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#the world would never be ready
soosoosoup · 5 months
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Funk branch au
Au and branch design by @bbc-trolls
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amethystina · 28 days
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So my brain is at it again...
And this time it wanted to inform me that it would be very interesting with an amnesia fic where Ga On loses his memories but can still detect emotions related to those memories. Just imagine the possibilities.
Quick disclaimer: I'm sure there are several amnesia fics in the fandom already — maybe even one exactly like this — but I haven't read them so I'm just going to tell you all about it anyway because, to me, it's a new idea xD
Anyhow.
Imagine him waking up at the hospital, sometime during the later half of the drama (maybe he got shot instead of Soo Hyun and complications led to him getting memory loss — idk, let's handwave it for the sake of the scenario), and he's met by Soo Hyun and Professor Min. And while Ga On can't say what their names are, he can tell that he knows them. He can't access the memories but he feels the affection and the trust and accepts that they must have been a part of his life previously. And, understandably, they become the rocks he clings to because everything is new and confusing. He can still remember how to do basic things — he could probably even drive if they put him inside a car — but not who he is.
And Soo Hyun and Professor Min are going to have a rough time explaining some of it, no doubt.
Like, imagine the pain when Ga On asks where his parents are and even before Soo Hyun or Professor Min say anything, Ga On feels a rush of grief and anger. Because he doesn't remember them dying, but his body remembers the anguish of that tragedy all the same.
Some things are more humourous, though. Like: "... why is my face plastered all over the city? Am I famous?" Ga On would be so confused because the emotions he feels as he sees billboards with his own face aren't necessarily good ones. He mostly feels embarrassed and self-conscious. But he is kind of proud when he hears that he's a judge. It must mean he's smart.
Anyhow. The real fun part begins when Soo Hyun brings Ga On back to his apartment and Ga On is like: "Yeah, this is familiar." But he can also tell that, no, it's not right. It's not home. It feels cold and stale, as if he's not really living there anymore. And he doesn't understand why. Because, according to Soo Hyun, he's been doing so since he was a kid. But Ga On just shrugs his confusion off because, all things considered, he trusts Soo Hyun more than his own memory.
Also, imagine when he asks Soo Hyun if he has a girlfriend and she looks stunned, then awkward, then shy, and starts giving some mumbled response that no, he doesn't — at least not that she knows of. And Ga On has an "oh" moment because her behaviour makes it very clear that she'd want to be that girlfriend. But then he'd get confused because what he feels when he looks at her is a lot of warmth and love, sure, but not that kind of love.
Because this Ga On doesn't have years of memories to confuse him and muddle their relationship — he just feels the emotions. And, from his currently pretty objective point of view, it doesn't seem like romantic love.
He may love Yoon Soo Hyun very much, but he's not in love with her.
He doesn't tell her that, of course, because that would be rude, but he definitely makes a mental note to be careful with how he acts around her because he doesn't want to accidentally lead her on.
And it continues like that, with Ga On trying to navigate the world with nothing but emotions to go on. Which, obviously, will sometimes become very overwhelming for him, but he's stubborn so he'd still try and, of course, do his best to recover his memories. And some start to trickle in eventually, but it mostly old ones that are very deeply ingrained in his psyche.
Eventually, Professor Min decides to bring Ga On to the Supreme Court. Not to make him go back to work or anything — that would probably be disastrous considering the state Ga On is in — but to see if any of it can jog Ga On's memory. And sure, Ga On can tell that he's been in his office before and he can tell that he's met Jin Joo before — he feels both intimidated and bewildered by her — but nothing really stands out. All of it is just like ghostly silhouettes of a former life he knows he must have had but can't see clearly.
And then he meets Yo Han.
Just sees him from afar at first — Yo Han isn't even looking in Ga On's direction — but the familiarity still hits Ga On like a freight train. That is someone he knows as instinctively as he knew Soo Hyun and Professor Min. And before Ga On can really think things through, he just walks up to Yo Han because, clearly, this man is important. Ga On can tell that this man is important because his heart starts racing, his breaths go shallow, and he's suddenly overwhelmed by such a myriad of confusing and conflicting emotions he can't even sort them out. Some are negative — even outright alarming — but there's also joy and fondness and longing.
Which just makes him even more confused when Professor Min catches up and explains that this is Ga On's boss. And said boss looks at Ga On with what he first thinks is bland indifference. But the longer he stands there — and listens to Professor Min tersely explaining what they're doing there to Yo Han with half an ear — Ga On realises that, no, that's not indifference. There's something underneath it — a spark of something else he can't name but can definitely tell means something. And he desperately wants to know what that something is. He wants to scratch at it until he can peel away the layer of indifference hiding it from sight.
He needs to know.
But then, not long after that thought has crossed his mind, Ga On is reminded of the fact that this is, apparently, his boss. His male boss. And Ga On really shouldn't be feeling any of the things he's feeling. But, at the same time, he can't just ignore it. Because this is what a connection should feel like.
He might not have a girlfriend but, clearly, he has someone he's in love with.
And that's a little daunting, not to mention disorienting. Because Yo Han doesn't look approachable at all, and there is also a lot of frustration and anger mixed in with the much happier emotions when Ga On looks at Yo Han. There's just so much. And Ga On is confused because he can't really see himself falling in love with the man in front of him. Yo Han doesn't look like a very kind man.
And then, suddenly, Ga On realises that he has no idea if Yo Han knows that Ga On is in love with him. Maybe they're even a couple? It sure seems like they could be considering the attachment Ga On feels. He gets impulses to be physical in a way he hasn't with anyone else he's met thus far. He felt comfort hugging Soo Hyun, sure, but this is something else entirely. This is a need burning inside of him, urging him to draw closer to Yo Han.
He kind of wants to kiss Yo Han, right there in the corridors of the Supreme Court.
But Ga On can't be sure because Yo Han isn't exactly easy to read and aside from that spark of something when he looks at Ga On, Yo Han is impenetrable. And, if they were a couple, wouldn't Yo Han have insisted on finding Ga On earlier? Even if they have some sort of secret relationship that Soo Hyun clearly isn't aware of? Shouldn't Yo Han look more worried?
So maybe they're not together? And Ga On is just hopelessly in love with his boss? A boss who, judging by the way he looks at Ga On, might not even like Ga On.
Whichever it might be, Ga On realises he has to find out. His old memories are already trickling in, slowly but surely, but they're all of Soo Hyun and Ga On's parents and stuff that happened ages ago. And Ga On wants to know more about his life now. He wants to know more about Yo Han.
And he desperately needs to know if his feelings are reciprocated.
Even if it will definitely break his heart if he finds out that they're not.
...
SO YEAH.
It would be quite fun, wouldn't it? If I can find a way to make the story relatively short, I might just write it. Because I'm really intrigued by the concept of Ga On still having the emotions attached to the memories, but not the memories themselves. So he'll remember being both frustrated by and attracted to Yo Han. But without all the memories and years of influence from Professor Min and Soo Hyun fresh in mind, he wouldn't understand the negative emotions as much, nor put as much weight on them.
And it would be interesting to see how that would change their dynamic.
Because some of Ga On's behaviour would still be the same — he'd still be stubborn, righteous, a bit awkward etc. — but he'd also be freer. And a lot freer to act.
So that would be interesting, I think?
And now my brain will hopefully let go of this story and let me focus on other things for a while
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shepscapades · 2 months
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The whole “connecting the whole server with rivers” thing isn’t for nothing :3
Okay I just got like 3 asks about this so apparently I missed something DFBJDFGHKCGHN whose POV is this from? i know false is doing all of the river stuff, is she kinda leading the server plot/trying to do something sinister or is it more of a widespread thing? o.o genuinely curious
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smeraldo-heart · 2 months
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“Cal adopts Kata as his daughter” is OUT.
“Cal adopts Kata as his little sister” is IN.
Today I’m thinking about this disaster family and what could have been.
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The most doomed siblings ever.
(Alternatively the traffic light siblings, after Trilla’s red cloak, Cal’s orange hair and Kata’s green jumpsuit)
If I had a nickel for everytime Cal had a dark haired sister with a two syllable name that ends with A, who had experience being betrayed/not prioritised by a parent/guardian and had a complicated relationship with Cal, I’d have two nickels. Which is strange that it happened twice and also Kata Trilla parallels drive me insane!
I do like to wonder what it would have been like if Trilla had lived and redeemed herself. I think she and Cal would have a very chaotic relationship with A LOT of bickering, but ultimately she could help with a lot of the dark side struggles Cal faces.
And her and Kata? Well. I think Trilla would see a lot of herself in her.
Add Trilla “mother issues” Suduri, Kata “father issues” Akuna and Cal “I never had parents and hence have all the issues” Kestis together and you have a very fun lineage that totally isn’t doomed to suffer or anything. Ignore the gaping hole in Trilla’s chest. Never mind that.
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sciderman · 1 month
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Wait i just...injust realised something.
Peter and Logan are both self-proclaimed loners, they have both serious anger issues and are kinda assholes who tend to lash out at people, one of their coping mechanisms (if i noticed it right with Peter) is to just leave a situation in anger and self-isolate themselves, they both seem to fall in love with most people around them (poly kings), and alot of people (including multiple villians) have a "God you piss me off so much! I wanna fuck you so bad! I HATE how atractive you are to me!" thing going on. They both lost their fashion style for the most part during the early 200s (70s and 80s were a fashion peak for them), transmascs seem to see them as transition goals, they both had their original love interest they intended on marrying and when that didn't work out (Gwen and Mariko), they had a period of being with a wild thrill-seeking lady in black bodysuits (Black Cat and Yukio), and they're both more skilled, smart and powerful than alot of people seem to think, they're also kinda hypocrites in the sense that they preach what others should be while not exactly being that themselves. They also have a Samurai and Ninja dynamic going on a bit. Like...no wonder i love both and no wonder Logan did that whole native american "blood brother" ritual with Pete, they're so similar in alot of things.
this is called batman syndrome and it effects one in every 5 superheroes. there is currently no cure. one like one prayer
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galaxostars · 2 months
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ok but remus and regulus are both introverted, depressed, gay, emo, nerdy, self deprecating, hot intellectual creatures™️ who are so done with prongsfoot’s bullshit 24/7… how can people not want to make them smooch honestly
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sableeira · 2 years
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I will need several business days… or maybe weeks to process this episode
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hecksupremechips · 1 year
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God every day I think about Akane’s breakdown in door 3 because there really is no correct way to interpret that and every possibility makes me crazy. Like she sees this fucked up corpse whom Junpei (and the player, depending on how they play) believes is their friend Snake, but she knows that it’s Guy X. It’s a man she very intentionally put in the game for this very purpose, so that he could die horrifically and be displayed for everyone to see. And she has a full mental breakdown over being trapped in this room with the corpse, being trapped by Junpei, to the point where she rips out her hair and starts bleeding from how much she bangs on the door screaming to get out. And fuck, there’s so many possibilities like
Akane could be feeling genuine terror over the sight of the body, and with that remorse. She made this happen, she wanted this to happen, and now she’s forced to quite literally watch the damage she’s caused unfold. She can detach herself from his murder easily in other timelines where she doesn’t have to look at it, and she can sleep easy knowing that her hands are technically clean because she didn’t do the literal killing. But she can’t do that here, and she has to face the fact that not only did she happily cause this death, she failed her mission. She isn’t going to survive, and now this man is dead for nothing and everything is her fault
On the other hand, her entire breakdown could be completely fabricated in order to keep playing the role of the damsel in distress who is so innocent that the very sight of blood drives her to insanity. The interesting part about this is that if she could fake such a horrific breakdown, just how much of her personality a facade? We know she wants revenge, for everyone from Cradle to feel even an ounce of the pain she and so many others went through, but we don’t get to see the extent of how much she feels this way. We never hear directly from Akane about her feelings on any of the original organizers, just her note about her desire to punish them. She hates them, but does she see their deaths as a necessary evil, or does she feel joy and satisfaction at watching them go? It’s absolutely horrifying not knowing, not being able to see her true feelings, not knowing just how real or fake she is, the extent of her madness. Perhaps she doesn’t even know that herself
IN OTHER WORDS, it’s fucked
#zero escape#akane kurashiki#the truth lies somewhere in the middle im sure#but god both possibilities are so tasty#personally i think her reaction is fake to an extent like i think she does feel at least some joy over the murders#shes doing a good deed and ridding the world of evil#but i think that this is a rare moment where she actually thinks for a minute about what shes done and how its fucked#like shes never truly present in the moment she can never fully grasp the severity of the trauma#and i kinda want to believe that this route is a bit unexpected for her#like she had to have known it was a possibility but its entire existence relies on junpei betraying the others#and i think that she was ready to write it off as a rare possibility so she didnt worry about it too much#because the only thing holding junpei back from choosing door 3 is aoi saying that picking it would require leaving people to die#and akane has nothing but her trust that junpei is good and wouldnt do something so horrible to rely on#but then it happens and she cant handle the uncertainty she wasnt ready for ANY of this to happen#not only did junpei betray the others he betrayed HER in so many ways he doesnt realize#he did what he thought was good for june but its exactly the opposite hes not only damned her#but he trapped her in a room with the disgusting corpse that she put there and everything throws her off#and she has to confront that even junpei is unpredictable and is capable of evil and that she herself has fucked up so much#she cant escape this without literally STEPPING INTO the entrails of someone she killed#and its all just too much and she completely loses it#so yeah for me its less a mental breakdown cuz she feels bad for murder#but more a breakdown because shes been betrayed and caught off guard and has a brief realization of how terrifying her actions are#those may sound the same but they arent please guys please :(#as you can see im very normal about this and good god 999 is so fucking good
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unfinishedslurs · 1 year
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do u love the colors of the comphet
When it’s over, when Henry Creel is dead and dust and they’ve emerged battered and triumphant. When she and Jonathan have ended things. When there is no more fighting to be done, she and Steve give it another go. 
She knows he’s going to ask the same way she knew in ‘83. There’s no waiting this time, no need to wonder if Jonathan might want her too. They gave it the old college try (He lied to her. He was lying to her for months, and she knew something was wrong before that. She thought they could work it out. She’s so fucking sick of lying to herself being lied to). 
He asks with wide, hopeful eyes, running a nervous hand through his hair. He doesn’t have anything to be nervous about. She made up her mind before he even asked. 
She can do it right this time. She can love this boy the way she wants to. The way he wants her to. They’ve both grown in the years since. She’s going to do this right. 
That’s the mantra she keeps in her head when he picks her up and spins her. I can do this. 
She can’t do this. 
It’s somehow the same and different from when they dated the first time. They’re going through the same motions, but there’s something lacking. They’re both older, more jaded. They’re not kids anymore, and it shows. 
They rarely kiss. He hesitates now in a way he didn’t before. Sex is something they don’t bring up at all. Eddie makes a crude joke once, something or other about what Nancy is like in bed, and she and Steve make eye contact. There’s something there, something like mutual understanding, before Robin smacks Eddie upside the back of the head and the moment breaks. She keeps thinking about it long after. Whatever it is that they shared, they don’t talk about it. 
Maybe they’re lying to themselves, both of them. Puppets going through the motions, too stubborn to admit they’re play acting as real people. Still, she can’t give this up. She can’t make the same mistakes all over again. 
Robin corners her two months into the relationship. Part of Nancy is surprised it took her this long. The rest of her is angry she brings it up at all. 
Saying she’s cornered might be doing her a disservice. They’re having a sleepover, painting their nails and talking about boys. Everything a girl is supposed to do. Except Robin is awkward and fumbling, and every name she brings up sounds like a question. Nancy only has Steve to talk about, and barely talks about him at all. 
Finally Robin sighs and puts down the nail polish. “I feel like this subject is making us both miserable,” she declares. “I don’t want to talk about boys, I was just doing it because I thought that’s what you’re supposed to do at girl sleepovers. I haven’t actually been to a sleepover since I was in middle school and the other girls decided I was weird, but I’m pretty sure the point is to have fun. This is not fun. This is agonizing. We should talk about something else.”
“Steve isn’t making me miserable!” She snaps, before realizing she sounds way too defensive. 
Robin peers at her. “Yeah, see, that’s not what I said. That’s not even a little bit close to what I said. Maybe we should talk about this instead. What’s the deal with you and Steve?”
“What deal? There’s no deal.” She turns around and rummages through the nail polish selection. Robin doesn’t exactly have a variety. Her options are red, dark red, and black. She chooses the brighter red with the absent thought that the black would look good on Robin, with her long fingers and dark eyeliner. Then she banishes that thought away. 
“There’s definitely some kind of deal.”
“There isn’t.”
“Nance.” 
She can’t help but turn around then, drawn in by the tone of her voice. There’s a glass wall inside of her, and someone is pounding on it, trying to get out. She wants Robin to see it. She wants someone to see behind the glass. There’s something in her trying to get out. 
“Nancy,” she says again, eyes searing into her soul, “are you happy?”
She smiles, fake and fixed on her face. The glass stays firmly in place.  “Of course I am,” she replies. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
The next time Robin wants to hang out, she’s busy with college preparations. 
It’s not just Robin. She thinks everyone can tell something’s wrong with her. Eddie gives her these looks every time she and Steve are in front of him, like he’s putting together a puzzle. Her mom keeps trying to talk to her. Jonathan keeps trying to talk to her. 
They know, she thinks wildly, every time. She doesn’t know what it is they know. She doesn’t want to find out. 
She avoids them all. 
When she and Steve go to dinner, the waitress captivates her. 
Long, dark hair in braids. Long fingers tapping against the notepad. Dark eyes in a dark face. She’s always loved brown eyes. Nancy has never been one to be jealous of other girls (lie, lie, lie), but suddenly heat floods her body. She wants to be as gorgeous as this woman. She wants her full lips, popping gum. She wants the woman’s swaying hips as she turns and leaves their table. She wants— she wants—
She tears her gaze away to find Steve already looking at her. 
The heat is dosed by the ice that fills her veins. All her senses go on high alert until she realizes he’s actually staring past her. She turns around to see the bartender. He’s handsome, she thinks, tall with tan skin and brown hair carefully styled. He’s talking to a customer, teeth shining as he laughs. 
When she turns back, Steve has firmly fixed his eyes on her. She could almost believe he’d never been staring at the bartender at all. 
There’s something there. Something just out of reach, something she could put a finger out and touch if she were braver. She doesn’t. There’s no gun in her hand here, no adrenaline to keep her going after it all falls apart. 
“What did your dumb boyfriend do this time?” Mike demands, storming in her room. Nancy has half a mind to yell at him to knock first before she registers his words. 
“Steve is- Steve is fine,” she says, startled. “He’s great, actually. Nothings wrong.“
“Then why are you so miserable all the time?” Mike accuses. 
“I am not miserable!”
“You are! You both are, and neither of you will tell anyone what’s wrong, or why-“
“I don’t know why!” She shrieks. Mike falls silent, eyes wide, and Nancy suddenly realizes she’s crying. 
“I don’t know why,” she repeats. “Everything is fine. He’s like, the perfect fucking boyfriend. It’s me, I’m the problem. There’s something wrong with me. There’s a beautiful boy who loves me, and I’m- I’m trying. I’m trying so hard to love him back, but I can’t. I can’t. There’s something wrong with me.” She’s desperate now, wiping away tears as she curls into a ball. She feels pathetic, crying in front of her little brother. She’s the oldest, she should be keeping it together, she shouldn’t let him see her like this. But she can’t help it. There’s something in her screaming to get out. 
Mike, with all the grace and bewilderment of a newborn deer, gingerly pats her shoulder. 
“Have you…talked to Steve about it?”
She gives him a cutting look. It’s probably not as effective as she wants it to be, with her red eyes and tear streaked face. Mike holds his hands up. 
“I’m just saying! He’s your boyfriend, you should talk to him. And if you don’t want him to be your boyfriend, you should really talk to him.”
“I want him to be my boyfriend, I just need to get past whatever this is—“
“Nancy,” Mike says. “It’s not just you. He’s miserable too.”
“Because of me. I just need to—“
Mike shakes his head. “I don’t think it is. If it were because of you, he’d be acting different. More…kicked puppy, or whatever. He’s just being weird,  and won’t tell anyone why. Dustin said he asked Robin, and she doesn’t even know.”
Nancy doesn’t have anything to say to that. 
“I think you need to talk to him,” he says again. “I think you need to talk to each other.”
“When did you get so smart?” She asks, instead of crying again. 
“I’ve always been smarter than you.”
She kicks him for that blatant lie.
“Are we holding onto a dead thing?” She asks out loud. 
He rolls over and looks at her. She’s worried she’s hurt his feelings, broken his heart again, killed any chance they have at a relationship, romantic or not. Then he snorts. 
“Robin got to you too, huh?” He asks, flopping back onto his back to look up at the sky. 
“Mike, actually.”
“Mike? That shithead? What does he know about relationship problems?”
“Are we having relationship problems?”
“I mean,” he says, wry twist to his mouth, “we haven’t had any arguments.”
“Nope.”
“Or general drama.”
“That might be debatable.”
“There’s no need to spice up our sex life.”
She snacks him for that one, and he laughs. She props herself up to look him in the eye. His face is more open than she’s seen it the entire time they’ve been dating. 
“I think you have to be in a relationship to have ‘relationship problems,’” she tells him. “Are we in a relationship?”
He visibly considers this. “I mean, I asked you out, and you said yes. And we never broke up.”
“We haven’t kissed in at least two weeks.”
“Did you want to?”
She takes a moment to think about it. “Not really,” she admits, and his face splits into a grin. 
“Not that you’re not still wonderful, Nancy Wheeler,” he says, teeth shining, “but I don’t think I want to kiss you either. Isn’t that weird?”
When they dated in high school, it was like he couldn’t stand being away from her. He spent every moment he could kissing her, wherever he could. Sometimes it felt almost like a performance he put on for the people around them, lifting her up and spinning her just so everyone would know how in love they were. It was stifling at times, feeling like something to prove. Still, it was how he was, so in love he could burst with it. 
Now, she wonders if it was always a performance. Maybe they’ve both been on a stage, and neither of them noticed the lights blinding them until now. 
“It is a little weird,” she says finally.
“Right?!”
He holds out a hand to shake, the other one firmly in his pocket. God, she wishes she could love him. “Good go, eh Wheeler?” He asks, smile crooked and shaky. 
She snorts. “We made ourselves and everyone around us miserable,” she points out. But she takes his hand. 
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supurman · 1 month
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you can never make me hate superman. selfless help, with a smile!
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mmm essay about sally and kid gort in the tags (cw for child abuse, mentions of suicide, animal cruelty and a murder attempt. i always hope i don’t have to say this but just in case: i don’t excuse or condone any of her or gort’s behaviour at all.) this is literally not even touching upon everything i have to say because i hit the fucking tag limit lmao. NOBODY READ IT’S BAD BRAINSTORMING I JUST NEEDED TO GET IT OUT SOMEHOW
#thinkin too much about gortie side characters again.#sally this time and why she specifically talks about him the way she does#like dravo is obviously still shitty but to me he was. ‘just ‘neglectful#while sally actively hated and even felt terrorised by her own child#like. it’s not like i don’t understand her at all.#imagine you and your love don’t have much besides each other and your shop and you get pregnant and ready to raise a child#only for it to not be a child he didn’t and doesn’t cry ever and he learns everything so much sooner than most but then he never calls you#his parents and it’s not just a petty thing kids do sometimes you feel that he doesn’t see you as family and the worst part is that you#agree deep down#and as he gets older he doesn’t have any friends and actively rejects the notion of the entire concept#but then as time passes you hear about how he has entire groups of children following him and then several of them commit suicide#and that thing coming to sit with you and dravo at the dinner table says that he did what you did last week when the axe to chop wood broke#and you discarded it and got a new one#and he has these habits of ripping out flowers and making sure that they don’t regrow#and then you hear rumours about a friend’s daughter’s cat disappearing and think nothing of it#until you visit his tree house a month later and find a declawed cat and birds with clipped wings and crushed bugs that he keeps fondly#and then you see him with other children and they don’t know and his face is different and body language is entirely different#and were it not for the fact that you know better you would never see anything but a normal child#and you know that you are one who painstakingly brought this thing that should not be into the world and so you decide to end it all one da#and go to him as he’s asleep with the knife shaking in your hand#but he cries when you’re above him! screams at the top of his lungs!#so you beg for forgiveness even though you don’t deserve it through tears but as soon as the knife is put away you see the act drop and fee#his clever fingers having twisted your brain inside and out and you know that you can do nothing#and so the opportunity arises to at least remove him out of your life if not everyone’s lives and you take it immediately.#but you heard him talk. how he will close his fist around the world one day. and you know that it is not a matter of if but when.#like. imagine that. jesus dude.#like i hc her as someone that is messy and does not know a lot about life and she certainly wouldn’t have been a good mother but the love#or at least desire to love is there somewhere. and believing that having a child is really the only somewhat meaningful thing she can do#with her life. she’s not some hero or rich or anything of note. so there’s a lot obligation and not genuine desire for family here.#but she never really got the chance to be an actual mother in the first place so. who knows what that might have looked like
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theirloveisgross · 6 months
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koumeowkami · 1 year
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damn imagine if the paralive characters had solos...
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zerodaryls · 11 months
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i often find myself questioning reality and i'm thinking that maybe people shouldn't let their 8 year olds watch The Truman Show (1998) because it might actually create lasting psychological damage
#anyone else see The Truman Show as a kid and still catch themselves wondering if the entire world is a Set Up or nah?? 👀#like i know it's a pretty narcissistic concept to believe the entire world revolves around you lmao but i mean. the paranoia sometimes...#i genuinely 100% blame that movie for this#like i actually think that if i'd never seen that movie then i would just dilly dally on my way through life#never questioning the very fabric of my existence#...i mean realizing that christianity was bullshit might've still ended up doing a number on me#but like. HELL what if watching that movie opened my brain up to be ABLE to consider that my concept of reality (in which YAHWEH is real)#was actually bullshit. and i needed that movie in order to be able to eventually break free from the bullshit.#who knows lmao#but dear god... the other day i was driving#and i noticed that most of the cars would like. ease off the brakes jUST BEFORE the light turned green. like they KNEW.#and logically i'm like. 'that is because they are watching the cross traffic slow down and anticipating their turn.'#but Truman Syndrome Brain was like 'THEY HAVE CUES. THE DIRECTOR IS TELLING THEM TO GET READY TO GO.'#which is dumb bc if i were running a large scale program and had actors driving around i'd just tell them to follow the basic traffic rules#but ya know. the 'Truman Syndrome' or 'Truman Show Delusion' is a legit thing. there's a Wikipedia article on it. lmao#that shit done fucked some of us up :|#unreality#unreality tw#my posts#ramblings#my life is not nearly interesting enough to warrant a tv show#...but then again neither was Truman's. which was the point.
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synthville · 2 years
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questions about seven and raffi that i need this episode to acknowledge and/or answer include ‘are they together?’ and ‘literally why are they acting like they never met let alone got engaged in 21st century france at the edge of a crumbling chateau’ and ‘it’s been 2 whole episodes why haven’t they mentioned each other at all like is this a deep cover kind of thing or did y’all (writers etc) give up on their relationship because y’all were never legitimately invested in the first place🧐’ and ‘seriously what is going on with these two there hasn’t been one meaningful or offhanded mention about their relationship status and is the silence on the issue meant to be an answer because if so i hate it’ and ‘do y’all (writers etc) know that stable relationships are actually not boring or illegal like you can just write that and no one will arrest you it’s fine’ and ‘did seven get to see raffi in her sexy spy get up before they parted ways because i think she would love it as much as or even possibly more than me (known raffi enjoyer)’ and and and—
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bunnihearted · 2 months
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🕷️☕️
#im broken#im someone who is meant to be alone and be unliked and unlovable and unwanted#thats my place in the world. im foolish for hoping for more#it just hurts sm that it feels like everyone else has or have had someone#i've never had someone who has chosen me over everyone else#im surrounded by ppl who have been chosen above everyone else#and like i read a romance book abt two ppl in their late 30s who are virgins and meet eo#but both of them have kissed & made out w ppl before.... i havent even done that#like am i gonna be 30 and have my 1st kiss???? be fr who would wanna have sex w someone in their 30s who has no experience#they'd have to teach me and like ppl in their 30s are getting ready to settle down#i cant imagine anyone wanting to kiss me just bc im me either like everyone gets tired of me after a while......#i cant imagine anyone not tiring of me and choosing to be w me#when there'll always be someone else. someone better. hotter. sexier. funnier. smarter#im like actually fkn dumb for thinking that someone could want to be w ME above everyone else#spend their time with me when there are 1m things better than me#there will always be someone else everyone would choose above me#also im broken bc my heart is stupidly loyal. im like a penguin... but normal ppl dont work that way#i cant imagine anyone thinking im special enough to love and want me the way i feel love#so i've always known im meant to be alone#but its so hard watching everyone around me have a partner while i have to be lonely and ache to be that important and loved#im always gonna exist as a lonely island never being 1st priority or the favorite or more special than everyone else#and its making my heart so sad. why am i not worthy of dating or loving or choosing or bein no 1??#and being so unwanted and never chosen or special is making me so dejected and lifeless#friendships arent as big to me anymore bc sure i'll hang out or talk to my friends#but then they go home to their partner. the person that are no 1 in their lives#i can have friends but it only makes me sadder bc it reminds me that theyve all been chosen and i have not#i have cry myself to sleep everyday while they have the joy of bring chosen and important and held#i just dont care anymore... i'll only ever exist as a tiny side roll in ppl's lives#i'll never be a main part or the biggest part to anyone....#i'll always have to be completely alone in everything and watch while ppl around me get to have the comfort of partnership
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