#the whole fucking attic is a triangle

[ogeneraloito]

some more deleted scenes of them. "look who is back! my old partner!"

then bill just... holding ford in order to calm down damn pack it up buddy

also i know people talk a lot about obsession on bills part but ford was also obsessed OBSESSED alright

[jupiterliketheplanet]

“Were… were your parents part of any secret organizations that you know of?” This got Tim’s attention. To be completely honest, there was probably a whole list of things he didn’t know about his parents. They were gone the majority of the year while they were still alive, and they weren’t exactly running to tell him about everything they were doing abroad in the short periods that they actually were back in Gotham.

“What do you mean?” Duke had a confused look on his face and slid over the envelope he was holding. When Tim picked it up, he immediately noticed a familiar symbol stamped onto the front. A symbol that he had never expected to find on a Tuesday afternoon in his parent's attic. A symbol that, up until that moment, he wasn’t sure was actually real.

The fucking Illuminati triangle was staring back at him.

Tim slowly lifted his head to look at Duke, a perplexed look on his face.

“Holy shit.”

“Holy shit.” Duke agreed.

(or; Tim joins the Illuminati just to prove that it's real)

[lemon-limeey]

Tim and Duke vs. The Illuminati By jupiterliketheplanet

“Were… were your parents part of any secret organizations that you know of?” This got Tim’s attention. To be completely honest, there was probably a whole list of things he didn’t know about his parents. They were gone the majority of the year while they were still alive, and they weren’t exactly running to tell him about everything they were doing abroad in the short periods that they actually were back in Gotham.

“What do you mean?” Duke had a confused look on his face and slid over the envelope he was holding. When Tim picked it up, he immediately noticed a familiar symbol stamped onto the front. A symbol that he had never expected to find on a Tuesday afternoon in his parent's attic. A symbol that, up until that moment, he wasn’t sure was actually real.

The fucking Illuminati triangle was staring back at him.

Tim slowly lifted his head to look at Duke, a perplexed look on his face.

“Holy shit.”

“Holy shit.” Duke agreed.

(or; Tim joins the Illuminati just to prove that it's real)

Words: 6,241, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English, Fandoms: Batman, Centric: Tim Drake centric & Duke Thomas centric

Resume: Tim gets benched and isn't allowed to do any work at all, he finds the Illuminati symbol on a letter to his deceased parents, and with the help of Duke, he wants to know about it and find out if it's real. Bruce is non too impressed once he finds out.

Review: Really good, short read but funny, will reccomend if you're going for something short and light hearted.

[karinyosa]

Gene and Brinker, good sir?

AHHH okay okay

what made you ship it?

reading the book lol. ok so i feel like there's a lot of context i need to explain for this beyond just the book's subtext bc there's a bit of personal lore here. before teaching us the book, my middle school english teacher introduced each of the central four characters with this powerpoint with a slide on each one, and the way she described them like archetypically and physically made it sound almost like (to MY middle school brain) a dating sim, in which gene was the main character. like the blurb already sounds very romance novelesque so jdkshfkh. ig it wasn't too big a leap. so we already have a baseline there.

i also think that in the book brinker and gene are a secondary and competing rivarly/friendship to gene and finny's rivarly/friendship, and i think that's where the tension between brinker and gene and brinker and finny comes from. in fact this is kind of just text, like brinker and finny i think are pretty explicitly competing for gene's attention. i'm pretty sure there are some like old asp posts from the earlier 2010s era of the fandom where people are like "brinker and gene/finny have such ex energy", but iirc it was more often finny? like i'm definitely not the only person to see this Thing brinker has going on with gene, but at the time i'm p sure brinkerfinny was the more widespread take. anyway. brinker pursues gene so relentlessly both as an antagonist and as a guy who just Needs to be doing things with him, Needs to be occupying his time and attention. and yet they maintain this weird friendship/understanding throughout. to me this was most pronounced with the whole enlistment thing, and that dynamic where gene had to choose between finny and brinker for the enlistment/not enlistment??? it just gave very love triangle energy. the intensity with which brinker is fixated on gene is like. it gives repressed queer guy with problems. it's beyond wanting to antagonize him, he just is constantly coming up with excuses to be around him and to orient his focus around the pursuit of this one guy. his need to be morally superior to the object of his pursuit feels very queercoded to me. it's a very funny contrast to other parts of the book where he and gene are seemingly chill and normal friends? boy has issues

2. what are your favorite things about the ship?

HOOOOOO okay i have a long answer for this because it has to do with how i accidentally made myself insane about them. so i have this really long winded headcanon-turned-sequel fic in my Brain and Mind about gene and brinker moving in together after the war for kind of money reasons and kind of personal reasons. gene has been depression camping in finny's family's attic for a long undefined amount of time, and brinker is like hey you need to get the fuck out of there come live with me idiot. cue several years later and this is where the fic starts. i usually have it start at the time that gene would've gone back to visit devon, because i like the idea of that whole thing happening during a hs reunion in devon town, in which he and brinker joint travel and stay with his family which is its own whole awkwardness but anyway. <- culmination of everything i've ever thought about them since eighth grade

most of my genebrinker thoughts center around this period of adulthood where they're not young anymore but they're not old either, and they have all this unresolved tension and shared trauma and resentment that spills over into their "present" relationship. i think this is where genebrinker would theoretically "actually" start, in adulthood. i think there could've been ambiguous things earlier, especially during their joint enlistment period if they happened to be together, but nothing very deliberate or openly acknowledged until much later. it's this delicious mix of both having an established very domestic and familiar dynamic, knowing this person's routines and habits inside out, and yet having this pent up unspoken something. and for gene and brinker, it's not just this quiet tenderness, although i think that's bound to happen sometimes when you're essentially apartment husbands. i think they'd blow up at each other and let things slip during heated moments that they don't mean to, mostly on brinker's side, bc i think brinker's been nursing some kind of crush since hs, whereas if gene returned brinker's feelings, i think they'd slowly build over time. their familiarity with each other is also very interesting because, while they have this odd like, daddy issues(?) solidarity in the book that again feels very queer, in adulthood, it's also this thing of like, they kind of shared the murder of one of their closest friends. my fav think about genebrinker is that they know the worst of each other, that they actively participated in some of the worst parts of each other's lives, but it's that coupled with like, arguing over dinner and visiting the parents and trying to hold down stable jobs. or i guess for something more connected to the actual book, that coupled with like, accompanying your friend to an awkward meeting with his dad

this is not even all the things i think about their dynamic or all the like underlying sources of tension in their adult relationship in my head, i also think they'd be in very different places in terms of sexuality, and that would come to a head at some point, but i'll stop here because this is a question about my favorite THING, not explain every thought you've ever had about them

3. is there an unpopular opinion you have about your ship?

i think the entire ship is an unpopular opinion lmfao. like 90% of this is my headcanons. ummm i have brinker being the more responsible of the two when i write them as adults, if still the more temperamental one, so that might be controversial? i think at this stage of their lives, he's more practical and better at home ec stuff, and gene cannot fucking take care of himself for the life of him. gene is running himself into the ground while brinker is like get your fucking socks off my floor

[ao3feed-brucewayne]

Tim and Duke vs. The Illuminati

by jupiterliketheplanet “Were… were your parents part of any secret organizations that you know of?” This got Tim’s attention. To be completely honest, there was probably a whole list of things he didn’t know about his parents. They were gone the majority of the year while they were still alive, and they weren’t exactly running to tell him about everything they were doing abroad in the short periods that they actually were back in Gotham. “What do you mean?” Duke had a confused look on his face and slid over the envelope he was holding. When Tim picked it up, he immediately noticed a familiar symbol stamped onto the front. A symbol that he had never expected to find on a Tuesday afternoon in his parent's attic. A symbol that, up until that moment, he wasn’t sure was actually real. The fucking Illuminati triangle was staring back at him. Tim slowly lifted his head to look at Duke, a perplexed look on his face. “Holy shit.” “Holy shit.” Duke agreed. (or; Tim joins the Illuminati just to prove that it's real) Words: 6237, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: DCU, DCU (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: Gen Characters: Duke Thomas, Tim Drake, Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Stephanie Brown Relationships: Tim Drake & Duke Thomas Additional Tags: Chaotic Tim Drake, Chaotic Duke Thomas, Feral Tim Drake, Duke Thomas Being a Little Shit, Tim Drake Being a Little Shit (DCU), The illuminati - Freeform, tim drake is a moron, and joins the illuminati, just to prove that it's real, duke encourages him, Bruce Wayne is So Done, Crack, Comedy, Batfamily (DCU), Batfamily Shenanigans (DCU) via https://ift.tt/6130hHP

[nighttimeebony]

Reactions to The Last Olympian. Spoilers under the cut. And warning: long-ass post ahead.

EDIT: part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4

Yay, Rachel’s back! I like that Percy is able to have a mortal friend.

Paul is cool.

Look, I love Rachel, but why does there have to be a goddamn love triangle? Percy likes Annabeth, Annabeth likes Percy, you’ve already put the work into making me like them and we all know they’re going to be endgame, so why does there have to be so much fucking romantic drama? Can’t Percy and Rachel just be friends without the weird romantic tension? This whole plot is busy enough on its own without you trying to shove something else in at the last minute just because you’re bored, RICK.

Wow, Percy really doesn’t get to have any downtime, does he? My boy’s really on “save the world o’clock” time at all times.

Yay, Beckendorf! I love you!

OH MY GOD AND HE’S ACTUALLY DATING SILENA???!!!! Oh, that makes me so happy!! I love that my little background crackship is actually canon! And the fact that they were apparently Camp Half-Blood’s “yeah, we know” ship is hilarious and I love life right now.

Ooh, bombs.

Wait. No. No no no no no no no stop

FUCKING STOP, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!

WHY?!?!? WHY DID BECKENDORF HAVE TO DIE?!? RICK!!! WHY??!!! WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME

I can’t even be happy that Tyson is here, I’m already so fucking depressed and it’s your fault, Rick.

Oh, hey, Triton. Which, fun fact, since Triton is Ariel’s father in the Disney movie, this means that (in the Disney canon at least) Hercules and Ariel are canonically cousins. So, hypothetically speaking, Percy would be related to the Disney princess Ariel, which you can’t convince me he doesn’t brag and joke about all the time.

“[Poseidon] had told me that I would know when to ‘spend [the sand dollar],’ but so far I hadn’t figured out what he meant. All I knew was that it didn’t fit the vending machines in the school cafeteria.” I love that the implication behind this is that Percy actually tried. He took this mysterious magic sand dollar that the god of the sea gave him and told him to spend wisely and wait for the right time to use it, and one day while he was at school, this fucking mad lad child decided to just cram it in the vending machine just to see what would happen. Percy is amazing and if you don’t love him, you’re wrong.

“Annabeth ran in right behind him, and I’ll admit my heart did a little relay race in my chest when I saw her. It’s not that she tried to look good… Still, just seeing her made me feel fuzzy in the head.” Actually screaming.

Clarisse’s friendship with Silena makes me so fucking happy. Clarisse is softer than she wants people to know and I love that about her. She’s so gentle with the people she loves and I’m here for it.

“Chiron and Annabeth exchanged looks, like they knew something that I didn’t. I hated when they did that.” Understandable. It happens a lot.

Oh, I recognize the name Chrysaor. Such a random reference, I love it.

JUST ADMIT YOU LIKE EACH OTHER YOU FRUITCAKES

“We headed downstairs to join the others. I didn’t know it then, but it would be the last time I ever visited the attic.” You know, Percy says something along these lines in every one of the books leading up to this one, and you’d think that I would learn to stop freaking out every time we get one of these lines, but you’d be wrong. Still getting anticipatory nausea and anxiety.

"The mountain tore itself apart, collapsing inward, and an enormous form rose out of the smoke and lava like it was emerging from a manhole." Typhon?!?!?! Do we have to deal with Typhon now too?!

Well shit, I guess we have to deal with Typhon now. Yeah, okay, sure, I don’t mind or anything.

“As far as I could tell, Rachel’s only rule about music was that no two songs on her i-Pod could sound the same, and they all had to be strange.” Hey, Rachel and I have the same music library.

Wait, so Rachel’s getting future vision dreams now too? But she’s not a half-blood, right? I thought only demi-gods got prophetic dreams.

Where the hell is Nico? What has he been doing this whole time? Just chilling in hell with dead people? And what even is his plan and why is it bad?

I think Silena is my new favorite character. Eating chocolates she doesn’t even like to try and cheer herself up is so horribly sad and depressingly relatable.

Percabeth!

“I shuffled uneasily and pretended to go through some more reports. Technically, even on inspection, it was against the rules for two campers to be… like, alone in a cabin.” I see what you’re implying, Rick, and I’m laughing.

“And I know some of you might be thinking, Aren’t all demigods related on the godly side, and doesn’t that make dating gross? But the thing is, the godly side of your family doesn’t count, genetically speaking, since gods don’t have DNA. A demigod would never think about dating someone who had the same godly parent. Like two kids from Athena cabin? No way. But a daughter of Aphrodite and a son of Hephaestus? They’re not related. So it’s no problem.” This is exactly how I predicted half-blood dating works, and it absolutely did not need to be addressed, but I kind of love that it was. It’s probably only funny to me because I was talking to my friend about this exact topic during school, and I made a “god incest chart” on a whiteboard so I could figure out if Percabeth would be considered incest. We eventually decided no, but still. My other non-pjo fanatic friends definitely started to question my sanity after that.

OH MY GOD! Is something gonna happen?! Are they finally going to confess?! Please, God, just give me this!

FUCKING GODDAMMIT, RICK!!! YOU CAN’T KEEP BLUE-BALLING ME LIKE THIS OR I’M GONNA RIP YOUR HAIR OUT

Oh, yeah, where the hell is Grover?

Wow, Annabeth really going for the throat here.

Aww, giant hell puppy

Nico!

Aww, of course Nico is sweet with the hell puppy

“Leneus’s knees started knocking. ‘I… I won’t answer questions with this hellhound sniffing my tail!’ Nico looked like he was trying not to crack up. ‘I’ll walk the dog,’ he volunteered. He whistled, and Mrs. O’Leary bounded after him to the far end of the grove.” I love this child. This child is my spirit animal.

Aww, Nico likes Juniper. That’s kind of adorable.

“[Nico’s] cold creepy smile made me sorry I’d agreed.” Have I mentioned I love this child?

Okay, shadow travel is the coolest thing ever, and definitely one of the coolest powers you could give to a child of Hades.

Everything with Luke’s mom… Oh, that’s horrible. I can’t imagine having to come to the realization that your own parent isn’t entirely there, especially at so young.

Little girl… not a monster… and something to do with fire… Shit, I got nothing.

HESTIA! Goddammit… I should’ve known that one.

I like that Percy refers to both Paul and Sally as his parents.

I really like Paul. I love it when step-parents are portrayed in a positive light, ‘cause I’ve got a step-dad too, and he’s more of a dad to me and my brother than my biological father.

Percy telling Sally that his signal to let her know he’s alright will be blue just about broke me. Fuck.

Orpheus!

The black figure Grover saw—I know him. Hypnos, the god of dreams. He’s a twin brother to Thanatos, the god of death. I think in some versions, Hypnos is actually female, but most people seem to agree that Hypnos is a male deity.

MOTHERFUCKER! Okay, so not Hypnos. Morpheus. I guess that makes more sense. *one google search later* Okay, I was kind of right. Morpheus is the son of Hypnos, and while Hypnos is the personification of sleep, Morpheus is the god of dreams and also has the ability to put people to sleep like Hypnos. Close, but no cigar sadly.

Nico! Why would you trick Percy?? If you just told Percy that Hades wanted to talk to him, he probably would’ve agreed, you didn’t have to lie to him.

PERSEPHONE!!!!!! And Demeter!

Demeter being a massive bitch about Persephone choosing to marry Hades is so on-brand and perfect. And that line about marrying the god of lawyers or doctors—oh my God this book is amazing.

Can we have an entire book about Hades and Persephone, please? This entire scene with all three of them is golden.

Why does Hades suck? Why did you do this to me? I had faith in you, Rick.

WHY IS PERSEPHONE SO INDIFFERENT TO ALL OF THIS?!?!??!!

ACHILLES!!!!! Wait, isn’t Achilles supposed to be blond?

Is it a coincidence that one of Greece’s most famous gay icons now stands before Nico di Angelo?

ANNABETH IS PERCY’S LIFELINE!!!! HIS TETHER, THE THING THAT KEEPS HIM HUMAN!!!!!! ToT DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY GLASS I CAN EAT

Holy fucking shit…… River Styx magic doesn’t fuck around.

Percy going on a murder rampage and nearly stabbing the god of the underworld because they threatened his dog is honestly such a mood.

*GASP* Baby Annabeth!

“The god looked at Annabeth, who was doing her big-pleading-gray-eyes thing.” The fact that Annabeth leverages puppy-dog eyes is hilarious, and the fact that Percy is so familiar with it by now implies that she’s done it on him before and that it apparently works! Oh my God, I love these children.

Also, Athena being an overprotective mother who doesn’t approve of Percy is just… Have I mentioned I love this book?

“‘This is a huge spell,’ Silena Beauregard said. ‘The bigger the spell, the easier it is to resist. If you want to sleep millions of mortals, you’ve got to cast a very thin layer of magic. Sleeping demigods is much harder.’” Yeah, that makes sense. Since the spell is bigger and spread across a greater number of people, it’s less concentrated than it would be if you wanted to just knock out two or three people.

The Hermes Cabin is just an army of Weasleys. (PJO Harry Potter au where the Weasleys are all children of Hermes and Harry is a son of Zeus when?)

“‘I’ll go with Percy,’ [Annabeth] said. ‘Then we’ll join you, or we’ll go wherever we’re needed.’ Somebody in the back of the group said, ‘No detours, you two.’ There were some giggles, but I decided to let it pass.” Everyone knows Percy and Annabeth are completely obsessed with each other.

“The girl in the lead had spiky black hair and a black leather jacket. She wore a silver circlet on her head like a princess’s tiara, which didn’t match her skull earrings or her Death to Barbie T-shirt showing a little Barbie doll with an arrow through its head.” Have I mentioned that I love Thalia? Goth-punk icon for the generations.

This is so fucking epic. I love the fast-paced battle planning stuff.

Michael Yew has a brother named Austin. I have a brother named Austin.

Percabeth. There’s that light-hearted snarky banter I’ve been craving.

Oh, yeah, since Percy’s fighting the Minotaur right now, I figured I’d make a reminder here that I forgot to write down in my first reaction post to the Lightning Thief. In the original mythology, the Minotaur was killed by Theseus, who was also, coincidentally, a son of Poseidon, so Percy slaying the Minotaur is kind of like a mirror to the original myth, even though he’s named after Perseus. But also I thought this was a good time to remind everybody that the Minotaur’s mother Pasiphae had sex with the Cretan Bull, an actual animal. Which, fun fact, is because Poseidon arranged for Aphrodite to put a spell on Pasiphae to make her fall in love with the bull. Kind of awkward that the Minotaur is technically Poseidon’s fault, and now Percy is the one that has to deal with the consequences.

“Tied around the base of each blade were lots of bead necklaces. I realized they were Camp Half-Blood beads—necklaces taken from defeated demigods.” Holy shit, that is dark. We’re really going there, huh, Rick?

Percy is a first-class badass.

Having all the monsters disintegrate when they die is a pretty clever way to avoid having to show actual blood and gore.

ANNABETH!!!!!!!!!!

“‘Percy?’ Silena Beauregard sounded like she’d been crying. ‘Plaza Hotel. You’d better come quickly and bring a healer from Apollo’s cabin. It’s… it’s Annabeth.’” NO!!! NO NO NO NO NO NO DO NOT DO THIS TO ME!! I SWEAR TO FUCK IF SOMETHING HAPPENS TO ANNABETH I’M GOING TO SET MY HOUSE ON FIRE

“‘Get back!’ I slashed the air in a wide arc, driving the rest of the demigods away from Annabeth. ‘No one touches her!’” This. All of this.

Will Solace. I found the other gay one, but I can’t even be excited about that because ANNABETH IS PROBABLY GOING TO FUCKING DIE

Even when Annabeth has actual poison in her system, she cannot resist the opportunity to tease Percy for being worried about her. I’m deeply upset, but I still love them as a couple.

This entire scene is everything. Annabeth touching Percy’s weak spot—this is easily the most romantic thing I have ever read, and I read fanfiction for a hobby.

Okay, someone really needs to find this spy because they are wreaking shit and hard

I have no idea who the spy could even be. My first thought was Silena because of how prominent a character she is, but not only does that not make sense, but that would also be a fucking horrible idea. I don’t need to hurt anymore than I already do right now.

Wow. Holy shit, Nico’s life is a fucking tragedy. This child needs all the therapy after this. I’m not thrilled with this portrayal of Persephone, but it is what it is and it is fucking depressing.

What is going on with Rachel? She knows Greek now?? What is happening???

Oh, hey, Prometheus

*after learning about Luke's backstory* I can smell the redemption arc.

I feel I should mention that in the original myth, Pandora was the first woman and was created by Zeus specifically to make men's lives harder as punishment for Prometheus giving man fire, because Ancient Greece was sexist as all fuck.

HOLY SHIT!!! Percy is a first-class badass!!

Okay, so, Hyperion getting absorbed into a tree is prime nightmare fuel.

(Also, I was listening to We Will Rock You as I read this scene, which I feel is pretty apt.)

"'Yeah, baby!' a voice wailed. 'PARTY!'" Ah, I see the centaurs have joined the chat.

"The last part was because a panicked Hyperborean giant stumbled backward and sat on top of him. The lord of time disappeared under a giant blue butt." Only in Percy Jackson can you expect to read a sentence like this.

I love Dionysus being weirdly invested in Pac-Man of all things. That entire conversation between him and Percy in the bar was absolutely hysterical. Percy is such a snarky little shit and I love any interaction between him and Dionysus. It’s like watching two smart-asses trying to out-roast the other.

Sally and Paul!

Oh, no. Oh, this fucking hurts.

That fucking jar! Goddammit!

Rachel!

Annabeth, stop acting like Rachel isn’t already your friend now too. We established that last book, remember? You guys are nerd friends now.

YAS, ANNABETH! Girl held onto the outside of a crashing helicopter, and after pulling herself in, somehow managed to make sense of the controls and not only stopped the helicopter from crashing into a building, but also pulled it out of the fall to turn in a circle and hover before landing it on a New York highway with other people nearby without hitting anything or hurting anyone else. And she did all of this while the helicopter was literally seconds from crashing. Also also, technically only hours after she was stabbed in the shoulder with a knife coated in poison. *slow clap* BAMF Annabeth Chase, everyone.

“Rachel plopped down on the curb and put her head in her hands. ‘I’m sorry, Percy. I didn’t mean to… I always mess things up.’ It was kind of hard to argue with her, though I was glad she was safe.” Jesus Christ, Percy. Annabeth’s abandonment issues and poor socialization skills are not Rachel’s fault. But I guess she did just fly headfirst into a literal warzone, so I guess Annabeth’s reaction is a bit more understandable.

“I looked in the direction Annabeth had gone, but she’d disappeared into the crowd. I couldn’t believe what she’d just done—saved Rachel’s life, landed a helicopter, and walked away like it was no big deal.” Yup. You picked a good one, Percy.

"'Everybody keeps telling me to sleep,' I grumbled. 'I don't need sleep.' Chiron managed a smile. 'Have you looked at yourself recently, Percy?'" Yeah, for real, when's the last time any of these kids slept?

"You can't just abandon your family because they did something horrible." Um. Yes. Yes, you absolutely can. The abuse victim says you can. (It's me, I'm the abuse victims, and I give you full permission to tell your family to go fuck themselves if they've ever done anything horrible to you.)

I get what the message is intended to be, and what Nico's trying to say: wanting revenge is a valid feeling to have, but holding grudges and holding onto that pain and fury will not actually make you feel any better. And by refusing to help the Olympians in the fight against Kronos, not only is Hades ultimately destroying himself, but he's also inadvertently aiding in the destruction of everyone else. Zeus is really the only one that deserves Hades's revenge, but at this point Hades isn't just hurting Zeus, he's hurting everyone, and when you cross the line of hurting innocent people in your quest to hurt the one that's actually guilty, your desire and quest for revenge is no longer justified. And if you've reached the point of hurting innocent people for no other reason than to make yourself feel better, then you really are no better than the person who hurt you in the first place. But none of this has anything to do with the so-called sanctity of "family".

We really need to find this fucking spy. They're running everything.

CLARISSE!!!!! YAY CLARISSE IS BACK!!!!!!

"Through her war helmet, I could only see her eyes—but I could tell something was wrong. Her blue eyes shone with fear. Clarisse never looked like that. And she didn't have blue eyes." Wait, what? What's going on????

"I looked down at the dying face of Silena Beauregard." WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!!????!!! WHY?!!??!!!??? WHY DID SILENA HAVE TO DIE?!??!! HAS SHE NOT BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH ALREADY?!??!!!

"Silena opened her hand. In her palm was a silver bracelet with a scythe charm, the mark of Kronos." WHAT

This entire chapter is literally nothing but pain.

"Standing at the foot of Zeus's throne, looking up at the stars, was Rachel Elizabeth Dare. She was holding a Greek ceramic vase." Oh no.

"[Rachel] focused on me as if she were coming out of a dream. 'I found it. It's Pandora's jar, isn't it?'" OH NO

"Her eyes were brighter than usual, and I had a bad flashback of moldy sandwiches and burned cookies." OH FUCK

"I picked up Pandora's jar. The spirit of Hope fluttered inside, trying to warm the cold container. 'Hestia,' I said, 'I give this to you as an offering.' The goddess tilted her head. 'I am the least of the gods. Why would you trust me with this?' 'You're the last Olympian,' I said." Title drop! It's all coming together!

This is the hypest thing I have read in years.

Chiron! Please don't die, I am literally begging you.

NICO'S BACK!

Everyone here is a fucking badass

Paul just stabbed a monster with a sword, and Sally fucking shot another one! In stories like these with divine powers and weapons that begin and end with stabbing, you are not expecting someone to just pull out a fucking gun and shoot the thing. I love this book.

"'Thalia!' Grover cried. When the dust cleared and the mountain stopped rocking, we found her still alive, but her legs were pinned under the statue." Holy fucking shit!

"Annabeth wipes her tears away. 'There was a time I thought… well, I thought…' She looked at me, like she was drinking in the fact that I was still here. And I realized I was doing the same thing. The world was collapsing, and the only thing that really mattered to me was that she was alive." Love. Just love. It's beautiful and heartbreaking and I love these kids so much and I'm so glad they found each other.

"I turned and faced the Olympians. 'We need a shroud,' I announced, my voice cracking. 'A shroud for the son of Hermes.'" I mean…… What can I even say?

Percy's wish is everything.

OKAY, WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING TO RACHEL?!??! Someone really needs to do something about this!

I love that Percy refers to Blackjack as his pegasus.

RAINBOW! <3

Oh! She has the gift of prophecy! Now that makes sense!

Wait. OH, FUCK!!

Okay, I'm glad Rachel is okay, but these fucking prophecies, man! We literally just got done with the Great Prophecy, but now there's another one we have to deal with?! Don't get me wrong, I'm still gonna read it and I'll probably love it, but still!

The moment when Percy and Annabeth finally get together is everything I ever hoped for, and it completely justifies every goddamn fake-out leading up to this point. I'm just so happy right now

That ending, man..... This book series is amazing. I'm so glad I was able to fall in love with it without knowing any significant spoilers. I cannot wait to read The Heroes of Olympus. Maybe I'll do a reaction series for that too.

[footballshowrot]

season 3 ted lasso, just pissing some thoughts after watching the finale. talkin about things they fumbled unbelievably hardcore this season jsyk.

- the unrelenting force of forgiveness and tying everything up with a pretty bow extending to both the sam's restaurant being destroyed storyline and the james tarttt sr storyline. just wooooooof... Terrible. sam and jamie i'm literally gonna get u out of there.......

- keeley's plot this season was So disappointing. she used to be a driving force and here she felt like an afterthought, and i don't know if it was because KJPR was separate from the club, but she was just so disconnected. they dropped shandy, they dropped jack, hard. thank god for barbara because i liked a lot of her and keeley's scenes [snow globe :)]. and then in the finale relegated keeley to role of object of affection for jamie and roy to fight over👍awesome😐 love triangle plotlines suck ass majority of the time, and maybe jamie and roy in the finale could have been played funny for me [sorry to royjamie brain it for a sec, but they alone still are. intricate rituals and all that. that ripped shirt, bloody nose combo etc etc lmaoooo] but because the show has continually fucked keeley over this season it leaves a bit of a bitter taste. her kicking them out her house like yesssss literally. get their asses outta here. idk, romantic relationships aside, it just felt shit that for keeley's last episode she didn't even get to reap any positives of the platonic relationships she has with roy or jamie. [at least we have rebecca. society if keeley kissed rebecca in the finale] lol not really but u knooow. just after the shoddy love bombing plotline with jack, and the way her relationship with jack concluded and this in the finale, i hope she stays single for a while, and i think the show settled on that at least which okay.👍 she's literally keeley fuckin jones waaaaoough....

- the fucking locker room information PSA's........ maaaan i Know the show is cheesy feelgood tv but season 1 was not just morality lesson central with characters talking like npcs delivering do good greeting card messages one after another.

- ted's marriage plotline was dogshit 👍 just yaaaaaaawns all round idk. rewatching scenes from season 1 and bein like? this dude used to make me chuckle! what happened..... thank god they didn't fumble the bag on sending him back to kansas to be with henry. [henry having the same strip number as jamie was a nice touch]. i just wonder that if this season had some more jamie ted scenes [that weren't him telling jamie to forgive his father 😐] that it might have strengthened that ache to get back to his son even more, as opposed to reopening a perfectly concluded plotline with michelle because oh no....she's... dating?

- naaaaaaaate. my guy nate waaaaaaahh. they sidelined you so fucking hard. did not know what to make of nate's plot this season with jade. i think they had sweet scenes together but concerning the actual footie of the show [the football show in question] they made nate a fucking afterthought too. some episodes it was like and uhhhh... yeah... quickly !! show the west ham building and get a reaction shot from nate!! we forgot we set him up at the end of season 2 as an antagonistic force for richmond to go against. like come onnn man. think that international break was nate's strongest episode outta the whole season, what with his depression slump, attic rummaging, family photo album reminiscing, violin playing, father reconciliation, will apology with lavender, just a really solid nate episode all round. its just sad it came so late in the season.

yeah that's the main thoughts spinning right now i guess lol. BOSH.

[hopeaterart]

Oh. Whoops. Sorry ^^;

Let’s see, uh…April and Casey?

April

Has an Intrepid Reporter streak, and repeatdly puts herself in danger to get to a 'scoop' despite knowing full well that she's not a good fighter. Seriously, the only thing stopping her from being a borderline paparazzi are her ethics (and Lotus).

Often fails to communicate with people. Her not simply asking her dad if she's a drawing brought to life comes to mind, but there's other instances (ex: the whole Love Triangle To Polyamory thing)

Once woke in in the attic of a house she didn't remember coming in, in which people that essentially kidnapped her brought her lived in, and her biggest worry was that her essentially kidnappers were green and bald. She then proceeded to hide in their house for a month with no further question.

Casey

His soxial anxiety fucks him up so bad. He's constantly afraid that fucking something up will result in everyone hating him. It's actually kind of sad, but still counts.

Him having a vigilante persona when out beating gangsters can be excused, and is actually kind of smart! Harder to identify him. The way he fully indulges in the fantasy of being a vigilante, less so.

Also once got kidnapped by tiny green bald people and was more concerned about them being green and bald than being kidnapped. Unlike April, he then proceeded to convince them to help him beat up his boss.

Also has communication issues (entirety of the Love Triangle To Polyamory thing can be reffered to here.)

Honorary mention: joined a gang. He and his family are very poor and he was trying to make money quickly, so it'll be excused.

[yikesharringrove]

I don’t think the duffers know what their fans like/want 🤦‍♀️ like at all?? They gave us one and a half canon gay main characters (robin & will), Vickie got no screen time with Robin, and Will didn’t come out to Jonathan or his bff Mike. They shoved Eddie down our throats on social media and made him a fan fav for most, but then killed him off. Also the whole Nancy love triangle with Jonathan and Steve was such a bad look for Nancy. Like crawl forward Steve!!!

Those are just some of the stuff I can think of in my sleep deprived state, but just so many things I feel fans wanted to see and didn’t happen. The only fan service this season was seeing Steve’s chest hair.

Honestly I think the dear billy speech was for people that gave a fuck about billy, and the other one was for the antis. They tried to please everyone and in doing so they cross-canceled each other. Like that speech abt how max used to want him to die LITERALLY makes everything she said at his grave completely moot.

I also really think that Dustin talking to Wayne at the end was meant to be a little nod to the people that gave a fuck about billy but his death was so fucking stupid and shoehorned in that it’s like. Bro.

The highs of this season were will sobbing in the van and Lucas clutching Max’s body in the attic like.

I’m SO GLAD they didn’t fully commit to Steve/Nancy but having said that, why even trade it in the fucking first place?

Having robin see Vickie with a boyfriend felt super weird too, like, robin is NOT thinking abt her crush rn they’re buying weapons to fight Vecna. That felt pointless.

I really think will should’ve come out to Jonathan. I love that they are CLEARLY going for gay will, there’s no possible other place they could go after all that, but having him come out to Jonathan would’ve been really powerful, I think.

And don’t even get me started on the worlds most pathetic death they gave eddie. DONT INTRODUCE CHARACTERS JUST TO KILL THEM

[crazy-hand-official]

so

for years @master-hand-official and I have been writing a story together. we started it maybe in high school (or perhaps early college, I forget). it has spanned maybe 10 or so story arcs, and has been included in tons of word documents, power points, excel sheets(!), and gorgeous art that has been featured in art shows. it has gotten us both through incredibly tough times in our lives and allowed our creativity and skills to grow and flourish in ways we couldn’t have possibly imagined. this story has gone on, back and forth, for years. It means so much to us and is a source of brilliant nostalgia and friendship.

for posterity, we have archived everything including our notes. right now, we are in the process of organizing it all together in a document that makes sense. going through it has been so much fun. it has a lot of bizarre, sometimes completely non-sequitur humor that gives it its shine. That’s one of the things we really adore about it.

so without further ado... here are my favorite out-of-context quotes from the stories. im not done going through them quite yet so I might reblog this with a few more:

“the grandpa lives in the attic of the house, next to a plant and a trash bag.”

“‘I want scrims for supper.’ says the grandpa’.”

“Adam walks in, he explains [the horrible wheezing sound is] his robotic life partner and sexbot.”

“Frankie says ‘guise, guise, I need, I want, some of them CASHEWS! Y’all got cashews? That I can have?’”

“Adam turns his neck around 180 degrees to watch over Mohammad.”

“Roman went next. He was hamming it up and sang his rap — it went ‘GUNS IN MY HANDS, ANTS IN MY PANTS, RUBBER BANDS.’”

“She launched to kick at them but as she did so she farted loud enough for everyone to hear. She tried to cover it up by making noise but everyone knew.”

“The stepdaughter penguin honked.”

“No one was listening to him so he made a ruckus and yelled ‘HEY. EVERYONE SHUT UP AND LISTEN. ~Shawty’s like a melody in my head...’~”

“He looked like Plastic Man in that one meme where he’s eating powder that makes you say Yes.”

“He lit a small fire in the middle of the room using sticks and leaves. ‘Now, okay, normally I’d do this with some ants or a rat or something, but I don’t have any of those on hand right now. So just pretend there’s a rat or some ants in there. Can you just imagine them burning up in the flames?’”

“And so the two gays embarked on a journey to the shoe store, where John picked out some purple leather shoes for Seb so that he didn’t have to look like some mushroom fuck freak.”

“He started dancing to some music that was only playing in his own head (it was a live Gary Numan album from his 1980 tour).”

“Officer Nasty was just spinning in circles.”

“‘It’s 12 PM. That means it’s showtime for my friends, the Enema Tronics. Hit it, boys.’”

“‘My ear reminds me of my son Adam. He’s under my skin right now, talking in my ear. Oh god, he moved! There’s two Adams in my scrotum, I have to get them out!’”

“‘My son, in the future, named Adam, my future son named Adam, he has this triangle of skin too!! But see how mine is flabby? His is going to be bony. He is going to have a bony, chiseled neck triangle. See, I don’t have enough collagen, so my skin is flabby. But he is going to have too much collagen! So his skin will be taut like a drum!’”

“‘I AM HAVING AN OUT-OF-BOBBY EXPERIENCE!’”

“Everyone went [to the local Waffle House] and took up this very long booth and all sat on one side of the table, like in Costagno’s Last Supper, with Jared being the only one on the other side, like Judas.”

“He wore a whole bondage getup with chains and all. He looked like the ghost of Christmas past.”

“‘John bought the New York Dolls as if they were a basketball team and gave them to me as a gift for my birthday and now I need your help getting rid of them!’”

“RJ throws a shoe at Roddie’s head like the Iraqi journalist did at George W. Bush and he dodges it and runs at him like a super bowl and throws him in a dumpster...”

“Bea dumped his ass and started dating a handsome astronaut named Billy Joel Armstrong.”

“...he then takes out a tape recorder and says into it ‘...The Smiths are my new Aerosmith.’”

ok thats it for now

[eddieeatsass]

I read The Key To Pleasure and fucking loved it dude. Could you do some stenbrough with top Bill and bottom Stan? Maybe using toys or something along those lines, maybe in front of the losers or where they can hear.. I’m giving you creative control lmao. I love your writing!

Thank you so much for this prompt! It was so fun, and I love Stenbrough and really don’t write enough of them, so thanks for giving me a less popular ship to work with. :’)Read on AO3 or below

It was the end of autumn and the Losers had been en route to their shared cabin all day. It was a few hours drive outside their hometown, so they’d taken two cars as to not drive themselves crazy by packing together like sardines.

They’d arrived half an hour ago, and had coupled up to head off and claim their rooms. Stan and Bill had chosen the room on the top floor; a cozy attic conversion with an abundance of bedding and not much else. The ceilings were slanted into a triangle, shaping the roof outside, and at the back of the room was a large window that led out to a small balcony, merely large enough for one individual to stand on.

It was quaint, exactly the kind of atmosphere Bill and Stan were looking for on their mini vacation. Of course, their excitement was only amplified by the fact that their best friends were sharing the weekend with them.

When they’d proposed the idea, they weren’t sure how the others would react. Bill had explained their plans for the trip, and had left the offer open for the losers to tag along, but they’d never done anything like this before so there was hesitancy on how everyone would respond.

Luckily, their friends had grown to be very sex-positive (and comparably kinky) individuals, so they were eager to join in on Bill and Stan’s little exhibitionist tryst.

But regardless of everyone’s eager response, Stan still felt his gut clench at the idea of an entire weekend at the mercy of Bill, while their friends were free to watch on as they liked. It was new, and it nudged at a place of vulnerability that Stan hadn’t felt in a long time, but it also created an unfathomable amount of arousal to pump through his system. It made him dizzy every time he thought about it for too long, thought about all of the things Bill could do to him, and how Stan would be on full display the entire time.

 As Stan was lost in thought, Bill began unpacking some of their things. He bypassed their clothing and toiletries, navigating instead towards some of the more fun items he’d brought along.

He pulled out a bottle of lube, along with a silk pink ribbon and one of the glass dildos from their collection. Stan was already shivering at the sight.

“We’re starting right away?” Stan asked timidly, uncrossing and then recrossing his legs in a nervous gesture.

“Only if you’re ready.” Bill answered, his voice soft and gentle, insistent on not making Stan feel pressured one way or another.

Stan nodded at him, and as a second gesture of consent, began shedding his clothes.

“You know we can stop at any point.” Bill ensured. “If it becomes too much for you-”

“I know.” Stan cut him off, smiling reassuringly. “The safeword is blue jay.”

Bill crossed the room swiftly, closing the distance between them with a fiery kiss that knocked Stan back into the mattress. They laughed into each other’s mouths, continuing the kiss with a little less passionate but the same amount of love. Now, Stan felt ready.

“Alright… do your worst, Denbrough.” Stan challenged cockily.

“Oh ho ho, you’re gonna regret saying that, Stanny.”

 In a flash, Bill wrapped his arms around Stan’s thin frame and flipped him on his belly, exposing his bare ass to the firm slap that Bill delivered. Stan’s face split into a grin, his body reacting to the action as if it had been trained to. He lifted his hips up off the bed and swiveled his ass in the air. The action revealed the bejeweled butt plug that was nested deep inside him, keeping him at the ready for whenever Bill wanted to take him. Stan lifted his hips even higher, silently begging for another slap, but it never came.

Instead, Bill shifted his weight and reached for Stan's extended arms, easily bringing them together at the wrists and beginning to wrap them with the ribbon. It was a soft, soothing sensation, a juxtaposition to the excitement thrumming through his veins. Once he was securely tied up, and Bill had tested the security of his bondage, his body heat disappeared from the bed for a moment.

The dip in the bed alerting Stan to Bill's return was accompanied by the cold press of glass against the bottom of his spine. It lit up his insides like fire.

Bill had picked up the glass dildo and was slowly teasing it up the bumps of Stan’s spine, spreading shivers across his shoulder blades and shooting down his arms into his fingertips.

“Bill… Don’t tease.” Stan pleaded, knowing it was to no avail. Bill was going to do what he was going to do, and Stan’s whining wouldn’t change it.

“Oh, eager, are we Birdie?” Bill teased, dragging the glass object back down towards where Stan wanted it most.

Stan muffled an impatient sound into the bedding, letting his body relax into it as he surrendered to Bill’s ministrations.

 It took another few tormenting minutes for Bill to be done with his torture, and to finally grab the lube that he’d set on the bedside table. He set the dildo next to Stan’s face purposefully, giving Stan the time to observe the size of the object that was about to be inserted into him. His hole fluttered in response, winking up at Bill’s watchful gaze. When Bill caught sight of it, his hands started moving double time.

Stan felt the stretch of muscle as Bill removed the butt plug, followed immediately by the distinct chill of lube against his hole. It dripped down his perineum, getting dangerously close to tainting their sheets, before Bill swooped in with a single finger and scooped it all up and into his loose hole. He was already stretched open, having been worked apart this morning and then plugged up on their ride down, but the intrusion still made him jump.

Stan spread his legs instinctively, giving Bill more room to kneel on the bed behind him and venture farther into him. Stan’s dick strained against the mattress beneath him, trapped in a constant push and pull of friction as Bill’s fingers worked in and out and in and out and in and out.

Bill kept his rhythm throughout his addition of fingers, until eventually he was able to fit four digits into Stan’s body with ease; just big enough to fit the dildo he’d chosen.

The object in question was beautiful. It was made of clear glass with accents of blue swirled within it. At the top was a slight flare to imitate the appearance (and feel) of the head of a cock, and there was a smooth curve to the entire thing. Bill had gotten it custom made for their one year anniversary from a college friend of his who was taking a glass blowing course. Apparently, the whole ordeal had nearly gotten her kicked out of the class for using the studio for ‘personal use’, so Bill and Stan really cherished the toy.

Bill retrieved the dildo from next to Stan, pulling his gaze along with it as he prepped it with a generous coating of lube.

 The first push of the dildo against Stan’s ring of nerves had him already quivering, aching for more. It slid in relatively easily, the sleek glass making for a gentle slide.

Stan let out a long, low moan as the toy bottomed out inside him, its flared head nestling right up against his prostate. He felt impossibly full, the density of the object only adding to the sensation.

Bill left the toy burrowed deep inside Stan as he moved up his partner’s body, trailing slow kisses up his back before settling at his ear.

“You look so beautiful like th-th-this.” Bill whispered, his stutter coming back as arousal clouded his mind. Stan loved Bill’s stutter, loved the moments when it slipped back out and reminded him of the old days.

Bill was blanketed over Stan’s form, his pelvis level with Stan’s ass. If Bill were nude, it would be the perfect position for Bill to take Stan apart completely, but this wasn’t about that. Right now, the focus was on Stan, and Bill’s control over him.

And Bill knew the control he had. He rested his hips up against Stan’s lower back and bucked up experimentally, pushing the dildo farther into Stan with his movement.

Stan gasped, squeezing his eyes shut as his jaw tightened with the effort not to cum on the spot. Bill repeated his action, apparently happy with the response it had gotten the first time. Stan forced himself to relax, focus on his breathing and come back from the edge, but every cant of Bill’s hips drew another strangled moan out of his throat.

Eventually they fell into a steady rhythm; Bill humping into Stan and kissing down his neck while Stan mewled wantonly below him.

Stan could feel the pressure building at the base of his spine, that tingle that indicated he wouldn’t be able to hold out for much longer.

“Hnngg- Bill- Bill I’m getting close-” Stan tried to stutter out, gasping when Bill hit his prostate straight on.

“I love being the one to make you stutter.” Bill purred, his voice floating through the haze in Stan’s mind.

 “Damn that’s smooth.” A familiar voice carried from the other side of their door, followed by the sound of a slap, an angry whisper, and then a clutter as the door flung wide open and in fell two wide eyed Losers.

Stan tried to hold back his orgasm, he really did, but it had already started by the time Richie and Beverly were staring straight at him, and he couldn't stop the waves as they crested.

“Ahhhh- fuck.” Stan whispered into the dead silence of the room, grasping the sheets in an iron grip and letting his head fall so he didn’t have to watch the look on his friends’ faces as he came. His shoulders tensed up, mapping out the muscles in his back in a ripple effect that had Bill chuckling darkly from above him.

His release left as quickly as it had come, but it was one of the strongest he’d ever felt, leaving Stan too dizzy to look up quite yet. Instead, he stayed stalk still, focusing on evening out his breathing.

He felt Bill shift off of him and his fingers twitched in an effort to reach for his partner, but again, his body hadn't quite caught up with him yet. Luckily, Bill knew him like he knew the back of his hand, and said hand instinctively began rubbing small circles into Stan’s back. He sighed contentedly, almost instantly forgetting that two of his friends were still in the room.

But of course Richie wouldn’t stand to be forgotten.

“Shit Staniel, I've never seen you make that face before!”

“Richie! Shut up!” Beverly hushed warningly.

Bill just chuckled, a deep noise that shook the bed a little and warmed Stan from the inside out.

“It’s alright, there's no secrets here. Right Stanny?”

Bill had moved from Stan’s back to his head, massaging his fingers into Stan’s messy curls.

“Mmmmm.” Stan hummed, hoping it was response enough.

Luckily, no one prodded for more.

“Well, we originally came up here to tell you two that dinner is ready, but then trashmouth was overpowered by his dick.”

“I was not! I was just curious!” Richie defended, his face lighting up bright pink.

“Yeah yeah, come on dumbass.” Beverly grabbed Richie by the collar of his shirt and pulled him up along with her then back out the door, shutting it behind them.

 Stan waited a few beats before peeking out between his curtain of curls, surveying the room to see it empty. He finally allowed himself to flop over on to his back, cringing at the mess that was now smeared across his stomach and their sheets. He looked up to Bill, who was eyeing him with a playful smirk.

In tandem they both peeled into laughter, Stan teetering off a little abruptly when he felt the toy shifting around inside him. With a stark reminder of the position he was still in, Stan awkwardly brought his bound hands down between his legs and pulled the toy from himself. He laid it beside him, long having given up on keeping their bedding clean.

"So how was your first venture into exhibitionism?" Bill teased, reaching over to untie Stan's wrists.

"Interesting, to say the least." Stan smiled back. As soon as he was free, he threw his arms around Bill's shoulders and pulled him down on top of himself, using the close quarters to lock their lips together.

Despite them both smiling too much to properly kiss, they still did their best, parting only when Bill noticed that his flannel had fallen victim to their mess.

“I'd say a shower is warranted before we go down for dinner." Stan commented, and then adding as a last thought. "And maybe a round of laundry too."

Bill stared down in absolute admiration of the boy he'd gotten to fall in love with.

"I'll follow your lead. We both know I'm only in charge in the bedroom." He joked, earning a light slap to the arm and more laughter.

 They spent the rest of the evening cleaning themselves and their room up. Once they finally made it down for dinner, their spaghetti was cold and sitting abandoned at the dinner table. They could hear the rest of their friends chattering in the living room down the hall, and Bill and Stan both felt completely at peace as they sat down and began eating, their free hands clasped together atop the table.

[sandwichbully]

The Wedge Table (yes, again), 10 November 2018

   One time, Soft Kathryn called me Pasta Boi, a title I cannot deny, as I am, indeed, a pasta boi. Used to be I was a Pasta Slut but the word slut has been contentious for a while and only lately it’s starting to be OK to self-identify as a slut for certain things, like you’re a Train Slut if you fuck with some Amtrak or a Cathedral Slut if you’re down with the Vatican. I don’t know, I say fuck it, play it safe, don’t piss off the SJWs; Soft Kathryn calls me a Pasta Boi, I’m a Pasta Boi.    Everybody on board with that? Anybody feel like calling me out for some shit? I’m a Pasta Boi, goddamnit. What problems could you possibly have with the Pasta Boi?    ANYhoo, seeing as how I am - Wait. Am I a pasta boi or the pasta boi?    We’ll figure that out later. Look, I was out of pasta and it’s 19° Fahrenheit (that’s -7° Celsius for my metric fanbase) and I figured that was a good enough excuse to go back to the Wedge and get that last sandwich.    The tuna melt.

   Goddamn, that is a blurry-assed photo.    Anyway, I know I could’ve picked up a box of spaghetti from Hark’s across the street or even just gone down to the CVS for a box of spaghetti, but it was lunch time and neither of those places have a full-service deli with a limited line of seasonal signature sandwiches. And!? This is tuna melt weather.    So I go in there and this time I’m greeted by a bespectacled young woman and I tell her I just need a tuna melt to go, she says sure, hands me my ticket, and I go off to get lost in the (two) racks of food trying to find pasta because, while I am a pasta boi, I’m not seeing the pasta I’m used to: The red and white boxes of Essential Everyday, the green boxes of Creamette, the blue boxes of Buy Any Other Brand But This Homophobic Shit; I’m having that classist crisis again, feeling out of my element, too working class and dumb to figure out how to navigate a co-op, here he is, everybody! Charlie from the Trailer Park! Can’t find his way through the tiniest co-op and doesn’t listen to Vampire Weekend!    And then I nut up because, yeah, motherfucker, I am Charlie from Southeast Toledo and guess what: I like Black Sabbath, suck my dick. Where the fuck is the - Oh, here it is.    It comes in... bags? Why the fuck - I thought these motherfuckers were supposed to be earth friendly, why is the pasta in plastic bags instead of recyclable cardboard boxes? What the fuck sense does this make?    I pick up the pack of spaghetti and I look on the back. Under directions, it says to bring 5oz (150mL and I did that conversion, you’re welcome) to a boil and add 16oz (455g, again, I’m doing the heavy lifting) of pasta and I mutter, “What kind of maniac cooks a whole pack of pasta in one go?”    Hell, even as one of a family of four, I don’t think I ever saw my mom cook a whole box of pasta in one go. I mean, maybe she did, it would make sense, there’s fucking four of us but does this manufacturer assume... I mean, who the fuck cooks a whole thing of pasta in one go? Jesus Jehosaphat. Maniacs. Absolute maniacs.    So I got the fusili since I’ll be making a simple tomato and garlic sauce tonight that will love those little nooks and crannies to cling to.    Yes, I have studied up on pairing my pastas and my sauces because I am a pasta boi, outed and confirmed.    Then I grab a blood orange Hi-Ball and go over to the register and some old fart is just standing there with his back to it, not getting the point that I’m trying to get in line, thus a woman just walks around him up to the register and he looks at her and looks at me and looks annoyed - don’t give me that look, motherfucker, I have Aerosmith on vinyl, good Aerosmith, drugged up Aerosmith, I will knock you out in the parking lot.    Anyway, nobody’s paying attention to the woman at the register and a line is forming and then one of the guys from the deli says he can get me on the other register and I turn to follow him but then my name is called and I grab my sandwich and I get rung up and I get outside, and I load my bag and I come home.

You and me, we’ve been on an adventure together, haven’t we? A real emotional roller coaster? We've had to deal with inwardly-directed class shame as manufactured by capitalism; we’ve talked about putting our money in the right places, like not certain pasta brands that come in blue boxes; we’ve discussed identity issues as prescribed by a person who identifies herself as an oven but uses she/her pronouns. We have been all over the map so far and I’m sure all you’ve wanted this whole time was to know how the fucking sandwich tasted. You want to know if you should give your money to these people. You want to know how tough of a call it is between Get Your Wings and Toys In The Attic because even though the track listing on Toys... has the obvious bangers, ... Wings has some definite sleeper agents that will fuck you up.    For your patience, for your companionship on this journey, mon frer, I will now answer all these questions.

   Holy shit, this is the best thing I’ve put in my mouth this week.    Now, I didn’t look at the menu too close so, disclaimer, up front, I don’t know what kind of cheese they used. Swiss would be the obvious choice but I looked at the cheese itself and the holes were tinier and not round. I’m guessing, and I’d be surprised if I were wrong, this is havarti. It didn’t have the high-pitched notes of Swiss, either, which would have definitely stood out because, here’s the deal:    You could taste everything individually on the sandwich.    The tuna salad was creamy and I’m guessing they used an organic mayo because of course they would use organic and 1) this didn’t taste like Hellman’s and I’m a slut for Hellman’s so I would know, 2) this didn’t taste like Kraft, and 3) it didn’t taste like aioli because I detected no hint of extra virgin olive oil. Thus, organic mayo is my guess and it played nicely with the tuna, probably because the mayo to tuna ratio greatly favored the fish, so while I could detect the presence of mayo, what I was tasting primarily in that concoction was the tuna.    Appearance-wise, the tuna salad looked like exactly every other tuna salad you’ve ever had: Somebody opened a can, emptied it into a bowl, threw in a dollop of mayo, and beat the shit out of it with a fork until it stopped looking like it was once a thing of flesh and now just shreds of unidentifiable protein. I get it: There aren’t that many ways to make tuna salad, so I’m not going to dock points for the look of the thing.    The aforementioned maybe-havarti was smooth and creamy, which is how havarti ought to taste. I thought it could have stood to be a bit more melty, this is a tuna melt after all, and despite my visual inspection and my self-assuredness that this is havarti, the doubt still lingers because while it didn’t taste like Swiss, it didn’t melt like havarti, and we all know that Swiss is a bit obstinate when it comes to melting. It will do it but it takes a bit more cajoling than your softer cheeses like your jacks, your colbies, and, of course, your havartis. Again, probably not Swiss, but there will always be the doubt in my mind.    Fuck it. I just looked at the menu. The answer we were looking for was gruyere. Gruyere. Just proving to you, once again, that I am capable of being wrong. I am human and I am just like you.    So, yeah, the gruyere was good, even if I didn’t know until just now that’s what it was. It was smooth and creamy, just like havarti. But the important part is that I could taste it separately from and in concert with the other ingredients (even if I couldn’t identify what kind of cheese it was).    But the real child star of this made-for-TV adaptation of a beloved series of child detective novels grown up to appear ironically on the convention circuit and still say their cutesy catch phrase thirty years later before snapping and mowing down a gaggle of parents with a hedge trimmer at a Chuck E. Cheese would be the pickled onions, sharp and sour at the same time, balancing out the low creaminess of the tuna salad and the cheese and the midrange of the whole grain bread with high notes in brassy timbres, maybe even acrylic timbres would be more fitting, like Ornette Coleman’s saxophone. It provided what other tuna melts are missing: A full spectrum of notes. This tuna melt was like the Italians at Broder’s and Kramarczuk’s and the Reubens at Colossal Cafe and Tiny Diner: It was perfectly balanced, minimally fucked with.    And I know you’re probably rolling your eyes at me raving about a tuna melt and comparing it to some of the best sandwiches in the city but it’s like this: The reason you (and even me) think tuna melts suck is because all we’ve ever been handed is shitty tuna melts. The most creative we’ve ever gotten with them is using Swiss instead of American. Maybe we tried fancifying it by adding capers or putting tarragon in the tuna salad and it just didn’t happen right. And then we’ve walked into the greasy spoon and we see the tuna melt on the menu and we wonder how fresh is that tuna salad and we skip it and if we do order it (with every nervous caution in the world), what we get is a grilled cheese with tuna salad in it. We’ve had nothing but shitty tuna melts our whole lives so it never occurred to us that if we just treated them differently, if we just treated them like they could be good, if we just took a step back and considered the core components and asked what was too much and what was missing and saw this was meant to be different from a grilled cheese with tuna salad in it, we could have a good one.    There’s a reason that this sandwich has its own name and isn’t just “grilled cheese with tuna salad” and it’s the same reason we don’t call a Reuben a “corned beef and sauerkraut” or an Italian a “three meat and banana peppers” or a Club “turkey BLT triangles”. It’s a distinct and established entity and, unfortunately, people have stopped treating it like one and instead started treating it like a grilled cheese with tuna salad in it.    Not saying the Wedgetable has brought back the sandwich like it’s the fucking messiah, I’m saying that they’ve treated it right. They’ve done right by it. It was a damned good sandwich and I don’t regret paying the eight bucks for it. And what it lacks in size, it more than makes up for in flavor. You can taste everything individually and everything compliments everything else. It’s worth at least one visit in the Wedgetable’s direction, I would encourage you to give them your money.    Also, this is, I believe, our first tag for “tuna melt”.    Oh and Toys In The Attack has for sure three radio hits but Get Your Wings has “Lord of the Thighs” which is just a thousand percent of your daily recommended dose of raunch, nast, and sweat pressed into wax, so that’s a winner.

[ao3feed-brucewayne]

Tim and Duke vs. The Illuminati

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/6130hHP by jupiterliketheplanet “Were… were your parents part of any secret organizations that you know of?” This got Tim’s attention. To be completely honest, there was probably a whole list of things he didn’t know about his parents. They were gone the majority of the year while they were still alive, and they weren’t exactly running to tell him about everything they were doing abroad in the short periods that they actually were back in Gotham. “What do you mean?” Duke had a confused look on his face and slid over the envelope he was holding. When Tim picked it up, he immediately noticed a familiar symbol stamped onto the front. A symbol that he had never expected to find on a Tuesday afternoon in his parent's attic. A symbol that, up until that moment, he wasn’t sure was actually real. The fucking Illuminati triangle was staring back at him. Tim slowly lifted his head to look at Duke, a perplexed look on his face. “Holy shit.” “Holy shit.” Duke agreed. (or; Tim joins the Illuminati just to prove that it's real) Words: 6237, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: DCU, DCU (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: Gen Characters: Duke Thomas, Tim Drake, Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Stephanie Brown Relationships: Tim Drake & Duke Thomas Additional Tags: Chaotic Tim Drake, Chaotic Duke Thomas, Feral Tim Drake, Duke Thomas Being a Little Shit, Tim Drake Being a Little Shit (DCU), The illuminati - Freeform, tim drake is a moron, and joins the illuminati, just to prove that it's real, duke encourages him, Bruce Wayne is So Done, Crack, Comedy, Batfamily (DCU), Batfamily Shenanigans (DCU) read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/6130hHP

[fox-bright]

#that is glorious!! #I wish I could get into quilting #unfortunately I lack the funds and the patience

This one was actually a really easy quilt to make! It only took me so long because I had so much else going on (I perform as a Chinese lion dancer in the local show of The Nutcracker, I got married a couple of weeks ago, et cetera). This quilt is entirely made of triangles, called "hst" or half-square triangles, sewn together along their long end. You can produce these blocks in a handful of different ways; I did two-at-a-time but you can do them as singles or even four at a time, depending on the seams you make. They're very, very simple to produce.

The thing about an hst block quilt is that it's like a kaleidoscope; the way you turn the squares changes how it looks entirely.

Examples, taken from various quilted blogs (each of the squares in these quilts is half patterned, half white, where mine in the first photo above were half black and half a bright color):

(photos from auntiemscrafts.com, annemariechany.com , and jaimecostiglio.com .)

Here's a link to a bunch of other hst blocks, too: https://coffeeandmaking.co.uk/2019/06/21/half-square-triangles-the-most-versatile-quilt-block/

So these definitely let you quilt on easy mode! You can work up something that looks really complicated just by turning the pieces around.

Patience...well, it depends on which direction. If it's "I don't have the patience to wait for a quilt to be done, it takes foreeeeverrrrr," that's valid--quilts like this one work up relatively quite fast, so it might be a good place to start. If it's "I don't have the patience to sit at the sewing machine for ten hours in a row," the fun thing about ones like this is you can work up a block or two at a time and then leave it alone for however long you feel like, and the piece as a whole won't suffer.

I totally sympathize on the money, though. I'll stick two more photo in here--this is the first quilt I ever did on my own, a decade ago:

Sorry that they're not really quilt photos so much as "look how fucking clean my room is" photos, and that they are potato-quality, I didn't have a smartphone back then. But they give you an idea, more or less. I made that quilt out of squares I cut from precuts called "fat quarters, which are 18x21 inch pieces of fabric you can get for a buck or two. They go on sale periodically at JoAnn Fabrics for a dollar or so, these days I think they're usually about 2.50 a piece.

I got the filling, called "batting," on 75% off sale for about five dollars. Sales that steep will usually be cheaper, but I wanted the extra-extra thick stuff because that attic, there? Not really insulated. Most of the furniture in that room was scavenged from the street on Big Trash nights, the books were mostly library discards...you get the idea of how I was living, then.

And then I backed it with a pair of dollar-store fleecy blankets, but there are a lot of ways to make a cheap backing.

Basically I took six months of one-dollar and two-dollar purchases here and there, and when I had enough for the size I needed, I cut them into the right sizes and stitched them all together. There are a LOT of flaws in this quilt--and I ended up pulling the quilt sandwich apart and redoing it, this year, quilting it instead of ribbon-tying it, putting a new backing on, but before I had to do that, I slept under it for nine years! It's been washed dozens of times, and even with the cheapest possible fabric it kept me warm in cold times.

It makes me...how to phrase it.

@seththemusehub 's concerns are valid and 100% understandable. Quilting has in the last few decades become the pastime of women who are wealthy in leisure and funding, who make hand-dyed, exquisitely pieced, longarm quilted works of art that end up on magazine covers and maybe sold for a couple of thousand dollars. And that *is* quilting, and I won't talk shit about them, but the thing is that that is not all that quilting is. It's not what quilting was MADE FOR, any more than Michaelangelo was a house painter.

The art form started with women taking clothing that couldn't be mended anymore, and saving aside the pieces they could clip that still didn't have holes, and still weren't thin enough to see through, and then sewing those pieces together in pleasing fashions to make something that would keep their children warm.

Quilting was FOR people with next-to-no money, people with next-to-no time in the day, people who would sit around by the light of the lamp and work on the thing little by little. People who would get together with all the other women of the neighborhood and set up one quilt after another on a frame so that everyone's year's worth of work could be quilted or tied one after another, and everyone would go home with a quilt her friends and relatives had helped her finish.

I feel pretty passionate about this, I have to admit. But there's just something so tremendously human about taking scraps of pretty things and making them into something that is not only lovely, but that you can crawl into on a cold day, or when you're sick, or when you're just so tired and achy, and feel around you like an embrace.

And I absolutely hate the idea that our curse of Having No Money should mean we're denied this human thing that was made for us. If you want to do it, you can do it. I'd be VERY glad to go into ridiculous depth about how to source bits and scraps, what to look for, what to do. You--whoever you are, reading this--deserve to have this thing, if this is a thing that you want.

Now all that's left on this baby blanket is the binding! Finally.

[agoodflyting]

Ghost Story

I’m not entirely sure if this is going anywhere, but here’s a small, spooky, halloween ghost story with Ben, Hux, Techie, and Matt.

“Ben- Ben, wake up. Wake up, wake up-”

“Oh my god, fuck off,” Ben groans, his voice full of gravel. He turns over, pulling the comforter up over his mess of unruly dark hair.

“Get up, get up please- please-” his little brother whispers urgently, throwing glances back over his shoulder like he’s afraid of being overheard.

“Go back to bed, Matt. It’s like midnight.”

“Ben, please just get up, please.”

“Why? What do you want?”

“There’s somebody in my room.”

The click of the light switch is audible in the still quiet of the house. Light from the overhead bulb glares off of the bare off-white walls and piles of cardboard boxes stacked up in corners. The floor is old hardwood, worn soft by generations of feet. More boxes are stacked on top of the dresser, the words ‘Matty’s Stuff’ and ‘Matty’s Clothes’ written on them neatly in sharpie. One of the boxes on the dresser has been opened and tipped over, spilling a river of half-folded t-shirts and pajamas out across the floor.

In one corner there’s a twin bed, unmade. The wash-worn Spiderman sheets are rumpled and half torn off the mattress. Across the room, beside the dresser, a pillows lies crumpled against the floorboard, like it had been thrown Aside from that, the room is empty.

“See? There’s nobody here.”

Even dressed in just a wrinkled t-shirt and boxers, Ben still fills most of the doorway, all long legs and sleep-rumpled hair. He had been tall with big shoulders since he was fourteen. Mom said he got it from their granddad. Matt hoped so. At their old house, he’d measured himself against the doorframe in the bathroom every week.

“He’s in the closet,” Matt whispers, half hidden behind the solid figure of his brother. “I threw the pillow at him and he ran in the closet.”

Ben half-groans, half-sighs again, but he allows himself to be steered by little-kid hands digging into the small of his back. His bare feet slap against the cold hardwood floor. “Matt, if this is a joke I swear to god I’m going to murder you and bury you in the backyard...”

“It’s not a joke, he’s really in there.” There’s a shrill edge of panic in the nine-year-old’s voice. He sounds close to tears. “I woke up and he was going through my stuff. You’ve got to make him leave.”

“Alright, alright, alright...” Ben rolls his eyes.

The closet door folds back like an accordion, admitting dingy shadows into the dark space beyond. Ben fumbles for the string overhead and tugs it. He can feel his little brother’s sweaty hands fisting in the fabric of his t-shirt. The closet light comes on with a click.

On the floor of the wide, narrow closet there’s another pile of boxes, labeled in the same efficient handwriting as the ones in the bedroom. Above, a trio of sad wire hangers rock slowly back and forth on the bar.

Ben sticks his head in the closet, looking left and right, then up. There’s a hatch to the attic recessed into the ceiling and an old spiderweb in the corner. That’s it.

“See? There’s nothing here, Matty. Go back to bed.”

“Don’t call me Matty, that’s a baby name. And he was right there, I saw him- he had long hair and he was going through my stuff-”

“Matt-”

Matt takes a heaving breath, his hands fisting, the way he does when he’s working himself up into a tantrum and needs to be redirected. That was what his therapist called it. “No, he was! He must have gone up into the attic, or-”

“Or maybe you had a bad dream.” Ben interrupts, voice hard. “It’s just the moving, okay? It’s always freaky the first night in a new house. You know that. Now go back to bed before mom wakes up.”

“It wasn’t a bad dream and it’s not the house-”

Matt’s skinny shoulders heave as he sucks in an angry breath, pushing back the ever-ready threat of tears.

Ben ignores him,  plucking the discarded pillow off the floor and tossing it onto the bed. “Come on, get in bed.” When Matt doesn’t move, he repeats, “Come on. I’ll leave the door open and if closet guy comes back just- I don’t know, scream or something and I’ll come kick his ass with my katana.”

“Your katana isn’t even sharp,” Matt says, in a small voice, but he climbs under the blankets anyway. Ben pulls them up over him.

“It is too. Remember when I cut that apple right in half in the backyard? At the house in Roslindale?”

“Leave it on!” Matt yelps as Ben goes to pull the string for the closet light. With the blankets pulled up to his chin all that’s visible is a mop of dirty blond curls and a pair of overlarge glasses that made him look like an owl. Mom had said he needed a pair he could grow into.

“Alright, fine, don’t freak out. Hey don’t sleep in your glasses-” Ben adds. “You’re gonna break them again.”

Matt clings to the blankets tighter like he’s afraid they’re going to be taken from him too. “But I want to be able to see. If he comes back.”

Ben gives up. “Alright, whatever. When mom yells at you I get to say I told you so.”

“...’night, Ben,” Matt says in a small voice as his brother pads to the door.

“Goodnight, Matt.” Ben says without turning around.

When the bedroom light is switched off and his brother’s footsteps have receded down the hall, Matt lies awake in his bed. Outside, crickets are chirping quietly. The closet light casts a triangle of shadow on the bedroom floor.

He keeps his eyes fixed on the closet.

There had been someone there. Matt was going to be ready when he came back. After a minute he shuffles back up the bed, grabbing a pillow from behind his head and clutching it to his chest like a weapon.

He waits.

Outside, a car rumbles quietly down the street in front of the house.  

Matt hates moving. Ben was wrong about the boy in the closet, but he was right about the first night in a new house being freaky. This was the fourth time they had moved since Matt was a baby, and he had never been happy in a new house on the first night. In the back of his mind, he thought it felt like meeting new friends. He’d had to do that a lot too, he was an expert. At first you were sort of quiet and awkward around each other until you figured out what they liked and what you could talk about. You stood around with your hands in your pockets trying out different things to say. I have a bike, do you? Do you like Spider-man? What’s your favorite tv show? Eventually something clicked and you found something to be friends over, but until then you were strangers and it was weird.

New houses were kind of like that too. It took time for them to warm up to you. This one clearly didn’t like him yet. That thought reminds him that it was almost Monday. He groans, letting his head thunk against the headboard. Monday meant he was going to have to start a new school with a new teacher and make new friends. Again. His heart sinks at the thought of standing in another unfamiliar lunchroom and trying to find someone, anyone, who will let him sit with them.

This was so stupid. Why did they have to move again? Matt is half-asleep, his eyes heavy and his glasses leaving a red pressure mark across the side of his face, when he hears a quiet voice whisper.

“Sorry I scared you.”

~

“What’s that?” Matt’s mom asks as he is wolfing down a bowl of cereal before the school bus comes. Sitting beside his bowl is a little figure made out of copper wire, twisted into the shape of a person.

Usually Ben helps him get ready for school in the morning, because even when his mom is not at work she has files to read and emails to answer and things to do. She works for the government, so it’s really important. But Ben had to leave early today because he had detention.

“My friend left it for me,” Matt says in between crunchy bites of cereal.

“It’s cute.” Leia picks up the little wire figure with two fingers, turning it over before sitting it back down.

“He made me another one too-” Matt pauses to lean over in his chair and dig around in his backpack. Papers rustle before he sticks his head back above the table and sets another little wire figure beside the first one.

“Is that a dog?” His mom’s phone dings. She glances at it, frowning. Then she sighs and barely restrains rolling her eyes, thumbing open an email app. “Does he really think...” she mutters to herself.

“It’s a cat,” Matt says. “He said they had a cat when he lived here. He’d probably make you one too, if you wanted.”

Without looking up from her phone, his mom says, “That would be very sweet, thank you Matty. Now go get your lunchbox while I tell this idiot how to do his job”

Matt sinks down in his chair, clutching his backpack against his chest. “I hate when you call me Matty.”

Two month after they move in, Matt’s teacher calls his mother in for a meeting after school. Matt sits out in the hall while they talk, scuffing his feet against the pea green linoleum and listening to the patter of voices inside the classroom. All the other kids have gone home, and the school feels empty. Abandoned.

The clock at the end of the hall says 3:46.

Matt runs his fingers over the little wire figure in his hand. The one that looked like a person waving hello. He had a lot of them now, all lined up on his dresser, but this one was his favorite. At the end of the hall, the janitor pushes a floor buffer.

The classroom door opens and Matt jumps, stuffing the wire figure in his pocket.

“Thank you, Mrs. Carney,” his mother is saying, in her polite, ‘talking to strangers’ voice.

“Thank you for your time, Ms. Organa,” his teacher gives him a little wave, “Bye Matt, see you tomorrow.”

“ ‘bye,” he mumbles without looking up from the floor.

Leia steers him out to the car, a hand on his shoulder the whole way. It isn’t until he’s buckled up in the backseat and they’re pulling out of the school parking lot that either of them speaks.

“Is it because I yelled at Jake Evers at lunch?” Matt’s voice is small.

One of the reasons they had to move out of their old house was because his mom got a transfer at her job.  The other reason, Ben said, was because Matt had gotten into so much trouble at school that he was about to be expelled. Matt had promised his mom that he’d do better this time, and he’d been trying, he really had-

Leia sighs without taking her eyes off the road. “Not... just because of that.”

“I didn’t mean to throw the juice box at him. I just got mad.”

“Why were you mad?”

“Because he’s a stupid jerk.”

To his surprise, his mother huffs a little laugh. “Well, I can’t say I don’t know where you get it from.”

“Bad tempers run in our family,” Matt mutters.

She frowns. “What makes you say that?”

“I don’t know. It’s something dad said.”

Dad had been talking about Ben when he said it, but Matt knew it applied to him too.

They drive in silence for a while, passing the place where Ben took him sometimes to get ice cream after school, when he wasn’t too busy. Matt suddenly regrets bringing up dad. His mom always got that look on her face when they talked about dad- the one like she was pursing her lips hard to hold in all the angry comments.

“What about your story?”

Matt’s brows furrow behind his glasses. He looks up from picking at a seam in the armrest. “What story?”

“The one you wrote yesterday in class.” Leia says, gently at first, but as she continues the words start to come out in an angry rush. “About the boy with no eyes, whose mother kills him and hides his body in the attic? Matty, where would you even come up with something like that?” She sounds upset and it makes him want to hunch down in his seat. “I didn’t.... I- Nowhere. It’s just a story. Don’t be mad.”

“I’m not mad, Matty, I’m...” she sighs, “Just promise me you won’t write any more stories like that.”

“I promise. It’s just a story I heard, I’m sorry. I promise.” His shoulders creep up to his ears.

He stares out the car window as they pull onto their street. A couple of girls he knows from school are out riding bikes. They wouldn’t let him ride with them, even if he wanted to play with girls. Which he doesn’t. On the corner, a tall guy with orange hair is taping a flyer to the stop sign. Matt catches a flash of a picture of a boy in a yellow sweater and the word ‘MISSING’ before they turn into their driveway.

After dinner he goes straight up to his room and shuts the door.

[shadowmn214]

Dream 2018/Mar/14 - "The Dark Tower"

Talk about crazy ass but awesome dreams. This one is a two parter that kind of melds into itself.

I was in a large house with 3 floors and a garage underneath. Similar to the house styles near the beaches of the south eastern coast. But this was not near water. This house was the weirdest amalgamation of houses I've ever seen. I was lucid enough to see where my mind was gluing parts together to form it. Parts from my Parents house, my tower of Grey in the woods, other dream locations; I think it was supposed to be my future house.

It was dark out. We only had a few lights on in the house. I recall my mother being there for some reason on the first floor in the kitchen area. It over looked a yard that was another mix of locations. On one side of the kitchen there was a hallway that led to the front door, and on the other must have been the spare bedroom behind the kitchen were stairs that led upstairs to my room and another room. My room went up further to an attic area. However the house was separated into two. The other side of the house which was not accessible from the inside of mine belonged to someone else whom I did not know.

There was an odd Stone Pillar in the middle of the house by the stairs though. It had designs and shapes on it. The one part of it that I remember clearly was a triangle with circles at the tips. The top one had the head of a goat in it, almost like the satanic symbol, only it didn't look as angry. On the bottom left was an Owl inside it's circle. It looked like a snowy owl, like Hedwig from harry potter. It sat facing twoards the center of the triange but it's face was twoards the veiwer. The third point of the triangle was either obscured from my veiw or broken off of the stone. Either way it dropped a bit of fear into me when I saw it. I knew It was something I shouldnt get close enough to touch. However during the rest of the dream it was not there. In fact now that I think about it, That area beside and beneathe the stairs was never seen by me again the whole dream. All the moves that I made, walking or looking around the house I never needed to look in that direction again.

So that�s a bit of the layout, but bear with me for the plot, because it goes in and out of dream levels almost fluidly at some points. And towards the end becomes more like a dream with the amount of sense it makes.

I found myself laying down, in what was presumably bed, but it seemed more like I was on the floor. I was entwined with who seemed to be <i>Jene</i> or at least that�s who it felt like at first. I moved from my back to my side to embrace her but she was facing away from me sleeping. As soon as I really started to look to see where the warmth and love emotion was coming from she became more like <i>Bluebird</i> in feeling, but only a bit, like a mixture of them, it�s so odd I can't even describe it. Just that feeling of comfort and closeness, and a real tactile feeling of warmth. I got up and put the blanket over her and kissed her on the cheek. Her face was in the dark, but at the moment it almost felt like <i>Rose</i>.

I walked downstairs to find my mother and what seemed to be my sister. But it seemed to be them at a distance only. After some idle chitchat I do not remember, I recall noticing some men outside the house, coming from a neighbor�s house that was a bit closer to the road. I told my mother to turn out the lights which were only slightly visible from the hallway to the front door.

They did not approach my door but went underneath to the garage. At this point I was able to see through the floorboards to the open garage that had a divider down the middle. They found my neighbor and shot him a few times as he was trying to escape in his car. The two men then came up to our front door and knocked on it. I knew what they were doing already, maybe it was being lucid, allowing me to see the sequence of the dream logic. They introduced themselves and members of the FBI, even had some fake badges. They asked if we had heard any suspicious noises or activity that night, as my neighbor was under investigation and was missing.

I telekinetically pulled the gun away from the man who spoke, whom had it resting in front of him, covered by folded hands. I shot his partner and then shot him, as they immediately started to move forward to get into the house. My mother freaked out, thinking that I just shot the police. I moved them over to their house and started the journey into the lost woods to hide.

At least I think so. I think I woke up at this point, and when I went back in we were already in the woods. I also think I woke up because I was not dressed the same in the dream anymore and I was accompanied by different beings. As we walked through the woods down a not so familiar path we came across a monorail set and a couple of high speed trains went by. So much so that we were almost hit. I knew these Trains were are connected to the snowy peaks that I often can go to that lead me to a different side of my world.

As it got dark we found a place to hide as we walked along the tracks, we couldn�t go past the tracks because it was the border of the dream world. There was almost like this shimmering orange net matrix. We heard a wolf bellow so we started to move knowing we were in danger somehow and found ourselves at the base of a tower where all manner of nightmares were coming down from. The figures were so formless though. I recall seeing fangs and wings within them though. They aimed for us and I did my best to force push them and smash them around but it didn't do much.

I turned to one of my companions who was evidently a wizard. I likened the form to Gandalf for some reason. (What a crazy ass dream) He waved his staff at me and suddenly I had a vision of laying down sleeping, with a woman sleeping on me. Similar to the start of the whole dream. The vision became me and I was no longer at the base of the nightmare tower. A woman lying on me sleeping, my arms lightly on her warm bare back. She was morphing though different people. At first it was <>Rose<>, but she briefly turned into <i>The Poison Mushroom</i> and then <i>Luna</i>. But she spoke something to me in her sleep. An incoherent sleepy utterance. My heart beat faster and the love that was present, emotionally, like... exploded throughout my being, in a weird tingling fire.

Suddenly she was gone and I was standing again at the base of the tower and I blasted the shit out of the monsters coming down the tower with Thick and wide beamy glowing eye lasers like superman. And at the same time I didn't even have to think about flight, it simply just happened. I flew up and met it halfway, continuing my assault of Heat vision and telekinetic destruction.

And yes, you guessed it. It was then when I woke up.

So that's allot to unpack. A few metaphors that I could draw from it as well. But certainly the most fucked up dream I've had in a while. That perfect blend of Not making sense, Chaos, and conciousness / lucidity.

I heard someone talk about it recently and I think it seems to be true. I have the most vivid and mostly lucid dreams the second night after being under cannibis effects. So not the first night I am sober, but the second night I am.

In addition to all this the weather has made my sleeping arrangements somewhat uncomfortable in terms of tempurature. When I go to bed I am usually cold, so I put on all of my blankets. But when I hit sleep my body heats up and because I have all the blankets on I start to overheat, which is one of the leading causes of nightmares. But Most of the time when I do have nightmares I still have my Dreamworld abilities, it makes it interesting. I recall the Badges Dream I had a few months ago that was the perfect example of this.

It's odd though, how the dreamworld versions of places can be. Once I was under the effect of 25mg after a week of non-use and was in my bathroom. The lights were off but there was enough light to see myself in the mirror. Something clicked in my head and suddenly it was like I was in the dreamworld and in reality at the same time. I looked out the window to the night and saw both my dreamworld backyard and my real one at the same time, like the paralells were merged. I have had dreams of being in that same bathroom with that exact same lighting before in a dream.

These are the types of dreams and experiences that make me want to dive deeper, just to see what I can see. I think I am strong enough now that if nightmares start to manifest I know I can fight them. I think I'm ready to try more spirtually expanding chemicals. Most of them are illegal though, for the same reason I would imagine. So it probably wont happen for a while.