#thebeginningofdivorce

[anonymouslyuntitled]

The beginning of the end

Feeling like we were on the right track, I started spending money on things that were always out of our budget, but that I made a point to include. We had two social outings with friends when I wanted to feel that money was no issue. One was a night out in NYC for a friend’s birthday at a trendy spot; another was a fancy wine tasting dinner. I even booked a trip to finally see the Canadian Rockies, as Banff has been on D’s wish list for quite some time. The trip is at the end of July.

On Saturday, we hosted a BBQ with family. D disappeared a couple of times, but was just around the corner, where he parked his car to make room for our guests in the driveway. He was ever the accommodating host and teammate of a husband, manning the grill, serving the wine, while cleaning up along the way. He even took my dad for a ride around town on his motorcycle.

At the end of the night, after the guests had gone, D told me he would send me videos of my dad on the motorcycle, because he got some good ones. I got his texts while he was upstairs in the bathroom, and while I was resting downstairs on the recliner.

But he sent me something he didn’t mean to. A video selfie meant for another woman, referring to me not by my name, but as “L’s mom,” and telling the woman that I was away celebrating my mom’s birthday. I was so confused who he was talking to, and to see my husband in a video selfie (which he had never sent me as a message, let alone make video selfies in the first place). I listened to it several times, but despite never learning who the recipient was, it ended with him saying “te amo,” and that was it for me.

I ran upstairs to confront him. He was sitting on the toilet and I told him that was the perfect position for him to experience humiliation. He never denied it and immediately started apologizing. I ran out of the house and called his mother. I asked for her help because I wanted him out of the house. I sent her the video.

I ransacked the house and threw out as many of his belongings as I could. He packed them in garbage bags and two suitcases. I trashed his motorcycle helmets. I smashed two items personalized with our initials. I slashed a recent reproduction of Klimt’s The Kiss, that he probably bought with his new rush of infatuation. He did eventually leave, and for the last two nights he has allegedly slept at his mother’s apartment.

I confided in only 3 friends. I have not even told K, much less my extended family. I know what scares me. That K will be angry and disappointed, at the adoptive father who turned out the same cheating man his biological father was. That my family will say “I told you so,” by my mother and sister who told me I needed to be nicer; by my brother who never liked him; by every man who has cheated on his wife (my father, my oldest brother, and brother-in-law).

7.1.19