#the will byers fan in me would be so proud of myself

[bat-the-misfit]

with this heat i've been itching to shave my hair again BUT i've been growing it for so long to see how it looks like short but longer than short-short you know? THE AGONY IS KILLING ME

[eds6ngel]

Hello lovely I was hoping you could do a Steve with a kid fic! Reader is Steve’s kid’s teacher and they have a parent/teacher meeting and Steve falls for her!

Love you and your writing 💋

✎ when i kissed the teacher | part one

firstly, thank you so much for the compliment darling!! secondly, you are one lucky person as i've decided to make this into a multi-part series! i've always been a massive fan of dad!___ x reader, so i've taken it upon myself to create a series out of it! i'm aiming for four or five parts, but we will see where it takes us <33

warnings: dad!steve. singledad!steve. 90s!au. fem!reader. mentions of bad mother. deep talks about life. swearing. slow burn. mutual pining. pet names. fluff. comfort. steve's daughter is the cutest. more warnings as the chapters commence! [4.9k].

“All right my loves!” you yell calmly to the children, them waving at their parents from the glass window, the group excited to head home after a tough day of school. “Come and sit on the rug for me, I have one more thing for you all before you get to go home!”

A bunch of chatter and pattering feet can be heard as the six-year-olds bounce over to the colourful, spotted rug, each plopping themselves down and crossing their legs as they look up at you with eager eyes.

You cross your arms and put your finger up to your lips, the children copying you and nudging their friends to look up at you and replicate your action. The final kid finally turned his eyes towards you and copied you, you shaking your head and smiling, “What took you so long Harry?”

He frowns slightly, “I’m sorry Miss, I wasn’t paying attention.”

If there’s one thing you could call a success in your teaching, it would be the ability for your kids to reflect on where they went wrong. It was one of the most important things they could learn as they grow.

“It’s okay honey, just remember to use those listening ears to hear your friends quieten down next time, okay?”

He nods as all of the kids sit with their hands tucked between their crossed legs, you now knowing that everyone was completely focused. “Firstly,” you smile softly, “You have all made amazing progress today, I’m very proud of each and every one of you.”

You can see each of them smile brightly, bouncing in their sitting position, especially the less-able kids, they deserved some extra love with all the hard work they put in to improve.

“Secondly,” you say, leaning over and grabbing a neat stack of papers, “Next week is your parent-teacher meetings! So, I’m each going to give you a letter and I want you to give it to your mommy or daddy, okay?”

The children nod, you smiling and standing up, giving each of them a letter. Once you put the spare sheets on the side, you say to them, “Okay, as always, stay seated and I’ll call you up if I see your mommies or daddies, okay?”

You walk over to the window, peering out to see two different parents stood next to each other: Mr. Byers and Mr. Harrington. Mr. Harrington, who from day one insisted you call by his first name Steve, waved at you, you giving a small smile back as you turn towards both dad’s daughters, “Okay, Ashley! Alena! Your daddies are here!”

The two girls stand up, toddling over to their tables to grab their backpacks, you giggling to yourself as you see how huge they look on their small figures. Ashley is the first to stand in front of you, smiling as you open the door, “Go and see daddy. See you tomorrow!” you say, the girl rushing over as Mr. Byers picks his daughter up, grabbing the sheet she was holding in her hand and heading out of the gate.

As you turn your back, Alena is standing there, grinning at her dad through the open door. Alena was a spunky character. She was super friendly, always willing to help out the other kids and almost always had her hair styled in two un-even pigtails. But, she wasn’t fussed, her hair usually a mess by the end of the day after tumbling around on the grass in the playground. The amount of times you had to bring in the poor girl when she had scraped her knees or elbows was insane, but she always put a brave face on. She was a very cute kid and you were lucky you got to teach her.

“Hello!” you say, pretending to jump at her sudden presence, making the young girl giggle, “Oh, come here my love, your backpack strap is twisted.” You lean down and un-twist the purple backpack strap, swiping the few bread crumbs off of it as you signal to her dad. “There’s your dad, honey. Have a great rest of your day!”

She bounces over to her dad, smiling as she passes him the letter, him taking a quick glance over it as he realises what it was.

He had to spend time talking with you. Just you, him and Alena. Alone.

It was no doubt that Steve knew of his little crush on you. He tried his best to push it to the back of his mind, but with seeing your gorgeous face five times a week, how could he ever forget about your beauty?

Now, he had to practically spend time alone with you. Sure, it was still under professional circumstances, but how was he supposed to concentrate? It was a meeting to talk about his daughter’s school progress, yet his mind treated it like a first date.

Steve looks up from the sheet to see your back turned attending to the other students, Alena tugging at his leg, “Daddy, come on! I wanna go home!”

“Yeah, okay, okay,” he replies, waiting for the moment for you to turn to face the window again, which you do. He can’t stop staring at you as you give him a small wave, Alena waving back at you as you giggle, the girl not knowing that you were in fact waving at her dad, who weirdly couldn’t stop looking at you. Strange.

You divert your eyes to attend to the next kid, Steve snapping out of his trance as Alena continues tugging at his jeans. “Okay pumpkin, I’m going, I’m going.”

He grabs his daughter’s hand as he heads out to the gate, him trying to compose himself at the inevitability of you two talking in private. Hopefully his daughter being there would be enough of a distraction.

Until she wasn’t…

You were setting up your classroom for the day. It was the start of a brand new week, so you knew it was going to be a little bit more tough on your end to get the kids to be quiet. They had curious minds, so they would definitely want to go into excruciating detail about their weekends to their friends.

A knock on the door can be heard as you lay out a worksheet full of math problems on the children’s desks. You turn around, smiling as you see Alena standing there with her dad, sheet of paper held between her small hands. “Good morning Mr. Harrington, and good morning to you too Alena!” you brightly say, her dad replying, “Please, just call me Steve.”

“Well,” you chuckle, “Good morning Steve and Alena. How was your guys’ weekend?” you ask, turning your back as you put out the final worksheets.

“Daddy and I went to the aquarium!” she beams.

“Ooh, that sounds like fun!” you smile widely, “Did you see lots of fish and sea creatures?”

“Uh huh!” she chirps, “I saw clownfish and seahorses and turtles and octopuses!”

“That sounds like you had a great time! But, remember, what do some plural nouns end in?” you ask her, trying to correct her on her simple mistake. Even you didn’t have the answer to why some end in ‘I’ instead of ‘Us,’ it was just another weird variation of the English language.

“Um…” she thinks, “They end in ‘I?’”

“Good job! So, it wouldn’t be octopuses, it would be…”

“Octopi!” she smiles brightly.

You put your last worksheet down as you walk over and ruffle her hair, “Well done!” You look down to the sheet of paper in her hand, “And what is this?” you ask, taking it from her delicate hands.

“Parent-teacher meeting letter,” Steve tells you, “Is it alright if I bring her along? I chose some of the earliest slots as it’s just easier for me to come straight from work to here instead of hiring a babysitter. But, if you just want parents alone, I’ll get a friend to pick her up.”

“No, it’s totally fine Mr. Har— Excuse me, Steve,” you reply, “I’m sure a lot of parents are in the same position as you. You can totally bring her along! It’s also an opportunity for her to hear how she can improve first hand, which is great. So…” you mumble, walking over to your computer and opening up Excel, “Alena… 3:45PM. Is it just you coming or is your wife coming also?”

He freezes up at the mention of his ex. His ex-girlfriend’s name wasn’t on the school system at all as he frankly has nothing to do with her. But, you’re Alena’s teacher, how were you supposed to know his life history? Steve stutters as he thinks of a reply, “I, um… I don’t have a wife…” Shit. Not the answer.

“Oh my Gosh,” you frantically say, looking up at him where he had now entered the classroom and was stood in front of your desk, “I am so sorry. I’ve been so busy that I haven’t had the chance to go through the student’s personal files yet. I apologise for assuming, I really am.”

God, you were too kind. It just made you all the more attractive.

“It’s okay,” Steve sighs, “It’s not even on the record. Well, her mother isn’t mentioned on there for… reasons, so it’s fine really.”

You sympathetically smile, “I may teach children Steve, but I know when an adult is hiding a pain too. Whatever happened, I truly am sorry, and you shouldn’t have to pretend that everything is okay to make others feel comfortable.”

He knew you were right. But, you were the first person to ever say it out loud. To be completely honest with him. No beating around the bush and just accepting his passiveness, you understood how he felt about Alena’s mother, even without the backstory. You’re exactly the kind of person he needs in his life.

You turn your head, sighing with a smile, your head leaning against your intertwined hands. Alena was sat at her desk, grabbing a piece of paper and a couple of crayons from the centre and doodling away. It was a rule in your classroom that no kid was to start their early morning worksheet before the bell rang. That way, no kid felt left behind.

“She’s such a good kid,” you smile, “She’s kind and brave and always completes her work. I’ll obviously tell you more of that on Wednesday, but you’ve done an amazing job raising her, especially as a single dad. I hope you know that.”

Steve looks into your gorgeous eyes, fumbling over his words, stunned at the comments that easily flow out of your mouth. You weren’t afraid to be kind, and that was a beautiful quality. “I try my best,” he awkwardly says, not used to the compliments, “I have a hard time accepting that, but, thank you anyway.”

“Of course,” you softly reply, “You deserve to hear it.”

The two of you stay in silence, the quiet sound of Alena’s crayons scraping across her paper being the only noise in the brightly decorated classroom. Steve rubs the back of his neck and coughs, “Well, I should get going. Head to work and all…” he says, pointing his thumb behind him towards the door.

“Uh, yeah…” you awkwardly reply, “Don’t want you to be late,” you quietly laugh.

“I’ll see you later,” he finalises, referring to when he would pick up his daughter at the end of the day. You nod, Steve heading over to Alena and asking for a kiss which she gives him, before he turns around and heads towards the door, exiting the classroom.

You sit there in contemplation, how did you compliment him so easily? You didn’t do that to other parents, and you knew that a few of them were single moms. Why just him? Why did you feel different towards him?

Steve was feeling a similar way as he pushed the door open out to the main entrance. He swore he wasn’t going crazy, he felt something between the two of you. It couldn’t have just been his crush on his daughter’s school teacher convincing him that. He’s dated women in the past and even they haven’t complimented him to that extent. Even the women he tried to date as Alena was growing up hadn’t dared say anything complimentary about his parenting skills. You were different. You showed him the kind of praise he always wanted.

He was falling in love with his daughter’s teacher.

Your day had gone pretty well. As predicted, the students were extra chatty because of their busy weekends, but you didn’t mind. All of them getting along with minimum bullying in your class is what made you most proud. If they were kind to each other, a little extra talking was good for the mind. They were developing, which means their brains were super busy. It was a sign of healthiness.

All of the parents had shown up on time to collect their kids, which was the biggest accomplishment for you. Usually, at least one parent was running late, so you had to take on the task of guiding them to the front desk to wait for their mom or dad. But, today you were free, meaning you got to go home a little earlier, or so you thought.

As you led the last kid out to their parent, you shut the door, beginning to tidy up the classroom before you drive home. However, a faint knock can be heard against the glass, you turning to see Steve and Alena patiently waiting outside, his larger hand holding her smaller one.

You open the door, you smiling and saying, “Hi guys!” Steve speaking up, “Hi, um… I know you’ve probably filled up a lot of your slots by now, but is it okay if I could change the time for our parent-teacher meeting? Work asked me to stay an extra two hours.”

“Of course!” you reply, walking over to your desk, “I’ve shut down the computer for now, but I’ll make a note in my planner, okay? I keep everything stored twice in case this thing decides to play up.”

“Sounds great.”

You flip through the pages, finding Wednesday’s date and opening the cap to your pen, “Okay. How late are we talking?”

“You have anything after 6PM?” Steve asks, “I can do slightly earlier if it’s a problem for you, but I don’t want to accidentally run late and mess everything up.”

“Not to worry,” you reply, “I’m pretty sure I have after six,” you look down through the list, finding some empty slots after 6PM, “Yes, I do. I have 6:15 and 6:25. Any preference?”

“6:15 would be great, thank you,” he says with a sigh, thankful that his change of work schedule hasn’t messed up yours. You cross out Steve’s 3:45 appointment and re-write him in for 6:15, making sure to update that in the school system tomorrow.

“Also,” he starts, “Is it alright if I get my friend Robin to pick up Alena on Wednesday?”

“Um…” you think, “If you could give me a description of them, that would be helpful. You know, keeping the kids safe and all. Don’t want to give your daughter to any stranger who claims they are your friend, you know?”

“No, I totally get it,” he replies, “She has a dirty blonde coloured hair that, I guess is shoulder length? She has a fringe too, slight wave to her hair. A little shorter than me, so I guess like 5’9-ish. Blue eyes, freckles on her face, she had black painted nails the last time I saw her which was like three days ago. Is that good enough?”

“Yes, let me just write it down so I don’t forget. I’ll confirm with Alena on the day anyway, she’ll probably be excited to see her,” you say, making a note underneath your column of parent-teacher meeting times.

“Oh yeah,” Steve chuckles, “She calls her Auntie Robin, so if she yells that, you have the right person.”

“Great,” you smile, mumbling out, “Okay… Alena picked up by ‘Auntie’ Robin — short, dark blonde hair with fringe, blue eyes, freckles, black nails. Okay, all written down.”

“Thank you,” Steve breathes out, “I’m still on for dropping her off tomorrow and Wednesday, it’s just picking her up Wednesday afternoon that’s the change. Hope it’s not too much of a fuss.”

You wave your hand, “You’re fine, trust me. It’s only one day, you pick her up every single other day on time. Plus, you told me in advance, which many parents have failed to do in the past,” you softly laugh, reminding yourself of the endless days of random people claiming they’ve come to pick up a certain child, you having to go through the endless hassle of contacting the parent to confirm the stranger is who they claim they are.

“Yeah, well, I thought it was best you should know. Hawkins is a scary place, I’m sure you’re well aware,” he awkwardly smiles, trying not to focus of the events that happened just under ten years ago.

“Yeah, not got the best reputation around here,” you laugh, brushing your hair behind your ear. “Well, I guess I will see you in the morning.”

Steve smiles, lifting Alena up onto his hip, “You will. And again, thank you for letting me change the time.”

“No problem at all,” you smile, “Bye Steve. Bye Alena!” you shout, her giving you a big smile and a wave from over Steve’s shoulder. God, she was a cute kid. And her father… Well, he wasn’t bad-looking either.

The parent-teacher meetings had been going well so far. You had conversations with parents that were brave, their kids little mini-me’s of them, to kids you just wanted to save from the inevitable attitude they would someday inherit from their parents. As a teacher, it sometimes felt that you were becoming the mother that the children wish they had.

No parent had actually booked after 6:15, so Steve was your final parent to speak with, and you couldn’t wait to gush about how beautiful of a girl Alena was.

As you bid farewell to Mr. and Mrs. Cromwell, you sigh in your seat, leaning far back and placing your hands on your face. A voice interrupts you, “Not the nicest, huh?”

You move your hands away, leaning forward once again and softly laughing, “Yeah, bit of a silver spoon shoved up there.”

Steve enters the classroom and takes a seat in front of your desk, “I hate parents like that. I heard them from outside saying that you were lying about Rhys. Like, come on man, just accept that your child has flaws. You didn’t even say anything bad!” he exclaims, arms flailing up in the air.

“Right?” you smile widely, “All I said is he needs to improve on his spelling and suddenly I’m the worst person in the world. I never even said it was a bad thing, they came to that conclusion. I don’t expect every child to be perfect at everything, I wouldn’t even say that about Alena, it’s normal for children to have a few tough spots in their education.”

Steve softly smiles, “Well, you’re lucky I won’t complain even if Alena was bad at everything.”

You laugh, “I certainly won’t be doing that. Speaking of, shall we start?”

“Of course.”

“Okay,” you say, flipping through your grade sheets and coming across Alena’s name, “Firstly, grades. I don’t really do a typical grade system, your A-F kind of thing, I actually do it in stars. A bit weird, I know, but it actually helps the kids understand their current learning levels, so I just adopt it as well,” you smile.

Steve grinned at your explanation, actually preferring your way of grading. So what if it was weird? It was different, and he liked that.

“Her spelling is spectacular, 10/10 on her spelling bee last week, 9/10 the week before. Pretty consistent in the top levels there. That would land her in adult talk around an A, so that’s five stars in child’s talk,” you say, turning the page over to the reading section, “Are you aware of our reading levels?”

He furrows his eyebrows, “I can’t remember what the highest level is again.”

“Not to worry,” you reply, looking him in the eye, “So we do levels 1-6. One obviously being the lowest, six being the highest. Six is very rare in this class, just for warning. I think I only have two students on level six, so don’t panic that Alena’s not there yet. She’s on level four, which is just above average, a B grade if you will. Plenty of room for improvement, so I’m not overwhelmingly worried.”

Steve laughs, “Definitely a change from me. I can’t spell for shit,” he freezes, “Sorry, I shouldn’t curse, should I?”

You chuckle, “We’re technically out of school hours, curse all you want honey.”

Honey. That was new.

“Now,” you say, flipping over to the next page, “She is struggling a little with math. I’ve noticed that she gets her numbers confused around a little. When counting on her fingers, sometimes she skips a number or goes ‘3, 2, 3.’ And that has sadly affected her in other subjects. We sometimes do timelines in history, and her switching up of numbers means she’ll put a date from the 1500’s in front of the 1600’s. So, she’s currently on two stars, which is sadly a D in normal grades. But, it is only simple mistakes. If she doesn’t get those numbers mixed up, she’ll naturally bump herself up to a B, possibly even an A. I was wondering if you could help me out with this next part.”

“Of course,” Steve replies, “Anything to help my pumpkin.”

You smiled to yourself. What a cute nickname.

You pass him over a couple sheets of paper, “Since I have fifteen kids to teach, sometimes it’s a little hard to notice the mistakes Alena is making before I mark her work, and the markings do equate to the grades. So, I have some math problems here, and I was wondering if you could maybe help her at home? Try and get her out of the habit of skipping numbers or mixing them up. That way, if you know they’re right, you can bring them in, I’ll mark them, and they’ll bump up her grade. Also, the affect of you getting her out of the habit will probably help her in class too.”

He takes the sheets off of you, “Totally, I’m on it. She’s still doing better than I ever did at school, so that’s always a bonus,” he slightly chuckles.

You smile, shaking your head, “To be honest, as humans, we’re not supposed to be good at everything. I shouldn’t really tell you my thoughts on this, but the education system is designed for competition. The idea is that kids are supposed to be good at everything, which is utter bullshit to me. Alena is probably just not gifted at math, and that’s okay.” You sigh, “But, because of the system design, if she wants to graduate first grade, she’ll need to get at least a C in math.”

Steve smirks, “Ain’t that the truth. But, I understand. Math homework will be on the agenda for this weekend,” he smiles.

You close your book, “That’s the main grades done. Writing is also very on point, she can trace the letters almost perfectly. It’s just removing that guide now and seeing how she does without it,” you smile.

“Great,” Steve agrees.

“Now, I’ve done this with every parent tonight, so I’m just going to talk about how Alena is as a growing human, because no amount of grades will ever outweigh personality, and it definitely won’t for Alena. She’s is such a sweet girl. She’s always willing to help others, easily makes friends due to her kind persona and has really respectable manners,” you explain, “I mean, you saw what she was like on Monday morning. Instantly came in, followed my rules about not starting any tasks until the bell rings, and just sat there drawing. She’s amazing at being honest and respectful, but also has just enough spunkiness to set her apart in a crowd. What I’m saying is, you’ve done an amazing job raising her Steve, and I’m sure she gets her beautiful personality from you.”

Steve can’t help but let a small blush rise to his cheeks at your compliments. Again, it was just something about you. You take notice, but don’t point it out, smiling widely at his reaction.

Steve sighs happily, “Well, I’m glad she’s like that. I wasn’t the most… nicest person at school. I let the popularity get to my head, all that shit. Treated everyone lower than me like they were a second-class citizen. Even did that to Jonathan, Mr. Byers, for a while. His wife is actually my ex,” he chuckles, “She pretty much got me out of that shitty popularity ordeal. So, I think I just want my daughter to be the opposite of me. Be the me I could’ve been when I was younger, you know?”

You nod, “I get that. I’ve learnt that parenting can either be one of two things: you don’t want your kids to end up like you, or you want them to be exactly like you. Based on how you described yourself, I’m glad you chose the first option. Although,” you shrug your shoulders, “I would give yourself some credit. It seems like you’ve done the inner healing and reflection to give your daughter a chance to become a kind human being. A shit person can’t create a nice one.”

“Yeah,” he thinks, “Maybe you’re right. I do still say mean stuff every now and again. Judge people before knowing them, all that kind of shit. I’m not proud of it, but it’s just engrained into me by now.”

You look into his eyes, “I think that’s more a generational thing. I mean, I try my best to see why people act the way they do, but even I judge people. What I said for Alena also applies for you too, Steve. Humans aren’t meant to be this definition of perfect. We’re always gonna have a flaw. You can try and work on it as much as you want, but there’s only so far you can go. Sometimes, it’s just easier to accept that’s who you are and it’s actually doing you more harm than good the more you critique yourself for it.”

You were so goddamn smart. You couldn’t have been more than twenty five years old, and yet, you had a better understanding of life than he ever did. Maybe it was seeing life through a kid’s lens, but he feels that can’t be all to the intellect. Life experiences make you understand the world. It sure helped him understand it. He was intrigued. He wanted to understand your mind, get to know you better than just his daughter’s teacher. You were such a beautiful soul and had such a fascinating mind.

Steve has no words as he stares at you in awe, unaware that he hadn’t even said anything as you clear your throat, “Um… anyway…” you begin, grounding Steve back to reality, “Do you have any questions for me?”

His mind did go to asking you out on a date. But, you were his daughter’s teacher, was that even allowed? Was that breaching any rules or codes?

And little did he know you were asking yourself the same questions. Your brain was itching to research into the questions. Why did he have to be one of your student’s dads?

“Uh, no, no I don’t,” he stutters out, taking this as a queue for him to leave as he raises from his chair. You hold out your hand, him taking it as you shake it, each basking in the warmness of the other’s palm.

“Well, thank you Steve for being here. I usually do another one of these around March time, so I hope to see you here for one of these again then!” you smile.

“Of course,” he replies, “But, really I should be thanking you. Supporting me and all when I basically rambled about my life.”

“Just because it’s a parent-teacher meeting doesn’t mean I have to lose all my kindness to be professional,” you sympathetically say.

Steve hums in agreement, you weren’t completely wrong. He’d take you any day to compliment and uplift him. If only he could somehow have that…

“Yeah… Well, see you tomorrow morning,” he smiles, turning his back and heading out the classroom door.

You stand up and start to pack away your folders and planners into your bag, thinking about Steve. You could tell that he wanted to change, wanted to shape his daughter into the man he never was. Give her the opportunity he only wished he had. But, there was something about him. Sure, he had a gorgeous mop of hair and the prettiest hazel eyes, but there was something inside too. A sense of kindness, warmth, comfort. Something you’d never felt so intensely with a man before.

Shit. You were falling for your student’s father.

thank you for reading!! i can't wait to write for the rest of it! i'll try and get a chapter out every few days amongst other smaller fics, so please be patient <;33

→ next chapter.

[runninguplenorahills]

Hello!! I just wanted to say that I love your art so much!!! Your art style is so cool and I love how there are sometimes little squiggles and shapes around characters when you draw them!!

Your art has actually been really inspirational for me, and, I will say this until the end of time, your shading is incredible!!! When I first saw your art of sad Will and Mike I was like “I’m going to draw like that one day!” I’ve shown your art to my younger brother and be both totally obsessed over your cleradin art and the Byler week summer love prompt of Will (which is one of my favorite Will Byers fanarts of all time, the colors and the happy summer emotion it’s showing is amazing!!!)

I hope that you have a fabulous day!!!!

Ohhhhh, what if I just started crying? Like, AHHHHH, I can’t even describe how happy I am to hear this ajhsiwieevdbhss thank you thank you thank you, you’re too kind!!💗💞💓🩷💕

The sad Will and Mike fanart is actually the first actual byler fanart I made and I myself am incredibly proud of how both of them turned out so to hear someone else appreciate it, and my art in general, as much as I do is genuinely wonderful! Especially because I have grown quite insecure about my art during the time I’ve been sharing it on tumblr. It’s not that the little feedback changes my own perception of my art but it still affects me negatively which is why I mostly only tease my artwork with polls and wips but put off posting the finished piece. Now just the thought of posting my art puts me in a bad mood because I already know that I’m setting myself up for disappointment, and the whole thing just generally makes me feel bad because of the “oh the byler tag just generally has a problem with reblogging fan content” to “but look, all those other people get so much more notes on their art than I do so my art is the problem” pipeline and the internal conflict between “I spent a significant amount of time on this and I’m rightfully mad for getting so little recognition” and “There are so many other artists who get way less recognition than I do and maybe I’m just ungrateful” and then I feel bad for feeling bad, like, this is mentally exhausting…🫠

But whenever I post a wip or even manage to post a finished piece I can always count on all your kind words and I want you to know that they don’t go unnoticed nor unappreciated even though I might not always respond!💓I’ve also noticed you re-reblogging my art and AHHH thank you!! It means the world to me💞🌷

And to think that someone would consider my art an inspiration? It’s like a dream come true alwjwnsbsujwnwj 🤧💗💗, I have to fight back tears rn :’). And you’re definitely gonna be able to draw like me someday, very probably better actually hahah. And do tell your brother that I appreciate that he likes my art as well💓

You actually just made my day and I hope I can make yours too with this tiny Will I drew for you <3

[hawkinsschoolcounselor]

Hi there ‘not queer-baiting’ anon here. I want to apologize. I didn’t mean to come across like I was lecturing you. I’m a queer woman born in 1983, and I was aware we’re close to the same age. I brought up Teena and Shepard because some of those who read your blog might not know those names, who weren’t around when those tragedies happened. I was pretty certain you would know who they are.

As for my what I was getting at, I do think the show itself needs to confirm Will is gay, whether he only admits it privately to himself or perhaps to his direct family. I just think within the universe the idea that Will might not come out to his friends and live as an openly gay boy is a realistic possibility. Like you pointed out, the media back then didn’t have a lot of positive representation. Will had no role models, very little access to accurate information, or a gay community. He’s also from a traditionally conservative State. I can easily see a fifteen year old boy not feeling ready to come out under such circumstances. So, those who talk about the situation like Byler has to happen or else it invalidates Will’s story is reductive to me. The story of a closeted gay kid is just as valid, if disappointing to the modern audience.

I’m hopeful that if the Byers are in California that Will does get to see and experience a more positive depiction of gay people than Hawkins probably gave him. I think that would be a very organic way to open him up more to be comfortable and accepting of himself. I do want Will to come out and be happy, I just want to temper those expectations with acceptance that it might not be the outcome.

Once again, I’m sorry if it seemed like a lecture or that I’m unsupportive of LGBT+ persons and depictions in media. That was never my intent.

I apologize on my end, too. I appreciate you wanting to take the historical context seriously, but I was being defensive, and I overreacted a bit. I get angry when it's suggested that it's unrealistic that Mike and Will could get together. It ends up feeling like the burden of evidence is sky high for a gay couple, but two straight kids just need to be in the same room.

I honestly feel like the story of the closested gay kid is played out, and it sends a hopeless message to the audience in this particular case. On a show where Will has constantly been made to suffer, he deserves more than to accept himself in silence. It would feel to me like he ends the show the way he started, only he's just hiding from a different type of monster. I'm not saying that Will should end up "out and proud" or that he and Mike would dance together at the Prom, but there is a middle ground here that perhaps we're both ignoring.

They've spent three seasons now showing the unique relationship Mike and Will have. People out there still seem to think they're "just friends," but the details make it clear that they have something special that they don't have with any of their other friends. If they didn't plan to go somewhere with this, I can't see why they'd repeatedly build it up. And it's not solely on Will's end, like some people seem to think. Will's homosexuality is actually something we're largely informed of, rather than shown. Honestly, the only part we actually see from him is his jealousy in season 3. It's really Mike who makes all the grand gestures, but most fans don't think twice about Mike being gay. I find that to be an interesting phenomenon. Apparently, in our heteronormative society, you're straight as an arrow until someone says you're gay.

I don't know how they plan to go about portraying this. I feel like there's no way they can really do the journey justice with the time they have. Still, I do believe that the seeds have been planted for both Mike and Will over the years, and they seemed to be priming it to bloom in some way next season. I just can't see the Mike and Will saga going nowhere after everything they've done leading up to it. I don't know if Robin will play a role in this now that she's opened the door for explicitly gay characters. I don't know if a relatively more liberal area like California might play a role, either. I just don't it would be baffling to me to not take this to some sort of satisfying resolution. I just know that they've gone to lengths to show that these boys have something special, and it would make no sense to me to end it with anything else but them together. It doesn't need to be over the top. I don't expect them to be able to go out in public in a place like Hawkins, but I do expect them to show these two boys finally finding peace and happiness with each other.

PS: If anyone out there is genuinely interested in why I feel the way I do about Byler, or any other topics, then please look at my pinned index post. I've talked about these topics too many times, and I don't wish to repeat myself over an over.

[the-weeping-author]

Hate To Love Chapter 5

A/N: hi guys I hope y’all are enjoying this, this is where shit starts hitting the fan with miss Sara. So it’s about to start getting good.

Warnings: cussing, violence, bullying and just a little bit of blood.

Word count: 1,920

Tag list: @ahoy-stevieboy @thehair-ington @galactic-kitten-nonsense @linkispink1995 @theworldisugly-22 @harringtown @phoebethepheebs @bvrningdesires @gardeniasandwhiskey @lxvesickreality @bluebellbrooke @harrington-ofhawkins @thenameishayley248

Please enjoy 😊

Barb was missing, the only people at the party who seemed to notice and care was Nancy and I. If I’m being honest I personally blame Nancy for barb going missing. If she was being a good friend like she claims to be, maybe barb wouldn’t be gone.

I’m honestly over her shit, She's been on my last nerve here lately. Is it because Steve? Maybe, I wouldn’t ever say that out loud but most of it was because of the whole barb thing.

She’s just a bad person, She was more concerned with getting fucked by Harrington than being a good friend. If only I had listened to her.

My brother has been acting weird lately too, I knew he wouldn’t talk to me about it. First will now barb the only thing running through my mind right now is who's next?

School was annoying Steve and Nancy made sure of it, but there are more things to worry about and her name was Carol. She knew about the kiss. The only thing was when would she air it out.

She’s Conniving. She’s like a snake waiting to strike its prey, I was her prey. In elementary and middle school she tormented me along with Steve and Tommy they made my life hell, apparently Carol hand tormented me long enough.

When I got home I immediately did my homework, I got ready for work when I got there it was horribly slow. The bell above the door rang. I continued reading, calling out to the customer.

“Hello.”

When I didn’t hear a reply I just continued to read most of the customers didn’t reply but most did which counted for something.

When the customer put their stuff on the counter I looked up smiling until I saw Steve Harrington standing before me.

“Is this all?”

He looked at me smiling.

“Uh no let me get a pack of marlboro reds please.”

I smiled, started scanning his items.

“So Steve I haven’t seen you since the party, how are you?”

He raised a brow at me smiling, my stomach knotted.

“Sara we literally see each other everyday at school.”

I smiled, my cheeks turning red.

“Oh right.”

“So I don’t know if you remember but at the party something happened between us.”

He thought for a moment then looked at me.

“I don’t remember what happened?”

I looked at him, my mind flashing back to the look on Carol's face.

“Steve you kissed me and Carol saw, so I’m pretty sure she’s going to use it to make me look horrible.”

He looked at me as I continued to scan his items.

“Come on Sara, they aren’t like that anymore they’ve changed.”

I rolled my eyes at him scanning the last item he had.

“Oh please go blow that smoke up someone else’s ass cause I don’t buy it.”

He didn’t say anything for a moment so I looked at the cash register then back to him.

“Your total is $9.50.”

I smiled sarcastically, he smiled at me handing me the money. I gave him his bags then his change, watched him walk out the door.

A small smile formed on my lips, I knew from that moment on I was screwed

It was Thursday. It was honestly a really bad day, I had my brother's funeral to go to which I honestly didn’t even think it was his body they found but I never said anything because I didn’t want anyone's shit.

So here I was planning what to wear to my brothers funeral when I saw Carol, Tommy, Steve and Nancy in the hallway.

They were staring holes into me, I smiled lightly but when I walked to my locker I noticed other kids staring at me with papers in their hands.

I shrugged it off opening my locker, when I did papers flew out of my locker, all over the floor I quickly started to pick them up until I saw one of them.

There was a picture of me on them with bold letters Sara The Slut. My heart dropped to my feet, anxiety started to rip its way through my body as I continued reading the paper.

Sara the slut is not only a cheap whore but she’s also a bad friend. She kissed Steve Harrington when she knew Steve was with Nancy wheeler. So ladies watch your guys around her.

Tears stung my eyes, I stood up when I turned towards them. Carol had a shit eat grin on her face, the rest just looked cold.

I shut my locker, walked to class nancy chasing after me.

“Sara, wait.”

I stopped dead in my tracks turning towards her with a cold look on my face.

“Yes nancy?”

She looked at me while hurt and betrayal filling her eyes.

“Is it true?”

I looked at her mouth opening and closing like a fish, I felt like I was going to puke but I couldn’t let Steve lose Nancy if she knew the truth.

“Yeah Nancy it’s true I kissed him.”

She shook her head scoffing at me.

“How could you, how could you even smile in my face knowing that you kissed my boyfriend?”

I shrugged at her, a stray tear falling down my face.

“Because Nancy I didn’t care and I still don’t.”

I lied straight to her face, I wanted to tell her how it was all a lie how he kissed me, how Carol was just trying to start shit but she wouldn’t believe me.

“I guess I see where our friendship lies.”

With that she walked away, her shoulder brushing into mine causing me to move back a inch or two.

“I guess so.”

I went into the bathroom near my classroom to recollect myself. When I got In there I finally broke, tears started pouring down my face. I sobbed quietly when I looked up from the mirror, saw Carol standing there.

“Oh poor Humpty, you just couldn’t help yourself could you I mean couldn’t get Steve to notice you so you kiss him?”

I wiped my face, grabbed my bag and walked out the bathroom.

“Carol get a life please.”

She followed me out the bathroom which I knew was going to be bad.

“Oh I have one, I actually have a boyfriend, I have friends none of those you have.”

“Carol shut up.”

We both looked at Steve, so was Tommy along with Nancy.

“No Steve I mean come on it’s true she’s a nobody just like her brother. I mean just look at her family her dad left, her brothers dead, her other brother is just a creep and her mother is a total nutcase.”

I clenched my fist, when Carol looked at me I swung. Hitting carol right in her face, when she fell to the floor I got on top of her just hitting her over and over. I felt someone yanked me off Carol.

I thrashed in their grasp. I looked to see who was hold me and saw my history teacher Mr. Banks. When I looked towards them Carol’s nose was bleeding.

I felt proud I had finally stood up to my bully, I wasn’t going to stop. once I calmed down, Mr. Banks walked me to the principal’s office.

I got a week’s worth of ISS, I was pretty damn proud. Sure my mom would be pissed, they told me I needed to go home because I told them if I saw Carol again I would beat her up again.

So they decided it was best if I went home. Of course I’d have to get my homework from all my teachers before I left but the principal was doing that for me.

After that got handled I drove home, when I got there my mother wasn’t home, but Johnathan was.

“What are you doing here so early you literally left about 2 hours ago.”

I looked at him, frowning. He was staring at me but then his eyes widened.

“Holy shit Sara what happened?”

“What do you mean?”

“You have blood on you.”

I looked all over my hands not seeing anything, then I started looking at my legs.

“Sara what the fuck happened.”

I looked at him as he started looking me over.

“Get off me I’m fine it’s not my blood.”

“Then Who’s blood is it?”

I looked at him putting my hair in a ponytail.

“It's Carol’s but before you say anything she deserved it.”

He looked at me, his lips forming into a thin line.

“Sara, all you’re doing is showing them that they can get to you.”

I felt frustration fill me.

“Yeah Johnathan I am, you know what it felt great to punch that little bitch in the face.”

He sighed looking at me.

“Okay fine but you’re telling mom.”

I shrugged my shoulders while walking to my room.

“okay but I have homework to do so later.”

*Timeskip*

My mother got home around 9, immediately I wanted to disappear. I knew what I did was wrong but no one, I mean no one talks about my family.

I walked into the kitchen, my mom smiled.

“Hey Sara, how was school?”

I sighed, shutting the refrigerator door.

“Uh good but I need you to sign something.”

She turned to look at me, raised a brow.

“Oh yeah well bring it here and I will.”

I took the piece of paper from my back pocket, unfolded it, handed it to her, she read it then looked up at me.

“Sara Bailey Byers, why are you in ISS?”

I winced when she said my middle name, I looked up at her remorse filling my veins while tears threatened to fall from my eyes, my lip trembling.

“Mom I didn’t mean to but they can’t talk about you like that.”

My mom sighed but she sat the paper down.

“Okay first of all who? Who can’t talk about me?”

I looked at her, a tear slid down my face, my voice broke while I tried to explain it to her.

“Baby calm down and just explain it to me I’m not upset I’m just trying to understand.”

“W-well Carol made some stupid poster about me kissing Steve Harrington, then I lost nancy because she’s dating Steve, I went to the bathroom to cry then next thing I know carol said stuff about you guys and I just lost it. So I hit her.”

My mom frowned letting out a breath.

“Okay yeah well first of all you should t have ever hit that girl, is she okay?”

I shrugged at her.

“I don’t know, I think I broke her nose mom.”

She frowned then rubbed her temples.

“I understand you were upset but hitting people is never the answer so you hear me Sara? Next time you see her you need to apologize.”

I nodded, looking at her.

“Mom can I please have a hug?”

She laughed nodding her head.

“Of course but you also need to talk to Nancy and get that sorted out.”

I sighed while I walked Into her arms, wrapping them around her.

“Yes ma’am.”

She smiled while she rubbed my back.

“That’s my girl but you’re grounded until you get out of ISS and no going anywhere but here school and work.”

I nodded knowing the punishment wasn’t as bad as it could have been, but that was my consequences for my actions. I just have no idea how I’m going to talk to Nancy. 

A/N: thanks for the support, I hope y’all liked this chapter I’ll have six out at some point so keep a look out for it.

[imagineaworlds]

You’re Scaring Me -- Billy Hargrove

Written By: @aliedelanie

Request: “Could i get a billy? she is shy and kind, a total hufflepuff. she catches his attention and he tries to 'woo' her. bring her (stolen) flowers, talk to her in the halls, in class (which she dosent appreciate), offer her rides home, even make her a mixtape of his heavy metal. she starts to see his good side, but when he beats up steve, she stays behind at the Byers with him (hes probably handcuffed down for her saftey) and tells him she cant be with a guy like him unless he changes. thanks, <3 u!” “I would like to request a billy x reader thing with the scene from the last episode where billy is at the Byers house and fights against Steve and the reader is also there and she tries to calm him down and everything. Please some fluff and crying. I love your writing! I’m a big fan.”

Warnings: Cursing. Violence. (16+)

Pairing: Billy Hargrove x Reader

Words: 2684

Listen to: Stand By Me by Bootstraps

The Byers’ house was fuller than normal, with a group of kids running around to make plans to take down an out-of-this-world monster, while me and Steve chased after them to talk them out of it. When the other’s had left, me and Steve took on the responsibility of watching over all of the kids, and so far it wasn’t going very well. Not to mention, my head was spinning with a raging headache that was caused from thinking so hard on the day before. Before I found myself in the Byers’ home with the new knowledge of this so called “Mindflayer”, I was just a normal teenager who had a fairly normal life. Normal parents, a normal sister, a normal boyfriend— well, I guess Billy wasn’t all that normal. But when I met him, I tried my very hardest to help him become better than his father and defeat this anger inside of himself. Our relationship started with a strong friendship when we instantly connected. I don’t think either of us expected that we would start dating, because at first we both swore that we would never grow too attached. I guess he didn’t want to hurt me.

But, that promise didn’t last long, and soon after he asked me out. The first few times he asked me, I said no. And each time I said no, he tried harder. He would bring me flowers— granted, they were stolen— he would lean over me when I would sit at my desk between periods, and he would stand close to me as he pressed me against the lockers before and after school. I don’t know how it was I held out for so long before giving in and saying yes. After that, we were definitely inseparable, and our relationship only grew stronger, and when he was around me, I saw a real change in his personality. Billy was desperately trying to be better than his father and not take out his built up feelings on others. To say I was proud of him, was an understatement.

Yet, all that thinking about him and how I didn’t want him caught up in this big mess, made my head hurt and distracted me from watching over the kids. I was blindly following them around the house, not really paying attention, until I saw out of the corner of my eye car headlights shining through the living room windows. There was the familiar engine revering up to the house that really caught my interest, and both me and Max ran to the window. Though Billy didn’t exactly get along with Max, I thought of her as my little sister. But as we both approached the window, I had a smile attached to my face, while she had a look of fright. Soon, it dawned on me that if he came into the house, he’d instantly be wrapped up in all of this, and I didn’t want that.

“It’s my brother…” Max whispered. “He’ll kill me if he finds out that I’m here.”

I turned to Steve, “You have to get him to go away,” I told him. “He can’t know about any of this.” Our attention was brought back to the window when his car’s tires came to a screeching halt and he turned off the ignition.

“Stay here, all of you,” Steve said as he opened the door and went outside.

Billy climbed out of the car and slammed the door shut, “Where is she, Harrington?” he said loudly, almost demanding— no, not almost… definitely demanding.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Steve lied.

Billy chuckled, “You know, I’ve been looking for my girl all day. I just wanted to spend some time with her, maybe take her out on a good, honest date. But, I couldn’t find her. Then, I find out that no one can find my bitch of a stepsister, Max. And what a damn fine coincidence it is that I hear they’re hiding out here with you. Now, I trust my girl, she’s loyal to me, I know that— but the thing is, amigo, I don’t trust you, and there lies our problem. So, if you don’t want this to go sideways, and want me to leave peacefully, I suggest you tell them to come out here, and I’ll be on my way.”

Steve shook his head, trying to keep his cool. And for a quick moment I contemplated giving myself up and going outside, but when Max said next convinced me to stay hidden. “What is it that you see in him?” she asked me.

I glanced over at her, “I see the good in him.”

Lucas laughed, “What good? He’s a douchebag.”

“Maybe on the outside, but deep down— once you get to really know him— he’s just pure hearted.”

“Listen, man, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ve never seen your little sister in my life, and I’ve never talked to [y/n],” Steve lied again. He was trying to protect us, but I feared about what Billy might do if he found out Billy was lying.

Billy nodded, trying to think of what to say next, and stomped out his cigarette. “Tell me, Harrington. Do you lie often? Because, you say you’ve never met them before, yet I see them right there.” Billy pointed to us, having seen all of sitting on the couch watching them.

The kids immediately tried to hide, but instead, I ran for the door. “Billy!” I called, running to him, but he didn’t embrace me like he usually would. With a shaky breath, I said to him, “Just leave, Billy… Max is fine, I’ll bring her home when we’re done here.”

Billy hit the roof of his car angrily, making me jump. “You know I can’t do that. My dad… he’ll kill me if I go home without her.”

“Tell him she’s sleeping over at my house, and I’ll explain everything to him in the morning.” I tried to find a solution, while also trying to find any empathy in his eyes.

“Are you screwing him?” Billy suddenly asked, lowering his gaze to his feet. “Is that what this is? Are you screwing Harrington behind my back?”

I gasped, unable to believe that he would ask me such a question. Only minutes ago had he told Steve that he trusted me, but in a matter of seconds I saw that trust leave him. “No. Billy, I would never, you know that. I love you.” I tried to press a hand to his cheek to get him to look at me, but he slapped my hand away.

“Hey!” Steve erupted, stepping between us. “Don’t you ever touch her like that again.”

Suddenly, Billy looked up and knocked Steve over and kicked him in the stomach. “Don’t talk to me like that, Harrington.” Billy kicked Steve again. “I’m going to take my dumb, redheaded bitch of a stepsister, and leave. You can either stay down or fight me. Either way, I will leave here with Max.” Steve stayed on the ground, and for a moment as Billy stepped over Steve, I feared that he would let Billy take Max. And I was too paralyzed to move after watching Billy be that way with me. Everything we had both worked so hard to reverse in him, instantly came back out of jealousy and fear. “You stay here, [y/n]. I’m not done with you, yet.” Billy walked into the house, swinging the door open to reveal all of the kids, looking as frightened as ever.

I leaned down and helped Steve to his feet, “Are you okay?” Steve nodded, catching his balance before falling into me. “We have to get Billy out of here.” Steve nodded again, and walked by himself through the door with me following right behind him.

As we entered the house, I heard Billy shout, “You’re so dead, Sinclair!”

Steve didn’t hesitate to run to the kitchen where Billy was, and grab at Billy’s shirt. “Get away from him, you son of a bitch.” I watched as Steve punched Billy right in the nose, and Lucas ran into his friends’ arms. Billy laughed at Steve’s punch as his nose bled, dripping onto the carpet.

Then, Steve just kept hitting and hitting, and Billy let him. Instantly, I felt tears well up in my eyes as the kids cheered on Steve. Billy’s nose got worse and his lip split and started bleeding. When he was backed into the sink, I knew what was about to happen. “Billy, no!” I yelled. But it was too late. Billy grabbed a plate behind him and smashed it over Steve’s head. “Billy stop it!” I cried, “Stop!” Tears were streaming down my face as they fought around the kitchen, Dustin pulled me out of the way at the last second before Steve nearly ran into me. “Billy!” I cupped my hands over my mouth to try and stop my crying, but it only got worse as I sobbed when Max attached herself to me. “Stop it!” I continued as Billy kicked Steve onto the floor and jumped onto him. “Billy! You’re scaring me! Stop! Billy! Enough, Billy!” I ran to him, trying to pull him off of Steve, but he pushed me back, hardly even recognizing what he was doing or that it was me he had pushed. I looked down at Max who was shaking, holding something in her hand. In her hand, she had a needle. “What is that?” I asked through the tears.

Max turned and pointed behind her at a bottle on the counter. “Morphine.”

“Give it to me,” I said, holding out my hand. Max dropped the syringe into my hand and I gripped it hard. I neared Billy slowly, grabbing the syringe properly as I prepared for what would come next. “Billy… Stop it, please… You’re scaring me…” I tried to give him one more chance, but he ignored me. Trying to compose myself and slow down my heavy breathing, I held the syringe up, and without a second thought, I plunged it into Billy’s neck. After it happened, I realized what I had done, and stumbled back out of shock. Billy instantly turned and stood up, looking at me with as though he had been betrayed. “I’m so sorry…”  I cried, reaching for him.

“[y/n]?” he asked before he collapsed. I tried to catch his head before it hit the ground. Crouched down, with his head in my hands, he looked up at me and laughed, “I knew you had a fire in you, babes…”

I looked up at Max who grabbed Steve’s famous bat and threw it over her shoulder. “Billy, from here on out, you leave me and my friends alone, understand?”

Billy groaned, trying to keep his eyes open. “Screw you, brat.”

All of us, excluding the drugged Billy and threatening Max, flinched when she slammed down the bat just between Billy’s legs, fairly close to his crotch. “I said, understand?!” she yelled. “And, until further notice, you leave [y/n] alone.”

Billy shook his head, “I’ll stay away from you and your friends, but I’m never leaving [y/n]...” I sobbed at his words, combing my fingers through his curls to try and get him calm. “I won’t leave her ever again…” Though, he was totally drugged out and unaware of what he was saying, I knew he meant it.

“Max, we have to go,” Mike whispered, not wanting her to aim the bat at him. Max relaxed, and turned to the boys. “Now.” She nodded.

“We have to grab Steve, guys. If Billy wakes up, he’ll murder him,” Dustin said. They all agreed, walking over to the bruised and bloodied, passed out Steve. “[y/n]? Are you going to help?”

I watched as Billy fell asleep in my arms, and I sat down, bringing his head into my lap. “No,” I responded. “I’ll be here for when he wakes up. Maybe I can calm him down.”

“Guys, we have no way of getting there,” Lucas interrupted. I dug the keys out of Billy’s pocket and tossed them at Max. “Are you insane?”

I shook my head, “No. I’ve driven with Max before, I trust her. As long as you stay under the speed limit and don’t crash the car, we won’t have any problems. Besides, I don’t want Billy to be driving when he wakes up, so this will be a good excuse. Now, go.” The boys quickly went to pick up Steve and carry him out of the house. Mike and Lucas each took an arm, and Dustin took both of his legs.

When they were nearly out the door, Max came over to me. “Do you still see the good in him?” she asked me.

Without looking at her, I said, “Just leave, Max.” She turned and left the house, closing the door behind her. I looked down at Billy, still combing my fingers through his hair. “Babe… I thought you were better. You had come so far, and I thought you were different. Maybe I was in over my head. Maybe you can’t be fixed and Max is right. Maybe you don’t have any good in you like I hoped you did.” But I refused to believe what I was saying. Deep down, somewhere in that blackened heart of his, Billy Hargrove was good, and I was still determined to show that.

Four Hours Later

I had fallen asleep leaning against the couch with Billy’s head cradled in my lap. It had been a long night, and I knew that it would take a while for him to gain consciousness. I tried to stay awake as long as I could, but my headache and drowsiness from crying got the better of me and knocked me out pretty fast. But I woke up just as fast when Billy gasped for air, sitting up quickly, as he woke up. I was startled by this, thinking that the demodogs may have returned, but I calmed down when I realized what had happened.

Alarmed, Billy turned to me. I saw a tear fall down his cheek as he saw me. My hair was undoubtedly tangled and my eyes were puffy from crying so much. “Oh, my god…” he whispered, crawling away from me. “I did this. I’m— I’m a monster.” Billy tucked his legs to his chest. “I— I hurt you… And Steve… What was that? That wasn’t me…” Billy tried to hide his tears from me, but I knew better, and seeing him hurt like that brought tears to my eyes, too. “I’m such a fucking monster.”

My heart shattered watching him. “No, you’re not, Billy… It’s just, I thought we had gotten past this. What happened?”

Billy shrugged. “I— I don’t know. I thought that you and Steve��� I was just jealous of him, and angry with both him and you.”

“But you know that I’d never cheat on you, Billy. Come on.”

“I know… God, I’m so sorry. I know you can never forgive me.”

“You’re wrong, Billy.” He looked up at me. “I can forgive you. It’ll take time, but I know in my heart that I can forgive you. And you will get better. I promise.” I crawled over to him, pulling his legs down so that he wasn’t guarding himself from me. He shivered at my touch, scared to be near me after what had happened, but I wasn’t scared. “I love you, Billy Hargrove. But, you really have to try for me if we’re going to keep doing this.”

“I know, I know. I will. I’m sorry I scared you. God, I love you.” He leaned forward carefully and placed a hand against my cheek. Cautious to catch any of my signals, Billy slowly brought his lips to mine. “I want to get better, I really do. I don’t want to be like my dad anymore.” I leaned in and kissed him. He pulled away, “I don’t deserve you.” I ignored him and kissed him again.

[loonyloomy]

Stranger Things things

Steve and Dustin friendship was EXCELLENT

BABYSITTER STEVE IN GENERAL. AND BEATEN-TO-SHIT STEVE WITH COLOURFUL BANDAIDS IS LIFE I need all of the gifs and fan art of that please

I feel so sorry for my housemate listening to me talking to all the characters while I was watching lmao

Most particularly saying “don’t die don’t die don’t die don’t die DON’T DIE”

PLEASE GIVE JANE AND WILL ALL THE HAPPINESS THEY DESERVE JESUS CHRIST WILL SUFFERED SO MUCH, AGAIN!!! THAT SCENE WHERE HE FIRST DESCRIBED THE SHADOW MONSTER BEING INSIDE HIM KILLED ME

I hope it’s just a thing that the Byers household will constantly be in some form of creative disarray every season

“SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT”

“I’m going on a curiosity voyage and these books are my paddles. I NEED MY PADDLES.”

Way too much romance holy fuck did they not think they were overdoing it between the Steve/Jonathan/Nancy triangle, Dustin/Max/Lucas triangle, Mike/Eleven, Joyce/Bob, Snow Ball coupling off AND THAT REALLY WEIRD BILLY/MRS WHEELER MOMENT???

I know it was trying to be funny but that moment and the Awkward Jancy Pretending Guy Is Wrong moment were just. Not quite there.

So. Jancy now. It. Could have been worse for my own personal Stoncy agenda, at least none of them are dead and they don’t completely hate each other AND AT LEAST STEVE HAS AN AWESOME ROLE IN THE GROUP FOR SEASON 3

(”Your other boyfriend” omg)

But yeah I feel like the whole thing that was appealing about the three of them is that it was a good twist to redeem Steve and not present Jonathan and Nancy in an Underdog Gets The Girl story. So it’s funny to let go of that subverted trope and tell a more predictable story

(But it’s the fan favourite so more people will be happy this way so props to you Jancy shippers, at least Unresolved Sexual Tension got resolved)

(And I assume now all the Stoncy love triangle stuff will be dropped which would be a victory in and of itself)

I thought they might try and swing for some better representation this season but it’s not great

I also thought it was going to be canon that Will was gay and I feel DECEIVED WHO LET ME BELIEVE THAT

If I had any shred of maternal instinct it would all go to Jane/Eleven my poor sweet baby I’m so proud of her (JANE HOPPER JANE HOPPER JANE HOPPER!!!)

KALI WAS COOL IT WAS VERY COOL TO SEE ANOTHER KIND OF POWER

I spent this season thinking something really tragic would happen and it never did

Like I had unrealistic expectations of how willing they would be to kill off a major character

And when Dart came back I was really expecting them to go with the kinda darker “Doesn’t matter that Dustin took care of it IT’S EVIL”

I mean there was Bob but I did not find that very emotional at all sorry dude

I think I had other thoughts but I’m. Not expecting people to read or enjoy my weird ramblings I’m just writing them down here because otherwise I’d just be talking to myself

more than I have already been doing anyway

okay bye ilu

[hawkinsschoolcounselor]

Were we Gay-Baited? The Issue of Will and Byler/Byeler, a Discussion of Apophenia, Identification, and Empathy

I’ve been struggling with my own feelings since finishing Stranger Things 3. Curiously, I find myself being overcome with rage and disappointment, which isn’t how one is usually meant to feel about a TV show. It wasn’t a bad season by any means, though I do think it was the weakest of the three so far. The one biggest point I find myself stuck on is the treatment of Will Byers, not just as a character, but as a reflection of my own experiences and feelings. Identification happens all the time when we engage with fiction. Sometimes we are meant to do so, while other times it is due to how we interpret otherwise ambiguous aspects of a character or story. It’s an aspect of empathy, as we’re feeling the emotions (or at least what we believe to be the emotions) of a character.  I identified with Will back in Season 1. It looked like they were building, slowly, but surely, towards Will being gay, and I let myself build this idea that his struggles with the Upside Down and the Mindflayer were a metaphor for him coming to terms with these feelings he had for his best friend. I saw the Upside Down as an allegory for being in the closet. A dark, lonely, scary version of the real world. I don’t know if Barb was meant to be seen as a lesbian, but I latched onto that as support for my theory. It was after being left alone by Nancy that she is captured and killed by the Demogorgon. She felt alone and rejected, and subsequently was consumed by the despair that comes with hiding. Will, however, was able to get out due to the overwhelming love and support of his friends and family. Was I wrong to make this assumption? Possibly. Then Season 2 happened, and I don’t know what else we were meant to think.

For reasons we never really find out, at least in the show itself, Will finds himself being stalked by the Mindflayer roughly a year after escaping the Upside Down. This creature wants Will, and apparently only Will. The simple explanation, I suppose, is that it wants what it sees to be his. Will got away, the Mindflayer isn’t ok with that, and this all ensures that our main cast are at the center of the story. I read into it deeper though, which was probably a mistake. This happens during an election year, and Reagan signs are prominently displayed. The AIDS crisis was in full swing, and still mainly seen as a gay disease. Will still doesn’t feel safe, and doesn’t even fully understand how he feels. He flashes back into the Upside Down, feeling targeted and watched. Mike is generally able to pull him back out, and Will seems to seek out the safety of his best friend. Mike is the only one he trusts. Mike is safety, comfort, and unconditional love. He’s special, at least to Will. 

It is again love that saves Will. Joyce, Johnathan, and Mike get through to Will by sharing stories meant to express how they feel about Will. Joyce loves her son, and is proud of his rainbow ship. This was unnecessarily specific if it wasn’t meant to be gay coding. Johnathan shares the building of Castle Byers, Will’s safe haven, after their dad left, The same dad who would call Will a fag. We see Will start to waver, ever so slightly, as they start to reach him, but the kicker is when Mike starts. Mike shares the story of when they first met. He remembers it in surprising detail, and it’s the oldest memory out of the three so far mentioned. Mike is barely keeping himself together as he relates walking up to Will on the first day of kindergarten. He’s so overwhelmed by the memory himself, repeating that Will said yes to being his friend, as if he cherished it immeasurably, and goes on to say it was the best thing he’s ever done. Despite the Mindflayer’s control, Will himself is barely holding back tears at this moment and we see emotion on his face for the first time since being fully possessed. He’s able to start with the morse code. Mike is the one who ultimately broke through. I read this as him being the single most important person in Will’s life, but was it that, or was it simply that he was the last to speak? It’s hard to tell the intent here, especially as Mike’s attention leaves Will as soon as Eleven returns shortly thereafter. All we’re left with is a look at Mike when Will is asked to dance, and his fake smile faltering as he glances at Mike dancing with Eleven. More curious decisions that could be something, or may be nothing.

This brings us to Season 3, where my confusion, annoyance, and anger boil over more with each episode. We start with scenes that I felt did a good job showing an emotional conflict set up by the end of Season 2: how does Mike find room for both Will and Eleven? Mike is shown obsessively attached to Eleven, which is reasonable given his age and his fear of losing her again, and we also see him going to the movies with Will, Lucas, and Max. The latter scene is oddly double-date like, to the point where they don’t sit together, putting Mike and Will separate from Lucas and Max as if to highlight the two separate couples. Lucas and Max get some playful banter in (pretty much the last we see of their relationship this season), and Mike is shown still harboring concern for Will. I found it odd when Mike asked if Will was ok, as Will hadn’t really done anything unusual. The suggestion, at least to me, was that Mike is still paying close attention to Will, and this made sense, as he would have a fear of losing Will the same as he does with Eleven. After this we see Will mope over the amount of time Mike spends with Eleven, but he has no complaints about his other friends. His obsession over D&D is over the top and jarring, and very much out of character. He’s a fully fleshed out character with multiple interests, but all he wants to do is D&D, why? I don’t really have a great answer for that beyond it being bad writing just to set up a later scene. That brings us to their fight, which fully ignited my hopes that they’d continue this build-up.

Will loses it when Mike and Lucas seem to mock his campaign. They don’t really dislike it, they just aren’t engaged due to girl troubles. His anger, though, seems focused on Mike. Will feels betrayed, and laments his loss of the Party due to girls, but he never blames anyone but Mike, even though Lucas and Dustin are similarly focused on girls. He calls El a “stupid girl”, and that wouldn’t be unusual given the situation had we been shown any interactions between El and Will or given exposition to inform us that the two of them get along. Indeed, I got the impression that Will still hasn’t had any meaningful interactions with her, since it’s implied she’s constantly with Mike and only Mike. The only time we see her out with the Party, before the crisis begins anyway, Mike bails with her very quickly. Will resents El. She’s stealing Mike away from him. That’s how I saw it anyway, and I remember feeling that way many a time at that age. At this point, you might still be able to argue it was just Will mad he’s losing his best friend, but then that one line comes. “It’s not my fault you don’t like girls!” 

This line could have been done in any number of other ways if the implication was anything other than Will is gay and has feelings for Mike (any maybe thought Mike might like him as well). Mike could have told Will he needs to grow up or that it’s not his fault Will doesn’t have a girlfriend. But, no, Will simply doesn’t like girls. Will’s reaction speaks volumes, despite him not being able to talk. Up to that point, Will had been jabbing Mike with accusations, but as soon as Mike says this he’s stone silent. Lips quivering and eyes watering, he stares at Mike in disbelief and fear. To his credit, Mike immediately realizes he crossed a line and softens his approach, something we never see him do when he fights with anyone else. The damage is done, however, and Will’s final words “I guess I did. I really did.” screamed of a breakup to me. Will thought it’d be him and Mike forever. He destroys Castle Byers in a rage, berating himself for being stupid. It’s no longer a safe haven for him, as it is filled with memories of his childhood. A childhood spent with Mike.

This whole scene is never addressed again by the two of them. Lucas is shut down in an attempted apology, and I saw this as Will not wanting an apology from him and not willing to discuss the situation. It still felt very aborted, as if that quick scene with Will and Lucas was meant to tell the audience that, nope, we’re not getting into that. He and Mike have no real significant interactions throughout the rest of the season, though Will is shown reacting negatively anytime Mike expresses his feelings for Eleven. Our attention is never really drawn to it, but it’s there. This takes us to the finale, where Mike’s goodbye to Will is oddly quick for friends as close as they were supposed to be. Mike expresses worry that Will would move on and replace him, and Will reassures him that such a thing would never happen. I like how they had Mike smile perhaps his most genuine smile of the season here, but it still felt odd. When they hug outside right before the end, it’s again quick and not indicative of the emotion that should be there. Will seems to linger in the hug a bit, but Mike staggers away to Eleven. Mike’s attention seems to be solely on Eleven as the Byers leave, though he glances back at the house that he shouldn’t really associate with her. The final scene is a near perfect mirror of Season 1 when he thought Will was dead. It was confusing, possibly intentionally so, but why? 

Mr. Clark brings up apophenia when speaking with Joyce. It’s the tendency for humans to spot patterns where there are none. As humans, we like for there to be explanations for everything. There are no coincidences, we just haven’t figured out how things fit together. Part of me wonders if this whole line of conversation was targeted at fans, such as myself, who read too deeply into Mike and Will’s relationship, and possibly Will’s possibly homosexuality. I could understand how it could be used to cast doubt on Joyce’s fears. However, it ends up having no real bearing on the plot, as Joyce is relatively quickly shown to be correct in her suspicions. 

In the end, I’m left to wonder if this whole idea of Will being gay, and possibly Mike and Will being subtextually written as a couple, was simply a case of apophenia. My empathy for Will and identification with him could have caused me to misinterpret things to fit my own personal experiences and unfulfilled adolescent wishes. The dissonance caused by what I thought and what I’m now seeing is what is causing my anger and disappointment. It’s having me relive what I felt so long ago where all I wanted was to see a boy like me happy on TV or in movies. I thought this was going to be what I never had, but, though we still have Season 4 yet to come, it looks like it was simply a case of seeing what we wanted to see. Still, the way they did it reeks of gay-baiting, and I feel used.