#the-silver-peahen-residence ( The Black Fang Hellhound - Akutagawa Ryuunsoke )

[demon-blood-youths]

Does Port Mafia Have Benefits? | A Crack Drabble

A drabble featuring Chuya, Ryunosuke, Gin, Dazai,and Kunkida by @the-silver-peahen-residence and my muses Navarro, Shdwkyz, Maggie and Fosh from my blog @demon-blood-youths and Matt from @lovelyxhorrors

This crack drabble contains cursing, offensiviness, meme references and complete nonsense! There are some grammatical errors. You have been warned!

Summary:

Do Port Mafia Have Benefits?

The DBT and ADA meets with Port Mafia regarding the Lovey Horrors whereabouts. Then the conversation took a funny turn of what are the work benefits in Port Mafia.

-----

“What the hell do you mean you’re going to work with Lovely Horrors?! HAVE YOU LOST YOUR DAMN MIND?!  Did you just slept the entire Powerpoint presentation of how fucked up these guys are or you just don’t give a shit?!” Navaro staring at Chuya in dsielief. Chuya sighs. 

“Look....I don’t like it either but these guys....are helping us out in finding their teammate Cobin. Plus they helping out in other things....” Like Pete who wants to accompany Q on their missions and the fraction killing their enemies who tried to assassinate Ryunosuke and they rescued Gin. 

“Cobin?!” Navarro asked. 

“Yeah...that uh....killer robot you told us about-! Sid told us-

“Sid?! Who the hell is Sid?!” Navarro said. 

“The one wearing the cloak wearing a ghost face mask!” Chuya said angrily. “She said that we should work together in taking down Cobin and-

“And what? And what?! They leave and that’s it?! Killer Night just kill Iron Titan in front of your own eyes. Not because he did it because it’s right.! It’s because that happy-ass Micheal Myers lookalike motherfucker does it for the shit and giggles! How do you know they’re not going to kill you next on their list?!” Navarro demand. 

Ryunosuke scoffs, “If they did, most of us wouldn’t be here.” He already doesn’t like this brat for bad mouthing Matt right now. He heard it from Matt that DBT are strong like the leader named Van Ink The Dragon. But her teammates? Like this Navarro is too loud, too vulugar and acting too immature. “And a weakling like you should be grateful that Matt and his fraction are offering a helping hand to you lot.” 

“The fuck do you say?!” Navarro glared at Ryunosuke,  “Man, screw that! Next you’re going to tell me they’re going to join you guys because of health benefits!”

“Health- what?!” Chuya stared, wondering what the hell is Navarro going about.  Gin blinks. 

“Health benefits!!!” Navarro repeated. “Dazai told me you guys got a LEGAL business permit and you got a lot of benefits and that’s why people join your gang in the first place!”

“Wha-??” Chuya just glares at Dazai who looks to be smiling micheviously and starts to whistle as if he is pretending to be ignorant. What the hell? What the hell is Dazai telling these kids about?! 

“I mean you do have benefits at Port Mafia?” Maggie said. “Right?”

“Every company should at least have benefits, that would be weird if you guys don’t” Fosh said making Kunkida and Shdwkyz sighed at the same time. They’re getting off track here. The DBT members wait for Chuya to answer. However....

“I don’t know...I mean...” Chuya doesn’t know how to answer that. Gin had an answer to that question but Navvro groans, 

“Oh my god...” Navarro begins, “You’re a damn executive of the mafia and your dumbass don’t know if you have health benefits, vacation days and shit?! What kind fuck of business are you running here?!” Navarro said. This made Dazai starting to crack up, trying so hard not to laugh. 

“What do you mean what kind of business are we’re running here?! We’re PORT MAFIA! We run shit! We kill shit! We do shit and do crime! We’re mafisos! We take names and kick ass! That’s what we do! LOOK AROUND YOU! WE’RE THE BEST CRIMINAL ORGANIZATION IN THE CITY!”

Dazai starts laughing making Kunkida scowled, wondering if Dazai wants to entertain this nonsense. 

“NOW DO YOU WANT OUR HELP OR NOT?!” Chuya shouted. “COME ON!”

“LISTEN FOOL! If you don’t tell us if you got benefits or not, I’m going to give one star on yelp, bitch!” 

Chuya twitched his eye which made Dazai wheeze a little. His laughter is so contagious it starts to makes Maggie and Fosh snickered. Even Shdwkyz lets out a snort at this. 

“Oh my god!” He facepalmed, wondering what bullshit is this, 

“You aren’t gonna give me shit, kid. Either accept their-OUR help or GET OUT!” Chuya shouted,  “I thought I’m dealing with fraction whose knows what they’re doing but A COUPLE OF CLOWNS from freaking NEW YORK just walked through our door!” 

“What the fuck did you just call me?! I’m going full Cuban on your dumb-ass! Tienes beneficios o no! ¡Maldita sea! ¡Dinos! ¡O te volaré el culo al infierno! ¿Tiene beneficios para la salud? ¿Días de vacaciones?! ¿Tienes incluso dental?!”

And Chuya just lost it. 

“SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT HE’S SAYING!" Chuya shouted, pointing at Navarro. Maggie could help out but she is too busy laughing to give Chuya an answer.  “WHAT THE FUCK HE IS SAYING?! I DON’T SPEAK TACO BELL!!” This made Dazai and the rest of DBT cracked up even harder. Dazai slaps his thigh as he laughs even harder. 

Kunkida sighs, running his hair with his hand as he feels that he is surrounded by idiots. Navarro continues to speak Spanish. 

“I-I don’t know.” Kunkida said as he has now have the DBT except Navarro whose is ticked off, they are laughing their heads off with Dazai who is hunched over, holding his sides as he continues to laugh.

"WELL GET SOMEONE WHO EITHER SPEAK ENGLISH OR FUCKING JAPANESE!!" Chuuya yelled. Navarro continues and Dazai is laughing his ass off along with his teammates meanwhile Kunkida groans internally.

“THIS IS THE LAND OF THE RISING SUN!” Chuya shouts, shaking Navarro’s body by the shoulders. “WE. SPEAK. JAPANESE!” Chuya tells Navarro, shaking him by the shoulders every time he says the words. 

“¡Cuáles son sus beneficios! ¡¿Qué son?!” Navarro continues.

“All right! That’s it! That’s it, You little shit! You’re coming with me! COME ON!” Chuya said, now dragging him outside at this point so he can kick his ass.  

But suddenly-

“SLIENCE!” Ryunosuke sends out Rashmon tearing a hole in the wall, stopping whatever nonsense he sees and he going to set the record straight. Because, by god, this is most dumbest thing he has ever seen! Rashomon growls as Ryunosuke takes a breath and begins to answer.

“We have health benefits, work parties, vacation days, rewards, bonuses, maternity leave, career & personal development training,, work-from-home options, and dental.” Ryunosuke calmly answered the boy’s question. 

“And employee growth plans, unlimited sick days, relaxation spaces, and company equity.” Gin adds, nodding in agreement with her brother.

“That....sounds pretty good. Way better than ones in American offering.” Fosh commented to which Maggie and Shdwkyz agreed. Even Kunkida is impressed to hear that. No wonder, so many people joined Port Mafia. 

“Happy? I don’t see how that does to do with anything! Now can we please move on! Before I kill any of you in this room!” Ryunosuke glared.

This shuts down the conversation and two parties return to the topic on hand. Finally, the DBT has accepted the help of Lovely Horrors working with Port Mafia for the time being. 

-----

Later that night

“Wait...so you guys do have benefits?” Matt asked making Ryunosuke sighed which made Matt cracks up before hugging Ryunosuke after hearing the most funniest story he ever heard of.

“Maybe I should join Port Mafia as a temp.” Matt joked making Ryunosuke sigh and shaking his head with a smile.