#the whole series is fantastic and i was hooked in every single one of them

[aka-indulgence]

for the ask game... 🎩 :3c?

Oughhhh my brain…. theres so many vague ones from my childhood that I have to remember… oh, I’ve got one that definitely put me through a wringer of emotions I didn’t understand at the time fjhdkshfd

The Green Death from the first How to Train Your Dragon book!! (Fun fact it was and might still be my favorite book series of all time. I definitely have fond memories of it.) The Green Death also one of the guys that changed my brain chemistry forever (Giant threatening dragon. Giant monster. Oof)

There’s no pictures of him I can find 😭 but there were illustrations in the book. He’s a Seadragonus Giganticus Maximus, and he’s so large you never get a full body illustration of the guy, only his eye, his teeth or a talon… brhhh

For context the Green Death washed up on Berk. The Berkians tried to do a war cry to scare it away but he basically scoffs at it and proceeds to roar the bones out of their skin and they couldn’t figure out what to do. So Hiccup, someone who can speak Dragonese, goes up to talk with him on his own to try to persuade him away with words.

He proceeds to have a really tense chapter where the dragon wakes up from his nap and repeatedly, casually threatens his life, speaking about the different ways he could kill/eat him, his eye is taller than a human,

One scene is when he talks about how he’d go about deboning a human and a giant claw lands on the cliff Hiccup’s standing on.

And then later on through plot reasons the dragon becomes enraged at Hiccup in particular and ignores every other human running away from him to pursue him specifically

Needless to say the chapter where Hiccup talks with the Green Death was kid me’s favorite. I kept rereading it. And I was like “why do I really like this part.” LMAO

[lewmagoo]

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ringing in the new year ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆

here’s to 2022

what a year it’s been. among everything that has taken place, one of the best decisions i made was creating this blog. in my 13+ years in fandom and different writing communities, none of them have ever been as warm or welcoming as this one. the response my writing has gotten has been overwhelming in the best way. many of you are so quick to leave comments and words of encouragement and it means more than you could ever know.

as a thank you for all the love and support, i wanted to highlight some of my favorite fics of the year. this is by no means an extensive list, and i'm sure i will miss some, because there's no way i could highlight every single great story i've read. there are too many fantastic writers in this community for me to do so.

without further adieu:

leah's 2022 library

robert floyd fics

my love, forever collection by @robertcallsignbobfloyd - this series is heart wrenching and beautiful. i find myself thinking about it again from time to time and wishing i could read it from the beginning all over again and experience all the emotions it made me feel for the first time. truly a masterpiece.

navy boy, country girl by @clints-lucky-arrow - this fic turned my world upside down, let me tell you. i love the idea of bob as a cowboy. and the line "But I hear that you’ve become quite the cowgirl. So, do what you do best, darlin’. Ride." quite literally sent me into another plane of existence. such a sexy story. delicious, really.

weather the storm by @wildbornsiren - this is such a sweet story. heartbreaking in the best way. this line: He nods, and you can feel the wet spot on your shirt from his tears. “You’re a safe place.” truly touched me deep within my soul. just a wonderful piece of writing, truly.

morning after by @mothdruid - this one is just too good. little bit of humor sprinkled throughout. also, great proponent of the #bobfucks agenda. i had such a good time reading this, and often find myself rereading it.

no shame by @beachbabey - i really have no words. just, bob with a mommy kink. what more could you ask for? gosh it's just such a fun read, and the way he's just so subby and sweet the whole time? i could die

the phone call by @sebsxphia - the anguish in this story is just so heart wrenching. it's short and to the point but manages to make you feel so many emotions at once while reading it. such a good, angsty read

rhett abbott fics

the trouble with books by @hederasgarden - god this is just so HOT. got me all flustered and warm under the collar. it never gets old, even after i've read it multiple times. i can't even describe how much i loved every minute of it (as well as part 2), you just have to read it for yourself and see.

stand by your man by @a-reader-and-a-writer - so, so good. such a great depiction of hurt/comfort. also does a great job of showcasing rhett's stubbornness. i reread this from time to time and always enjoy myself.

horsemanship by @bradshawsbitch - one of my all time favorite rhett fics! i love, love, love the idea of rhett owning a stubborn mare who only likes him and no one else. god it just makes my heart sing. i will forever adore the idea that he is soft with animals. anyway, this entire story was just such a wonderful read.

please by @h0neyfire - this is just delicious. i enjoyed every minute. just the thought of breaking rhett down and getting him all needy and desperate and pliant for you? fuck, i need to lie down.

bradley bradshaw fics

running series by @lcahwriter - this series will forever be one of my favorites. the way trauma is portrayed in this story is so gripping. sometimes, stories like this can sometimes be over dramatic or sensationalized, but this story is none of those things. very tastefully done. the moment i read the first part i was hooked.

skyrockets in flight, afternoon delight by @gretagerwigsmuse - if i were to truly say how this fic made me feel, it would just be a bunch of unintelligible keyboard smashing, because holy shit. it's so damn sexy. one of those stories you can't stop thinking about long after you've read it.

the better man by @bradshawsbaby - i really loved the way the tables were turned in this story. usually it's bradley defending the reader from some asshole's unwanted attention, but this showcased what might take place if it were the other way around and bradley's girl was defending him. such an enjoyable piece, i had such a good time reading it.

idle time by @hangmanbrainrot - the angst in this story just touches something deep within my soul. such a great depiction of bradley's struggles while he has time off. it was something so relatable and personal to me.

jake seresin fics

i and love and you by @halfway-happyyy - this one hurt so good. the way hurt and betrayal is portrayed in this is so emotionally stirring. this story fully made me cry as i was reading it. so worth the read.

who did this to you? by @justfandomwritings - this is probably one of my favorite stories born out of the who did this to you? trope. the situation is portrayed so well. it's not over the top either. very well done.

fair game by @sunlightmurdock - when i tell you this one knocked me the fuck out!!! my jaw dropped. SO good. if you love drama you will LOVE this. jake is such a bitch and it's wonderful.

if devotion is a river (then i'm floating away) by @seasonsbloom - i'm at a bit of a loss for words with this one. it is truly breathtaking. every time i read it, it's like i'm reading it for the first time all over again. it's like reading poetry. absolutely wonderful.

there are so many more i could mention, but this post would never end if i did so, so i'll keep it brief. thank you all for your contributions. such talented, talented people.

extra shoutout to my lovely mutuals 🥰

@withahappyrefrain @wildbornsiren @rhettabbotts @roosterforme @roostache @robertcallsignbobfloyd @rooster-bradshaw @thesluttyarchivist @theharddeck @topguncortez @top-gun-rooster @imjess-themess @sebsxphia @sunlightmurdock @shouldershimmycity @floyd-luvr @gretagerwigsmuse @glodessa @halfway-happyyy @hangmanapologist @hausofobsession @hangmanbrainrot @lcahwriter @victoriapedrcttis @bobfloydsbabe @bussyslayer333 @bebetriste @notyoursbutlewis @notroosterbradshaw @mothdruid @mayhem24-7forever @milesmillergf ✨

[andswarwrites]

Day 18

While I have nothing against Star Trek and Star Wars, I feel like they're so "mainstream" as far as science fiction goes that you are expected to hand in your sci-fi nerd card if you don't love either or both.  So when I tell people I like science fiction, I'm expected to be a fan of either franchise. I grew up watching Voyager, so my first captain was Janeway.  I also knew the crew of the original series thanks to the movies which I watched with my family.  After I married S-, he and I watched a few seasons of The Next Generation.  Ah yes, and more recently we watched Picard, but only the first season.  That about sums up my experience with the Trekking of Stars.

As for Star Wars, I watched Episodes 4, 5 and 6 as a teenager when my parents rented them for me from the library.  I had expressed an interest in seeing them.  I enjoyed them, but I didn't get completely absorbed into the universe as I later would with Stargate, and I didn't watch the story unfold with amazement as I would when I watched Babylon 5.  I was not impressed with Episodes 1 to 3, especially not 3; I preferred Genndy Tartakovsky's Clone Wars mini series (2003).  I've played Star Wars as a tabletop game, I've read some of the fiction, and I am such a fan of The Mandalorian that the theme song is my ring tone.

I also enjoyed the quirky randomness of Doctor Who from Doctors 9 to 11. BBC made a movie called An Adventure in Space and Time (2013) which tells the story of how this incredible show came about.  On my to-do list is to watch all of the 26 seasons of the original run from 1964 to 1989.  If you think that is an overwhelming objective, I also want to watch every single episode of One Piece. A girl can dream. 

I'll make the argument that I became a science fiction lover thanks to books, more than anything. When I first read the Foundation series, and then the robot-themed short stories by Isaac Asimov, I was hooked.  Cities in Flight by James Blish, Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card, more recently The Martian by Andy Weir: these are books that make me forget what planet I'm on.  I know technically science fiction is a genre that is supposed to be speculative in its nature, positing how society would be affected if a certain technology existed.  As far as I'm concerned, whether it's set in the future or in space, if it takes me on a fantastic voyage (see what I did there?) I call it sci fi.

When S- bought the boxed set of Firefly and had me watch it while we were dating, he did not know how those fourteen episodes were going to affect me.  For a while, I watched the whole series over with every new season, so that was four times a year.  It got that I could recite entire scenes, playing each character in turn, with the proper inflection in the dialogue and even matching facial expressions.  It's been a while since I watched Firefly, but I'm planning to watch it this summer with N-.  I can't wait to see her reaction.

What I loved about Lost in Space is that it was about a family, and how each one of them was equipped with a separate set of skills, but when they combine those skills they can overcome so much together.  I don't really enjoy boiler plate stories.  In fact, one of the reasons I had terrible writer's block in my twenties is the concept that "there is nothing new under the sun".  Yet.  Every individual is unique, right?  So every storyteller, even if they are telling the same story, has the ability to make it their own and share their own unique perspective.

I could go on about all the science fiction books, shows and movies I enjoy, but I think the point has been made.  I don't consider myself an "expert" by any means.  I just know what I like, and I am not embarrassed or intimidated.  I like a story that doesn't take itself too seriously.  I like well-rounded characters with a little angst.  I like a setting that can absorb me completely into another time and/or place.  I especially love a mind-blowing twist, or a  heartwarming denouement or a thought-provoking conclusion.

So I've made my case.  As far as I'm concerned, I'm a science fiction fan. I may be a tepid fan of Star Wars and Star Trek, but I still get to proclaim my love of sci fi.  In French there is a saying "les gouts ne sont pas a discuter" - tastes are not to be discussed.  Even so I like to discuss them.  I always have.  If I meet someone who hates or loves certain media as much as I do, I have the nerdiest response: I gesture emphatically, my voice goes up a pitch, I express my enthusiasm at having found a kindred spirit.

I'm not limited to science fiction.  I like historical fiction, fantasy, coming of age stories.  I'm a major fan of comedies, though a lot of the shows I like can actually be classified as dramedies.  And I simply love animated movies.  I have since I was a kid, and the love has never faded, in fact it has only deepened.  I wonder if I'll always be this intense fangirl, with passion and fire for what she likes?  I recently went to the movies and I saw a group of guys standing around, discussing easter eggs and certain scenes, and making predictions about sequels.  I remember doing that.  I still do, in the car on the ride home with S-.  I guess he's my favorite person to talk to about this topic, because he knows me so well and it's always safe to share my point of view.

It's interesting, I feel more self conscious about sharing on this topic than I did about anything else this month.  I think I've got something very backward here.

[unjest]

YET MORE AUDIOBOOK THOUGHTS- THIS TIME THERES GOOD ONES

Midnight for Charlie Bone: Eh. I grabbed this because it popped up while i was browsing and i remembered liking it as a kid. It was pretty decent in terms of narration and worked for a shift but i chose to find something else the next shift instead of finishing this one

Guardians of Ga'Hoole (books 1-2): i still love this series and the first book in particularis fucking fantastic and it was decent for listening during work but some of the voices were just. So grating. Gave up partway thru book 2.

Redwall (book 1): Once again a solid series i used to like as a kid but this one was also pretty mid. Some of the voices were annoying, and i also vaguely remeber the wall as like. One of my least favorite of the series but didnt realize that until after a full shift. Iirc the ones i liked best were salamadastron and martin the warrior. but yeah no i didnt finish this one either

Annihilation (southern reach book 1): holy shit. HOOOOOOLY shit. holy fucking shit man. Genuinely fucking flooring experience. I hadn't read the book before listening to the audiobook and i really think that enhanced my experience. Fun fact tho i actually dropped it really early on (right about when the expedition first reaches the tower) because i had finally gotten red rising off hold and i was a bit wary of this one because the narration starts out SUPER flat and clinical. but man im so fucking glad i gave it a second chance because i really did stop RIGHT before the point where it hooked me. The narration is actually REALLY perfect considering the context of the story itself and helps characterize the biologist even further, especially since it sort of... unravels by the end. Really good book, REALLY good narration. Downright fucking HAUNTING at times. Cannot overstate how much im obsessed with this series now.

Red Rising (books 1-3): ALSO REALLY FUCKING GOOD. i read this years ago but its elevated SO well by the audiobook reading. The accent work ALONE is fucking stunning, but the EMOTION. theres a point partway thru the first book where Darrow gets stabbed in the gut and is bleeding out and the narration is fucking PERFECT. He sounds sooo miserable <3 And the quality is maintained throughout all three books, which is SUCH a nice surprise. So many audiobooks with a good first reading decline dramstically by book 2. Definitely one of my favorite audiobook adaptations so far.

Authority (southern reach book 2): usually i like grouping books in a series together if i listened to them relatively closely together because im more judging them as a whole, but i just cant with annihilation and authority. This is because Authority actually has a completely different narrator than Annihilation. Usually i count that against a book, but in this case? Brilliant fantastic perfect wonderful. Genious decision. Narrator is REALLY fucking good, and further helps contrast how Annihilation was the Biologist's story while this one is Control's story. And i also cannot get over how every other character says Control's name like theyre making fun of him. Every single character is so fucking weird and there are times where i barely understood what anyone was even saying. It was great. Its so fucking good. Its SO fucking good holy SHIT

my thoughts on the stuff ive listened to during work; note that im not basing my reviews on how good the actual book is, its based on how my personal experience was to listen to the audiobook while working in the lab

Animorphs books 1-3: i read this series as a kid but only once, so i was familiar with the story enough to not get distracted but i had forgotten enough of the details to be kept engaged. Voice acting was fine, tolerable to listen to, character voices distinct enough to differentiate without being annoying (albiet with at least one exception). Biggest issue is length- since my shifts are 8 hours, i got through the first 3 books in a single shift, and the specific version i was listening to was split up into a handful of short parts each book so i kept having to switch to the next video, which was way too much of a momentum-stopper (and work interruption) to stick with this series specifically.

The Witcher books 1+2: eh. was fine enough. once again this was something i was familiar enough with to follow without having to worry too much about missing details, while also being somewhat entertaining. i think i liked it a lot better to read than to listen to. voice acting was fine. biggest issue was that i had finally gotten used to the narrator pronouncing dandelion as dan-DIL-leon for the first book but in the second book he switched to pronouncing it as DAN-dee-lion and i had to stop partway through because of it

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: i remember enjoying reading it a lot more than listening. Ill be the first to admit that im kind of picky about audiobook narration and this one just didnt hit right, but was overall a good experience. Voice acting was fine, and the actual story was very entertaining as expected. Perfectly acceptable.

Discworld books 1-2: extremely good listens. Voice acting was great, character voices were fun and fit the characters really well, only skirted the line of being annoying. fantastic story, but not too complicated or unfamiliar, so i could still follow and be entertained while still focusing on work. Will probably continue the series at some point, but giving myself a buffer period before i start up again to avoid series burnout

Malevolent parts 41-44 (catching up with the podcast lol): man. theres just something about listening to a guy getting gutted and filled with maggots while working in the lab of a hospital. like broooo you are going to get sepsis!!! Very good listen, as expected, just kinda funny trying to keep a straight face while talking to coworkers and simultaneously listening to arthur's no good very bad day

Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell: probably the best one so far for what im using these for. The length meant i was able to spend like 4 whole shifts on the one audiobook. Footnotes were incorporated fantastically, narrator and voice acting was phenomenal, and its also pretty much my favorite book of all time. Ive read this SEVERAL times, but because of how fucking huge this thing is theres a lot of details i forgot about or misremembered. Only issue is that it was split up into several audio tracks, so i had to switch to the next one a few times per shift. They were each around 2 hours long however, so it wasnt too inconvenient. Also at one point i fucked up and accidentally skipped like 8 whole hours without realizing until after an hour in where they referenced an event i KNEW i hadnt gotten to yet lol

Catch-22: man they really went all fucking OUT on the voice acting here. All characters are EXTREMELY distinct, so im very easily able to tell who's talking even without speaking tags. One of my pet peeves in audiobooks is when the narrator whisper-yells when a character is meant to be screaming. That does not happen here. Narrator fucking COMMITS. Yelling, sobbing, laughing, all of it. Fucking fantastic. Phenomenal as an audiobook, i think i mightve even enjoyed it even better than actually reading it.

Slaughterhouse-five: man. this one is ALSO an audiobook that is fucking PHENOMENAL. biggest problem is that i got WAYYY too into it. I really needed to just sit down and soak it in, which was not very condusive to a workplace environment. I now have a self-imposed limit where im not going to be listening to any more vonnegut books from now on because i KNOW itll have a similar affect

His majesty's dragon: this one couldve been good, but the recording i found was not. The guy reading it did a big spiel at the beginning of each chapter and kept adding unneeded commentary like it was a middle school read along. Im going to be getting a library card today so i can use libby, so i might come back to this once i get access to an actual official audiobook lol

murder on the orient express: nope. barely lasted three minutes into this one

percy jackson and the lightning thief: see this is an example of something ive actually read too many times as a kid so i know the book too well for an audiobook to be entertaining. Dropped it after less than a chapter.

the kane chronicles: had potential, i remember liking the story a lot as a kid but i hadnt read it nearly as much as the pjo series, and i think it wouldve been at least vaguely entertaining. However, half the book has one of the narrator sdoing a really bad british accent for his sister's voicelines and i just couldnt do it. i didnt have the strength. Dropped after maybe 4 chapters.

Camp Damascus: the only audiobook of the lot that i actually bought, and the first one i got through that i hadnt read the physical book before. Interesting story, ok voice acting. Solid choice to listen to. Not quite what i was expecting, but pretty good story! Had some EXTREMELY gnarly descriptions of body horror thrown in at like. two points of the story maybe. Didnt really affect me personally but kinda threw me off in a 'this feels like a different story entirely' sort of way. Dont have much else to say here since these reviews are more talking about my experience with these as audiobooks specifically, and i havent read the book itself to be able to compare this one.

[btscarnivalnet]

Headliner Of The Month

Hello, Carnival Goers and Performers alike, please give a round of applause for our Headliner of the Month:

Our Wonderful Performer: Sunny @sunshinerainbowsbts

You are our Headliner of the Month!

During this month, we want to showcase your incredible talent and skill and share it with the Carnival! For this month, we want you to pick three fics of yours that you’d like us to showcase, and we also wanted to ask you some questions so we can understand how you write, why and what you want to get across with your fics.

Questions For You:

Three Fics:

Paradise

Covert Affairs

I Wanna Hold Your Hand

When did you start writing fics, and why?

I started writing years ago, when I joined a server dedicated to a wild scifi show called Lexx. Prior to joining, I’d never even heard of fanfiction, but there was a group of authors there posting the most incredible stories, and soon I was hooked. Eventually I reached a point where I wanted to see my favorite characters in specific scenarios that those stories weren’t covering, and it dawned on me that if I wanted to see them, then I needed to write them.

That server is long gone now, and I did not have the foresight to save any of my fics, so they’re all digital dust now. Let that be a lesson to everyone - always backup your stories!

I fell away from writing fanfic for a while, but I kept reading for various fandoms like Harry Potter and the MCU. After a while, I started writing for the MCU when I felt the need to see my own ideas come to life. Then 2020 came and I found BTS and the amazing fanfic community on tumblr. And it happened once again - it wasn’t enough to read the fantastic worlds that Army authors were creating. I had to build my own.

What was your first fic?

Baby

What is your latest fic?

The Hook Up

Why did you choose to write about the fics you have chosen?

Paradise

Paradise is the first series I created. The idea sprang from watching Jungkook’s iconic “My Time” performance and thinking about his duality and wondering - what if your shy neighbor was a sexy stripper by night? It's a very simple idea, for sure, but one that has resulted in about 86,000 words written over eleven chapters published so far! Originally, I thought it would be a short five-part series, but I just fell in love with the characters and decided to slow things down and take my time telling their story. I chose this one because it’s my favorite story to write. Yes, it’s a very self-indulgent story, but isn’t that the whole point of fanfiction in the first place?

I remember being so incredibly nervous to post the teaser. It got some attention, but ironically that just made me even more anxious when the first chapter went up! You never know what kind of response you’re going to get with your stories. I have been so, so lucky that this fic has resonated with a group of readers who keep coming back chapter after chapter. We all know what it’s like to write something we love and feel heartbroken when it doesn’t find its audience.

The story feels like it’s starting to wind down now. I don’t want to stop writing it but I also don’t want to drag it out or have it overstay its welcome. But no matter how long it goes on, I’ll never stop being thankful for every single interaction it’s brought me.

Covert Affairs

This Jungkook Spy!AU was written for a request. It’s an example of when you get the perfect prompt and the words just start flowing - I wrote the whole thing very quickly. I tend to write very visually - I see the action in my head and do my best to transcribe onto the page. That worked really well for this story, which unfolded just like a movie in my imagination.

The reason I picked this story is because of its ending. My blog is kind of unofficially a “happy endings only” blog - the vast majority of my stories are meant to leave the reader in high spirits. The ending of Covert Affairs is very different from my other fics. I reached out to a few writer moots before I posted it, because I was afraid to use the final scene I’d written. But they told me to trust my instincts, and I’m so glad that I did, because I can’t imagine it ending any other way. And it has led me to question what a “happy ending” is, anyway. Does it always mean the hero wins, or that the reader gets the guy? Does it have to be “happily ever after” or can it just be finding peace in the moment?

I Wanna Hold Your Hand

This was one of the first fics I wrote working from a prompt as opposed to coming up with my own idea wholesale. As soon as I read the words “It’s hand-holding season,” I knew two things. One, it had to be a Yoongi fic, and two, it had to be soft. Super soft. Like, curling up on a bed made of marshmallows soft.

I’m largely a smut writer. I like smut. I enjoy reading it and I absolutely love writing it. But not every story necessarily needs a sex scene. I chose this story because I felt like it’s a good example of the type of fluff I like to write. Just a series of quiet moments of two idiots falling in love. I live for those moments. Also, I love how silly it is. I try to imbue a lot of humor into my writing.

What was the most memorable line for you in each of the fics?

Paradise

From chapter one, when reader sees Jungkook on stage for the first time:

Like the statue of a god come to life, marble made flesh and blood, Jeon Jungkook danced before you, more beautiful than any man you’d ever seen.

From chapter six, some banter between Jin and reader. I fucking love writing banter:

“What did I say about being patient?” he inquires, cocking an eyebrow.

“Patience is a virtue,” you remark.

“Yes, it is.” He rubs his thumbs over your wrists and the sensation sends a bolt of electricity to your core.

“I never claimed to be virtuous.”

From chapter nine, an example of me just cracking myself up. Happens frequently in my writing:

Besides, he’s so pretty, lost in his dreams next to you. Why not just lie here and gaze upon his beauty a little longer?

Gaze upon his beauty? Okay, Lord Byron, let’s dial it back a little. And maybe stop staring at him like a creeper.

Covert Affairs

This is one of the first lines I wrote when I saw the prompt and began picturing the little cat-and-mouse game between Spy!Reader and Spy!Jungkook:

His smile is all you can see as he disappears into the shadows, pulling you in. “Why would I let someone else have the pleasure of catching you?”

I Wanna Hold Your Hand

I cheated and chose a paragraph, because it’s hard for me to pick just one of these lines without the context of the others, and I think it shows the way the hand-holding between Yoongi and reader has come to mean so much more:

Snowflakes swirl around you on the trek home, but the air feels heavy with something else. Something unspoken. Everything around you is covered in a fluffy white blanket that shimmers slightly under the streetlights, and you could easily get lost on these streets just as easily as you get lost in your thoughts. But that familiar sensation at your side, Yoongi’s fingers clutching yours, reassures you. It’s a comforting weight, anchoring you in the moment.

What was your writing process like for each fic?

Chaotic as usual. I don’t typically outline my stories - the rare exceptions are my current series Paradise and Versus. For everything else, I normally just have a basic idea - what kicks the story off and how it will be resolved, and then the rest comes as I write it. My ideas come from everywhere - a line of dialogue or a lyric, a conversation with a friend, dreams I’ve had. Occasionally, if an idea seems like it’s going to be more than a quick one-shot, I will do a stream-of-consciousness type of outlining - basically I write a paragraph or two detailing what plot points the story will include.

Also, I have to have noise when I write, either listening to music or just having the tv on in the background. I can’t work in silence. Like I said, chaotic.

I didn’t start outlining Paradise until I was five chapters in. The story kept expanding, so I needed to corral all my thoughts and figure out the timing of the various events. And I write it one chapter at a time. I truly, truly envy authors who have the patience to write multiple chapters or a whole fic before they start posting! I have zero chill when it comes to posting. I want to write and get it out there immediately.

Covert Affairs and I Wanna Hold Your Hand were both written without an outline, over a series of sprints. I’m a big fan of sprinting - it’s helpful to turn off the critical/editing portions of your brain and just let the words roll off your fingertips. Sometimes I end up with a fairly useless mess, but more often than not, I’ll find the crux of a story that way. A lot of times my characters will surprise me with their antics during a sprint.

What do you hope readers will take away from the fics?

I hope they find whatever they are looking for in my stories. Whether it be something they want, like a spicy smut scene, or something they need, like a good laugh. Fanfiction has by and large been a source of comfort for me. It’s often a place I turn to when I need to escape from all the stress in my life. I’d love for my stories to do the same for others. I hope to write fics that will reverberate with people for a long time after reading. Nothing would make me happier than that.

Why do you keep writing? What drives you?

I keep writing because I love it. I have so many worlds within me, all clamoring to be born. What drives me is the desire to share those ideas with others. To say here, I made this for you. I hope you enjoy it. Thank you for reading.

Any writing goals you’ve recently hit? Any goals that you are planning to hit?

I haven’t really had many goals in the past but I’ve had some milestones that I’ve celebrated. I’ve been writing for BTS for over a year now - that was a great marker to hit. My current goal is to wrap up my three series - the two I mentioned above and my Bad Cop!Yoongi series - in a (hopefully) satisfactory manner before I attempt any other series. Future goals include exploring new genres/tropes/kinks in my writing, and then possibly branching out into Stray Kids fanfic - but that’s a ways down the line yet, since I still have so many BTS WIPs in the works!

[yurimother]

The Best Yuri of 2020

2020 was hell in every way, and many of us are looking forward to new possibilities and advances in 2021. However, the year brought us many small moments and gifts worth celebrating. Among these, the explosive growth and change within the Yuri genre are among the most precious and most outstanding achievements. This second century of Yuri opened with a bang, as phenomenal new works, creators, and moments made their mark and helped change the future genre.

This annual list is a celebration of just a handful of the fantastic titles, people, and events in Yuri. There are likely some even greater ones that did not make the list because there is so much content in both English and Japanese that even I cannot keep up. However, among the troves of treasure, these titles stood out as shining examples of Yuri excellence. Some were released this year, others were recently adapted into English, and still, others are established titles that rose to prominence to dominate the conversation and my mind this year, but every one of them is worthy of being on this list and in your heart.

Here is the Best Yuri of 2020!

15: The Curse of Kudan Remastered

Japanese Yuri visual novel developers show no sign of slowing down as they continue to push to new heights and try new ideas. These are the same amazing people who brought us the delightful educational Yuri game The Expression Amrilato and the hilarious and surprisingly queer OshiRabu: Waifus Over Husbando’s. However, this most recent release, The Curse of Kudan Remastered, is their best work yet. Released near Halloween, this game brings a new edge of dark mystery and the occult to Yuri audiences worldwide.

The Curse of Kudan is available on MangaGamer, JAST USA, Denpasoft, and Sekai Project.

14: Adachi and Shimamura

English audiences were finally treated this year to Hitoma Iruma’s long-running and wildly successful Yuri light novel series, Adachi and Shimamura. Although the story struggles to gain traction, dedicated readers’ have their patience rewarded with a sweet tale full of gay pining. Alternatively, you can jump into its stellar anime adaptation, with gorgeous visuals and realized characters you will actually be willing to put up with the annoying Yashiro just to see where the title characters go. The series shows no sign of slowing down either, as the manga adaptation is coming to Western audiences next year.

Adachi and Shimamura is available to stream on Funimation. The light novel series is published by Seven Seas - https://amzn.to/3rTSZTK

Honorable Mention: Happy Go Lucky Days

The OVA adaptation of Fragtime got most of the attention this year. Still, director Takuya Satou and Pony Canyon also gave us this much-overlooked “love is love” anthology movie based on Takako Shimura’s manga (Sweet Blue Flowers, Wandering Son). The first short in the film, “Happy,” is easily the best Yuri anime of the year. It follows the beautiful yet realistic queer love story of two women hooking up at a mutual ex-girlfriend’s wedding, only for the relationship to blossom and warm viewers’ hearts. Sadly, while stylized, the budget demanded the animation cut a few too many corners. Additionally, the subsequent stories are at best tedious and at worst alarmingly problematic, which is why Happy Go Lucky Days only gets an honorable mention.

The OVA is streaming on HIDIVE

13: Mieri Hiranishi

The Yuri scene has many colorful creators with a breadth of different ideas and stories in the genre, yet few have provided as much humor and joy as Mieri. This talented creator spectacularly tumbled into the scene with her manga essay The Moment I Realized I Wasn’t Straight, which embodies the brutal honesty and realism of Nagata Kabi and matches it with exaggerated hilarity. She continues to chronicle her painful struggles of being a butch girl in love with butch girls in the monthly series The Girl that Can’t Get a Girlfriend. Alternatively, you can follow her on Twitter for just as much heart and laughter.

Read The Girl that Can’t get a Girlfriend on Tapas and Webtoon.

12: My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom!

My Next Life as a Villainess has what can only be described as volcanic bisexual energy. Every character protagonist Catarina Claes encounters is entirely enthralled by her. Of course, she is far too preoccupied with her quest to avoid doom flags and change her ultimate fate to notice any romantic interest. The series is rewarding and well structured, as views are just as focused on how Catarina plans to avoid certain doom as they are with the various romantic misses her band of companions cooks up. While the “friendship ending” did not capitalize on its Yuri potential, it was perhaps the most satisfying possibility for this crazy harem, at least until season two comes out, which looks, unfortunately, to be significantly less queer.

My Next Life as a Villainess is streaming on Crunchyroll

11: Love Me for Who I Am

Kata Konayama’s manga series is less Yuri than a general LGBT work, but it has a lesbian character and explores her identity and struggles in great detail. Few titles before have captured the exciting and nervous waves of emotions that young people feel as they explore gender and sexual identities and try to find themselves. This heartfelt and extremely queer series rubberbands between cute moe dress up to tragic and gripping backstory, keeping readers on their toes the whole time.

Love me for Who I Am is published by Seven Seas - https://amzn.to/3rTSZTK

10: A Summer’s End – Hong Kong 1986

Oracle and Bone’s debut visual novel, A Summer’s End, is set in a vibrant and electric 1980’s Hong Kong. Drawing inspiration from classic Asian cinema, music, and fashion. The worlds of Michelle, a young office worker, and a free-spirited woman named Same collide. The two struggle to comprehend and accept each other’s feelings just as they struggle against society’s expectations and prejudices. An incredibly thoughtful and touching adventure, the creators incorporated vital contemporary elements include Asian LGBTQ rights and growing political unrest in Hong Kong, into this illustrious game.

The visual novel is available on Steam.

Honorable Mention: Goodbye, My Rose Garden

In the same vein as A Summer’s End, Goodbye, My Rose Garden is a beautiful period piece that incorporates LGBT views into its shattering narrative. The story follows a bright-eyed immigrant, Hanako, wanting to make a new life in England as an author at the dawn of the twentieth century. She takes a job as a maid to noblewoman Alice, but their relationship takes a turn when Alice asks Hanako to kill her. This poignant tale is beautiful and an honest depiction of love and its conflict with responsibility and society.

Goodbye, My Rose Garden is published by Seven Seas Entertainment - https://amzn.to/3hFSyaG

9: Shio Usui

Usui’s hit Shaikaijin Yuri manga Doughnuts Under a Crescent Moon could easily take this spot even though it is not even out in English until February 2021. The manga is already making waves and receiving constant praise. The characters and their journey to discover love and self-acceptance are as charming as they are relatable and grounded. However, it is the creator, Usui, who really deserves acclaim. Not just for their work on Doughnuts, but having a second serialized story, Onna Tomodachi to Kekkon Shitemita, in monthly Yuri magazine Comic Yuri Hime simultaneously. It is even more remarkable when you consider these two iconic stories are Usui’s first long-running works, as they only contributed one-shots before.

8: Bloom Into You: Regarding Saeki Sayaka

Bloom Into You is possibly the most iconic Yuri series in the past decade, and while the manga deserves its own place on this list, the best thing to come out of the series as a whole is easily the light novels. This trilogy by Adachi and Shimamura creator Hitoma Iruma dives deep into supporting cast member Sayaka. Readers are treated to a delightful journey as she discovers her sexuality, experiences heartbreak, and finally finds herself breaking free and falling in love. With the help of gorgeous illustrations by Nakatani Nio herself, Iruma masterfully captures Sayaka’s unique voice and emotions in this wonderful series. Whether a fan of the originals or not, every Yurijin must check out Regarding Saeki Sayaka.

The light novel series is published by Seven Seas - https://amzn.to/3hFSyaG

7: Our Teachers are Dating

The best a Yuri can get. This workplace romance follows two teachers at the start of a new relationship taking nervous yet enthusiastic first steps, including saying I love you, going on their first date, and even sleeping together. It is so heartfelt and salacious that readers will squeal the whole time. Additionally, our heroines are supported in their relationship by everyone they know, their students, colleagues, and even the principal. It is a perfect world for these two lovebirds! Our Teachers are Dating would easily be number one or two in any other year, but the competition is fierce in 2020. So even though this is only number seven, it is still a master class Yuri manga.

The manga is published by Seven Seas Entertainment - https://amzn.to/38XY3O9

6: Amongst Us

Who would have thought that a comedy alternative universe story spinoff of a fantasy action series would be the single best Yuri webcomic this year? Shilin’s astounding artwork illustrations the hilarious and irresistible journey of girlfriends Blackbird and Veloce. These two eccentric young women get into all kinds of everyday mischief that bounces between tender and touching romance, completely outrageous comedy, and downright thirst-inducing sorcery. Seriously, you should buy the first volume for Veloce’s back muscles alone. The storyline skips between time, but both their established relationship and their meeting as teenagers are adorkable and captivating.

Amongst Us is available online free on Webtoon and the comic’s website. The first volume is in paperback on Shilin’s site.

Honorable Mention: Éclair

There are a lot of Yuri anthologies out there, and they have done some beautiful things. Many focus on themes like Syrup. Others collect a series of stories by an author into one bound work. However, out of all of them, Éclair is the most successful. ASCII Media Works took some of the genre’s most extraordinary creators and let them do whatever they wanted, and the results are spectacular. The incredible talent behind Éclair somehow packs a full volume’s worth of story and character into just a few pages with every chapter. While the first volume came overseas a few years ago, Yen Press gave Yurijin a gift this year by releasing the entire rest of the series in which readers can get lost.

The anthology series is published by Yen Press - https://amzn.to/38XY3O9

5: I’m in Love with the Villainess

A small trend of isekai Yuri with villainesses emerged recently, and I honestly had few hopes of I’m in Love with the Villainess. The series is pretty popular, but I often find that this does not denote quality, and with isekai having some institutional issues, I suspected this would fall flat. Then the volume three cover showcased an incredible accomplishment, allowing for a lesbian relationship to blossom into a family with children, and it blew me away. Finally, I read volume one and realized that the series has incredible character, some of the best world-building I have ever seen in a light novel, thoughtful discussions of inequality and societal issues, and most impressively, open and frank discussion of queer identity and life Yuri has ever seen! This one is something special.

The series is published by Seven Seas Entertainment - https://amzn.to/3nedvdZ

4: The Last of Us Part II

Yes, I know this one is not Yuri and that a portion of the population despises this game and will likely be exceptionally angry at me for including it. However, I maintain that it was an incredibly challenging masterpiece. Naughty Dog did not take the easy route out and delivered one of the most devastating media experiences I have ever seen. As I said in my article about the game, playing it changed me, and it sticks with me to this day. The Last of Us Part II earns its spot on this list because it pushed boundaries more with LGBTQ inclusion than any other AAA game. From brave inclusion of LGBTQ themes to queer characters and storylines at its center, the game changes gaming and it will never go back.

The Last of Us Part II is available on PlayStation 4

3: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power

She-Ra feels like the culmination of all the LGBTQ progress western cartoons have made over the past few years. From The Legend of Korra to Steven Universe, young people are finally seeing more LGBTQ people represented on the small screen. This epic fantasy concluded with an amazing and powerful lesbian romance, delivering on its queer promise and revolutionized representation in a trope-defying crescendo.

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power is streaming on Netflix

2:  The Conditions of Paradise

The greatest single Yuri work of all in 2020 was the English release of Akiko Morishima’s breakthrough manga, The Conditions of Paradise. Initially released in 2007, this anthology detailed the love between adult women. It was in every way a manga ahead of its time, and seeing it finally get a small piece of the recognition it deserves overseas is a true gift. The fact that we can own this legendary piece of Yuri history and Morishima’s other anthologies is nothing short of a blessing from the Yuri goddess.

The Conditions of Paradise is published by Seven Seas Entertainment - https://amzn.to/38bh4xq

Honorable Mention: Otherside Picnic

This eerie sci-fi horror series combines the best of pulse-pounding thrillers, complex and intelligent hard science fiction, and exciting Yuri romance. Author Iori Miyazawa spends as much time crafting a well-paced and intriguing narrative about a mysterious world where occult creatures roam as he does establishing two believable and grounded heroes in Sorawo and Toriko. The romance between the two may be slow to start, but their chemistry is undeniable and as the stakes and story build, so too does their relationship. Not only are the light novels incredible, but the series’ manga adaptation is coming soon to the West as well as an upcoming TV anime in early 2021.

Otherside Picnic is streaming on Funimation. The light novels are published by J-Novel Club - https://amzn.to/3niiv1g

1. Yuri subgenres

For a long time, Yuri was not a genre of its own, but elements of romances or bonds between women found in other works. Now, thanks to an increasing library of works, the advent of social media, and a wider audience, Yuri is a genre on its own, with many creators telling different stories in different styles. However, 2020 saw the continued emergence of something extraordinary, subgenres. Yuri is now so vast, we can actually categorize the works within. Depending on their characters, like classic schoolgirl romances or spicy shakaijin office affairs, their world, such as fantasy or isekai series and thrilling science fiction adventures, and even other elements within. One of my personal favorites is the feminist Yuri that emerges from titles like Sexiled, where women celebrate the accomplishments of other women and dismantle power structures stacked against them. Now, no matter what kind of Yurijin you are, there is something for you to love.

I am happy to leave 2020 behind, but I bring with me a renewed love and admiration for Yuri. 2021 looks to be a somehow even better year for the genre, and I am thrilled to experience every minute of it that I can. Yuri has transformed into something far greater than I ever thought it would be, and let us all enjoy its evolution and expansion together in 2021.

[artbyblastweave]

BLASTWEAVE what does steven universe have in common with watchmen?

Both Steven Universe and Watchmen are groundbreaking entries in their respective genres that demonstrate a deep understanding of the appeal of the genre they’re working in, and engage with their ideas on a previously unheard-of level for the medium. That breaks ground and clears the way for what other works in the genre can get away with. 

Steven Universe showed that, well, first of all that you can make a cartoon that’s fundamentally ideologically queer beyond a few side characters, but also that you can have an emotionally intelligent and mature children's cartoon where the character nuance and depth and development are all taken very seriously. Watchmen showed that you could write serious and interesting narratives about superheroes if you were willing to roll with the crazy. (Neither of them was the first to do the things I’m ascribing to them, but I do think that they’re what made it stick for their respective fields.)

In doing so, though, both works create/created a catch 22 for all future works in their genre. Part of what made both of them so good is that they were willing to critically unpack and air out the ugly implications of their format that usually get chalked up to suspension of disbelief, and now that that’s out in the open it becomes very difficult not to think about how any other given work is or isn’t addressing those issues- even if they aren’t equipped to address those issues in the scope of the story they’re trying to tell. Watchmen asked questions about who sanctions superheroes, what qualifies you to do that work, where the line is between heroism and fascism or if there even is one, whether the agency to act means you have a right or a duty to act, whether anyone who seriously bought into the superhero thing could possibly be doing it for good reasons, and, if they somehow were, how long you can care with the intensity necessary to be an effective hero without suffering burnout (not long.) I literally can’t think of a single superhero thing worth reading that isn’t in some way in conversation with Watchmen - you now kind of have to answer those questions, explicitly or implicitly, even if your books thesis is “Alan Moore sucks eggs and being a superhero is very sustainable and fantastic.” If you just leave the question of whether your superheroes are justified completely unaddressed, there’s an uncomfortable discordance there, because we’ve seen the extreme end of that sliding scale in the form of the Comedian and if the narrative doesn’t engage with what makes the protagonist not Edward Blake, it can feel worrisome. If they try and then botch it it can feel alarming.

Steven Universe has a similar thing going on, at least for me. It’s the only unironic, non-parodic children’s series that’s really, seriously unpacked how fucked up and traumatic it would be to grow up as the archetypical All-loving Spirited Saturday Morning Cartoon Protagonist, how warped and dysfunctional a household that enabled that lifestyle could be at its worst, and what the future looks like when your whole childhood was centered on a now-ended conflict. ( a lot of cartoons flirt with that last one but don’t commit.) I’ve seen jokes and intended-as-cracky fan theories about this for years, surrounding lots of other cartoons (Ben 10, Pokemon, Powerpuff Girls) but almost never with the assumption that the creators are on the same page as them. I’ve seen stories that are post-modern reimaginings using the same general archetypes or whatever (Venture Brothers) but that’s not this! SU told an entertaining story earnestly, and then engaged with the emotional fallout of the story it told, with an unheard-of breadth and depth. A whole season of unpacking! No other show has ever been allowed to sink that much effort into closure. That’s usually what Fanfic is for.

I think it’s great, and that shows like Infinity Train and The Owl House are able to go as hard as they do largely because of Steven Universe’s precedent- but no matter how good a cartoon is, I can’t watch them without having this voice in the back of my head going “Oh, these children are going to grow up to be broken wrecks, bar an extensive and harsh healing process that kinda hurts to watch, huh.”

The issue is that not every cartoon can be Steven Universe, where the project was to thoughtfully and sensitively unpack this stuff. It’s a fair bet that we’ll probably never see a show with that exact project again (not least because of the loss of novelty value.) You’ve got your own stories you wanna tell that’ll run their own course, mostly aimed at children, there objectively isn’t narrative or financial room for most stories to unpack these assumptions if that wasn’t the goal going in. For example, Gravity Falls had pretty tight storytelling and a narrative that absolutely had room for a post-script "where-do-we-go-from-here” plot- it sped-run the “oh no, childhood’s ending” thing- and it’s pretty telling that the aftermath, healing process, interpersonal relationships and so forth are one of the things that that fandom heavily fixates on. The narrative had such a clean ending that it made people go looking for the mess. That’s not bad! It’s how most storytelling works! But now I look at any cartoon with kid heroes that’s meant to be taken even marginally seriously and go, Oh. Win the battle, lose the war. Then I feel sad. The contrast, of course, is that most superhero works actually can be, and in fact benefit from trying to be like Watchmen, because all the questions Watchmen raises about the ethics of power are also just.... like.... the most interesting storytelling hooks if you want to write a cape thing with real themes. They’re the kind of stories we’d have gotten years prior naturally if not for the CCA boondoggle. Admittedly it kinda creates a different problem where most “good” cape media is inescapably self-referential and draws on picking apart the conventions of a 60-70-year old canon that hasn’t been in wide circulation in years. But! I also think there’s a stronger obligation there to keep superhero fans in check- if your superhero thing isn’t making the reader question the ethics of violence and individual heroism in the face of systemic injustice, you wind up with people who unironically think Frank Castle is a role model to be emulated. We all know that guy. Children’s media doesn’t really produce that guy the same way, although it can draw them in from other corners. Superhero media often needs to be self-critical in a way children’s cartoons don’t always have to be.

[grittyreadsfic]

hello my friends, one singular person asked for this weeks ago so i’m here with my most unhinged rec list yet: tk and nolan.

now, this one was hard to reign in, so i really didn’t. this pairing had maybe 230 fics in the tag when i first started reading hockey fic, and it’s now over 900, and i’ve read far too many of them, and that makes it so hard to parse it down. so i just...didn't!

so with that said, please enjoy so you want to get into tknp: a beginners guide to a classic case of idiots to lovers

i told myself that i couldn’t rec an author’s entire body of work but then i remembered this is my blog and i do what i want, so i did some consolidating. here’s a list of the quintessential authors for this pairing, you can start at any of their profiles and pick any of their fics at random, and it’ll be one of the best ones for the pairing, hands down.

therainbowsedge: i’d start with the summer camp fic, or the sex toys one, as both beautifully capture the true idiots to lovers nature of this pairing, but just top tier writing all around

manybumblebees: the wedding fic is so tender and port stanley is a classic, but literally pick any single fic and you’ll have a perfect tknp fic. i’m not kidding

jamesvanriemsdick: their tknp fics in their series are some of the hidden gems of this pairing (the tk heartbeat fic makes me LOSE it) but the delaware fic or the seattle fic…..there’s really something for every mood

catchascatchcan: start with era of gods because i could write literal essays on how it’s some of the best fantasy worldbuilding i’ve ever read, but then just read everything else on their account, including non tknp fics. you won’t regret it

hackysack: ao3 user hackysack has written one of two timeloop fics that i absolutely adore, and i thought about just calling that one out in particular, but all of their work deserves the attention

canary: nothing to prove was the first tknp fic i ever read and i was immediately hooked. all of their fics are a good starting place for the pairing, and just really give you a feeling for the pairing

and now, for the fic recs!

to be, despite it all by smudgedfreckles

summary: or, nolan patrick’s gender thesis, by travis konecny.

why i love it: there’s not a lot ofo nonbinary characters in media, even in fic, but this fic’s treatment of nolan and their path to figuring out their gender just feels so real and made me feel so seen. tk’s characterization is also just top notch, and it’s just a super sweet story about two people who love each other

last ones standing by makeit_takeit

summary: If you’re committed to finding your future spouse, reads the last line of the ad, and are ready to look at yourself and your love life in a whole new way, apply now.

At the bottom of the ad there’s a link, and Travis finds his finger hovering over the screen, lip still caught between his teeth.

“I mean,” he says very reasonably, speaking out loud to his empty apartment like some sort of possibly-crazy person, “just applying doesn’t mean anything. Maybe I just fill it out, and see what happens. It’s not like I’m really gonna get picked to be on TV, come on.”

He snorts out loud, just to show his apartment he hasn’t lost his grip on reality or anything; he fully understands how ludicrous that would be.

Then he clicks the link anyway, because yolo or whatever.

why i love it: what part of a married at first sight fic doesn’t make you want to immediately dive right in? the concept is fun, the execution is absolutely flawless, and it captures their dynamic so well while letting it develop naturally

motivation by connectknee

summary: Kevin knows when to back off, the article said. He knows just when to shut up and leave Patty alone, something Travis has never known how to do.

why i love it: the thing i love about this pairing is that tk is loud and in your face, and nolan’s more reserved, a little quieter, a little harder to read. this fic does a really great job of exploring how tk could feel like maybe he’s just a bit too much and is one of my favorites in terms of miscommunication

a tenderness grows by rusesdeguerre

summary: Nolan wouldn’t say that landing a job as the Philadelphia Flyers’ psychotic and probably clinically insane mascot was a childhood dream of his. Maybe tangentially: playing pond hockey in –30°C weather and pretending to be Sidney Crosby is practically a rite of passage when you grow up in Manitoba. That, and experiencing the distinct displeasure that is thousands of mosquitoes sucking your blood out when your father drags you on a father-son camping trip into the backwoods of the northern Canadian Prairies.

why i love it: this was the first fic i recced on this blog, and i stand by that decision. a fic where nolan is not only not a hockey player, but is in fact the person in the gritty suit? absolutely perfect, and so charming from start to finish

meet me at my window by springsteen

summary: Travis has lived in Philadelphia for a few years now, long enough to know there isn’t a major city in America where superheroes don’t destroy an entire city block trying to save humanity or whatever. He can deal with all the super-shit, but Travis did not sign up for getting woken up from a deep sleep because some fucker’s trying to break in through his window.

(5 times the super-villain known as "The Cat" breaks into Travis's apartment, plus 1 time Travis invites him in.)

why i love it: there’s a lot of things to love here, but the concept is just absolutely one of my all time favorite aus ever. it’s fun and charming and the perfect glimpse into a world where heroes and villains exist, and what it’s like just to be a run of the mill kind of guy existing in it. tk and nolan’s back and forth in this make it so engaging, and it’s such a top tier fic

body’s in trouble by cloudsandpassingevents

summary: “Oh, sorry,” someone says. “Didn’t know anyone else was here.”

Nolan freezes, then turns around very slowly. When he looks up, Nicklas fucking Backstrom is standing behind him in a hoodie and baggy sweats, holding the biggest bag of Swedish Fish Nolan’s ever seen in his life in one hand.

“Uh,” Nolan says around the pop tart between his teeth. “Yeah.”

What the fuck, his brain helpfully supplies.

why i love it: from nolan’s inner voice, to the way the author explores all the dynamics within the team, to the way they write the unexpected but actually, it kind of makes sense friendship between nolan and backstrom, is just absolutely fantastic. there’s a lot of moments that circle back and build on each other in a way that really just makes it super compelling

rhizomatic foundations by lighthousetowers

summary: Twenty days after he moves in with Kevin Hayes, twenty days – three months, five months, depending on how you look at it – after not talking to TK, TK shows up at the front door with a plant the size of a basketball in his hands.

TK grins. "Patty, meet Reginald." He lifts up the plant. "Reggie, meet Patty. He's going to be your new - caretaker."

"What the fuck," says Nolan, not moving a single muscle.

Or: That Nolan can hear the plant talk might as well just happen.

why i love it: this is probably my favorite magical realism fic just about ever. it’s fun and charming and a little weird, but in the best possible way. there’s such a wonderful narrative in it, and lighthousetowers always has such beautiful writing, and it really shines in this one. the dialogue and nolan’s characterization are also part of what set it apart for me as one of the best tknp fics

in the dark of any town by mengetpegged

summary: If the voice has an accent at all, it’s a flat prairie Canadian, with none of G’s French-Canadian softness at the edges. But mostly, the accent is just ‘pissed off,’ which TK believes is a default setting for ghosts.

“Who are you?” TK asks, and he doesn’t like how strained his voice sounds, doesn’t like the tinge of anxiety tinting the rise of his question. He tries to regulate his breaths—in through his nose, hold, out through his mouth—but it feels like he’s not getting enough oxygen, which makes him panic even more.

“Someone with a fucking migraine, dickhead,” the voice says. “So keep the lights off and shut the hell up.”

(or: Nolan Patrick, Hotel X Ghost)

why i love it: i’m usually not super into ghost fics, both the spooky kind and the nonspooky kind, but this one is a rare exception. it’s charming and fun and tender and it’s got some of, in my opinion, the best characterization of tk and nolan in any fic. the way the author writes their dynamic and their dialogue is just unmatched

lets_make_this_moment_a_crime.mp3 by honeydripping

summary: Travis meets Nolan at a Midtown show in 2002 when he punches Nolan in the face. He can’t help it, “Like A Movie” just goes off.

But he does feel guilty about it.

or

TK and Patty work at a bakery together. They go to punk shows to pass the time.

why i love it: idk if anyone asked for an early 2000s emo/punk/alt au but wow! i sure am glad it exists! really the vibes of this fic, as silly as that sounds, are absolutely unmatched. i love the structure with the music, the development of their relationship, and just everything about how the author wrote the setting (there’s this whole thing with tattoos in it that makes me feel absolutely insane)

you’re ripped at every edge by you’re a masterpiece by conformityissuicide

summary: “Ugh, look, this yoga teacher has it out for me, man. And I can’t go back there without at least having some of the basics down. I’ve got to win this battle.”

“Yoga isn’t really something you win at,” Hartsy starts.

Travis cuts him off, “You can win at anything if you try hard enough.”

+++

OR that time Nolan's a grumpy yoga teacher and Travis realizes he wants to bone him and prove him wrong about Travis' non-existent yoga abilities.

why i love it: listen, if you want tknp, at least one of them has to be an idiot, and this tk absolutely captures the obliviousness i love to see in him in fic. it’s such a great characterization of them both and such a great concept (and even better execution)

you form a terror pack (and i’m aware of that) by dalmatienne

summary: “Can I help you?” TK snarks, both eyebrows hiked up in a way that has earned her many elbow checks to the ribs.

The chick looks down her nose, long thick eyelashes fluttering. Red-bitten lips part to blow a florid pink bubble and TK can smell the chemical sweetness when it pops.

“Yeah,” she says in this monotonous voice that seems almost at odds with her bubble gum and neon skates. She jams her stopper into TK’s thigh again, literally inches away from where it’d really hurt. “Tie ‘em.”

why i love it: to be honest, i generally don’t read rule 63 within hrpf, but this one is just absolutely knocks it out of the park. the concept (i fuckin’ love roller derby), the characterization of nolan, the pacing, the rituals, the tone of the entire fic, it’s just all around a perfect read from start to finish

thrills and grills by bitter_leaf

summary: Travis can’t even begin to wonder what he did in a previous life to incur the wrath of this fucking cook. Travis thinks he’s a nice person, doesn’t conduct himself in any way that could be considered particularly dickish, and unless this guy has some sort of issue with hockey bros or people from the boonies, he’s not sure how he started shit without even knowing.

__

Patty has a vendetta. Travis just wants to eat his eggs in peace.

why i love it: honestly this is the enemies to lovers fic i’ve been waiting for. i remember seeing the reddit post when it first went viral and thinking it would make such a great fic premise, so stumbling across this one was just so wonderful. super engaging and fun and so hilarious to read!

nothing but room for you by fightingfuries

summary: When his agent tells him he’s going to be traded to the Devils, Nolan isn't sure how he feels about it. Might be easier if he was going somewhere farther away, like California or fucking Florida. Somewhere sun-soaked and foreign. Someplace so different from Philadelphia that he can forget he ever played for the Flyers, forget everything that happened there.

Or Nolan fucks up, gets traded, gets his shit together and falls in love. Not necessarily in that order.

why i love it: i cannot stress to you how much i love trade fics, and this one is one of my absolute favorites. the trade to the devils-so close to philly, still, but there’s more to distance than physical miles-was such an excellent choice and the split timeline adds so much to the narrative, and the emotions are real and messy and complicated in the best way

a couple of runaways (i’m glad you stayed) by overturnedgoal

summary: The person in the video he’s watching is super annoying. Some obnoxious holier than thou granola type who keeps talking about their environmental impact as if they aren’t driving a gas guzzler around, but the basic idea of living in a van, driving around wherever, camping all the time, just going hiking and swimming and seeing the whole country? It sounds pretty dope, honestly.

why i love it: i like to watch tours and conversions of vans/buses into tiny homes as a self soothing method, and this fic has the same impact that watching those do. it’s such a fun concept, and it’s so fuckin’ soft, and the dialouge between tk and nolan is just *chef’s kiss*

all candor and style in the crook of your smile by p3trichor

summary: It’s a photo of Nolan on his knees with someones’ fingers in his mouth, lips slick with spit. Travis flicks by it almost too fast and he’s only got seconds to decide if he wants to screenshot it, if he wants to just give up the ghost right then and there. Except Travis’s phone freezes momentarily and then the group refreshes, sidcros87, Bert59 and 14 others took a screenshot!

It’s gone before Travis even has time to process it and he already wasted his replay of the day on a stupid video of a stupid fish that Hayes caught.

Can you send me that screenshot Travis texts Bertuzzi before he can overthink it, his dick already stirring in his sweats. Tuzzi sends back the cry-laughing emoji and then the screenshot before Travis can be too annoyed at him.

Or, Nolan is being weird about Travis's break-up and TK is maybe not straight.

why i love it: i genuinely don’t think i have words for the amount i love this fic. it took me forever to actually read, but it’s absolutely one of my favorite fics, and it’s an absolutely riot to read. carter’s meddling and the presence of tyler bertuzzi both make it extra fun, in my humble opinion

[ijustkindalikebooks]

The end of June is nigh, and here we are again with another monthly round-up of my favourite books of the month.

This month I've been doing my best to get through the bingo board on Whatever-You-Want-athon and I completed it twice! I was able to finish the lines and get that full house and I really appreciated trying to figure out books that had for example, 'P,S & G' on them!

This month I read 33 books, I got to re-read a childhood favourite which never happens for me, I finished the Poirot series this month and I continued reading Terry Pratchett's Discworld too, where I am now at book 34, so the next book I will be reading is 'Thud!' which has one of my favourite characters Sam Vimes in, so I have high hopes!

Monstrous Regiment by Terry Pratchett - I feel like it's one of those series Discworld, which is rare where the books as you get deeper they get better, or maybe you just care now enough to be completely hooked into this world. The story of Polly as she joins the monstrous regiment to look for her brother, this book is brilliantly written with fantastic characters and funny moments that will keep you wanting more.

Going Postal by Terry Pratchett - This is a book I just recently finished and it is so good. So good. The whole post office staff is brilliant, I love them all so much and would want to be a fly on the wall in this place as Moist Von Lipzwig changes career from con-artist to postmaster general in this fantastic story of found family and realising sometimes what you want changes.

The Puffin Portal by Vashti Hardy - I am an absolute sucker for found family. I think these books are so cute and have a really great family dynamic and this one is really a great story or robotic birds and cheeky thiefery that leads our lead on a search to find the culprit and a new member of the family. I think these books for kids are so charming.

Phantom Of An Idol Volume One by Hijiki Isoflavone - You will see a review of this very soon, but this manga about a boy and a ghost who takes over his body so he performs better is funny as heck and a really great read, with fun perspectives and an art style that I do absolutely love. This was an arc and it will be published for the first time in English either next month, or it was sometime in June.

Come Tumbling Down by Seanan McGuire - Even the most disappointing book by thia author would be great to me, and this book is not for a second that. Brilliantly written every single time, I adore this series and I own Middlegame now and hope to take it on holiday with me and I just hope it continues my love of this fantastic writer, definitely now one of my all time favourites.

What have you been reading in June? I'd love to know your thoughts on my books or just to hear about your own!

Thank you for following and/or reading!

Vee xo

[beckydoesthings]

various fics of hxl that i adore reading! this list is quite lengthy, but feel free to message me if you have any questions!

*will continue to be updated. also, if i mistagged you, i apologize, i do not know how to tumblr*

Love Is a Rebellious Bird

E | 134k | @100percentsassy and gloria_andrews

AU in which the boys still make music. Louis is the concertmaster of the London Symphony Orchestra, Harry is the New! and Exciting! interim conductor/ex-cello prodigy who "has made Mozart cool again" according to Esquire Magazine (Louis hates him immediately, which is definitely why he internet stalked him in his dark bedroom late at night that one time), and Niall is the best. Zayn and Liam are around too.

Don't hum Bolero.

i think this tickled every bone of my musical self and also made me cry (are you seeing a theme here??) one of the first fics i fell in love with and one i keep coming back to.

Collision

E | 226k | @tequiladimples

Mythology/Fairytale!AU in which Louis is a dainty fairy with a temper who wants to be intimidating and Harry hurts people. Naturally, they hate each other.

(Featuring Liam, the big and not-so-bad wolf who’s got a thing for humans, Zayn, a human with supernaturally good looks, and Niall, the cupid who just wants his job to be easier.)

the world building in this one is insanity - so much good mythology mixed in and it made me screech with joy. i think i can firmly say that i did not expect where the plot went, but that made the story so much better.

Flour and Chocolate

M | 145k | @danosphere91

It was nice, for a bakery he supposed.

Then he approached the display cabinet.

And the foreboding slammed into him. Because every product had letters next to it. Letters. GF, DF, V, O, VGN.

What. The. Fuck?

Lifting his eyes to the chalkboard menu spread across the back wall Louis felt physically ill. ‘Gluten-free’, ‘organic’, ‘vegan’, ‘paleo’, ‘dair-…’ Wait, what the fuck was a paleo? He had entered some hipster-trash establishment and it was more than time to get out.

OR

Louis is a single dad and Harry works at the newly opened bakery down the street.

the miscommunication in this fic is SO REAL and makes for a good read. the rest of the flour and chocolate series is also fantastic. i thoroughly enjoyed both the ziam and ed/niall arcs that bring the whole story together.

run away home

E | 106k | @hattalove

Louis stands, in the middle of a clearing with his hands in his pockets, and stares. This boy—God, this gorgeous, gorgeous boy. He seems so clumsy, confused at the best of times, but there’s a wisdom about him as he speaks, a maturity that belies his age.

Louis is hopelessly, wildly attracted to him.

or, louis is a successful jockey down on his luck, struggling to get his life back on track after an injury. harry has a horse, a house fit for a prince, and a broken heart.

it takes them a while to figure out that they need each other.

this makes my inner horse girl extraordinarily happy - even if i don’t know anything about horse racing. louis’ story in this is beautiful and makes the whole piece worth a read.

waiting for the tides to meet

E | 60k | @nauticalleeds

Louis lets out a deep breath, thinking about Harry’s soulmate. Thinking about how Harry’s soulmate is probably as beautiful as Harry, some person that Louis cannot compare to, and how the universe has chosen them to be Harry’s. Fuck the universe. “Fuck you,” he calls out to the universe. He’s aware of how crazy he sounds.

Maybe he is crazy, with how he’s falling for Harry. And fuck that, too.

Soulmate AU. Everyone is born with heterochromia — one eye is their own eye colour, while the other is the colour of their soulmate's. It's only when they meet their soulmate for the first time that their own eyes match properly. After a hazy night at a frat party, Louis wakes up to blue eyes and the shocking realization that he had met his soulmate, without any sober recollection. Seven years pass where Louis comes to terms with the fact that he'll never know who his soulmate is. Then one fated summer, a beautiful green-eyed photographer arrives at Louis' workplace, with promises of endless laughter and a familiar feeling in Louis' heart.

Featuring a lovely cup of OT5, a road trip down the coast, and a scene where Harry eats a whole head of lettuce. Don't ask why.

gorgeous soulmate AU that gives me summer cruising vibes. worth the read for the lettuce scene alone (i kid, i kid)

Do Not Go Gentle

E | 70k | @afirethatcannotdie

“This is all a game to you, isn’t it? Well, it’s not for me. This is a real life or death situation,” Louis says, spitting the words at him. “And I just don’t think you’re cut out for it.”

For a moment, they stare at each other in complete silence. Harry can feel his blood thrumming between his ears, can see Louis glaring at him, feels red-hot anger. And then all he feels, oppressively and desperately, is lust.

Suddenly Louis is surging up to him to press his lips against Harry’s. Harry walks the two of them backwards, pressing Louis back against the door. Louis oomphs in surprise and brings his hands under Harry’s scrub top, scratching at his lower back.

“Lock — oh — lock the… fucking door,” Louis mutters.

When Harry Styles starts his first day as a surgical intern, he expects a lot of things: to treat patients, to observe a surgery, to feel a bit overwhelmed. What he definitely doesn't expect, however, is that the handsome guy he kicked out of his bed this morning is also an intern.

A Grey’s Anatomy AU where tensions are high, Harry and Louis are hooking up in secret, and no one has time for love. Or do they?

okay i’ve watched maybe 3 episodes of Gray’s Anatomy, but i feel like this encompasses the vibe of the show: medical stuff with a hefty dose of angst and sexual tension

Falling For Me Won’t Be A Mistake

M | 58k | @all-these-larrythings

Harry is married to his job and so overworked that he doesn't know how to stop. All it takes is a forced Hawaiian get-a-away, the warm tropical breeze of the island, and the most beautiful, elusive man he's ever seen to make him remember what living is like outside of work. Well, that, and the little souvenir he accidentally takes home with him.

one of my favorite mpreg fics so if that’s not your cup of tea, then don’t read it. i love surgeon harry with a vengeance, but honestly Gems and Niall are iconic in this one.

Watching the World Fall

E | 11k | @crazyupsetter why won’t it let me tag :(

This segment has been going on long enough that Louis knows what’s coming before James starts in on it, trying to sell him on something he knows that Louis wouldn’t normally be buying. But there’s four cameras surrounding him, and an audience watching him expectantly, so if Louis wants to continue convincing people that he’s doing just fine, he’s going to have to go along with it.

“We have a whole host of single men backstage waiting to meet you, Louis,” James tells him. “We want to help you find love tonight, on Late Late Live Tinder. Is this okay? Do you want to play?”

It actually kind of makes sense that his first date after the break-up is going to be just as public as said break-up. Something like coming full circle.

“Alright, James,” Louis agrees, hopping down off his stool.

“Okay, come down to the stage,” James says. Louis can’t even tell whether the excitement in his voice is genuine or not. “Right now, come on down!”

i have a soft spot the size of Antarctica for Late Late AU fics (we stan James Corden) and for exes to lovers so this checks all the boxes.

autumn leaves

E | 27k | @suspendrs

“Brave?” Harry frowns, caught off guard. “No, not particularly.”

“You seem brave,” Louis decides, pushing off the wall and stepping on the butt of his cigarette. “You are strong, and you are not mean. That’s good,” he assures, touching Harry’s arm gently.

“Thank you, but that’s not true,” Harry smiles ruefully. “I’m really not anything special.”

Or, Harry is an American soldier in France during World War II, and Louis is a French waiter that doesn't mean to fall in love with him.

love love french AUs and while this one isn’t sunshine and rainbows, it’s a beautiful yet heart wrenching piece. warning for period typical homophobia

caught up in your love affair

NR | 8k | @disgruntledkittenface

“And the corgis took to you straightaway,” Harry remarks.

“That’s true,” Louis chuckles.

 “I’ve spent the last 29 years being barked at,” Harry deadpans, jerking his hand toward Louis, “this one walks in, absolutely nothing.”

Louis outright giggles at that, saying, “They were just lying on my feet during tea.”

“Wagging tails,” Harry says, shaking his head.

“It’s because they don’t understand flirting,” Louis tells him, “you can’t charm them the way you do everyone else.”

Royal AU. Prince Harry announces his engagement to Louis Tomlinson in an interview with longtime friend and BBC host Nick Grimshaw. Inspired by Prince Harry and Meghan Markle.

just. 8k of royal fluff. that’s literally it and i adore it so much.

Apples Always Fall (As I Do For You)

M | 54k | @rainbowsandgucci

”Due to unforeseen circumstances, help is needed here at the orchard for the impending apple season. Looking for someone able to start within the next week or two at the most, is willing to do whatever miscellaneous tasks are needed, such as picking & packing apples, running the cash register, and other handywork that may need to be done. Must be good with customers, and able to lift up to 50lbs. Help will be needed until at the least the end of October. Please contact the number found on this page, or come out to the orchard and ask for Harry. All the love xx” --- Louis is staying at his Aunt's farm in a small town in Minnesota for four months. To deal with the boredom that sets in a week into his stay, he starts working at the local apple orchard, owned by twenty six year old Harry Styles. Louis quickly finds himself falling in love with the orchard, and he finds a family in Harry's friends Niall, Liam, and Zayn. He also starts to fall in love with Harry. Falling in love with him turns out to be the easy part.

i never thought i would enjoy an apple orchard fic?? but it’s so good?? farmer harry makes me laugh to think about, but the heartbreak in this fic is so. real.

Mine Would Be You

E | 114k | @crinkle-eyed-boo

Louis blinks his eyes open, his eyelids fluttering as the room swims around him. He takes several gulps of beer once he confirms that he’s definitely not hallucinating, that the very first portrait Harry Styles ever painted of him is hanging on that wall.

Louis stares at the wall, his heart jackrabbiting in his chest as he realizes that there’s not just one painting of him, there’s five, the portraits lined up like they’re some sort of storyboard depicting the rise and fall of his deepest love. His greatest heartache. A pain that cut him so deep that he left the fucking country, severing all ties with his life in New York, now suddenly surrounding him as if he’d never left.

Fucking shit motherfucker fuck.

Louis returns to New York City five years after he left it – and the love of his life – behind. He didn't intend to see Harry again, but fate has a funny way of pulling them together, whether they like it or not. After making a begrudging truce, they both start to wonder: Would it be so bad if history repeated itself?

exes to lovers drama but make it extra sad. the fact that we see so many facets to this story just makes it all the more painful, yet beautiful. this fic also reminds me of how much i love one mister niall horan.

One for Luck

E | 96k | @leavingonatrain

The very first time Louis remembers hearing Harry Styles' deep, deep voice, he's just won gold at the World Equestrian Games and he's officially back on Great Britain's Olympic team. He's also three sheets to the wind, drunk on victory and champagne, and there's a gorgeous boy whispering in his ear. Life's grand.

(AU: Louis and Harry are professional riders on the British Olympic team.)

again, i know nothing about horses, but i like to pretend i do for the sake of this fic. it’s beautiful, it’s smutty what else could you ask for?

Nothing But You On My Mind

E | 83k | @absoloutenonsense

Louis Tomlinson is a PR manager hired to improve the image of royal bad-boy Prince Harry Styles. Unfortunately for him, that means being faced with the Prince's constant innuendos, incessant dirty jokes, and relentless flirting. Louis just wants to make it to Princess Gemma's coronation; once she's crowned Queen, his contract is up and he never has to see the Prince again.

i absolutely. definitely. sobbed tears at this fic. it’s just so beautifully painful to read. don’t want to spoil anything, but this is a must.

Adore You

M | 67k | @isthatyoularry

“We invited our new acquaintances from uptown. You’ve simply got to meet their oldest son!” said his mother with a flourish, and suddenly it became abundantly clear as to why his parents had so adamantly demanded he join them in Deansville for the entirety of the summer.

Against his wishes, Harry spends the holidays at his family’s summer estate, and is reluctantly pulled into a courtship he didn’t ask for. Harry doesn’t want to get married, but Louis does. They don’t fit, but then again they really, really do.

Vaguely set in the 1920’s. Headpieces, jazz, fashionable canes, and flapper dresses, and that.

i strongly relate to harry in this one! one of my favorite historical AUs and honestly i love the thought of louis in well fitting suits.

leave it to the breeze

E | 81k | @hattalove

Louis couldn’t be prouder of his bake, but there’s something—there’s something. Something about Harry Styles and the earnest way he measures, pours, mixes, scrapes. Something about the tip of his tongue poking out of his mouth as he knocks the air out of his batter.

or a great british bake off au in which louis cares about winning and winning only, harry is made of sunshine and rainbow sprinkles, and niall sticks his nose into other people's business. also featuring liam as louis's best friend-slash-concerned mother, and zayn as a macaron connoisseur.

i. love. the. great british baking show. baking + h&l is amazing. and another reminder as to why niall is the absolute best.

Paint The Sky With Stars

M | 62k | @icanhazzalou grrr let me tag

On 10 April 1912, Harry Styles boards the finest ship the world has ever seen. Still grieving the death of their mother, he and his sister are being sent to America to live with a callous uncle who cares more about his business connections than family. Harry prepares himself for a long, disappointing voyage alone in his stateroom.

Louis Tomlinson has borrowed and saved, and finally has enough to purchase a Third Class ticket to America. With all of his belongings in a single ruck sack, he boards the Titanic filled with hope for a brighter future. Never one to sit still, he can’t resist exploring the massive ship, and soon goes sneaking into First Class in a stolen steward’s uniform.

By a twist of fate, Louis finds himself in Harry’s stateroom, entranced by the most attractive man he’s ever laid eyes on. He keeps returning day after day, even if he doesn’t understand what it is about Harry that continues pulling him in. That’s all right; Louis has a week to figure it out, and Harry is plenty willing to help.

Except they don’t have a week. They have four days. Because on 15 April, their entire world will be turned upside down.

Or, the historically accurate Titanic AU with a happy ending.

gorgeous historical fic that’s so accurate and painstakingly written. i keep coming back to it!

When It’s Late At Night

M | 25k | @all-these-larrythings

Louis has zero interest in an ex-boybander turned solo artist when his appearance on the show gets announced, but that's exactly who he gets stuck with when Harry Styles shows up at the Late Late show to promote the release of his debut album. For an entire fucking week.

Or

The Late Late prompt that we all need to get through this excruciatingly hard time.

remember when i said i love Late Late AUs? yeah. i love that louis gives absolutely zero shits in this fic until he gives all the shits.

Chasing Empty Spaces

E | 79k | @domestic-harry

The year is 1934 and Harry Styles was to inherent the largest tobacco firm in the south. His parents have picked out the “perfect” girl for him to marry and he has the privilege of receiving the highest education possible. The problem was, Harry hadn’t realized he didn’t actually want any part of that future until he met a mechanic named, Louis Tomlinson.

gorgeous historical AU that goes through Harry’s struggle with his sexuality wonderfully. this one also made me cry.

Resist Everything Except Temptation

E | 100k | @domestic-harry

The lethargic sound of heels clicking against wood resonated across the sea. Footsteps descended the staircase, every assured step creating a menacing aura as it grew closer. Perspiration gathered along Louis’ palms as the rhythmic sound halted in front of him.

“Captain,” Malik greeted.

Louis watched out of his peripheral as Malik’s boots shuffled back a few steps. Sweat matted the hair along the nape of Louis’ neck as he waited for something to happen. He felt as if a sharp blade was twisting his gut as the silence became tangible. There was a metallic slide of a sword being pulled out of its sheath, the sound startling Louis out of his cocoon of sterile shock. His shoulders jumped as the tip of a blade flattened underneath his jaw. Louis’ distorted reflection stared back at him in the polished metal. Engraved rose petals twisted his appearance as they crawled up the length of the sword. The sword lifted and took Louis’ chin with it.

Standing in front of Louis was Captain Styles.

OR

The one where Louis is the commodore's son who is forced to become a part of Harry's crew when he is captured.

love this pirate AU that’s got one badass gemma styles. also, harry as a super cool pirate in gorgeous clothes makes me super happy!

i’ll make this feel like home

E | 49k

Harry to groans himself and then takes a deep breath. “Okay, well. Here’s the thing. I peed on a stick.”

Louis isn’t able to get more than a shocked “What!” out before Harry’s steamrolling on.

“I peed on a stick and it says it’s positive, but you always prattle on about how it’s best to go to the doctor’s before you get excited, you know to confirm it because sometimes hormones are off or you have like a tumor or some shit and get false positives and what if I’m dying and-”

“You’re pregnant?!” Louis shouts out, stomach dropping as the words leave his mouth.

“Um, yeah… maybe.”

[the one where Louis' hopelessly in love with his best mate... who just happens to be pregnant with another man's baby.]

baby momma harry with hot mess!Louis is a recipe for disaster, but this one has plenty of fluff to make up for it.

Hands Clasped Tight

E | 44k | @afirethatcannotdie

“What am I looking at here?” Harry asks.

“This, my friends, is a ‘proof’ Instagram account, run by your students,” Liam announces.

“It’s got all this stuff about how the two of you are together,” Niall adds.

“I heard about that,” says one of the math teachers. “Confiscated a kid’s phone today when they were looking at it. I have to say, the evidence that you’re dating is pretty damning.”

“Really,” Louis says dryly. “Do you think being married for three years might have something to do with it?”

Or the one where Harry and Louis are high school teachers and their students have been playing matchmaker for over a year. Little do they know, Harry and Louis are already married.

love love teacher harry and louis that’s mostly funny fluff with a little angst. just a teeny amount. reminds me of my own experiences with meddling students haha.

*updated 2/16/21*

[magnoliapip]

Potential Open Heart Love Interests Who Were Wasted

By now, we all understand that Pixelberry has wasted every single fragment of potential that the Open Heart series had. Frequently overshadowed by aimless plotlines and unbalanced attention toward the four love interests we had is the vast array of potential love interests the OH series could have had. This list is the top 10 (yes, 10) love interests PB wasted. This means that this list will not be discussing the wasted potential in the four love interests we were handed (Bryce, Jackie, Rafael and Ethan).

Please note that some of these (especially toward the bottom) are included more for fan service than for actual wasted potential. Also, these are all my own opinions. Please feel free to share your own! There may be spoilers below. Viewer discretion is advised!

---------

#10 -- Baz Mirani

Not introduced until Book 2 of the Open Heart series, Baz is the friendlier and more outgoing of the two Doctors Mirani. One of the top in his field of immunology, Baz manages to balance his intellect with an easygoing nature. A relaxed positivity that almost comes off as too much. He was never really around enough, nor did he have the right interactions with MC in the series to feel like a fully developed love interest. However, after having the options in another PB book Laws of Attraction, it might have been interesting to see how it would turn out if MC could hook up with Baz.

#9 -- June Hirata

Also not introduced until Book 2, Dr. Hirata is a ruthless force to be reckoned with. A cunning behavior psychologist and brilliant neurologist, one can never really know what to expect from June, though this is mostly because no one can tell if her actions are genuine. After MC is told how June “earned” her place on the diagnostics team, it becomes clear that she will stop at nothing to get what she wants. Honestly, the prospect of having that directed toward MC...yeah, I want it. Badly. The only reason she isn’t higher on the list is because of her social inconsistency..

#8 -- Zaid Mirani

One of two senior residents introduced to the MC in book 1, Zaid is partly responsible for managing the interns. Zaid is the more blunt of the Mirani twins and can come off as an ass. He’s also shown to have a softer side that comes out in increasing increments throughout the series culminating in a touching moment in book 3. Once more, Zaid isn’t someone the MC interacts with a whole lot throughout the books, acting more as a recurring character to pop up once or twice a book, but I think that is a crock. I wanted more Zaid and I’m sorry we didn’t get it.

#7 -- Elijah Greene

A fellow intern at Edenbrook Hospital, MC meets Elijah in book 1 along with the rest of their group of friends. Elijah quickly becomes a steadfast friend and even a roommate. Clearly a brilliant doctor with a future in research, Elijah balances this with his upbeat personality and love of science fiction and gaming. Characters like Elijah often get relegated to the realm of being a best friend and it might have been nice to see him opened up as a possible love interest. He’s fiercely loyal, as seen by his defense in book 2 at the baseball game, and is steadfastly determined to get where he wants to be. There’s a lot to be admired in Elijah, but considering PB dropped his canon love interest, Phoebe, I shouldn’t be surprised that he was never an option anyway.

#6 -- Sienna Trinh

Sienna is literally the best.

I should just end it there because anyone who has read the series knows, but for the sake of this list…Sienna is an ally of MC’s right from the moment they meet, when Sienna helps get MC out of a sticky situation. This perfectly encompasses Sienna’s character. She spends the entire series taking care of everyone but herself and being just the sweetest, kindest, most amazing baker and chinchilla mommy that exists. After what happens in book 1 and book 2 with both of her canon love interests, well, #Siennadeservesbetter. And I think her fellow dolphin would have been the perfect person for her. 

The only reason she is so far down on the list is because she does make such an incredible best friend.

#5 -- Harper Emery

The female older mentor to match Ethan. Harper would have been in a more compromised position, not just being a direct superior to MC like Ethan, but also being the Chief of Medicine for the hospital. As an admin, watching her toe the line between desire and propriety would have been just *chef’s kiss*. Instead, her role was consigned to being the family member too hard on their younger charge, projecting what she wants but can’t have onto Aurora. Now that I think about it, that last sentence makes me want it even more.

Besides, it would have been another female love interest rather than the one that we seem to get every book and a woman of color at that.

#4 -- Landry Olsen

I know what you’re thinking but just hear me out for a second and then you can eviscerate me in the comments.

Landry is a character that has me torn in more ways than one. First, I love the twist in book 1 where we see him for who he “truly is”. It was unexpected and a lovely change.

That notwithstanding, I was also deeply saddened to see yet another promising story not come to pass. See, there aren’t many characters like Landry who are so incredibly awkward but also come off as friendly. It was a lovely change of pace and it would have been amazing, just the sweetest, to see MC bring Landry out of his shell. MC could have helped Landry gain confidence to do far more than talk to the girl across the bar. Before the end of the book, he would have been having a full ass conversation with Ethan and maybe even mustering up the bravery to ask MC out. All of the pieces were there, either as platonic friend or love interest. Instead, Landry lived long enough to see himself become the villain. But my friends to lovers slowburn adoring heart will always have a piece longing for what could have been. Judge me if you will.

#3 -- Tobias Carrick

Originally introduced in book 2 to be to Ethan what Mass Kenmore is to Edenbrook, Tobias’ story takes a flip once book 3 comes around. Immediately compelling from the get go, Tobias shows a charming competitive nature sprinkled with arrogance, grey morality, and a devilish side. Tobias’ personality would either be completely in line with MC or completely against MC depending on how you tend to play the game. Both are completely valid and interesting options. Even before the infamous beet puns in book 3, Tobias made me want to know more. Tobias was the ultimate character in the Open Heart series that would have made a perfect one night stand. Alas, it seems we’ll never know more and must stick to the fantastic fanfiction writers on sites like this to sate us.

#2 -- Aurora Emery

Let me tell you, the line between #’s 1 and 2 is so thin it’s barely there. Those two are so close I almost can’t distinguish which one I wanted more. Aurora is first presented to MC and the gang as an intern who seems like she may become an antagonist of the series. As Book 1 presses on, we start to see Aurora in a whole new light. MC comes to understand why Aurora has the cold and closed off personality she does and when given the chances later in the series, Aurora opens up into almost an entirely different person as she finds herself outside of the expectations of her family.

Aurora is a brilliant doctor very nearly on the same level as MC and later seems to become a parallel to MC for what Tobias is to Ethan. Thankfully Aurora and MC’s relationship is a lot less volatile, but those brief fireworks make me really wish Aurora and MC would have officially been a thing. I feel like PB was weighing the option for a while but decided against it, much to their detriment.

However, I had to push Aurora down for one specific reason to come in the explanation for #1. And #1 is…

#1 -- Farley the Landlord

Be honest. After having Landry on this list, you thought this was a serious entry for a second, didn’t you? Just kidding!

(the real) #1 -- Kyra Santana

Kyra meets MC for the first time when Ethan dubiously introduces her to them because Kyra broke her arm in an accident. Right from the start, Kyra is an incorrigible flirt, obviously egged on by her cancer diagnosis and fear of death. Kyra has such an incredible story. Throughout books 1 and 2, Kyra is an incredible friend to MC and it breaks my heart that PB dropped her romantic storyline the way they did.

This is why Kyra edged out Aurora for #1. Going back and re-reading book 1, it’s always obvious that Kyra was meant to be a love interest. I’m not sure what stopped them from going forward with it. I’d like to think it had something to do with potential backlash for having a patient and their doctor get involved, but I think it has more to do with being a woman or a woman of color than anything else. Which is a damned shame. We stan Kyra Santana in this house and I wanted to leave with her at the end of book 2.

----

So what do you all think? Do you agree with any of my placements? Vehemently disagree with others? I wrote this at 2am when I couldn’t sleep and didn’t bother to proofread before posting so you’re welcome.

Let me know below and cross your fingers for the finale of Open Heart book 3 coming later today!!

[life-rewritten]

Tharn Type 7 Years of Love; The problem with Mame

At the beginning of when TharnType the series announced it was going to get a sequel, my thought went urgh sequels. I don't do sequels; because sequels are horrible,  they're not just terrible in this genre, they're awful everywhere, in western dramas, in heterosexual shows etc. This is because sequels are always made with sluggish energy like people just don't respect sequels; they're made to make more money and hound in on the fans love and loyalty and excitement. They're made because of hubris.  With Bls, sequels are even worse because Bls already struggle with writing and following up and showing how couples are when they're established. So when it comes to announcements of sequels I always end up shaking my head and being afraid, I ask the question but do we need this really? Why not just create something new and original? And this is the same thought process I had with TharnType, I wanted to see them again, and revel in their love story, chemistry and plot, but I was nervous because of my past experiences with sequels. 

Now, my mindset changed as I trusted my past experience with this show. I liked the writing, and I liked the structured plot, and the three-dimensional storyline and character developments. I think with Mame; her outlines are fantastic when you look at the overall picture of the plot, her themes and her ideas. But unfortunately with this sequel, I think it falls apart; 

The problem with Sequels

Now there are already three reasons why this was always going to happen:

1. It has a different director. With the previous season, Tee the director helped portray the themes and the story Mame wanted to tell. He brought out the right energy, paced the storyline well, and used the right sound, edits, etc. to show us TT's story. 

2. The book of TT 7 years is actually tiny in detail and plot. Basically, a tv show based on it is not going to be fully in depth because it requires fillers to make it long.

3. It had many new side couples and a lot of side couples in this genre are basically always miswritten and given no screen time, no storytelling or plot with the same energy as the main couple. So with this sequel, unfortunately, it actually ended being the opposite; it's actually the main couple who's screen time was sacrificed for the side couples. 

But even with these worries, I still came into the show knowing there were things I loved about it; I loved the overall themes, the comprehensive real-life representation of long term relationship, the meta I could analyse and the characters and their mindsets as broken and flawed people which they are. From episode 1 and episode I think everyone noticed that the show wasn't going to great because of the new director. We also saw that the show's strength was put on the actors' ability to hone their characters and Mame's writing. However, by episode 3, I had fallen in love with the show again because the one thing Mame is good at is showing a love story even if other people don't agree. Her basis for what love is is what makes me hooked onto her shows. Her love stories are always more in-depth and dimensional every single time; they have more to them than just a typical generic plot. 

The problem with Tharn Type 7 Years

Now one of the reasons I fell in love with this is because of the introduction to Leo and Fiat. Shocking right? But I knew that she had given the same depth, flaws and effort as she did with TT in Season 1. They were meant to mirror a version of TT, and their journey to be together was meant to be just as problematic and dramatic.  As I'm going to be writing about the flaws of this show, I still want people to know; I believe in everything the subtext was showing, she has been building up scenes and clues to letting us know what the overall story was meant to be, and as much as I don't want to because it's also her fault, I think her director failed at helping her show her message as well. 

So when looking at one of the overarching problems with the show, we have the story of Leo and Fiat; they have this deep, dimensional and interesting love story. They're both so in love and devoted to each other, but for some reason, they can't communicate and tell each other how they feel. And this is so important to TT 7 Years because Fiat is the villain of the show. The plot with  Leo refusing to tell him how he feels is a big plotline to unveil because it's the real reason why he ends up breaking up Tharn and Type. Now Tharn and Type already needed to separate and break up because their relationship no matter how strong their love is was always going to reach a pause because they still had to deal with past internal scars. Type wasn't at the beginning fully healed from his past and his trauma, (by dealing with his boss drama, he actually ended up reaching his healing and overcoming his conflict). Because of this, he wasn't ready to cross the line and marry Tharn. However, episode 8, he has now grown and overcome his issues and so is now ready to be onboard with Tharn. 

The problem with Tharn

But the thing is Tharn also had his own internal scars to heal from; he also has his own traumatic mindset that shapes his actions and his views because of season 1's villain Lhong. Now, this is where the issue with TT 7 Years starts; 

It's fantastic writing, because not every BL has dimensional characters that go through character healing and development this way. The problem is this storyline is told in subtext. If you were me, then subtext is a fun way to watch a show, because it leads to the need to find clues and bring them to the surface and fit that with what the show is telling you. But if you can't see or have the patience to understand subtext, then you won't understand certain choices the writer makes. You'll end up feeling betrayed, annoyed and cheated by the story. Especially if the show is different from what you expected it to be because of watching and loving season 1.

 One of the biggest problems people complain about in TT 7 Years is that the TT is not in the show. Tharn especially does not have a lot of screen time in the show at times, the show really revolved around Type's regression to season 1's mindset because of his boss, and there's a reason for why that happened. It was so he dealt with his past and came out knowing why he needed to stay with Tharn forever as we see him in episode 8 and 9 realise. He found out; he couldn't be without Tharn so we'd reached a stage where marriage would have been possible for him in episode 10. Now the problem with this, is now he's grown, and everything is starting to be sorted out, Type has gone through his issues and dealt with them, and so we're all happy and excited, everything is meant to be perfect. But there was one thing Mame forgot and messed up in her writing. Tharn. 

And the sad thing is she started building this up in episode 1 to 3, but it got pushed to the side. She made Tharn stagnant, he was perfection and a supportive system to Type, but he hadn't dealt with his own issues and flaws. He hadn't grown. As much as she was showing with vigour the regression and healing of Type, we were also meant to be seeing the deterioration of Tharn into his season 1 mindset. (this is why they break up in episode 10, the reason he thinks Type would cheat with Fiat). There are still psychologically embedded scars with Tharn and whilst  Type dealt with his biggest fears; coming out to the public, trusting people with his sexuality etc. Tharn did not develop the same, and it breaks my heart because I get why TharnType had lower screen time at times in this season; it's to showcase the distance between them and their desperate need to be together. It's meant to show us how separated they are. It's fine that that's why you're doing this (the whole storyline is about this separation). 

Still, the thing is even if they're not together in the screen, what failed the show is that we saw Type regress and show his growth, but we didn't see Tharn have his own storyline and regression to the point in episode 10. We've been getting so much foreshadowing, so much subtext, so much build-up below the surface showing that this will happen, but we only see that outcome in episode 10.  Do you get the issue?  Now the reason for why Tharn is going to regress isn't going to make sense. 

The problem with break ups

Let's think about the problem with Tharn thinking Type would cheat on him. One they've been together for seven years, it's frustrating because it makes sense why he would think this way if you understood the subtext and you understand his mindset that has never healed from season 1, but if you don't know the subtext it falls apart. A writer is meant to give the audience enough clues properly on the surface as well as subtext, so they understand what's going on in your story.  The reason why season 1 of TT went well is because of the chemistry, intense storyline that was on the surface even then people didn't fully understand the subtext that was going on between the two, they didn't get the deep meanings of the psychological scars that they held, and how it affected their actions. All some focused on is that it was a love story of two people who were incredibly flawed but were meant to be together, but in TT 7 Years they're not given the same screen time to be together, so everyone feels cheated and frustrated when Tharn goes all of a sudden to; Type is cheating on me. When really there's no clues or evidence for you to be thinking this way. 

 Now the reason why this is insulting and upsetting is because when it's time to look at why they're breaking up after everything, the only reason you can say they're breaking up is because Tharn thinks Type would cheat so willingly without listening to an explanation... Really? So you're telling me that the disagreement about marriage, the conversation they've been building up about it, is not even going to be the reason for why they break up, the whole crux of the show since episode 1 -4. This has been built up this marriage dilemma, and we know that Type is finally now ready to get married and give everything to Tharn since he's realised he can't function without him, you're telling us that now that he's prepared for all that, that marriage disagreement theme isn't even the reason for why we get our most significant conflict, but Fiat is who's going to be a problem. 

The marriage disagreement is pushed on the down low, and when we're finally needing it to be the reason for why these two need to separate since that's what you've been hinting at above all things, it wouldn't make any sense to the audience why you've been building this up for so long. The two reasons for why TT was always going to break up since episode 1 with foreshadowings, subtext and hints is Fiat being a villain and coming to the storyline to make Tharn think Type is cheating and because of the marriage disagreement, Tharn is going through regression of his mindset to season 1. But we didn't get to see it. We didn't get to see Tharn show emotions struggling about thinking Type could be unfaithful or that he's really struggling with some psychological breakdown about fear of being left again. 

Instead, Tharn shows up out of nowhere, wants to propose to Type and sees Fiat do something to Type and thinks Type would be unfaithful. It's ridiculous to me from what I'm seeing in the trailer that he just doesn't hear Type out. And the second thing that's even more annoying about it is that it's Type who says they should separate. It makes no sense because we know from season 1 that it's a big thing for Type to say let's take a break or break up. He knows he shouldn't say that to Tharn. They made a promise to each other. It shouldn't have been Type who suggests again the break up it should have been Tharn. The emphasis of the relationship ending should have been Tharn saying I'm giving up on us. I don't feel like we're meant to be together anymore, not only is this painfully ironic because he's the one who's spent the whole season trying so hard to prevent their relationship from ending but we've just seen Type come to the realisation he can't be without Tharn so it'll hurt even more because his regression although irrational is understandable. So again the writing is messed up, and the storyline is cheap because you didn't even remember the immense impact of what breaking up means to TT and the huge meaning and clues in season 1. The audience feels cheated; it feels cheap like as if the story we've just watched was for no reason. 

The problem with subtext

Now I love TharnType with my whole heart. I've been defending and still believe this is written at times amazingly, but the cheating thing doesn't sit well with me when it comes to directors choices and writing. I think we've had three episodes dealing with TT being away from each other in these two to three episodes Mame should have been putting little doubts in Tharns mind building up, so we get the final breakdown of it. We should have seen him see clues or hints that doesn't sit well with him, for example, Fiat liking all of Type's post, seeing a message on Type's phone, hearing someone mention they saw Type with Fiat etc. He questions himself. He shakes his head, but it still lingers. We should have seen Fiat bump into him alone, (since he's manipulative and meant to be a better villain) when he was around and mention something about Type that piques his interest he pushes that down with worry. Then he runs to Type, and he says something like you're never going to leave me, are you?

For foreshadowing purposes. What this does, is that it doesn't blindside the audience into thinking one kiss or interaction would make him immediately regress and think his boyfriend of  7 years would cheat on him. What this does, is that it portrays his mental breakdown and regression as he keeps seeing hints or clues that make him regress back to his season 1 self with Lhong and Tar and we see just as we watched Type break down with the boss, his own decline. In fact other than the marriage proposal, the thing we should have seen him struggle with is doubt after doubt despite fighting it that he's not good enough to keep Types attention. Not that Type would hurt him on purpose, but he's not perfect for Type. 

This way, the conflict is more painful and more understandable when he shouts and accuses Type who is oblivious that he's been having doubts and that they should separate for a while. It should be Tharn that's saying let's end this irrationally. It should be him breaking down and regressing into his petty, stubborn self. That would have been hurtful and made more sense. He has many scars and trauma with people leaving him. It would have been nice that these three episodes when he was away, and Type didn't know he became vulnerable again into that mindset, it would have mirrored Types on regression into his season 1 mindset because of his boss. The two of them would be broken, need to separate for a bit, and we know and understand why and then fix their issues, miss each other, and return strong and confident in love. 

All we're getting is Tharn seeing clues immediately he arrives and making up some story in his head which makes no sense because Type may not be fully always romantic and wanting to marry but Type lets him know he needs him and isn't going anywhere. That being said, we don't know the whole situation, and it could be better explained in subtext next episode, but I am disappointed at how the Fiat villainy turned out. 

The problem with Leo and Fiat

After all the build-up, we should have had in episode 6 in my opinion as Fiat cried, the truth about him and Leo; a flashback to show why he's suffering and making the choices he's making. That way the audience wouldn't be so pulled away from him even in his despicable acts we'd still understand he's broken and thinking he has no other way but this.

Instead, we've gotten the same narrative repeated, and Leo says the same stuff, does the same stuff and Fiat and Leo speak about their feelings in riddles with each other.  Fiat makes no sense when he cries and cries over Leo and rejects his pleas to come to him when all we see is Leo in a sad, positive light as the only person who's genuinely suffering from this unrequited love when it isn't so; it's his undoing for judging Fiat for sleeping around. Fiat sleeps around because that's all people ask of him. He says it to Type that he tried the dating thing but all people wanted from him was his body, and we even see it actually in episode 3 on his date with that randomer why he sleeps around, it's because Leo isn't there or he feels he can't have Leo.

 So yes, you can slut-shame him for constantly wanting love and affection, looking for the right person for him to avoid Leo's rejections that he isn't that person. But he's just looking for a long-lasting relationship with someone who can make him feel better than Leo. Because Leo has adamantly been friend-zoning Fiat even before he started to sleep around, so that's why he doesn't believe in anything Leo says now because he's had to deal with this rejection for so long, I'm upset because Mame should have shown us on the surface not on subtext by now Fiats plight and his mindset.

 Because if I didn't know what was happening in subtext and I just thought Fiat was manipulative and evil and selfish then yeah I'd also be angry that Leo and Fiat keep going round and round in circles with 80% of the screen time. A lot of the reasons why Tharn and Type the show is being so negatively viewed is because of lack of energy from the director in fully helping us see the clues that Mame has left in the show. Because she's not a bad writer she structures plots and she has a bigger picture of why certain things happen but if they're not appropriately shown to the audience then yeah the show will flop and be seen in a negative light. 

So yes I feel by episode 6 we should have had Fiats backstory when he was breaking down crying over Leo the first time when he said something like "all I do is for you. I need to do this for you." Then watching his fight with Leo won't just hurt but it'll make more sense and when you see both of them crying it'd hurt just the same. Leo is an idiot, but I get his own mindset about the sleeping around because he doesn't want to be a fling to Fiat so he'll never confess. But he's just as bad as Fiat. And I wish people understood that. 

The problem with character development

Tharn needed more screen time even if he's not with Type. Him being seen as this perfect boyfriend every single episode only being irrational when it comes to the marriage disagreement should not have been this way. We should have been building up to his spiralling down his regression, his flaws that way when he and Type break up we really have understood why everything fell apart. The issue that I loved about this show at first is that everything is in subtext. Every clue to the plot, the character dynamics and the character mindsets; all of it is hidden in subtext and not fully fleshed out. This worked well in TT season 1 because the other plotlines joined together to form a narrative that was building up and leading us to the plot twist that Lhong was evil all along. But here it feels like every scene on the surface is a waste of screen time and writing when really the clues are just hidden. It's fun to analyse subtext, but when your storyline on the surface is filled with repetition and is going nowhere. The audience would feel cheated and unsure about what your message is. That's how I think many people are feeling seeing Tharn conclude with one clue or one day that Type cheated on him. It feels ridiculous and cheap as plotline because the build-up wasn't there.

So yeh I love TharnType, but I also am getting your frustrations with the plot. I'm also disappointed at some choices made in the show. Could it be better, yes? Is it the worst? No far from it!! But is it TT season 1? No. And so yeah we have another sequel that isn't the perfect follow up. I still think if you watch this show with season 1 together like a binge-watch, it'll be easier to see the subtext and understand the characters' actions. The way the story is being told would make more sense. And it'd be a great show still. Yeah, that's all I have to say. This is really my analysis for this week's episode. I'll just keep repeating the same things over and over again if I write another essay about the subtext. If you want to understand more about the show, you can check my previous analysis. 

[cina-full-moon-xanadium]

Rider Rewatch: Kuuga Episode 1

It’s Kamen Rider’s 50th anniversary, and while my main way of celebrating that is to finally watch the original 98-episode long original series... it feels almost wrong to celebrate such a momentous anniversary - 50 years!! - of a franchise that is very beloved and dear to my heart, without going back and revisiting seasons I’ve seen that hold a lot of significance to me. So... once a day, for the next week or so; I’m going to go back to the first episode of a season that has grand importance to Kamen Rider as a whole and/or is one of my favourites that had a big impact on me. And there’s no better place to start than Kuuga, I think!

Kamen Rider Kuuga. Where do I start with this one? It’s well-renowned as a beautiful, artistic series; one where many - including myself - would go as far as arguing that every single shot of every episode is deeply intentional and considered, a show that’s coming both from a place of love and nostalgia and a place of interrogating what does and doesn’t work about its genre; a show that puts so much faith in its messages of non-violence that it risked toy sales in such a way that Bandai would surely have pulled the plug were it not for its being a runaway success with its audience. It’s a magical show and one that I don’t think is ever going to run out of interesting things to discuss.

But one thing that I think does go understated is how much work goes into making its cast and setting feel normal. Perhaps more than most Tokusatsu seasons I could name - only Hibiki comes to mind - Kuuga’s characters from the outset are made to feel so grounded in the normal and mundane. Godai Yusuke is introduced to us doing that classic Kamen Rider deed of helping a kid he found... but it’s not necessarily any extraordinary feat, it’s simply that he happened to come across this crying kid and decides to try and make him smile before their parents can find them. Godai’s concern for people in need, Sawatari’s shock and horror, Ichijou’s simple offer to turn off video evidence if it gets too much for the two -- every moment with these characters reminds me of why I fell in love with them, because they’re all so human. Exaggeration can be an important tool to a genre like this but Kuuga has always stood out to me for how genuine it makes its characters in every scene, and that’s the strength of the show to me.

And it’s perfect for Kamen Rider because it translates into what’s so wonderful about this show: like so many before him and so many to success him, Godai decides to become Kamen Rider Kuuga and grab the belt because he saw people in danger, and disregarded all risks to himself to do something about it. And it leads to a hell of a battle -- there’s obvious props to not even debuting Kuuga’s actual main form in the first episode and leaving it till the second, but that’s not all in this show’s bag of tricks. The way they portray the power yet weakness of Kuuga Growing through his pushing the van; the way skirmishes in tight spaces like the helicopter and the rooftop ledge invite real fear; the way that this first battle is no heroic entrance but a downright struggle which the second episode will reveal did not even end in victory? Like I said, the creative team’s decisions with this show are a constant gamble that were it not for Kuuga’s immediate popularity would not have paid off, and it’s the sort of thing that makes this show all the more rewarding and impressive. Kuuga’s dedication to its portrayal of violence as nothing that’s ever good or noble is present not just in its infamous final battle but right here in the first episode that’s supposed to get people hooked and excited, and that’s fantastic.

Which, finally, leads to one of the last shots of the episode and one of the single things about Kuuga’s first episode and Kuuga as a whole -- Godai, transformed into this terrible powerful monster is alone on a helicopter with Ichijou, the police officer he just saved. Ichijou wonders out loud if this creature has just saved him, but it’s a tense and doubtful situation for sure -- so what does Godai do? He gives a simple thumbs up. It’s what Kuuga is famous for, for sure; but it’s the most perfect thing in the world -- a universal symbol that means peace and approval but is also obviously one that’s so casual and normal and human -- and that’s the one Godai chooses, that’s the motion that captures what a thousand words could not: the simple, normal human he is that just chose to help because he could. I love Kuuga.

[yetanotherfilmkid]

TV Shows I’ve Binged During Iso & Brief Thoughts on Them

I noticed lately that I have been watching far more series than movies so I thought I’d share a few thoughts on what I’m watching at the moment.

High Fidelity - I loved this show so much that I watched it twice (once by myself and the second time with my friend, Ethan). Definitely the standout feature of the show is the soundtrack, it sent me on a 4 week Bowie-Bender both times, and Rob’s outfits (much time was spent with Ethan discussing her killer style). I definitely recommend this if you’re a music lover.

Fleabag - Fleabag is competing to be my favourite show of all time. Even though I personally believe that season 2 was (eeeeever so slightly) better, the whole show is funny and brash and sad and relatable and I want to just loop it in my brain forever. High Fidelity and Fleabag are cut from the same cloth in subject/format but I think Fleabag does a more intimate job of it. This is easily one of the most satisfying shows ever, the character development is beautiful and doesn’t feel forced. Also, fourth-wall-breakers, take notes. Phoebe Waller-Bridge is just an amazing writer and actress, holy hell. 

The Good Place - I accidentally binge-re-watched all 4 seasons in 6 days (oops). I don’t even know where to begin on how much I love this damn show. It just keeps getting better as you go along, even though the first season is phenomenal, the rest just ...improves?? It’s genuinely hilarious (“I love you too, egg” has had me cackling at 3 am like a madwoman more than once) and the discussion on ethics and humanity is just *chef’s kiss*. It’s not often that you see a show with decent and insightful commentary on morals, politics, humanity and the good and evil binary; multiple POC in leading roles; genuinely good humour and aesthetics and set design that deserve love. Everyone should watch this show.

Community - This was another re-watch for me (Ethan recommended it to me a couple of years ago) but it has always held a special place in my heart. Much like The Good Place, the heart of the show runs through the idea that humans, together, are better and will make each other better people. I could continue to be sentimental about the characters but that wouldn’t give me enough time to gush about the several other beauties of the show for example, homages to classic movies, Donald Glover, the many 3%er jokes, paintball episodes, Troy and Abed doing literally anything, the absolute absurdity of the show, the list is infinitely long and it’s only a matter of time before I accidentally summarise each individual episode. #SixSeasonsAndAMovie bitches ✌

Love - Ethan and I watched this together and it was pretty fantastic. We both agreed that Gus and Mickey were kinda overrated as a couple and as human beings but even so it was a fun and wholesome watch. We spent multiple hours bitching about all the characters, especially Gus and Mickey, and occasionally the writers. This is the kind of show you watch because you’re super invested in the side characters and have a reluctant soft spot for the main characters, but as a whole is entirely lovable. (Bertie deserves better).

Midnight Gospel - Midnight Gospel is an absolute trip to watch. Animating a podcast was a really cool idea but how can we possibly make it cooler?? By animating groovy space creatures in psychedelic palettes of course! The whole show is sensory overload in the best way possible and I want to re-watch it asap because there is so much to absorb in such a short amount of time. Even though the early episodes are totally awesome, the last few episodes are my favourites by far as they feel more personal and not gonna lie, I cried in the last episode. I really hope it comes back for more seasons because it was a really strong start.

Normal People - I read the book and then counted the days til the series came out. I’m not joking. I loved this adaptation a lot. It paid a lot of respect to the book but managed to divert comfortably into its own medium too. I was super worried they’d turn it into a flowery teen romance series and I’m infinitely grateful they didn’t. Ethan thought that the series was actually an improvement on the book whereas I love them both equally. The two highlights for me were the cinematography, the shots were so damn pretty, and the pacing of the script, it left a lot open for the audience to sit with and think about before moving on. It’s probably one of my favourite adaptations of a book ever.

Unorthodox - Ethan and I watched this most recently and this is another one everyone needs to see. I’d like to start this by saying I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Hasidic community portrayed in any media before which was really interesting, I feel like majority of devout followers in media are Christian so this was an interesting learning point for me. Unorthodox was really beautifully made and, most importantly, it was made by people who genuinely care about the story. The absolute standout was the amount of raw emotion packed into it all. The characters don’t even need dialogue for us to feel what they’re feeling. Shira Haas did a phenomenal job portraying Esty. I think it’s also important to remember that it’s not an indictment of religion, but rather, an exploration of Esty’s personal relationship with God and herself. Just thinking about this show makes me want to talk about it for hours

One Day at a Time - I watched this one with my sister @juicebox-baby and holy crap it is extremely wholesome. It’s your classic family sitcom but it’s also super heartfelt and inclusive. Full disclosure, I cried like an absolute baby on like 5 or 6 separate occasions. At times, the writing feels like it’s trying to cram too much in and as a result, the arcs can feel a little bit rigid but that’s fairly easy to look past in favour of the really sweet family feel. Also I have to take a second to say that Abuelita is a gift to humanity.

Killing Eve - Phoebe Waller-Bridge is back. Can Jodie Comer and Sandra Oh please get all of the awards for having stupid amounts of talent? Not to quote the ads but they really do have killer chemistry and it’s a little offensive how amazing they are. I don’t normally go for murder/espionage shows but there was something about this one that had me completely hooked. Even my mum (who falls asleep during every. single. show.) managed to stay awake almost the whole time and was nagging me to watch the next episode with her. 

[keyofjetwolf]

Hi would you like some rage about She-Ra season 5?

If the answer is no, please don’t click below. For real. Really for real. I’m not looking to piss in anyone’s Cheerios. I think if you were satisfied (or better!) with the show, that’s fantastic and I envy you. As I have always said, love what you love. My opinion is mine and means precisely nothing beyond that. If you think you may be even a little bummed reading about how someone didn’t like it, skip this post and go on with your day, I promise you’re not missing anything worthwhile.

IN A SIMILAR VEIN: If -- before, during, or after reading -- you feel inclined to argue with me, I am begging you to please not. I cannot begin to tell you how much I don’t want to be argued with on this right now. I’m still extremely disappointed and cranky, and I’m not much in the mood to have a measured, reasoned debate about my feelings. Much as my opinion has no bearing on you, your opinion has no bearing on me, and as I’m giving you the option to opt out, I’d appreciate the same courtesy. If you want to write your own post on your own blog, go nuts! Just please leave me out of it. I PREFER TO BE CRANKY AT TELEVISION SHOWS THAN PEOPLE.

The rest of you, come on down. I don’t promise coherency, but I DO promise a lot of stuff said in all-caps!

---

Hello! Thank you for joining me! We watched the remaining few episodes of She-Ra last night! I hated them! Yaaay!

What did I hate? OH HO HO MANY THINGS FRIENDS MANY THINGS. It’s not just stuff from the final couple of episodes either, I want to clarify. It’s the entire final season, settling on last few episodes like the freshly fallen snow on your front lawn that some frat boys decide to pee their names into. By the time we’d gotten to these last episodes, there was really nothing left for me but confirmation of all the shit I’d come to hate. SO THANKS I GUESS FOR PROVING ME RIGHT

Which isn’t to say there was nothing to enjoy in the final episodes! There was!

5. She-Ra’s Triceps. GET BUFF GIRL. I LOVE how Adora and She-Ra look similar, but very much not identical. Adora’s no slouch when it comes to physical stuff, but they go the extra mile to show us how She-Ra is that much more. HOW RARELY DO YOU GET TO SEE A WOMAN WITH MUSCLES. I’ve been nothing but impressed by the ways the show drew the line between Adora and She-Ra, and however I felt about its handling of other elements, it didn’t let me down here.

4. Sometimes A Family Is A Twink, A Lizard, And Their Imp Baby. I don’t have further commentary on this, and I need none.

3. Welcome Home, Daddy. THIS WAS SO SPECTACULAR. Glimmer had, I would argue, the most realized arc in the story. It was so gratifying to see this as a culmination, not just of her own struggle with her magical power and ability to harness it, but her willingness to do what needs doing, however personally difficult. That was a stumbling point Angelica could never overcome, continually trying to micromanage and protect Glimmer rather than trusting her and recognizing her for the asset she was. Also though, more succinctly: YESSSS BITCH

2. A Shanty! THIS WHOLE SCENE WAS PERFECT NO NOTES. Just the right blend of silly and sincere, a genuine delight as even brainwashed Mermista had had enough of Sea Hawk’s shit, AND so much more clever than it seemed at first glance. THIS IS THE ONLY VALID HETEROSEXUAL RELATIONSHIP IN SHE-RA I AM NOT TAKING QUESTIONS AT THIS TIME

1. Shadow Weaver. SHADOW FUCKING WEAVER. What a complicated, fascinating character, bar none the most interesting in the entire series. I do think they pulled their punch right at the very end with her, but I AM capable of remembering I’m watching a kid’s show, so I can only get so disappointed about it. Mostly, she remained a beautifully morally complex character, and she was one of my greatest personal delights from beginning to end*.

(*) Boy did this show have one single solution for mommy issues though.

THAT WAS ABOUT IT. So let’s get to why we’re all really here, and that is MY SCREAMING OH MY GOD WHERE DO I BEGIN

Nah, I know exactly where to begin.

GLIMMER AND BO JESUS MCTRISKET I AM GOING TO EXPLODE AND SHOWER THE UNIVERSE IN THE SHRAPNEL OF MY HATE

WHY IS THIS HAPPENING

WHERE DID IT COME FROM

HOW CAN I SHOVE IT BACK IN THE HATEFUL SPEWHOLE THAT SIRED THIS BULLSHIT

WHY WHY IS THIS HERE WHY IS THIS IN MY FACE WHERE MY EYES HAVE TO SEE IT FUCK ME SIDEWAYS THIS IS THE MOST UNNECESSARY SHOEHORNED IN HET ROMANCE FUCK A DOODLE NONSENSE I HAVE EVER HAD THE MISFORTUNE TO BEAR WITNESS WHAT IS IT DOING IN THIS OTHERWISE EXPONENTIALLY GAY CARTOON

WERE YOU PANDERING TO THE STRAIGHTS

WHY ARE YOU PANDERING TO THE STRAIGHTS I ASSURE YOU WE ARE COVERED BOTH HISTORICALLY AND FICTIONALLY

ALSO NEED I REMIND YOU THAT YOU HAVE ALREADY ACHIEVED HETEROSEXUAL PERFECTION

NO MERMISTA NO WE ARE NOT ALL JUST LIKE OKAY WITH THIS

Oh my FUCKSTICKS, I could’ve rolled with so much more that angers/disappoints me about She-Ra’s ending if every single thing I feared about this hadn’t proved true.

AND. IT. WAS. SO. UNNECESSARY.

What exactly did pairing off Glimmer and Bo do for the story? For their characters? THIS IS THE PART THAT’S STABBING ME IN THE DELICATE WEBBING OF MY TOES. Because -- COME WITH ME A MOMENT SWEET ANGELS -- because I was under the impression that, oohhhh, I dunno, FRIENDSHIP WAS A HUGE FUCKING IMPORTANT PART OF THIS PASTEL HELLSCAPE

Is it, She-Ra? IS IT REALLY???? When not one but BOTH of your childhood friendship pairings end in romance? When you close out your five seasons with romantic relationships so painfully and specifically sown across the character landscape like an overzealous gardener turned loose on the world?

You know what you have at the end? DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID

THIS ISN’T A BEST FRIENDS SQUAD IT’S A DOUBLE DATE THAT NEVER MERCIFULLY ENDS

And again I ask, Why?? What was it about Glimmer and Bo’s relationship that needed them to become romantic? What was LACKING that this was the solution?

THIS IS WHAT MAKES ME LOSE MY GODDAMN SHITTING MIND I AM SO FUCKING DONE WITH THIS INSIPID MYOPIC TRASHBAG OF A CONCEPT

I believed She-Ra’s entire premise about friendship, I believed it wholeheartedly, and I’m so PISSED that at the close of day, narratively, it swept it all the bin. AND YES, YES IT DID, otherwise, WHY IS IT THERE. It serves no story-based need, it serves no character-based need, it has no NEED at all. So is it meant to be a “reward” to Bo and Glimmer for winning the war, as if their lifelong friendship were not reward enough? Is it meant to show they’ve walked through the flames and emerged with stronger, deeper bonds, because of course a relationship can only go SO deep without fucking. There’s no avenue to Romantic Relationship that doesn’t simultaneously point to something lacking in Platonic Relationship, AND I AM FURY PERSONIFIED

I am so tired of this. I’m SO TIRED of this.

And it didn’t need to be there. They didn’t even TRY to give us a good reason. That may be the part that makes me the angriest. Of COURSE they hook up romantically, of COURSE their platonic love would grow into “more”.

Fuck YOU, She-Ra. I thought you were better than that. YOU WERE SO CLOSE TO BETTER THAN THAT

THEN THERE WAS CATRA

I get it, I guess. I mean, I think it’s shittily written, but I GUESS. Honestly, end of day, I just don’t care about Catra enough to really get too angry about it, particularly when as I’m so fucking incendiary over something much more important to me. But it’s also the show’s greatest creative failure, and even if I HADN’T gotten angrier at other choices, it would’ve still cut its own legs out from under it.

Catra’s “redemption” was weak and sad and did a disservice to her and everyone involved. She started self-centered and shitty, and she ended just as self-centered and shitty, only we’re fine with that now. She learned nothing and changed nothing, but also nobody ever demanded it of her, so I can only lay so much at the character’s feet. The problem is ultimately creative, where I think Noelle Stevenson got lost in her own love of the character, and somewhere along the way forgot that if you take them out that far, you have to be willing to walk them the long road back. Compare to poor Glimmer, for fuck’s sake, whose greatest sin was being desperate enough to be manipulated by the character whose entire fucking DEAL is being THE manipulator. How much shit did she get for that? How long was she punished? Meanwhile Catra becomes THE Big Bad for a while, nearly unravels all of reality in a fit of supreme lesbian angst and self-pity, directly leads to the death of the planet’s ruling monarch who also happens to be GLITTER’S MUM and DIRECT FRIEND TO THE SHOW’S HEROES, but that’s fine, you did one sorta good thing one time and even though it was also wrapped in a thick film of self-pity and a final fuck-you at Adora, all is forgiven!

Speaking of, Adora suffers just as much from stunted growth. From the beginning, her thing was control, unable to free herself from the responsibility of everything and everyone. What did we have at the end? Adora as the only one who could save everything and everyone. Yeah, they kept asking what it was SHE wanted, BUT THEN SHE NEVER ACTUALLY GOT TO CHOOSE. NOT activating the failsafe wasn’t an option for her, and while she wound up not having to die to do it, even that wasn’t her choice in the end, it was Catra’s. (Don’t even get me started on her nth hour “You love me?” fuckery when it wasn’t once for one single second shown to be a question of such life-turning importance.)

All of which could be interesting! That Catra and Adora went through all this, came so far to wind up right where they started? AWESOME. LOVE IT. FUND IT. But really all that happens is nobody minds now that Catra’s a self-involved little shit and tee-hee another Best Friends Squad Mission being bullrushed by Adora within five minutes of ending the last one isn’t that funny?

I can’t even dig much enjoyment out of Adora and Catra as a trope subversion (if one of them was a male, their romantic involvement wouldn’t have even been a QUESTION), because the show lost its fucking mind with romantically pairing everybody off in the final five minutes. WHICH BRINGS ME RIGHT BACK TO MY PREVIOUS SCREAMING SO I’LL STOP THERE.

There was other stuff, of course. I think it was a TERRIBLE decision to spend the last season with the focus split between the two groups of rebels, and writing half the cast into brainwashing. I think the Nettossa and Spinnerella stuff was wasted and lacked any punch at all because the show for some reason or another couldn’t be bothered to let us spend any time with them to care. The waste of Scorpia and Mermista especially (to people named Jet Wolf who are me) was fucking CRIMINAL. Speaking of Scorpia, wouldn’t her showdown with Bo have been so much more poignant if they’d had really any kind of interaction before that moment to build from? (Sure, it’s Scorpia, so if you’re going to sell the lack of context with anyone it’s her, BUT ALSO.) Hey, remember Huntara? No? NEITHER DID THE SHOW.

All my details aside though, MY MANY MANY MANY DETAILS, what kills/rages me most about She-Ra was how so much potential from the first four seasons was just flushed away. Whether it was the creative team shooting itself in the foot or corporate pressure and rushing from Netflix, I don’t know. I don’t CARE. This is the show I was given, so this is the show I have, and that kind of fall after that kind of potential doesn’t just irritate me, it makes me SAD. I wouldn’t be this disappointed if I didn’t think it could have been -- WAS -- so much more.

Time will tell if I can separate out the final season from how much I loved those that came before it. I like to hope so, because I did love it intensely and loved whenever I got the chance to really dig in and talk about it.

WHATEVER ELSE I SUPPOSE I WILL ALWAYS HAVE THIS

Again please remember that I am not at present looking to argue or debate my feelings and opinions. I get to just be angry and disappointed, as a treat!

[sweetsoobinie]

Do u have any txt blogs you’d recommend I really like yours and feel like you’d have great taste

thank you sweet anon!!! and yes, i do have great taste, all of the blogs i mention are absolutely wonderful 😌 please check them out if you haven’t already!!!

@txtdream: all of tanya’s works are incredible, adorable, and hilarious, i don’t think i’ve read through anything she’s written without giggling to myself like a child. also she’s coming out with a richkid!taehyun fic soon that from the preview alone seems amazing!!!

@yeonjuncore: sae’s writing LITERALLY blows me away, she should be paid for it istg. her series demimondaine and revenant have me hooked!! i feel like i have an actual novel in my hands when reading her works, they’re absolutely fantastic and i love them so much :’)

@star-daegyu: ace has a library of works and every single one of them is adorable and amazing. also her blog is so aesthetic and beautiful??? i love seeing all of her posts because they’re so nice to look at!!!

@pxppinstars: sara’s writing is super cute!! i’m super excited for her and @spookybias’s beomgyu series “listen before i go”!! i really love the concept and think it’s super intriguing from the first part alone!!

@spookybias: ahh her writing is so cute too!! i really love her headcanons and her “little things that matter” posts, they make me drop multiple uwus. she also writes for stray kids i believe, so her blog is great if you’re a multistan :)

@luvmoa: rynn’s writing is amazing and so adorable!! i especially loved her tae “paper airplanes” fic, it was super unique and cute!! also the aesthetics at the top of her works are top notch, they look really nice :’)

@ye6njun: her blog is so sweet and wholesome?? every time i see any of her posts on my dash, even her anons, i smile because she’s so cute and her writing is even cuter if that’s possible. i absolutely love her headcanons, they’re so fluffy and well done!!

@momentsofalwaysness: i am the biggest simp for her writing, every single one of her fics made my heart flutter and i love them so so much. i may or may not reread them all the time uwu her yeonjun college au “when the universe puts your hand in mine” was amazing, please read it and love it as much as i did!!!

@s-uwu-binie: i love kim’s headcanon posts so much!! they’re extremely cute and fluffy, two adjectives i absolutely love in case you couldn’t tell lol. she also has a bg mind-reader fic that i adore, i thought it was so original and unique when i first read it!!

@bffsoobin: her writing is so good!!! i really loved her “just one day” idol!yeonjun fic, i had many Thoughts™️ and Emotions™️ after reading it, i may have gotten a little too attached to idol!yeonjun kskshds

@soobindipity: her blog is quite new i believe, but all of her works are really fantastic and i love them a lot!!! her angel!beomgyu fic “vanity” was especially stunning + well done, i felt for him so much :’(

@taheyun: i really love her work!! i can’t wait to see more of her writing because what she’s posted so far is great!! :) her recent fic “a lovely night” was amazing and i was rooting for bff!yeonjun so hard the whole time

@euphoriatxt: i actually fell in love with her headcanons, they’re hilarious but also PERFECTLY aligned with the members personalities!!! i can’t wait to see more of what she makes because they were so entertaining!!

@starrytxt: i really love her ongoing idol!reader x idol!yeonjun social media au!!! its really great and if you like content like mine/image based stories then her blog is perfect :)

If I missed anyone, please let me know!! But these are the moa writers I love and admire, in no particular order! As you can see, I read a lot but can’t write to save my life hskdkfjs