#the week after this finale is gonna be brutal i can feel it 😭 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

randomalistic · 3 months ago

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first off. i can't believe that i already followed you- your spam blog -and didn't know.

second. i literally just had a dream shere i was rambling to someone about turbo using stuff from your essay. apparently it rewired my brain so hard it, and you, manifested in my dreams lol (i even made a bad joke that "you can say he's Turbo-tastic!" hah)

and congratulations on making such great work of art that is the essay, you can feel and hear the love(and hyperfixation) poured into it.

i do wonder tho, what was the hardest part when making it?

I’m so glad you enjoyed it yay :)❤️ and also recognized me from my sneo blog LOL

I feel that so horrendously much. I legit had a dream a few nights ago about someone APPROACHING ME cuz they recognized my voice from the essay (girl get an ego check) but they then said “dude it’s so obvious you’re into him” or something. And I was like. 🧍‍♀️Well you don’t have to say it out loud

Anyways you’re not the only one cuz the video haunts me too. even after its birth.

The hardest part?? Oh Man. Can I say Everything.

There were a few stretches that were REALLY TOUGH. short answer: Entire first half of the video. Also the longer parts like the Manipulation section, Turbo reveal section, and the Cybug King Candy section. I had a lot to say for these and it was tricky to condense it into something Comprehensible

Long answer:

I completely overhauled the entire first half of the video (EVERYTHING before the kart breaking scene) because I wasn’t satisfied with the writing/delivery etc. (Which was a good choice because my arguments were pretty half baked before) but oh my god that was like a week and a half of 7 hour recording and rewriting sessions it was brutal. Especially annoying because those arguments were super old and I was getting sick of thinking about them. So instead I used them as a backbone to structure better arguments and revamp the script so that kept me from going insane. However it was also really fun because I got to see my old ass arguments finally be explained to their fullest capacity. And also I got to write shit like ☝️🤓Excuse me sir your turbo is showing..

The biggest issue with this being my first ever video essay and it taking so goddamn long: you could SEE my writing/editing/voicing skills improve over the span of the video itself. Which is really cool improvement wise but REALLY . REALLY BAD CONSISTENCY WISE. Like the first half of the video is the part people are gonna see first. It SETS EXPECTATIONS. IT HAS TO BE PEAK

I think I re-edited the synopsis upwards of 5-6 times. Which makes sense as that was like the first thing I started the project with but ouhvhhhgghghr. Making a section from scratch is WAY easier than going back and having to redo something

Early on I cut out an entire fully edited/scripted/recorded 3 minute section of me talking about Megamind and its sequel because I realized. This is pointless and everyone has TALKED ABOUT MEGAMIND BEFORE AND THIS HAS NOTHIBG TO DO WITH WRECK IT RALPH. There were a lot of scrapped ideas

Audio was also really challenging, just entirely. Making sure the levels were consistent (I had absolutely zero voice volume normalization I did it all manually 😭 I’m gonna have to figure out how to do that) Also just the concept of recording my voice and having to speak out loud in a space was Real Bad for my anxiety but You Do it Scared. Had to wait until I was home alone or like 99% sure I was alone before I could say anything without worrying. Also training my voice to sound engaging and consistent was so hard and it took maybe 6 months for me to get it down. Also I had no fucking idea where to record, like at first I was recording in a CLOSET (and later under a piano??) and then I was wondering why my lines sounded so weird. Then I realized I could just Record in a room and it would sound JUST FINE. So basically uhhh every single part was the hardest part. But it was worth it and very fun I think 🫶

#Ask #wir video #Youtube #Thank you 🥺

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phantom-of-the-501st · 2 years ago

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Episode 4 Thoughts

Spoilers for Season 2

This episode was so fun! 😄 I needed that after last week.

Hunter and Echo were transporting nuggets?! 🤣

Wrecker playing strategy games with Omega is adorable. Love how they're showing just how smart Wrecker really is this season.

Tech seems to be questioning working for Cid. Might join Echo's mindset of joining the Rebellion? 🤔

CIDDARIN SCALEBACK?!

The vibes in this episode are immaculate omg.

TAY-0. JUST TAY-0.

Ngl, did not expect the racing to be quite this brutal.

Omega really stepping up this season. Love to see it. 🥰

WHERE ARE MY ARMS AND LEGS?!

Kind of a shame Echo wasn't there. Just looking at TAY-0 being like "yeah, I've been there mate".

More Cid backstory this season? 🤔

TAY-0 GOT SPLATTED

I had to pause it because I was laughing so hard. WAS NOT ANTICIPATING THAT. 🤣

Wrecker just flopping the droid head around. 🤣

"He's not joking".

Wrecker has had to deal with his chaotic brother for so long. He knows when he's serious.

Also, Wrecker is so supportive this episode. I want to cry. 😭

Sound design amazing as always. ✨️

The commentator talking about Tech is so funny. 🤣

"No, it's called losing!" Holy shit, Wrecker. I love you. 😭🤣

The nerdy boi being an absolute legend on the track is my favourite thing. I'm gonna need all the Tech racing we can get after this episode. 🔥

WRECKER AND OMEGA WERE SO PROUD!!! 😭🥰

The audience cheering for Tech is all of us every time he is on screen.

It was kinda fun getting an episode with just these three. We don't really get this team up that often and they're so fun together. 🥰

Saying that, Echo, honey. I miss you. 😭 I need my grumpy cyborg back.

I can just imagine Hunter and Echo coming back only to find out that Tech had taken part in some ridiculously dangerous riot racing not long after a broken leg.

Final thoughts

OMG I LOVED THIS EPISODE!!!

Was it filler? Pretty much. Do I care? Absolutely not. Having something more fun was a nice break after last episode. Sure, I still think ep 3 is the best, but this was a nice chill one (if slightly stressful at times). Happy to see more of these three interacting because I love them so much. 🥰

Definitely made me laugh a lot and the soundtrack slapped. Enjoying feeling very happy rather than miserable after watching it. 😄

There seems to be a growing uncertainty among the Batch as to where they want to be. I think there's a possibility that Tech might start to align with Echo's way of thinking a bit more and decide that the Rebellion might be a better idea than sticking with Cid.

But we'll see. This episode was a nice respite from the rest of the show but I'm looking forward to what is going to come. 🥰

Also, two whole episodes without Echo??? I'ma definitely need my boi back next ep. 😭

#the bad batch spoilers #the bad batch season 2 spoilers #tbb spoilers #the bad batch #the bad batch season 2 #star wars #tech #tbb tech #wrecker #tbb wrecker #omega #tbb omega #echo #tbb echo #hunter #tbb hunter

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petrichoraline · 2 years ago

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thanks to @pondphuwin @tinybangtanx and @chinzhillababy for indulging me and in such an incredible way too 😭🥰💖

okay, so *cracks knuckles* this is my big episode 11 prediction theory (and how it came to be) these are my predictions based on these beautiful cryptic resumes showed above. i should post a full ep11 script later, i just really want to get these out in the open before i go offline

at first the oishii pp part made me think in this direction: "those bottle scenes are always a bit spicy so maybe tinngun were doing another round of will-they-won't-they and looking at each others eyes while seductively gulping down pp juice when someone, maybe tinn's mom? walked in on them (and this was the last proof she needed to go off on tinn?)"

but then i was gobsmacked with "only drink from drinks you know about" which is giving "bar safety for girlies 101"? and makes me think about that "how each member of ateez would react if you ask them to watch your glass" video but anyways

i really doubt they're putting drugs into the last ep of The Wholesome Show™️ so there is def something else going on but quite important if two people decided it was vital to mention it

let's go to the other common point: "there is such a thing as taking "falling for you" too far" and "never give up but always watch ur step as u go"

i thought at first that this seems simple enough, a part of a pair (cause it's ep 11, obviously it's not gonna all be about tinngun) clumsily fell while being cute..i did, however, find it a bit sus it's one of two things said that @pondphuwin found worthy to mention..

so @chinzhillababy's addition made me paint a more colourful picture - person A upset person B, some big relationship quarrel occured but person A was like "oh no, this can't be it, i'm fighting for this, for us!" (based on the vibes of love and persistance the clues are exuding) and going after person B in a dramatic fashion, they fell down a solid amount of stairs; i was thinking tinngun tbh but reading about this type of stupidity just makes tiw's face steal tinn's spot in my imaginary scene..i can definitely see por being the needy bf being chased too. this would make sense if them secretly dating was canon and they had a fight about going public..i do, however, think my dash would have been bombarded with posts about it, so i feel i have to exclude that theory

honestly i'm just imagining someone making a dramatic love confession, falling fatally, ending up in hospital and dying (cause tissues?? went off with their acting?? @tinybangtanx your comment is so simple yet so confusing and it sets my imagination OFF)

but i remind myself this is the The Cute Vitamin of the Week Show™️ and get my head back in the boring reality of everyone being safe and sound 🙄 (if someone is actually seriously harmed i will kinda laugh ngl just because it'd feel like i've lost a bet brutally)

i can't get rid of the feeling it's more about a cathartic moment rather than a completely sad one, some type of breakthrough - although i imagine gun being a part of it, it might be the final conflict resolution or at least the open confrontation between tinn and his mom (which i imagine the show wouldn't treat lightly, their mom/son dynamic has been one of the constant themes of the show and this conversation is long overdue, the tension has been building since episode 1); ah, they better not be doing anything to gun's mom, considering the operation went well i doubt they'll be playing a will-she-won't-she (survive) in the last episodes (but the ending of the first resume is so ominous, the type of comment a person who's been hit by a shocker in a show and has been crying over fictional characters and is emotionally exhausted would put at the end of a sentence 😑(this is me squinting at you, mint, this "<3" bothered me more than the tissues comment! two takeaways is a sus amount of takeaways!! it reads as "idk what to tell ya this was a mess and i'm still not sure what i just watched"😭)

ugh let's move on, "arms are NOT legs (sometimes)" was the point at which i stopped squinting out of fear of being spoiled and just snorted loudly... this feels like another drunk gun moment- ohh

okay if the drink comment was NOT about the oishii product placement? if they are two different things OR there's not juice in those bottles? if someone really DID get drunk by accident and this arms-legs moment is just so cute and batshit insane that it HAD to be mentioned (but wasn't that important to the plot)?

i saw the thumbnails earlier btw so i know tiwpor are in this episode for sure but just realised i dont remember the preview from last week as i was trying to figure out what info i have from the previous ep

the arm/leg thing just reminds me of that yeosang video where he put his leg up during a photoshoot instead of his arm because the words sound the same but anyways; it also makes me think of like "give me your hand" and then they give him their leg..? or walking on all fours up stairs? (like it's basically a lot of drunk behaviour imagery, i'm stuck in this scenario lmao) so let's see the rest of the "details"

but before that i want to mention "never give up" really feels more like a not love-related thing, like chase your dreams or run after smth, it's only because of the "falling for you" line that i stay on the "romantic encounter/quarrel track)

(this is my thoughts flowing in real time, if you can't tell, that's why this post is two kilometers long, written in short paragraphs for orderliness and reading it probably feels like being splashed with a shot of espresso in the face at every turn)

okay maybe the arm/leg thing is about a hit? slap vs kick? and the sometimes is like.. whatever gets the job done? lol dramatic por shit if you ask me but maybe soundgun are finally battling that sexual tension out idk (again, my feed would not shut up if that were the case)

"you don't always need to swat away mosquitoes" - okay who kissed who? like this is definitely about a cheesy ass romantic moment (im imagining a camping tent cause that's what i associate mosquitoes with apparently lmao but this ain't golden blood); like one of these guys sucked on someone's wrist or..?? maybe it's a cute nickname, maybe it's about the actual insect but someone (i am seeing tiwpor because of a thumbnail being stuck in my head) for sure turned a huh? moment into a cute type of confession thing (i can't get a tiwpor in a tent scenario out of my head, i'm corrupted);

"if you're feeling dizzy hold on tight" - the more i read the more i feel someone ended up at a hospital.. did someone fall off a bike?? did they fall from the stairs?? (there are school stairs in my mind and i can't do anything about that, they're part of my imaginary ep set now)

i am so sleepy at this point i just saw the cute poses they were doing in a gif (and immediately clicked away okay) that i also saw in a thumbnail but i'll try not to put that into my episode

okay so the boys went off with their acting which means that this ain't about gemfourth only probably? it feels like it's a more balanced or side-couple heavy episode; maybe tinngun appear for a mom conflict moment but the rest is establishing what is going on with the other guys? maybe a lot of group scenes again// it wouldve helped if yall mentioned names guys i am sweating over here;

like did the oishii pp come before the falling or not?? who winged their tags here?? this is important you guys :((

i just saw a gif of gun screaming angrily (and first - hot- but second nooo okay this is gonna solidify tinngun as the falling couple, tiwpor can get the mosquitoes and soundwin are on a bike)

speaking of soundgun the arm/leg thing could be related to their whole "i'll be your hands" thing and sound's injury, i feel like it could come back in this episode in some way?

the drinks thing sounds like a silly chinzhilla mess-around gone wrong or a complete accident one of the members caused, like he placed his bottle full of god knows what in the wrong spot and someone drank it in a hurry;

"you don't always need to swat away mosquitoes" feels like such a romantic line. like "things that seem bad may bring you more joy than you imagined and could be right for you", smth spoken while one is walking away and the other gently gets hold of their wrist (yes, this is still calm tiw sitting down on a chair in a tent holding por's hand who looks distressed and is also wearing shorts with a belt and an expensive shirt tucked in, no, that will not make the final cut, it's a draft i can't get rid of, you see)

I KEEP SEEING MEME POSTS LIKE SMTH TIWPOR SMTH PAT SMTH AND I AM TOO SLOW AND INTRIGUED AND LOOK AWAY JUST IN TIME YO THIS IS A BATTLEFIELD (like why did all these msp posts start coming in now, is it the americans, did yall just get home and start blogging)

okayy serious conflict and what they are makes me think about the drinks again. if these are reffering to the bottles, aside from the content of the bottle, what else could be important about it? an indirect kiss? someone took gun's bottle and tinn was jealous for example? but that's silly stuff. so maybe there was a note on one of them? i am assuming it's more than one but maybe it is precisely one bottle as the pp this time and there was a romantic message on it (this reminds me of another show that's not coming to me rn). so this note gets in the hands of someone who was not meant to see it so maybe that's how tinngun's relationship gets revealed to the band (i had completely forgotten that was a conflict and could be turned into a big deal, i sobered up a bit and remembered just now); i feel like im way more on track with this one ngl ngl feels.. revelationary

again back to "you don't always need to swat away mosquitoes" - this is soundwin. it has to beeeee. like mosquitoes are annoying but you don't always have to chase them away, you can be a big tsundere about it (prior or post starting dating depending on whether you're sound or win lol) and let them be a part of your life, something like that.

tiw's career expectations vs wishes situation might actually be more than just a throwaway line for the job consultation part of the show, if we get to see more tiw that may be explored a bit. i personally don't know shit about por aside from the fact he's a fan of a teacher and has a fun fashion sense (that might be on me, i have trouble with understanding chinzhilla members) so it's very hard to speculate what they'd do together when given more screentime, all i can think about is their tutoring session and how that relates to career choices so it feels inevitable from my pov that their plot is gonna involve the topic of growing up or defying expectations or smth

the only feeling of dizzyness i can think off aside from bikes is the one gun's mom experiences? or maybe tinn's mom would experience out of shock (y'know, lakorn style) and considering thats the last comment in those tags i'm guessing it's about the end of the episode so maybe tinn's mom finally reacts to tinngun and faints or smth and tinn has to do some doctor- we had that with gun's mom already, moving onn

I JUST REMEMBERED THE PREVIEW WAITT so the last ep ended with hot wave (i absolutely forgot that you do not understand how hard im giggling at myself for that rn, i have to binge shows, otherwise you get me writing about msp for hours and not recalling the most anticipated event of the show happening as a cliffhanger last week) and in the preview they were back at the resort and gun talked about how he didn't want the guys to regret staying with him and they did a group hug.. now the other stuff i don't remember.) i'm guessing they didn't win; the way i remembered is i was like "tf they doing for a whole episode? a road trip?" and it came to me) so if they're back in the resort with pat i'm guessing my dude finally took two minutes to give them some words of wisdom without acting insane; maybe this ending of sorts for them got por thinking about his future and that got him and tiw talking and bonding but some of those tags have to be about tiwpor and yet NONE OF THEM FIT WITH THIS THEORY

#msp #my school president #my school president ep11 #i consume a lot of ateez content on tiktok and it shows #lets stop here gn #no im not rereading this before posting #yes pleaseee if you do read comment on it but write SPOILERS if you talk about any #if you see soundgun i mean soundwin i mix them up a lit cause soundgun sounds better

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jayflrt · 6 months ago

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summer has been pretty fun !! i've been doing a couple of online courses because the workaholic in me Cannot take a break 💪 i've also been hanging out w/ my friends a lot !! and there might be a tentative hiking trip being planned :)) i've also got a lot of time to read books and watch shows !! and i started playing honkai: star rail as well <3

OMG yes ! ALL my friends have said the exact same thing about bridgerton 😭 honestly i'm excited to finish s1 (kinda put it on hold after ep 6 oops) so that i can watch s2 >:) simone ashley is so gorgeous it's like i'm saving the best for last HAHA another friend recommended outer banks so i'm watching that as well !! ooh and i have to finish jjk s2 💀 the number of spoilers i've seen... it's like ik what exactly happens but i want to finish it because i don't like leaving things unfinished :') i also want to watch blue lock :o is it good ??

THE HAIKYUU TIMESKIP IS BEING ANIMATED??? oh god i fear the person i will become if/when it comes out 😵‍💫🤭 also the spy x family movie is finally being released in my country so i'm super excited for that :)

and no, omg, pls take care !! i don't think we live in the same country but the heat has been brutal here too, thankfully it started raining a few weeks back 🙏 good luck w/ work !! make sure to take breaks & not get burnt out <3 AND HAVE A SAFE AND NICE TRIP !!!!! — anime :)

omg i'm glad!! :') also no i feel you HAHAH i took college classes during summers too because it just felt weird to sit around idk 🤧 also wait that's so fun!! are you hiking for the day or are you gonna be camping too? omg how is honkai 🫢 i've only played genshin but i saw that hoyoverse came out with a new game too

LMFAOOO no yeah i literally warn everyone about that part of s1 because it's just so easy to be put off the rest of the show after watching it 😭 rightfully so but like come on shonda you clearly had the creative liberty to take that part out!!! but omg yes i loveee simone ashley she literally looks like a goddess 🥹 i've read some of the manga for blue lock (not sure about the anime) but it looked pretty good from what i've read so far!! lowkey pretty intense and high stakes,, not what i expected but still rlly interesting!

also YES haikyuu timeskip my beloved 🥹🥹💖 and also i hope you enjoy the spyxfamily movie!! i still need to watch it, i missed my chance to see in theaters :(( lmk how it is though!! AND THANK YOU ML I HOPE YOU'RE DOING WELL <33

#💌 : love notes #anime anon

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rhymingtree · 2 years ago

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The King makes his entrance...

Ooh a Bucky POV flashback... this is gonna hurt

Oh no, it's worse. It's a nightmare.

Aww, he kept her backpack...

A moment of silence for Bucky's declining mental and emotional health, courtesy of Darke

SAMUEL. WILSON. DIDN'T WE ALREADY TELL YOU. SOMETIMES NATASHA IS WRONG.

Only sometimes. But this is one of those times.

She wasn’t their friend, she was a manipulator that had been lying to them from the start.

No, that's a lie nonononono

Goddamnit

Poor Steve had to deal with two Russians and his girlfriend taking his archer buddy hostage and then said hostage buddy had to deal with his best friend's (ex???) girlfriend who was pulling theatrics on every single one of them... no wonder he's tired.

“Why do my World War Two veterans constantly look like shit?”

I feel like based on that limited information you can kinda tell what the answer is but ok Tony keep trying to be funny

OH MY GOD PETER

.... I completely forgot he was here.... um

He's in so much trouble HAHAHAH

You winced lightly, holding your side as the C-17 soared over the Atlantic.

I'm on my Wakanda Forever kick so I'm imagining a very bemused Namor just looking up from under the surface thinking, "How many times is that loud ass hunk of metal going to fly over us?"

That was over the Pacific.

Same difference.

Hyde!Ghost did not pass high school geography it seems.

Is she seriously thinking about jumping into the ocean? What's she gonna do swim for miles until she can snag Ollie's ankle and drag him into the depths with her?

What do you mean she involuntarily turned back toward the exit?

Hahaha that's scary I don't like it

Hyde!Ghost is ballsy and brutal... I mean she always has been but seeing her like this is almost always daunting to me

BOONE. THANK YOU.

“When’s the last time you slept?”

“I don’t remember.”

me this past week

��Maybe. If not, we’ll just camp out until they take pity on us.”

... They will not simply take pity on you, and neither will the elephants and rhinos and other wildlife outside their border.

Boone has sunset bias.

T'CHALLAAAAA

I missed him. I've been missing him more since WF and now I get to see more of him.

The faint remnants of the heart-shaped herbs disintegrated with every step his gardeners took, trying to save anything that was left of the plant.

He sighed, shaking his head as he looked over the room once more.

Thanks to N’Jadaka, it was likely T’Challa would be the last holder of the Black Panther mantle.

Darke, I think you just illustrated the moments that spelled out his fate...

Nakia and her T'Challa 😭😭

Oh my god they think they're N'Jadaka's... like Erik Killmonger would hire a dozen ragtags and one military plane to finish off a wary Wakanda only days (from what I gather) after a deadly battle.

Oh hi Ev, our favorite Token White guy.

The other Token Whites are coming, don't you worry

EEEEEY CAVANAUGH

SHURI GETS TO SEE THEM ALL AGAIN

AND SHE FINALLY GETS TO MEET GHOST FACE TO FACE OH MY GOD THIS IS EXCITING

I love Boone being annoying right now, she's so cute

“If King T’Challa doesn’t recognize this face, then there’s a problem,” Boone mused, trailing her fingers over the scars that tracked down her face.

she's right though, how the hell do you forget a face like that...

“I’m not leaving my plane,” Jesse said before pointing at Ari, “And he can’t walk.”

“We are on plane full of super soldiers.” The Russian shrugged again, “I’m sure someone can carry him.”

Ari sent a glare her way, “No.”

YELENA

I'M DYING

and what do you mean full? There's only two of em

“Tell me someone else is seeing this,” you whispered, watching as the mirage began to fade.

“Oh, I see it,” Boone hummed, nudging you gently, “And I’m really glad you can see it too. I cannot be trippin’ balls right now.”

Don't be too glad. She hasn't slept in eons and she's arguing with voices in her head. As far as I'm concerned, she's not entirely reliable right now.

YAY Boone gets to hang out with Shuri and they can build her cool awesoma lab and they'll be best frieeends and oh my god the hell that those two can raise

“One of the first things you ever told me was—”

“Ghost,” he said quickly, “Nobody wages war with ghosts.”

OH I LOVE THIS

“Ghost is a woman?” a familiar voice shouted from behind the Dora Milaje. You winced back, cocking your head to the side before a smile spread across your face and Princess Shuri appeared beside her brother. She looked you over excitedly, “I do not believe in the gods but...Praise be to Bast! Brother—”

I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT

I miss happy Shuri...

I'm tempted to just skip over ollie's parts because I only want good vibes and he is the embodiment of bad vibes

Why is Ollie laughing at the thought of scaring random people at the street...

beyond deranged, this one

I feel like Ollie is constantly on the verge of just grabbing Novak and throwing him out of a very tall building... like these two cannot work with one another at all. They both clash and just prove disappointments to one another

“The question is: Is this new soldier stable? And can we bend him to our will, instead of hers?”

Stop asking questions. Those questions are scary.

The real most important question is: Why in heck are these two not giving up yet... I kinda feel bad for them, they're all exhausted

well... except for Novak... He seems well rested

Yay Alpha Two and their Wakandan Adventure: A Thrilling Odyssey

FINALLY my blorbos get a moment of relaxation. They deserve this.

“Wow!” Boone sighed from across the jet, leaning further against the window to get a better look.

“Boone,” you snapped, “Don’t touch anything.”

“Sorry.”

Boone being an excited toddler is always the best

“You could have come for help sooner.”

You shrugged, “Something we both need to work on, I guess.”

“Indeed.”

They're bonding. Two of my favorites are BONDING. I am literally vibrating with glee right now

RAMONDA 😭😭

HHAHAA the Gringos have come to bring their brother home

Boone and Ev:

Queen Ramonda, Daughter of Lumumba steals the show once again

“Mama,” Shuri said quietly, stepping toward the woman, “This is Ghost.”

“Ghost?” The Queen Mother blinked, “As in the masked madman that saved my Shuri?”

I love that she said that in English so Ghost knows exactly how she feels about her.

But then Duke akes the credit (rightfully so) probably with the goofiest grin, looking nothing like the madman Ramonda expected him, or any of them for that matter, to be

HOW DID T'CHALLA READ HER THAT EASILY

She and T'Challa are tied souls in that they are mirrors of one another in many aspects

it's great using the mirror metaphor in a more positive way now

For the most part, Hyde!Ghost was quiet in Wakanda. probably also in awe of the view

You helped him see the vengeance inside of him. And he used that to better himself.

So, what in the fuck were you doing?

Having fun, duh. That’s a stupid question.

Never mind, she jumped in quick

You sighed, shaking your head as you looked up at him, “Can you help me see it?”

it's like I can hear the hopelessness in her voice

Maybe I've forgotten some details in the past few months, or maybe Ghost is such a good unreliable narrator that even i'm fooled... but everything is kinda... falling apart from both ends isn't it?

Steve trailed off, following Clint’s gaze as it landed on a pair of redheads across the room.

Natasha and Walsh.

No fucking way.

NO THAT CAN'T BE HAPPENING

If he gets to Natasha then they're all fucking done for.

She’d hardly been able to sleep that night, the chance to finally meet Ghost and Libra and Agent Cavanaugh, after T’Challa had talked so much about them, was far too exciting.

If I were them, I'd be more excited about meeting the fucking Princess of Wakanda, probably the smartest woman on the fricking planet

They were primitive, that much she was sure about.

If it's HYDRA made, it's a lot more than primitive. it's barbaric.

AWWW YIS WE'RE GETTING CHARACTER IMPRESSIONS FROM SHURI'S PERSPECTIVE YEAAAH

The way Duke is still grinning like a child in a toy store...

AWW SHE NOTICED THE RINGS

The man’s eyes were a striking blue that darted everywhere, all at once. They took in everything, just like Ghost’s.

Not an entirely good sign... but ok

Poor Boone... how come they all coincidentally look her way when she's admiring something

Killmonger was just like them after all.

He was trained to destabilize governments, taught to kill without remorse.

They were just like him.

Oof... that's a hard pill to swallow

also, now I'm curious... what would M'Baku think of this whole situation? I feel like he's the only person in Wakanda who could wipe Duke's grin off his face.

“You fought him?”

“I tried.”

“Well, you’re not dead, so I’d say you came out on top,”

I see the bar is on the floor again...

Is Shuri starstruck?

The revelation that Ghost is a woman would definitely give her points in Shuri's book. I mean, Shuri grew up surrounded by awesome badass women, but it's still different I suppose, when it comes to women who don't come from the same place she did.

Also Darke we've talked about how Shuri and Ghost's relationship would be strained after T'Challa's passing, so I can't help think about that too, seeing the two of them get to know each other more like this

AND. BOONE.

How many other women has Shuri met who can keep up with her prowess when it comes to tech? I'm sure Shuri has received a lot of praise and credit for how she turned Wakanda into the technological superpower it is now. But considering Wakanda has been closed off from the world, she hasn't received that recognition from people who haven't directly benefited from it yet, or knew how advanced Wakanda already was before she came along.

Shuri must be beaming right now. This is recognition she most likely hasn't received before. It's coming from two women she admired, two women who were completely different from the women she knew, looking at her works as more than simply advancements for Wakanda. Like these are art.

OLIVER

TAKE YOUR EYES OFF PETER

Perhaps… Lagos 2.0. That would get her out of the way, at least, for a while.

the fucking audacity.

DON'T YOU DARE

HE'S TALKING TO PETER

PETER RUN

RUN WHILE YOU STILL CAN

“Show me what you can do, and I’ll teach you everything she doesn’t know.”

IT'S A TRAP PALADIN HE IS TRYING TO TURN YOU TO THE DARK SIDE

I haven't seen Star Wars in years so I might not be referencing it right BUT STILL

NO WAY

THAT'S WHERE THEY'RE HAVING THEY'RE COOL THERAPY TALK

Captain to Captain talk in a dingy old warehouse... and then King to Leader talk NEAR MOUNT BASHENGA!?

Hyde!Ghost is ruining the moment, let Ghostie enjoy her view.

“I wish you could have been here to help my cousin. But, I fear he was too far gone.”

Right... because she has more in common with history's villains than their heroes...

Now my question is: Would she be able to help Shuri, if she had been there, with Namor?

Oh my goodness, she's opening up to someone who is practically a stranger to her?

Either she is truly far gone , or T'Challa just has that way with people.

“I have many questions, Captain,” he said, “Many start with ‘Why are you here?’ but, perhaps, I should start with ‘How did you get here?’.”

“With a plane.”

Girl, you are so lucky you're talking to T'Challa. His patience knows no bounds.

DID WE JUST GET

A DANNY FLASHBACK?

A PLEASANT DANNY FLASHBACK

OF THEIR FIRST NIGHT TOGETHER NO LESS

DARKE YOU ARE SPOILING ME. DON'T DO THAT. IT'LL GET TO MY HEAD. (and other places)

— Danny laughed again, his breath whispering across your neck as he buried his face there, “I'm not afraid to throw your pretty ass out in the snow.” —

— “You think I'm pretty?” —

— “I think you're beautiful.” —

crying screaming throwing up dying

“Listen,” T’Challa said, pressing a finger to his lips with a sure nod, “In my culture, death is not the end. And, if you listen closely, you can hear them guiding you.”

“I love your crazy ass. You can do this. We can do this together. I love you, mi amor.”

gimme a second

how dare you how fuckin dare you

how dare you give her that sliver of peace and then

and then you follow it up with Bucky losing his mind, losing his trust in everyone including Ghost

NO NO NO NO NO

NOT HIM

WHY IS HE HERE

WHAT THE FUCK IS HE DOING HERE

DARKE

GET OUR BOY AWAY FROM HIM

Bucky rocked to his feet too, closing the distance between them with a snarl as he grabbed onto Walsh’s collar, “If you hurt her again, I will not hesitate to snap your goddamn neck.”

DO IT. DO IT NOW.

IT'S RIGHT THERE. JUST DO IT.

SNAP HIM LIKE A TWIG

AAAAAAAGH DARKE

I think this one's my favorite chapter... And it's mostly T'Challa and Shuri's doing.

But it could also be the most infuriating one (other than when Ollie revealed himself to be Ghost Wraith). He's getting his claws into every single one and it is terrifying.

I wish I had actually read Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde so I could connect those two with Ghost and her own dark side, y'know, so I can nerd out. But my god the way you write her inner thoughts and Ghost's thoughts, the push and pull on her sanity... oh it's perfect.

That little teaser for Origins too, hehehe I'm getting too excited.

Man I love this so much Darke. And you told me earlier that you had trouble writing Wakandans. I think you did a wonderful job on all of their dialogue, especially T'Challa. You captured his calming aura, his elegance, and his reflection of Ghost so so well.

My favorite part is Ramonda calling Ghost a madman and Duke taking the credit for that madness. We love an exciteable bean.

CHAPTER 85: WAR DOGS

To all my live reactors,

Please, please, please, hide your reactions under a Read More cut. I don’t want any spoilers floating around.

To all my Anonymous Avengers,

If you want to react in my asks, feel free. However, I won’t be answering any of them until at least Wednesday if they contain spoilers.

Thank you,

Darke

┍━━━━━━━━ ★ ━━━━━━━━┑

And, for a moment, a weight was lifted off your shoulders.

For a moment, the air was still.

For a moment, you felt the peace he’d told you about.

The stillness, the clarity, the calm.

The King broke the silence after a moment, “We have a saying here: Rain beats the panther’s skin but it does not wash out the spots.”

You glanced up at him, with a deadpan, “No matter how hard I try, I can’t escape who I am?”

“Something like that.”

“That is not helpful, your Highness.”

T’Challa chuckled, looking you over carefully before reaching over to wipe a stray tear that ran down your cheek, “You have to accept yourself. That is what I mean.”

┕━━━━━━━━ ★ ━━━━━━━━┙

» CHAPTER 85: WAR DOGS

✪ Bᴀᴛᴛʟᴇ Sᴄᴀʀʀᴇᴅ : Aғᴛᴇʀᴍᴀᴛʜ

♜♠ Tʜᴇ Sᴏʟᴅɪᴇʀ & Tʜᴇ Sᴘʏ

⧗ Tʜᴇ Rᴇᴅ Rᴏᴏᴍ

»Jᴏɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴀʀᴋᴇ sɪᴅᴇ Tᴀɢʟɪsᴛ

@thexbookxnerdx // @autumn-em // @fadingbakeryfarmoperator // @rhymingtree // @itsmeatballworld // @kippykasey // @turtleedovee // @kamalymaly // @onewithnomightypowers // @y-napotat // @riahmcq // @thequeenofthefallen // @jesuswasnotawhiteman // @fnnshelbys // @knowyourworth-sellyoursoul // @banbananas // @beans-and-toast // @violetvictoriabarnes // @oikawasblueearbud // @itsarussian // @mrsbarnesinmyimagination // @oopsiedoopsie23 // @luhuhzy // @heyimjustlaura12 // @moonlightreader649 // @petalren // @sighmurderbot // @soldat-petala // @useless-creature-213 // @xiyouchan // @kaiblog50 // @bookfeen // @nx-crisis // @aftermatharchives

***if you have a strike through your handle, it wouldn’t let me tag you 😞

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ofallthingsnasty · 2 years ago

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God damn, your mind's just so precious 😱😍😍😍 it's really what struck me when i finished your fic, you picture him sooo well ! You're right, dark is really canon for him and (lets be honest) he's basically a piece of shit 😅 but it somehow nurish my masochistic kinks 😳 (I admit starting playing rdr2 this summer and I havnt finished the main storyline but I will as soon as I have the time 😭)

You can count me in for your next a/b/o fic 👋 i'm sure its gonna be awesome 🥺💗

I loooove all the ideas you decifered in this !! Like it's brutally honest that despite everything that will happen Micah will never truely love you (that's what I think of him too) but he's a crazyman and I just picture him being super jealous. Like real dangerously so. Not just about reader, but like you kind of portrayed it in Through the Briar, he's also super jealous of Arthur and that's what makes him super explosive.

Argh, why the objectifying possessivness of Micah over the reader carrying his child is so hot 🥵❤️‍🔥 ?? I havn't thought about it but you are so right about the fact that he would have no shame droping hint that he slept with the reader in front of all the crew, and she would probably never tell anyone that he forced himself onto her beacause she would be so ashamed...

Being pregnant with his child would doom the rest of the reader's life, like I don't think she could escape him for long... But what if she had a little girl ? How do you think Micah would react ? I'm not sure but I'd say that he'd be more distant with them, and reader would have a slightly easier life.

I kind of have the impression that if she trier to escape him though, bringing HIS child with her, he'd find her and make sure that she'd be trapped with another baby of him, making it even more difficult for her to run away...

But back to the camp, I feel like everyone would be concerned by the fact that Micah slept with the reader, but I think the only one that would have no doubt about the fact that it was non-consensual would be Arthur. Like, he saw how reader never talked back to him even though he's been roughing her up and he des not trust him. At all.

But without confirmation, he'd just be extra careful when he's around.

Seing how other would interact with reader after they found out about Micah would be vers interesting ! And also really sad for the reader...

You seem to have already so many ideas : I really hope you'll someday elaborate all of them in a sequel or something 🤩✨️

I laugh so hard at your alternative timeline with Arthur, the sunset and the credits 🤣🤣 I'll keep it dearly close to my heart for emotional support emergency 🧡

Oh please do ramble whenever you want I loved that 🤣💖 also thanks for your reply, it must have took you sooo long, but I enjoyed it so much 😘

I'm really happy it made you smile this early in the morning and I hope it made your day brighter ☀️🌈 Take care 💕

Ps : I'm sorry to ear that you were expecting hate on your lil diamond, I get that darker content can be targeted but these are fantaisies, and as long as they stay this way, I think we can all live a safer world 🌷 especially if everyone read the trigger warnings and age limits ! Stay safe everyone 💚

I am SO sorry for making you wait this long for an answer, this week has been eating me alive so far lol. And thank you again! To be 100% honest, out of the whole VDL gang he is the easiest to write for me because he is imo very predictable. Arthur and John are hard asf for me - or Javier. Oh my god, I can't read that guy at all!! For some reason my brain just vibes with Micah in that way lol. And I only played until Chapter 4 in February and finally completed the game this summer, so kinda same haha!! I'll try not to spoil you!! 💗💗 And @ the masochistic side of you! Totally get it! I love to write about hopeless and bleak scenarios, it's super cathartic to me. And from the main cast, Micah is just the one who comes to mind when thinking about rdr2 darkfic (because I don't quite think that even low honor Arthur would go as far as noncon of a fellow gang member? Idk just my impression. And the rest of the gang is at best emotionally manipulative, but I don't anyone would pull what Micah did in through the briar.)

I so agree with everything you said!! If you were to have a little girl instead of a boy, he'd definitely be more distant. But we saw in his letter to Amos that he does keep tabs on the people in his closer circle - and while he isn't going the be father of the year 1900-1910™, I do think that from that point onwards, you're 'his woman'. I think he'd have no issue with getting you pregnant again and again until you finally have that little boy. Mind you, I think he'd drop you off somewhere and stop by every weeks/months, like Arthur did with Isaac. He isn't gonna be around 24/7, he has his gang stuff to do and you'd only be a hindrance. Imagine how humiliating it has to be to make up lies about your 'husband' to the very few neighbors you do have and then it's... Micah. And regarding escaping him: yes, a hundred times yes. Wherever you're hiding out, he'll go in, guns blazing, and make a whole show of shooting every poor soul there. He'd be absolutely livid, to be honest, and he's gonna take it out on anyone standing in his way and THEN you. I genuinely think he'd even slap you for it. Definitely chokes you out for a little bit until your eyes are bloody and you're frantically kicking at the ground for release. And then noncons you. Just overall a super bad, gritty situation for you, so... don't even try it. (There are also a few things to consider regarding the epilogue but I'm not gonna spoil you haha!!)

The camp reactions are super interesting for me to think about as well; either a sequel that picks up where I left off or the 'escape in the epilogue' would be cool to write about but I don't think I'd get that fic done until next year summer (which sounds shocking, I know, but knowing my writing speed and what is in my immediate future, it's, unfortunately, the truth 😭). So let me elaborate on here before I leave you to starve (😭😭😭). I think, at first, the women would be put off immensely. As soon as they figure it out, I think they'd judge you, even if just a little. They've spent weeks, months shooting him and his disgusting advances down and while everyone knows Micah is a snake, they aren't safe from that little nagging voice in the back of their head that thinks about the 'what if you did this willingly...?' thing. The most level-headed ones of them are definitely Abigail and Tilly, I just see Abigail as the type to immediately see what's going on, much like Arthur (back to him and the men later, though). Mary-Beth seems to be somewhere in the middle and Karen the slowest to catch on. I think you could genuinely catch some of her ire at first, with her dropping some snide remarks. I think she'd be kinda mad? Until someone either tells her off or you tell her (which. Is hard. Speaking from experience.) Ms. Grimshaw? Hard to decipher. We've seen how she gets when one of the women is in danger, but the problem with the whole aftermath is that it involves TWO gang members... And one of them is regarded very highly by Dutch. So while I think there would be little fire from her side, she'd step in between you and Micah, here and there. Ultimately, she has very little say in it all, sadly. Sadie is just on the sidelines. It's not like she doesn't care but she doesn't really connect with the reader-character from through the briar and she has her own things going on. So, in short, I am still rather optimistic about your standing among the women. I think they can empathize, one way or another - no matter what they think, in the end. They might look at you funny for a bit if they think it was consensual (and they might never realize it wasn't) but time will heal those little bumps in the road, I'm sure. But still; there definitely will be a few drunken confrontations between Karen and you and they won't end pretty. But I do think Abigail cares a whole heap. We know about her past and I think she'd lend reader a shoulder to cry on, if you wanted to- which in my mind- you don't. (Like I said, I think reader would turn very quiet and reclusive after that night.)

Now onto the men: Most of them do not give a shit, in my honest opinion. The reader-character isn't necessarily regarded as pretty nor is she very sociable beyond the other women. There... isn't much to care about, as harsh as it sounds. She isn't hated or disliked, she's just an afterthought, you know? Dutch likes you well enough and Arthur is a genuine friend, and the rest... Very ambivalent. I think Charles immediately knows there is something wrong, he can read you like a book. Does he offer support? Hard to say, leaning towards no. He and reader don't really have a relationship and it isn't his place. Hosea might figure it out, too. And I think he'd call you over for a little talk but, again, reader just... can't speak about it. And honestly, I think the rest sees you in a more negative light afterwards. They probably don't put much thought into it being consensual or not, as harsh as it sounds. John might care a teeny tiny bit but someone like Bill? Jeez, no. Get ready to be mocked openly, when the chance arises. And Lenny? Oof, I think he just kinda knows something is off but much like Charles, he isn't gonna broach that topic anytime soon (again, not his place in his opinion). Dutch straight-up goes with whatever Micah feeds him, no doubt. That you both were drunk and fooling around, if he's ever questioned about it. That you're just having some buyer's remorse, basically. And quite frankly, Dutch wants to gloss over this, he needs everyone together and not divided. So don't expect much sympathy there. Now, Arthur... Arthur immediately notices how quiet you are and how you don't come to sit by his side anymore. And of course, as the absolute oaf he is, he'll probably think he did something wrong, at first. Until Micah drops his first comment and everything just clicks. I can actually see a big confrontation there and Arthur absolutely losing it - but like I said, Dutch believes Micah and needs the camp to be a united front. The fact that you were drunk is perfect for Micah's side - and Arthur will have to submit, ultimately. And I genuinely think your and Arthur's relationship would break over this; with him lording over you like some man-sized guard dog and you needing space - I can see reader snapping one day and Arthur taking it the wrong way, only for both of them to gradually grow apart. I am of course pulling from personal experiences and I leave the explanation at that so as to not trigger anyone on here.

Also, the way Micah would drop his little hints in the first place- he'll definitely get closer than ever before, not touching you, but caging you in with his body so you can't quite leave (like leaning next to you, not that anime move lmao, but definitely invading your personal space), trying to spook you, excessive pet names and overall way, way more attention... Super loud comments to the other men (ew ew ew) and a dozen new little jokes about you. Just thinking about it makes me pull a face, ew. And you touch on something I haven't thought about yet: another man approaching reader/flirting with you. I don't think he'll step in and be like 'be gone, that's my woman' (lmao never) but he'd make the worst, lewd comments about how he got you into bed and how you enjoyed it, about how 'easy' you are. Basically both humiliating you and trying to shoo that feller away. Yes, he did say that he's more likely to despise the women he has been with afterwards - and I totally think that manifests itself in more verbal abuse and shame. And if you're pregnant, back to the above haha.

Thank you so much for letting me ramble again and adding your own thoughts!! I am so happy to talk about this, you don't even know. If only I had more time 😭💕 But better late than never, right? I hope you have a lovely day wherever you are!!

#ask #fairyincloset #/micah bell #/rdr2 #through the briar

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early20sfailingplenty · 3 years ago

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🎫 Here’s a gush pass! Feel free to gush about whichever f/o you want, however much you want, then send this ask to 3 other selfshippers! 👑 ~~ [Maybe if you want to do that for the Sinclair brothers❤️ Thinking of you and sending you lots of love🥺💜]

SUE OMG THE SINCLAIR BROTHERS😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 I hope you enjoy this ramble!!!! I'm thinking of YOU and sending you love!!🥺🥺🥺💝💝💝

I've let loooooooooose ~ here, so buckle up! I am going OFF!!😤😤😤

Ohhhhh Vincent. Pretty, beautiful Vincent. Vinny baby. I love him. The first Sinclair I fell in love with; I loved him before I knew his name, before I had seen HOW, the one I always go 'home' to, though I do love them all equally. But Vincent... makes me softer. If any of the three are gonna make me cry just by looking at me, it'll be Vincent. I love his brutality - I'm not saying this to be edgy or whatever, I mean I genuinely wholeheartedly looooooooooooove how brutal he is. It's so fucking sexy and I wish he would stomp on me the way he stomps on Wade and Dalton. Lucky fuckers died with Vincent looming over them, his dark hair framing his face, his solo eye bearing into them, drinking in their reactions, their final moments, his blades in his confident hands... he's so fucking beautiful. He really is. I remember the first time I ever watched HOW, I BLUSHED, hid my face in my jumper, cooed, 'awh'd, and grinned ALL AT THE SAME TIME and that was such a visceral reaction to have to someone I'd only just 'met' but loved for weeks prior to watching the film. But anyway, less about me and more about Vincent. I want to talk to him for hours. About his art, his medium, how he manages to do so much in such a short time, how he chooses his 'canvases' (victims), what he loves about his crafts, his hobbies, his relationships with his brothers and Jonesy, his relationship with me... if Vincent's mind is a pool then I want to dive right in to the deep end without acclimating myself to the icy temperatures first. AND WHEN HE GOT UNMASKED, I HAD THE SAME REACTION AS I DID THE FIRST TIME I SAW HIM, BUT I ALSO HAD A CALM SENSE OF "OH, THERE YOU ARE" AND I FELT THAT WAY SO HARD THAT I SAID THOSE WORDS ALOUD. I had to sit with them for a little while after that, film paused and fixed on Vincent's face. His face. I couldn't tell you why Vincent was the one I was and am so drawn to but maybe it's his... his power. He's quiet, he knows what he's doing and he ENJOYS it (and I love watching him fuck people up like yeeeeeees ~ honey go feral!!! Wish I could let loose sometimes, too😩). He clearly loves his brothers, he's Jonesy's Mama, he's passionate and dedicated to his family, Ambrose, his art... I wanna cup his real face in my hands and smother him in kisses until he shoves me off or cries. I wanna brush and braid his hair and then let him do the same for me - you know what that means to me, dear reader. I wanna curl up in his lap when he's working and go to sleep, knowing he has knives in his apron but instead of harming me, he'll protect me and keep me safe. I want to love Vincent and to be loved by him, too. When he shows up on screen, I smile so hard I cry, I can't help it. It's like nothing can touch me negatively when I'm with Vincent. He just makes me feel better and I wanna wear his jumpers after he's worn them so it's like he's always hugging me and surrounding me. I wanna hold his hands and hold his eye with mine and smile at him and call him pretty and beautiful and tell him all these things and good lorrrrrrrrrrd I love him so much.🥺 Many kissies for him.💋💋💋💋💋💋💋

Bo - omgggg ~ Bo!!! Bo my beloved!!! Ugh... Bo beloved. Bo-loved (he would SO murder me but worth it😤). Okay, I’ll stop while I’m ahead. To be honest, Bo TERRIFIED me for weeks after I first watched HOW. It was the raised voices, the snapping, the sudden movements, the predatory approach he has to everything he does… Bo just scared me so badly. It wasn’t until I had multiple in-depth discussions with several people here that I realised something very obvious: Bo is a human. He’s human and he’s hurt and traumatised; a wounded animal with a limb caught in a trap, consuming himself in hopes for escape, and from there I just fell in love. He went from being the one who scares me the most to the one I go to WHEN I’m scared… the duality.😂 He’s… I’m just sat here staring at the blinker key because how could I???? Quantify???? The love I hold for Bo????? It actually feels just a little bit pointless even typing this out because I could have all day to attempt it and yet I would still feel like I haven’t said it enough. I just love Bo. I would never wanna change him, I'd never want him to be anyone other than himself. He's so... god, I can't even. He never had a choice or a chance to be anything other than what we see in canon; he was so utterly destroyed by his early life, as were his brothers, but of course that's no excuse. It's only an explanation. I love his hair, the way it gets messier and more natural as the film goes on, as he loses more and more control. I love his eyes, his accent and the way his voice changes in every scene, as the ruse slips and slides all over the place because he and his brothers underestimated the kids. He's the one I go to when I need tough love. So often I'll open the freezer to look for dinner, and shut it with a, "eh, I'll skip." But then I'll picture that Look on Bo's face - you know the one - and I'll go back to the freezer and put some effort in. I imagine him saying to me, "m'proud o'ya, real proud, yeah" and giving me a smile and it makes me MELT. There's nothing I wouldn't do for a Sinclair to be proud of me, but especially Bo. Especially. Because it would have been truly earned; that would be my pride from Bo. He's the Sinclair it's hardest to get genuine affection from, so if I got Bo to say he was proud of me??? Erika.exe has shut down. I can't listen to his voice without squealing and making a fool of myself - anyone who's watched HOW with me on Discord's voice channels will know this. I wanna cup his face in my hands and tell him it wasn't his fault, he deserved better, and I love him, pretty beautiful man. I feel guilty for being so scared of him those first few weeks, but I try to make up for it with gushes like these. Would that I could tell him to his face, though (irl I'd never be so brave, but we can pretend). I want to love him and to be loved by him, to help him, but also, I genuinely wouldn't want to change any part of him. I love him because he's Bo Sinclair, in all his brutality. He's the one I want to have 3 AM conversations with. I want him to hear all the things I say to myself, repeat them back to me, and then stitch me back together with his own words and what BO sees. I want Bo to love me for me and I want him to show me how to do that for myself, too. In each other, we could learn to love ourselves... that's the kind of journey I want to undertake with Bo. I'm gonna fucking cry.💔

And Lester! asdfghjkl where do I startttttt with sweet roadkill man???? I had trouble reading him at first (Vincent really WAS the one I understood and connected to straight away; of the three, he's my One, though I love them all equally) but slowly, over many watchings, I came to get a good grip on him. He's sweet, though creepy, as blatantly perverted as his brothers (they all show it in different ways; Vinny didn't need to go so hard on those sculpture nips, Bo with his torture dungeon and all the sex toys on the walls, and Lester's blatant ogling of Carly), and he throws red flags in people's faces as hard as his brothers do. But, fuck, I love him. So much. I'm very sensitive to animals so I don't think he and I would ever have a chance together (though realistically speaking, I wouldn't with any of them because I can't drive, I live in the UK and everything and everyone scares me, but you know...😂😂😂), but I like to think he'd appreciate and want to protect me and my sensitivities. I love his voice, his sense of humour which is so dry he's the only one who knows he's joking, the way only he could pull off a dark orange shirt with a dark green cap, the way he has blood and mud all over his face. He's proud of what he does, he works hard, he does his best, he helps his brothers with the town and is just as fucked up as they are... I just wanna curl up in his lap and go to sleep. I want to hug him tightly and tell him I love him, to lick the blood off his face, to help him in all things and to encourage him with anything. To go star-gazing with him, have late conversations and midnight picnics just outside Ambrose. He's just... he's so, so beautiful, and he deserves so much more. The ending is horrific, he loses everything and everyone all in one night, apart from Jonesy, and I want to see him thrive and survive and live his best life. Lester is an absolute sweetheart and he's the Sinclair I'd knock on the bedroom door of when I can't sleep and ask for some cuddles. He's the one I'd let see me cry, the one I'd let hold me on the days I don't want anyone or anything to touch me, even my clothes (thanks, trauma). I want Lester in all his glory, in everything he is. I want to comfort him and help him, cook him dinner and get him to teach me some recipes too (I bet he makes a mean steak). I want to know what it means to be loved by Lester. In all ways - the beautiful, the ugly and every way in between.

I fucking love the Sinclairs, so much. I wish I could hold their hands and say these words to their faces, individually and then all together. They're a beautiful, gorgeous and horrific, sadistic family, and I want in all the way.😭😭😭

#erika sinclair #erika x vincent #<- comfort tags

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firewoodfigs · 3 years ago

Text

some of my favourite foods from the past couple of weeks 🤠

I took my booster shot last Friday and it was horrible LMAO. I had so much dread and anxiety leading up to it, because (1) I hate needles as much as I hate roaches and dentists, and (2) I hate that I can’t exercise for 2 weeks… I feel like I’ve finally settled into a routine of some sort, squeezing in a workout after work, and now I feel like it’s gonna get broken again 😫

I ended up spending the whole weekend slipping in and out of sleep and lounging on the couch, watching Peaky Blinders and Black Mirror with my bf lol. (I couldn’t even stand to look at my phone/computer very much because my eyes were burning 😭) Not my version of an ideal weekend, but tbh it felt nice to just idle around at home for once!! I honestly haven’t done that in a long while; it was refreshing to unplug from the world and just be in my own bubble for a bit.

I also finished reading the Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo last night and omg, MY HEART. It’s been a while since I stayed up till 2am to feverishly devour a book (on a Sunday night of all things, lol); flipping page after page frenetically just to know what happens next. The story was so riveting from start to finish. It was brilliantly paced. I wasn’t a fan of the writing at some parts, but there were some really lovely bits of writing that I absolutely adored (and flagged out with a little post-it hehe). It brought back so many cherished memories of reading till 5am in the living room after everyone else had gone to bed — I love that thrill of escaping into the world beyond those pages and forgetting, at least momentarily, the brutal one that exists around us, and last night rekindled a glimmer of that. (Of course, there are also those precious moments of reading an epic 200k word fic in the dark, under the sheets, at three in the morning… 🥰) anyways. It definitely inspired me to keep writing, too — something which I hope I can get back to soon! Work’s looking to be really hectic this week, but at least there’s a long, meaningful weekend ahead :)

It’s midnight here, so I’m gonna head off to bed now, but I hope you all have a great week ahead ♥️

#not fma #personal

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yeyinde · 2 years ago

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ahhh, this hurt so good!!!!!

I read this so many times while walking along the brutal coast this evening, and I can't quite gather my thoughts enough to string a coherent sentence together on how this made me feel. It's beautiful, haunting, and so filled with potent agony. I'm in awe - as always.

Angst x Price is my OTP, and you do it brilliantly.

I'm so beyond enthralled by this, I can't even express it outside of: etch this on my tombstone.

He fucks you like he hates you.

And you take it. Your own limbs remain wrapped around his back, curved to fit rippling muscle, your nails digging into the sinew. You could push him away, should you please, you’re far too familiar with this routine to kid yourself into believing he wouldn’t listen to consent. Fight and watch as he reluctantly breaks away, turning to less delicate vices; a Maduro cigar, toasted. Scotch with a water back, neat.

Both of these made me weep. It's so poignant and pretty while being so drenched in palpable brutality. and it's so distinctly Price, too.

But you cling to a sweet nothing he’d whispered to you once, crowded in the back of his old Audi Q5, his beard abrasive on the soft stretch of your neck, trailing desperate kisses.

Bloody christ. Can live off you alone, sweetheart.

GOD. I LOVE THIS. I'm also gonna need a follow up for the Audi Q5 sex, please 🙏🥹

(You now wear both his and yours on a chain around your neck. His embellishments narrow down to those dog tags, the ones that hang over you when you fuck – silver slips the only indication of the man beneath the uniform, a body to be brought back home once it’s been bled through.)

I'm only crying a little bit, I promise 😭 *hides bin full of tissues and empty tissue boxes*

You know he’d much rather find sanctity here, with you. But he bends under the perceived punishment you inflict, groaning when you carve crescent shaped divots into him; and it comes clearer to you than anything else.

His burden as Captain finds him far beyond the field. You’re just not made privy to it.

You let him express it in the only way he can.

This was so brutal, but so incredibly nuanced in its delivery. It packs a punch, and my angsty heart absolutely exploded with it! I'm in awe - I love the dive into their characters and purpose surrounding this so, so, so much!!!!!

But his elbow tucks closer to hide the discoloration, the gesture veering on childish insecurity. Though that conclusion rolls between your teeth; a pearl that won’t dissolve and is much too large to swallow. Things can never be so simple with John. He fits the world in ways you’ve spent your entire marriage attempting to figure out – like a sole jigsaw piece, made with no greater picture in mind.

Insecure John hiding his newfound flaws from his unblemished wife? Openly sobbing in my car right now 😭

The imagery of all of this is just so breathtaking and lovely.

A week after every return to his house, John finally settles and rediscovers home.

Ughh, all this angst all nearly presented with a beautiful bow fluff. HAAAH. My stupidly sappy heart was so overjoyed to read this line - I had to take a walk for a bit, and ended up sitting on the shores, thinking of this piece. Of this line. I pulled it up on my phone and read it over and over and over again until I couldn't feel the tips of my fingers and my eyes were glossed over with tears.

I love this. The hypothermia is preventing me from properly conveying how much this hit me in all the best ways, but just know it's absolutely stunning.

My new favourite piece!!!

a pearl

Still scarred; you don’t think he’s ever not been. Still scarred, yet vivid enough to accept a gentle caress he said helped muffle the phantom pain. He’d tell you the stories as you did (hardly ever pleasant), and you’d cherished them enough to remember.

But the John that pistons into you now does so with muted malaise, a concoction that clusters too heavy on his tongue to fully form words around.

pairing: Captain John Price x f!Reader rating: explicit (18+ mdni) word count: 2.5k summary: what follows bloodshed warnings: angst, seriously - angst, canon typical violence, gore, allusions to childhood abuse, lots of unresolved feelings, hurt/comfort, a happy ending (the bare minimum), rough sex, marking, p-in-v notes: i have nothing to say for myself. there's no plot, just vibes. sorry (not). very much based off the mitski song of the same name.

It starts a little something like this–

Moments caught in the rhythmic flicker of a bedside lamp; golden, dim, dark. Golden, dim, dark. Pink flesh, blushed in foreign warmth, mottled in crops of chestnut hair you can’t help but run your fingers through. It’s sticky when it presses to you, slicked in half-dried sweat and the brine of a sour mission. You lick the salt from his collarbone, trying your best to place a firm kiss to it against the bludgeoning thrust of his body.

He fucks you like he hates you.

Not always. No.

But tonight, and in that perennial week that trails behind him when he comes home, he does. He finds you, supple enough for the two of them, with a restrained agony swimming in florentine eyes. It bleeds into blunt fingertips (calloused, too. Barnacles that rub rough on your breasts), staining you across the chest. You feel it in your lungs, scraping bone to marrow, your ribs a collapsible cage of sponge. And with the way he bears his weight on top of you, you think you just might.

It’s entirely too much, violent in a way you don’t find behind a plate carrier, the heavy security of a gun in your arms. Vulnerable – some crushed flower, one might say. Ripe with gallons of water at its centre and nothing to use it on. You’re plucked, right off your stem, your petals caught between teeth.

His hands stay planted on your hips, pinning them down to a sleep-soaked mattress while he plunges into you. One, ten, fifty times – years together and you’ll still never grow used to how thick he is. His cock is splitting, cleaving your cunt into two halves, filling you until a mushroomed head meets the gummy wall of your cervix. It falters then, nestled in that sweltering heat, before pulling back out to bruise you again.

But you cling to a sweet nothing he’d whispered to you once, crowded in the back of his old Audi Q5, his beard abrasive on the soft stretch of your neck, trailing desperate kisses.

Bloody christ. Can live off you alone, sweetheart.

It had held some semblance of truth then, caught under bad weather with the sky open to the heavens, a great cataclysm of rain pelting down on the car. A revenant vow, no witnesses; something for just the two of you until the day’s promised wedding – a novel, diamond-encrusted band, thin on your ring finger.

Younger. You remember it distinctly; right out of SAS training, his skin a canvas for memorised marks. You’d been able to map each one to its source; rings of red concentrated at the wrist, cigar shaped but not self inflicted. Silver lines on his knees, founded atop the Brecon Beacons from his long drag assessment. Scabbed knuckles that never seemed to heal, not since he’d punched through a concrete wall the night he decided to leave home.

But the John that pistons into you now does so with muted malaise, a concoction that clusters too heavy on his tongue to fully form words around. You imagine it tastes bitter, bitter and much like the ichor that blooms to your cuticles. You don’t expect him to reel those horrors back with him – the sight of a dead mother after his executive order to shoot all potential hostiles. You know he’d much rather find sanctity here, with you. But he bends under the perceived punishment you inflict, groaning when you carve crescent shaped divots into him; and it comes clearer to you than anything else.

His burden as Captain finds him far beyond the field. You’re just not made privy to it.

You let him express it in the only way he can.

It goes a little something like this–

You don’t ask, despite the named tension that floods the chilled bathroom.

He lets you shower first. Actually, almost commands you to, murmuring the words into sex clogged air while he cradles your quivering thigh. He waits until you find your strength again, nudging a tear away from your cheek with restrained tenderness. He guides you while you make your way, his touch smoothing from the small of your back to your shoulder, where it clamps down to steady you.

You can’t pinpoint the expression that twitches beneath his moustache as he does. It’s much too complex under the varicoloured delirium that clouds you. You see, you hear, you feel and smell and taste the oceanic headiness at the back of your mouth, yet none of it crackles back to your synapses where you can properly process his disquietude.

So, you whimper a little asseveration in place, the sound of it lost amidst hissing pipes when he sets the shower for you.

I missed you.

Maybe he doesn’t hear it. Maybe it’s drowned in the same chasm that eats him alive. But his eyes catch yours before he turns to leave, and they flicker with the light reflected off the faucet. Or, you’re tricking yourself, and it’s recognition of something he can’t reciprocate.

By the time it takes you to clear your throat, he’s gone – off to his spot on the balcony, no doubt, stretched on an armchair you’d bought especially for him. You’d set a Maduro box on the coffee table between his seat and yours.

And you can smell it on him when he returns.

He must time it so you’re already out when he comes to wash up. You check it on the watch he’d discarded by the sink – forty five minutes to the second, a gratuitously long stretch to press on sore legs, but the water had been nice. He’d known the exact temperature to turn it to.

(He used to avoid the spray during your times together, too.

Any hotter, eh? It’s barely blistering.

You were the one who insisted on joining.

And kneaded your reddened flesh when you asked him to moisturise your back.)

His baths are militaristic in comparison to yours – he’s always in, soaped, and out before you get to your hair. You’d teased that he does it to avoid those grim thoughts that taint deluge silences – the ones no one is immune to. Perhaps you’d been on the mark.

So, you don’t ask. But you try and bear through ten more minutes upright, standing in front of the mirror, a towel around your bust, untangling the jewellery that’d been neglected in his absence.

You hardly get through your wedding chain when he finishes, picking at the same stubborn knot.

“You’ll get sick,” John gruffs, padding up behind you. You move over for him to reach the towel rack and pointedly avoid the large mass in your peripheral, hanging between thick thighs, nested in chestnut curls.

“If rearranging my guts wasn’t enough to ail me, then what harm can a bit of cold do.” You jibe. He gives you a grunt in response, tucks a corner into the wrap around his waist and sticks his hand out.

“Let me see that.”

You blink, looking up at him for a split second, before handing over the chain. The bathroom provides a brighter luminescence than the glow of the hazy bedroom.

It’s then you notice a hardly healed cut on his shoulder, sutured with black stitching.

And one on his chest.

And leg.

A purpling bruise, stippling the expanse of his abdomen, furling over the side of it to darken into black.

You’re caught like that – staring, hands at your chest – for far too long. If he realises, he doesn’t say, pulling at gold strands until something gives.

(You cut yourself to suit it, sometimes. He changes shape before you can catch up.)

The action is an inclination you can never fully acknowledge, then; not until it’s you racing to see what can heal first – your body, or your mind. So you single in on the bulk of his arm instead, expanding thew with the movement, choking back the stone lodged in your chest. It becomes easy to lose track of time like this, returning to your perpetual dysthymia.

You’re only snapped out of it by the smokey gravel of his voice, somehow simultaneously full-bodied and edging on a whisper. It pops like wet wood on a campfire, seething with an undercurrent of resignation, like it’s aware of its failure to fully fuel the kindling heat.

(You still feel it though; like a deafening salvo in the chamber of your hollowed gut. Butterflies turned gunpowder. It holds the same effect.)

“Here.”

And he hands you your necklace back, unravelled.

Brushing your teeth, you point to the hickeys decorating the column of your neck, then at his own wounds.

“Look, we match.”

His reflection tenses, the razor pulling away from his jaw. John opens his mouth – knuckles blooming white, clutching the edge of the sink – then snaps it shut upon scanning your foamy grin.

He goes back to cleaning his mutton chops, his lips pursed in a grim line.

Maybe you should’ve stayed quiet.

It ends a little something like this–

Moonlight filters through sheer curtains, ballooning with the tranquil breeze. You left the window open to allow some air while he finds his rare sleep.

You’re usually the first to knock out, but you stay awake on certain nights, these nights, stuck on vigilant duty against forces you can’t quite keep at bay. You know where he keeps his guns – taped to the sides of dressers or under a chair. They aren't anything you need. No. Now, you weaponize your hand, spread flat and smoothing over a coarse head of hair. You brush the strands that stick to his sweaty forehead and pull down the duvet when you notice his continuous battle with the heat.

Then, the nightmares start.

It’s subtle at first. No stranger would notice.

You cradle his forearm and his pulse quickens under your thumb. Doldrums, a war cry. His body thrums with awakened adrenaline as his pupils thrash behind fluttering eyelids. It’s an unsettling tremor that vibrates through you, the mattress, the still midnight where things tend to find their peace. You bite your lips through it and hope the worn-film memories go easy on him.

His breathing breaks into a stuttered pace. He’d forgone a shirt, clad in just plaid bottoms, and his chest gleams with a thin layer of cold perspiration. It shakes with him, rapid inhalations, his lip twitching while his body tries to regulate the instinctual fear. Your touch never leaves his head, your other, freer hand wrapping around twitching fingers.

And so begins the paralysis. The purgatorial state where nothing exists outside of stifling sheets and the distancing sounds of fusillade. You can tell when he comes to uneasy wakefulness – wavering in and out of a fight long since filed away in manilla cabinets – when his digits go rigid underneath yours. He gasps in one final, drawn-out convulsion, assured in his survival, before his eyes snap open to the present.

He grabs your wrist and flips you over in the split second afterwards.

You can’t help the scream that pitches at the assault. It’s not the first time this happens, but never has he been so quick to act.

“John–”

“Fuckin’- Fucking hell.”

His inflection warbles, still a victim to whatever profound helplessness overtook his dream.

“Are you okay?” You lament into the scant space between you. His nose brushes yours. You can feel the red-hot distress radiate off him in waves.

“Y-You… Affirm– Yes. Yes, I’m solid.” Though his eyes don’t meet yours.

You nod. He doesn’t let go of you.

“Water?”

“Scotch.”

“You’re not going back to sleep?”

“No.”

He flinches when you caress his cheek, brushing over wrinkled crows feet.

“You need your rest, John.”

“You haven’t slept, either.” The reaction holds more venom than he likely intends. You use the lowlight to memorise the way he appreciates his anger, the hissed admonishment echoing back with full force. Before his brow can crease again, you place a tentative peck to his chin. His jaw ticks at the movement.

“I will if you do, yeah?” He doesn’t agree, but his shoulders drop with an exhale. “Let me go, I’ll fetch a bottle for you.”

His face bows, a retired concession. It’s a side of him you hadn’t had the privilege of seeing, not until your first morning together, post-honeymoon.

(I have to go, love. My flight’s in an hour.

Stay. Just ‘till I fall back asleep.

He had.)

You’d miss it if you had stayed basking in the thought. His lips, chapped and bitten and cracked, brush over your knuckles when he pulls away.

You smile like a fool on your mission for refreshments. And, on your way back from the kitchen, you clasp over the rings on your necklace. An old habit, a happy tick.

(You almost drop the water when you feel only one; your classic, round diamond ring.

But you find his adorning his finger when his left hand reaches for the bottle.

You hadn’t noticed he’d taken it off the chain.)

The next morning, he tells you about Serbia and the calamity that brought upon new disfigurements. He grieves it in between thrusts, burrowing his head into the crook of your neck, his grip unabashedly bruising on your breasts. So we match, he echoes.

Still scarred. Always will be. But he dives deep into the personal upon remembering the comfort in your low hums.

(Your nails circling the marks on his palms - he’d told you about his dad two years in.

It helps.

What does?

When you trace over them like that.)

A week after every return to his house, John finally settles and rediscovers home.

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