#thebrothelfic

[clumsydarknut]

The Brothel Fic - Part 4: Shatter

Please read parts 1-3 first - the context is important for this series.

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“I think you already know what I like to do, honey.”

Twilight nearly choked on his chicken. Somehow he’d been managing to ignore the sickeningly sweet voices cooing into his ears, but he was not prepared for that comment to come floating across the table. He looked up nervously from his plate, hoping desperately that the remark wasn’t directed at him.

To his relief, it seemed to come from a girl who was wholly absorbed in Legend’s iron-blue eyes. The man didn’t seem the least bit phased by the attention, leaning into the woman’s hand and twirling her hair around his finger with a grin. Had he not been supremely uncomfortable himself, he might have laughed; right now, Legend seemed an awful lot like Warriors.

“I don’t think he’s listening, Ashlyn.”

Twilight froze as soft hands crept over his shoulders and draped casually across his chest. He felt the girl’s breath on his neck, and a hushed whisper drift into his ear.

“That’s too bad, Trixie.” A warm torso leaned against his back. “Poor boy. So tense. Your shoulders are just begging for a good massage.”

Twilight cursed inwardly and did his best to gently brush off the woman’s arms rather than throw them off with a swift chop. “I, uh… I think I’m okay, thanks.”

The girl gave a disappointed hum but stepped around his chair into his view. She was slender and tall, maybe a few inches taller than himself, with silky black hair and a flowing, almost translucent dress, draped across her in ripples of a calm, pleasantly sunny orange. Her dark eyes met his and her delicate lips twitched up into a smirk.

“You can’t tell me you aren’t sore from your journey,” she purred, “I know the way Linky likes to travel. Let me help you.”

“I’d really rather you didn’t…” Twilight replied hesitantly.

“Oh?” She leaned closer, her face uncomfortably close to his own, as he pushed back further into his chair. “If you’re nervous, honey, you don’t have to worry – I don’t bite.”

Twilight gulped. The eldest of the heroes was locked in a hushed conversation with Wind, and it seemed the others were in much the same position as himself. No help this time, I guess.

“Ma’am, I think maybe you’ve got the wrong idea…” he laughed awkwardly. “I’m not looking for anything more than a meal and a bed…”

He felt another set of arms wrap around his neck and curled brown hair brush against his face. The touch sent a chill down his spine.

“Aw, c’mon, a handsome man like you deserves to relax now and then.” The voice was melodic and gentle. “It looks like Ashlyn was right – your shoulders are desperate, sweetie.”

Gee, you think? he growled inwardly. Every second they spent staring at him put another knot in his already sore muscles. Not that he wasn’t used to this sort of attention – he was well aware of how attractive women found him and had been in many a strange situation concocted by Telma at the bar, but it was looking more and more like these girls weren’t going to take a hint.

“Look,” he said guardedly, moving the woman’s hands off of him, “I appreciate the hospitality, I really do, but I’d like to be left alone right now. Is that alright?”

The two women blinked and exchanged surprised looks, before bursting into giggles. Twilight decided to interpret that as a good sign.

“This one’s rather bold, isn’t he?” the woman in orange sang, covering her small simper with a dainty hand.

“I like a man with spunk,” the brunette intoned with a playful pat on his head. “But as you wish. If you change your mind, we’ll be around.”

The two girls waltzed away, laughing giddily, and Twilight melted into his seat with a silent thank you to the Goddesses. He wasn’t like Warriors – or Legend, apparently. Flirting and teasing was not his idea of a good time. It felt so… insincere. He couldn’t play that sort of game. His feelings couldn’t be compartmentalized like that. How could you want to be vulnerable, intimate, and passionate with a girl if you didn’t have that deep-set devotion to her first? He didn’t really understand, and he didn’t really want to find out.

He sighed, rolling out his shoulders some before stabbing his fork back into his chicken. It seemed Time had a pretty good handle on preserving Wind’s innocence, keeping a firm arm glued around the boy’s shoulders and a sharp warning shining in his eye. Whether the kid had just never encountered a brothel or didn’t know about sex at all, he seemed equally bewildered. Twilight chuckled softly. Better that than the sorry state the rest of us are in.

He took another glance across the table. Warriors seemed completely absorbed in wooing a very pretty blonde who was thoroughly attached to his arm, a suave, self-satisfied smirk gracing his youthful features. Alright, everyone but Warriors.

He turned his gaze further to the right and found Legend was almost entirely obscured from his view by a myriad of bubbly beauties. Based on the man’s smug grin, he was also enjoying himself. Okay, everyone but Warriors AND Legend.

Almost as if on cue, however, Legend’s grin faltered.

“I think I’m going to turn in for the night.” The words were quickly obscured by the whines of his crowd of girls. The man took an uncharacteristically large gulp of his wine and got to his feet. Twilight passed him a concerned look. “Could one of you lovely ladies show me to my room?”

Twilight got the impression that wasn’t a seductive invitation.

A woman in scarlet led the red-clad man from the room, clutching his wrist tightly, as the other girls continued to lament his departure. It didn’t seem anyone noticed the slight change in his demeanor. His shoulders weren’t as proud, nor did his smile reach his eyes like it usually did. Twilight was excellent at reading people, but he’d never expected Legend to make it so easy. Something was wrong. Really wrong.

Twilight continued picking at his chicken, watching the two figures leave the dining hall in the corner of his eye. Legend wasn’t the type to want a shoulder to cry on or a friend to listen intently. He walked his own path and kept to himself, and it seemed he liked it that way. Twilight could understand that. The solace and strength in walking one’s own path was very familiar to him.

So… you can handle this by yourself, can’t you?

He took his time finishing his meal. Hyrule wasn’t kidding – this Raven girl was quite the cook. It had been a good long time since he’d had a dish that reminded him of home. And thankfully Ashlyn and Trixie had spread the word that he didn’t want to be bothered, allowing him to eat in peace. He watched patiently as the others began to head to their rooms, and when he figured enough time had passed, he too left, leaving only Four and Warriors still in the dining hall.

The house had gone mostly quiet, aside from the few patters of bare feet in the kitchen and the gentle hum of hushed conversations muffled by the heavy carpets and tapestries. Twilight made his way down a darkened hall, being careful to tread lightly as he approached the room Amber had directed him to. He pressed an ear to the door, and after a moment of silence, cautiously pushed it open.

The room was dark, with only the embers of a fire still glimmering in the fireplace. As with the rest of the building, the carpet was overly plush and the walls strewn with trinkets and fabrics. The bed, however, seemed to be completely untouched. Twilight slid into the room and shut the door behind him gently. Nothing seemed to have been disturbed. Is Legend even here? He paused and listened.

Breathing.

He found the source on the floor between the wall and the bed. Legend lay still, curled over in a tangled ball with his knees pulled to his chest and his arms pinned awkwardly against the floor. He still wore his boots and his rings, his long hat tangled around his head. With Twilight’s good eyesight, he could see even in the black that trails of salt stained the man’s face. Was he… crying?

Twilight was tempted to move the man onto the bed, but knowing Legend, that would only hurt his pride. It was clear he hadn’t wanted anyone to know. He always made out his journeys to be purely adventurous, never giving any indication of anything weighing down on his shoulders. But now, in the dark and silence beyond the eyes of their companions, Twilight could see that depiction was a farce. And not a farce he was going to tear down any time soon. They all had things – and people – they didn’t talk about.

He silently made his way to the other side of the bed before removing his gear and setting it by the fireplace. The room was completely black now, with just the smallest hint of the nighttime chill seeping through the hearth. He chose not to close the shutters; the sound would wake Legend, and he didn’t really mind the cold. Instead, he turned back to the bed and gingerly tugged the tightly-tucked blankets from beneath the mattress and carefully slid the down comforter partway off the far side of the bed. Twilight froze for a moment when Legend stirred, but the older man settled quickly, shifting just slightly in response to the blanket now draped across him. Satisfied, Twilight climbed into bed himself, pulling the remainder of the sheets up over his shoulders and curling away from the sleeping hero. He hoped that when the man awoke, he’d assume he hadn’t been seen and that the blanket had just slid off the bed.

Twilight took a long, peaceful breath, settling into the fluffy mattress and letting his eyes slide closed. If it had been a long time since he’d had a hearty, homey meal, it had been an eternity since he slept in a bed as comfortable as this. It didn’t take long for him to find the tranquil haze of sleep.

---

Can you at least promise me this?

The sky was hazy and dim, splaying glimmers of orange across the vast lake. Rising from the opposite shore, a distorted version of Fyer’s carnival music danced through the heavy air. His feet sunk into the wet sand. Icy water sloshed into his boots. Standing atop the lake in front of him, a close childhood friend.

You don’t need to worry about me any longer.

She took a step back. She was clad in a beautiful white gown, the light silk flowing off her figure and mixing with the ripples beneath her bare feet. Her short, ash blonde hair was slicked against her head, plipping droplets into the water. She took another step.

Whenever you return…

Unease pressed at his consciousness. The distant music grew louder and closer. Another step.

I’ll be waiting for you.

The unease peaked into dread and he desperately pulled his boots from the sand, reaching a trembling hand toward her as she suddenly dropped into the depths of the lake. He dove into the water, scraping his way after her through the murk as she continued to sink. The sky above burned amber. Her blank stare met his eyes.

You were always there… You were always beside me…

Grabbed by an unseen hand she was wrenched into the black and he let out a garbled cry. Suddenly, the orange glow pierced the surface, changing the black to white and turning the world to glass. A girlish cackle echoed around him, and a new presence tugged at his senses.

You know, we could be assembling something truly terrible here…

A figure flitted through his peripherals. He twisted about trying to catch it, but it moved too fast.

It could be something we ultimately have to destroy…

The void of glass lurched and he fell, landing with an awful crack. Something unseen sliced into his hands. The earplitting clash multiplied, and harsh fractures creaked their way through his vision.

You’ll come with me… won’t you?

The space shattered, and he once again hit water. The sky was blue and the trees green, the bubbling pond clear and cool. Ordona Spring, as beautiful as ever. He could see the grass waving in the wind and feel the wildlife around him, but only one sound could be heard: the thundering of hooves.

You might not be able to come back here, but… do you still want to go?

He opened his mouth to shout and was drowned out by an enormous boom. He turned toward it. The gate to the spring blew apart and a massive beast took its place, growing ever larger, its shadow stretching across the pool. Seven arms. An otherworldly glow. Atop its head, an ancient, cracked mask.

So what are you going to do now? My lonely little hero… Eeh hee!

---

Twilight jolted awake with a gasp, throwing himself upright and tearing at the sheets. His lungs burned as his breath came in hoarse, searing pants. Sweat drenched his brow, but his hands felt cold and clammy. Knowing now that he was awake, he forced his breath to slow.

Where… where did that come from? he thought.

He took his left hand in his right and rubbed his thumb over his palm. No cuts. Only a dream. He sighed. I haven’t had one like that since… before. He shut his eyes. The uneasiness lingered.

“Bad dream?”

The voice startled him and his heart rate jumped again. The room was dim, but it wasn’t black anymore, and the chill it had held when he climbed into bed was gone. A small fire flickered in the hearth, and a bare-chested figure tended it with an iron poker.

“We’re not being ambushed,” Legend continued, “if that helps put you at ease.”

Twilight took another few moments to calm himself, letting out a slow exhale. It was still night, it seemed. The house was still silent and calm, and the older man had shed his gear. The comforter had been replaced on the bed, and the fire crackled softly.

Legend rehung the poker and stretched with a soft grunt. “I’m not one for heartfelt touchy-feely stuff, but if you’re itchin’ to talk…”

Twilight thought for a moment, then shook his head. “I’m alright.”

Legend nodded and got to his feet with a yawn. He started toward the opposite side of the bed, but paused.

“I know those dreams,” he said quietly. His firelit gaze met Twilight’s. “You’ll find her again. One day. I promise.”

Twilight gulped, then nodded.

Legend took the last few strides to his side and climbed into bed, tugging the blanket up over himself with his back to Twilight. Twilight took a similar pose, turning away and letting his eyes rest on the fire.

“Uh, Twi?”

He turned his head slightly. “Yeah?”

“…thanks.”

[clumsydarknut]

The Brothel Fic - Part 3: Dream

Please read parts 1 and 2 first - the context is important for this series.

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“This is your territory, isn’t it? Go on, Captain.”

Legend winked as he leaned back in his chair, watching the strikingly blonde Hero of Souls flush as the girl on his arm pulled him closer. Warriors was always bragging about his exploits – well, maybe not necessarily bragging. The captain mentioned them offhand nearly constantly, though, saying how such and such girl told him about some particular herb or whichever who’s-her-face had a great stew recipe. So probably not bragging, but it was equally annoying.

Satisfied with how much trouble he’d set up for Warriors, he settled back into his own seat, taking a quick swig from his glass of wine. It wasn’t great – fairly new and lacking a depth of flavor – but it would do.

“So,” Legend began, “what do you ladies do for fun?”

The girls around him giggled profusely, hiding smiles behind dainty hands and dancing about under his gaze. The closest – a slender brunette in a scarlet dress, the same girl who had given him his drink – leaned over his shoulder, propping herself up on the back of his chair, and gave his cheek a gentle stroke.

“I think you already know what I like to do, honey,” she cooed.

“Is that so?” Legend replied slyly. He leaned his head into her hand and twirled a strand of her long hair around his finger. “So if I said you were a dancing kind of gal, would I be right?””

Some of the other girls let out squeals as the woman’s mouth popped open in surprise, though it quickly turned into a smirk. Legend met her gaze with a grin and a raised eyebrow.

“You would be,” she purred. “I very much like to dance. How did you know?”

“Oh, you know…” he chuckled. He brought his glass to his lips with a smirk. “Just have a sense for these things.”

“Ooh what about me?” Another girl appeared, wrapping her soft hands around his forearm. “Can you tell what I like?”

Legend gulped. He’d gotten lucky with the brunette – everyone liked dancing. He glanced up and down the new muse. Her hair was almost silver in color, half of which was pulled up into an intricate braid and half of which fell loosely around her long, pointed ears. That gave him exactly nothing to work with. Luckily, her dress was heavily patterned with many intricate layers, so he took another guess.

“Needlework, obviously.” The girl squealed and hugged his arm excitedly. Legend glanced at Warriors just in time to hear a horrible voice crack. He could practically read the man’s prayer to the goddesses written on his face. Oh yes, I heard that, Captain Assflame.

“Do me next!” another girl gushed. This one, a voluptuous woman with blue-tinted curls, practically leapt onto his lap. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Time raise an eyebrow.

“Hmm, that’s tricky…” Legend put on his best thinking face while he stalled for time, searching for any clue as to what the girl might do outside of her job. “Do you like to garden?”

“I do!” she beamed. “You’re really quite good at this.” She bit her lip, and her eyes took on a steamy glaze. “I bet you’re good at other things too.”

Legend laughed and gave her a wink, along with a flirtatious “perhaps”. He now had five or six girls crowded around him, including the one who had been bothering Sky. The Chosen Hero gave him a grateful look, and Legend replied with a slight nod and a helpful grin.

“So…” he continued, turning his attention back to the women, “what other kinds of things do you do in this town? I’ve never been here before, after all.”

“Oh really?” Another woman, this one blonde, popped into his field of view. “I was pretty sure I’d seen you around the village… are you sure we haven’t met?”

These girls make this way too easy, he chuckled inwardly. “Oh, I’m certain. I would remember a face as pretty as yours.”

The girl simpered in delight, a devious smile playing at her lips. “Perhaps, then, we’ve only met in dreams?”

Legend suddenly felt very cold.

“M-maybe,” he replied. Holding the grin didn’t feel as natural anymore. He took another swig of his wine. “But you know, I’m pretty tired. I’ve been on the road a lot, and I’m really looking forward to a nice feather bed. I think I’m going to turn in for the night.”

Disappointed whines hummed around him, but he pushed himself to his feet. He saw Twilight tilt his head questioningly but opted to ignore it. “Could one of you lovely ladies show me to my room?”

“Me, me!” The first woman, who had handed him his drink, tugged at his arm adoringly. “I’ll show you! This way!”

The remaining girls gave crestfallen whimpers as he gave a short goodbye and followed the scarlet-clad beauty down the hall. He didn’t bother to take note of how tightly the woman gripped his wrist.

“Here we are!” she bubbled. She pushed open the door. Inside, a fire already crackled.

“Thank you,” Legend replied. He gave her his signature smirk. “I hope the night finds you well, milady.”

He stepped into the room and moved to close the door, but found her fingers still wrapped around his wrist. He looked up from her grip to her eyes. Brown eyes.

“Do you… need something?” he asked. Her gaze didn’t break.

“I think the question is,” she breathed, “do you need something?”

Legend sighed. “Yes.”

Surprise flickered in her pupils.

“I need sleep.”

Her mouth, again, popped open in surprise, before turning into a sweet giggle. She let go of his wrist. Legend didn’t notice.

“Well then, sweet dreams.”

And with that, she was gone.

Legend let out a long exhale, then stepped fully into the room and closed the door. There was only one bed, as expected, but that would be fine. He and Twi had found they were pretty good roommates, and neither moved much in their sleep. There wouldn’t be any problems.

Not any real problems, anyway.

He shuffled to the bedframe, making his way to the side further from the fireplace. A lantern sat on a bedside table. He didn’t light it. He dropped onto the edge of the mattress. It didn’t feel right. He slid off onto the floor. That didn’t feel right either. But he was down here now. Getting back up seemed too difficult a task for such a small reward.

His head felt like lead. And yet, it felt like a thunderstorm. Every sound echoing from the dining hall seemed like a cacophony, but also… muted. It was too much, but also not enough. He leaned his head back against the down comforter. He could fall asleep right there. Every muscle in his body said that he was comfortable enough. His mind was empty enough. But. It didn’t come. His eyes didn’t even droop. Instead, they stared blankly at a small crack in the wall.

He wanted to sleep. But he also didn’t.

He wanted to want. But he also didn’t.

I should get up, he thought. The concept floated through his mind as an echo on the wind – clearly his own voice, but coming from far, far away. Get off the floor. Get into bed. Get some sleep.

But he didn’t.

His eyes dropped from the crack in the wall to his fingers, limp as his arms draped over his bent knees. He moved them a tad. Just a wiggle. A twitch. It felt wrong. Empty. He felt empty. It scared him, the emptiness. Except that he didn’t do a thing about it. Didn’t want to. Couldn’t. His limbs felt numb, yet he could feel every groove in the floor beneath him. His chest ached. Burned. Like it was collapsing in on itself. A lump held in his throat. He tried to swallow. His mouth was dry.

Dammit, get a grip! He clenched his fists, digging his nails into his palms. Get off the floor! Sitting here won’t make it any better!

He gritted his teeth.

It won’t bring her back.

He inhaled sharply. Good. There’s a start. He turned that effort into a movement and pushed himself off the bedframe. But he didn’t make it to standing.

Instead, he curled forward and pulled his knees to his chest.

Stupid, he thought. Idiot. Get off the floor.

He didn’t respond. Couldn’t respond.

He heard a few footsteps pass outside. Probably Time dragging Wind to bed. Or maybe Four escaping the fawning of the Gerudo women. Likely all leaving to sleep.

I should sleep too.

He pulled his chin down, resting his forehead on his knees, and bit his lip.

I should sleep.

Instead, he found himself dreaming.

The wind was crisp and carried the scent of the ocean, despite the altitude. Rope bridges crawled from ledge to ledge in a complicated and yet beautiful maze, stirring up his excitement. The mountaintop gave an exquisite view of the entire island, covered in lush greenery and splashes of tropical color. It wasn’t so green up here, but the steady stone beneath his feet and the rushing updrafts caused by crashing waves below made up for the lack of foliage. Part of him would be sad to leave this place.

“Link!”

The cry was frantic. It called him into action and he drew his sword, searching for the source.

“Link! Up here! I’m stuck!”

The sweet, bell-like tone carried down from a broken bridge overhead. Looking up, he saw a splash of persimmon-colored hair peeking over the edge.

“Marin?”

The girl peeked further off the rickety bridge, her face relieved that he’d found her. She pulled her windswept hair over her shoulder to keep it from flying about.

“Link! Oh I’m so glad you’re here,” she sighed. “A group of monsters broke the planks as I was going across, and now I can’t get down.”

Without another word, he scrambled up to the ledge where the bridge was attached. He wasn’t sure how to do this, but he had to get her down somehow. He flicked through his bag of gear, observing the environment as he went, until he found his trusty hookshot and a sturdy-looking tree stump hanging off a cliff maybe twenty feet above. That’ll work.

“Hang on, I’ll get you.” He took a step back and aimed the speared chain, letting it fly with a metallic clatter. The point sunk deep into the stump, and he tugged on it to make sure it was secure. Using it this way wasn’t his preferred method, but he feared the jerk of the powerful spring might only make things worse.

“Wait, Link, what are you-“

He didn’t wait to hear her finish. With a run and a jump he shoved off the ledge, swinging across toward her. She gave a surprised yelp as he swept her up in his free arm and she threw her own around his neck. A moment later, their feet hit ground.

Link stumbled for a moment as he triggered the hookshot to release, trying to catch Marin as she tripped on her dress. The adrenaline of the jump had him panting. Good thing that worked.

Marin looked up at him, breathing just as hard and face as pale as porcelain. For a moment. Until a slight tinge of pink touched her cheeks. Her beautiful brown eyes peered up at his own through delicate eyelashes. He felt a different kind of pounding start in his heart. A warm kind. A good kind.

It felt so right. Her in his arms. Her delicate frame, soft and stunning. Her shimmering red hair. Her sweet smile. Her adorable laugh. Her gorgeous, melodious voice. He wanted to hold her, protect her. He wanted to take her on the adventures she so desperately craved. To show her the world. To be her everything, and to treasure her as his own. He could be her hero, and she his princess. Forever.

“You know, Link, I…” She broke their gaze, eyes fluttering in an embarrassed smile. “I, um, I’ve been meaning to say for a while… Well I mean, I’ve meant to tell you… I… Um…”

He didn’t need to hear any more. He dropped his hookshot and slid his hand up to cup her jaw. She gasped almost imperceptibly, but her eyelids slid shut. He leaned close. Her soft breath warmed his face. He closed his eyes. Their lips brushed.

“MAAAAAARRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIINNNNNN!!!!!!”

They pushed apart with a start. Tarin, her father, came running up over the ledge, completely out of breath. Link felt his heart sink. So close.

“Marin!” Tarin called, coming to a stop and panting with his hands on his knees. “Oh I’m so glad you’re okay! You really shouldn’t be all the way up here on your own!”

Marin looked away, embarrassed and fidgeting with her fingers. “Sorry, papa. I just wanted to sing to the Wind Fish.”

“Ah, no matter,” he sighed. “I see Link has taken care of you again. I honestly shouldn’t be surprised anymore.” He chuckled. “Come on home, sweetpea.”

“Alright, papa.” The man set off back down the slope without another word. Marin looked after him with a sad glimmer in her eyes. Her cheeks were still flushed red. They were silent a moment more before she cleared her throat.

“I, um…” she stammered, “I’ll… I’ll tell you another time.” She moved to head back, but peeked over her shoulder one more time, her eyes sparkling in the sun. The ocean breeze caught her vibrant hair. “Come home soon, okay?”

At the time, he had nodded with a sigh. I’ll see her after. I’ll wake the Wind Fish and we’ll go on a real adventure.

But that was the last time he ever saw her.

Legend felt himself climbing the rest of the mountain. Playing the song in front of the Great Egg. Stepping into the dream realm. Finally ridding the island of the nightmares.

And then, waking the Wind Fish.

He crashed back into the present. No! No! Don’t! His arms shook violently, and he gripped his knees tighter to his chest.

Stupid, he seethed. Don’t wake that stupid-ass fish. Don’t save the fish. Don’t save the damned fish. What did the fish ever do for you?

He shuddered, throat seeming to close up as he buried his face into his center. I shouldn’t have. I shouldn’t have chosen the Wind Fish. I should have left it, trapped and asleep. I shouldn’t have saved it. I should have saved her. I chose the Wind Fish over her. It’s all my fault.

Tears plipped against his trousers. The sound made him angry. He clenched his fists.

Idiot! he screamed, though he felt a sob welling up in his chest. Stop being a pansy! What would Warriors say if he saw you like this?! Heroes aren’t supposed to cry!

The sob escaped anyway.

Heroes aren’t supposed to kill their friends, either.

[clumsydarknut]

The Brothel Fic - Part 1: Home

Previously restricted to a small audience in the LinkedUniverse Discord Server, this non-explicit short story delves into the more mature side of our heroes and their journeys. During a pitstop in Hyrule’s time, the group spends a night at a questionable establishment per Hyrule’s suggestion. While they are met with nothing but hospitality, the stop reveals parts of their characters and their morals that make them the Spirit of the Hero. 

Per JoJo’s LU rules, no requests for explicit content to be made from this short will be accepted.

This story is not about angst - it’s about what it is to be human, and what it means to be a hero. I worked very hard to present these themes meaningfully and respectfully, and though they have the occasional dash of humor, I urge you to be careful in your discussion of this work as the topics can be sensitive. I also encourage you to delve into the symbolism - I’ve written in a lot on purpose, and if looking at metaphors critically is not something you’re used to, trying it here will likely improve your enjoyment of this piece! And as always, I highly encourage anyone and everyone to play any Zelda game they can get their hands on - they’re all so good! Thanks!

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—

Hyrule’s world was exhausting. Not a single day went by without some sort of ambush, and mindless enemies like bokoblins didn’t seem to exist. Every foe was just as intelligent as they were dangerous. And he did this completely on his own? Warriors thought. He’s much tougher than he looks.

���Should be just ahead,” Hyrule called from his place in the lead. Warriors sighed in relief. This forest seemed endless and he very much was looking forward to a proper bath. “You guys will love this town. Amber keeps the best lodging and Raven makes a roast chicken like you wouldn’t believe.”

Amber? Raven? The trees gave way into a decent-sized village bustling with townsfolk. Hyrule grinned excitedly and beckoned to the group, practically skipping up the road to a two-story building on the edge of the river. From what Warriors could tell, all of the windows were blacked.

He exchanged concerned glances with Legend. “Uh, Hyrule?”

Hyrule didn’t notice and gave a solid rap on the door. It swung open to reveal a young woman with incredibly curly hair and a bodice that… made Warriors a tad more than uncomfortable. The girl’s face lit up at the sight of the new guest.

“Linky!” she screeched, throwing her arms around Hyrule’s shoulders.

“Jade!” Hyrule returned the hug. “It’s great to see you!”

“Better to see you, Linky,” the girl giggled. She glanced over his shoulder and perked up. “Who are your friends?”

“Bit difficult to explain,” Hyrule chuckled, “but we’re looking for a place to stay. Do you know if Amber can fit nine more?”

“Anything for you, Linky,” Jade winked. She rushed back inside. Warriors looked around at the other Links, who all bore the same confused expression.

“Uh, Hyrule?” Legend said a bit louder. Hyrule turned. “You… know this is a brothel, right?”

Hyrule frowned. “Does that make a difference?” Warriors’ eyebrows shot up.

“Um, yeah, just a bit,” Twilight replied, scratching the back of his head awkwardly.

“Wait, what’s a brothel?” Wind piped up. Seven faces went suddenly pale.

“Hyrule,” Time growled, “There are children present.”

Hyrule seemed unfazed. “Their hospitality is unmatched, and there is no better source of information in the whole of Hyrule. I trust them. Better here than the inn. I swear I saw the innkeeper turn into a bat once.”

Before they could argue further, Jade reappeared in the doorway with two other girls. “Come in, come in! We were just about to have dinner.” Warriors felt his stomach leap into his throat as one of the girls – a short, curvaceous blonde with bright green eyes – grabbed his arm and tugged him inside.

Oh Hylia. The inside of the building was lush and warm and full of women. Warriors felt his face flush as he tried to keep his eyes from dipping to where they shouldn’t. Oh Hylia help me.

“Linky, darling!” An older woman wearing a tad too much rouge greeted Hyrule with a warm smile. “Come, sit! Raven made us roast chicken tonight and you know her – always makes too much!”

Hyrule grinned excitedly at his increasingly uncomfortable companions. Instantly each hero had a girl clinging to each arm, leading them through the lobby to a dining room in the back. The blonde giggled and hugged Warriors’ bicep tightly, and he suddenly felt as though his trousers were a touch too tight.

The group of heroes sat down around the long dining table. Hyrule immediately struck up a conversation with the older woman – Amber, it seemed was her name. Wild and Sky took seats next to each other and began wolfing down food without looking up, sitting close enough together that the women couldn’t squeeze in between to flirt. Wind looked utterly perplexed as Time and Twilight sandwiched him, giving warning glances to the women flocked around them. Four looked the most uncomfortable, drilling a hole into the table with his stare while two towering Gerudo women fawned and giggled over his “adorable” tunic.

Legend, on the other hand, had finished being uncomfortable and decided on being thoroughly amused. He shot Warriors a smirk as he took a glass from a girl in a scarlet dress. Warriors felt himself pale as the man leaned over and whispered, “This is your territory, isn’t it? Go on, Captain.”

“Shut it, Legend,” he hissed. It was too late, however, as the blonde pressed into him further.

“Ooh, a captain?” she cooed, “I don’t think I’ve ever met a captain before!”

“Oh, but Layla…” Another woman came up on his other side, this one tall and voluptuous with deep violet hair. “A captain at his age? Surely he’s too young.” She smirked and gave him a wink.

“Mmmm, maybe you’re right, Venus,” Layla hummed. Her emerald eyes blinked up and met his gaze. Warriors’ breath hitched. “Are you… really a captain?”

Her eyes were beautiful, peering up at him through thick, dark lashes. Her scarlet lips parted softly, her delicate jaw tilted in a not-so-innocent invitation. Legend was right. This is his territory. Territory of pure, velvety soft skin from the crook of her jaw down along her slender neck, over her tender shoulders and diving beneath her low-cut silken blouse. Oh yes, this was his territory.

No! What am I thinking?! He gulped at his dry mouth as he continued to stare. I’m captain of the Royal Guard! I have an image to uphold! This is a Nayru-forsaken brothel! He licked his chapped lips. Have to stand my ground. Scare her off, maybe.

“I-I am.” He had intended it to be deep and intimidating but was horrified to hear it escape more as a squeak. Oh Din please let Legend not have heard.

Layla giggled profusely and pulled down his bottom lip with the tip of her finger. “I didn’t know they let people so young do things so important.”

“Adorable, he is,” Venus sang. “Just look at that face!”

A third woman, this one older with curls of scarlet, leaned over the back of his chair. “So pretty. Such beautiful hair.”

“You didn’t get made captain just for your looks now did you?” Layla winked.

“N-no!” Warriors stammered indignantly, his face – among other things – heating up uncomfortably. “I’ll have you know I earned my place just as any other knight!”

“Oh, well then,” the ginger snickered, “How’d you get to be such a warrior so young?”

“You think he’s even legal?” Venus grinned at her fellow.

Warriors’ jaw dropped. “O-of course!” The words came out with a horribly embarrassing crack in his voice. Out of the corner of his eye he spotted Legend holding back laughter. He cleared his throat and tried again. “Of course I am.” The girls giggled more.

“Aww, such a tough boy,” the red-head sang, pouting her lips and stroking his hair. “There’s no shame in telling the truth, honey.”

That got him. That line clinched it. This may be a backwater whorehouse in some goddess-forsaken version of Hyrule without order or law, but he wasn’t about to be taken for some innocent child like poor, confused Wind. He took a breath and puffed out his chest, summoning the confidence he usually reserved for battle, and locked eyes with Layla. These ladies were going to know just how legal he was, and if he had his way, they would enjoy it.

“Sugar, they don’t make children Captain of the Royal Guard.”

—

Hyrule let himself and his fellows sleep far past dawn the next day. This was a place he could trust, and it was doubtful they would have beds this soft again any time soon, so it wasn’t until they gathered for breakfast that he noticed something was off.

“Hey, where’s Warriors?”

The group looked up from their meals to him and then at each other.

“I thought he roomed with you,” Wild replied.

“No, I roomed with Four,” Hyrule said, squinting down at his plate.

“Well I was with Sky,” Wild offered.

“I kept Wind with me,” Time added, taking a sip from his glass.

“Wouldn’t let me leave the room at all…” Wind muttered.

“Legend? Twilight?” Twilight shook his head, but Legend instead leaned back in his chair and put a hand over his mouth. Hyrule gave a confused squint, and Legend responded with a flick of his head to the door across from him.

Hyrule turned to find Warriors striding into the room with the face like he’d just been made Grand Commander. He looked to Legend, then back to Warriors, mouth agape. Warriors met Hyrule’s gaze and stopped dead in his tracks. The room went silent for what seemed like millennia.

“…Warriors, what did you do?”

The blond tugged at his scarf. “Uh, what do you mean?”

Hyrule took a deep, long breath. “Who did you room with last night?”

He could practically see the beads of sweat forming on Warriors’ brow. “I, um, well…”

Hyrule took a step closer. “Warriors, what did you do?”

Warriors was silent for another second, then gave a nervous smirk. “Well I mean, it’s not like it’s out of the norm here.”

Fist met jaw and Warriors was sent reeling back into the wall. Sky and Wild jumped to their feet and grabbed hold of Hyrule’s arms as he struggled to land another hit.

“WHAT THE HELL WARRIORS! THEY’RE LETTING US STAY HERE OUT OF GOOD WILL!”

“It’s a brothel Hyrule! You can’t expect me not to accept their services!” Warriors rubbed his jaw and grimaced.

“Just because they’re selling, DOESN’T MEAN YOU NEED TO BUY!” Hyrule roared.

Warriors chuckled under his breath. “Honestly she should have been the one paying me.”

Hyrule charged forward and slammed Warriors into the wall, dragging Sky and Wild with him. Both scrambled to get out of the fray as Hyrule revealed a side to him the others had never seen – the Hyrule that had survived this lawless kingdom. Sparks and flames burst from his skin almost involuntarily and Warriors cried out for help.

“Hyrule!” Time roared, wrenching him off of the now badly bruised blond.

“He- but-” Hyrule gave up making a coherent sentence and instead gave a guttural scream, struggling even against Time’s goron-like grip. Four beckoned for Time to pull him into the next room as Wild rushed to examine Warriors’ face.

Hyrule’s mind was reeling. How could he? How could he do that? They’re- these girls- How could he? He hardly registered Time releasing him or Four putting a hand on his shoulder.

“He… they…” Hyrule mumbled. Four simply waited, grip firm but gentle. Eventually Hyrule’s mumbling ended and Four felt it right to ask.

“Why are they so important to you?”

Another few minutes passed before Hyrule answered.

“I… don’t remember much of my family,” he began. “They were gone before I could speak. I honestly don’t even know where I’m from – I’ve been on the road for as long as I can remember.” He let out a short laugh. “You guys call me Hyrule, but I don’t even know if I’m Hyrulean.”

Four made to comment that Twilight wasn’t technically Hyrulean either, but stopped himself. Time had mentioned Ordona Province might once have been part of Hyrule proper, and dancing around the technicality wouldn’t make Hyrule feel any better about the subject. Instead, Four simply nodded.

“I spent most of my time hopping from cave to cave, since that’s where I’d find shelter and occasionally a family with some spare bedding,” he continued softly. “I didn’t really have a home until the Princess invited me to stay at the castle, but that still felt just as empty. Queen Zelda is wonderful, but the castle at the time was anything but homey – what with being half-destroyed and all. I didn’t stay there long and went back to bed-hopping while I helped rebuild.”

Four nodded again. Sometimes familiarity was more comfortable than the fluffiest feather beds.

Hyrule paused, letting out a soft sigh. “When I set out on my next quest, I saw towns for the first time. Real towns. Towns with histories and families and buildings more than a year old. At first I just thought of it as more cave stops and the like, but… I stumbled into a brothel one day not really knowing what it was, and everyone was just so… nice. They fed me and gave me a bed and were always trying to help with my mission.” He laughed again, this time a little more cheerfully. “Hell, if Jade in there hadn’t told me the ghost story about the empty church house and the bell tower I never would have learned that downthrust technique. I’d be dead right now. And Ganon would still rule here.”

“That’s less than ideal…” Four breathed. Hyrule didn’t notice.

“My point, I guess… I don’t really know what ‘home’ is, or what it should feel like, but… the closest I’ve had for a long time is here. And I guess some of the other houses in other towns.” Hyrule met Four’s gaze. “It’s not much, but it’s something, right? Something… something I want to protect.”

Four didn’t say any more, but Hyrule could sense the understanding. They all had their rag-tag improvised families somewhere out there. He felt a little weird that his happened to be a bunch of prostitutes, but he didn’t regret it. He’d never accepted their services, of course, and they’d always been so kind. They’d cared for him and helped him back on his feet. Sometimes they’d make him angrier than a scorpion, but they always made him laugh, too. The girls were the closest thing he had to what he might call sisters. Hyrule clenched his fist. And Warriors had to go and…

“Hey, relax,” Four said at last. Hyrule felt his magic spark angrily, but he obliged. “Beating the shit out of him won’t be productive for our quest.”

“Does it look like I can think about our quest right now?” Hyrule snapped.

“No, which is why I’m doing it for you,” Four replied. “And while I’m at it, I have a better revenge plan.”

Hyrule perked up slightly. “What would that be?”

Four smirked. “If I recall, you’re not the only one who can change in size and appearance at will. Hasn’t Warriors been begging you to teach him some spells?”

—

Warriors was pretty sure he was in the clear. It had been almost a month since the incident at the brothel and Hyrule had long since stopped glaring him down. He had actually been rather friendly as of late, which was definitely a nice change of pace. He hoped it stayed that way as they came up on the next town.

As soon as they finished setting up camp, Hyrule extended a very sudden invitation.

“Hey, Warriors, want to learn some magic?”

It caught him off guard, but it was certainly a pleasant surprise. “What? Now? Sure!”

Hyrule led him off into a clearing and began teaching him the incantation for a spell he called Thunder. It wasn’t terribly difficult to pronounce, despite being in Hyrule’s version of Hylian. The trick, he found, was getting the magic to activate and flow properly.

“You should sort of feel a tingling. Magic is energy, not just words.” Hyrule motioned for him to try again. “Call on your emotions, your fighting spirit, and then channel that through the words.”

Warriors took a breath, closing his eyes gently. Once again he spoke the incantation, and at last he felt it. The surge of power sent ripples up through his fingertips. He grinned in excitement. I’ve got it! I’m doing it!

Just as quickly as his excitement came, it was replaced by terror. With each ripple, his outstretched arms grew smaller. The ripples came faster and faster and his eye level fell lower and lower on the trees.

“Hyrule!” he screeched, discovering in horror that his voice was now several notes higher. “HYRULE WHAT’S GOING ON?!”

He looked up to see Hyrule stood over him… grinning. Warriors’ terror quickly turned to rage.

“HYRULE WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE TO ME?!” His voice was almost a squeak now. “WHAT WAS THAT SPELL?! THIS ISN’T THUNDER!”

Hyrule chuckled. “You’re right.” In one motion, he scooped up the tiny Link and Warriors found himself in a crystal bottle. “It is most definitely not Thunder.”

“Hyrule!” he shouted. Hyrule carried the bottle back to the camp, and to Warriors’ dismay, the entire camp was waiting expectantly.

“Oh, no,” Legend snickered, “Now that’s just too good.”

“What did you do to me?!” Warriors screamed. “What am I?! Why am I small?!”

“You brought this on yourself,” Wild chuckled.

“Brought what?! What am I?!”

“Oh, you’ll find out tomorrow,” Four grinned.

—

From inside the bottle Warriors could see they were approaching a building very similar to the one the incident had taken place in. He had figured this was Hyrule’s revenge for that – Hylia knows why it upset him so much. Just as he expected, as soon as they were inside his bottle was placed on a table for all the girls to see.

What he didn’t expect was what the girls said.

“Oh Linky where’d you catch such a pretty fairy?”

“Linky she’s gorgeous!”

“Can we play with her Linky?”

Hyrule smirked evilly down at the now utterly dumbfounded Warriors. “Sure you can. I bet if you ask really nice she’ll help you with your hair.”

I most certainly will not! SHE?! Warriors began spewing obscenities at the top of his lungs while the girls giggled excitedly. Hyrule picked up the bottle and gave it a tiny shake.

“You will help them with whatever they ask, or,” Hyrule grinned, “I won’t help you turn back.”

“What the hell, Hyrule?! What did I do to deserve this?!”

Hyrule seemed to be enjoying every second of this. He licked his lips as if savoring what he said next.

“This is for screwing my sister.”

[clumsydarknut]

The Brothel Fic - Part 2: Captain

Please read Part 1 first - the context is important for this chapter.

Beginning | Next | Most Recent

---

Warriors was glad Legend had gone to bed early.

The man was insufferable already, holding every little misstep over his head. After he’d lit his tunic on fire that one time he and Wild launched over an enemy camp on a log, Legend had refused to call him by anything other than ‘Captain Assflame’ for the next three weeks.

He didn’t want to think about what the rat man would do if he saw him leaving with a girl.

Warriors shoved that thought to the back of his mind and focused on the beauty leading him by the hand away from the dining room. Her steps were light and quick, her tiny fingers gripping his gloved hands with a near-imperceptible touch. The smile she wore was giggly and sweet, her cheeks flushed from excitement as she pulled him into the room at the end of the hall. Though he played the part of the confident sophisticate, his heart fluttered in his chest, energized by the same thrill that sparkled in her eyes.

“Warriors is a pretty strange name,” she cooed. The only light in the room – a dim flame flickering in the fireplace – danced shadows across her face. She tugged on the leather strap across his chest. “Can I just call you Captain?”

He felt the side of his mouth tug up into a smirk. He brushed his fingers along her arms and gently placed his hands on her waist. “As long as I can call you My Lady.” He pulled her a little closer. Her lips parted softly.

That’s when he saw the fear.

It was only an instant, a glimmer, just as her eyes closed. A faint flash, imperceptible to anyone else. To anyone but a warrior, trained to look for any advantage in any form. It was the same flicker he’d seen in countless foes. Right before he’d destroyed them.

He let go of her waist and took a step back. “No.”

Layla’s eyes fluttered open, confusion painting her face. “No?”

“No,” he said again. The girl tilted her head, her blonde hair tumbling over her bare shoulders. He gulped. “You… you’re afraid. Why are you afraid?”

She blinked. “I don’t… what do you mean?”

Warriors held her gaze. The glimmer persisted. He was scaring her – how was he scaring her?

“Do you…” he hesitated, “Do you think I’m going to hurt you?”

“I-I don’t really understand…” she murmured. She dropped her eyes to the carpet.

He suddenly realized where he was. This wasn’t a ball at the castle. This wasn’t a tavern in in Kakariko. This was a brothel. A brothel in the most run-down version of Hyrule he’d visited to date. This wasn’t a noble or a city girl. She was a prostitute. She had every right to be afraid – this wasn’t a job that left you with good memories and stories for your grandkids. From the looks of it, she didn’t even realize she was scared. What has this girl endured?

He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly and softly, before unlacing his vambraces and slipping them off his hands. He could feel Layla’s curious eyes on him, though she kept her head down. He moved to his shoulder strap. I can’t save this kingdom from destitution… He undid the belt over his tunic. I can’t change the damage that’s been done… He slipped off his metal pauldron. But maybe, in some small way… He tossed his gear to the corner, and finally, unwrapped his scarf. Maybe I can just save one person.

He stepped forward again and felt her flinch, but she raised her gaze to his. Gently, he put his scarf over her shoulders, and gave her a kind grin. She wouldn’t understand the significance, but he did, and he hoped that would be enough. Again, he slid his hands to her waist, bringing her fully within reach, and her lips twitched into a small, surprised smile.

“My Lady,” Warriors breathed, “You are safe in my arms.”

---

Warriors relaxed into the satin bedding, the firelight dancing off the sweat on his bare chest as it rose and fell in a slow pant. Violet sheets tangled around his legs and the down comforter lay clinging to one corner of the mattress, though most of it was heaped on the floor. Snuggled into his side, breath labored and shaky, was one of the most stunning creatures he had ever seen. Short and curvaceous, with skin as soft as silk and eyes as bright as diamonds, she was a rarity in a Hyrule so deprived of beauty and civility. Long, platinum blonde hair draped over her shoulders in a rumpled mess, shifting over light splotches of pink on her skin – his handiwork - as she turned to meet his gaze with a tired smile. He smiled back.

“Captain indeed,” she murmured, laying her head on his chest.

He chuckled. Her cool breath brushed over his hot skin, sending a chill up his spine. He wrapped an arm around her and sighed.

I… didn’t realize how much I needed that, he thought, eyes slipping closed as the fatigue of the afterglow blanketed him. His life was perpetually fraught with danger and rife with combat. It wasn’t often he got to let his more tender emotions out of their carefully built cage. Showing any sign of vulnerability, whether or not it was positive or negative in nature, would immediately put you at a disadvantage in battle. Your opponents would sense it, and more dangerously your allies would sense it. Keeping a tight hold on your feelings and projecting confidence was absolutely critical in commanding an army, and it was a habit he had stuck to whilst jumping between realms with the other Heroes.

Being able to just let go – to be gentle and emotional instead of harsh and callous… it was nice.

He felt Layla’s breathing become slow and even, her delicate fingers falling limp against his chest. He grinned. She fell asleep first. You done good, Link. He carefully slipped his fingers between hers. The heavy air began to thin as the fire dwindled out, leaving them alone in the black to sleep in peace. With as much care as he could manage, he tugged the twisted sheets up over them both before settling in.

I hope, he thought, that this is a good memory, Layla.

---

It was certainly the memory he clung to as he lay curled up at the bottom of Hyrule’s bottle.

He’d managed to cling to some semblance of sanity while Hyrule showed him off to all the girls in the building, making him help them with their hair and makeup and the like, but the day was over, and instead of helping him turn back to normal, Hyrule had put him back in the bottle.

He was really sorry now, to say the least.

Warriors couldn’t control his rapid breathing, his sputtering exhales shaking his miniscule frame like a leaf. The glass seemed to be shrinking around him, slowly descending to crush him into fairy dust. That awful, high-pitched laugh echoed through his head. Over and over. Over and over. He had to get out. Get out. Get out.

He pushed himself to his knees and vertigo spun the world rapidly, forcing a lurch in the depths of his stomach. He swallowed it down and crawled millimeter by millimeter to the edge of the glass, tremors racking his limbs as he pounded weakly on the transparent cage.

“H-Hy… hah… H-Hyrule…” he cried. His voice was only a squeak. “H-heh… h-help… p-p-please…”

Help! The cry was small and sweet. I’m too little to fight! Please, help!

“H-hah… ha-have t-to g-get… out…” His puny fist smacked against the glass with a tiny tink.

Oh ho, look what I’ve caught! The shrill voice pounded in his head. A little handsome hero, looking for divine intervention? Sure thing, sweetie. On one condition…

He landed one more hit on the crystal wall before he slumped back to the floor. His body shuddered as he gasped for breath that did not want to come. Spots colored his vision and he curled into himself. Goddesses, please… please help me…

Suddenly gravity was reversed, and he felt himself fly up off the bottle floor and hit something soft. He registered voices. Movement. The thud of footfalls. Black still dotted everything, and what wasn’t black was blurred. Something prodded his stomach, and the bile that had threatened to rise before wretched out of him in a choked cough. The acid burned at his throat. All of the carefully built walls guarding his vulnerabilities were gone, and a sob tore through him like a knife.

“Warriors, hey…” He felt hands grip his shoulders. “Breathe. It’s okay. Breathe.”

The voice was distant, barely a whisper amongst the piercing laughter that crashed through his head. Little Linky, little Linky, fairy in a bottle…

“Ha-ha-have to g-get out…” His quivering hands fisted themselves in his hair. “G-g-get o-out…”

“You are out. Breathe. You need to breathe, Warriors.”

Please, help! I’m trapped!

“Dammit, Link!”

Warriors felt the hands wrench him to his seat. The sudden motion made his head swim for a moment, but the laughter began to fade. The voice coaxed him more, becoming louder and closer than it was before. He managed a few, painful breaths, the tremors diminishing. Slowly, the black spots in his vision refilled with color, and the blur, too, started to dissipate.

“Good, there we go. Deep breaths. In and out.”

Warriors made himself inhale deeper and exhale longer, clenching his fists harder to keep his arms from shaking. Steadily, his heart rate calmed, and the only remnants left were sweat, a few tears, and a few drips of vomit staining his lips.

Hyrule - shrunk into his fairy form - knelt next to him, hands firmly holding his arms. The man raised a concerned eyebrow. “You good?”

Warriors took a few more breaths, gluing his eyes to a single spot on the cloth where he sat. When the world finally stopped swimming, he nodded. “I th-think so.”

Hyrule relaxed his grip with a sigh, looking him up and down. “I’m glad. Just rest for a bit. When you’re ready, I’ll help you change back.”

Warriors nodded, and they both fell silent.

The faint rush of the nearby river whispered through the window alongside the weak touch of moonlight, dimly outlining the forms of furniture in the room splayed out before them. The quiet aches of the building settling hummed now and then. The two sat in silence, Warriors breathing carefully and deliberately until his heart was no longer pounding, Hyrule playing with the ties on his tunic. It was… strangely serene.

“I’m sorry,” Hyrule said suddenly. Warriors blinked. “I didn’t know you were claustrophobic.”

The blond rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m… not, really. Not like that.”

Hyrule tilted his head. “’Not like that’? What does that mean?”

Warriors sighed, looking down. He wasn’t proud of this story. “I… got trapped in a bottle once. By a Great Fairy. It was her ‘price’ for helping us defeat odds we would have lost to.” He grimaced. “She kept me in there for days.”

Hyrule didn’t say more.

Warriors leaned back. He closed his eyes. “I’m sorry too.”

“Damn right you should be,” Hyrule mumbled.

Warriors laughed. “Whoa hey there aren’t you supposed to be like, ‘it’s okay we’re even now’?”

Hyrule smirked, but pulled his knees in to his chest.

Warriors watched him for another minute. The teen wasn’t very brawny or tall. He was 17, maybe barely 18, with not a hint of gaining any more height. This kid… he did it all with wits, skill, and heart. No training. No brute force. No allies. The exact opposite of himself in almost every way. And yet, he was still just as much of a hero.

Warriors exhaled softly. “You know, I didn’t buy her.”

Hyrule perked up slightly in surprise. Warriors gave a soft nod.

“I’ll admit, I flirted and showed off and whatever else with things in mind,” he continued, “but at no point did I intend to pay for her ‘services’. There was a bit of my pride involved, sure, and a good amount of missing the company of a woman, but… it’s always more fun when the girl is just as on-board as you are. And she was.”

Hyrule’s brow furrowed. “And that makes things different?”

Warriors flinched. “No, I suppose not.” He closed his eyes. “But… I tried to treat her like a queen, ‘Rule. To show her that not all men are pigs. I can’t ask you to completely forgive me, but… I wasn’t my intention to hurt her, or to hurt you. I’m sorry that I did.”

Hyrule was silent for a moment more. Then, with a stretch and a grunt, he pushed himself to his feet. He looked out across the mega-sized room with a yawn.

“Well, seems you’re probably strong enough to change back to normal,” he said. He offered Warriors his hand. Warriors met his gaze. In the man’s dark eyes, he saw a glimmer. “Maybe after, I can teach you to cast Thunder for real, yeah?”

Warriors grinned. He took his hand. “Yeah.”