#the weather is so beautiful rn and I'm sad that it's going to go back to like 95 degrees this week

[cyberstudious]

sunday, september 8th, 2024

highlights from this weekend:

taking a walk to the library and having a study date with my partner

slowly but surely catching up on the TAZ graphic novels

eating good food :)

finishing the chapter 7 labs in Practical Malware Analysis (I totally missed all the important bits of the third one, but the authors did say this was the hardest lab in the book so far 😅)

enjoying the beautiful weather and going birdwatching for a bit (fall migration has started! there are so many birds out rn omg)

[snowandwolves]

lengthy ask anon here - i am currently freezing bc holy shit what is going on in the states rn negative degree weather sucks. also! i had to change my alarm and there was a windchime option which made me cackle lol

i hope this week is less stressful! and yes, therapy is the answer to everything lol well that, and the beautiful images you put in our heads bc the image of bea planning a surprise birthday party (and being huffy at her imperfect cake that ava thinks is perfect) my heartttt

speaking of cold - just how cold does it get in that town? curious if you came across that in your research

i love the thought you put in to choosing patatas bravas! does bea have a favorite food? also does she have a favorite food amongst ava's repertoire?

i was rereading and in chap 3, ava asks bea if she's ever been arrested (i still love the fact that she got into a bar brawl lol) but has ava ever been arrested??

also in chap 5 (storm scene, my beloved!), bea asks ava what she's afraid of (and hard agree, cockroaches - the flying ones esp - are fucked up) but what's bea afraid of?

do you have a favorite pun from the lighthouse au?

i'm gonna go make hot chocolate, too cold for iced hot chocolate but i will pretend i'm somewhere warm enough to have that. sending you good vibes and uneventful days!

me [living in a tropical country]: negative degree weather 🥺

hi lengthy ask anon, i have no idea how long it’s been 💀 lost all concept of time the moment 2024 decided to press fast forward akdbskd but i’m alive and still happy to answer questions!

1. negative 20s if i remember correctly! i had no idea how to write that kind of weather so i set it in… spring 😂 which is when i also started writing it. had to bookmark the weather of the location lmao

2. i tried to pinpoint a favorite food for bea, but i made myself sad doing it skdbs cos i was trying to go back to her childhood and then went “wouldn’t the food be tasteless if she’s having meals alone or with a family like that?” 😭 why am i like this 😭 but as for ava’s menu, i’d say she’s partial to anything they can make together because,,, soft gay lmao so nothing too complicated bec bea in the kitchen is a disaster waiting to happen. omelettes? bacon and waffles? literally anything even a 7-year-old can help with 💀

3. FOR STREAKING DEFINITELY 😭 dunno why but it’s the first thing that popped in my head

4. skin-deep level? worms probably. just because they wriggle and because she absolutely hates accidentally touching them 💀 soul-deep level? rejection. too many times from too many people just sows that in you ajdhsjd also storm scene, also my beloved, i waited so long to write that [sigh]

5. i was gonna say “legen-dairy” before realizing that’s a whole other fic (i’m fine obviously) but for lighthouse au, i think “it shore is bea-utiful” just because it was an all-in-one 😂

[lifts my mug of lukewarm coffee bec it’s too hot to drink boiling liquid] cheers lengthy ask anon. i hope the hot chocolate was warm and sweet 🥹 and i hope you’ve been having a good month!!!

[belle-keys]

thread of me screaming into the void while reading The Burning God by R.F. Kuang (conclusion to The Poppy War)

WHY IS THE GENOCIDE COMING TO RIN SO EASILY LIKE MOM I'M SCARED AND YOU'RE TORCHING HOES LEFT RIGHT AND CENTER HELP

YALL RIN IS BATSHIT CRAZY AT THIS POINT

I love Venka :(:(:(:(:(

okay but Daji I absolutely agree that Kitay and Rin should sleep together so-

nezha is back… and he’s evil and hot… but all I can think is how the villagers were celebrating and dancing and thinking they were liberated before Rin’s homeplace got immediately bombed… again...

“Because you’re pathetic. You need to be someone’s dog. You need someone’s boots to lick.” AHHHH ALTAN

are we GOING to talk about the incredibly erotic and angsty polyamorous relationship Daji, Jiang and Riga clearly have because there is so much material here-

WAIT PLEASE THIS IS THE BEST THING

SAME THO

ngl the cannibalism shocked me and I didn’t think there was anything left to shock me anymore so-

i need a Riga x Jiang x Daji fic before shit hits the fan btw

i’m gonna make a guess that Hanelai is Rin’s mother because that makes sense and by extension I'm like 80% sure that Jiang is her father

“The great empires of the waking world were driven so mad by what they had forgotten that they decided to slaughter the only people who could still dream.” I’m crying

yin riga is a dilf isn’t he

okay wait he’s also an abusive manipulative bastard (but if this were a Pen Doug novel I would be reacting to him quite differently)

*snorts a line of xans* THIS ONE’S FOR YOU RIN

I’m not even kidding like the moral of the story is that we should absolutely do drugs

THEIR POWERS THE NEW SHAMANS HAVE SUCH BEAUTIFUL AND BADASS POWERS LIKE THEY’RE REALLY BUILDING A NEW CIKE OMG THE HAIRS ON MY ARMS RAISED THIS IS SO TERRIFYING BUT BEAUTIFUL AHHHHHHHHHH

LIKE MY MANS CALLED THE FRICKING TORTOISE MANNNN

“You were always such a fucking coward.”

okay so I’m guessing he’s not her father then… RIP Trifecta, I will honor your memory with smutty headcanons

I LOVE KITAY SO MUCH HE MAKES ME WANNA SOB LIKE HE IS???? PERFECT%)@()()!

“He’ll be fine, she thought. Break a few more cities, and it’ll feel routine.”

my girl is not okay like she really isn’t but that’s the whole point and yet it makes me so sad

The Poppy War is like if the first 30 minutes of Saving Private Ryan was a book trilogy

“Overnight, she had become as close to a god as a mortal could be.

I’ve reached behind the canvas, she thought. And now I hold the brush”

Bitch I’m terrified

“I am the end and the beginning. The world is a painting and I hold the brush. I am a god.”

IM SO SCARED RN

VENKA

VENKA

VENKA NOOOOO

WHAT THE HELL

WHAT THE WHSJSOALSJSJ

I CANT. BSGSGAHAJAJJA

DUDE DNISOSSOAOOOAOAOWSRING VENKAAAAAAAAAAAA

SRING VENKAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHANHAHHHHHHH

we’ve reached the “horrific famine” part of Chinese 20th Century history and I am so spent (ALSO IS THIS AN ALLUSION TO MAO?????)

“How else did you stoke the masses, except through fear?”

Rin baby…

Yall… Rin is a goner… she’s… no. Rin. No.

This is the last straw. Kitay is the last straw.

“Take what you want, it said. I’ll hate you for it. But I’ll love you forever. I can’t help but love you.

Ruin me, ruin us, and I’ll let you.”

IM LITERALLY SHAKING IM AHAKIJGNGSG IM SHAKIFNG

She made the ultimate sacrifice in the end. I can’t move.

“He didn’t know how he’d weather what came next, but he had to try.

He owed it to her to try.

Nezha lowered Rin’s body to the ground, stood up, squared his shoulders, and awaited the coming of the fleet.”

Nobody talk to me. I haven’t felt such strong feelings in years about a fantasy book. This was… amazing doesn’t cut it.

Frick.

I’ll never recover from this.

[colour-outside-the-liness]

Oh wow, you two have been friends for a long time then! I know what's that like, I've known my best friend who lives in Spain since we were 8! Definitely awesome to have someone like that in your life. Are you still going to be roommates when the baby comes? And that was really thoughtful of your ex making sure you didn't travel alone.

Canada is really cold tho, so if you're okay with that you should def move there! Ah well, I'm doing better now so that's what matters, all the horrible worries I had when I lived back home are gone atm.

Yeah, that's the spirit! you can do all US states even if it takes you 43 years, that's plenty of time! hahaha And your welcome, it's one of my favourite fics.

Your mind is great, don't worry. At least something good came out of it haha.

Oh so people make her a pisces then, I see. I've met a pisces who was kinda like Dani once so that's why I said she has that kind of energy, but she def has fire on her chart too. And yeah I can see some virgo traits in her, but she's very sensitive and a bit naive so I guess pisces makes more sense.

I had to look up what a badger was hahaha never heard of them before.

I'm sorry you had to go through that. Sounds scary. And you still have to take medication bc of it. The threat of catching covid must've made that 10x worse too. And I can only hope to learn from my mistakes at the very least.

People who made thobm are fucking savages tbh hahaha. 😂 Kinda wish they had cast Oliver as Jamie like they originally intended but then we wouldn't have our damie... don't know what's worse honestly.

Oh Yorkshire accent is pretty cool too, isn't the lead singer of the Arctic Monkeys from Yorkshire? Honestly think all the language variations and different accents that come with each region are really fascinating. And that happens with all languages, not just English. Wish I could speak all languages in the world, that would be a cool superpower! I guess it makes sense you like American accents more bc it's so different from yours. I've become desensitized to North American accents just bc I hear them all the time, but I see how it would be more appealing to you.

Oooh I love that possibility of it becoming a real fic soon hahaha. Worst part of letting it cook is that I already have the finished illustration in my head but the transferring to reality part is not working rn. Wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy tbh.

You def had a busy weekend and start of the week! I have a virgo in my life rn too I know the struggle. Her birthday is this weekend in fact. I had an okay weekend thank you! Managed to catch up with that pirate AU you recommended and I'm already planning fanart for it that will probably never see the light of day haha! Are we going to have more smut this next MoU update? (need to know for scientific purposes 🔬)

Yeah we've been friends for years we met when we were 14 and are still friends now at 27 so it's been one of my longest friendships I have a friend that I met at 4 but we're not as close as we once were still really good friends but not best friends haha!! aww that's so cool that you guys have been friends for that long!! Yeah we're still gonna live together when the baby comes- we're looking for a bigger place right now to make room for the baby and her boyfriend (he still doesn't live with us yet but will soon.... *insert gif of Monica Gellar one friends saying "And now I have to live with a boy" while crying* Yeah my ex is a super thoughtful person and she just didn't want me travelling so far alone when I had never flown before because when I went to Paris with my college we drove there and went on the Eurostar and it took us 13 hours to get there but I had never flown before going to LA and I picked an 11 hour flight for my first one so she wanted someone to fly with me she's a very thoughtful person I LOVE the cold weather I am so sad right now because it's bene quite warm in the north of England I can't wait until it's like -3 degrees Celsius during the winter nights again so I am sure I would love Canada I am fine with it taking me 43 years if that's what it takes haha I just wanna hit all 50 states I think it would be so fun to do it and to be able to say I'd done it.  Haha thank you!! As long as something good comes out of it that's all I can hope for but there are times I've done things and people are like "And you're allowed to teach kids?" Like I can be really dumb sometimes haha.  Yeah I've seen a couple of fics where she has been a pisces I think with it never being said and with VP never saying what she thinks she is people have looked at her personality and matched it up to zodiac signs- a lot of the pisces I've met haven't been like Dani like I said but I do trust what people who know more about zodiac signs say because I know nothing and I just pick a random date each time so CBML she's a Leo and MoU she's a virgo and in SLS she's gonna be a Scorpio because that's just how I've done it haha but I really know nothing about zodiac signs other than what you have told me!! There different types of badgers there are honey badgers and they're more in America here we have a different type of badger and they look so cute but they are really vicious if they feel attacked or scared so try snd avoid badgers... more than that though we just have cows, geese, ducks, swans... lots of foxes but noting dangerous like bears or anything its a very boring place to live!! Yeah it is pretty scary but I just take everything one day at a time- I actually caught Covid last year because of how much time I was in the hospital having treatments for my condition I caught Covid and ended up in the hospital for a week while they had to give me loads of medication and blood transfusions and had to put me on a fluid drip because I was really dehydrated and that was really scary but luckily I was okay and now I am fully vaccinated so hopefully I won't catch it again. I think you will definitely learn from your mistakes I feel like some mistakes have to be made in life so you can grow from them Oh they were definitely savage but I love Bly Manor so much and I will watch it so many more times I can't wait for it to come out on DVD!! Like it was heart breaking but so beautiful and we got such an incredible wlw relationship from it and some great representation and I love that!! Would be interesting to see how it would've affected people had Oliver played Jamie though Yeah Alex Turner is from Sheffield which is South Yorkshire so again we have a similar accent but it's different because I am from further North but there are things that we say in a similar way because we’re from Yorkshire just different parts of Yorkshire... there are four Yorkshires: North, East, West, and South haha and all are in the north of England  Yeah I think that’s the case every where I think accents and languages are so interesting and I would love to be able to speak any other language but I only speak English in my school it wasn’t seen as being overly important to learn a language and I have tried learning them since leaving school but I struggle now  There are some American accents I love (Southern and Midwestern) so when I heard Dani speak I was like 😍🥵🥰 because I love that type of accent I have become desensitised to some American accents that are just standard ones from watching so many movies and TV shows but there are some accents that just make me do heart eyes haha  I am hoping it can become a real fic soon but I am struggling with some stuff but keeping hopeful with it!! Awwh no I’m sorry it’s so hard for you I hope it gets better soon that you’re able to get it onto a page!!  I have had such a busy weekend and part of the week had a bit of a busy day today too and looking after my niece again tomorrow not rest for me it would seem but it’s fine I don’t mind keeping busy!! Well happy birthday to her I hope she has a great day!!  Oh yay I’m glad had an okay weekend and that you were able to catch up on the pirate AU and that you already have fan art planned for it- even if no one ever sees that fanart!! No there is no smut in this chapter of MoU some implied smut but no actual smut- there will probably be smut in chapter 9 though because y’know... it’s me haha 😂 

[shiro-0197]

God no I'm sorry 😭😭😭 the way Tumblr eats all my drafts, and now your replies. (Someday I'm gonna eat Tumblr grrrr) that must've been so frustrating tho, I'm sorry love.

someday we could go to a country with Highlands together. It'll be super cold and nice. And the views would be really really pretty too!! WE COULD EVEN BE AMONGST THE CLOUDS >//< aww yes I hope you'll be able to try them soon in the future!! I died and had to stay in bed for an hour, (because my spice tolerance is nonexistent <3) but yeah I'm better now! Name is: "대박 ghost pepper noodles" the Korean word 대박 literally translates to "awesome" but— 😭😭

oh I see!! I hope school goes well, it's good that you're excused for a part of the day :D and aww I understand. Replying can be lengthy sometimes, so please please only do it when you're free and comfortable >:(( we're in no rush, after all :D

I was studying earlier too. and I texted my principal about the exams ( because apparently none of my teachers know anything about it, and I was so frustrated with everyone being so clueless ) she just replied with a : "hi Ariana, will let you know on Friday" like excuse me, ma'am. GRRRRR >:( STOP BEING CLUELESS.

awww that's okay!! I'm sure those prep slides were really pretty too :D aww that's sweet of you. some of my online friends sometimes sit in on my Leo events (if it's open to everyone) and it's pretty fun when they do (once, one of them had to talk for like, an activity and my club mates were like "SHE HAS AN ACCENT??". It was hilarious hehe) zoom is great for that reason, and only that. they're just ready-made slides tbh, I use canva :D

Shiro, love, you won't disappoint anyone, I promise you that. I'm sure your mom is more proud than you know, and from the way you talk about her, I can tell that she truly adores you. tho I also understand your worries. If you want to rant or anything, you know I'm here. And I'll just continuously reassure you of how amazing you are :)

that's my boy 🥺🥺 grr, you're so feisty, please imagine me holding a "you go, Shiro" sign everytime you tell someone to fuck themselves :D Laurent is indeed amazing. He's my favourite character for that exact reason >//< there's another character, from a book I read, just like that. His name was uhh, Kieran. And he knew so many different languages, and was just in general; super smart. I remember being so in love with him when I first read it (The title of the book is "genius")

HAHA. ikr. They're all hot, and most importantly; smart. nevermind, when I meet you someday we can cry over them together 😭🤚 pffft no offense, but being evil is hot sometimes 😾 (I mean, Kieran was evil. So's Moriarty :] and I am: a simp for them all)

aww bae that's okay 🥺🥺 your feelings are valid, and it's not wrong to express them whenever you feel like it. Grrr if I ever see your dad, he might be missing a limb >:( sorry, that was violent, but I get especially mad if anyone upsets someone i love )

exactly?? It's been a year?? Where's that blink meme where someone blinks and it's suddenly 2021. Oooh that sounds really nice!! Adding it on my list of things to try in March >.< Honey is really delicious. especially all those desserts which have a lot of them.

glad I made you laugh >////< grr my sense of humour is just so weird tho, so I'm glad you aren't freaked out by it.

KAJDKSJSKS SIR WAIT. There was an explanation for that u but I guess it got cut off in my notes 😾😾 IT WAS MEANT TO BE A Ü (smiley) but I was using my computer and I couldn't add the two dots above, so I typed "imagine the eyes" (but apparently that part got cut off and now it just looks like a random alphabet SKJSKSK IM SORRY 😭😭😭

I understand, the lack of opportunities can really get on one's nerves. But oh yes, Japan and Norway are beautiful countries. Apart from Japan, I've been really into Korea and Switzerland. The Alps 😻

grrr y'all have tough exteriors. But it's so rewarding when you finally get them down, tho I think, you guys have tons of other layers to yourselves. I guess that's just the charm, I find it endearing, because it just means there's a lot more than meets the eye :)

MY FRIEND MAKES FUN OF ME FOR LIKING PINK. HE TEASES ME MERCILESSLY SKSJSKSK (so I published a poem line in the school magazine to get back at him for it, because I'm petty like that)

that's so funny >.< There are two girls, and a girl and a guy, who share the exact same names in my class, and it's so funny because they're opposites of each other xD

he really is precious. The best leader, I would literally die for him, he's wonderful. yeah the book actually started out different, with them just being best friends. Best plot twist 😭😭 AWW

NOOO I'm sure it's cute, in it own way? :P tho that meme tho. LDJCJSBSKS. Don't worry, hehe, the character may be .... Unpleasant to look at?? , but you're not the least bit at all :)

how was your day btw? My day sucked ass and was literally the worst day in the history of uh, days. Yeah. sad. tomorrow will be better.

God, you're so adorable wtf. Marry me rn. AKDJSKSJS I didn't find it lame at all, (tho were you flustered? Because that was cute as hell xD) I love you too 🥺🥺

—☃️

It's okay, it's not your fault. We could storm the Tumblr building together or something..:3

Oh I really hope we can!!! I love cold weather. You can wear sweaters and hoodies and all that💞 and you have an excuse to cancel everything and cuddle up with a blanket or someone else😝

Im so glad you're better now!! Spice sickness or whatever is the worst😔 WBHDJWKX that's hilarious I hope I come across those soon! Let's see who wins😼

Yeah, about that, they started making us do after-class activities, which now leaves less time for the stuff I have to do .... which sucks . But I'm managing, I think, so it's cool xD yeah, I've always been kind of cautious about the timing, it's nice to have a little freedom now, thank you so much <3

Wow😭😭 our teachers usually have the dates set two weeks before the exams, we always recieve a message. Though I've been there, where the teacher have no clue, it's so annoying😭😭

Ohh, that's so cool! I hope I will be able to visit one someday. Though I dont think itll be too soon, but I'm looking forward to when I can😝 also that's funny, whenever I speak people go "he doesnt have an accent???" Even though I so obviously do. They just have no idea 😭

Okay..... that's the best words of encouragement I've ever received, I'm so touched- thank you🥺💘

Bwahah, that's gonna make my day every time 😭 Yeah, hes my favorite too!! He seems like a simple himbo at first, but the more we see of him the better he gets. (That sounds cool!!! I'm gonna check it out when I can!)

Thank you🥺 also, dont worry, I wouldn't mind that. I'd love that, actually, wanna go rip off guys arms together?

MZJXKGJJAKXKAKX IT'S ALRIGHT HAHAH, ITS REALLY FUNNY SO DONT WORRY😭😭

JSNFNMWMDMS IM GONNA MAKE FUN OF HIM FOR MAKING FUN OF YOU how could he . I will eat his eyeballs. Also I 100% agree with the poem and I'm glad you posted it. I hope some people thought about it.

Wow😭😭 its honestly so funny, because they're all so different and yet their names fit them so well either way.

Also, wow I feel so bad it's been almost a week since I responded😐 I'm really sorry. I've been writing snips of this message any time I could and yet it still took me days xD I'm getting free, though, so I'll try to respond faster now. I missed talking to you so much😭 thank you for your patience🤍🤍🤍

How've you been? I'm pretty good, tired but feeling good because I can finally respond😩 I hope your day went well. Love you!♡

[szivtalan]

8, 9, 16, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 25, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 34, 35, 36, 40, 41, 42, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 50, 53, 55, 57, 58, 59, 62, 64, 65, 70 (aside from Kagami 😂), 71, 72, 79, 82, 86, 87, 90, 91, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99 for the "Asks, why not" thing please? (Omg that's soo much, I'm sorry I got carried away ^^')

8) Your looks (add a picture or describe yourself)

Average height, bordering on short. Broad shoulders, thick arms and thighs, square face, slightly projecting ears (one pierced, one with a stretched lobe), bushy arched brows, thick square glasses, faded dark red hair, dark brown eyes, butt chin. I look pale and perpetually sleep deprived.

9) What do you/did you study?

I was in a teacher’s training program for English and Hungarian language and literature, and I’m planning to go back to school to study sociology!

16) What do you look for in a SO?

Consciously: understanding, fun, sweet, kind and accepting. Unconsciously: somewhat broken and in dire need of emotional help which I’m desperate to provide lmao.

19) Do you prefer serious and meaningful relationships or casual dating/one night stands?

Eh, u know, it depends? I don’t think I’m fit for a serious relationship right now, so I’d prefer casual stuff atm, but on the long run I do want a partner to share my life with.

20) What are your deal breakers?

Really obnoxious people, ignorance and bigotry I guess. And I’m not keen on someone pushing or disrespecting my boundaries, either.

21) How was your day?

It was good!! My bro, his girlfriend and my friend tagged along to get our (me and my soon-to-be sis-in-law’s) ears pierced, and then my friend and I got a loot of food. I didn’t exactly feel good enough abt myself to be comfortable outside, but I got a lot of random kindness and that was Nice.

22) Favourite food & drink

Food: teriyaki chicken and seafood pasta, drink: ginger ale and iced coffee

23) What position do you sleep in?

I sleep half-curled up on my side, but I need to toss and turn a little until I find The Best Position.

25) Your fears

The dark, needles, rabbits (I don’t even know, dude), the fact that I’ll die without having made an impact on the world, being spoken about behind my back, being a bad influence on my friends.

28) Any pets?

Not right now! I used to have two rottweilers around the house growing up, but they both passed away sadly.

29) What are your hobbies?

Writing, sketching, basketball, getting on people’s nerves, researching typology, watchin movies idk?

31) What was your last awkward situation?

Asjhdh the ticket control guy told me to “Have a safe trip” and I said “You too!”. This rarely happens to me tho

32) What is your last regret?

Not holding my friend’s hand on public transport. It was…right…there….and she already told me she’s more than comfortable with physical touch! I’m a fool! Everyone thinks I hate touching but I don’t! I’m just shy!

34) Do you believe in astrological stuff? (Zodiac, tarot, etc.)

Ehh. Kind of? As for believing, I believe more in ghosts, but I do see some patterns in different signs. I just try not to let it affect the way I see/interact with a person, because no one deserves to be prejudiced for whatever reason, especially not their date of birth. Tarot is just fun, and the cards r cool

35) Have any quirks?

I bite the skin on my fingers, scratch my acne, make my knees jump… most of it is just regular anxiety stuff tho so idk?? I do think I’m quirky, but there’s just too much weird stuff to list ‘em.

36) Your pet peeves

Cig/booze stink on a person, customers being rude, bigotry, interrupting other people… There’s quite some things that annoy me asjdgd

40) Last 5 things from your search history

Boku No Hero Academia, Hawks, duck emoji, Grumman fma, How To Train Your Dragon

41) What’s your device backgrounds?

My phone lockscreen rn is a beautiful KagaKuro fanart of them standing in the rain in yukatas, Kagami looming over Kuroko and shielding him from the rain and Kuroko reaching up to stroke his face; my phone background is an art of they/them pronouns tattooed on someone’s knuckles, their posture unsure; my laptop background is a screenshot from the movie Déva, of blue skies and a street lamp.

42) What do you daydream about?

…cu..cuddling,,my…crush……..

44) What's your religion/Your thought about religion

Short version: barf

Long version: I was raised catholic (even tho I was never baptized), and attended catholic school for 8 years which gave me a really warped idea of Christianity, Which made me a cynic & an agnostic or atheist by proxy. I harshly criticize the catholic church and faith but sometimes… when I do feel hopeless I get down on my knees and pray, so I guess if I let myself find my own faith I’d be a believer. But right now, I’m good just existing in my nihilistic bubble

45) Your personality type

Needy imeanwhat. In a typological sense, I’m an INFP in Myers-Briggs, 4 core 5 wing in Enneagram, melancholic or sanguine in the temperaments, et cetera. Basically I’m a sad daydreamer with unresolved issues and a need to do Art

47) Are you happy with your current life?

Nah bro. I like my friends and my workplace but I’d like to move out of home ASAP. I’d also… like to get therapy before I go and put myself out there.

48) Some things you've tried in your life

Playing the guitar, hostess work, weed, cigarettes, being blackout drunk, smoking from a hookah, cooking, football, handball, basketball, volleyball, cycling, sailing, driving, hitchhiking long distances, folk dancing, one-night stands, long-distance relationships, helping people in need…

50) Favourite colour to wear?

Olive green, midnight/navy blue, white, grey and black.

53) If you could change/add something to your appearance - impossible or not - what would it be?

I’d… like to know how it would feel if I had a flat chest and a penis? I also want bigger Guns, and Abs, some more tattoos and maybe an eyebrow piercing.

55) Do you get complimented often?

I think so? I usually brush off compliments uhhh but yeah maybe! Maybe idk

58) Songs you're currently obsessed with?

My friend’s playlist reminded me that ‘Phenomenon’ by Thousand Foot Krutch exists. I’m also really into ‘San Francisco’ by The Mowgli’s atm and ‘Golden Time Lover’ by Sukima Switch!

59) Song you normally wouldn't admit you like.

I mean, it’s not like it’s cringe or anything, I hate cringe culture BUT. I do have Ariana Grande’s ‘Side to Side’ stuck in my head rn

64) Can you sing or play any instruments?

I can sing pretty badly, play a bad tune on my guitar, drum on the edge of my table, so- Nah not really asdh

65) Do you like karaoke?

YES VERY MUCH I live and die for karaoke, last time I did it in front of an audience we sung the Shaman King opening at an anime con with friends, it was Rad

70) Your fictional crush/es

AH NO FUN Kagami’s my number one,,, let’s see then: Aomine, Roy Mustang, Kise, Mikoto Suoh, Hotch & Reid from Criminal Minds, Yagami Light, Jaime Lannister and Brienne from GoT, Rustin Cohle from True Detective, Shizuo Heiwajima from Durarara!!!, why is this list full of men I didn’t think I liked men this much

71) Which fictional character is you?

Eddie Brock from Venom I mean? He’s a whole ass mess.

79) How much time do you spend on the internet?

Yike. More than I’d be proud of.

86) Would you use death note, if you had one?

No way dude. I don’t fuck with that shit, karma would fuck me right back.

87) What changes would you make in the world, no matter how impossible, if you had the power to?

I’d eliminate money and power and just make it a huge peaceful hippie community or something idk

90) What would you want to happen to you after your death?

Donate me to a medical school I don’t care. Make use of me! I’m gonna be dead, I won’t have any more feelings left to be hurt or anything asdghdsg

91) If you had to change your name, what would be your pick?

I’ve had a name in mind that I tried out once, but it didn’t really work out for me after all. I’m fine with Vee and Vic rn. Anything that isn’t my given name. I do want to change my surname to my mother’s, but if I do that I also want to give myself a different first name, and since That isn’t figured out yet, I’m just?? Call me whatever dude

94) Write 3 things about yourself - only one of them must be true

Ugh, I’m bad at these. 1) I have plenty of moles. 2) My eyesight is pretty good. 3) I’ve broken some bones before.

95) Cold or hot?

Cold in beverage, hot in weather.

96) Be a hero or be a villain?

Being a villain is way too much fun, but I have too strong of a conscience to pull that off, so… hero, I guess.

97) Sing everything you want to say or rhyme?

Asjhdf singing is funnier and more annoying, since I Cannot Sing

98) Shapeshifting or controlling time?

Dude I’m non-binary. Shapeshifting for Sure

99) Be immortal or be immune to everything aside from natural death?

Aight I’ll give in – I agree to immortality Just This Once.

[imaginethematsus]

Hey, how would the brothers comfort their and help their s/o through a hard depressive state? (I'm going through one rn and it is honestly the worst I have had in months)

This goes out to all of you struggling with depression and going through a hard time. (｡•́︿•̀｡) Better days will come.

Osomatsu:

He’s super excited to see you and probably has a million newstories and just as many stupid ideas to tell you about, but he instantly stopsgoofing around as soon as he notices something’s not okay with you. Hisexpression turns serious and he kind of contemplates on what to do for a momentwhen he sees you’re deliberately trying to avert his gaze, but he decides to gofor it anyway. Touching your hand gently, he starts caressing your skin withhis thumb and softly interlocking your fingers, and the gesture makes you lookat him by instinct.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asks in that sweet tone of voice,and he’s smiling at you, but it’s not his usual cheeky, playful smile. It’ssoft and full of love and also makes you want to cry for some reason. The factthat you’re not replying leads him to the conclusion that you’re battling yetone of those days again, but he asks if anything particular happened to makesure, as he leads you into a preferably empty room. He drags a blanket out ofthe closet and grabs his favorite snack from who knows where it’s the safest inthe Matsuno household. He insists on sharing it with you, regardless of you having appetite ornot.

Asks you if you want him to hold you for a while, and he either pullsyou up to his chest and lets you cry or just feel miserable as he strokes yourback soothingly, or just lays down by your side with the newest volume ofthe manga he’s currently reading to keep you company. Won’t really ask you totalk about it, because he knows at this point that there are no specificexplanations and you don’t know the answer either.

Karamatsu:

He had tried everything so far, buying you flowers, your favorite food, bringing you small animals (he ended up with bruises and scratches all over his arms), singingyou a song, writing you a song, etc.,but even though you smiled at him and told him he’s really sweet and caring,none of them seem to have actually… worked. You have to explain to him the feeling just comes and goes, and nothingcan really make you feel better, at least not in the sense Karamatsu thinks,and he listens intently, wanting to understand your struggles. He decides tostick with whatever can get you to forget about your current state, even ifit’s just for a little while, so expect him to continue to bring surprise gifts andshower you with love and affection.

He makes sure you eat and drink well, because “non, non, you have to stayhydrated, darling”. If the weather is great, he takes you up to the rooftop,accompanied with his guitar, and sings soft lullabies to you until you doze offin the sunlight.

He’s very good at making you feel loved and appreciated, andhe will tell you over and over how wonderful he thinks you are and how much youmean to him. You know that even if he whole world is against you, at leastKaramatsu is by your side.

Choromatsu:

He probably gets super anxious at the beginning of the relationship, because he doesn’t know what to do, fidgeting around nervously when youask him to stay by your side, and it probably makes you feel even more horribleseeing him like that, so he does his best to research upon the subject and tryto understand what you’re going through the logical way. When he knows whathe’s doing, he turns into a doting mother: reminds you to take your pills (ifyou take any), makes sure you have at least some food in your stomach, andfinds a quiet place where you can be alone together.

He offers to watch a moviewith you on Totty’s laptop, and he lets you get comfortable in his embrace, buthe will be sure to position himself so he could still reach your hand. Keeps holdingand rubbing it soothingly the entire time, and he will also glance at you fromtime to time to make sure you’re properly immersed in the story, because, hey,getting your mind off of whatever’s going inside your head seemed to havehelped him in the past, too.

Since he’s also struggling with irrational thoughts on aneveryday basis, he’s the perfect person to actually try and talk to about whator how you feel. He will be sure to prove you how illogical is what your brain iswhispering to you. Comes over to your place more frequently to see if there’sany housework he can help with.

Ichimatsu:

You’re probably the one who made him realize he’s sufferingfrom the same thing, and you’ve been even closer since. You taught himvarious ways of how to make it feel less terrible, and he shared you his copingmechanisms in return. He knows exactly what to do when he finds you in anotherreally depressive state.

Surprisingly enough, he is the one that tries to make youput effort into the smallest things, like eating a good meal or taking ashower, because he knows they will at least physically make you feel a littlebetter. Offers you a nice, long nap, the proper kind, with pillows and a futon,and he either holds you close or just flings a leg over yours and puts yourhands together, depending on how you’re feeling. When you wake up, heinsists you take a walk in the sunset. Jyushimatsu often drags him out when hefeels particularly shitty, and in the end, no matter how much pain in the buttit felt to even get dressed for it, he’s always somewhat glad he did so, andhe figrues it’s gonna be the same for you, too. You two hold hands as you walkalong the river, slowly, steadily, lazily, stopping by to pet cats on the way.

Jyushimatsu:

The first time he sees you have a breakdown, it completelybreaks his heart. Your smile and laughter means everything to him, and he triesso desperately to find something that makes you feelhappy again. He makes funny faces, brings you food, carries you around yourfavorite places in town, carries you up a mountain to show you a beautifullyblossoming tree, he would literally bring down the stars for you, but soon hehas to realize none of these will help with your kind of sadness.

After consulting probably either Choromatsu or Ichimatsu, henow knows how to approach the situation, and he comes up with a veryJyushimatsu idea of how to keep your company.  Whenever you feel so overwhelmed and terribleyou don’t even want to talk to anyone, but still crave human interaction andsome sort of validation of your existence, he lays next to you and draws. Drawshimself riding something that vaguely reminds you of a dolphin to battle. Drawshilariously hideous stick figures of his brothers and makes a funny story withthem as the protagonists. His art gets more and more detailed until it shiftsinto ridiculously detailed caricatures. You reply with your drawings or complete hismasterpieces, and it makes you feel like you’re a kid again, passing funnynotes to each other in class – it feels somewhat liberating. You two foolaround and laugh, even if it’s not a 100% happy laughter, it’s at least there.

When Jyushimatsu sees that ugly dark cloud get the better of you no matter howhard he tries to distract you from it, he brings a blanket and rolls both youand himself up into a burrito, and declares nap time. Just sleeping next to himmight make you feel a little better when you wake up.

Todomatsu:

He thinks about what would he appreciate someone did for himif he ever were in your shoes, and tries to act accordingly. For starters, hewould love to be pampered to death, obviously, so he, the spoiled littlestbrother, buys, or sometimes even makes you sweets, and does your laundry, andwashes the dishes and takes out the trash. Impressive, isn’t it? It makes Tottyhappy, too, because not only is he helping you, but he also feels like he’staken the first step towards independence.  

And secondly, skincare has never betrayed or disappointedhim, so he suggests you put face masks on and just chill with some drinks andstare at the ceiling or watch stupid talk shows you can make fun of. The nextstep is putting on makeup – if you usually wear makeup, then because of that,and if you don’t, then because of that. There’s no wrong time or place to be beautiful, Totty claims, and trust him, he’s got skills when it comes toapplying that foundation and mascara. He knows how to put on a killer wingedliner, and he can make it look feminine, masculine, or even neutral.

He snuggles up to you once you’re finished, scrollingthrough his feed on his phone and showing you all the stupid stuff and the cuteanimals, and you two end up watching funny videos until both of you doze off.