”

Eren can’t hear anything but the wind whispering in his ears but he returns to his feet as well. “Oh, umm… Okay,” he says, standing awkwardly with his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Did I say something wrong? He wonders, but he cuts himself short when he sees you pivoting on your heels, making your way to the edge of the rooftop. “W-wait!”

You stop, standing on the railing. The city spreads before your eyes, lights flickering like diamonds under the sun.

Just watching you stand in that position already makes his stomach crawl in fear, and Eren is careful enough to stop himself before he can get too close to the edge. “When can I see you again?” He asks, and you can detect the uncertainty in his voice, perhaps even fear. He must have thought he’d done something wrong, that he somehow offended you with his words.

But that’s not it. That’s not it at all.

You curse under your breath, hating yourself for being such a terrible actress that he ends up getting the wrong idea. You whirl around, balancing your weight on one foot for a second as if it’s the easiest thing to do even when you’re seventy feet above the ground. “Ask her out on a date,” you tell him in the most casual tone you can manage. “That girl you like. Go and ask her out.”

Eren swallows, a bit baffled by the sudden change in your attitude, or topic. “Umm… Why are you—”

“Because you will never find out if you don’t try. Do you want to stay forever like this? Just watching her from afar?”

He clenches his fist, chewing on the inside of his cheek before he meekly answers, “No…”

“Then ask her out.”

“B-but what if she says—”

“She won’t,” you confirm, not even waiting for him to finish his line. “I promise you she’ll say yes.”

His heart begins to palpitate. “How can you be so sure?”

“Because anyone would be crazy to reject you, Eren.” The sound of his name escaping your lip makes his stomach somersault. “You’re an amazing man. Have more faith in yourself.”

Never did he ever think he would get a pep talk from Spider-Girl about his love life, but then again, the last few days have been surreal. “Okay…”

“Promise me you’ll ask her out tomorrow, or I swear to God, I’ll never see you again.”

“What?!” He panics, blood flooding his head. “But I–I can’t just—Why would you—”

“Just do it.”

Eren stands still, taking a few seconds to himself before he finally releases a shaky breath. “Fine. I promise.”

“Good.” And without another word, you leap from the edge, diving into the air and shooting your web to elevate yourself right before your body meets the earth.

Eren doesn’t know this, but you’re on cloud nine right now. It’s not solely because he promised you that he’d ask you out tomorrow. And it’s not because you’re aware of how much he likes you, or that the feeling’s mutual. It’s because you are his first love. That girl he saw in the hospital—that was you. You can’t believe that you haven’t noticed him until now.

So that’s why he seemed familiar. That’s why you always feel nostalgic when he perceives you with those green eyes. They belong to the same boy you shared your laughter with twelve years ago. Rennie, you used to call him, a pet name that you created—a secret that belongs to you and him and no one else.

He’s the same boy. The one that made you realize how amazing it felt when you could make someone happy. That gratifying feeling that spreads warmth and joy to your every nerve. He was the one who made you feel like you were worth more than you gave yourself credit for.

Gaining a superpower doesn’t mean you have to do good things for humanity. Your past enemies are prime examples of how power can be a curse instead of a gift. And you were ready to give up on your dreams. You were ready to forget the superhero books you read to him. You were ready to accept the future your parents had set for you, to save lives by becoming a doctor instead of dressing yourself up in spandex and putting your life on the line every night. But this feels right, and it’s all because of him. That day when you were bitten, when you turned the first time, he was in your thoughts. You recalled the way he cried and the way he thanked you for being his hero and you thought… I want to feel that kind of joy again. I want to be a hero that can bring smiles to people’s faces.

Eren was your friend, then he became your inspiration and your source of motivation. But twelve years have passed, and now you have other things that motivate you; other heroes that inspired you to do greater things for society. But even so, there is one thing that remains the same. One fact that cannot be changed even if eternity has passed by. And that is the fact that Eren Jaeger was your first love. And tomorrow…

You smile.

I can’t wait to see him tomorrow.

***

Super massive thanks to Sandra, Ben, Coi and Nissa for beta-reading this chapter for me. I love you guys to the moon and back ❤️

Tagging:

@l6ffys @vivi-et @halparkebitch @fwess @littlemochi @thebeardedmoon @didiyogo @coyloves @erenbean @tehehebri @justasketch @infnteen @naiomiwinchester @spiderlingh @doyochii @ahornyenby @aengelren @sakurashell @princess-jaeger @resonancesoul @blrqt @cacapeepee @persyhange @jaegersdiary @erentoes @trashgremlin36 @meed18 @j0livi0ni @snowflake-201 @jaymihawk @eva-gates @claudevonstrukesblog @sofijaeger @rinsie @blanccofiie @ereninbunu @natanialora @khinjito @ackersune @watermelon-online @tropicsoda @damselofblueroses @alexackrman @bblgumz @jurrasicpork @erenjaegercult @holycandypizza thank you so much for reading, lovelies! ❤️❤️❤️

[ficsforeren-tags]

Additional Tags:

@straykeeks @nuk @laehlaluvs @aishakvx @baekmack

@noodlesfics @evaaknn @vivisspamm @xxx-maris @iheartmidoriya

@geni-230 @classykryptonitecreator @yanderehornyyae @xxx-maris @notisaa07

@softyutae @6igtal @slut-42d-men @erinodell4512 @sanzuharuchiyoswife

@mochi-yeri @heyitsmeyuhh @thescorpiohottie @emeraudehahn

@sadtrains @somethingstranges-blog @katykat71114 @ashleighclark98 @doveblackboat

@reddidh @thedegenerateducky @loveeren @erenswife5 @rosietoesy

Shadow Kiss

Pairing: Eren Jaeger X Female Reader

Genre: Vampire AU, Roommate AU, Smut, Fluff, Comedy

Summary: Supernatural creatures don’t scare you, so when the cute neighbor who lives just across the hallway offers you a chance to move in for cheaper rent, you agree in a heartbeat–even when he consumes human blood on a daily basis and making thirst trap videos on TikTok for a living.

Warnings: vampire sex, drunk sex, sex in front of a mirror, blood sucking, unprotected sex, slight choking, swearing, alcohol consumption. 

Word Count: 18K (I'm sorry, he's such a diva in this fic, I had to include a lot of his crazy antics 💀)

I'm very proud to announce that this is my first collab with Nokky from @rainbuniart! Thank you for the amazing drawing, baby. I can't wait to see your Vampire Prince Eren fanart next 😍😍😍

Supernatural things don’t really scare you. Growing up in a family that tells urban legends and mystical myths as bedtime stories makes you feel somewhat reserved toward spooky stuff, to the point that you won’t even bat an eyelash during a jump scare at literally any scary movie out there. It’s not like you’ve seen any supernatural creatures with your own eyes but you believe in their existence, especially when you live in a town where freaky things happen on a daily basis.

You’re not sure about werewolves and zombies, but vampires do roam the earth the second the moon replaces the sun. It’s not merely a rumor anymore, it’s a fact. But they keep their presence a secret, trying to act as humanly as possible so they won’t gather unnecessary attention. And since no one has found any dead bodies with bite marks or severe blood loss, people don’t identify them as a threat. You perceive things similarly. As long as they don’t bother you, then you can coexist in peace. That’s what you believe.

So when you visit your neighbor in the middle of the night, the unbelievably hot guy who lives just across the hallway, you figure you’ll see him smiling back, maybe even offer you a cup of coffee out of courtesy. Now, you don’t usually barge into someone else’s apartment even when the front door is unlocked, but seeing how the two of you are already on a first-name basis, always greeting each other with a nod whenever your eyes make eye contact, you think to yourself, Yeah, he wouldn’t mind if I come in, would he? What’s the worst thing that could happen anyway? He’s too cute to be a serial killer. Which, you realize soon enough, was poor, terrible logic on your part.

But you twist open his doorknob with a click and invite yourself in.

So clearly, you did not expect to see him sitting bare-chested on the couch with his girlfriend’s legs hooked around his waist. Clearly, you did not expect to see his hand yanking at the roots of her hair, forcing her to expose the column of her neck and making her call his name in the most wanton moan you’ve ever heard in your life—even if you’ve had a fair share of watching porn movies (for, umm, research purposes). And you most clearly did not expect to see him sinking his canines deep into her skin, paying no mind to the hot, crimson liquid that taint her bare shoulder, and groaning in bliss as he relishes the taste of her blood.

So naturally, the only thing you can think of is:

Oh shit.

“Wait!” A hand finds its way to tangle around your wrist when you slip behind his front door to run back to your apartment. His icy cold skin makes you flinch in surprise but you keep your face still. As you turn around to see the owner, you’re greeted by a pair of red, glowing eyes. You remember precisely that your neighbor, who you assume is in his early twenties, has a pair of emeralds instead of rubies. But perhaps your mind is playing a trick on you because, by the time you blink, they change back to green, only this time, they look darker than the night.

His brunette hair is long enough to cascade down to his shoulders, seeming unbelievably soft and silky as it frames his strong cheekbones. His lips and cheeks are smeared with fresh blood, possibly from trying to wipe his mouth in a haste with the back of his hand. His fangs are no longer shown and although he seems breathless, you can tell he’s not breathing from how still his chest is moving (but you’re too distracted with the sight of how toned it is to care). And his abs… Let’s not talk about his abs, you mentally slap yourself, knowing that you could make a whole PowerPoint presentation to inform the world about how perfect they are. His black jeans are hanging dangerously low on his hips, unbuttoned but not yet unzipped, and it’s harder for you to not stare at his V-lines compared to the amount of blood that painted his lips.

Trying to act nonchalant, you simply ask, “Yes?”

“This isn’t what it looks like.”

“Oh, so you’re saying you're not a vampire who was drinking blood from your girlfriend’s neck a few seconds ago?”

He gapes, eyes growing wide, before, “Okay, then it is what it looks like.”

You retract your hand, giving him a formal nod. “Cool.”

“Cool?”

“Yeah, as in, no problem.” You nonchalantly shrug. “You've got a kink. I understand.”

“No, I mean—” He pinches the bridge of his nose, somewhat dizzy from your reaction. “Why are you so calm about this?”

Your forehead creases in confusion. “Would you rather have me freaking out and tell our landlord that you’ve been spilling a maiden’s blood on his carpet?”

“Well, no, but—” He sighs, running a hand through his hair. “Also, I’m a professional. I don’t leave stains.”

Your eyes drift down to the carpeted floor underneath him, stained by a few droplets of crimson. “Sure, you don’t.”

The man, catching your gaze, turns flustered. “That was from last night. I was in a hurry.”

“Mm-hmm.”

“I haven’t spilled anything today.”

“Congratulations, I’m impressed.” You clap your hands twice, face blank. “Well anyway, I guess I owe you an apology. I didn’t mean to sneak into your apartment without permission and disturb your…” You scratch your cheek, attempting to find the right word. “Late night snacking time—”

“Oh, God.” He rubs his palm over his face but before he can protest any further, his lover is calling him from the inside of his room.

“Eren, baby, come back to me. I haven’t cummed yet.”

You stare flatly at him, trying not to look as judgmental as possible but most likely failing terribly at it. “She sounds nice.”

He mirrors the look on your face. “Yeah, well, she tastes nice.”

“Ugh, too much info there, buddy.”

“No, I mean, her blood, not her—” You’re not sure whether vampires can blush but this one surely seems like he can. “Why did you even come here again?”

“Oh, that’s right.” You recall. “This is completely cliche and I wish I could provide a better excuse but I was making coffee and I ran out of sugar. Do you have some I can borrow? And maybe some cream?”

“Seriously?” It’s supposed to be a sarcastic response, but when he sees you nodding your head, he adds, “Do I look like I drink coffee in my spare time?”

“You spend eternity without drinking coffee?” You gasp, laying a hand on your heart. “I feel sorry for you.”

“Leave. Please.”

***

On the next evening, you find yourself crossing the hallway and knocking on his apartment door again. Knowing how patience has never been one of your virtues, you spin his doorknob after your third knock. Like last night, it’s unlocked with a click so you invite yourself in, calling his name.

“Jaeger, are you here—”

“I really need to fix that stupid lock.”

The sound of his voice startles you when he suddenly walks into view, but not as much as the sight of him with a towel hanging around his neck. His long dark hair is pushed back, dripping water to his bare chest. You know you shouldn’t look but that’s exactly what you’re doing, following those droplets as they slide down his navel, soaking the towel he has wrapped around his waist.

He notices you’re staring and he lets you take as much time as you want to marvel at his body. When you come back to your senses, bringing your eyes back to his face, he tosses you a small smirk, “So, how was it?”

“How—“ You clear your throat. “How was what?”

“The experience of running your virgin eyes over my god-like abs.”

You cough once but other than that, you succeed at keeping yourself reticent and unfazed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“So, you’re fine seeing me with human blood on my face but completely left in shock when I’m half-naked?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You sound like a robot with the vocabulary of a toddler.

“You do know us vampires can tell when you’re lying, right? We can hear your heartbeat.”

Fantastic. “Oh, yeah, that’s right.” If acting nonchalant doesn’t work, it’s time to bite back with sarcasm—that’s always been your motto. “Because you totally heard me walking into your apartment last night.”

“That—” He clears his throat. “I was… distracted.”

“You mean you were too horny to notice.”

“You—” He let out a harsh breath, perhaps a habit he invented to make him seem more human? “Are you going to visit me every day? ‘Cause I’m gonna have to file a complaint if you are.”

“Can’t I greet my neighbor?” You sweetly ask, batting your eyelashes.

He snorts loudly but walks away, throwing himself on the couch. “Seriously, why aren’t you surprised about this?”

“About you being a vampire? Or about your God awful taste in women?”

“Yeah?” He mocks back, making a face. “As if your boyfriend Armin Arlert is any better.” When he sees you tuck your chin, seemingly mortified, he snickers. “Enlighten me, Princess. How does it feel to have a lover that can only last for one minute during—”

“Okay, I’ll take my words back. Everything. Can we move on, please?” You try to yank yourself back to your normal state, even when you feel downright ashamed. “So, this vampire thing. How long have you been a vampire?”

“Long enough.”

“How old were you when you first turned?”

“Young enough.”

“How often do you drink human blood?“

“Often enough.”

You glare at him, earning a sly grin in return. “You’re not taking me seriously, are you?”

He sends you the best solemn expression he can manage, even when his lips are itching to form a smirk. “Serious enough.”

“Right, okay, I’m leaving. Have fun being an asshole for eternity.”

But the second you pivot in your heels, Eren is already on the other side of the room. His superhuman speed startles you, almost knocking you off your balance. Closing the front door, Eren leans his back against it. “Now, now,” he croons, tilting his head, “You come in as you please, uninvited. You don’t think I’ll let you go just like that, do you?”

You raise an eyebrow in question. “What do you want?”

“I think it’s something that we both want.” He steps closer, his husky voice turning smooth and alluring. “You know what I’m talking about, right?”

You gulp, suddenly becoming nervous. He’s an arms reach away, and then closer, and closer until you can feel his cold fingers tracing against your cheekbone. He lifts your face, locking his striking green eyes with yours and you swear, you see them glow.

“I’m—” You can feel your breathing stutter. “I’m not giving you my blood.”

“But it’s not blood that I want from you.” His eyes are hooded, his thumb tracing your lower lip. “I’ve been thinking about this lately, so much that I could barely think about anything else.”

Your heart is a ticking bomb inside your chest. “A-about what?”

He pulls back his lips, showcasing a pair of white fangs that petrifies you at once. He dives his head, the tip of his canines grazing against the supple skin of your neck before he shifts closer to your ear and he whispers.

“About our rent. Do you want to move in together so we can split the rental fee?”

***

It’s both ridiculous and dumb, his offer to move in together for cheaper rent, so it’s even more ridiculous and dumb when you agree to it. Several reasons make sense, actually—at least, to you anyway: 1) your neighbor may be a vampire but he’s super hot and although that doesn’t make everything okay, it does make his offer sound incredibly tempting, 2) your landlord is going to raise the rent in the following two months, 3) your part-time job’s salary can only cover so much of your living cost and you have no savings whatsoever, 4) if you can ignore the fact that he brings random girls at night for midnight snacks, he becomes much, much more attractive.

Of course, there are risks to think about as well. Sharing a place with another person can be a hassle, so you can only imagine how problematic it would be to share your home with a vampire. What if he loses control? What if he gets too thirsty and starts drinking from you instead?

You swallow hard. The thought of it is actually kind of… sexy.

Armin. You mentally slap yourself in the head. You have a boyfriend, you idiot. Stop having a crush on your damn neighbor.

But it's not like there is anything serious going on with Armin, is it? You guys were just lab partners in high school, went on a couple of dates, had a terribly awkward first kiss, had a heavy make-out session with him ejaculating under one minute when you dry-humped him on the couch of your living room and that’s it. You like him, he likes you, but yeah, nothing serious.

“My apartment or yours?” You ask Eren after a week has passed by, the second he opens his door for you. “Your apartment is bigger, but mine is cleaner.”

“Whatever you want, Princess,” he smirks, leaning against the doorframe as he crosses his arms in front of his chest. “I don’t mind as long as we can split the fee.”

“Yeah, why is that? You’re running out of money?”

His smirk instantly falters. It takes him a few seconds before he answers in chagrin, "Yeah."

"You've been alive for what, centuries? And you're still broke?"

Your judging tone makes him tighten his jaws. “Well, it’s not exactly easy for vampires to get a job these days.”

“You literally have superhuman skills.”

“Well, you guys have technology!” He throws his hands in the air, absolutely disgusted with the word by the sight of it. “And the Internet! Sure, I can run pretty fast, I have super hearing and super strength—hell, I can see in the dark too but these fucking technologies can do literally everything I’m capable of—and everything I’m not capable of—with only a few clicks! Do you think that’s fair? For me, an eight hundred-year-old vampire, to be pushed aside like this by a goddamn remote? And what is that thing you guys do on your phones where you dance to random songs and do things like taking off your shirt— ”

“You mean TikTok?”

“YES!” He exclaims dramatically with his head thrown back. “I fucking hate that thing! Back in my days, we needed to use flattery and gold and gifts to win a lady’s heart—not me, though, have you seen this face?” His cocky smirk returns for a few seconds to make a point before he starts raging again. “But look at them now! They just took off their clothes and they got hundreds of girls saying, Mmm, Daddy, spit in my mouth and call me a whore—how is that fair?! I also want to spit in a girl’s mouth and call her a whore without having her file a restraining order against me!”

Never in your life would you have thought that you’d see a vampire complaining about TikTok’s thirst traps with his cheeks puffing out in anger, but here you are. “Do you need a hug?”

He’s still pouting but he weakly shrugs. “Yeah, okay.”

“There, there.” You give him a pat on his back as he leans down so you can reach his height. “I’ll teach you how to make a thirst trap video someday, how about that?”

He nods like a child. “Promise?”

“Promise.” You pull away, squeezing his shoulders. “Don’t worry, you’ll get through this. So, about moving in together. Shall we talk about house rules and stuff?”

“Sure, but before that,” he sweetly smiles, opening his door wider for you. “Come in. I won’t bite.”

It’s something about him using that poor choice of words with that teasing smirk on his face that makes your stomach feel uneasy but you nod and let yourself in. As he closes the door, he adds, “Unless that's what you’re into.”

“Getting my blood drunk by a vampire?” You scoff, trying to steady your racing heart though he can probably tell already. “Why would it be something I’m into?”

“Well, my ladies surely enjoyed it,” he chuckles and you secretly think to yourself, yeah because you’re fucking hot, that’s why, but you keep yourself ignorant on the outside. “But if you’re ever curious,” he coos, eyes gleaming as he snatches a hair tie from his wrist, pushes his bangs back with one hand, and ties his hair up messily in a bun. “I’m down anytime you want.”

You shudder, but from disgust or excitement, you’re not sure. “Thanks, but no thanks. So, house rules?”

***

It turns out to be shockingly easy to share an apartment with an undead creature of the night. Your source of information regarding vampires is from the collection of your young adult supernatural novels, ranging from something serious like Interview with The Vampire to something mediocre like The Vampire Diaries, and something absolutely ridiculous and downright outrageous like Twilight. So it’s not really surprising when your first assumption of vampires are dead people who look unusually pale but strikingly attractive, have constant frowns on their faces as they brood over literally everything that’s happening as if they’re constipated all the time (they’re not since vampires don’t have that bodily function anymore) and kill people in their spare time by sucking their blood dry.

But Eren isn’t like that at all. At one point, you have to remind yourself that he’s a vampire who's lived for 845 years and not a brat going through puberty.

Because Eren isn’t pale, his skin is tan as if he was kissed by the sun when he has been hiding from it his whole life. It’s smooth, unscarred, and almost golden under the fluorescent light of your apartment.

He’s not heartless either. He cried (he wouldn’t admit it but he did) when he watched Hachiko, even when the dog owner was still alive and well. He kept shouting to the screen, “Bad shit is going to happen. Bad shit is going to happen to the dog—look how cute that dog is—look just how fucking cute he is—he doesn’t deserve any pain—if this dog dies by the end of the movie, I will combust!" By the end of the movie when the dog died (oops spoiler alert), Eren was bawling his eyes out, coughing and choking and everything. At one point, he even said, “Fuck, I feel like I’m about to throw up my intestines.”

“Chill, dude. It's just a movie.”

“THEY SAID IT WAS BASED ON A TRUE STORY, YOU COLD-BLOODED WITCH!”

So the thought of him killing someone by sucking their blood dry? Seems very unlikely.

And he’s not broody or angry all the time. Yes, Eren has quite a temper, but he’s extremely playful and annoyingly mischievous. He keeps his stock of blood in empty bottles of red wine and places them inside the fridge with a handwritten note that says: “It’s really just wine, Princess. I bought some as a housewarming gift. Come take a sip.” You did, once, out of curiosity, and from that day on you promised yourself that you would never trust his words ever again for as long as you live.

Being a monster, he should’ve been the cause of people’s fear, but in reality, Eren gets startled easily by a lot of things—even the things that shouldn’t scare a baby. You will never forget the day when a loud crash came thundering from his room, two seconds before he came barging into yours, screaming, “THERE’S A COCKROACH FLYING IN MY ROOM!”

“And what did you do?”

“I THREW THE TV AT IT BUT THAT FUCKING THING STILL LIVES!”

“What?! But that’s our TV!”

“IT WAS FLYING TO MY FACE AND I PANICKED—WHAT THE FUCK WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?!”

Even a butterfly that sneaks in from the window makes him jump on his feet. It was cute the first two times it happened, but seeing how he keeps on throwing random things—your phone, included—to keep the bugs away, you probably should start adding another house rule.

Speaking about rules, they’re pretty basic. It’s settled that you’ll both do your cleaning separately. No borrowing things without permission, no spending too much time in the bathroom because although he doesn’t need to go to the toilet, Eren enjoys drawing himself a warm bubble bath for hours. He'd do the most cliche things too, like putting Michael Bublé’s songs on speaker, taking a sip of his ‘red wine’ and calling it the perfect “Bublé Bath.” Now, you might think he would look fancy when he does it. His beautiful long hair grazing his shoulders; the colorful bubbles (yes, he’s using rainbow bath bombs) doing a poor, poor job at hiding his God-like body; his tongue running across his lower lip to wipe the blood before it dribbles down his chin, maybe even a sight of his fangs peeking out behind his devilish smirk. H-O-T. But it turns out that’s not the case.

Imagine walking into the bathroom to find a vampire chilling inside your tub, his legs draping on the edge, his fist curling in the air as if he was holding an invisible microphone in his hand. He'd have his eyes closed as he belted out his high notes, passionately singing, "Let me go homeeeeeeee" as if he was auditioning for a lead role in Mamma Mia. This is what you have to deal with every Sunday morning.

And you’re fine with him bringing girls over to your place as long as he does his midnight snacking in his own room. You were against it at first, but then you figure that you’re going to have Armin in your room from time to time too (your date night is cheaper this way) so you really don’t have the right to forbid him.

But man, if only you could take your words back.

Because when Eren said his ladies surely enjoyed it when he drank from them, you didn’t think that they would enjoy it this much. And you didn’t think that drinking blood from a human equals having sex with them all night long.

The sound of “Aah, yes, fuck me just like that,” and “Bite me again, Eren, please, I want you to bite me just as hard as you fuck me,” can be heard coming endlessly from his bedroom whenever he brings a girl over—sometimes even two at the same time. You have to plug your AirPods into your ears to tone down your suffering, blasting the volume to the max until you can literally feel your ears turn deaf. Even when you’ve pulled your pillow over your head, you can still hear them. Your apartment has excellent sound-proofed walls so your neighbors don’t really hear the loud screeches they’re making, but for you who sleeps in your bed just across the living room? A living hell.

Fortunately, it doesn’t happen every day. It doesn’t happen every week, even, since he always keeps some stocks of blood in the fridge.

“Did you take this blood from those girls?” You grimaced one night, as you opened your refrigerator to slide in your leftover and noticed three huge bottles of red wine filled up to the brim.

He laughed, waving a hand. “Of course not, stupid. How could I even do that in the first place? I bought some blood bags from the hospital, obviously.” He was sitting on the couch before but when he delivered his next line, he suddenly stood behind you, lips hovering dangerously close to your ear. “And just in case you’re wondering,” you could feel his smirk grazing your earlobe. “I only drink directly when I want to have sex.”

The heat was spreading almost immediately to your cheeks so you hid it by throwing a punch to his stomach, which he easily dodged. “Still,” you complained, “There’s blood in my fridge.”

“Hey, I never complain when you keep your celery juice in there.” He scrunched his nose in disgust. “I don’t eat or drink human foods, but who the fuck drinks celery juice?”

***

Eren is also quite passionate and it shows whenever he talks about something that he likes or intrigues him. It’s nice to have someone to fill the silence, moving from one random topic to another, never letting an awkward pause stretch out for too long. But he can also be exceptionally annoying when you have some paperwork to do and he’s bothering you because he’s bored out of his mind. He’ll start pestering you with questions—unimportant questions—like, “If you only have one eye, are you blinking or winking?” Or “Why is it that when you are sleeping it’s called drool but when you are awake it’s called spit?” And the stupidest of them all, “Why did Superman wear his briefs on the outside of his tights?”

And you’ll eventually start to lose it, throw a pillow to his face and yell, “GET OUT OF MY ROOM!”

But by the end of the day, it’s really fun to have him around. Not just because you can secretly enjoy the sight of him coming out of your shared bathroom with only a towel hanging low around his hips, but also because he’s a vampire and you can spend your time doing actual research about it.

“So,” you began one day after the sun had sunk below the horizon and he crawled out of his room with the biggest bird’s nest on his head. You had a romance novel on your lap, your fingers running through the pages. “Are you like an actual vampire or are you the romanticized, somewhat gay vampire they usually depict in books?”

“Well, I’ve been with a few men before but I still prefer women better.” He took a seat beside you on the couch, laying his feet on the coffee table. You kind of just stared at him, not exactly judging his words, just… bewildered. Noticing the look on your face, he added, “When you’ve lived for a century, you gotta learn how to keep things interesting, even if that means having a dick in your mouth.”

“That’s…” You swallowed. “Not exactly something I want to imagine.”

"You've never had a dick in your mouth? That's sad."

"I meant, imagining you."

"Oh." His devilish smirk returned. “You should, though. Try picturing me with your boyfriend Armin for a sec. Don’t we look cute together?” You had to look away when he wiggled his eyebrows at you. You just had to. “Actually, I don’t care what their biological sex, gender, or gender identity is,” Eren shrugged. “As long as they’re pretty and not hairy, I’ll sleep with them.”

“You’re okay with all genders but you can’t handle pubic hair?”

“No, I meant, hairy. Like a werewolf.”

“You’ve slept with a werewolf?!” You gaped. “I didn’t know they even existed!”

“Yep, not doing that again.” He shuddered at the memory. “I had fur in my butthole because of that.”

“You know there are things you can share, and there are things you should bring to your grave. That last one is the latter.”

“Sorry, can’t do that. You see, I don’t have a grave.”

He didn’t have one, true, but you were so tempted in making one for him right then. “So, these vampire books you said you read,” Eren went back to the previous topic after cackling for a whole ten seconds at the aggravated look on your face. “How do they depict us exactly?”

“You’ve never read one?”

“Have you ever read any books about humans written by vampires?”

“Fair point. Well, it said that vampires couldn’t see themselves in the mirror.”

“Myth,” he replied, leaning his head against the couch. “I can see myself in the mirror and I like seeing myself just as much as you do whenever I come out of the bathroom.”

You almost choked on the cinnamon cookie you just ate. “Excuse me?!” You coughed, eyes starting to get a little teary. “Who said I like looking at you?”

“You don’t?” The way his eyes twinkled made you a little bit weak. A puckish grin grew apparent on his face. “You sure about that?”

You cleared your throat, flipping another page of your book. “Next question,” you continued, ignoring the soft laugh he emitted. “Do garlic, holy water, and silver scare you?”

“They don’t scare me,” he clicked his tongue, vexed by the way you composed your words. “I just don’t like them.”

“Right, so that’s a yes. Do you have to be invited in to be able to enter someone’s home?”

He ground his jaw, bitterly muttering, “Yes.”

“Can you read someone’s thoughts?”

“No, but I can tell how they’re feeling through their heartbeat.” His eyes were boring into yours, lips curving upward. “Like you, for example. I can tell that whenever I’m around you, your heartbeat runs just a little bit faster.”

You glanced away, rubbing your nose. “No, it doesn’t.”

“Ah,” he showcased his perfect marbled teeth as he grinned knowingly. “Just like that. Your heartbeat is increasing again. Are you lying to me, Princess?”

“You’re so annoying, you know that?”

“It’s part of my charm.”

“Speaking of that,” you immediately said, knowing it was the perfect chance to avert his attention to another topic. “Can you charm someone?”

“With these looks?” He gestured to his entire body. “Abso-fucking-lutely.”

“I’m being serious.”

“So am I.” But when you started scowling at him, he added, “But if you’re talking about mind compulsion, yes, I am able to do that. I can erase and alter people’s memories, even controlling them only by making eye contact.”

“That sounds pretty convenient.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t like doing it.” The sudden change in his attitude left you frowning. He seemed pensive as he fixed his gaze on the ceiling. “I’ve done that many times in the past and I didn’t—” He released a sharp breath, as if talking about it reminded him of something that he loathed about himself. “I hated it.”

You tilted your head to the side, curiosity gnawing at your chest. “What… did you do exactly? If you don’t mind answering.”

His jaw tightened, seemingly conflicted for a couple of seconds before he forced himself to smile. “I do mind, actually.”

“Oh, umm… Sorry.” Eren, like everybody else, had secrets he wished he could keep to himself. And that was fine, you should respect his privacy. But seeing how he had no problems sharing everything else with you made you wonder even more, even slightly worried. Did he trick people to give him their blood? You mused. No, if he only did that, he wouldn’t look this distraught. A hint of dread crawled up your skin. What if he did… something worse? What if he—

“What are you brooding about?” He lightly nudged you with his elbow, tittering. “Relax, I’m not gonna use compulsion on you. Hypnotizing someone to get what I want just doesn’t sit right with me. I want to feel a connection, you know?”

You could tell how much he wanted you both to act casual, pretending like he didn’t say anything weird. Deciding to honor his privacy, you dismissed the matter for now and went back to your regular teasing. “So doing one night stands with vampire groupies is the perfect way to earn that connection, I suppose?”

He had his tongue poking the inside of his cheek as he grew both irked and amused at your comeback. “You really know how to attack someone’s pride, huh?”

“Part of my charm,” you mimicked him with a nod. “Okay, next question. Can you die with a wooden stake piercing your heart?”

He rolled his eyes. “Everybody dies with a stake in—what is this, an interrogation?”

“Do churches—”

“Okay, Princess.” He closed your book, his smile stretching widely but it wasn’t enough to reach his eyes. “I think that’s enough. My turn now.”

You furrowed your eyebrows, not entirely pleased with the way he just suddenly changed the direction of your conversation. “What do you want to know?” You indulged him anyway.

He tilted his head, propping his elbow on his thigh, fingers tapping against his cheek as he rested his chin on his palm. Gazing at you intensely, he asked, “Are you a virgin?”

It didn’t take even a split second for your cheeks to turn warm. “T-that’s—What kind of question is that—”

“Ah, so you are.” His smile grew a bit larger, but you weren’t sure whether he was entertained, aroused, or just excited to mock you about it. “Is that why you’ve been staring at me a lot lately? Because you’re curious?”

“For the last time,” you emphasized, though your heart was hammering against your rib cages. “I wasn’t looking at you. I never—”

“You’re adorable when you lie,” he snickered, a lopsided grin painting his face. “Your heartbeat sounds like you just did a marathon. Are you okay?”

You threw your book at him, successfully wiping the smirk on his goddamn perfect face before you raced back to your room.

“Ah, she’s really cute.” Was the last thing you heard him say before you slammed your bedroom door behind you.

***

For a vampire, Eren’s presence is as blinding as the sun, always managing to lift your mood whenever you’re too stressed out about your college assignments or drained from your part-time job. Of course, he’s also the cause of your stress more often than not, but whenever you get into a fight with him—usually because he’s so disorganized and you’re too obsessive to keep everything in order—it doesn’t last long and it always ends up with him making you the best dinner you’ve ever had to compensate for his actions, even when he’s not the one at fault.

Eren doesn’t consume human food but he makes the best cuisine you’ve ever tasted in your life. And the sight of him wearing your apron with his bangs tied to the side using your hairclip is really, really something to behold—which is weird because that obviously doesn’t scream sexy in any way, or masculine even, but it never fails to make your stomach somersault in delight.

“Dinner is served, Milady,” he says, laying down a plate of Spaghetti Aglio e Olio in front of you, making you gawk at the sight. “And it’s special because it contains a lot of garlic—seriously, like a lot. I had to put some gloves on and everything.”

“You’re an angel.” You nearly cry and it’s not an exaggeration. “I can’t believe you did all of this for me.”

“Well, I haven’t really thanked you for covering my rent last month so…”

“It’s fine, you can pay me back later.” You take a hold of your fork, moistening your lips in anticipation, and wasting not a second longer before you dig in. When the cheese melts inside your mouth, you almost moan in joy. “Oh my God, this is so good. I love you.”

He chuckles, suddenly standing behind you, leaning forward so he’s right next to your ear. “Yeah? How much?”

You raise your silver spoon in the air and he immediately leaps to the other side of the kitchen, startled and terrified out of his mind. “Hey, that’s not cool!” He barks. “I thought we'd talked about this!”

Rolling your eyes at him, you take another spoonful of the dish. “Man, you should really make a job out of this,” you comment. He only cooks whenever he feels sorry for you for going through a hard day—whether it was because of him or something else—but if that’s what it takes to have this magnificent cuisine enter your mouth, you don’t mind suffering more often.

“I really should, huh?” He takes a seat on the kitchen counter, his legs dangling a few inches in the air. He ties his hair up in a bun like he always does, with a few strands of his baby hair falling to his temple. “I’m really running low on money.”

“I thought vampires were supposed to be rich and, like, noble.”

“You’re confusing us with Aristocrats.” He grieves. “I used to be filthy rich, actually.”

“And now, you’re like this. What happened? Did you get robbed?” You chuckle to yourself but he’s not laughing. He’s doing that thing again where he turns pensive, his lips squeezed tight as if he was trying to keep his thoughts away from morphing into words. “Sorry, that wasn’t funny.”

“It was kinda funny.” His little smile returns, albeit a bit forced and awkward. “Do you think I can get a night shift at a restaurant downtown?”

“Oh, I actually know a place. I’ll take you there tomorrow.”

“Like on a date?”

You almost drop your fork. “Why do you have to make everything weird?”

His cheeky grin is contagious but you’ve become a master of handling your expression. “I just like seeing you turn all flustered,” he confesses. “Have I told you how cute you are?”

“Today? Not yet,” you mutter as you munch on your food. “Yesterday? Approximately two hundred and thirty-five times.”

“Then I’ll try to break another record today.” He throws you a wink.

“Shut up and let me eat in peace, please.”

***

“Eren.”

“Yes, baby?”

“Stop it.”

“Stop what?”

“Stop posting a goddamn selfie every ten minutes!” You almost throw your phone to his face but since it’ll be a waste, you decide to throw your shoe instead. “I didn’t teach you how to use Instagram for this!”

Eren easily dodges every single thing you’re flinging at him. “Didn’t you tell me to promote my cooking skill? That’s exactly what I’m doing.”

“How does this—” You show your phone’s screen to him, almost smacking him in the face with how fast and hard you’re doing it. You slide your thumb over his Instagram feeds, showing more than fifty different pictures of his close-up face (and he just made that account two days ago, Jesus Christ). “—promote your cooking skill?!”

“But, look,” he guides you, clasping his hand around yours so you’re both holding your phone. He taps from one picture to another. “This is me holding a spatula. This is me boiling water and this is me pouring barbecue sauce—”

“Oh my God.” You almost yank every hair out of your head—or out of his head. “I follow more than four hundred people and all I can see on my timeline is your damn selfies!”

“Correction, my damn cute selfies.” He pecks your cheek. “You’re welcome, Princess.”

But all jokes aside, it actually works. His adorable (and hot) selfies—no matter how bad you hate to admit it—are attracting more followers each day that by the time a week has passed by, he has gained more followers than you have (and you’ve had your account for three years, shame on you).

And in the following two months, he gets his first endorsement deal.

“I can’t believe this,” you say, gaping as you stare over his shoulder to take a glimpse at his phone’s screen, shamelessly reading his direct messages. He’s getting an offer to become a brand ambassador for this little bakery that has a cover photo of a lady with chubby cheeks baking cupcakes. “I can’t believe there are people crazy enough to hire you.”

“Hey, privacy!” He immediately stands up from the couch, covering his screen with his palm. “I could’ve been sending nudes!”

“You’re sending nudes?”

“Well, not my nudes.” He rolls his eyes.

“How is that any better?!”

“Look, I’m busy. I got a gig.” He grins proudly. “I’m on my way to becoming a celebrity, babe. Do you want my autograph now before it’s too late? I could sign your bra if you want. I mean, I’m totally down if you want me to sign your tits, but if you ever think that could be awkward—”

You smack his head with a spatula.

***

“What are you doing?”

You question the vampire the second you push open your bathroom door, catching him in the middle of lifting his shirt in a slow, sensuous manner as he casts a sexy smirk at his camera. He sighs at your presence, yanking his white wifebeater back down before he picks up his phone. “I’m making a thirst trap,” he explains, not even sparing you a glance. “People have been begging me to join TikTok so I made one last week and now I’m trying to reach a thousand followers by Sunday. I only need about a hundred more.”

“By making thirst trap videos?” It’s more like a statement than a question. The disgust in your voice is apparent but he plays ignorant.

"Obviously,” Eren says, tapping his thumb against his screen. Snickering, he adds, “They call me Daddy now.”

“God.”

“I won’t call myself a God, but,” he chuckles, hurling a flirtatious wink. “If that's how you think of me, sure. Also, what do you know about OnlyFans? They want me to make one too.”

“Kill me. Just kill me now and end my suffering. Please.”

“Stop being so dramatic.” He snorts. “Hey, recommend me a song for my thirst trap. I want one that makes me look like I’m the filthiest whore in town.”

“You already look like the filthiest whore in town.”

“Aaw.” He’s flattered. He’s actually flattered. “Thanks, babe. You too.” He puckers his lips, making a kissy face. “Now, enough with the praise. Let’s go back to this. I’m thinking about using Britney’s Gimme More but—”

“Oh my God, Ren, a cockroach!” You point a finger at the marbled floor, shouting as dramatically as possible.

“FUCK—WHERE?!” The second he’s distracted—yelping like a little girl—you jump on your feet, snatching away his phone. “Hey, what are you—”

Dashing toward the front door, you shout back, “I’M BURNING DOWN YOUR PHONE!”

“WHAT—GET BACK HERE!”

***

It’s your first date night after passing nearly half a year without contacting Armin due to him going overseas for his student exchange program, and now that he’s back, you’re nervous for various reasons.

First, you haven’t told Armin you’ve been sharing a place with a guy.

Second, you certainly haven’t told him that this guy is a vampire.

Third, you absolutely in any way cannot tell him that you’ve been secretly crushing on this guy while your boyfriend was away studying.

And last but not least, you know that if anything happens tonight, whether it ends up with you fighting with Armin or finally losing your virginity to him, Eren can hear every single thing.

So you barge into his room, hand laying on the front of his bedroom door as you push it open. “Eren.”

Like always, he’s laying idly on his bed, head almost dangling on the edge of it with his smartphone in his hands. “Yes, baby?”

You sigh, rubbing your temple. “How many times should I tell you? Don’t call me that.”

“You’re not my baby anymore?” He fakes a loud gasp. “I am shocked.”

“Armin is coming over tonight.”

His movements stop abruptly. “I didn’t realize you were still with him.”

“Of course, I am. Why wouldn’t I be? He’s been nothing but sweet to me.”

His eyes lose the mischievous spark he usually displays in them. “And yet, you keep drooling over my body. Can’t say I’m not hurt.”

“I never—” You exhale loudly, throwing your head back. “I’m not going to have this conversation again. He’s coming over tonight to have dinner—”

“But you’re a shitty cook.”

“By dinner, I mean take-outs,” you admit your defeat. “Anyway, I came here to ask you a favor.”

“Princess,” he calls, turning over to his stomach so he can face you without having to see you upside down. “I know I said I wanted to make things interesting, but having a threesome with you and Armin? So suddenly like this? Don’t you think it’s gonna be a little awkward between us? I barely know the dude. You should at least tell me what kind of person he is, whether he likes action movies or romantic ones, whether he blames someone else when he farts—I need to know him before I have his dick in my mouth.”

Talking to him gives you headaches, you should’ve really come prepared. “Are you done?”

“Do you still want me to continue? Okay, well—”

“Shut up, please for the love of God, shut up.” You know you should take your leave before he starts yapping again. “Look, that super hearing thing you have? Can you turn it off just for one night?”

“Sure thing. Click,” he says, snapping his fingers near his ear. “Done. Now I’m deaf.”

You flatly stare at him. “I’m serious.”

“Whaaaaat? I can’t heaaaaar youuuu.”

“Eren!”

He groans loudly, rolling his eyes. “Well, it’s not like my ears have on-and-off buttons I can just switch, okay? What do you want from me?”

He’s right, there’s nothing you can do. “Then, can you leave the apartment for the night?”

He opens his mouth wide, hand going to his chest. “You’re kicking me out of my own apartment? This is heresy!”

“Eren, please!” Great, now you’re stomping your feet like a child. “I just really need some privacy for tonight.”

“Oh, you’re gonna get laid, aren’t you?” He raves mockingly, but his eyes are somewhat cold. “Seriously? With that guy? I think you could do so much better, Princess.”

Vexed, you jeer back, “Yeah? And who do you have in mind? You?”

You’re not sure whether it’s your words or the way you say them that makes his blood boil but his eyes suddenly turn darker, almost glowering at you. It only happens for a second or two before he switches back to his happy-go-lucky self, so you’re not sure if you even see that clearly.

“Well, it’s not my business, is it?” He casually chirps, smiling at you again although something still feels off. “Don’t worry, I won’t eavesdrop on you two. I have a lot of kinks but voyeurism isn’t one of those. You won’t even notice I’m here.”

“You…” Something feels really off with the way he’s acting. It’s like he’s visibly upset but trying to act nonchalant about it at the same time. “You’re sure?”

“You have my words.”

“Okay then.” Whatever it is, you figure you can deal with that later as you’re running out of time for your date. “Well, I’m gonna go take a shower.”

As you shut the door behind you, turmoil starts to fill your chest.

***

Your date with Armin is going well. It’s going so well, even, that you end up lying on your bed, perfectly naked, lips swollen from his kisses. He's hovering above you, both breathless and speechless at the sight of your curves, his sapphire eyes shifting from one spot of your skin to another.

And unfortunately for you, he is also clueless.

Armin has a packet of condoms in his hand, and no matter how embarrassing it is for you, you already have your legs spread on the bed, waiting for him to… well, do whatever it is he’s supposed to do. You always thought that it was okay for you to be clueless about sex because guys usually take the lead, right?

Wrong.

“Okay, wait, let me just—” Armin’s fingers are trembling due to anxiety. His poor, innocent mind cannot handle being so painfully turned on and awkwardly embarrassed at the same time. Your boyfriend has always been awkward with literally everything, which kind of makes him adorable but it does not come as cute—not in the slightest—when he’s doing the exact opposite of what he's supposed to do. Somewhere deep in his mind, he probably knows that he’s supposed to tear apart the package sexily with his teeth, put the condom on within seconds, and thrust into you as painlessly as possible. But in reality, what’s currently happening is he's trying to catch the condom that flew out in the air after he managed to tear the packet apart with his shaky fingers. He then progresses to try putting on the condom for approximately fifteen minutes while flinching several times when he accidentally slaps the elastic band against his cock.

The whole thing is a fucking disaster (no pun intended) and all the passion, desire, and arousal that you once felt swirling in your stomach vanish in an instant. And when you thought things couldn’t get any worse, it does, because being a virgin himself, Armin doesn’t really know where to, for the lack of better words, put it in.

“Armin?”

“Y-yeah?”

“That’s my asshole.”

So with a reassuring (fake) smile, you lay a hand on his chest and gently push him backward, trying not to wince in shame when you suggest, “Maybe we should stop and try again some other time?”

You two dress back into your clothes in silence and after you escort him to your front door, Armin tries to kiss you at the same time you’re leaning in for a friendly hug so it ends up with him knocking his teeth against your forehead.

When he’s gone, you close the front door with a sigh, pressing your spine against the wooden surface as you soothe the pain on your temple away with your fingertips. It doesn’t take long before Eren peeks his head from behind his door. Noticing you’re alone, he steps into the living room, leaning against the wall just a couple of meters away from where you’re standing.

“So,” he begins, acting casual with his hands neatly tucked inside the pocket of his jeans. “How was the date with—” He suddenly bursts out laughing, one hand holding his stomach as he nearly tumbles down to the floor, cackling like a mad man. “I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t have eavesdropped but holy fuck, did he really put it in the wrong hole? Oh God, this shit is just beyond me, man.”

With your shoulders slumped forward, you walk back into your room, trying to gather back the pieces of dignity you have left.

***

“You know what I should do?” Eren asks with a game controller in his hand. To stop him from making fun of you and your terrible incident with your boyfriend, you’ve borrowed a PlayStation from your cousin. Even though he claimed that he despised technology, Eren is actually brilliant when he puts his mind to it. It doesn’t take more than two hours for him to master the game, already adapting to every button of the controller, even manages to land a few high scores in the last ten minutes. He used to prefer to live in the old school way, but that soon changed after your influence.

“Pray to God for forgiveness so He won’t send you to hell?” You offer, as you take a seat next to him on the carpeted floor, crossing your legs with your eyes staring idly at the screen.

“Cute, but no.” He clicks some buttons aggressively, trying to reach yet another high score. “I should become a historian. I mean, I’ve seen things happen with my own eyes—the first world war, the second world war, the worst of all: the birth of Donald Trump. Hell, I was even besties with Jesus at one point.” He sneaks a glance, but seeing no reaction coming from you, he juts out his lower lip in disappointment. “It’s cruel that you don’t indulge me with my jokes these days.”

“Oh, you want me to respond? I thought you just liked hearing yourself talk.”

“Heeeeeey,” he hisses, leering at you. “I know you’re hurt that your boyfriend tried to butt-fuck you but don’t throw this all on me.”

Oh my God. “Right, then let’s try this.” You have no choice but to please him this way before he destroys whatever is left of your pride. You do a quick search on your phone, throwing a random question from what you found in the article. “Who led our country in 1950?”

“Easy. The guy with the bald head. No, wait, is it the skinny one with the huge mole on his neck?”

“Name, genius. I need a name.” You exhale in exasperation.

“Oh, I got it! The one with the annoying high-pitched voice!”

“How the hell am I supposed to know?”

“Well, how the hell am I supposed to remember shits that happened seventy years ago?”

You give him a look, eyes staring at him lifelessly. “You’re right, you should totally apply for the job. You’ll nail it.”

***

“I can’t believe this.”

“Saying that multiple times won’t really change anything, Princess.”

“I can’t believe this,” you repeat, this time while standing up from the couch, slamming your fashion magazine down to the table. “I can’t believe our air conditioner broke when it’s nearly forty degrees outside! Aren’t you hot?!”

“Am I hot—” He snorts, flipping a page of his novel. Yes, it is actually quite bizarre that he spends his spare time reading. “What kind of question is that? Of course, I’m hot. Haven’t you seen the number of views my thirst trap videos got in one night?”

“Ugh, God!” You plop back into your seat, throwing your head back in vexation. “What are you even reading?”

“That vampire book you talked about the other day.”

“Which one?”

“The one that’s interesting.”

“Oh, Interview with The Vampire?”

“No.” The way he rolls his eyes as if he’s disgusted with your guess is beyond you. “Twilight.”

“Oh my God, stay away from me.”

“What—this is actually good!”

“These vampires sparkle under the sun—aren’t you, at the very least, offended? Because I’m human and I’m livid.”

“That’s what makes it interesting, actually,” he retorts, eyes moving back and forth as he reads through a passage. “They’re so different from us in real life, so it’s like seeing through a new perspective. I’m Team Jacob, by the way. I know I said I wouldn’t bang another werewolf but Jacob can, like, get it.”

“Good Lord.” You palm the side of your face. “You’re more than eight hundred years old but you have the taste of a teenage girl going through puberty. I’m ashamed of knowing you.”

“You’re just cranky because of the weather.”

“I’m literally dying.” You can feel sweat drenching your back, all the way to your shirt and you just took a shower twenty minutes ago. “You’re lucky you’re immune to temperature changes.”

“Then wanna sit on my lap?”

Your ears must be playing tricks on you. “Excuse me?”

Eren sighs, closes his book, and throws it away to the side. Turning to you, he repeats slowly, dragging out every syllable. “Do. you. want. to. sit. on. my. lap?”

You send him a blank stare, annoyed. “I heard you, asshole. I’m not an idiot. I’m just shocked at your offer. You’re really going all out in harassing me these days, huh?”

“What—” He throws his hands in the air, exasperated. “I’m a vampire, remember? I have cold skin. Here,” he takes one of your hands, sliding it down his shirt as if it’s nothing, and presses it against his stomach. “Can you feel it?”

All the blood rushes to your face, making you feel lightheaded but also conscious of how his skin feels underneath your palm. It is cold, though not as cold as he’d made a big deal out of it. It’s like the room temperature during the spring, at most. But compared to how sizzling it is right now, his skin is nice to the touch, relaxing even.

But all that thought just goes straight out of the window when he shifts on his seat and you can feel his abs muscles contracting.

“Whoa,” he stops, looking at you. “Are you okay? Your heartbeat is insane.”

You smack him on the head and try to suffocate him with your cushion. It doesn’t work since he doesn’t breathe, but at least it can stop him from seeing how flustered you are.

But when another day passes by and your landlord is still taking his sweet time trying to find a cheap handyman to repair your AC, you decide to take on his offer. You know it’s weird for roommates to cuddle but, as you try to reason within yourself, you will be sitting on the-sexiest-man-you’ve-ever-witnessed-with-your-eyes’ lap, your back pressing against his (hopefully) bare chest, and snuggle close until your body heat is no longer screaming at you in agony. You don’t really see any problem with this. After all, you have been imagining how it would feel like to sit on his lap every time he does that manspreading thing on your couch.

So, really, what’s there to lose?

“Okay,” you begin, standing in front of him in an already awkward posture. “So, how can we do this without being weird about it?”

Eren tilts his face up, leaning his back against the couch, phone in his hand. “Do what?”

“Do…” You fiddle with the hem of your shirt. “You know, what you offered me yesterday.”

“Hmm?” He raises his eyebrow in question, but the way one side of his lips curves upward betrays his act. “I forgot. What exactly did I offer you?”

“You’re seriously going to make me say this out loud?”

“Princess, I’m clueless.” His smirk grows wider, his voice dripping with allure. “Please. Enlighten me.”

He’s toying with you, that’s for sure. And no matter how much you want to feel those arms around you, there’s no way you’re gonna let him degrade you like this. “Fine, then forget it,” you sulk, turning around on your heels with your cheeks puffed out but Eren laughs in the most innocent way when he’s clearly nothing like that in reality. Calling your name in a sing-song voice, he circles his fingers around your wrist and tugs you back until you tumble down to his lap.

“You’re never honest,” he says, his velvety voice suddenly only a whisper away. His arms are tied securely around your waist, pulling you close until you can do nothing but lay your back against his chest. “But you’re cute so I forgive you.”

You can’t form a word, too busy trying to compose yourself. You can’t hear his heartbeat—since he’s the creature of the undead, obviously—but you assume with the proximity you’re being, you would’ve definitely heard it if he had one.

You didn’t notice it before but now that you’re sitting on his lap, your palm pressed against his thigh for stability, you realize that he’s wearing black ripped jeans with holes that are oh so terribly distracting. If you dare to move your finger, you’ll be able to trace the smooth skin at the inner part of his thigh.

You gulp hard.

You can hear him snickering behind you. “Thinking something dirty?”

It feels like you almost swallowed your tongue. “What—no!” Flapping your hands in panic, you almost fall from his lap but his fast reflex won’t let you. He embraces you tighter, causing you to fall back to his chest with a small oof.

“Relax, I’m just messing with you,” he chuckles lowly, his lips grazing against your earlobe. “This is nice. We should do this more often. You fit perfectly in my arms.” He says his line sincerely with no trace of humor or teasing in it, which effectively makes you curl your toes in bashfulness.

“You’re gonna have a heart attack if you keep your heart rate going like that, Princess,” he titters.

“Yeah, well,” you try to push him away by pushing your palm against his cheek. “Unlike you, I don’t spend my time snuggling with the opposite sex, so of course I’m nervous.”

“You’re sure it’s not because of me?”

“Absolutely. In fact, I’d most likely have a bigger reaction if Armin was the one holding me instead.”

The way he suddenly goes stiff intrigues you, but you don’t dwell on it. “Is that so?” He simply retorts back, his tone suddenly turns cold and it makes you feel queasy.

“So, uhh…” Your breathing tatters when he becomes mute, only the sound of the ticking clock on the wall can be heard. “Wanna watch a movie?”

He only hums, placing his chin on top of your head. Since he’s always so talkative, it gets really tense when he’s quiet. “Did I offend you or something?” You question.

“I don’t know, did you?”

“I wouldn’t have asked if I knew.”

“Then let’s just leave it at that.” Seeing how you keep fumbling with the remote in your hand, he snatches it away and proceeds to switch the channels. “We’re watching Twilight.”

“Nooooooo, not again!”

But his arm, as he raises it high in the air, is longer than yours so you can’t steal back the remote no matter how hard you try. And as you jump up and down, shifting back and forth on his lap, Eren warns, “I don’t know if you’re doing this on purpose, but if you keep doing that, I’m gonna get a hard-on.”

You immediately stay still, hands tucked neatly on your lap, chest thundering. “You—Why—” You shake your head, flushed. “How can you say things like that?”

“Things like what?”

“Sexual things like that.” The more you reveal your thoughts, the more you turn sheepish. “Don’t you have any shame?”

“What, I can’t be honest?” He snorts. “I didn’t mean to harass you or anything. Just letting you know in advance. It’s completely a guy thing.”

“No, it’s not just that. You always flirt with me—calling me baby or princess, telling me how I look cute all the time when you don’t even mean it—“

You’re interrupted with a loud sigh accompanied by an impatient groan. “Turn around. Look at me,” he orders and his tone is irrefutable. When you turn slightly, making eye contact, Eren has his eyebrows furrowed, almost glaring at you. “I know you’re gullible, and I know you’re dense when it comes to things like this but I swear to God, if you don’t start taking a hint, I’m gonna have to push you against the wall and kiss you to prove my point.”

You’re dizzy and nauseous, your stomach is flipping like crazy and you’re conflicted between believing him or laughing at him because although he looks dead serious right now, you can’t help but wonder what if, after you give in to your feelings, he sends you that signature cheeky grin of his to reveal he’s just joking all along? You’re not even brave enough to imagine, even when the vivid image of him pushing you against the wall, his knee slipping between your legs while he brings your wrists over your head and holding them still with one hand is enough to keep you awake for hours.

So you decide to take the easy path. “Okay.”

He blinks. “Okay?”

“Okay.” You shrug, acting casual. It’s a miracle that you don’t stutter when you deliver the next line. “You told me to take a hint, that’s what I’m doing.”

He raises one of his eyebrows, confused. “Just like that? You’re not gonna say anything more? Or do anything about it?”

“Nope.”

Slowly, there’s a shift in his expression. He shakes his head in amusement, tongue protruding against the inside of his cheek. “You really are something else.”

Surprisingly enough, he leaves it at that. Though it’s somehow uncomfortable, you follow his lead and just keep your eyes glued to your TV screen as he chooses his movie.

You have no interest in watching Twilight—absolutely nothing, zilch, zip, nada!—so it shouldn’t have come as a surprise when your eyelids start to become heavy in the first thirteen minutes of the show. You would’ve fallen asleep way sooner though, if you weren’t too distracted with the way he laid his hand on your thigh, sometimes unconsciously rubbing or squeezing it with his palm when he got a little bit bored with the scene, causing your breath to get hitched in your throat.

The room’s temperature is still hot even when it’s in the middle of the night, successfully making your bangs stick to your temple. But you feel relaxed as you listen to Eren quietly humming something to himself. Soft, melodious sound is resonating from his chest directly to your ear and you begin to drift away, floating into your dreamland.

***

“Hey, wake up. It’s almost morning.”

Your bleary eyes are greeted by the dim light of the room. The TV in front of you has already been switched off so the only thing that can be heard in your apartment is the buzzing sound coming from your fridge and the faint ticking clock.

“What time is it?” You rub your eyes, not aware that you’re still sitting on his lap, with your spine leaning against his chest. It’s until you feel his arms loosening around your waist that you begin to think, oh fuck, what have I done?

You immediately jump off his lap, tripping over your feet but manage to hold your balance by placing a hand on the coffee table. “Why didn’t you wake me?” You screech, face aflame. “You kept holding me in that position all night?”

“Yeah.” He stretches his arms above his head, cracking his neck. “I would've waited until you woke up by yourself, but you know, the sun is about to rise.”

You’re still pretty much flabbergasted by the whole thing. “You really should’ve woken me up.”

“Well, you seemed like you were having the best sleep you’ve ever had.” He stares at you with mischief in his eyes. “Did it feel that good being in my arms, Princess?”

You’re about to explode. “Okay, wow, look what time it is.” You try to look at your wrist and mentally slap yourself harder when you realize you’re not wearing a goddamn watch. “A-anyway, you really should go back to your room before it’s too late.”

He chuckles at your stupid antics before he stands up from the couch. Ruffling your hair once and making a mess out of your strands, he heads back to his room. As he slides open his door, he spares you a glance over his shoulder. “Hey.”

“What?”

“You kept calling my name in your sleep. What were you dreaming about?”

Whether it’s true or he’s just flirting with you to get your reaction, you don’t want to know. “Just go to your room!”

***

A few moments after the sun sinks below the horizon, Eren comes out of his room with bleary eyes and his shoulders sagging forward.

“Good morning, Princess,” you joke, your hands busy mixing coffee powder, sugar, and milk to make your own version of Dalgona coffee. Eren scratches the back of his head, his eyes are barely open as he heads to the kitchen, not even sparing you a glance. When he opens the fridge, he groans loudly, noticing that he forgot to restock his red wine. He slams the door with a loud huff, drags his body to the dining table, and sits down with his cheek pressed against the table. Seeing how you’re not paying him any attention, he groans again, louder and whinier this time.

“Okay, what?” You ask, leaning your back against the counter, a cup of coffee in your hand.

“I’m thirsty,” he grumbles, jutting out his lower lip.

“Then drink.”

“I don’t have any money left to buy even a bag of blood. Why do they have to make it so fucking expensive?” He grouses, pouting. “I mean, I can always steal one but I’m scared of being caught.”

“Scared of being caught? You, with your superhuman speed and strength?”

“Well, they have those security cameras installed all over the place! I don’t want to get arrested or worse, go viral!” You resist the temptation to roll your eyes at his nonsense. “These fucking technologies, man, I swear to God, they’ll be the death of me someday.”

“Then just go outside. Our town is filled with walking blood bags.”

He groans again, now pressing his forehead against the table. “Man, the effort I have to make just to survive. I’m so done with drinking blood from slutty girls. They’re bitter.” He sticks out his tongue in disgust at the memory.

“Yeah, why is that? Why do you only drink from them?”

“Because they’re the only ones who’ll agree in a heartbeat.” His voice is muffled as his lips are brushing against the surface. “Also the sex isn’t too bad if you can ignore how annoyingly loud they are.”

“Trust me, I’ve tried.” You grimace at the flashback. It really has been a while since he brought one of them back to his room and you were ecstatic about it, knowing you were the only girl he had been giving his attention to. “Why don’t you just compel someone to give their blood? You can erase their memories too after you’re done with them.”

“I’ve told you, I don’t like doing that. It makes me feel like a monster.”

It’s cute, you suppose, the way he tries his best to defy his nature. “Then…” You tap your fingers against the mug, somehow feeling timid. “Why don’t you try being in a relationship with someone? I’m sure they’ll be willing to give you their blood if they like you that way.”

“Yeah? With who?”

“I don’t know, like…” Your cheeks grow hot, bringing your face down to conceal your eyes with your bangs. “Maybe just someone you like.”

“Are you volunteering?”

The way he suddenly has you backed against the counter, trapping you inside his arms, and whispering seductively with his lips almost grazing your own makes you jump on your feet. Your mug slips off your fingers, crashing to pieces when it hits the marbled floor.

“Careful!” Eren holds you by the waist, stopping you just a split second away from stepping on the broken glasses. You realize your hands are fisting against the back of his shirt, embracing him for support without knowing. You pull away immediately, clearing your throat.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to surprise you,” he says, letting you go. “I mean I did, but not like this.”

You sigh. “It’s okay, just step away. I need to clean this up.” He tries to help but you won’t let him, as having him in such proximity is only going to blind your senses, unable to function properly. Even just thinking about the way his strong arm fits the curve of your waist a few seconds before already makes you lose focus that you end up cutting your finger with a shard of glass.

He catches the little surprised yelp that escapes your lips and immediately bends down to check on you. “See, this is why I told you to let me clean up instead,” he complains, carrying you to the sink and drenching your finger with running water. “Let me see.” With a hold around your wrist, you can barely do anything but let him examine your cut thoroughly. “Well, it’s not deep but it’s… still…”

Noticing how he trails off, you look up to check on his face, catching how his green eyes are now glowing a bit brighter. His lips are parted as if in awe from the way droplets of blood seep from your fingertip, trickling down to your palm.

“Eren…?”

His eyes start to change color, drifting back and forth from your face to the tear on your skin. You know where this is going but when he brings your hand closer to his lips, his tongue darting out to lick the blood off the lines of your palm, you nearly collapse to the floor.

“Eren, wait—” You hiss, cheeks reddening as you try to retract your hand but his hold is firm on your wrist. He licks his way up before he brings your fingertip inside his mouth. Eren has his eyes closed, a moan almost tumbles off his lip when the coppery taste taints his tongue. He sucks on the wound, wanting to taste more, to rip your skin apart with his teeth and—

“Eren!”

He jolts awake, his irises turning back from scarlet to viridian the second he witnesses the dread that paints your face. His fangs are drawn out but he immediately retracts them before you get a detailed look, his face flushed as he takes a step back.

“Sorry—” He looks away, rubbing his nape with shaky fingers. “I didn’t mean to—shit, I really have to go—I need to drink—” and when you blink your eyes again, he has vanished from your sight.

With your heart thundering inside your rib cages, you lean back against the kitchen counter, your legs trembling underneath your weight.

That was close. So fucking close.

There’s fear growing inside you but it’s not from the memory of him with his fangs extended like the true monster that he was. You’re not scared of him, you’re scared of yourself because you know you want him. Even when you've seen his true form, you still want him and you want him in any way possible. You want him to belong to you, to be with you, to be desperate for your touch, your blood, your presence, your everything, just as much as you are about him.

You bury your face in your palms. I am so fucked.

***

Hours turn into days and days turn into months, and before you know it, it has been a year since he moved into your apartment. The friendship that blooms between you feels nice and you want to keep it that way but it’s getting tough when he keeps on bringing random girls in skimpy dresses back to his room. You used to be furious by how loud they were being, but now you’re pretty much angry just from imagining him being with someone else. And it doesn’t even have to be sexual—just picturing him bonding with another person, even when it’s not as strong as what you two have, already aggravates you so much.

The thoughts of him keep revolving in your head no matter how hard you try to push them away. It even puts your relationship with Armin in jeopardy, as you can barely pay him any attention. It doesn’t surprise you at all when he decides to break things off, saying something cliche like, “I think we’re better off as friends,” and “It’s not you, it’s me,” which in normal circumstances will piss the hell out of you but when that happens, you simply reply with, “You’re right. Let’s be friends.” And there are no hard feelings—no feelings at all, even, which is weird considering you were only a month away from having your first anniversary with him.

Now that Armin is out of the picture, you can finally bring all of your attention back to Eren. But the more you think about it, the more you’re not sure about the whole thing. He’s a vampire, isn’t he? What future do you expect to have with him? Let’s say you date him and things go well with your relationship, and then what? He’s going to stay young with that cute, boyish look on his face and you’re gonna be all wrinkled and gross, how are you ever going to be able to stand that? What if he wants someone prettier than you? What if he gets bored?

Or maybe it’s just lust you’re feeling. You don’t love him, you’re just physically attracted to him. That’s right. Strictly physical.

And yet, as you see him dressed handsomely in a white button-down shirt with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows—him running a hand through his thick, luscious hair as he ties it up to showcase his temple, your mind screams: fuck.

And when he smiles at you, placing a plate filled with the exact dish he knows you love down to the dining table while saying, “I went ahead and did some research about you. I was about to buy you some presents but I thought it would feel more personal if I cooked something for you so,” and stopping to gaze at you with tender eyes before he adds, “Happy birthday, Princess.” You think to yourself: Jesus fucking Christ, just marry me already.

Eren goes all the way with everything, from placing scented candles on the table, playing soft music in the background, even escorting you to your seat, pulling your chair back for you, and setting down a napkin on your lap. It’s too much for your poor brain to comprehend, and your chest is suffocating from all the feelings swirling behind it. Eren looks so beautiful—almost goddamn ethereal, even—in that shirt and those black khaki pants, sporting that sexy man bun. It almost feels unreal to have someone like him standing before you in the dim light of your apartment. He looks like he belongs in one of those romantic renaissance paintings that they display in the museum.

“You’re not hungry?” He asks when a few seconds have passed by and you haven’t munched at your food like a caveman (because that’s what you usually do).

“I’m—you—” You splutter, taking a deep breath to calm your nerves before you try again. “You look nice.”

You can already tell that he’s about to say something along the line of “But, baby, I always look nice.” So when he just softly smiles back and thanks you about it, telling you how you look just as nice when you know you look like a storm just hit you, you’re pretty much lost for words.

“You seem exhausted,” he comments, frowning in concern. “Hard day at work?”

You can’t trust yourself that you won’t start rambling nonsense again while answering his question so you decide to just reply to him with a feeble nod.

“Why are you so nervous?” He laughs, eyes turning into a beautiful pair of crescents. “Your heartbeat is going through the roof again.”

You loathe yourself for being so transparent. “I’m nervous because you’re suddenly being so nice to me. I can’t help but think you have a hidden agenda or something.” That’s a lie. A complete lie.

And you’re sure he knows it too. “And what if I do?” He challenges, raising an eyebrow seductively. “What kind of a hidden agenda do you think I have for you?”

Why is it so fucking hot in here?! “I don’t know…” You start fiddling with the fingers you have placed on your lap. “Drinking my blood, maybe?”

His expression is a mystery to you, even when his smirk seems familiar. “And would you be okay if that’s true?”

You can’t answer but fortunately for you, Eren lets out a chuckle, telling you that he was simply making a joke. You force yourself to laugh but it sounds like a wheeze so you stop before it gets even more humiliating.

Eren walks to your seat with a bottle of wine in his hands, sliding down the glass to your side as he smoothly offers, “Wine, Milady? It’s not blood, I swear.” And you believe him because this time, the liquid seems more ruby than crimson.

“You really need to relax.” Eren leans his back against the edge of the table, raising the glass of his usual red wine in the air before he clanks it gently against yours. “To the cutest, sweetest roommate in the world.”

You immediately take a sip to hide the flush that blooms on your face, flinching when the burning, mildly bitter flavor hits your tongue. You’ve never drunk any alcohol in your life and although this first experience feels rather unpleasant, you keep chugging more of it down your system.

“Does it taste good?” He questions, secretly smiling to himself as he witnesses how fast you’re drinking the whole glass down. You shake your head in response, which earns another laugh from him.

You’re not sure whether it’s because it’s your first time drinking alcohol or you just have a low tolerance when it comes to it, but you can feel yourself getting both lightheaded and drowsy not long after. Eren, who takes notice of that, moves you to the couch so you can rest more comfortably. “I better take this away,” he tells you, circling his lean fingers around your wine glass but you stop him.

“No,” you say, eyes a little bit unfocused as you push him away. “I’m fine. Pour me some more.”

“Don’t you think it’s enough?”

“Just another glass, Jaeger, don’t be a bitch about it.”

Your words stun him for a second before he chuckles. “Damn. All right, just don’t blame me for it,” he states as he pours you another one.

“I have a question for you,” you coo as he takes a seat on the coffee table, facing you. “What were you like in the past?”

He freezes, taken aback but collects his composure within seconds. “Why the sudden interest?”

“No reason. It’s just you’ve never really told me about yourself.”

“I thought I’ve told you enough. I even told you about my dick size.”

“Which I never asked.”

“But you were curious.”

You try your best not to get sidetracked. “When I asked you about mind compulsion,” you slur out your words. The alcohol in your system makes you feel brazen. “You looked like you’ve done something in the past. Something… awful.”

You don’t notice the way his hold around his glass tightens at your guess. “Well, they don’t call me a monster for no reason,” he keeps his voice light even when he feels something churning inside his chest. “I did something, yes, but… I promise you I won’t do that again.”

You can sense it again. That feeling where he seems like he wants to say everything but he’s too scared to do so. Reaching out to pat his hand, you assure him, “Eren, you know I won’t judge, right? What you did in the past wouldn’t change the way I think about you.”

His smile is melancholic, eyes dull with sadness. “I just don’t want you to be afraid of me.”

“Afraid of you?” You tease him. “Ren, you’re a six feet tall vampire who’s afraid of cockroaches and makes thirst trap videos as a hobby. There’s literally no way I could be scared of you.”

Your laughter is a delightful symphony in his ear but for the first time, he doesn’t have the energy to mirror you. Your laughter subsides at his reaction, and you slide your fingers past his wrist to tangle around him. “You don’t have to keep everything to yourself,” you utter. “Eren, if you’re in pain, tell me. If you need help, let me know. If you want someone to listen to you, I would love to do so. And if you want someone to accept you for who you are—for who you truly are—not just a vampire but also the person you were before, I will be that for you.” You disentangle your hand from him just to brush a stray lock that falls out of his bun, tucking it behind his ear. “You’re not alone, okay?”

Eren watches you in silence, his lips parted but his tongue can’t shape the words, not when you’re smiling so delicately like this. There’s gratitude welling up inside him, as well as joy and the affection he holds for you, but there’s also fear. What he did in the past was… something he was sure you weren’t ready to hear. He’s afraid that your thoughts about him would change despite your promise. He wants to tell you the truth. He’s dying for you to know every part of him and the past he’s been trying to hide, but… He’s terrified.

He chews on his lower lip, contemplating. “Would you… believe me if I told you I was a prince?”

You blink. “You were?”If you weren’t intoxicated, you would’ve laughed.

“Yeah. Seems very unlikely, doesn’t it, with the way I’m behaving now?” He chuckled sheepishly. “But I was, eight hundred years ago. Before I was turned into… this.” He casts his gaze downward, looking at his palm and remembering the first night where he had warm blood staining his hands and his own fangs puncturing his lip. “I came from a place called Paradis. We were the strongest kingdom on the continent for decades, ruling over four others. I was their second prince.” He’s better at concealing his emotions this time, and with alcohol fogging your thoughts, you fail to notice the way he has his other hand clenching into a fist, his nails digging hard enough to leave marks on his palm. “It’s a boring story, though,” he says, playfully bumping his shoulder against yours. “I don’t want to put you to sleep. We still have a birthday to celebrate.”

“I wish to know more, actually,” you chuckle, swirling your wine inside your glass before you take a sip. “Eren Jaeger, The Second Prince of Paradis. Has a nice ring to it. Did people announce your title like that when you stepped into the room?”

Eren’s eyes widen as the ghosts from his past come alive in his head. Those voices he’s been trying to silence, those faces he’s been trying to forget, they’re all revived at once.

Look at him. Eren Jaeger, The Devil of Paradis.

A disgrace. A filthy half-blood. He should’ve died, just like that witch.

No. We should kill him.

“Yeah,” Eren swallows. “Yeah, they called me like that all the time.” He brings the tip of his glass to his lips, gulping down a thick amount of blood to distract himself.

Oblivious to what he’s feeling, you move toward another topic. “Does everyone’s blood taste the same to you?”

“It differs,” he answers. “But only faintly. I’m not that picky about it.”

“And how does it feel having your blood sucked by a vampire?”

“You’re asking the wrong guy.” He sways his head from side to side, chuckling lightly. “I mean, of course, I can have my blood drunk by another vampire but I’m not that kinky. I know some vampires who are into that kind of shit though.”

“Well, by the sound of your girls screaming like they were giving birth, it’s either very painful or very…” The sight of him staring at you intently, taking in your features, nearly throws you off tracks. “Pleasurable.”

There’s an awkward pause and silence hangs around to fill the space. The voices inside his head gradually turn into whispers, drowned by the curiosity that builds up within him. You’re being transparent, every emotion, every desire you usually kept hidden is now showing vividly on your face. He doesn’t intend to be cruel, but if this serves as a chance for him to know how you truly feel about him, then he will take advantage of it. “How come you’re asking me these questions?” He asks.

“Because that’s all I’ve been thinking about,” you confess, feeling braver with each second passing by. “And it’s not just about you drinking my blood, but more about you entirely. You know what I mean?”

Eren places his glass down on the table, leaning towards you. If his heart was beating, it would be pounding right now. “Not sure, but I’m all ears.”

“I… just…” It’s getting harder to speak when he’s so close, you can start locating every tiny mole he has on his face and his neck. The small one near his Adam’s apple is the one that distracts you the most. “I just think we’re compatible with each other, you know? And I’ve never enjoyed someone’s company this much before. You’re funny, you’re smart, and you’re both endearing and so freaking annoying at the same time—how is that possible?”

But Eren isn’t laughing. His eyes are deep and dark, raking over your profiles with so much intensity but when he swats the bangs out of your eyes, his touch is tender. “What else? Tell me more.”

You lean closer to his touch like how a kitten would, making him gulp slightly at the sight. “I get so vexed whenever you spend your time with someone else. I know I have no right to be jealous since we’re just friends but I can’t help it.” You exhale, rubbing the side of your face with your palm. “It’s so fucking tiring to think about you this much when I can’t have you.”

You’re so lost in your own thoughts that when Eren reaches out a hand to touch your face, you jump in surprise, spilling wine all over your blouse. “Shit, this is my favorite shirt,” you whine, hastily settling down your glass on the table. “Can you get me some tissues?”

But what he does is lift your body with both of his arms and carry you to the bathroom. You cling onto him with a yelp, trying to keep yourself away from falling even though you’re sure he’s perfectly able to hold your weight.

Eren places you down on the bathroom counter, your fingers gripping at the edge of your sink. Sitting up straight, you begin to feel conscious of your surroundings. “What are you doing?”

“It’s your favorite shirt, right? We need to wash the stain before it sticks,” He explains, his fingers going to your collar. You nearly stop breathing when he asks for permission to undress you, “May I?”

You swallow the lump in your throat before you offer him a weak nod. “Yes.”

He takes time unbuttoning your shirt one by one when you know he can rip it apart easily with one finger. He’s so gentle, his touches are paper-thin but whenever his icy fingertips make slight contact with your skin, it sends electricity to every inch of your body.

When he manages to untangle the clothing from your body, you’re only left in your bra and your white satin lace cami top. You can tell he tries to be polite by not staring at your exposed skin, and instead, focusing on fixing your blouse. He drags it over to the sink, drenching it with water.

“Where did you place the detergent again?” He asks, reaching up over your head to check on the top cabinet and he’s so fucking close that you can see the movement of his Adam’s apple as he speaks. And it’s really, really tempting to just lean over and—

Eren flinches when he feels you sinking your face in the crook of his neck, mapping your lips on his skin and breathing in his scent. You don’t know what vampires usually smell like but Eren reminds you of summer even when you’re not sure what summer smells like. It’s funny how you’re not making sense, even in your own thoughts.

Pushing you away by the shoulders, Eren’s eyes gleam in a way you’ve never seen before. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“I…” You can’t form a word—you can’t even form a thought as you’re too busy staring at his lips, musing over how smooth they look, how thrilling they must feel against your own. And perhaps he’s thinking the same thing about yours too because when you lean in for a taste, he meets you halfway.

The kiss feels warm and it doesn’t make any sense, because the rest of his body is icy cold but as you press your mouth against his, all you can think about is how his lips are hot and soft, so fucking soft and delightful and maybe it’s just your mind playing tricks on you but you don’t care.

You breathe heavily through your nose, yanking at the collar of his shirt so he’s closer to you than he’s ever been. You tilt your head slightly, angling your face so you can meld your lips deeper against his. He instinctively reacts by holding the side of your face, his fingers slipping between your strands, his tips curling around your nape.

He kisses better than any man you’ve ever been with and you’re sure he’s better than any man you’ll ever date in the future. Eren knows what he’s doing. Even when he’s caught by surprise, his lips are dancing against yours so sensually that they leave you melting in his arms.

Sliding your hand up to his chest, you can tell how his skin stands in contrast to the warmth of his mouth and it makes you shiver. Your breathing rags as you moan into his mouth, letting him taste the alcohol that lingers inside yours. You trace your tongue along the puncture of his fang that’s still retracted, almost as normal as a human’s but something inside you tells you it’s not going to stay that long if you continue with this. Anticipation builds up fast inside you. There’s absolutely no way you’re going to stop what you’re doing.

But Eren is surprisingly more chivalrous than he looks. He pulls away, giving you a few inches of space to break the attraction. It’s not enough, your mind is still heavily clouded by the thoughts of him, so you reach up to kiss him again, catching his lower lip between yours.

“No, wait,” he vocalizes, his voice sounding breathy even when his lungs no longer function in the way they used to. He circles his fingers around your wrists, holding them down against the counter so you won’t be able to move.

“Let me just kiss you,” you plead, eyes dazed and desperate. “Please.”

His chuckles are soft, almost inaudible. “You’re drunk.”

“I’m not, I swear.” It’s horribly embarrassing how much you crave his touch as if losing physical contact with him causes you madness. “Hold up your fingers and ask me to count them. I’ll guess it right, trust me, so can you just—” You try to move your hand to pull him close but his grip around your wrist is stronger than your strength. “Eren—”

“Look, I want this just as much as you do—” He cuts his line short and continues it sharply with a groan when he feels your knee sliding between his legs, giving him the friction that he needs. “Fuck. I probably want this more than you do, but—” He loses control for a split second, re-attaching his mouth to yours with so much fervor, tongues desperate to taste one another. The way you whimper against him makes him groan, his hand gliding down your thigh and spreading your legs apart so he can fit himself between them.

It’s when his fangs suddenly puncture your lips, drawing a hint of blood and making you cry out in surprise that he wakes up from his reverie. He pushes himself away immediately to the other side of the room. You almost topple forward from suddenly losing his body to lean on, only managing to keep your balance at the last second by gripping at the edge of the counter.

Eren turns around, facing the bathroom tiles as he leans one hand against the wall while his other one covers his mouth. He curses under his breath, loathing how he nearly lets the monster inside of him take control of his body.

“Eren?”

“Sorry, let me just—“ His shoulders are shaking, trying his best to soothe the thirst that overwhelmed him earlier. His canines feel burning. “They’ll go back in a minute.”

“No.” You jump down from the counter, moving to his spot with careful steps. “Let me see them.”

He shakes his head, unable to find the courage to face you. “Stay away.”

“I want to see them.” You place your hand on his shoulder, caressing him gently until he finally submits to your touch.

You only ever saw him with his fangs retracted twice in your life but even then, it was always too dark and too fast for you to see him properly. But now… Now you can take your time.

God, he’s gorgeous.

His eyes, as they peer into you in concern and the uncertainty that he might hurt you, are radiant, glowing like ambers in the dark of the night. But instead of jade green, they shine luminously in crimson, so strikingly beautiful that you can barely look at anywhere else. His fangs are now twice their usual size but he can still hide them behind his lips if needed. It’s the way they become frighteningly sharp that sends a shiver down your spine but you brave yourself enough to reach out to him.

“Can I… touch them?” You hesitantly ask. Eren looks conflicted by the question but soon gives you a timid nod. He parts his mouth slightly so you can trace your fingertip along his cuspid. It feels like a knife splitting your skin, making you flinch in surprise.

He hastily pulls back, terrified at the thought of hurting you. “S-sorry—”

“Do it with me.”

“What?”

You take a deep breath, your heart rate soaring. “I want you to drink from me.”

“You’re being insane—”

“Please.” You lay a hand on his chest, inclining your head and pushing back your hair to expose more skin of your throat. He feasts on the sight of the pulsating vein that paints the side of your neck, his blood boiling with need. “Just try, Eren…”

The glimmer in his eyes shows that he’s yearning to fulfill your wish but he cups your cheek again, fighting back his raging desire to consume you. “You’re sure about this?”

“Yes.”

“You’re gonna regret this in the morning.”

“I won’t.” Your fingers find home in his waves, pacifying him with your tender touch. “I’ve been wanting this for a long time and—”

A high-pitched yelp that flees from your lips cuts your sentence short and you have to muffle the rest of your scream by mouthing against the fabric that covers his shoulder. Eren doesn’t waste any second after he hears your confession. His canines are prickling against the skin under your jaw, just between the earlobe and the collarbone. It hurts when he sinks them—so, so badly—that tears begin to form almost instantly behind your closed lids.

Eren suddenly lets you go, his ruby eyes widening as he gazes at the way blood is gushing through his bite mark. “Fuck,” he says, “How can you taste so—” and he dives in again, moaning rather loudly when the warmth of your blood fills his mouth, swallowing a big gulp each time. “So fucking good,” he murmurs in pleasure, tightening his hold desperately around your waist as if you’re the thread that keeps him alive.

“Wait—Ah!” You’re being pushed back, your body squeezed between the tiles and the muscles of his chest. The key-shaped pendant he wears above his heart is digging into your skin. He lands one hand against the wall as he sinks his face deeper in the crook of your neck. You fall weak, your fingers fisting the back of his shirt, twisting and pulling until the fabric slides off his shoulders.

The pain only stays for a few seconds before a rush of endorphin seeps into your skin, running through your veins and pumping euphoria to every inch of your body. You begin to relax, eyes becoming half-lidded as you go into a trance, your heartbeat slowing down. You’ve never done any methamphetamine in your life but you imagine that it must feel somewhat like this.

“Eren…” You breathe out, feeling a little bit lightheaded. The strap of your camisole is falling off your shoulder while his shirt is pooling around his elbows. You can feel your knees slowly giving out under your weight and you claw against his back, your fingers gliding against the muscles underneath his shoulder blades as you try to maintain your balance. “Eren, I… I can’t stand…”

He breaks away only to haul you up so you can wrap your legs around his waist, and wind your arms around his neck. He carries you back to the bathroom counter, placing you down on the same spot as before, your legs dangling in the air.

“Better?” He rubs comforting circles with his thumb along your cheekbone, analyzing your expression. You nod, your gaze going down to focus on his fangs again. Your blood paints his lips. Some of it trickles down his chin. He’s a monster, he truly is, but his eyes, though they are now scarlet and flickering like torches, are tender and patient.

He slides his hand down to the hem of your camisole, fingers rubbing against the fabric as he peppers soft kisses along your jawline. “Is this one your favorite too?”

“Huh?” You’re having the hardest time trying to focus. “Oh… No, not really.”

“Well, then,” his lips are still sucking bruises on your neck when he rips both of your camisole and your bra with one flick of his hand, exposing your bare chest to the cold air.

Jolting in surprise, you squeak out his name but you’re silenced with another kiss, one that is so consuming, so deep, so wild that you nearly sob against his mouth. The taste of copper makes you frown in discomfort but the knot starts to loosen when his tongue darts out to meet you in a messy kiss.

His hand goes down to your breast, cupping the side while he runs his thumb along your sensitive bud. You rake your nails against his back in response, aching for more. His other hand is tracing the curve of your waist, going down to your hips before he tears your skirt away. He tosses the clothing somewhere across the room, following your previous ones.

“Tell me if you want to stop,” he reminds you, hooking his hands at the back of your knees before he pulls your legs forward. Pressing his hardness against the wetness of your lingerie, you both let out a whine.

“Fuck,” he hisses. “Want you so bad, Princess.”

“Me too,” you keen, circling your legs around his waist for stability. “Don’t stop, please,” you murmur against his ear, robbing a low groan from the back of his throat.

It’s unfair that he’s still fully clothed while you’re almost nude. You tug on his shirt and Eren helps you toss it to the floor. You roam your lips to every inch of his bare skin, your lipstick staining the front of his chiseled chest before you mouth against his shoulder.

Eren licks along the wound of his previous bite, emitting a sinful moan when your blood sparks ecstasy in his mouth. His fingers are tentatively rubbing you over your lingerie and you beg with your lips muffled by the skin that covers his collarbone. “Take it off. Just take it off, please—“

You can feel a tiny laugh reverberating from his chest from how desperate you’re being but you don’t care. You really are that desperate.

Eren is more than willing to comply, sliding your lingerie down your thighs and you help him push it off your legs completely. You guide his palm to your heat, breathing out his name in a soft moan when his fingers promptly slide between your folds, the heel of his hand pressing against your clit. His mouth finds its way down the valley of your breasts and he goes lower and lower until he has his head between your legs.

You nibble at your lip in anticipation when he presses open-mouthed kisses on the inner part of your thigh. Eren makes sure he has his eyes fixed on yours when he dips his fangs into your supple skin, making you quiver with the sensation. The second bite isn’t as shocking as before and you’re so aroused by the little mmm that escapes him. He drinks from your thigh, his tongue flicking over the wound before he sinks his teeth again, maintaining his gaze on yours all the while. “Sweet…” His moans are so sexy and obscene, you feel like you can listen to them forever. “You taste so fucking sweet, Princess.”

“God, Eren.” You’re going insane, you can feel it. “I want you. I want you in me. I want you all over me.”

And he probably is too because he’s abandoning all of his self-control at once. The way he sucks bruises on your skin, lapping at the trail of blood that painted your body is almost animalistic, raw passion mixed with lust and uncontrollable desire. He drags his mouth to your center, tongue darting out to lap at your folds this time. Your hand goes straight to his head, slipping your fingers between the strands before you tug on his bun. He grunts a little when he feels you yanking at his roots, his hair tie sliding off until his strands fall loose, brushing against his shoulders.

You rock your hips against his mouth, his eyes glowing even brighter, filled with lust. He retracts his fangs just so he can suckle on your clit, abusing the same spot with his expert tongue. You taste even sweeter than your blood, intoxicating him to his bones.

“Come back to me,” you plead. “I need you.”

He returns to his feet and unbuckles his belt in a hurry, his mouth finding purchase on yours again. He pushes his jeans and briefs down just low enough to release himself from his confinement. You can feel his tip grazing against your clit before he glides his length down your folds, pulling you by the legs so you’re almost lying down on the counter with your upper back pressed against the mirror behind you.

His eyes are hooded but they speak reassurance when they bore into yours. “I’ll be gentle.”

Now that it finally sinks you’re going to do this for the first time, your lustful desire quickly changes into jitters. You nod, permitting him to proceed.

The feeling of him stretching you little by little is excruciating and he can tell that too, hissing, “Fuck, you’re so tight,” as his eyebrows adjoin in the middle. Unable to handle the pain, you reach out a hand to stop him but he grabs your wrist and plunges his teeth into your skin.

Another jolt of pain sends tremors all over your body before the rush of endorphin hits you like a wave, gradually reducing your pain until you’re in haze again, blissful even, but also even more aroused than before.

“You’re okay?” He licks the blood that trails down your arm before he presses a lingering kiss against your veins. “Are you still in pain?”

You’re breathing hard but you can feel your heartbeat slowing. “No. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” He brushes his smile against your forehead before he returns to position. “Let’s start slow, okay?”

“No…” You push your body forward, tangling your arms around his neck. “Don’t hold back.” You lean close to his ear, kissing his shell once before you whisper, “I want you to fuck me, Ren.”

His grip on your thigh tightens, his mouth colliding with yours in a frantic kiss. “I’m gonna move,” Eren gives his final warning before he rams his hips forward, filling you up so deep, you swear you can feel him in your stomach.

Even when he said he was going to be gentle with you, he’s doing the exact opposite. Or maybe he is going gentle, which only makes you wonder how wild he can be once he stops caring about your safety. The thought of him losing control of his mind as he pounds into you senselessly makes you shudder, your walls closing hard around his length.

“My God.” The feeling of your heat enveloping him—squeezing around him—makes him drop his temple on your shoulder, dissolving him into a groaning mess. “You are driving me insane, do you know that?”

“I can take it.” You hold his face, caressing his sharp jawline with trembling fingers. “It’s not painful anymore, so please, just… Do whatever you want with me.”

“But I’ll break you.” Although his eyes speak like he wants nothing but to grant your wish.

You let your tongue slide up from his chin to his lower lip, stopping just to whisper, “Then break me apart, I don’t care,” before you crash his mouth with yours again.

Eren’s thrust is both deep and hard, knocking your breath with each drive of his hips as he holds you by your waist, nails clawing into the skin. Maybe it’s because there’s still a trace of endorphin in your body that heightens all your senses and washes all your pain away because everything feels so unbelievably good. His touches, his kisses, his thrusts, and the way he moves his hips faster and faster until you can’t properly breathe—everything feels amazing.

And his voice—God, his voice—the way he moans and grunts against your ear, or when he sprouts expletives while he buries his face deep in the crook of your neck, lips scorching hot against your skin, makes you think fuck, why did I waste a fucking year doing nothing when I can have him like—

You’re interrupted from finishing your thought when Eren suddenly pulls out of you, making you whimper from the loss. He turns you around, forcing you to land on your feet again with your stomach pressed against the edge of the counter. You place both hands on the marbled surface as he pulls your hips closer to him, pressing his hardness against your behind as he glues his chest to your spine.

“Come here, look,” he says, holding you by the jaws and elevating your face just enough so you can gaze directly into the mirror. He shifts his hand, now holding back your bangs so your eyes are reflected perfectly. “Look how beautiful you are,” he purrs right next to your ear, the tip of his nose brushing against your jawline.

It’s both embarrassing and arousing to see yourself being held domineeringly by him, the curves of your body fit his perfectly even from behind. Your lips are bruised and swollen, blood smears messily around your neck, your wrist, your thigh even on your hips from the way he trailed his coated fingers along the skin.

Eren raises two of his blood-smeared fingers to your lips, mixing your lipstick with your own blood before he slowly drags his fingers away, painting blurred lines of crimson on your cheek. He sighs at the sight, eyes half-lidded as they glow brighter. “If I’m a monster,” he says, voice low and breathy, “Then you’re a fucking goddess.”

You shiver as you avert your gaze, ashamed of how sultry you look in the mirror and how sinful his gaze is as they rake over your body. He presses close, completing the dip of your spine with his chest like a matching puzzle. His fingers curl around the front of your neck, forcing you to look at your reflection once more as he licks a stripe up your wound. “We look good together, don’t you think?”

You’re panting hard, chest heaving up and down with each breath you take. “Eren…” You long for him to fill you again like before. “Please, just—"

He glides his hand down between your legs, teasing your cunt with small touches but strong and fast enough to make you quiver. “So sensitive too,” he chuckles, nipping slightly at your earlobe. “You’re so fucking cute.”

Before you can retort anything back, he pushes the head of his cock into your heat again, agonizingly slowly at first but slams the rest of it with one snap of his hips.

“I’ve thought about this—about us. I’ve been thinking about you so much, it scares me,” he confesses, with low groans interrupting his lines. He thrusts steadily into you, his cock rubbing deliciously against your walls. “You’re driving me crazy with that face of yours. Your lips, your voice—whenever you call my name, whenever you pout after losing an argument—the way you secretly stare at me wherever I go—ah, fuck—”

“I don’t—” You gasp, thighs trembling under your weight. He wraps an arm along your stomach, holding you still while he pushes in deeper. “I never—”

“And the way you lie just like now,” He chuckles, kissing the middle of your shoulder blades. “Fuck, you’re so cute—so fucking cute that it pisses me off whenever you talk about Armin when we both know he can’t satisfy you the way I do—he doesn’t understand you—doesn’t get your stupid jokes—” He begins to fall out of rhythm, hips moving faster with each thrust. “He doesn’t deserve you—I deserve you.”

You catch the sight of your reflection, noticing how he sometimes throws his head back in pleasure, his strong hands gripping the sides of your waist as he rolls his hips, again and again, thrusting into you until you can only cry out his name and nothing more. It’s too obscene, too erotic for your eyes to witness, and when he locks his gaze with yours in the mirror, you nearly faint.

“E-Eren—” You reach out a hand behind you, trying to find him for support but he holds your wrist against your spine, pumping into you with strong strokes. He leaves you with no option but to press the side of your face against the marble countertop, your mouth parting in a silent scream.

The sounds of his groans and your whimpers echo through the bathroom walls, along with the sound of your skin slapping against his. His teeth prickling against your shoulder, his eyes drifting back to the mirror to see how you look underneath him. He sinks his fangs deep into you one more time, making various sounds of pleasure as he drinks your blood.

“Ren—”

“Cum,” he orders, growling against your skin. “Come on, baby, I need you to cum on my cock." The sensation of his thrust, his fingers slightly choking you as he holds you by your neck, and the amount of endorphin that washes over you soon drives you to your release. You mewl out his name, clenching tightly around him. "Mmm, yeah, fuck, just like that—" Eren lets out a guttural moan with his head thrown back in pleasure. He's not giving you a chance to ride your orgasm slowly as he continues ramming his length into you. "Perfect. You're so fucking perfect, Princess. Feel so good around my cock—”

A train of expletives tumbles from his mouth as he embraces you closer, feeling every shake that you emit directly with his body. You’re not sure if it’s from the loss of blood or everything else combined, but your vision starts to blur and suddenly your world turns black.

***

When you wake up, you’re lying down on your bed, staring at the ceiling you’ve seen a million times with your eyes barely open. You’re still pretty much in a haze, not sure if you’re still floating inside your dream or you’ve returned to reality. It’s until your door opens with a click that you can start to differentiate.

“Ah, you’re awake.” He peeks inside through the door holding your favorite mug, already dressed back in his favorite black tee and matching jeans. “I was wondering when you’d wake up. Can I come in?”

He walks in without needing an answer and, weirdly, he doesn’t seem nervous or awkward. Unlike you whose blood is rushing fast to your face, your heart thrashing wildly inside your rib cages. A flashback comes in like an unstoppable train and you almost reach out a hand to your neck, wanting to know if his bite marks are still there.

The way he acts is so natural that you begin to wonder whether all that happened was simply your imagination. But when you try to move your body, jolts of pain run like electricity to your bones, and you freeze. It feels like somebody is trying to crack your head open, tearing your body apart. You fall back to the bed, weak and enervated.

“You all right?” He immediately rushes to your side, sitting on the edge of the bed before he gathers your face in his hands. He observes you closely, looking for signs of discomfort. “Be careful, okay? You lost a lot of blood, so I wouldn’t move too much if I were you. I brought you some coconut water. Here,” he places the mug down on your nightstand. “And some supplements too. They’ll help with your blood loss. I’ll cook some fish and eggs for dinner later.”

You can only nod, too tired to even speak. His eyes begin to soften, his fingers reaching out to caress the strands of your hair. “I guess I went a bit overboard, I’m sorry.”

“A bit…?” You croak out.

“I’m sorry,” he repeats, unable to stop a smile from forming on his face. “I tried so hard not to but you were so cute.” He leans closer, his lips hovering above yours but he rethinks his decision before he closes the gap. He moves to bestow a gentle kiss on your forehead instead. “You should go back to sleep,” he murmurs against your skin. “Call me when you need help. I’ll be right outside.”

He doesn’t spare you a glance as he stands up from the bed, but the way he trips on his feet once makes you realize that oh, maybe he’s embarrassed about all of this too.

“Eren.”

He stops in his tracks, glancing over his shoulder as he lays a hand on your doorframe. “Yeah?”

“Where does this leave us?”

His face turns stern. Spinning over to face you, he questions further. “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” you pause, wetting your lip in anxiety. “Do you want us to pretend it didn’t happen?”

His eyes darken, seemingly upset. “Do you?”

“I… Uhh…” Your heart is beating so fast that you feel nauseous. “I don’t, but—”

“Then don’t suggest something like that,” he sighs, walking back to your bed again. He kneels on the floor so you’re eye-to-eye, squeezing your hand with his larger one. “Don’t scare me, okay? I finally have you where I want you.”

You look away, attempting to hide your flustered face. “But then, what are we now?”

“I don’t care what we are. I just want us to keep doing this.”

“Doing what, having sex? Drinking my blood?”

“No, idiot.” He rolls his eyes. “I mean, yes, of course, that too. Plenty of that. But what I meant was I want to continue to have this kind of relationship with you. Just the two of us living together, making fun of each other, or spending hours watching re-runs of your stupid TV shows.”

“They’re not stupid.”

“They’re stupid. I only watch them because of you. You are my favorite show.” He winks to break the tension and you blurt out laughing, shoving him playfully by the shoulder. But when your giggle starts to fade, Eren leans in to cup your cheek, smiling softly. “I just want to spend more time with you, as long as you’d let me. So can we have that? Please?”

“I…” You’re so captivated by his features. The perfect shape of his lips is the one that steals your attention away. “I guess…”

“You guess?” He scrunches up his nose cutely like a child. “You’re playing hard to get again? Really? After all the begging you did in the bathroom?” Seeing you turn flustered only makes him want to tease you even harder. “What was it that you said? God, Eren, I want you. I want you in me. I want you all over me—“

“Okay, shut up, geez!” You slap a hand against his mouth, steam practically coming out of your ears. “Yes, we can have that. I’d… love to have that actually.”

Kissing your inner palm, he lovingly smiles against your skin, appreciating your honesty. “That wasn’t so hard, was it, Princess?”

***

A/N:

There will be a prequel for this fic, called BEFORE DAWN, which will flesh out more details on Eren's background story when he was a royalty 845 years ago. It will be a tragic love story between a prince and his servant, and how he ended up being turned into a monster at the end.

Click here if you want to be added to my taglist!

If you haven't read the other story I made for Vampire Eren called MIDNIGHT BITE, you can check it out here.

SUPER MASSIVE THANKS to Nokky and Sandra for being my first readers. I love you girls so soooo much ❤️❤️❤️

Also, this is a rewrite of my old NCT fic called Love Bites so if it feels familiar, you know why hehe

Tagging:

@l6ffys @vivi-et @halparkebitch @fwess @littlemochi @thebeardedmoon @didiyogo @coyloves @erenbean @tehehebri @justasketch @infnteen @naiomiwinchester @spiderlingh @doyochii @ahornyenby @aengelren @sakurashell @princess-jaeger @resonancesoul @blrqt @cacapeepee @persyhange @jaegersdiary @erentoes @trashgremlin36 @meed18 @j0livi0ni @snowflake-201 @jaymihawk @eva-gates @claudevonstrukesblog @sofijaeger @rinsie @blanccofiie @ereninbunu @natanialora @khinjito @ackersune @watermelon-online @tropicsoda @damselofblueroses @alexackrman @bblgumz @jurrasicpork @erenjaegercult @holycandypizza Thanks for reading, lovelies! ❤️