#the whole plot occurred over what two or three days??? nobody had time to spare to reconsider joining the murder veneration club

[jetlaggingbehind]

its crazy how the entire plot of transformers one could've been derailed completely if orion and d16 had just. any moment at all to chill out. bc d is shown to be conflict avoidant and generally level-headed, and it's not usually in his instinct to, yknow, start killing people??? he could've turned back to peace on the basis of his trust in orion alone— if they were just able to pick each other's brains about the whole situation and have a normal, non-rushed chat!! but noooo, they discover a political conspiracy then a revolutionary base and almost die many times... the breakneck speed of the pacing almost feels like the writers built up megop's relationship so well that it occurred to them that their cool story idea would start unravelling the moment orion and d had any time to hang out whatsoever, so boom! get kidnapped, sucker!

[overcomeyouraversiontohistory]

How to Overcome your Aversion to History in No Time

Let’s face it: Back in high school most of us had a history teacher (or two) who made us hate or even fear history. She or he would walk into the classroom with a (gulp) history book and a couple of spare pencils for those of us who had managed to “forget” to bring a pencil to class that day.

Some of us would look the other way while the (gulp) history book was dropped on the teacher’s desk with a thud. A few students wondered if that was the day in which they would finally be brave enough to make a dash for the fire alarm (they knew the exact number of steps and the exact amount of time needed to get there), after which the building would be cleared and, by the time someone figured out that there was no fire, first period or second period or whichever period would be over and there would be no history lesson.

Others secretly hoped to get a coughing fit, or a sneezing fit, or an epileptic fit, or any fit that might excuse them from class.

But nobody pulled the fire alarm, and nobody had a fit, and so the torture began.

First the teacher called on you, seemingly at random, and told you to start reciting some names and dates that you were supposed to have memorized the day before: Rome 476 … Hastings 1066 … Constantinople 1453 … Paris 1789 … Normandy 1944 … Berlin 1989. Your classmates crossed their fingers hoping that they would not be called on when you failed to regurgitate those useless bits of information. 

 When the teacher was satisfied with the fact that she had humiliated nearly everyone in the classroom, she’d start a new lesson. Students opened the textbook to the page she or he indicated, and either took turns reading aloud a paragraph or two, or, if the teacher was of the lazy kind, each student had to read the entire lesson in silence.

 Some students made the mistake during the first days of the school year to ask the new teacher a question.

 “Excuse me, teacher, I don’t understand something.”

 The teacher then gave you an epic death stare and said something like:

 “What! You don’t understand? Maybe you should read it again!”

 If after reading it twice you still had a question, the teacher not only did not answer it (she or he probably didn’t know the answer anyway) but broke into a maniacal fit of laughter, making you feel like a total idiot.

 At the end of the school year you simply hoped for a passing grade, and then you went home to plan and plot how to destroy all history books (and maybe history teachers too).

 Don’t get me wrong. I have great respect for books and I would never abuse one, although I did once. It was the time when I threw a history textbook into a bonfire, the one I used in Mrs. Doe’s class. (Don’t worry, Mrs. Doe, I won’t reveal your real name, but you know who you are!) I had hated every minute of the class and then I went and took out my fury on the poor innocent book. (Yes, poor innocent thing. It didn’t choose how it would be used by the teacher, or did it?) I stood there for a while, looking at the smoldering remains, until there was nothing left but ashes.

 At this point you may be thinking that I never picked up a history book again. That couldn’t be further from the truth. In fact, years later, when I had overcome the trauma of being in Mrs. Doe’s class, I did pick up and read hundreds of history books. I even got an MA and then a PhD in history. And I love it! 

 So now I want to help you overcome your dislike or fear, like I did, and I will show you how by making a few suggestions.

 ONE.

Let’s say that you are bored out of your wits because it has been snowing for days and the piled-up snow on your porch won’t even let you open the front door. So you decide to flip through the TV channels and you see nothing but the usual lame drama that is identical to other lame drama, or boring and predictable scandals that sound just like other boring and predictable scandals. 

 I want you to go online (Wikipedia is usually a good place to start) and google something like: Top ten cases of political assassination in ancient history, or The five spies who changed the course of Italian history, or Intrigue and the English throne.

 You will quickly find out that reality, as we know it from history books and websites, can be far more fascinating than anything sitcoms or soaps (or so-called “reality shows”) can produce. Chances are you will not only read the particular article that you first found but you will follow links to other history sites in order to learn all the juicy details. 

 TWO.

Next time you see an event and a date, say, Sarajevo 1914, instead of rolling your eyes (it’s OK, it’s a normal human reaction when confronted with seemingly-random information) and trying to remember why you should care, google it. Wikipedia or another website will probably do more than your history teacher ever did for you, not only by naming the players involved but also by explaining the context of the events that took place in Sarajevo in 1914.

 Eventually you will get used to asking about the context of events. The assassination that took place that day was just the last spark needed to set off the First World War. But its many causes went back over half a century. Go ahead, look them up. You will see that the war was about more than little airplanes carrying machine guns and hero pilots.

 THREE.

Pick up any object in your house, say, a pencil, an article of clothing, or a gadget. Try to figure out how much you know about it: why do you use or wear it, why has it been created like that, how long have people been using or wearing it. Fill in the gaps using Wikipedia.

 Soon you will learn not only about the object and its history but you will also learn a lot about trade, both in the modern world (don’t people all over the planet buy items stamped “Made in Taiwan”?) and also in antiquity. Did you know that wealthy Romans 2000 years ago were wearing silk from faraway China? 

 If you have the time that day and are a little curious, google something like Consequences of trade in the ancient world, and you will find out that people took more than just objects with them: they took ideas (political, religious, etc.), they took diseases (if you don’t believe me look up Black Death), they took technologies, and so on.

 If by now you are not completely hooked on history, continue with:

 FOUR.

Let’s say that you are watching or reading the news and you learn that unrest in country X (Spain, Russia), where one small section of the population is trying to secede (Catalonia, Crimea), has led to large-scale attacks on innocent civilians, some of whom have died or been seriously wounded.

 You may want to google country X and find out exactly what is going on (don’t expect the media to tell the whole story): why does a group want to separate (ethnic motives, religious motives, political motives), how long have they been trying, why won’t the leaders allow a part of their country to secede.

 Chances are that after you find out everything you always wanted to know about the topic, you will want to know where else in the world similar attacks have occurred. You will probably google Terrorist attacks in ancient Rome and find out that in 88 BC, king Mithridates of Pontus ordered the murder of 80,000 Roman citizens (men, women, and children) in several cities of Asia Minor (modern Turkey) because they had been conquered and annexed to the Roman republic. To say that the people who carried out the attacks were not happy about the annexation would be an epic understatement.

 FIVE.

You see yet another Kardashian story in the news (whether it involves one of the sisters or the brother or the mother is irrelevant) and you want to gag. Their lives were never interesting in the first place, so why are they always in the news? And why do we have to read about them or see them?

 Well, we don’t. Throughout history there have been thousands of people whose lives have been more interesting (and relevant). So may I suggest googling Famous people in ancient Britain, or Celebrities in ancient Rome, or Women warriors throughout the ages? You’ll be glad you did. And I can assure you that you will be in awe when you see the accomplishments of some of those people.

 SIX.

Let’s say that you hear about a cringe-worthy issue, such as human trafficking or pedophilia, both of which are (sadly) constantly in the news. You wonder what kind of people could possibly be so cruel as to hurt children, women, and men in ways that cause long-term damage of all kinds.

 You also wonder who first came up with the idea that it is OK to abuse other human beings. Google something like Origins of slavery, and you will find out that this practice goes back more than 10,000 years. As soon as people settled down and began cultivating the land, they also starting acquiring more property, and that included human beings, who have been traded and abused ever since.

 You will also find out that the only difference between ancient and modern slavery or human trafficking is that, until about 200 years ago, in many parts of the world trafficking was legal and even encouraged by the authorities. In ancient Rome, for example, taxes had to be paid on the sale of a slave. Since the abolition of the slave trade and then of slavery itself, it has become illegal. But that hasn’t stopped the traffickers involved in a very lucrative business from enslaving and selling hundreds of thousands of human beings.

 SEVEN.

You have been invited to a party and volunteered to be in charge of the entertainment. You think this will be your opportunity to impress someone special. With the skills you have acquired by following suggestions 1-6 you will be able to come up with interesting issues from the past (distant or recent) and write each on a 3x5 card.

 Ask each guest to pull a card, read it, and say how that historical event may relate to current events. Chances are that everyone will be as amazed as you are by the relevance of the past in our lives.

 When you play this game, everyone will be a winner. You will be a winner because you will have been forced to do some research on the topics you wrote on the cards – and learned a lot. Your friends will be the winners because they will want to know where your passion for history came from, and will join the ranks of former history haters.

 So I hope these easy suggestions have helped you overcome your hatred and/or fear.

 You don’t need to go and get a degree in history. But you may have started to have fun (yes, FUN!) with history. And chances are that you are going to start questions about everything else you see, read, or hear in the news and elsewhere.  

 Please feel free to share your comments on the suggestions above and let me know if and how they have helped you. Any suggestions for future blogs are also welcome.

 Finally, here are some of the Kindle books that I have published, in case you want to explore the topics I have written about: Queens of the Ancient World, from A(da) to Z(enobia), The Fall of Rome: Lead Poisoning and other Myths, The Divine Augustus, in the Words of the Divine Augustus … More or Less, and I Spy … for Rome and her Enemies. You will find all of them on Amazon.com. I also write historical fiction, but that is a story for another day.