#the whole animal is pretty much intact but i don't have space or time for the soft tissue to get cleaned up

[mynameisbillandimaheadcase]

cw: dead animals

[milevenstancyendgame]

Eleven And Ableism

So I've been seeing recurring awful ableist views on El, all the way from old s1 posts to recent post-s4/s5-anticipating posts, and I won't have it.

People talking about El as though she was stupid. Because she barely spoke in s1, and in the following seasons still speaks like a child sometimes. Because she didn't learn a whole lot of things that children usually learn in our society, because she's lacking social knowledge.

This hurts me in a very personal way, because I have complex trauma too, with similar adaptations as El, and I've experienced the same discrimination, and still am experiencing it profoundly by the ableist welfare/medical system.

El doesn't talk much in s1, because she's traumatised, both in general, and freshly re-traumatised after being forced into the tank, encountering the demogorgon, opening the gate, fleeing the lab, seeing the first kind person to help her getting murdered, and then being bombarded with a ton of questions and unknown terms by a group of boys, the majority of whom don't seem very friendly towards her at first, but react to her like something abnormal/disgusting (wow, that's a lot) .

And she obviously was horribly abused during her whole childhood; objectified as a weapon and taught to not take up any space. She was just told what to do all the time. To only speak when spoken to.

She finds herself in a completely new environment full of strangers. Can you even imagine her level of fear, as a child who never was given any emotional safety, going outside for the first time and encountering strangers for the first time?

Of course, she doesn't talk much! Her whole life experience was a nightmare, why would she act like other kids?

Also, she has developmental arrest, meaning that due to the extremely unsafe surroundings she was born into, her brain couldn't develop as much and in the same way as that of other children, making her developmentally and emotionally younger than her physical age.

The crucial thing about human beings is that we need love to grow and thrive. Emotional connection creates new neural pathways in our brain. Learning is a social thing.

That is why she sometimes talks or behaves like an infant. Parts of her personality/brain are literally still that young.

Humans (and other animals) also do this thing called dissociation. It's a survival mechanism that makes you disconnect from your sensations and emotions (going internally numb).

Children who are repeatedly traumatised in infancy, rely heavily on dissociation, because a baby/toddler can't fight or run away.

A dissociative trauma response will paralyse (freeze) you or make you go limp (collapse). It also shuts down the verbal part of your brain (and other cognitive parts).

We see El going into freeze a lot in s1 when she's scared, but since it's fiction, it never lasts long, because there's no time.

And since El has been raised to be a weapon and therefore forced to fight, she taps into this trauma response frequently too.

All of this trauma-info-dump, just to give you a tiny glimpse of how incredibly intelligent El/her body/her brain is.

She went through all of this torture since she was a baby, no one loved her, and yet she survived, and yet she is still a whole person, a unique individual, a child who despite everything, is still capable of forming attachments and her capacity for love fully intact.

But people see a quiet/mute child, or a non-responsive child, and assume they are "stupid". I think it's pretty obvious who is the stupid one in this equation.

[dogaroo]

GUYS I FOUND AN OLD SHUICHI AND KAITO ONESHOT IN MY ANCIENT WATTPAD ACCOUNT’S DRAFTS‼️

It’s very out of context since it’s from my old Animal Motive au that I’m currently rewriting, but I read it and thought it was pretty entertaining. so here u go🤓 ( btw Shuichi is a bilby in this )

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Jdxjdjddjd this scenario popped into my head and I wanted to write it down cuz I like it lol.

So the book is up there?" Kaito gazed up at the top shelf. From where they stood it seemed to stretch up all the way to the sky. Monokuma just had to place it in the least convenient place didn't he?(shuichi shows frustration with action) The tip of Kaito's tail stirred near Shuichi's ears, gently brushing them occasionally. It flicked to and fro like a fly trapped in a jar. The tiny detective wondered if his friend was having second thoughts on agreeing to go up there. Last time Shuichi used the ladder it didn't seem too sturdy and he worried if it would be able to withstand Kaito's new weight.

"You don't need to go up there of course!" Shuichi assured, hopping forward to be in line with Kaito's forepaws. Though he abruptly stopped as his friend’s huge paws stomped dangerously close to his whiskers. Kaito was taking several steps back, excitedly kneading the ground in preparation as he did so. Shuichi quickly gave his friend space, not wanting the claws to accidentally tear his nose off. "Nah, watch this!"

Before the smaller boy could protest, Kaito leapt into the air. Shuichi’s heart jumped as the claws made a terrible noise against the old splintered floor, and spewed wood chips in his face. It didn't hurt, but it was enough too startle a pathetic hiss out of him. He bristled, backing up in a craze. Kaito looked down over his shoulder from where he was perched on the ladder, "You good down there man?" Shuichi quickly froze, fur burning up in embarrassment. He completely over reacted because of some small wood chips.

After a few heart beats he managed to flatten his poofed up fur and snapped his head up, "Ah yes!" He called, shuffling closer to the ladder in an attempt to play his panicked fumbling off. "Just- be careful!" Kaito laughed in reply but Shuichi noted that it sounded tauter than his usual ones. The ladder creaked silently and Kaito's voice rang out from higher up, "Don't worry about me Shuichi, I got this!" And without saying anything more, he continued on. Shuichi's stomach lurched at the wood's groan, as if a dozen of bees were trapped inside of the ladder step. But to Shuichi’s relief, the ladder stayed intact and allowed his best friend to continue hauling himself up the steps.

Shuichi spectated below, silently urging Kaito on more and more as the time lengthened. He felt his fur itching as the possibility of him falling buzzed in his head. Exasperation strangled his lungs, and he wanted nothing more than to call the whole plan off and have Kaito climb down safely to him. But as much as the words banged inside his throat he kept his mouth shut, this book was way too important and they had to risk it. ‘Still..’ He thought, ‘I wish there was a safer alternative.’

"I goh ih!"

Kaito's muffled mew of triumph sliced satisfyingly through Shuichi's train of thought. From the sound of it, he had the book securely between his jaws. Shuichi's ears perked up with his spirits, "Great!" He opened his mouth to say more but the loud agonizing SNAP of the ladder cut him off. Next thing they both knew was that Kaito was plummeting to the ground with a muffled yowl of surprise following him on the way down. Without a second thought, Shuichi darted away just before a loud thump replaced him.

"Kaito!" He quickly turned and scurried to his friends side. Shuichi gaped in horror at the frozen lump, and for a few terrible heart beats he wondered if Kaito was dead, but he was thankfully disproven by a disgruntled groan. Shuichi sighed, feeling his heart untwist itself from the fright, before giving Kaito room to stiffly get up and roughly shake out his fur. "You're not badly hurt are you?" The former fretted, stepping closer as he testing the air for any hint of blood. A tail reached out and nudged Shuichi’s snout away to stop his scared sniffing.

"Come on, man," Kaito said, voice muffled once more but it was due to the anxious licking of his own chest. Shuichi's whiskers twitched with amusement when he realized that Kaito was trying to act cool. "It'll take way more than that to stop me!" The detective’s muscles loosened as the rest of his worry flowed out of him, his friend remained as proud and stubborn as ever, he had no reason to worry.

"Right" Shuichi chuckled under his breath, turning his nose to the blue shape lying next to his friend's paws. He gently hopped forward until his nosed grazed the hard worn out cover. He placed a paw on it, feeling the engraved phoenix symbol among the multiple cracks in the old leather. He wondered how many years this book had been here. When was it put in this library? Who had inhabited this run down school before them? Why were they even here to begin with.? ‘Stop’ he scolded himself internally ‘one mystery at a time, or you'll overwhelm yourself again.’ Shuichi hastily shook the thoughts from his head, deciding there was no point in worrying about things bigger than him. Right now they had a good start with this book, ‘focus on that instead.’ he took his paw off the dusty book and smiled up at Kaito expectantly.

Several silent seconds passed by. Shuichi shifted his paws awkwardly, beginning to worry if he had done something wrong, he twitched his ears anxiously as he waited a few moments longer.

"What happened?" Kaito suddenly asked, bending down to sniff at the book questioningly only to recoil back as if it bit him, "man, that's one dusty book," he exclaimed with a congested voice due to him batting at his nose to clear the dust. Shuichi was a Little surprised that he himself hadn't been bothered by the dust, but then he remembered that he was a burrowing animal. His nose could probably withstand more dirt than the other's. "This isn't the wrong book, is it?" Kaito twined once he stopped pestering his nose. Shuichi shook his head, the symbol was there so it had to be the right one.

"then why are you staring at me instead of reading it?" Annoyance pooled at edge of his mew, the same way it always did when Kaito started to loose his patience. Shuichi could already hear the familiar swishing of the lion’s tail as it swatted the air in mild irritation. The words took a few seconds to process. What did he mean? What else was he expected to do? Read it himself? Then realization struck Shuichi like an adder.

Instantly his pelt went aflame with humiliation and he grew more than thankful for the fur covering his face. He had spent the last few minutes staring at Kaito like and idiot. He instantly turned his head towards the closed book, hoping to find some sort of comfort in its lack of color. Why did he expect Kaito to understand? His mind began to race as he fumbled to form some sort of response to his friend's rather simple question. It didn't help that Kaito’s gaze seemed to pierce into the back of his skull. The atmosphere grew heavier, his pelt grew stuffier and his heartbeat quickened until it felt like bursting. He couldn't bear the tension anymore so he forced whatever words he could form out his mouth, "Ah, I.. uh- I can't read..."

Silence.

"What do you mean you can't read?" Kaito asked, sounding as if he were just told that the sky was green. ‘No! You couldn't have worded that any more wrong!’ He inwardly hissed at himself, dumbfounded by how stupid his answer was. But Shuichi's moment of self- depreciation was short lived because the atmosphere promptly weighed down on him once more. It pressed down on his back like he was trying to shoulder a boulder. He snapped his head up at Kaito and opened his mouth in a desperate attempt to fix a situation that didn't really need fixing in the first place. The words came out spaced out and slow as he thought of how to explain himself.

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And that’s it-💀 I cut off right there for some reason and I don’t think I’ll write more about this specific variation of the AU since I pretty much abandoned it, but I rlly love Bilby shuichi.. so, maybe,,, i can finish baking this one shot if y’all want *wink wink* Also writing tips and constructive criticism are more then welcome!

Oh yeah Bilbys are basically blind and that’s the whole gig of this fic lol. Shuichi just straight up forgot to tell Kaito abt that and expected him to know… stupid. He’s so stupid.

Have a good daybye! ( thx for reading!<33 )

[scripttorture]

Hi! My character is being tortured by hunters, who are used to torture supernatural creatures, which my character is not. With supernatrural creatures, they just cut them open and they heal. They mostly use knives and electric batons. Is there a way for them to torture her without just cutting her randomly? And where on her they shouldn't cut too deeply if they don't want her to bleed to death?I know that the heart and the femoral artery can be deadly if touch. Also, the torture happen on 2 days

OK well part of this isgoing to depend on how intact you want the character to be afterwards. From thecontext I’m guessing the scars are fine but that disabling mutilation probablyisn’t.

 Most torture involvingknives is ‘just’ cutting someone repeatedly. Torturers, as a general rule,aren’t that inventive.

 That doesn’t mean Ican’t help. I think I’ll start off by talking about more and less risky areas,then I’ll talk about some variants on cutting torturers have used in the past.

 First off stabbing downinto the flesh is a lot more dangerous in most areas than cutting the surfaceof the skin. There’s more chance of hitting a major blood vessel or organ. Evenif the torturers hit neither the damage to muscles, ligaments and tendons couldhave a lasting impact on the character’s mobility.

 Bleeding to death isn’tnecessarily the biggest risk and it’s not the only way the character could die.Avoiding the anus and the inside of the vagina (if she has one) is prettyessential if you don’t want the character to get sepsis. I specify the insideof the vagina because it’s very possible to connect it to the intestines. Andmessy and probably fatal.

 Avoiding the neck isalso smart. Cutting the spinal column isn’t much of a risk, it’s difficult todo and the spine protects it well. Cutting the blood vessels could kill veryquickly and cutting the windpipe could also kill by making breathing moredifficult.

 I think it’s probablyalso a good idea to avoid the abdomen. There isn’t a whole lot between organsand the air in that area. And disembowelling someone is- well the survival rateis pretty low.

 There are also a fewspots where veins are closer to the surface of the skin: the underside of thearms, the inside of the elbow and (I think) the inside of the knee. It’s a goodidea for them to avoid the joints generally if you don’t want the character tohave mobility issues later in the story. If however you’d like your characterto come away from this with a disability attacks to the joints are a goodwriting choice.

 Beyond that I think thedepth of the cut is the major factor but the….less risky depth varies greatlydepending on the part of the body. It’s probably best to just assume that thecharacters doing this know enough about butchery (ie handling meat and jointinganimals) to be able to roughly judge the depth.

 If they’re goinganywhere near deep enough to touch the heart I think the character would probablydie, whether they hit the heart or not. That’s a pretty deep injury and there’sa lot of important stuff between the heart and the outside world, like thelungs or the spine. The sorts of less risky depths I’m thinking of are in therange of 0.75 cm or less in most areas. For context your skin is roughly1.2-1.3 mm thick in most places.

 I think one of themajor risks to the character is going to be infection in these cuts, especiallysince I’m guessing you want them to cover a significant portion of her body.The more of them there are the higher the chances of something nasty gettinginto at least one of them.

 Which brings me tovariants on cutting.

 Two things are comingto mind. One is excising small portions of skin: cutting skin off. The other isa variant on ‘pepper’.

 Excising skin creates apretty big infection risk. It scars. It can cause pretty massive keloid scars,which are a form of raised scar tissue that can impair movement. Keeping theexcised portions of skin small and spaced out would help prevent that. If theywere doing a lot of these repeatedly then I’d suggest a size similar to the tipof the victim’s finger. If they’re only doing it a few times (2-5) and there’sspace between them then each excision could be larger. But over two days andwithout a hospital on hand- I’d suggest keeping them smaller than the size ofthe victim’s hand at a maximum.

 ‘Pepper’ is the term Iuse for application of irritants (usually culinary) to mucous membranes. Thesame approach can be taken to cuts.

 Common relativelyharmless irritants include: chilli, garlic (also an antiseptic), salt and blackpepper.

 More harmful optionsinclude dirt (infection risk), mild bleach solution (this might burn orchemically cook some areas under the skin), glass and uh waste material (verylarge infection risk).

 Obviously a lot of theoptions in the second list would result in bigger injuries and/or infection.They’d probably only be survivable if the character had access to good, modernmedical care afterwards.

 Another option issomething like ash, which when put in a deep enough cut formssomething…basically like a poorly done tattoo. It’s a blurry grey-ish markthat’s permanent. I don’t understand exactly how it works but looking up themechanism behind tattooing generally and ‘ash rub’ body modification shouldgive you an idea.

 All of these would addconsiderably to the pain of each cut.

 More generally I’dsuggest thinking about the time frame a little.

 I don’t think two days is a bad time period to pick but you should beaware that the torturers probably won’t be able to abuse her constantly overthat time. Torture tends happen in intense bursts; with torturers focusing alot on a victim when they’re initially captured and then giving them periods ofrest.

 The sorts of torturesyou’re picturing require physical effort on the part of the torturers. I thinkit’s likely that over the two days there’d be a period of intense attacks wherethey do- basically everything they can think of- in the first 6-12 hours.They’d probably take it in turns as they get tired. Then there’d probably be apause in the abuse and it would pick up again for shorter periods of time overthe remainder of the two days.

 Putting irritants inthe cuts might be an after-thought on the torturer’s part and could be writtenas something they think of and do later.

 You may also want tolook through my tag on electricity and/or at Reuter’s indepth piece on Tasermisuse and torture.

 I hope that helps. :)

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