#the worst part is that this city is absolutely not equipped for this weather. at all.

[hirazuki]

How is it 19 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT (that’s -7.2 C to my fellow non-Americans) outside???? 

I am but only a Mediterranean lizard. I dream of summer. Fire signs are not meant to live in the ice.

I am so unhappy T___T

[sludgefriend]

Things went on smoothly for a while. Probably even better than they were before. This would only really last for a little while. I started a job as a medical courier and had way less time to dedicate to the community as a result. On top of that, I’d compromised quite a few of my own ideas and principles in the rebuild to hopefully make the community a better place for everyone. So, in all honesty, I lost a bit of the ambition I had for it.

Beyond that, disputes started breaking out a bit. Mostly reasonable, typical ones, but some based around an individual that was just really making some people extremely uncomfortable. Some hard decisions were made, he was removed, people splintered off for other reasons, and i watched this thing that I so cherished slide into disrepair.

It was fall now, and though things in the community were going a bit south, I was still pretty optimistic. Admittedly, things never fully imploded, but to this day it remains in a state that’s only a shadow of its former self.

At this time though, I was living a life of complete indulgence. I’d completely transformed myself. I’d been working out for months now, gotten a series of new piercings, completely reworked my wardrobe, and was working with a brand new set of rules and ideals for myself.

I started to miss though, this feeling of free creation. When I joined the original server, I got that new name, and that enabled me to be more of who I wanted to be. I wasn’t constrained to the name I’d lived with throughout my life and all of its associations. I was free to live as the person I felt I was. Over all this time though, I could tell, this new person that I was embodying was solidifying. People had ideas about me and who I was and what I wanted. They knew my triumphs and my faults. I craved that freedom that I had lost.

So I started leaving the city, heading to others nearby on the weekends. Getting lost at different bars and concerts and events with people I’d never see again. I started sleeping with strangers for the first time in my life. In all honesty, I didn’t care too much for that bit. But I loved how it felt. The freedom, the rush, the absolute creative control over my identity and the night. It was liberating, for a time.

Eventually though, I’d get that new job and have to start winding down. Winter was on my doorstep and I’d just taken a job delivering medical specimens, medications, and equipment throughout northeastern colorado. I liked the job well enough… for the most part… at the time, but it was a ramshackle operation. There were never enough people to get the job done. I was always starting hours early and coming home hours late. I never knew when I’d have to be available to work or when I’d be able to sleep. And then the blizzards started to hit.

With the blizzards came other woes. People that I knew and loved fell into tragedies in depth, severity, and category that I’d never witnessed quite so up close before. Cancer, violence, addiction, senseless death. Yet there I was, every night, delivering stuff up and down I-25 through some of the absolute worst weather I’ve ever been directly exposed to in my life. Some nights were so bad that there were times that I relinquished the thought of returning home alive. Every night, I was face to face with death and every day, tragedy took its place. But I couldn’t ever truly look either of them in the eye.

This time completely ravaged me. I was consistently too tired to attend to any of the people in my life, regardless of their situation or condition. I walked around like a husk of the person that I’d built in the previous months.

At some point I recognized that I was just actively dying, living like this. I was withering away and reverting to some damaged, previous version of myself. I quit the job, thinking that I’d be able to start rebuilding. I didn’t realize it then, but I still had a long, long way to go.

Cont’d

[saad-squad]

AC Breaks down in Summer Heat

The heat can be unbearable. The air is sticky and humid, the sky is dark and gray, and when you step outside, you're suddenly hit by a blast of hot air that's so humid it feels like someone just poured a bucket of water over your head. You've just been introduced to the Nashville summer weather—and it's not kind.

One of the worst parts about this heat is that your air conditioning system is cranked up full blast to try and keep the temperature down in your house, but it's still not enough for you to be comfortable. Sure, you can retreat to the freezer-like atmosphere inside your home, but if you have kids or pets, there's no way they're willing to hang out in there. So what can you do?

At our Nashville HVAC company, we know how tough this summertime heat can be on your AC system. We also know that sometimes things might happen beyond your control—your AC might break down in the middle of a heat wave or something else could happen that makes it hard for your system to keep up with the muggy conditions outside. The absolute last thing you want to be doing in the middle of July is your AC repair service needs. If your air conditioning stops working, or if you notice it just isn't running as cool as usual, call Music City HVAC to find the problem and get it fixed as soon as possible. Here are some handy tips for keeping your air conditioner running smoothly all summer long:1.Get a yearly maintenance checkup from a professional like Music City HVAC. They can help you find any problems before they can lead to more serious issues.2.Keep your equipment clean. Dust and grime buildup can clog up the AC system, making it run less efficiently and costing you money on higher energy bills. Hire a professional like Music City HVAC to clean out your ductwork once a year or so.3.Use ceiling fans when it's in the lower 80s outside to circulate air around your home and keep yourself cool without having to turn on the AC. Ceiling fans can reduce your cooling costs by about 10 percent! It's always a good idea to turn off ceiling fans when it's below 55 degrees outside; otherwise you could end up with ice buildup on the blades that could harm someone or cause damage

[hakesbros]

New Homes For Sale In Albuquerque

Albuquerque is home to over 300 other visual arts, music, dance, literary, movie, ethnic, and craft organizations, museums, festivals and associations, and the state's capital Santa Fe is understood for being a serious arts city. One of the main artwork events within the state is the summertime New Mexico Arts and Crafts Fair, a nonprofit show completely for New Mexico artists and held yearly in Albuquerque since 1961. When driving alongside main roads in the new homes albuquerque newer sections of Albuquerque, one sees strip malls, signs, and cinderblock walls. The upside of this planning style is that neighborhoods are shielded from the worst of the noise and lights on the most important roads. The draw back is that it is nearly inconceivable to go anyplace with out driving. In 2020, the ethnic makeup of the town was forty nine.2% of the population being Hispanics or Latinos of any race.

With seven different actual property brokers, Absolute Real Estate helps people all over the Albuquerque Metro Area purchase and sell homes, in addition to spend money on actual estate and land. As for the reason for the move, Schlichte was able to own his own space again. As an avid real estate investor himself, proudly owning his personal building for his business is a must. Schlichte sold new homes albuquerque his possession curiosity in 661 Quantum Rd. in early 2022 however had to experience out a two-year lease together with his prior partners earlier than making his subsequent buy. To take benefit of their new space, Schlichte split the building into five suites. The Absolute Real Estate staff uses one suite and two others are presently being leased, one to a barber shop, and the opposite to a Reiki practitioner.

The choices are topic to errors, omissions, adjustments, including price, or withdrawal with out notice. Still, the city’s very low stock of existing houses available on the market and rising home prices have prompted several developers to take discover. Buying new also allows the house buyer to customise their home according new home builders in albuquerque to their personal tastes. Some of the optional finishes to select from embody hardwood flooring, en-suite bogs, granite counter tops, and updated stainless-steel home equipment. Custom luxurious homes have even more high-end options available together with marble flooring, wine cellars, resort-style swimming pools, and multi-car garages.

New homes also save you money and are extra inexpensive in the long term. Houses are more power environment friendly than they have been prior to now. In a hot desert local weather like in New Mexico, correct insulation and ventilation are very important within the hot summer season and funky winter months. The average home buyer can save lots of on heating and cooling costs alone, and are additionally decreasing their carbon footprint on the same time. There are so many benefits to buying new as opposed to a resale home. Advances in building methods, improved supplies, and trendy custom finishes means you're paying that rather more consideration in the quality and craftsmanship of your home.

Non-Hispanic white accounted for 38.3% of the racial make-up of town. Spring is windy, typically unsettled with rain, though spring is usually the driest part of the 12 months in Albuquerque. Late March and April are inclined new home builders in albuquerque to experience many days with the wind blowing at 20 to 30 mph (32 to 48 km/h), and afternoon gusts can produce periods of blowing sand and dirt.

[izzy-b-hands]

Snowed In On The Moon

Hadn’t written a fic for the free space on my DL server Bingo Card...and I’m struggling to get myself out of this depression hole and write again, so maybe this little thing will do it. 

Synopsis: Set during the 1976 A Night At The Opera USA Tour. Round the dates in the Midwest in February.  The boys are snowed in at a shitty motel, and that isn’t the worst thing ever, but isn’t it though? 

My love to all who read/like/reblog.

“There are worse places we could be stuck,” Brian reminds Roger. 

Roger grumbles, and glares out the window of the motel at the quickly, thickly falling snow. “Really? Name them for me.” 

Brian chuckles, watching as Roger turns from the window and drops onto the other bed.

“I wasn’t fucking joking,” Roger scoffs. “Are you going to name them, or not?” 

“You’re in a lovely mood, aren’t you?” 

Roger lets out something that sounds like a growl. 

“Alright, I will. Under the ocean-” 

“Don’t be ridiculous! I thought you meant places we could actually be.” 

Brian nods. “If we were in a submarine, we could be stuck there.” 

Roger sighs and drapes a hand over his eyes as he lays on his back on the bed, still wrapped in his fur coat, a leftover from the clothing stall he and Freddie used to run. 

“Fine. Sure. Us, and our fucking yellow submarine. Where else would be worse than the American Midwest in a blizzard, then?” 

Brian ponders for a moment. “The moon, if we didn’t have the right equipment.” 

“Someone has some awfully big dreams,” Roger smirks. “Going to be the first man to do a fifteen minute guitar solo on the moon, Bri?” 

“Only if you’re up there to do the first twenty minute drum solo.” 

Brian dodges the pillow Roger tosses with a shout. “Don’t! We’ve no idea where those have been, if they’ve been cleaned...” 

“People clean in America,” Roger laughs, then hesitates. “I mean, they must.” 

They both pause the conversation long enough to create a ‘blanket’ over their beds made up of clothes too dirty to be worn again (that will be cleaned, eventually. When they find a laundromat, they swear.) 

Roger shivers as they settle back onto their beds. “Never worried about bed bugs until right this moment, you know? And whatever else Americans have in their beds.” 

“You presume they have different insects here?” 

“At least some,” Roger replies. “You don’t feel all...I don’t know, like your skin is crawling, sitting here?” 

Brian nods. “A bit. But where else are we going to go?” 

Outside, the wind howls, and flakes seem to smack the glass of the window, as if upset to be falling. 

“You’re the one with a list of worse places we could be,” Roger shrugs. “Make up a list of better places, and let’s go to one of those.” 

“Home?” 

“Not bad,” Roger remarks, wincing at a stain on the shirt he’s using as a pillow. “But somewhere exciting would be nice.” 

“Home can be exciting!” 

“Yeah, but you know I didn’t mean home,” Roger says. 

Brian sighs. “Unfortunately, Rog, I can’t get us much further away from here. For a few reasons, but you know that.” 

“I know,” Roger murmurs. “Still like hearing you talk about us being elsewhere though.” 

“Even if it’s the moon, or under the ocean?” 

A balled up shirt is the projectile this time, but that Brian bats away with a practiced hand. 

“There is somewhere we could go,” Brian offers. “But it’s not going to be fun.” 

“Ooh, really sell it to me,” Roger grins and bounces up off of his bed. “Where?” 

“There’s a vending machine outside near the front of the motel, and I have...I don’t actually know how much American money I have, I haven’t really counted it, but we could go get something sugary and disgusting...” 

“That’s outside,” Roger muses. “In the snow.” 

“Astute observation,” Brian giggles. “Do we dare attempt it?” 

“In a moment,” Roger says, and rifles through his bag of slightly-less-worn clothing. “Here.” 

“Oh, Rog...” Brian hesitantly takes the old fur coat from him. “You brought more than one...” 

“Case anyone else needed one, here in the frozen fucking tundra,” Roger says. “Might leave your wrists exposed, but we’ll get a decent portion of your torso covered, at least.” 

Outside, they’re both grateful for the furs, as the wind whips snow and ice into their faces, against any bare skin. Anything less thick than the furs leaves them feeling naked and shivering. 

It’s a slow walk, on incredibly icy concrete, to the front of the motel. 

“Can machines freeze, do you think?” Roger ponders as they go, occasionally pausing to hold one another up as they slip on the worst patches of ice. “In something like this?” 

“You mean you think we’ll get to it, and it’ll be so cold it won’t work?” 

“I’m just saying, my end goals here were to get out of the room, and to get something to eat that’s objectively terrible for me,” Roger replies, snagging Brian’s arm as he slips yet again. “You and those fucking clogs; they aren’t made for this weather!” 

“And yours are?” Brian laughs as Roger goes down onto his ass, sparkly pink Converse out from under him. 

A moment later he’s down too, grateful that at least it was a slow set of falls. Nothing bruised but their asses and their pride. 

“We should get up,” Brian prompts. The snow is cold under them, and he can feel it soaking into his trousers and curls. The fur, grotesque as it is, does an admittedly good job of keeping at least part of him dry and somewhat warm. 

“I don’t know,” Roger sighs. “What’s there to go back to? The room, or the vending machine, and what else? Nothing.” 

“Little dramatic,” Brian smiles. “I think there’s more than that, we just have to get through the night here.” 

“Oh!” Freddie nearly trips over them, skidding to an awkward halt on the ice, somehow staying upright. “Are you two alright?” 

“Afflicted by a need to be elsewhere, snacks, and the human condition,” Brian replies. “But otherwise, fine. You?” 

“Was going for food for myself and Deaky,” Freddie says slowly. “How long have you two been out here?” 

“Time isn’t real; who can say?” Roger mutters with all the emotion of an unsupervised theater major student in their first show, flopping sideways in the snow. 

“The watch on your wrist could,” Freddie remarks wryly. “Shall I help you up, or leave you both here to freeze until the spring thaw?” 

Brian takes the offered hand from Freddie, extending his own to Roger to create a chain, and in another moment, they’re standing again. 

“I can’t feel my face,” Roger mumbles. 

“Nor can I,” Freddie sighs. “What a lovely, absolutely horrible place this is, hm? People live here! All the time! By choice, even! Wild.” 

“What in the fuck is ta-” is all Deaky manages to get out before going ass over teakettle into the snow as he storms out of his and Freddie’s room. 

“Oh, Deaky,” Freddie tsks. “Let me help you, hang on.” 

Freddie seems to have the best approach to the ice, sliding across the biggest patches in his platforms as if it’s the only way to cross them. 

“What are you out here for?” Freddie asks as he helps John up. 

“Wanted to see what all the noise was about; why you were taking so long just to get snacks,” John says. “What are these two out for?” 

“Rude,” Roger scoffs. “Like we’ve been let out of prison or something.” 

“Is that not what you would call this place?” Brian muses.

Roger nods. “Fair point. Still, manners, Deaky.” 

“Manners,” John scoffs. “It’s fucking freezing out here, why are you lot standing around?” 

“Excellent question!” Freddie says. “I can’t feel my face, hands, or co-” 

“Fred,” Brian interrupts. “We may as well make it a group trip now.” 

So it is, with Freddie as the oddly unaffected by ice centering piece, helping to hold the rest up as the slip and stumble. 

“I fucking knew it,” Roger scoffs and slaps a cold hand on the vending machine, only to yank it away with a hiss. “Fucking metal burns to touch; what sort of fucking cold can do that?” 

The machine in question did have snacks in it, when they had arrived a day earlier. It was only two nights at the motel, then on to the next city. In that time, someone has: A. broken the glass of the machine, B. stolen all the food, and C. the storm has filled it up with snow and ice, it being out in the elements rather than in an actual building. 

There’s an unofficial moment of silence for their wasted trip, snow and ice coating hair and fur coats and leaving skin raw. 

“We should get back,” Brian finally sighs. 

“I’d like to try the moon instead,” Roger whimpers. 

“What?” Freddie and Deaky ask in one voice. 

The motel across from theirs isn’t visible any longer. Nor is the road, or most of the parking lot, for that matter. 

There’s a sinking feeling in Brian’s gut that they won’t be leaving tomorrow. 

“Me too, Rog,” he mutters. “Me too.” 

Instead, they shuffle back to their rooms, bidding Freddie and Deaky good-bye, only to join them an hour later when the heat in their room ceases to work (not that it’s working in Freddie and Deaky’s room either, but they can accumulate more body heat with all four in one room.) 

Outside, the snow falls and flies and piles outside the door until there’s no leaving for anything, let alone a trip to the broken vending machine or the moon. 

[killscreencinema]

Death Stranding (PS4)

The first week of quarantine, I lost my job.  It wasn’t COVID related, more like “I hated my job and my employers finally realized it” related.  So it was actually really good timing that I began this game while unemployed, as virtually delivering packages to people made me at least feel like I still had a job! 

Death Stranding, released by Hideo Kojima’s new independent studio in 2019, is set in a bleak, post-Apocalyptic future where the world of the living and the dead have converged in a catastrophic event called, well, the “death stranding”.  Dangerous phantoms, called “BTs”, roam the countryside, dragging anyone unlucky enough to encounter them into their world.  The only person who can stand up to them is a porter named Sam Bridges (Norman Reedus), who has a unique condition called DOOMS which allows him to sense a BTs presence (who are otherwise invisible to the naked eye).  Paired with a child bred to act as a link between the living and dead, called a  Bridge Baby, or BB, Sam can even see a BT, making him the only candidate who can possibly bring the world back together by traveling the wastelands of the former United States, delivering packages and connecting the surviving human cities via something called the “chiral network”.

So it’s basically a fucked up, but better, version of that Kevin Costner movie The Postman.

Also, if it seems like my story summary took longer than usual, welcome to the world of Hideo Kojima!  I tried my best to explain the story in a brief synopsis, but I still didn’t even scratch the surface of it.  For example, I didn’t even mention how Mads Mikkelson intermittently drags Sam to a battlefield-like purgatory so he can steal his BB; or how Sam’s mysterious connection to the BTs makes his bodily fluids deadly to them, so you will often use weaponry made from his piss, blood, and shit to fight them; or how his primary objective is to rescue an enigmatic woman named Amelie, who may or may not be the daughter of the recently deceased President of the United States, from terrorists who want to use Amelie to bring about the extinction of humanity.

This game is bananas, ya’ll... but in the best way.

I started this game with extremely low expectations, as it had been critically lambasted by most of the major gaming sites and YouTubers.  From the previews of the game I watched, it just seemed.... weird.  I didn’t understand what the hell I was looking at - Norman Reedus with a pod baby strapped to his chest, and a strange flappy doodad on his shoulder, while walking on a tar beach strewn about with dead whales?  What the fuck, Hideo?  Visually alone the game was such a stark (and I mean *stark*) departure from the Metal Gear games, so when I found out the gameplay was delivering packages, I became convinced that Hideo Kojima had done lost his goddamn mind. 

Turns out... and this should hardly come as a surprise... the man is a goddamn genius.

Truly brilliant art always offends and bewilders the senses at first because your mind doesn’t know how to cope with what its experiencing.  Watch any given David Lynch movie and you’ll see what I mean.  The human mind has trouble processing totally new information that has no frame of reference in memory or cultural awareness, which is why “weird” art initially repulses before it gains a following (and many great artists die in poverty before they are recognized for their genius).  Imagine introducing a peasant from the Middle Ages to a helicopter - they’d think it looks absolutely ridiculous, so when you tell them it can fly, just IMAGINE their incredulity. 

Anyway, I think that is why initial impressions of Death Stranding were so negative - it was a lot to take in for a lot of gamers used to being spoon fed repackaged versions of the same games but with different titles.  Even things that seem at first “original” have recognizable gaming mechanics that ease the player in.  I mean a game set in the apocalypse where the core gameplay is centralized on package delivery???   There’s nothing like this!  So your reaction is either going to be “This is brilliant” or, like the medieval peasant, “this is ridiculous”.

Mind you, I’m not saying if you don’t like this game, you’re as stupid as a medieval peasant.

I get why people would hate this game - it’s very different than a lot of games out there.  Death Stranding is bold and audacious in its storytelling and its gameplay.  It takes a lot of risks that most AAA publishers (like Konami for example) would balk at, which is why Kojima had to create his own company to make it.

The gameplay seems simplistic at first - deliver packages from point A to point B.  However, it’s a little more complicated than that.  For one, the key element of the game is item management and learning not to bite off more than you can chew.  Sam can only carry so many boxes, and the more you stack on top of him, the more difficult the journey will be, especially when crossing BT territory or bandits (called MULES) nipping at your heels.  You also have to take into account the rocky terrain, river crossings, and weather (oh, did I mention that rain in this game, referred to as “Time Fall”, can rapidly age items and people?).  The game is all about carefully choosing equipment you’ll think you will need, whether it be weapons, ladders (for climbing large cliff faces or crossing deep rivers or chasms), sprays for repairing damage to packages, or even a spare pair of boots in case the shoes you’re wearing wear out.  So to say that the game is “just delivering packages” greatly diminishes some of the nuance going on here.  Yes, there are lots of long stretches of just walking across a landscape to some of the most melancholy music ever assembled on a soundtrack, but I’d argue that having patience for those moments is part of the gameplay. 

The game can be frustrating, such as when Sam refuses to climb a ledge you KNOW is climbable, so he just trips and falls over instead.  The vehicles that you eventually unlock are some of the most goddamn frustrating vehicles in video game history.  At first, I figured it was because I would eventually unlock better modes of conveyance more adequately adapted to crossing rough terrain, but no - they all drive like shit.  Just getting the truck to drive up a hill without spinning out and rolling backwards can fray on one’s nerves.  It’s hard to discern how much of it is the vehicle and how much might be poor controls.

The story, as alluded to above, is ambitious at best and pretentiously bloated at worst.  However, if you’ve played any of the Metal Gear games, you know what you’re signing up for when it comes to high concept, over-indulgent story.  I would say that for the most part, Death Stranding’s story is coherent enough to enjoy, although there are long expository cut scenes that convolute the plot more than clear it up.  Fortunately, the characters are well developed enough, and are interesting enough, to keep you invested (a storytelling skill that is perhaps Kojima’s saving grace).  Also, the more dramatic beats of the story are impactful enough to still resonate, even if you’re not entirely sure what the fuck is going on.  It helps to have talent like Norman Reedus, Mads Mikkelson, and Lea Seydoux in the cast, whose performances bring the characters to life.  Sam in particular might have been an insufferable loner, were it not for Reedus’ gruff likeability that made him famous from Walking Dead. 

If you’ve avoided this game because, like me, you were convinced by bad reviews that it sucks, I would highly suggest that you reconsider.  It may not be as fun, or compelling, as a Metal Gear Solid game, but it’s an interesting departure and one worth experiencing.

[toxoiddiamond]

T H E B A S I C S Given Name: Joel Porter Nycroft Nicknames: No nicknames, but he goes by the name Joel Winters professionally. Age: 40 Birthday: May 25th Zodiac Sign: Gemini Birthplace: Liverpool, England Current Location: He is constantly touring, but he has two homes– one just outside of London, and one in LA. His London-ish (as he calls it) home is where he spends his time off, and his LA home (which is a condo) is where he lives while the band works on recording new albums, since that is where their current label is based. Speaks: English and French (not fluently, but decently well). Dominant Hand: Ambidextrous Education: High school dropout, never bothered to get his GED or anything since he never really needed to. No college education, obviously. He is very smart though, and reasonably well-educated. Occupation: Lead singer and guitarist of internationally famous band No Rest for the Londoners, often shortened to simply The Londoners. Vehicle: It’s been a very long time since he’s had to drive himself anywhere– and that’s probably for the best, given the fact that he is under the influence more often than not. He has drivers that take him anywhere he needs to go, or, if the place is within walking distance, he’ll just walk over. Worldly Possessions: Though he’s quite wealthy, he doesn’t live too ostentatiously. He does tend to buy expensive/high quality things that will last him a long time, especially if it’s an instrument or anything to do with music, but he doesn’t spend excessively. He has some artwork on his walls that he splurged on, a shelf for his various awards (which he keeps hidden in a closet in his home studio because he feels weird having them out on display for all to see), nice (but not ridiculously expensive) clothes and bedding and such, furniture he had custom made by a local carpenter, etc. Then he has all his instruments and music equipment, which make up the majority of his possessions. Pet(s): He can barely take care of himself, so he has never even considered owning a pet, but he does like animals a lot. In the future, once he has his shit together, he would be totally open to having pets.

A P P E A R A N C E Height: 6’0” Hair: Dark with a few flecks of grey. Long-ish and usually a bit of a mess unless he’s going somewhere fancy, in which case he will slick it back. Facial Hair: He usually keeps his beard quite full. He trims it now and then, but it’s rare for him to actually shave it all off. Eye Colour: Brown Skin Tone: He doesn’t spend a lot of time outdoors, so he’s pasty. Clothing: For the most part, he looks pulled together– jeans and t-shirts, the occasional cardigan, peacoats in colder weather, classic black suits when he attends special events. He doesn’t exactly dress like a “rock star” and has never cared to try and be edgy or fit a certain persona. Distinguishing Marks: Faded track marks on both his arms from his past heroin abuse– he makes no effort to hide or cover them, since he figures everyone knows about his drug problem anyway. Face Claim: Jim Sturgess

H E A L T H Physical Health: It could be better. What with the fact that he’s constantly high or drunk (or both), his health is not great. He is constantly exhausted, often feels sick, has a weak immune system, and is pretty much just a mess. There’s been more than one occasion throughout his career when he’s passed out from sheer exhaustion, or had to reschedule shows due to illness (though he considers that a last resort). Physical Abilities/Limitations: Joel is an extremely talented musician. On top of the fact that he has a lovely singing voice, he can play guitar, piano, drums, and bass. He can’t read music at all, but has a knack for playing by ear, which drives the rest of his band absolutely nuts because anytime they try to ask Joel what key he’s singing/playing in, he just shrugs. Addictions: It would be faster to list the things he’s not addicted to. But mainly, he’s addicted to alcohol and cocaine. He used to have a serious heroin addiction, but hasn’t touched heroin since his late twenties. He also abuses Xanax, though he doesn’t realize that’s what he’s doing– he figures that since his doctor prescribed it, it’s fine to use it on a regular basis, but it’s really doing more harm than good. Allergies: None Mental Health: Terrible. Like, catastrophically bad. Joel is pretty much always on the verge of a mental breakdown– he has had several over the past few years, but has not gotten the help he so desperately needs in order to get his mental health back in order. He has gone to rehab many times, but wasn’t really given much help in the mental health department; he was just told he needed to relax and that once he was off the drugs he would feel much better. Turned out that wasn’t true, so he has always gone back to the drugs after leaving rehab. He is constantly considering suicide, and has attempted it twice; once when he was fourteen, and once when he was thirty-two. The second attempt was passed off as an accidental drug overdose to the media, though it was not accidental at all.

H I S T O R Y Summary: Joel was born and raised in Liverpool. His father left when he was just a baby, so Joel never knew him. Unfortunately, his mother was neglectful and uncaring– she was addicted to drugs and ran with a bad crowd, and her only real concern was where her next fix would come from. Joel was often left with neighbors or other family members for long periods of time before his mother would remember to come and get him. More than once, authorities were alerted to the fact that Joel’s mother was not taking care of him, but nothing ever really came of it. From an early age, Joel was interested in music, and began teaching himself to play guitar when he was ten years old. He always had a knack for playing by ear, so he never bothered to learn to read music. He spent a lot of time in a local music shop playing around with various instruments, and the staff let him hang around since he didn’t bother anyone and they kind of felt sorry for him. It was there that Joel taught himself to play both piano and bass. At the age of 14, Joel was pressured by some of his mom’s friends into getting high with them. Although Joel didn’t want to, he was made to feel that saying no wasn’t an option, so he did heroin with them. He doesn’t remember much of what happened that night– just that he went with them somewhere, Joel was absolutely scared out of his mind, and then he woke up the next morning on a park bench. From then on, Joel began to get high regularly, and did favors for his mom’s “friends,” mostly running drugs and bringing back money. It was around this time that he attempted suicide by purposely overdosing, but he woke up the next morning– still in his bedroom, intensely sick and much worse for wear, but alive. Joel dropped out of high school at 16– he would have failed his classes anyway since he’d been skipping school so much and his grades had plummeted. At 17, his friend Michael invited him to London– Michael was moving there and saw an opportunity to get Joel away from all the bad influences in his life. They moved in with Michael’s aunt for a while, and Joel took a job in a record shop to save up money. Eventually they struck out on their own and decided to put a band together, something they had talked about for years. After finding the perfect band members (something they still insist was fate), they began writing songs and recorded an EP in Joel and Michael’s basement. After playing a few local shows, word of mouth begin to spread, and before they knew it, they were approached by a manager offering them a contract with a major label. They took the deal, and the rest is history. Job History: His first “job” was as an errand boy for a shady group of drug dealers. He then worked in a record store for almost three years, and during that time, helped form the band and started playing the occasional show. Obviously that worked out because he is a very famous, successful musician now. Fondest Memories: His first rock concert when he was ten years old. Running away from Liverpool– he’ll never forget the feeling of freedom as they drove past the city limits. Performing in small venues and getting such an unexpectedly good response. And, of course, the first time they ever performed in a sold-out arena; the first time he heard the audience singing his own lyrics back at him, Joel almost cried. Worst Experiences: The majority of his childhood. And… a lot of his adulthood, actually.

C O M M U N I C A T I O N Speech Pace/Style: Though Joel can be very charming, he’s not exactly smooth. He’s kind of a dork, and most of his charm comes from the fact that people find it endearing how weird and awkward he can be. Depending on whatever drugs are in his system, he can either talk a mile a minute, or he might speak slowly, possibly slurring his words (though the slurring isn’t always noticeable with his accent). Accent: Very, very English with a distinctive Scouse accent. When he speaks, there is absolutely no doubt about where he’s from. Favorite Phrases or Words: He uses a lot of typical Scouse slang, such as “made up” for “happy,” or “cob on” for “bad mood.” His bandmates tease him about his weird accent/dialect all the time, though it’s all in good fun, of course. Usual Curse Words: Fuck, and any of its derivatives.

P E R S O N A L I T Y, M I N D S E T, A N D B E L I E F S Personality Type: ENFP-T Sense of Humor: Joel is charismatic and funny– he loves to make people laugh and can be quite a goofball when the mood strikes him. He often uses humor as a way to deflect or distract from his issues, so a lot of people who don’t know him well are surprised to find out that he’s as depressed as he is. When it comes to entertaining people, he will do just about anything to get a laugh, as long as it’s not offensive in some way– self-deprecating humor is his go-to, though. Habits: He tends to fidget a lot– wringing his hands, scratching at his arms, bouncing his leg when he’s sitting, especially during interviews or before a performance. Fears/Phobias: His biggest fear is ending up alone. He doesn’t even like being alone in his house, so the idea of being abandoned or rejected by the people he cares about is what really scares him. Loneliness is his worst enemy, and honestly, anytime when Joel is left alone with his own thoughts is just not going to end well. Strengths: Joel is a creative, kind, and thoughtful person who genuinely likes being around others and getting to know them. He loves doing nice things for people, making people laugh, and is charismatic as hell. People seem to naturally flock to him and enjoy his company– he’s kind of the life of the party. Joel always does his best to be kind to his fans as well, especially kids, and would never deny anyone a picture or autograph, even if he secretly would rather be doing anything else. Flaws: As lovely as Joel can be, when he’s deep under the influence of drugs, it’s like he’s a completely different person. Selfish, combative, and a chronic liar. When he starts spiralling into depression, it’s impossible for him to pull himself out of that tailspin, and that is how he’s ended up in this vicious cycle of getting depressed, doing drugs, getting more depressed, drinking the pain away, getting even more depressed, etc, etc. Hopes/Desires: He really, really wants to get clean and sober, but doesn’t know if it’s really possible for him. He hates that he’s so reliant on drugs and alcohol to even get through the day, but he’s felt so awful and depressed (more than usual) every time he’s gotten clean that he doesn’t see how he can live like that. Self-Esteem: It could not possibly be any lower. Joel considers himself to be a burden on everyone he knows and pretty much thinks he’s a waste of space. It would only take the tiniest nudge for him to attempt suicide (again). Religion: He doesn’t believe in any kind of god or higher power. In fact, he really hopes there isn’t any such thing, because he’s pretty sure that if there is a god or any kind of afterlife, he won’t end up going anywhere pleasant when he dies.

R A N D O M Sleeping Position: Curled up in a ball on his side. Boxers or Briefs?: Boxers Day or Night?: He doesn’t have a preference– it really just depends on whether he has something to do or not. Top or Bottom?: He can go either way. Partying or Relaxing?: Usually partying, unless he has someone to relax with.

R E L A T I O N S H I P S Closest Friend: He is close to all of his bandmates: Michael (Joe Anderson), Dawn (Sofia Boutella), Holly (Devon Aoki), and their newest/youngest bandmate who replaced their former rhythm guitarist, Ryan (Justin Nozuka). Out of all of them, he is definitely closest with Michael since they grew up together. Relationship History: Not a lot of long-term relationships. He briefly dated Dawn back when they first met, before the band blew up, but they quickly decided they weren’t compatible. He has dated around a bit, some men and some women, mostly people who are also in the public eye (actors, models, musicians, etc), but none of those relationships lasted longer than a few months. Sexual Partners: A lot. He was definitely promiscuous when he was younger, lots of flings and one-night stands. As he got older, he lost interest in having a new partner every night and started getting into more actual relationships, though none of them lasted longer than a year. Thoughts About Sex: He enjoys it. He especially enjoys it when his partner doesn’t leave immediately afterward. Joel really likes to cuddle after sex, so it’s always disappointing to him when it turns out his partner isn’t interested in cuddling.

P A R E N T S Name(s): Donna Nycroft Age(s): She died at the age of 57 Social Standing: Not good. She was widely known to be an addict, and ran with a shady crowd to help fuel her addiction. Occupation(s): Drug dealer, occasionally traded sex for drugs or money, occasionally took part-time jobs if she was really desperate, though she could never hold down a legitimate job for very long. Religion: Nope. Quality of Relationship With His Children: Horrible. She never cared much for Joel, and only kept him because she got child support money from his father every month. She paid as little attention to him as possible and didn’t care at all what he did or where he went. When he first got famous, she tried to sell her “story” to a bunch of tabloids and started trashing him in the media, but the drama died down quickly because Joel refused to address anything she said and pretended he didn’t know who she was. Joel was honestly not sad at all when he got the news about her death. He pretty much said “oh… okay” and moved on immediately. Living/Deceased: Dead

D A I L Y L I F E Living Arrangements: Joel has two homes– one moderately large home on the outskirts of London, and a condo in LA. His London home is a bit secluded and private, and is where he likes to go during his off times, as he can escape the press for the most part. His band mates will often come and stay with him as well, partly because they don’t want him to be alone, and partly because they all have a great time together, especially when there’s not the pressure of recording or a tour. His LA home is where he lives while they work on recording, since their label is based in LA. The house in London is fairly large, but not a mansion by any means– it has four bedrooms, one of which Joel has converted into a music studio where he can practice, write songs, mess around with instruments, etc. Two bedrooms are currently guest rooms, and then there is the master bedroom, of course. The place is decorated with custom furniture Joel had designed and made by a local carpenter, and it is all very nice-looking and comfortable. His condo is decorated in a very minimalist, functional way, which suits Joel just fine. Lots of open space and windows, furniture with clean, modern lines, a few splashes of color here and there, and not much else.

[alternis-dim]

If someone wanted to get into persona, what is the best game to start with?

to be honest, Persona is kind of nice in that it doesn’t matter a whole lot where you start, since each game is a relatively self-contained story which only has brief mentions or cameos of previous entries! some elements of the lore make more sense if you play certain games before others, but it isn’t anything drastic enough to impact your enjoyment. Hell, I started with Persona 5 and was just fine. So I guess I can just sorta talk about the pros and cons of each game as an entry point to the series! I can also briefly describe their premises in case a particular one seems more interesting, which could help someone with deciding where to start.

this is gonna be long, so I’ll put it under a read more.

Persona 1/Revelations: Persona is the only game I wouldn’t recommend playing first. Its mechanics are pretty outdated and not reflective of the rest of the series, and it’s relatively short compared to the others as well. Not to say that it’s not worth ever playing! In fact, from my understanding it has wonderful characterization, an engaging plot, and lays important groundwork for the franchise’s worldbuilding. I just wouldn’t recommend it for getting a taste of what the series is like.

Persona 2: Innocent Sin is the first of the dual entries for the Persona 2 duology. It has some of the same cons I mentioned for the first game; it’s relatively old, so its mechanics are a little outdated, and it plays more similarly to an SMT game than the future Persona entries do (for example, the story is fairly linear and occurs over the course of a few days, whereas later entries are strung out over a year). It is a little more refined, though, and the formula is starting to get there. It also has, in my opinion, some of the best character writing in the series.

P2IS is a story about how strange occurrences are brewing in the city of Sumaru because of a phenomenon where rumors actually influence and/or become reality. A group of high schoolers get tangled up with a mysterious man named Joker, who can supposedly grant wishes and, for some reason, seems to hold a very personal grudge against them. They discover their ability to call upon Personas to defend themselves from the demons at his command, and soon end up teaming up with journalist Maya Amano to get to the bottom of Joker’s identity and the source of the rumors which are warping the city. Over the course of their journey, they slowly start to piece together their past in order to figure out why Joker seems so invested in them.

Pros: - Stellar character writing- An intriguing, interconnected plot which is a bit of a rollercoaster but a lot of fun- Lays the groundwork for lore in the Persona series (most importantly the existence of Philemon and Nyarlathotep, as well as the origin of the Velvet Room)- Incredibly mature takes on the impact of trauma and familial abuse (TW for both of those things though)- Canonically bisexual protagonist with a potential same sex dating optionCons:- Unavoidable random encounters and really grind-heavy, as most 90′s jrpgs go- Outdated mechanics that aren’t really reflective of future Persona entries- One of those wiki-heavy games: it’s damn near impossible to unlock certain character interactions or personas without use of a guide- The second game in the Duology, Eternal Punishment, isn’t nearly as accessible to English audiences

Persona 3 is where a lot of the series formula originates from! It’s also my personal favorite, but I’ll try my best to be unbiased describing it. Small note: I recommend playing Persona 3 FES specifically, since it refines a lot of the things that were clunky in the vanilla version, adds more character content, and features a post-game which answers a lot of questions.

P3 takes place in a coastal city called Iwatodai at the beginning of the school year, where the protagonist moves in as a transfer student after being bounced around in foster care for ten years following an accident which killed his parents. Upon arrival, he experiences the strange phenomenon of the Dark Hour: an extra 25th hour in the day where people are transformed into coffins and monsters roam free. Technology doesn’t work during this hour, and anyone not protected by a coffin is violently attacked and seems soulless the next day, a condition local news dubs Apathy Syndrome. A select few people have the potential to stay conscious during the Dark Hour and protect themselves by use of a Persona, and these people make up a unit called the Specialized Extracurricular Execution Squad (S.E.E.S.). The protagonist joins, and the game follows their investigation of the phenomenon. It’s considered the darkest entry in the series, and for good reason: “memento mori” is right in its introduction. The game focuses heavily on themes of death, what it means to be mortal, how people deal with being confronted with their mortality, what the point of life is, and much more. 

Pros:- Introduction of the Persona formula: school life and dungeon exploration which requires time management on a linear calendar, the knockdown/1-more feature in combat, all-out-attacks, social links. Starting with this game may actually be the best way to go gameplay-wise, since coming back to this game after playing later entries makes it seem clunky.- Dungeon-crawl style of gameplay, which is a lot nicer than random encounters. You explore randomly generated floors and choose when and where to ambush enemies.- Excellent character arcs which enrich the game’s narrative- A dark, mature, and interesting story which explores human natureCons:- Still an older game, so some controls are clunky. One game mechanic in particular that many are frustrated with is the inability to directly choose what moves your teammates will use, instead requiring you to use Tactics to direct how the AI should behave.- Probably has the worst pacing issues out of any game in the series. There’s an entire calendar month where you do basically nothing.- The post-game is grind-heavy and long for the amount of story it offers. Some people just recommend watching a playthrough.- Features an uncomfortable transphobic skit towards the middle of the game.

Persona 4 is a refinement of many of the features of Persona 3. The best version to play is Persona 4 Golden, since it has a lot of extra content, but it’s vita exclusive and I’m stuck with vanilla :( Vanilla’s still fine in my experience, at least!

P4 takes place in the small town of Inaba, where the protagonist has transferred for a year to live with his uncle and cousin due to his parents leaving the country for work. Shortly after his arrival, a bizarre series of serial murderers start to occur where the bodies are found strung up on telephone lines. There’s also a rumor that looking into a turned off television screen on a rainy midnight will reveal your soulmate; this rumor is referred to as the Midnight Channel. The protagonists and friends inadvertently discover a parallel world which exists alongside Inaba, which can be entered through televisions but which can’t be exited without the help of a mysterious denizen named Teddie. They discover that these worlds are linked; people who show up on the Midnight Channel turn up dead in the real world shortly after, and the weather is inverse to Inaba’s. They discover that this is because someone is throwing people into this world, who are then unable to escape, and that the Shadows living in it become violent when the fog lifts (inverse to when the fog settles in the real world). This world also has an interesting quirk: people who enter it end up confronting their own shadow, which is a manifestation of the parts of themselves they repress or deny. Denying your shadow leads to it attempting to kill you, and this is likely what caused the deaths of the first victims. The protagonist and team discover that confronting and accepting your own Shadow, however, turns it into a Persona which you can then use to combat the monsters in the world. Equipped with their unique knowledge, the team sets out to save victims, solve the murder mystery, and learn how to accept themselves.

Pros:- A powerful message about the importance of seeking the truth and accepting all facets of yourself- An absolutely incredible murder mystery with clever plot twists and high stakes: getting the true ending is actually difficult if you don’t know who the murderer is, and you’re expected to understand the themes of the game and the characters in order to get it.- A nice in-between for the mechanics of P3 and P5: it’s pretty easy to transfer to either one after playing this one. (also introduces the ability to control party members directly, thank god)- A TON of spinoff content if you find you enjoy the characters and setting- Probably one of the best games in terms of understanding the overarching lore of the series, since it explains how Personas and Shadows work in much more depth than other entriesCons:- Has sort of a wonky difficulty curve. The first couple dungeons are honestly kind of a pain in the ass because of how level scaling works, and it takes a little while to level out.- The character arcs aren’t quite as well-written as previous games, due to the ultimate personas being associated with social link completion rather than events in the plot.- Oh god, such clumsy handling of LGBT topics. Plays around the idea of a gay narrative for one character (Kanji) and a trans narrative for another (Naoto) but ultimately just ends up playing up stereotypes and then backing out before doing anything “risky.” Another character in the party is pretty homophobic to Kanji for a while too, which sucks.

Persona 5 is the most popular in the series for sure, and for good reason. It’s the complete culmination of the Persona formula, and it adds all sorts of stuff to the gameplay and lore. It has a pretty lovable cast, to boot. Not that it doesn’t also have its problems, imo.

P5 features a protagonist who was falsely convicted of assault after attempting to defend a woman from a drunk man harassing her. His criminal record and probation result in his expulsion from his home school, so he moves in with a family friend in Tokyo where a school will accept him until his time’s up. Tokyo’s been strange for a little while now. Mysterious incidents have been causing disruptions for a while. There’s been a surge of “psychotic breakdown incidents” in which people act out unpredictably for seemingly no reason, and on rarer occasions “mental shutdowns” where people seem to completely break and die shortly after. The protagonist and friends get tied up in nonsense pretty quickly when a mysterious app on his phone transports him to a parallel world in which real locations of Tokyo are warped beyond recognition. The protagonist discovers the power of persona pretty early on, which he uses to fight the enemies there. With the help of a strange creature named Morgana, they learn that this is the “Metaverse”, a space in which the twisted desires and perceptions of people are made manifest. It’s a space where a person’s Shadow lords over a “Palace”, an altered version of real-world locations which reflects how that person views the world around them. They also learn that personas are the result of having a strong, rebellious will, allowing you to control your Shadow in combat. By breaking into a Palace, defeating the Shadow, and stealing the “Treasure” at its core, the Palace will crumble and the person in real life will come to grips with the morality of their actions, effectively outing themselves. This is referred to as stealing hearts, and the Phantom Thieves are born; they quickly become infamous in Tokyo, though their reputation attracts unwanted attention, as well as blame… could those breakdown incidents be related to the Metaverse, too? This game focuses heavily on the corruption of society, the abuse and manipulation of people in power, the ways in which our circumstances force us to hide parts of ourselves, ideas of justice, and all sorts of fun ideas of “rebellion”.

Pros:- ABSOLUTELY the best gameplay in the series. The controls are smooth, the battles and UI are streamlined, the visuals are absolutely stunning. This is the one that’s most fun to actually PLAY, bar none.- More of a stealth/heist game than a dungeon crawler, which is a fun spin on the series.- Excellent social commentary on the injustices young people face in a system stacked against them.- A really lovable cast of characters, and social links which actually grant you access to helpful gameplay features as incentive. Cons:- Sort of a small thing, but one of the game’s twists is a lot more fun to figure out if you’ve already played at least one other entry in the series.- Has some serious writing issues. The game has a very strong first half, but then starts to feel rushed the further along you get after a certain point. You can tell that the developers wanted to fit in a lot, but didn’t quite have the time to refine the ideas they implemented.- On that note, some of the character writing starts to regress or even becomes contradictory.- Has a couple instances of homophobia surrounding the Red Light District.

This got long, sorry, but I hope it’s helpful! like I said, you really can start anywhere, and you don’t have to play them in a particular order. Just pick the ones that seem the most interesting and have fun!

[purplesurveys]

910

At your part of the world, is it summer now?           I think the dry season is over (what we call summer) but it can still get pretty hot during the day, blech. At least it’s starting to get comfortably cold in the evening though - weather’s actually been good enough for me to wrap myself in a blanket through the night :)

What’s the warmest it can get over there? How about the coldest?         Our temperature range isn’t that dramatic. Warmest can be 40ºC, 41ºC; coldest it can ever get is like 25ºC, 26ºC. We go to elevated cities like Tagaytay or Baguio if we’re craving for a much colder climate.

Is there a bad habit you’re trying to break right now? Mmm I guess falling into anxiety and overthinking. I’m the person who gives the most pressure onto myself and I always think that I am not good enough or that my present accomplishments aren’t enough; and that blows my confidence by a lot. At the same time I’m really the only person who can pull myself out of a slump, so it’s just an ugly cycle with me.

Is it easy to find a job in your preferred field in your hometown?           No, I wouldn’t say this city is the go-to for media and public relations. Metro Manila is... but then again, Metro Manila is the place for nearly every industry, including my preferred one.

When is the last time you went to a fun fair? End of January. My old school holds an annual fair on that month and they were able to hold one before the whole Covid mess blew up.

How about an amusement park?             My parents brought us to Star City for no reason (we weren’t an amusement park-going family so it was definitely strange for them to just drive us there unannounced lol) like a decade ago, but it was closed. I don’t think they checked their schedule.

Did you/will you take part in your city’s Pride parade this year?             My last Pride parade was in 2018. I didn’t go last year because I had been busy with internship; and there was a virtual parade held this year that I didn’t go to.

If not, why not?       I never liked virtual gatherings; they make me anxious. Plus I didn’t like the idea of celebrating and partying over a livestream haha

Ladies: Would you ever consider proposing? If not, why not? Gentlemen: How would you feel, if you were proposed to?     I prefer other people making decisions for me, especially if they’re that grand of a decision to make.

Have you ever played the original Mass Effect trilogy?           Never have.

If so, which Shepard and who do you like romancing the best?            

Let’s say there’s a person in need. They need money which they can’t make. Would you be more likely to help them out, if a celebrity asked you to?       Wow no, that sounds so selfish.

When you go to a restaurant, do you have a go-to dish? Yes, usually. I have dishes I will almost always order if I see them on a menu like Monte Cristo, truffle pasta, deep fried sushi with cream cheese, quattro formaggi pizza, fried chicken and waffles, etc. If none of my faves are available I try to pick something that’s similar.  

Or do you always try out something new?               I try out new things if I’m on vacation in a new city/province/country, for sure. That’s a non-negotiable for me in my travels. Like you’ll never see me ordering spaghetti in Bali, nor am I getting McDonald’s in Vigan.

Would you rather live next to a kindergarten or an old folks’ home?       Kindergarten. I like kids and don’t have a problem if they’re being loud. I don’t know if I can take being near an old folks’ home; it might just keep breaking my heart.

What was the last game that you played?   1010 on my phone.

What do you know about Finland?         The unbelievable competence and intelligence of Sanna Marin. Then again, maybe I’m just not used to smart politicians because of where I’m from and who we have as leaders here...

Where was the postcard from that travelled the longest way to you?     I’ve never received one.

Have you ever made jewelry? Probably made a few bracelets and trinkets as a kid, sure.

Have you ever upcycled anything? If so, what? I don’t think so. I remember my mom once tried to turn mine and my sister’s old school skirts into a bag but we quickly told her not to go through it with it because that’s not allowed and we’ll all get in hot shit because of it. Plus it’s pretty disrespectful to begin with, lol.

Which app do you use the most on your phone?     Messenger, Facebook, Twitter, Safari.

Did you learn to play an instrument as a kid? If so, which one?             Nope. I showed very early on that I wasn’t musically gifted.

What is the best part of your most ordinary day?   Playing and being sweet with my dogs.

If you learned that you suddenly needed an aid of some sort to do something that you normally don’t need (glasses, hearing aid, etc.) Would you comply or would you put it off until there was no choice anymore?         Comply. If I suddenly needed an aid, that would imply I’m already in some level of discomfort and I would want that fixed immediately.

Do you enjoy being on your own?         Yes, but it’s more accurate to say that I enjoy a balance of being on my own and being around people.

Or are you happier when there’s a crowd around you?           Again, it depends on what I need. If I’m already socially drained but still around a crowd, I can start to feel miserable and restless.

Have you ever been to a zoo? If so, which one(s)? I’ve been to a local zoo in one of our provinces (I no longer remember where) that I hated because some of the animals looked miserable. My school also has its own ~zoo~ and at least I know they’re taken care of there and also have lots of space to roam and fly around.

How about petting zoos?         No.

Have you thrown you “winter coat” off yet?             I don’t have one of those.

Do you ever look up what foreign idioms mean?     Only English idioms that are unfamiliar. I can’t understand other languages, so I wouldn’t know if I’m reading an idiom of theirs.

What’s the strangest saying you’ve come across? Cold turkey. As someone who doesn’t have English as a first language, that one confused me for a while. 

What’s a First World problem that you have?         I want to be able to go to the mall already.

Do you use food products that are advertised as more healthy?             No.

Does it matter to you if the produce you use is organic?         No. It’s a more expensive option, so it wouldn’t even be my first choice to begin with.

If so, why?               Most of the time it’s just an excuse to charge people more. < This, and also because I know very little about that world.

What has been the worst sort of physical pain that you have felt?         Ripping my earring off my piercing while in the shower; being shocked; food poisoning; and an infected gash on my foot after I panickedly kept kicking a coral reef when I thought I was drowning (I had gone snorkeling flipper-less because they didn’t have enough equipment on the boat).

Are your pains generally more acute or chronic?   Acute. Except for my back.

Do you collect anything?         Not really anymore.

If you could be doing absolutely anything right now, what would it be?   If I knew how to cook I’d be doing it all the time.

Do you read any web comics? I don’t.

Which social media platform do you use the most, if any?     Facebook. I’m starting to use Linkedin now, as well.

Have you ever made a parody version of a popular song?     No, I’m not the type to do that.

Which game did you play the most as a kid during recess? Dodgeball, ten-twenty, piko, patintero, and langit-lupa.

[pierrehardy]

COVID-19 x Poor Countries

This is a short post on the effects of the Covid-19 on poor countries. This is an essential focus because even though richer countries are being ravaged, historically, it is the poorest that gets the worst of it. Poor countries cannot whip out $2 trillion [1] like what the US did. As John Nkengasong said, the director of Africa CDC,  for poor countries, this is a “national security crisis first, an economic crisis second, and a health crisis third.”

I’ll keep it short and concise so you can get a clear picture quickly, but I’ll include sources at the end to serve as a reading list if you want.

First, I will enumerate the problems that the pandemic is causing in poor countries. Second, I will TRY to look at the “bright side” of things. Third, the possible solutions. And lastly, I’ll end with two examples of doing their part in taking this seriously. 

Problems

Poor people cannot social distance. It’s simply impossible if you live in the slums. [2]

Hand washing is a difficult habit to form if you live in a place with no running water. [3]

The poor cannot isolate themselves at home. These are people who live day to day, and without going out to work, they will not have food to eat. If the government forces them to stay at home, a riot is bound to happen. What the virus can’t kill, hunger will. [4]

Some countries, usually the better off, are becoming nationalists and shutting down their exports. The last thing a global pandemic needs is for global trade to get gummed up. [5][6]

The spread of fake news. Most notably, the two kinds: religious fake news and quack cures. For example, Tanzania’s president refuses to close down churches because he believes the virus is Satanic and cannot survive in a place of worship. [7] He is not alone in thinking this way. Another is the false information that garlic, ginger, and lemon can cure the virus. This is false and does nothing but drive up the prices for these goods. [8]

There has been a rise in xenophobia among countries as they start to attack foreigners and immigrants. [9]

There have been opportunistic autocratic wannabees that are taking advantage of this mess. They will use the virus as an excuse to ban political rallies, postpone elections, and increase the surveillance of its citizens. [10]

Several companies and businesses cannot survive this and would need credit to stay alive. [11] This can mean a lot of lost jobs. 

Lastly, which is the worst problem, is the fact that poor countries are, well, poor. The healthcare system of poor countries can barely function without a crisis, the pandemic makes it worse [12]. And for a quarantine to work in a poor country with a population that needs to work every day to feed their families, they require social safety nets in the form of food or allowance from the government. Similarly to businesses affected by this, they need a lifeline of credit from the government to stay alive.  In short, it is expensive, and poor countries can’t afford it. [13]

To make it worse, the sources of income of poor countries are taking a hit too. Many of these countries rely on tourism [14], which is obviously dwindling [15]. They count on commodities like raw materials and oil, whose prices are fallings. [16] (To clarify, the low price of oil is not primarily caused by the virus but by the price war that Saudi Arabia and Russia are having. [17] It is likely that this will last beyond this pandemic). Remittances can also get affected, as overseas workers can’t work too [18]. To top it off, foreign investors are fleeing from developing countries and into safer investments, aka richer countries [19]. This caused a depressing outcome of making credit cheaper in wealthier countries and more expensive to poorer countries. This pandemic is shaping up to be worse than the 2008 financial crisis.

Bright Sides (there is none, really)

Most poor countries have younger populations (only 5% of Africa is old while in Europe, it’s 24%). So if you’re morbid, you may find comfort in this. But not too much since most of the youth in poor countries are malnourished and don’t have a robust immune system. 

Most people in poor countries are in rural areas, where it is less dense and is better for social distancing. But again, a caveat is that it’s only a matter of time before the virus arrives in rural areas.  

Most poor countries are hot, and the infection spreads slower in warm countries. Then again, findings for this are inconclusive at worst, and the effects are modest at best. [20]

Nations hit with a health crisis tend to keep the excellent hygiene habits they were forced to form. 

Possible Solutions

The simplest one that is absolutely necessary is transparent information. That means no cover-ups, no downplaying, no arresting of people exposing unsavory news. [21]

There’s no going around it. The richer countries must help the poorer countries, either through credit or forgiving debt. [22] Three main motivations for rich countries: (1) Compassion, (2) if you leave the poor to deteriorate, the poor will inevitably reinfect you, and (3) whoever helps the poor now will dictate their allegiance in the future. The poor will remember who helped them. 

Positively, the rich world is doing just that. The IMF readied $1 trillion in aid. [23] The G20 pledged to inject $5 trillion to the world economy. [24] China has been active in giving assistance [25], and so is its richest man, Jack Ma, in donating testing kits, protective suits, and masks. [26] 

Positive Examples: Brazil and Africa

The president of Brazil does not take the Covid-19 seriously. Nonetheless, congressmen ignored the president’s downplaying of the virus and declared a state of calamity anyways. LGUs have locked down several cities and turned football stadiums into hospitals. Universities and private labs have dedicated their efforts to producing testing kits with private companies supplying the required materials for free. A brewery in Brazil has also started manufacturing hand sanitizer. Activists have been roving around with loudspeakers, telling people to stay in their homes. They have also proposed turning empty schools into quarantine centers and with renting mansions to house the elderly in a far off district. Even the gangs of organized criminals have imposed curfews in their territories and stopped selling drugs in open-air markets. They’re doing all of this while being heckled by their president, whose approval ratings have tanked as a result. [27]

In Africa, the governments’ actions were much swifter compared to Europe. Sierra Leone declared a state of emergency for the whole year, even before confirming a single infection. Uganda locked down schools even before being infected. South Africa locked the country down earlier than most European countries. They also immediately beefed up testing facilities. They now have 40 countries capable of testing, from only 2. This can all be attributed to Africa’s experience with epidemics (like Ebola). [28]

To summarize: basically, poor countries are especially vulnerable to the pandemic. They would likely require the assistance of wealthier nations to survive this and still have a livelihood afterward. Keep in mind the nine main problems we face so that we can form a more informed solution. Thanks for reading, I hope you learned something new today.

References

[1] https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/25/world/coronavirus-news-live.html 

[2]https://www.rediff.com/news/special/how-can-there-be-social-distancing-in-slums/20200324.htm 

[3] https://www.bbc.com/news/world-51929598 

[4] https://foreignpolicy.com/2020/03/28/social-distancing-is-a-privilege/ 

[5]https://www.politico.eu/article/coronavirus-eu-limit-exports-medical-equipment/ 

[6] http://www.xinhuanet.com/english/2020-03/25/c_138913230.htm 

[7]https://www.voanews.com/science-health/coronavirus-outbreak/tanzanian-president-criticized-refusing-close-places-worship 

[8]https://www.cnbc.com/2020/02/04/who-pushes-back-on-coronavirus-misinformation-and-bogus-cure-claims.html 

[9]https://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2020/03/coronavirus-covid19-xenophobia-racism/607816/ 

[10]https://www.wsj.com/articles/coronavirus-and-autocrats-never-let-pandemic-go-to-waste-11585400400 

[11]https://www.nytimes.com/2020/03/16/business/economy/coronavirus-business-credit-access.html 

[12] Personally visited the Philippine General Hospital in the past. 

[13]https://www.wsj.com/articles/coronavirus-is-advancing-on-poor-nations-and-the-prognosis-is-troubling-11585149183 

[14]http://www.bbc.com/travel/story/20130320-how-tourism-can-alleviate-poverty 

[15] https://www.unwto.org/tourism-covid-19-coronavirus 

[16] https://www.fastmarkets.com/commodities/coronavirus 

[17]https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2020-03-18/the-saudi-crown-prince-s-plan-to-win-the-global-oil-war 

[18]https://think.ing.com/snaps/philippines-remittance-growth-hits-4.1-in-2019/ 

[19]https://www.wsj.com/articles/emerging-markets-take-hit-as-investors-flee-for-safety-11584529200 

[20]https://edition.cnn.com/2020/03/12/asia/coronavirus-flu-weather-temperature-intl-hnk/index.html 

[21]https://www.euractiv.com/section/coronavirus/news/commitment-transparency-pay-off-as-south-korea-limits-covid-19-spread/ 

[22]https://www.ipsnews.net/2020/03/rich-countries-must-protect-developing-nations-coronavirus-pandemic/ 

[23]https://www.cnbc.com/2020/03/16/imf-says-its-ready-to-mobilize-its-1-trillion-lending-capacity-to-fight-coronavirus.html 

[24]https://economictimes.indiatimes.com/news/international/business/g20-leaders-pledge-usd-5-trillion-united-response-to-coronavirus-crisis/articleshow/74835666.cms 

[25] https://time.com/5812015/china-medical-aid-pakistan/ 

[26]https://edition.cnn.com/2020/03/16/africa/jack-ma-donate-masks-coronavirus-africa/index.html 

[27]https://www.economist.com/the-americas/2020/03/26/brazils-president-fiddles-as-a-pandemic-looms 

[28]

https://www.economist.com/middle-east-and-africa/2020/03/26/africa-is-woefully-ill-equipped-to-cope-with-covid-19

[thecultoftill]

A making of Deutschland report from an extra.

It was January, the weather was bad, I was driving somewhere by car and the phone rang. The screen showed: Albert Neumann P1945. With Albert, we've known each other for years and our groups, namely Die Freiwilligen  and Pomerania 1945, work quite closely together.

- Dietmar? I heard in the phone.

- Listen, I have a tip from a friend in Germany and there is a chance to play in a music video, the video is being shot in Berlin in two weeks for a well-known rock band from Germany... 8 people from your group are needed.

- Which band? - I can't tell you... -  C'mon Albert, just tell me, if it's a band beginning with "R"? - Don't tell anyone, nobody! Because I'll rip your head off and nothing will come out of it!  The rest will find out when they're on a bus. - We're going!

The rest of the events unfolded quickly, earlier plans, arrangements, holidays, family parties, etc. - everything ceased to have any meaning and was thrown out of our calendars. Six of us: Dietmar Kuptz, Rene Grzenkowicz, Szymon Poredo, Thomass Woerle, Tomasz Wylamowski and Arkadiusz Telak decided in a few seconds - we're going. From Pomerania 1945 present were Albert Neumann, Francesco Giacomelli, Jan Majewski, Szymon Szewczyk, Henryk Kaźmierczak and Bogumił Gierlotke.   First we travelled to Poznań, where it was confirmed that the music video was indeed for Rammstein. Then we travelled further, to the unforgettable Amadeus hotel in Berlin. We were taken by a bus arranged by the film crew.

I do not need to add that we were integrating with the only sounds appropriate for such a trip, and the most often repeated sentence was: "I wonder what the video will be about". We did not know what to take with us when it comes to the equipment, so we took everything. For some, it meant taking some large bags and suitcases full of uniforms and props out of the house.

On the set (first day the filming took place in the ruins of a monastery) we went early in the morning and quite quickly understood why filming is considered so exhausting: it means waiting, waiting and even more waiting. After many hours we finally got a message – dress up. Initially, we thought that we would play only German soldiers - we were prepared for that - but we learned quite quickly, that if we want, we can play completely different roles and characters. And here we experienced the first shock: it turned out, that the movie will include medieval monks, Polizei special forces, medieval knights, DDR era uniforms... That's all we saw, being on the set and changing costumes. The question remained, how (and if) the band puts it together in a sensible whole. We had various theories: maybe it will be a narcotic vision of someone who mentions the past, maybe deathbed memories of a passing life, thoughts and hallucinations of a dying soldier...

The black beauty was equally mysterious – first we saw her in the knight's armor, which in itself provoked questions. "Are we making a fantasy movie?" Our suitcases still contained German uniforms from the Second World War.

We worked until late night. In addition to the scenes in the old monastery (we played the role of monks), we also took part in scenes in a real, now closed prison in the center of Berlin (the role of rebellious prisoners). I must say that the prison scenes were quite exciting and they gave much joy at the same time. Thus, when we returned to the hotel in the morning, we were frozen and very tired - just like the members of the band, who were on set until the very end.

Next day in the morning we heard that men in SS uniforms are needed, we changed our clothes into the WW2 ones and marched on with the film crew to the military beat: Links! Links! Links! You would have to see Till Lindemann's face expression as he saw us marching in full uniforms... The set was located in an abandoned factory and here another comes another curiosity - those of us who knew the previous activity of the director of the video (Specter), knew he was the founder of  Aggro Berlin label, immediately recognized this characteristic place with the music videos of German rappers such as SIDO, FLER or B-TIGHT.

After a while, we experienced a real shock. In the middle of the square, where the movie set was located, there was a gallow with four nooses. When one of our colleagues saw that, he said out loud what everyone thought: "I've been in reconstruction for years, I've been on many re-enactment's but it was never THAT hardcore." At the time, while filming the hanging scenes, we did not know what role they would play in the whole video, but we knew one thing - nothing is simple and unambiguous in Rammstein's work.

We could be sure that this is a controversial provocation, which ultimate goal was to force the viewer to think about the scenes he had watched, but we still had no idea in which context the scenes that were so brutal and that showed the worst moments of German history would be used.

During the shooting of those scenes, we got a bit closer to the band - it was cold, so during the breaks and while warming hands at the fireplace, Till offered everyone... Absolut vodka. The fire - and the fiery water - bring people closer... This was also the case this time. Thanks to such small gestures, we will remember the work on the set as an amazing experience.

The members of the band behaved like ordinary people, they were even slightly annoyed by their harassing assistants. It turned out that the recordings will not end in the announced two days, and will be continued until late night. However, it was time for us to go home. The bus engine was warming up. Some of the colleagues, including the guys from Pomerania, stayed on the final recordings. They were shooting pictures of a big battle, on a huge battlefield, burning at the stake and riots in unspecified time in one of the German cities.

In the night, when burning bus was glowing (scene from the riots), about 3AM in the morning, Specter shouted "We got this, thank you everyone!", people shouted, cheering and rewarded the team with an applause. Both the film crew and the team thanked the participants with a handshake, in person! Before we left, we looked around looking for the band members. When the vocalist Till Lindemann passed us, we were speechless, he was dressed in knight's armor, pierced with a few swords - his look combined with fatigue on his face made an electrifying impression on us. We got autographs, wishes for safe travel and we went home in a messy way, in fact, we do not really believe in what we've experienced in the last two days.

While going to the set, we were quite confused and didn't know what to expect, on the way back we were completely lost. How do we put everything together? What is the meaning of all this? We tried to make various hypotheses, referring to the song "Deutschland" which was released played several times on the set (yes, we heard the song already in January), but still we could 't come up with a coherent story. We had to wait until the premiere.

The atmosphere became dense a few days earlier when the band released the teaser into the scene - as it turned out later, that was closing the 9-minute music video. As you know, the media heated up, Rammstein was accused of ridiculing the Holocaust, disrespecting the historical approach, and even insulting the memory of the victims. On March 28 at 18.10, after watching the music video, everything became clear.

The band once again used people's tendency to generalize and reproduce stereotypes. The video turned out to be a unique depiction of the German history, a country which the lyrical subject "cannot give his love" - among other things due to the difficult past of the homeland. We won't hide that most of our colleagues are die-hard Rammstein fans, and the participation in the recording for "Deutschland" music video was the greatest adventure in our lives! We built a monument for the rest of our lives, and even posthumously...

It was a nice surprise to see our names in the final credits of the music video. In addition to our two groups, the music featured our colleagues from historical re-enactment groups: Dragoner, Bellum, Maienburg152IR, Rogatywka 1918-1939 and Erhard M17. They played the role of soldiers of the imperial German army from the First World War.

Found on Rammstein Belgium FB.

[blackestnight]

4. a house divided, fallen

@sea-wolf-coast-to-coast

Prompt: Shifting blame

Word count: 1016

Featuring spoilers for the lv 60 DRK quest “Absolution,” some random headcanons about Auri physiology in cold weather, and very, very mild gore.

Though the original plan for their journey to Zenith had been to fly into the Forelands, the winds over Coerthas picked up once they had passed the Convictors’ camp. As urgently as they needed to plead their case before Hraesvelgr, Aymeric conceded the need to land once Alphinaud was nearly thrown from his mount by a sudden gust. Though the weather at ground level was less immediately threatening, the snow was piling into great drifts that came up well over Aymeric’s knees; Hanami and Alphinaud were wading through mounds that came past their waists. Aymeric wound up taking the lead, acting as something of a walking windbreak and a shovel in equal measure, after he’d been forced to pick up both Hanami and Alphinaud and carry them over one drift that had come up to their underarms. At the very least he didn’t need to fret over getting lost; Alphinaud carried a compass and a map with landmarks from their journey with Estinien, and all three of their mounts seemed to constantly be turning their heads to the northwest, towards sweeter, warmer air blowing through the pass into the Chocobo Forest. Hanami trudged along in the middle of their little pack, bundled in a heavy coat with the Fortemps sigil with her head bowed low--she’d muttered something about faring poorly in cold weather, at the start of their journey, and she did truly seem exhausted. 

Though it would force them through slightly deeper snows at the bottom of the hills, if they cut away from the road they would almost certainly reach the Forelands before nightfall, and they weren’t equipped to survive a night in the cold like this. Aymeric had his doubts about how much longer he could hold out, and Hanami would almost certainly succumb to the chill before either himself or Alphinaud at this rate. And so, following the insistent tug of his steed, Aymeric led the way through the rocky terrain of Twinpools, calling a “This way!” to Alphinaud, who nodded and continued to trace his finger over his map, and to Hanami, who grunted and kept her eyes lowered to the ground. 

So it was that Aymeric was the first to see the glint of metal, half-buried under a pile of snow in their new path. And when he bent to brush the ice away, wary of tripping over old weapons or debris from a fallen Vigil, he found the armor of a Temple Knight, a corpse nearly perfectly preserved in the cold.

“By the Fury,” he whispered, and took a half step back. The body seemed mangled. The chain of the knight’s haubergeon--and Elezen man, he must have been--was splintered, revealing a deep gouge in what remained of the knight’s skin, clear across his ribcage. A merciless wound, the kind Aymeric knew to send knights to Halone’s halls choking on their own agony. And there, by the knight’s hand, a boot.

Another body. 

Alphinaud looked up from his map, and though Aymeric tried to stand between the boy and the carnage, he was not quick enough to keep the blood from draining out of Alphinaud’s face. “Seven hells, what happened here?”

The worst part was that Aymeric had no ready answer. The highlands were treacherous, and the armor was beginning to rust, which meant the bodies were not fresh. “Heretics, perhaps. Though I cannot imagine what would have drawn any of my knights this far from the city in the first place,” he said, grasping at the remains of his composure. And there were more knights, he could see now; more dead, marked only by the gleam of their chain beneath the snow as it blew in the wind, a dozen at least, and in the center of the massacre--

Hesitant as he was, Aymeric moved forward, stepping cautiously over the fallen as a dull horror chilled him from the inside. “Stay back,” he warned Alphinaud, who was already reaching for Hanami’s coat. The blue under the snow, not the blue of the Templars but of the Vault, the blue of a priest, and as the snows shifted again he saw--gods. A woman’s body, relieved of her head, still clutching a staff etched with the heraldry of a noble House.

Aymeric turned away, shameful as it was. Whether the woman’s head had been severed before or after her death--gods--it had not been a clean cut. There were still faint red stains around the collar of her vestments, and bits of gore embedded in the fibers. Hideous, horrifying, and he knew that sigil, knew it from somewhere, a report set aside in the wake of the disastrous conference in Falcon’s Nest, a minor house collapsed after the disappearance of its Countess…

“Hanami?”

Aymeric forced himself out of his reverie. Alphinaud, too, had turned away from the carnage, one gloved hand pressed against his own mouth, but Hanami was clutching her coat close to her body, and Alphinaud’s free hand was resting on her shoulder. She was unnaturally pale, her skin sallow under the red of the windburn on her cheeks, and she was looking at the bodies with a hollow gaze, a hundred-yalm stare.

“W-wyverns,” she said, and her voice was clipped, her jaw locked with cold. “Maybe.” She flicked one hand, her fingers curled. “Claws.”

Wyverns--the Horde, ever battering the walls of Ishgard. Their plea to Hraesvelgr. And his companions, already half-frozen, clearly losing what little body head they had with their march halted.

“Whatever happened here,” Aymeric promised, “I will have to open an investigation as soon as we can spare the resources. For now, though, we should move.”

Alphinaud visibly swallowed. “As you say, Ser Aymeric,” he whispered, and nudged Hanami, who lurched forward a step to lean against her bird. Aymeric waited long enough for her to draw even with himself; as pale as she was he feared losing her if she fell behind, even as he lifted her up to sit astride her bird, side-saddle, so as not to risk cutting her leg on the claymore she kept strapped to the saddle.

[animeaesthtic]

Of Monsters and Men

Rivetra|| Canonverse

I don’t know how many words are in this.

———————————

The bitter chill of the fast approaching evening caused her to pull the fabric of her scouting hood closer in around her face, muttering a string of curses while she worked. Her fingers had long since lost feeling and with each gust of icy wind, she was having difficulty holding on to anything at this point. And just when I thought it couldn’t get any colder. She mumbled to herself.

“What?” Oruo called out to her from behind.

She turned her head slightly to the side to inform him that she hadn’t said anything just as another flurry of snow blasted through them, carrying her words into a separate direction.

Oruo’s yelling only intensified when he noticed her mouth moving. “What did you say? I can’t hear you!”

Before she could turn around fully to continue their screaming match, Eld interrupted. “She didn’t say anything to you Oruo! She was talking to herself. Now shut it.”

She watched as her childhood friend pulled his hood down further over his head and couldn’t contain the snort of laughter that escaped her. He had removed the overly large cravat he had recently begun wearing and tied it around his head to keep his hood from flying off with each gust of wind. Even though it was a smart idea, he looked like an old woman. She could hear Eld mutter that he looked ridiculous and laughed once more in agreement before turning around in her saddle.

They had been riding for almost a full day, and the sun was beginning to lower behind the large trees in the distance. Why they had been ordered to go on a supply run before winter had ended was beyond her, but so far as she and everyone else had anticipated, they had found absolutely nothing. Lucky for them, the freezing weather seemed to keep even the monstrous titans at bay considering the few they had encountered they easily avoided without needing to engage. Something she had expected the squadron of new recruits to have greatly appreciated. Erwin had decided this was as good a field training exercise as any and he was turning out to be right. But with a quick glance in their direction all she could see was a healthy mix of fluttering eyes and dozing faces.

The light of the day was nearly diminished and the previously innocent flurries they had encountered were now becoming more violent. Her face stung with each gust of ice that swirled past them. She was sure her cheeks would be sporting millions of tiny cuts by the time they reached the gate. If they reached the gate.

As if on cue a rider sped up beside their captain. She could see that he was yelling but with the intensity of the wind she could barely make out what he was saying before he continued onward. Levi slowed his speed and she craned her head to see what was coming up before them. From what she could make of the scene, it seemed like a small village- more of a cluster of buildings. Hunting outpost probably, she thought to herself. Either way, it was definitely abandoned and most likely had been for years. No one risked living out here anymore, even those who were desperate to flee the walls of their city wouldn’t leave.

Their company slowed to a halt and Erwin came to a sliding stop in front of them; she joined the rest of her squad in mumbling a pathetic greeting although he hardly took notice of their lack of effort.

“We’re splitting the new recruits between your squad and Mike’s. We’ll scope out the area and then you all can divide them up however you want. We’re out of here by dawn.”

Levi gave a halfhearted nod in reply before turning his attention back to the rest of them. “Oruo, Gunther- scope it out and take the house on the far left. Eld- get with Mike and see if they need you to pair up with any of them. Petra you’re with me.”

A range of ‘sirs’ followed in response to his orders before each of them went of in their separate directions; while she followed her captain. It wasn’t incredibly surprising that he had kept her paired with him. She was the only female on his squad and had far more patience with new recruits than he did. She guessed he had kept her for that reason alone; but still, it wasn't often that their squad split up.

After picking a handful of the new recruits, they made their way to one of the houses near the middle of the grouping. Luckily, because the village was so far from any others it was well equipped with various sheds of different sizes to store the horses in for the night. She rubbed her steed’s nose before letting a baby-faced girl half her size lead him away as she trudged through the deepening snow towards the house. The inside was desolate, meaning whoever had lived here before took every piece of furniture with them when they left. Which was admittedly a good sign. You don’t have time to grab a bed when you’re running for your life.

The monotone voice behind her shook her from her thoughts. “We’ll put them in the main part of the house and take the back. I don’t want to be bothered by them.”

“Understood, Captain.”

Bringing her hands up to her face she attempted to warm them as she walked the short distance to the back of the house. The worst part about an empty room was that there was nothing to keep the cold from getting in. She would have to find a way to make the one blanket she had brought along work. She listened as a group of tired footsteps filed into the house and couldn't help but smile when there was little to no noise after that. Which probably meant Levi had threatened to throw them all outside if they dared make a single sound. She was sure each of them had horrified looks etched on to their baby faces. So cute.

“Why are you smiling to yourself when you’re in the room alone?”

“Hmm? Oh sorry, sir. I was just picturing you threatening to throw them all out into the cold if they make a sound.”

“I threatened to feed them to the horses but close enough.”

She giggled at that, knowing he was being completely serious. It was only then in the silence that she began to realize the situation and her face began to warm in response. She was alone with her captain. It wasn't as if they had never been alone before; in fact, they had been on many occasions. In the past she would go to his room on nights he was overwhelmed with paperwork and help to lighten the load. She had been nervous at first but over time they fell into a comfortable routine, and since no one else on the squad knew, it was never talked about. But here- in this tiny room- they were painfully alone with no paperwork to distract them; and everyone knew.

Clearing her throat she began to loosen the straps of her equipment, setting it down close by on the floor next to her. The titans wouldn’t even notice their presence as long as they made sure to keep quiet, which would be easy since squad leader Hange had stayed at headquarters for this run. She released a breath of air she hadn’t realised she was holding and nestled into the thin blanket each member of the survey corps was given. She looked over to see Levi staring at her with his usual blank expression and mumbled an apology before leaning back into the wall behind her.

———————————

Levi removed his gear and turned to find a spot on the floor. His face crinkled at the amount of dirt it was covered in before noticing Petra dozing quietly on what seemed to be the only semi clean patch in the room. Of course she would pick that spot. He grumbled to himself before electing to sit across the room from her instead. It wasn’t as if sitting beside her would be terrible; in fact he couldn’t deny that he wanted to. She was so lovely when she slept and she smelled nice. Nicer than any of their surroundings when they were stuck on pointless missions. But he couldn’t. Not until he worked through whatever was going on in his fucked up brain.

It had been so easy to ignore her before. A lie. Well, easier than it was now. He had always found her attractive. She was the only woman to make him lose focus of what he was doing and stare like an idiot. Sure, that kind of stuff happened to other guys all the time; but not to him. Perky breast and a nice ass just wasn’t enough to make him stop what he was doing or to lose sleep over. Her hair is what caught his eye the first time he saw her. It was longer then- much longer- down to her waist.

If it had been anyone else he would have thought it was ridiculous. Long hair in the survey corps was only good if you wanted a swift death; but she was still in training, and so he thought it was beautiful. Like the sun. He had never seen a color like it before and doubted he would ever see it again, which is why he stopped to look. And when she had turned around he wanted to curse her to hell because of course she would have the eyes to match. She was attractive- No, more than that. A goddamn goddess. And she had had the nerve to smile at him, as if she could read his damn mind. So of course he had marched off pissed that she would be so bold to exist and determined to never hear her voice because he knew it would sound like honey and be just as sweet. And he was right.

He hadn’t expected to ever see her again; but when Erwin approached him about forming a squad and set a list of names out in front of him he had picked the first one. Surprise surprise- it was hers. But he hadn’t known that then; he didn’t find out until he showed up to a test run for her and Bozado after constant nagging from Erwin to ‘at least see them in action before making his choice’. He saw her hair before anything else and had to fight from turning his horse around at the sight of it, but he didn’t because he wasn't that damn pathetic. Or at least he was trying not to be. He had wanted to change his mind- to send her home; but how could he deny her what was rightfully hers just because she had been born with unusually nice hair. Plus from what Erwin had told him during one of their meetings, she was determined to be in the survey corps. Something that had confused him for the longest time and still did. The only people who joined them had either seen some fucked up shit, done some fucked up shit, or were simply fucked up. He fell into all three of those categories and she- well she could go anywhere and be anything she wanted. And yet she was there, so he let her stay.

Over the years he had watched her fight and survive and she was still as beautiful and amazing as the day he met her. She could still go anywhere and be anything she wanted, but for some reason all she wanted was to serve by his side. He knew that, it was written all over her ridiculously lovely face. He saw it in her eyes everytime she looked at him and heard it in her voice when she spoke, and he wondered how it would sound to hear her say his name. It’d be the end of him, that he was sure of. So he kept her at a distance to make sure he never would. But even that was becoming difficult. The nights she came to his room to help with pointless paperwork were the hardest, but even they were easier than fighting beside her on missions. It’s not that he doubted her; her skill was undeniable and if he were a titan he’d be terrified of her. It was simply that if he could keep her from having to fight he would- he had to.

Which is why she was here with him in this room now; so he could protect her, even if she didn’t need it.

read chapter two here

[foundcarcosa]

cccxxvii.

What would you change about yourself if you could? >> I... don’t know. I don’t know, really. I know there are some things I wish I had a better time dealing with, but it’s difficult to name what those things are. And just about all of the things about myself that give me problems are trauma responses, in which case changing the behaviour or the thought process without addressing the root cause would just be putting more bandages on a deep wound that requires surgical attention. Who is your hero? >> Hmm. What really makes you angry? >> I’m not terribly in touch with anger, since it’s an infrequent occurrence and kind of... random, when it does happen. Responses of mine that I used to think were angry ones are usually just overstimulation/meltdown responses, not actually anger. So. IDK. If you could choose to do anything for a day, what would it be? >> My days all belong to me, so I don’t know what I could imagine differently from what I already do. Would you rather vacation in Hawaii or Alaska, and why? >> Hawaii, because the weather would be more agreeable. I think Alaska is amazing, I’m just not as equipped for that climate.

How would your friends describe you? >> I would rather let them describe me than attempt to read their minds. If you could go back in time to change one thing, what would it be? >> I would rather not. What would you do if you won the lottery? >> Hmm. What’s the tallest building you’ve been to the top in? >> One World Trade Center, aka one of the great nonhuman loves of my life. What’s your favorite zoo animal? >> I don’t know, I rarely go to the zoo. If you were a superhero, what powers would you have? >> Matter manipulation, which really just covers it all. How many pillows do you sleep with? >> One. What is the most daring thing you’ve ever done? >> When I was eighteen, knowing nothing of the true and full nature of the world, I fell in love with a drug addict (in a feeble attempt at self-defense, I didn’t know he was one until I was already in love with him), and I lived with him, and I risked money and life to keep him alive. When our living arrangement fell through, I picked myself up and moved to New York City, alone, with no real money to speak of but with enough precious teenage stupidity to not crumble under the weight of impossibility or despair. --Or maybe it was a combination: of precious teenage stupidity and having already learned that life was constant struggle, and not realising that I could want anything different. Either way, Tommy died a few months later, I figured out the layout of the entire city and its subway system, and homelessness became my default state of being for the next 10-odd years. What’s your favorite type of foreign food? >> The flavourful kind. Is your glass half full or half empty? >> Whatever was in the glass, I already drank it. What was your favorite subject in school? >> --- What is the most unusual thing you’ve ever eaten? >> From a USian perspective, I guess shark or octopus. Do you collect anything? If so, what? >> No. What was your favorite food when you were a child? >> I don’t know that I had one. What sound do you love? >> Distant traffic through an open window at night. If you could choose to stay a certain age forever, what age would it be? >> I can’t imagine being any older than I am, and I can’t really remember exactly what it was like to be much younger than this, so that’s difficult to answer. If you could work on only one project for the next year, what would it be? >> --- If you were immortal for a day, what would you do? >> Actually, I’ve been immortal for many days. After all, I didn’t die any of these days, so I was at least temporarily immortal. Only death proves mortality. ;) What fictional place would you most like to go to? >> I’m not sure. They all have their problems, and a lot of them are problems I really don’t want to be in the middle of. What jobs do you think you’d be really good at? >> I like to imagine myself as a bartender, but that’s probably dumb. I was a merch boi for a while and I know I was good at that, so. What would be the most amazing adventure to go on? >> All of them. What would you consider to be your best find? >> Find...? What takes up too much of your time? >> Fear. What do you wish you knew more about? >> I’m fine with my level of knowledge. I learn new things every second, anyway. Who has impressed you most with what they’ve accomplished? >> I don’t know, I’m not really impressed by the accomplishments of people because I generally assume they’re capable of a lot anyway. Most people’s setbacks are self-imposed, and I’m not saying that to invalidate people’s roadblocks or imply that every shitty thing in their life is their fault. Brains just make mountains out of molehills, it’s common for everyone and no one’s exempt from it. What’s something you like to do the old-fashioned way? >> That’s a good question and I know I have an answer for it, but I can’t think of it off the top of my head. What’s your dream car? >> As much as Elon constantly makes me sigh heavily and put my head in my hands, I still want a Tesla. What’s the best thing that happened to you last week? >> Hmm. How different was your life one year ago? >> Sigma lived here, Sparrow worked somewhere else (Meijer?), I was broke as hell because the NOLA trip and Sigma’s idiotic rent blunder bankrupted me, and I hadn’t met Wednesday yet. Where is the most relaxing place you have ever been? >> Hmm. What are you looking forward to in the coming months? >> I’m not sure what’s happening in the coming months. What is one thing you really want but can’t afford? >> To travel. What website do you visit most often? >> This one. What’s special about the place you grew up? >> Elizabeth, New Jersey, is surrounded by refineries and power plants and various other forms of big industry. When people make those jokes about New Jersey smelling bad, it’s actually Elizabeth and surrounding areas that they’re talking about, and it’s all from heavy pollution. (Most of NJ does not smell like Elizabeth. The Garden State is not a misnomer, it’s just that most people don’t see anything but the parts closest to NYC, and miles and miles of Turnpike.) During the time I was born, respiratory problems (among other disorders too, I’d bet) were pretty much expected in newborns (I was an anomaly). I actually knew a lot about Elizabeth because my father lived there for 40 years and is one of those people who will study everything about a place he lives in, but I’ve forgotten a lot seeing as I haven’t lived there since last millennium. What are you absolutely determined to do? >> [re]learn to live without fear of dying. What is the most impressive thing you know how to do? >> Adapt. What is the best compliment you’ve ever received? >> I don’t know. What do you wish your brain was better at doing? >> Processing anxiety. I don’t have any experience in doing that since it’d never been a problem until now, so I’m still figuring it out. Have you ever given to any charities? >> No. What is something that your friends would consider “so you”? >> Trying to seduce aliens or demons or something, probably. What risks are worth taking? >> Living. What do you take for granted? >> I’ve taken everything for granted at least once, like... come on. A constant state of total appreciation is almost impossible to attain. We need our brains for other shit. What makes a good life? >> I don’t know, I’m just trying to live, not worry whether it’s “good” or not. Who’s fuckin counting, anyway? When do you feel truly alive? >> Hm. Have you ever saved someone’s life? >> I don’t know. Maybe indirectly or by some six degrees of separation shit. What are some of the turning points in your life? >> Hm. What’s the title of the current chapter of your life? >> I don’t know. That sort of thing is best figured out in hindsight. All stories are told from either the past or the future, not the present. What mistake do you keep making again and again? >> Whatever it is, I’ll probably make it again tomorrow. What do people think is weird about you? >> That’s not for me to say. What have you created that you are most proud of? >> Xibalba. What’s the best and worst thing about getting older? >> The best thing so far has been just the gaining of experience, and the processing of that experience, and seeing the way experience changes me. The worst thing so far has been the bodily changes -- not appearance-wise or anything, just... the sensitivities and weaknesses the body develops as it ages. They start small, but I’m sure they’ll only pile up as time goes on. Hopefully my ability to adapt holds fast. What genre would a book about your life be? >> That kind of liminal space between a fiction book and a biography. What lifestyle change have you been meaning to make for a while now? >> Hm. What food have you never eaten but would really like to try? >> I can’t think of anything right now. Where do you get most of your decorations for your home? >> This place isn’t very decorated in the first place. It’s mostly just stuff Sparrow brought over from her previous dwellings. Which celebrity do you think is the most down to earth? >> I wouldn’t know. Do you think that aliens exist? >> Sure, why not. What mythical creature do you wish actually existed? >> They all exist. What’s your cure for hiccups? >> I don’t have one. I haven’t had hiccups that lasted for longer than a few minutes. If you could visit any famous world monument, which one would you visit? >> I don’t know. Any of them, I’d imagine. Angkor Wat looks really neat. Macchu Picchu? Cristo Redentor? Mount Kilimanjaro? The world’s full of wonders. What outdoor activity haven’t you tried, but would like to? >> I think I’ve tried the ones I’m interested in already. I just want to do them again. When was the last time you slept more than nine hours? >> I don’t remember. 

[usashirtstoday]

Assuming I'm Just An Old Lady Was Your First Mistake Reader Vintage T Shirt

That have following equally people of color have been disproportionately affected by greater rates for white Americans that we can honor all of those we’ve lost giving Joe Biden harassment opportunity to put in place a Assuming I'm Just An Old Lady Was Your First Mistake Reader Vintage T Shirt real national plan tests and tracks makes sure that faster vaccine will be fair in terms the full power of our government toward making sure we have the surprising technology and people scientist and public health officials and tracers we need to start right now let’s hear from the champion five front line workers who also happens to be a champion in a World Cup champion making Peter is now a honor to go to the conversation with four front line workers here in America receiving name when you’re absolutely me you know now well and I had and will be in the week and really going to allow a we need not I believe I will my and I we are in a way I don’t know how you are probably for the hospital doors response Teddy and I left electric years and so a lot of my comments people were exhausted and. I think I will my family during the losing dependent upon who is and so must a similar initiativeand eventually back in the word of his particular now gems they could to Botswana last week we Particularly get some Petri by Wednesday to the city on the festival I had to know is what times you are looking for this American trivia any reaction at eight anything to gang as well as both the collective response about the day that the big movements gang be a beetle because the folks you by the way the Detroit University of costand how to become the no I think your American Bars Any of the Soundsand the Is Very Nice Indeed to Get Especially to Get One Needs Because We Use Out Of It so Cutting the Name for Decide Singles Me Thank You Very Much for Giving Us This Syllable List of Things to Get Mom to Good Old Mr Wilson Noses on One Another Speaks on to Say Things like the Purple Hearts along the Filmand Stuff like Viewing in Timing of the DSand in Which the Thought of Being a Politicianand You Been to Move out Only to Go Someplace Other Than Knowing Louise Arrington It’s a Hard Life Is a Hard Days Grind Says in the Many None of the Finalist Most Is You yet We Especially Nearly Days on the Job against Shelterand Bringing Things to Everyone the Minister at Any Moment Any Encompass a Accident Computer Any That I Was an Interesting American Girl Hoping the Police Protecting the Receiving in the City Is Knowledge the Denigrate Job in the Crowd Light Is Expected Now We Can Extend Any Library but the Most Interesting Offer You Ever Receive anand Just Enough to Vacate No Comment Now Know What You Want to Go Bowling No No They I Don’t Know You Will Straighten Was Watching Kellyand Thinking That Things Will Go to Drink from George How You Feel If Anyone Last Night I Enjoyed It Because We Seen the Film before down None of Us Were Very Excited until He Saw It with Youand Others Is That with All the People John Was the Next Secondand Friday Defendant in the Mobile Phone Will Then Rest Is Not Visible Many Congratulations on Your in the Getting Very Delighted Indeed but You Can about a Full Delighted Indeed I’m Glad You like I Loveand Is It Fun for You Loosening You Know Be Fun for You You Are Morningand He Said in a Way That Here but Probably Had a Lie Six Weeks Agoand We Got the Forms to Fill inand Then We We Knew That to Get It Two Days Ago These Forms Straight to the Store When I Was Just about Envelopes Delivered by Somebody by Handling One of Ryan’s Second Set out for You Send the Prime Minister Downing Street to Law Manager’s Officeand They Would Delivered from That to Take the Wheel Assumingand Then Ending How about a Day Later We Just Found Them How We Thought We Were Being Called the Armyand Then Reopened on Monday Then Everyone Outlined ITV the Other Long As Youand Be Awardedand I Don’t Know I Do Not Know Nothing about It Consistently Got It on the It’s Nice to Just Make You More Respectability I Don’t Think You May Be Other People Think to Make Me Any More Respectable I’m Still Scruff One You Had to Be about to the Palace in the Morning to Let I Don’t Know so I Went to Bible You You You Have Don’t Know That I Will Need to Know Well Did Wanted to about His Only Pajamasand an Auto to Get the Equipment Business to Things in the Family Got Them Then Put into the Transitand Then We Got Pushed around One the Lansing toand Only You Can’t Do Nothing about Organizing Thingsand Villains All of Youand the Weather Was Taylor Myself Finding about Heaven with Doing Actual Kickingand Unbelieving Now I’m a Very Delicateand Movedand Began to Me Now Currently the Title about That Just Has Joined It’s like Both onand They Go through the Streets of Making a Film Only Ever Going to Be Called to Reading. Coming out is able to building in a year Warner Bro is all in I mean they are all inand they’re going to be goingand buzzing on top of all that stuff Harry Potter movies were announced we knew about the Lego movies coming outand then this can be all the great dramatic stuff that Warner Bro puts out as well so I mean there’s a whole should appear as I know to start except I know let’s start with this is pulling out of thin airand humility to be the flash now this puts the final year we keep telling peopleand your people keep asking me sitting across green arrow into the movie universallyand now when you bring the flashing TV show an empty calendar not if said forever there to keep their televisionand their universe a separate which listen is the one thing they have gotten far more right than marble has this whole crossing TVand movies I’ve almost wore a movie stupidity is just stupidand heand I met Jaime magna why thing keeping them separate is far more creative freedom to the movie universe far more creative

Source: Assuming I'm Just An Old Lady Was Your First Mistake Reader Vintage T Shirt

Assuming I'm Just An Old Lady Was Your First Mistake Reader Vintage T Shirt, Hoodie, Sweater, Longsleeve T-Shirt For Men and Women

Assuming I'm Just An Old Lady Was Your First Mistake Reader Vintage T Shirt

See more: Assuming I'm Just An Old Lady Was Your First Mistake Reader Vintage T Shirt

Premium Trending This Summer Season will Presents Who Love:

On the masses they are the same as the same yes now the so called Iris didn’t bonding America day ago people this is okay gonna do it is divide and conquer as his finest the oldest trick in the book Anatolia America is all about that that’s what they about that you don’t have to ask when you see the callout of flags what’s wrong to be fair is what works for tourism is not here we go with our service is a Assuming I'm Just An Old Lady Was Your First Mistake Reader Vintage T Shirt look at these people and they gonna bring that all your people you never get it to Seth Scholl daft to bring the so called black people to talk about it because a so called Iris is black and these people is fighting for black people you believe it on TV fake that if you take them as black people are fighting for you dumbass tall steel is like she was born American dream is born in Oakland California and how stainless work bloodstream MRI to the bloodstream and pay attention people remember the election is so called November watch out for the drama that gonna come with it under divide and conquer what. I want them to kill someone I don’t want to die at that at this point it’s just THIERRYand iSCSI has been clever there was talk out is the onlyand John is a fucking idiot how many times in the same mistakesand is all of the last episode I will fucking med start to wake the fuck upand One of the most horrible dream elsewhere for God’s on both out on the government’s utilities like still talking to Robert raffia in which phone is that’s what I can’t go to Kingsland authorities wild imagination is going not goingand that was actually the point where I was like my view is really good is really good when Rob Stark went offand I was my son this is probably the best of those see if you’re like me you spent another is one or two years investing emotionally in Rob Stark is good to make this right I hated him all I did on opportunities status is spinal I warning you all okay okay no I was he was I put all my soon hated signs the current stance on this amazing I still hate her now here now even was you came as a jazz molecule fucked is bizarre so I’m on your team I’ve been in just fine I hated signs of who owes directly Circe given erasers on over Joffrey oh my God Joffrey’s performanceand scripted whole package was so amazing I was able to separate the character from the actor until the actor outlived them I himself was that a thing about meditation was after he died out I was like will appreciate what you did for me when I felt something on around John who actually fucking sucked to the worst character in this whole show is is your on great joy that fucking pirate who can teleport around it just wants to get Circe answered no to the best part’s character was motivated by fucking Circe they thought Circeand he died that’s an art I can get on board with him when he when he washed up on the beach in the exact same spot where Jamie is yeah is like I’m gonna take your head to Circeand it’s like why you’re not in a duel that didn’t need to happen like they were never really at odds with what was it set up it was I was like that before right I don’t got so is happy met with the weight right when they brought the birds on the wrong the year I’m thinking what fortitude is one of hisand his youand what you know Jimmy had the hand is what I’m not Jamie Lantos so you just know just what modelsand amontillado that make’s women choose the one what they are because of your move from the right of the Circe deserve a way worse definite will she had the easiest way out she died in like this romantic way leg with her do you rejoice slowly poisoning individuality your loved area Mario stick the needle throat like 17 what if aria were Jamie’s faceand year I expected that Swiss already is a phase Jamie says something to Circe that that would her heartand the betrayaland then you find out if you don’t want the best moment was of the whole series was for me it was when aria killed Walter Frei went when she pulled a white light like that that’s an underrated moment right there because I like for two years ever since a red wedding lately whenever we were discussed as the show were all big things obviously I’d be like you know people do it when the dragons building thisand what’s what was to happen in the city over Ness Olson was Robin RRR you know what’s a John Snow going to do if he becomes more commanderand I was like fuck buddy when are we going to do with this fucking phrase there still fuck it down their childrenand their castle laughing about the ship with her silly ass hatI hated there I hate those fat girl costumes bad magnetic so they killed of one of the document to the two women on the show was presented to meand then Johnson Rob Stark’s girl didn’t know what he a friend she was bad already had the underwater no no the Rodarte area is we will search for also thinking that got stabbed in the belly was in as part of the whole series as a whole series is learned areas other porn finish off what was the pregnant one man suggested an old woman old pregnant you have down like a blonde Johnny in his auto about the bedroomand you will it was a like he was pretty established that after the battle of winter felt that Danny’s army had been demolished like the unsullied had been slaughtered in the top Iraqi tens of thousandsand thousands of them wiped outand then now even in like the the teaser for the next episode after this episode like she’s got a huge army it’s notice will be beyond that she had a huge army what you said but I felt like at the end of the battle of winter fell we didn’t know what they had like we didn’t think they would beat Searcy that was a real questionand I was even the characters relate to his old other thing now Circe’s plan of wiping us outand not being able to beat her is a problemand are doing the strategy the strategizingand they acted like it was even like it could go either way by two episodes ago suddenly there like looking should really just quit we all know how this ends we are so OP compared to youand they were eight minutes in there like ringing the bells that they want to close it was it was invited all one Dragon it is is is so fucking overpowered bit like episode I really like source I one thing I I did like was Circe’s reaction she was light well neuron you know he’s killed Dragon before you kill anotherand and is much like we know the Oregon fleet is burning at the bottom of the bay we have plenty of scorpions on the walls of the abutment but it all was all the scorpions of the destroyed well the Golden company has never been defeated in the field of my lady the golden company with burntand then the survivors were raped the death of metal lattice Nami five is better than any cell sort related lattice army has thrown down the weapons as there was slaughtered by the North menand then they were raped by the next thing she said was well the red keep has never fallen asleep which made the red default aside from me always being absolutely right here as welland then my father a few years before that were all ended that time way before that when the tour Garyand stated public just three times before now what the like but lately I should own a little bit of a positive spin on the upside area like what will the stuff that you liked about devising I like I like that Circe died I did like that but I didn’t like how she died she deserved a considerable degree were done know denied that she should give a fuck about you logo is character arc I want to see Baghdad ringwormand how he finishes thousands of beside no sign that he does musicand is fucking though it’s really no resumes is a dick in real life is not a surprise in the military Messiah not I like to is a legacy I don’t look at it like I would’ve done this or that you have Xanax I enjoyed I enjoyed it was old this has taken years from my lifeand I appreciate that the that they have a momentous end in this wrists comes inand wants people to say this about D D they do a book adaptation better than anyone has done a book adaptation perhaps in the history of cinema describing also I literally wiped throughand perhaps that was also very good in the paramilitary don’t do is original workand as best what they did with the last couple seasons so read anything that Michael learned from Hollywood movie watching use D D for book adaptationsand not for like grass field open projects yet all I’ll say what I hope happens next upset I hope periods in big fucking trouble for letting Jamie goand there is a trial by combatand and she chooses gray worm as her championand John Snow steps up for Syrianand andand John Snow fucking kills gray worm and then theand thenand then he kills Dannyand then he takes the blackand the that the kingdom ends up being ruled by like some sort of fucking tribunal or some shit like Sam well Charlie light like like fucking if it Sam ran to get put in charge especially by example Samsung you put in charge because he doesn’t even like you enough for some family apparently like world that is the lost Arkansas John wants to go take the blackand so you are Stark’s mobile brand this fucking weirdo was the oldest male I guess he gets to be in charge like he’s on my nerves the Zalman matter which one artist brought Ron Bramwell Guerin is on his cryptic shipment is a woman should tell it was happening is happening is a litigious Soviet process is is was going to ask you we should do about Toby original to go for walks to wait until three is trying is almost anyway brand is going initiate bum he has given no useful advice to anyone I hope they just wheel him into a cornerand facing laid out is trying to move this break it would be so funny if nothing ended up happening with him though was the storyline that Tyler is my friend is in Leo I want to watch the teaser for the next episode like I am with you but I could I noted spoilers like mother was on Reddit they have proven to be reliable thus farand a mattress anymore you don’t do that for millennia. The vast difference in your story sound from my home state of Texas mission you are a school nurse and mother in El Paso are you in a new school year over the returning to start when we went farm which is their home and career are doing okay there were scores for committed students and school do whatever it takes and said they did a perfect score for to move forward went for everyone to watch the bank to Michelle I think there’s nothing like difficult grasses burns to be our children suffer and tell I think they do a great job in guiding interdisciplinary difficult training think if you want to do is nurse truly heroic and really enjoy talking to all of you I think I question you believe that change is coming to you believe that better days are yes thank you for two to speak with us and sharing your thoughts you either we and we the people and you I guess convention is about we only through to be so made the and you are we the we are festivals walking with fear of course we were able to do will be in several out with leaders throughout See Other related products: unicorn shirts and shirt

[newstfionline]

Not the Worst Hotel in the World, Perhaps, but ‘the World Is Very Big’

By Andrew Higgins, NY Times, March 1, 2018

PRISTINA, Kosovo--The Grand Hotel in the Kosovar capital of Pristina is regularly reviled in internet reviews. Here’s a sample: “disgusting,” “a ruin” and “an absolute horror. Probably the worst I have ever been at.”

But the managers seem unfazed by the online abuse. They do not take web bookings and barely offer access to the internet; their hotel has no email account.

A byword for modern opulence when this part of the Balkans was still part of the now defunct Yugoslavia, the state-owned Grand has gone into such a steep decline that even Kosovo’s president, Hashim Thaci, usually an eager booster of everything his country has to offer, struggles to find anything nice to say about it.

“I don’t think it is the worst hotel in the world, but that is because the world is very big,” the president said, expressing disbelief when told that I was staying there.

When I checked into the 500-room property recently, I was the only guest. With 13 stories and three adjoining concrete blocks in a prime location, the hotel accommodates flocks of pigeons on the upper floors and has rented out its basement, once used as a prison by Serbian paramilitary thugs, to a health club.

But it is otherwise deserted, a maze of dimly lit corridors that are littered with pigeon feathers, strung with cobwebs, lined with doors of dark wood and haunted by even darker memories of Kosovo’s past. Two floors have been reduced to rubble, the remnants of a remodeling program that ran out of money.

The establishment’s color scheme--lots of mossy green--and dilapidated creepiness would make it an excellent set for a remake of the Coen brothers’ 1991 film “Barton Fink,” which features a similarly deserted hotel in Hollywood.

The Grand’s general manager, Rrahim Fazliu, conceded that the place perhaps no longer deserved the five-star rating it has claimed since it was built in 1978. But, he insisted, “with a bit of makeup” it can become a “symbol of success” for a country still struggling to find its stride nearly 20 years after a NATO bombing campaign broke Serbia’s grip on the unruly region.

The hotel, Mr. Fazliu added, was a “mirror of Kosovo,” and the image reflected there these days is decidedly less alluring than what had been hoped for when it achieved freedom in 1999.

Service is minimal to nonexistent, the marble lobby stinks of cigarette smoke and the green carpeting that covers most of the floors is stained and scarred. And then there are the cockroaches.

But to be fair, the Grand deserves better reviews than it gets online. On the two floors kept ready for guests, rooms are kept relatively clean and offer occasional hot water. The few staff that remain try to be helpful, and they are clearly embarrassed by the shabby state of their once respectable establishment.

Shurije Abazi, a 58-year-old maid who started working at the hotel a month after it opened four decades ago, still makes sure there are soap and shampoo for guests who no longer exist but who, in a triumph of hope over reality, she thinks will soon return.

Along with other ethnic Albanian staff she lost her job in the 1990s, when Serbia’s former dictator, Slobodan Milosevic, began a program of ethnic cleansing. She has no nostalgia for those times but still mourns the hotel’s decay.

The president, who has only bad memories of the hotel in the past and despairs at its current condition, harbors big plans for its future.

“Perhaps we could build a Trump Tower there,” Mr. Thaci suggested.

Before Yugoslavia collapsed in a spasm of bloodletting in the 1990s, he recalled, the Grand was a favorite haunt for communist officials and, after they left, for armed goons bent on keeping Kosovo part of Serbia.

Josip Broz Tito, Yugoslavia’s longtime dictator, had a suite on the fourth floor. After Tito died in 1980 and his multiethnic country began to unravel, the Grand soldiered on and even prospered for a time, its occupancy rate lifted by the arrival of foreign journalists and Serb paramilitary gangs that wanted to purge Kosovo of ethnic Albanians, who made up a large majority of the population.

Zeljko Raznatovic, a Serbian career criminal and bloodthirsty nationalist fanatic better known as Arkan, commandeered Tito’s old suite while his gunmen put up a sign on the front door barring entry to ethnic Albanians and dogs.

On my first day at the hotel on my recent visit, a group of revelers from a grimy nightclub on the top floor took rooms in the middle of the night and boosted the number of guests to five--an occupancy rate of 1 percent, which is about as good as business gets at the Grand these days.

“We are ready every day to operate at full capacity but there are no people,” said Mr. Fazliu, the general manager. He works out of a huge office on the second floor equipped with a long wooden conference table, multiple telephones and other relics of better and busier days.

Stuck in limbo since the end of the Kosovo war, which brought Mr. Thaci and his comrades in the Kosovo Liberation Army to power, the hotel stands as a bleak monument not only to Kosovo’s painful past but also to its blurry future.

Free of Serbian control for nearly 20 years and now celebrating its 10th anniversary as an independent country, Kosovo is itself stuck in limbo, recognized by the United States and most European countries but still denied a seat at the United Nations and routinely harassed by Russia and Serbia.

It only recently got its own telephone country code--383--while still mostly using codes 377 and 386 borrowed from Monaco and Slovenia. Meanwhile, iPhones do not offer weather reports for Pristina.

However, many of the problems plaguing Kosovo--in particular, endemic corruption and shady dealings by former commanders of the Kosovo Liberation Army--are of the country’s own making.

I had last visited the Grand Hotel on June 12, 1999, the day NATO ground troops first entered Pristina after a 78-day bombing campaign. A jittery receptionist told me then that all the rooms were booked and would be for a long time.

The city was then swarming with foreigners looking for a place to stay--Western journalists, military officers, aid workers and European officials.

We had all rushed to Pristina to witness the end of Serb hegemony and the birth of what the United States and its European allies hoped would be a prosperous new country firmly anchored in the West and its ways.

A critical part of this plan was a crash program to privatize former Yugoslav state assets like the Grand Hotel. Put up for sale in 2006, it was bought by a murky local company that paid just 8 million euros (a little under $10 million at current rates) but promised, as part of the deal, to invest a further 20 million euros.

The promised investment never happened, and in 2012 the Kosovo Privatization Agency canceled the sale--and kept the money it had received. Plans to find another buyer then got snarled in a lengthy legal battle after Behgjet I. Pacolli, a Swiss millionaire originally from Kosovo who is now the country’s foreign minister, announced that a company he owned was suing the government over the original sale.

The hotel is now in liquidation and its assets, which include a valuable collection of modern art, will be sold or put in a museum so that a new owner can be found and the hotel can be refurbished from scratch.

The hotel has more than 500 employees left on the books from the time when Kosovo was controlled by Serbia. The Serbian staff all fled after NATO’s arrival. Around 80 staff, all ethnic Albanians, now show up for work.

Mr. Pacolli estimates that it will cost at least $50 million to make the Grand grand again. It is, he added, perhaps not the world’s worst hotel but ranks near the bottom. “It is really terrible,” he said. “How can you stay there? How can anyone stay there?”