#the way their relationship evolves over the game :( the way he's 100% lying in the beginning but 100% means everything by the end :( | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

readyplayerhobi · 5 years ago

Text

Flower | 22

; Hoseok x Reader

; Genre: Fluff, smut

; Word Count: 6.4k

; Warnings: Brief mention of antidepressant side effects, oral sex (f receiving), fingering, sex toy use, insinuated sex

; Synopsis: You finally decide to take a dip into the world of online dating and find the Flower dating app. One of the top matches for you proves to be a guy who looks to be your complete opposite; tattooed, pierced, a metalhead and oh…incredibly handsome. What happens when you throw caution to the wind and reach out to him?

; A/N: I’ve half proofread this but I hate reading through smut again so...I hope you enjoy it all :) please reblog if you did and leave me feedback in the form of comments, reviews or other asks! I’m always happy to read your thoughts on the Flower couple and their evolving relationship <3

; Flower Masterpost

“Okay so...I know it probably doesn’t look like I’ve got you all that much,” You give him a disbelieving stare before eyeing the small pile of books and games he’d already gifted you. “But I got you one more. And I had to hide this because it’s very heavy and I didn’t want you accidentally kicking it and opening it up or anything.”

Watching as he stands up, his cheerfully festive Christmas Simpsons sweats looking very out of place on his tattooed body, he darts off to your bedroom. Frowning, you lean back to try and see what he’s doing, wondering how’d he’d managed to hide something from you in your own room.

He was completely lying because he’d gotten you everything you wanted and more. The new Final Fantasy game, the new Villainous expansion, some of the books you’d been wanting for a while and a few Eeveelution plushies to finish off your set. So what on earth would he have gotten?

It’s even more confusing when he comes back and you see the size of the box in his hands, elegantly wrapped in silver wrapping paper. There’s a pretty fabric bow on top with a tag on it and your brow rises when you see how hard he’s struggling with it.

That brow goes even higher when he sits down with a grunt, the box dropping onto the floor with a heavy thunk. Eyes widening, you stare at it before looking at him in amusement.

“Holy shit Hoseok, what did you do? Kill someone?” He gives you a smirk before cuddling up to you on the floor, gesturing to the wrapped gift with more than a little excitement. You welcome his warmth and idly poke his thigh as you eye the present.

“Nope. You’ll love it though, I promise.” Giving him a suspicious look, you look at the tag first and read it. Much to his amusement. Apparently he wasn’t one of those people who particularly cared about reading the tags, which had horrified you when you found out. Not that you’d written him any sweet notes or anything, but still.

Unsurprisingly, the tag doesn’t have some love filled sonnet on it, just your name and ‘love, Hoseok’. But he’d obviously shown his love through the careful presents he’d bought you, each one something that you loved and adored.

Smiling, you carefully began to peel away the wrapping paper where it has been folded, tugging at the tape until it came away gently. You feel Hoseok’s laugh vibrate through his body before actually hearing it, causing you to look at him in confusion.

“God, you open presents so neatly. It’s like watching my sister all over again,” His smile stays warm, growing even more affectionate. “She used to open presents like you do, as if afraid that you’ll ruin the wrapping paper or something. I don’t have the patience.”

“Gee...I hadn’t noticed.” Turning your head to stare firmly at the bag of torn wrapping paper next to you both, the remnants of what had remained of what you’d painstakingly wrapped.

He snorts before poking your side and nodding with his head towards the present that you’d only begun opening. “Okay Miss Sarcastic, please proceed with the present opening before you cut yourself on your wit instead of the paper.”

You do as asked, or instructed rather, and carefully peel back the paper. As soon as you have a glimpse of the box cover though, all care is gone as you gasp loudly and quickly tear the rest off. Staring down at the colourful box, you take in the words ‘Gloomhaven’ along the top before squealing with excitement and bouncing in place.

“Oh my god! Hoseok! Oh my god! What the fuck? This game is so expensive!” You’re beyond happy to get it though, as if your reaction wasn’t obvious and the amusement in Hoseok’s face is more than apparent. But you still feel a little guilty at the fact he’s bought you this alongside everything else so far. The two of you haven’t even been dating a year and you’re already feeling spoilt.

He wraps his arms around your waist before kissing your cheek sweetly, watching as you pull the rest of the paper from beneath the box and toss it to the side. It’s only when you go to lift the box that you let out a deep groan of surprise and effort, turning to look at him with wide eyes.

“Holy shit.”

“Yeah, holy shit. This thing was 10 fucking kilograms. I feel like I almost died bringing it here. And that’s with the freaking elevator. Open it up, I wanna see what’s in this damn thing.” Laughing, you let him turn the box upside down and use the scissors that had been brought over earlier to slice through the clear stickers that were keeping the lid attached.

Kasumi was currently playing with a ball of scrunched wrapping paper that Hoseok had thrown to her earlier. She had, obviously, been thoroughly enthralled with it and completely ignored the toys she’d been bought by Hoseok and you for her Christmas presents. He’d been thoroughly amused by that but you’d just shrugged and said this was what cats did.

Between the two of you, you manage to get the lid off the box that feels like it’s been vacuum packed in and sit back to admire the interior contents. Carefully, you lift the map board out and open it up, scanning over the intricate map with interest while Hoseok lets out a low whistle.

“Fuck, there’s a lot of shit in this box.” He pulls out a wirebound book along with a rule book, placing them on his lap before flicking through them with interest. Holding up the wire book, he looks at you with wide eyes. “Dude, this is the scenario book...it has 96 scenarios in it.”

Grinning at him, you peer over his shoulder and take them in before carefully taking the book from his hands and placing it on top of the now folded map.

“Yep. It may be expensive but you get your money’s worth at least, right? And you can’t look at it, it’ll spoil the game for you. It’s like an RPG game for a PC or console. You’re only supposed to find out what’s happening as you’re playing, so don’t go spoiling it. And apparently we can only only look at a certain number of characters and stuff. We unlock those through the scenarios.” Reaching in, you pull out one tiny box with what reminds you of a singularity on the top, opening it carefully and pulling out the tiny figure inside.

“This is one of the starter ones, a spellweaver. I want to be this one.” Hoseok takes it from you and looks over it equally as carefully before shrugging, his expression giving away that he was no idea what you’re on about. Giggling, you kiss his cheek and place it back into the box.

“You have no idea what I’m talking about, do you?” He glares at you as you begin to place everything carefully inside. It impresses you how well everything fits in, and you already feel some dread at the prospect of trying to fit everything inside after a few scenarios.

“I’ll have you know that I played and loved all the Dark Souls games.” Biting your lip, you try to contain your amusement as you slide the lid back on and simply admire the game with reverence.

“Oh yeah? Is that because it’s all gothic and hardcore. Did you git gud?” Your teasing of him instantly gets a repercussion as he begins to tickle you furiously, your laughs loud in the apartment and causing Kasumi to pause with her own wide eyes.

“Yeah, yeah I did git gud. Actually, I got so gud that I finished all of them multiple times. What was it you told me once? That you don’t like those games because they’re too hard for you? So...who’s the one who needs to git gud now?” He says, pausing his fingers from his relentless assault and giving you a smug look. Breathing heavily, you let out a quiet laugh before tracing along one of the tattoos on his arms.

“Me, apparently.” Pausing, you take him in before smiling with happiness, your stomach bubbling with joy. “Thank you. For buying me that, it’s really expensive and I can’t believe you bought me it! I’ve been contemplating it for ages.”

“I know. I’ve seen you look at it online often enough. Got me a little stressed when you almost bought it the other week. But I like playing games with you, I’ve decided. So...I got this one so that we can play it together. It can be our game.” Sitting back up, he reaches out and pulls you up with him as you stare at him with wide eyes.

Logically, you’d known that he’d probably have to play it with you as there was no way that Chungha or Soyeon would be interested in something as in depth and long lasting as Gloomhaven. But hearing him say that he’s spent well over $100 on a board game just to play it with you was something else entirely.

It makes your stomach go funny, just like he always made it, and you feel the fluttering of almost anxiety in your throat, making it a tiny bit harder to breathe. Not because you were upset or anything, but you just didn’t really know how to process the love you’d been blessed with from one Jung Hoseok. It was hard for your head to really comprehend that he genuinely meant every word he said.

“Are you sure? It’s supposed to be intense. And long.” Hoseok smirks at you, moving closer until you’re almost nose to nose. His warm breath, smelling faintly of the mint ice cream he’d eaten for dessert at his parents after Christmas dinner, fanning your face. You should be disgusted, but you’re not.

“I know something that can be intense and long tonight. And I wouldn’t have bought it otherwise.” Rolling your eyes at his obvious innuendo, you try hard to stop the smile that wants to break free at hearing him obviously trying to initiate sex. The two of you had agreed to spend the mornings at your respective parents' houses before meeting up here, opening the presents you’d bought each other and spending Christmas evening together for the first time.

Looking over his elegant features, you can’t help but smile as happiness fills you at the sight of him. He’s not paying attention to you anymore, instead having reached over to take one of the books you’d gifted him earlier.

Hoseok had begun to read biography and memoir style books lately, enjoying a wide array of topics. As such, you’d gotten him the entire back catalogue of Mick Wall biographies, which meant he had a whole stack of metal and rock n roll band biographies to go through.

At the moment, he was scanning over the back of the Metallica book with his tongue poking out of his mouth in concentration. The other pile included Lemmy, Guns n Roses and more. You’d be lying if you said that you knew half of the bands or whatever that were in the books but you knew that he’d love them all anyway.

And he had, his face lighting up with excitement when he’d unwrapped each one. It had been a worry that he’d find them boring or something, but instead you’d been given many kisses of thanks. Which had been rather delightful, you would admit.

You’d found it particularly stressful buying him presents for Christmas; panicking that he wouldn’t like whatever you bought or having anxiety that he would already have it. He’d given you a few hints to make it easier for you but you’d struggled over it still. As much as you loved him, and as much time as you spent with him, it was hard to figure out what he’d like.

Hoseok loved his music, but he already had everything he wanted in regards to that. There were no concerts coming up that he didn’t already have tickets to, he bought whatever books he wanted to read and he bought whatever films he wanted. Given he spent so much time at yours, you couldn’t even consider something bigger as he wouldn’t get any use out of it as he spent so much time with you and there wasn’t space in your apartment.

Why was buying presents for men always so much harder? And on top of that, you’d had to dissuade him from buying anything that you’d already bought him. Because he was like a cat whose eyes went wide when he saw something he wanted. That had been the case with the James Bond Blu-Ray collection you’d gotten him as well.

It was limited edition, and he’d spotted it online a week after you’d bought it. It had taken some careful persuasion to make sure he didn’t buy it, along with a lot of internal eye rolling.

“Did you like everything?” You don’t realise that there’s a touch of insecurity in your voice, a hint of uncertainty that you hadn’t done it right. This was the first time you’d ever had a boyfriend over the Christmas period, so you weren’t sure if you’d done it right.

Looking up at you with wide eyes, he makes a small noise of question before looking back at his pile of gifts. It now looks smaller than yours and you get warm with embarrassment but he gives you such a bright smile.

“Yes, thank you! Got everything I wanted and stuff I didn’t know I wanted until now.” He leans back against the couch, giving you another smile before reaching out to you and pulling you into him. Besides the books and the Bond collection, the only other thing he’d gotten was a bottle of his cologne, which wasn’t cheap.

So his pile might not look like much, but it was actually a big chunk of money. It made you feel a little ashamed that your gifts were obviously more expensive, but you reasoned it away to yourself. Hoseok earnt more than you, a lot more than you. You had worked within your means for him while also buying for your friends and family.

“Are you happy with what you’ve got?” Hoseok asks, tilting his head to look at you with expectant brows. You give him a sweet smile of your own before nodding and hugging him even tighter.

There’s a moment of pause before you move your head to kiss him, lips gentle against his for a few seconds. He doesn’t hesitate any further though, moving his hand to cup your cheek and you relax into the kiss, almost sighing into his mouth contentedly.

You’d shyly admitted to him the other week that you really liked kissing him. He’d thought it was amusing that you’d told him that so sweetly, but you’d been particularly awkward about it because you’d never had makeout sessions as a teenager. And it hadn’t been fantastic in college, but you got the urge to just kiss Hoseok for hours on end like an excitable teenager.

It was pretty easy to guess that Hoseok found it endearing, and you’d found he’d been indulging you more often with kisses and just taking the time to let you feel like a loved up teenager once more. You were positive it was no great hardship on his behalf, but you were surprised that he controlled himself well enough that it rarely resulted in sex.

He was indulging you right now and you hummed contentedly, enjoying the casual and lazy way he was kissing you. The smell of the Christmas cookie candle you’d started earlier and the gentle twinkling of the lights on the tree you’d decorated with Hoseok at the start of December make it all feel more...homey. Which you don’t want to think about too much right now; you’re too concerned with enjoying your Christmas kisses to care too much.

Finally though, he pulls away slowly and the tiny whine you let out has him laughing against you. “Calm down, you can have plenty more later.”

Shifting away from him slightly, you push out your lower lip in a pout before giving him big puppy eyes. A year ago, the very idea of acting like this around him, or anyone, would have been beyond humiliating. But you felt comfortable with him, and you felt that this was fast becoming part of the language of your relationship with Hoseok.

He did the same to you when he wanted something. And it worked just as well on you as it did on him.

Hoseok smiles, giving you another quick kiss before gently rubbing his nose against yours. The look in his eyes is no longer sweet and soft, but instead a little more intense. Irises darkening ever so slightly while his pupils widen and you narrow your own at him, recognising that look now.

“Someone’s horny.” You mutter, causing him to smirk. He disentangles himself from you and stands, gesturing to you to stay there before disappearing off into the bedroom. Frowning, you try to see around the couch to get an idea of what he’s getting but when he comes back, whatever it is is hidden firmly behind his back.

“What are you doing?”

“Well, we bought this and never got round to using it. So...I figure that we can see if it’s worth the money. A little...Christmas orgasm? Ever had one of those?” He smirks at you, brows wiggling as he shows you the glass dildo and bottle of lube.

Almost instantly, you go all hot with embarrassment at the sight of him just waving that around so casually. He’d been disappointed a few weeks back to discover you had no sex toys, apparently they were fun for couples too, and so he’d sat with you and ordered some. You say he ordered some, but it seemed most of them were for you.

Which had confused you as to why he was so determined to use them all on you instead of getting something for himself. But he’d just waved off your questions, telling you that he got pleasure out of seeing you pleasured and there was plenty of time to explore stuff for him in the future.

You also got the idea that he still wasn’t entirely happy with the fact that the successful orgasm ratio was leaning very heavily in his favour. He’d given you plenty through oral and with his fingers, eventually figuring out what made you tick while having sex until he could successfully bring you to the brink if you were in the mood.

And then you’d started the antidepressants, and your sexual libido had plummeted. Not only had you shown no interest in intiating sex, though you were fine if he wanted it, it had become almost impossible to orgasm. Even by yourself you’d struggled, unable to fall over that precipice into the pit of pleasure to the point that you’d cried in frustration over it.

As such, he hadn’t pushed the issue too hard because he knew it was a sore point, but you’d slowly discovered that it was possible to orgasm still. It just required...a lot of work. When you’d shyly discussed this with Hoseok, he’d taken it almost as a challenge. Hence the sex toys.

The dildo he’d set on the table was made of clear glass, a pretty centre of pink and blue that swirled around each other and a flared base that allowed it to stand on its own. You eyed it carefully as he sat next to you, a smirk on his face. It was one that you hadn’t used yet and you found yourself squirming with the knowledge he was going to use that on you.

A thin shaft met a bulbous head, the tip reminding you of a closed flower bud. Reaching out, you ran your fingers down the glass slowly, noting how smooth and firm it felt. Along with being a lot cooler than you’d anticipated.

“You up for it? I figure...I can try this on you, see if I can get you to orgasm.” Lips twisting, you take the bottle of lube from him and place it on the table as well, carefully pushing the gifts away to make space. You were positive he’d noticed this too, but you didn’t want to vocalise it.

“What about you?” Hoseok snorted in amusement, giving you a quick kiss before running his hands down your waist.

“Okay, first of all. I love doing things with you sexually. So if that’s all that happened then I’ll just get acquainted with my hand in the shower later. Otherwise...well...it is Christmas so...” Shifting, you bite your lip before looking down at your hands and then reaching for his.

“I think we can work something out.” Despite how bold the words are, they sound a lot shyer with your soft tone. Especially the way you avoid his eyes and he just laughs, kissing your temple affectionately before playfully tugging at your leggings.

You resist for just a moment before relenting, shifting awkwardly and laughing as you both struggle to peel the tight fabric from your legs. There’s a particular moment where Hoseok accidentally bumps his forehead against yours when he leans forward, trying to tug them from underneath the rounds of your ass.

“Ow.” He mumbles and you coo to him, trying not to laugh as you gently rub at his forehead. Hoseok finally pulls them off you, taking your socks with him before moving groaning at the fact he hadn’t managed to get your underwear off too.

Now you can’t help but laugh at the way his lips automatically pout, leaning forward to peck at them before wiggling your underwear off yourself. Almost instantly he’s distracted, eyes focused between your legs and you bite your lip in amusement at how easy it is to get his attention when it involves sex or you naked.

You’d never thought you’d be someone who drew that kind of distraction in men and it makes you feel simultaneously powerful and shy. But you don’t get a chance to think any further about it when Hoseok lightly tugs on your shirt, raising his brows in silent question. The two of you have been having sex for months now, but he’s still respectful about your lingering insecurities.

Nodding, he pulls off your shirt in one quick movement before kissing you deeply once your head is free, causing you to hum in delight as his hand roams your naked skin. You no longer feel fear or panic at the touch of him against your waist and stomach. Instead, it feels reassuring.

A gasp leaves you when his hands move to cup your breasts, Hoseok smiling into the kiss as he runs his thumb along your soft skin before playing with your nipples. You’d gotten changed as soon as you’d come home from your parents and Hoseok had long gotten used to you going braless. Much to his appreciation.

But he doesn’t waste too long, leaving your lips to kiss down your jaw and suck rosettes of desire into your neck and chest. He deviates from what you presume to be his route momentarily to lavish attention onto your nipples, playing with them for a moment with his tongue and ever so gently his teeth and being careful to give both equal attention.

While he loved your chest, he wasn’t a boob man. No, he was firmly an ass man, which was evident by the way his hands had slipped down your body and were now squeezing and massaging the rounds of your ass in an almost reverent way. It amused you and you lip at your lips, tasting him once more and whining at him.

As much as you enjoyed the foreplay he was willing to give, you preferred it when he spent his time down below. Given your feelings towards your body, you weren’t particularly a fan of foreplay involving the area he was currently enjoying. And he knows this, which is why he presses a kiss to the centre of your chest before shifting backwards.

“Okay, are you okay to lay back? The rug should be okay and I’m gonna put one of these cushions under you.” He grabs the nearest cushion and you almost make a scandalised noise as you realise it’s your Pusheen unicorn cushion, but you don’t get chance to say anything as he’s already trying to move you.

So you relent, letting your back relax onto the soft rug and lifting your hips to let him place the cushion beneath them, lifting your lower body up to a place that was more comfortable for him to reach. Stretching slightly, you let out a slow breath before looking at your boyfriend.

And that breath turns into a low whine when you see the way he’s looking at you hungrily, desire almost a living force in his eyes. Given how ridiculously gorgeous he is, it’s an expression that makes your thighs clench in anticipation and your inner muscles convulse in an ache for him. You’ll never not be surprised that you’re the one to inspire that look in his eyes.

“Fuck,” He whispers, running a hand over his face. “Have I told you today that you��re beautiful? And I love you?”

You look away from him then, shyness flooding you and you go to hide yourself from his roaming gaze. He loves to make you go shy with his compliments, knowing that you love them despite the way you protest meekly. And he’s not afraid to lavish his words on you, no matter how cheesy they are.

“Anyway, enough of that.” Hoseok mutters and you’re about to query him, but by the time you look back over at him you’re moaning out in pleasure, eyes squeezing shut while your head presses back against the floor. He darted down while you were distracted and all you can feel right now is the heavenly touch of his hot, wet tongue against your pussy.

“Ah fuck.” You gasp, one hand grasping the rug tightly while your other inevitably moves to grasp Hoseok’s hair tightly, the black strands soft between your fingers. The quiet grunt he gives at the pressure of the pull vibrates against your clit as he sucks on it lazily, causing your breath to quiver.

If there was something you’d discovered about yourself during sex with Hoseok, it was that you weren’t a dirty talker. In fact, you weren’t even much of a talker. Instead, you were a babbler. You just mumbled and moaned and whined whatever came to your mind at the time, utterly unaware of the noises you were making.

Hoseok had commented before that he thought it was hot, that the knowledge you couldn’t control your mouth was a turn on. He on the other hand, tended to be either pretty quiet until the end or he’d run his mouth. You’d never thought you’d like dirty talk until you’d heard him whispering utter filth into your ear, his voice strained and hoarse from the effort.

It was surprising, and also not unwanted.

Now though, he spent the next few minutes with his mouth fully occupied. The tongue piercing that you had grown completely fond of pressed against your clit perfectly when lapped at you slowly, letting every centimetre of his tongue press against as much of you as possible before undulating it against your clit, letting the pressure and friction of the ball rile you up.

Whining, you tug at his hair desperately, feeling the familiar ball of tightened pleasure that is building. And yet it feels just out of reach, as before. Limbs tightening, you begged him to let you orgasm, to bring you over the edge that was so close and yet so far away.

But he doesn’t. Instead, he sits up and licks his lips contentedly, the slickness on them from you and not his own mouth. It’s an attractive sight and you whimper, pussy tightening on nothing at the sight of it. He doesn’t notice though, using his hand to wipe away the rest before looking over to the coffee table and grabbing the lube.

“I’m gonna use this still. You’re pretty wet but I read that you should use plenty, particularly with glass. And I don’t want to hurt you.” You’re almost bemused by the casual way he’s talking now, like he hadn’t just had his tongue buried into your pussy for the last five minutes. In fact, he’s even reading the damn label.

Frustrated, you reach and grasp his hand to attract his attention. “Just fucking put it in me.”

That gets a close lipped smile from him, the expression looking distinctly like he’s trying to stop himself from laughing and you scowl. Yes, you were being abrupt with him. But god dammit, you were lying naked in front of him, desperately horny and needy after being given excellent oral for given minutes and you just wanted to orgasm with your boyfriend once again and not just your own hand.

“Yes ma��am.” Uncapping the bottle, he tilts it up and you jolt slightly at the cool, thick liquid as it hits your swollen clit. He lets a good amount drip onto you before placing it back onto the table, his free hand moving to push the lubrication inside your entrance. For such an intimate motion, Hoseok is showing almost zero interest in having his fingers inside you as his attention is on the glass dildo.

But you moan in relief, tightening around him. He only has the one in you, but your moan attracts his attention back and he grins before adding a second, fingers curling in you and moving easily with the added lube. An almost grateful sigh escapes you and he laughs before pulling his fingers out and grabbing the dildo, wiping the excess onto the head before carefully adding even more.

The head of this dildo is bigger than Hoseok’s dick, and you’re a little nervous as he runs it along your pussy slowly. It’s incredibly cold and firm against you, the temperature causing you to shiver as it presses against the heated bundle of nerves at your centre.

“I’ll go slow, okay? You have to talk to me this time, let me know if it’s hurting or uncomfortable.” Nodding at him, you give him a small smile before your eyes widen as he pushes the tip inside you. It stretches you far more than you’d anticipated and you gasp, fingers grasping the rug tightly as he moves it.

Once it’s past your entrance, the slide is much easier given the shaft’s thinner girth but all you can focus on is how thick the head feels. There’s a brief moment of pause as Hoseok evaluates you before you nod at him and he slowly pulls it out. You grimace as it leaves you, deciding instantly that you do not like the feel of it entering and exiting.

“Don’t pull it out entirely. It...kinda hurts. Like not too bad but, I don’t like it.” You admit, causing him to frown before he nods in acknowledgement. The next few thrusts from him are much gentler as you both experiment with it and you comment on how it feels to him.

The glass is far firmer than anything you’ve had inside you before and you tell him to be careful, knowing that if he moved too hard or rough then it would probably really hurt given the lack of give in it. But you can’t deny that the overly large head is beyond pleasurable as it presses against the squishy patch of nerves on your inner wall, each movement sending sparks of overwhelming feeling through you.

“Move it like...a little down. No, not that way, so the head of it is coming up. Yeah, yeah like tha-ooh my god.” You moan, eyes falling closed as Hoseok does exactly as you suggest. The movement you’ve instructed him to do has the head pressing firmly against those nerves, the pressure intense and you convulse slightly when he moves it again.

“Oh god yes, there. There.” You pant to Hoseok, one hand moving instinctively for something and only stopping when Hoseok grasps it with his free hand, linking your fingers together and giving you something to squeeze. Like the good boyfriend he is, he keeps the dildo in that position as he moves it and you start to beg him to move it faster.

Moaning, you writhe on the floor as pleasure floods through you from the constant pressure and you half recognise the fact that you’re babbling to him to let you cum. But he knows as well as you do that you can’t orgasm from penetration alone, although given how good this feels you’re not entirely sure on that front.

Still, he understands and you almost jump off the floor when you feel the heated pressure of Hoseok’s wet tongue against your clit. A ragged moan leaves you, your free hand grasping his hair once more and tugging tightly as he licks and sucks at your clit almost playfully, enjoying your reactions for him.

You’d curse him out but you can’t quite focus, your entire body and mind centering on your pussy and the tight ball that has once more built up inside you. A small thought wonders whether you’ll not be able to reach it once more but it’s swept away quickly by the feeling of Hoseok’s piercing pressing against your engorged bud, the movement perfected over the months when he could bring you to orgasm.

And then it all combines together and your entire body tightens, loud and ragged moans being ripped from your throat as you shudder almost violently. Your hips move so powerfully that Hoseok can’t even keep movement with you, his mouth leaving you while he still moves the dildo within.

It just adds to the pleasure and you’re struck by the odd sensation of not being able to hear properly for a few seconds, the orgasm so strong that it literally knocks your senses offline. Once the wave has reached its crescendo and begins to soften again, you let out a soft whimper as Hoseok continues to move the dildo, only much slower this time.

It feels good, but almost too good and you push at his hand, telling him silently to stop. You don’t see the look of complete awe on his face when he pulls the dildo out, how he admires the visible signs of your pleasure on the transparent glass as white streaks of your own making coat it.

Instead, you’re just staring at the ceiling as your chest heaves, silent tears slipping from your eyes from just how...overwhelming everything was. The quiet clink lets you know he’s put the dildo on the table and you sniff, feeling particularly pathetic for getting so emotional over an orgasm.

“You came!” Hoseok coos, leaning over and gently resting some of his weight on you. He’s on his elbows, but your raised hips mean that you have the full weight of his own hips against you. Including the very hard erection pressed against you now. “Oh baby, don’t cry. It’s okay.”

“I’m not upset or anything, it’s okay. I just...I don’t know,” Muttering, you wipe at the tears in an almost annoyed fashion and Hoseok smiles. “I’m just feeling emotional. Which is silly. It was just an orgasm but…”

Looking at him, your heart swells with emotion for him and even more tears fall, causing him to smile softly before he wipes them away himself and kisses you. You don’t push him away, instead wrapping your arms around his neck and holding him to you so tightly, fingers pressing into his shoulders.

“It’s okay, you’ve been stressed about it for a while now. Cry if you want, I don’t mind,” He pauses, kissing your nose quickly before smiling. “I said it earlier, but I love you.”

Wiping at your eyes again, you sniff and give him a return smile that’s more than a little shaky. Letting go of him, you watch as he sits up onto his knees, looking down at you while he bites his lip. The tent in his pants is now emphasised by the wet patch that’s been caused by the combination of lube and your own excitement and you feel bad, knowing he’s put off his own pleasure.

Sitting up, you push the cushion away before taking a deep breath. You feel a little sluggish from the strength of the orgasm, but you’ll be damned if you leave him high and dry. And on Christmas no less!

“So...how about some sex for you now?” Hoseok grins immediately at your words and you can’t help but laugh at his eagerness.

“Are you sure? Are you okay? Will you be up for it?” Despite his excitement, you appreciate his words of concern and squeeze his hand in response. Giving him a quick kiss, you take a deep breath to give yourself strength before letting go of him and turning around. There’s a pause, before you get on your hands and knees and look back at him.

This was his favourite position and any playfulness has left his face as he stares at the slick mess between your legs. Licking your lips, you push away the shyness before smiling at him.

“I’ll even let you cum on my back.” His jaw drops immediately. You’d discovered Hoseok liked orgasming onto you. He proclaimed he had no real reason for enjoying it but you thought he got turned on at the physical act of ‘marking’ you in a possessive way. At least...that’s why you enjoyed it anyway.

But you don’t offer it often, so it’s not something he gets to indulge in too much.

“Happy fucking Christmas to me.” He mutters under his breath and you can’t help but laugh as he pulls his clothes off at record speed. Happy Christmas to him indeed.

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ifeveristoday · 5 years ago

Text

and she will walk through the fire

spoilers, thoughts, and reactions for the penultimate issue of Hellmouth #4: Are we there yet? Don’t make me turn this car around.

Buffy, Buffy, Buffy. My sweet dumbass summer child.

Baby. What are you doing?

In this issue, Buffy does the hokey-pokey of emotionally dealing with This Hellmouth Nonsense™ and ends up running away, leaving a curtain of hellfire in her wake.

Because of course, she does.

Buffy has always lived by her emotions or perceived lack of them and slaying with her gut feelings as her guide. The show both celebrated and pointed out when Buffy lets her personal feelings override what’s right/necessary for the moment - and how badly things were going when Buffy suppressed her real emotions.

Boom! Buffy is self-aware enough to know that she shouldn’t be doing things on her own this early on in the Slaying game, but she’s so overwhelmed by Angel’s betrayal that she naturally jumps to conclusions. This is Baby Buffy, who knows evil as it personally relates to her and isn’t aware/cares about the nuances yet. Drusilla attacked and hurt her best friend, but he still has his soul so he’s not a regular vampire - Angel presents himself as a guy who knows what’s up and she had no reason to think otherwise, until he shows her his vampire face. Buffy’s knowledge of vampires extends to Xander, who is an outlier, and the obvious Bad: Drusilla, Spike, and canon fodder vampires.

Angel’s lie disrupts that knowledge - he was, as she says, someone she thought she could trust. Even when they fought in earlier issues, she thought well enough of him to call him a friend. ‘I thought you were like me. I don’t know you. And I can’t trust you to make the right decisions down here or...anywhere...I’m better off on my own.’

It’s frustrating! It’s contradictory to her best interests. It’s reckless - she’s the Slayer but she’s in literal HELL with demons that can be summoned out of thin air apparently to fight her, so even with superpowers she’s going to get tired eventually.

It is also completely human, and completely Buffy Summers. As we’ve seen in Boom, Buffy’s past is still a mystery that may never get addressed - and her relationship with her slaying and Giles as her watcher is still evolving. The early issues had her complaining about Giles not telling her step by step what to do, and him telling her that’s not how it works - but a bond has formed between them and her friends. Buffy doesn’t have to be alone anymore, but as Kendra reminds Rose - the Slayer doesn’t usually ask for help like that. It’s a solitary job by nature.

Buffy’s Slayer instincts win out over common sense - she runs off too hurt to consider Angel’s explanation for lying and to confront the Hellmother on her own.

Which leads her to fight--- herself.

This Buffy has been Through It - and it’s to Eleonara’s skills as the artist, that you can tell this is an Older Buffy, and not just a dirtier/scruffier one. Her gaze, her posture - all portray a Buffy who’s fought a war and has lost.

And this Buffy has a very obvious vampire bite scar on her neck.

Is this another First Evil™ mindfuck? Buffy certainly seems to think so - but War! Buffy doesn’t engage or defend herself. Instead, she tells Buffy that she’s not alone like everyone else, and to not stop her [War! Buffy] from going into the lake.

Yeah, I don’t know either. War! Buffy is both lucid and disassociating simultaneously. She tells her younger self that she’s been where Buffy is now, and that’s she made the choice to be alone - and she lost everyone in the process.

War! Buffy tells her it’s good that she’s not alone [re: Angel] but Buffy tells her that she doesn’t understand -

and her older self interrupts her with ‘Not the same. It’s time to go, now. I’m sorry.’

Buffy asks her what’s down there - and in the spirit of foreshadowing, War! Buffy says, ‘The only thing left. You’d understand. You will. One day.’

And she walks into the lake and disappears.

Does it count as a conversation if you’re talking to a presumably dead version of yourself?

Before Buffy has time to dwell on War! Buffy and her lampshade, the Hellmother in vessel of Angel comes toward her - eyes a glowing and flaxen hair flowing like an Evil Legolas and demands her blood.

Well fuck.

Buffy’s intervention via mirror self works for me on a number of levels because a) duh, the show and its shadow selves b) Is it really Buffy? Or is it First Evil Maybelline? c) I have always always wanted Buffy to come in contact with her Wishverse self because COULD YOU IMAGINE - like hello giant Before/After wakeup call, we could have had it all, etc, etc. So if Boom is doing its own version of the Wishverse, I am Here. For. IT. Let’s explore all the multiverses!!!!

and d) it gets present-day Buffy to stop and think about her actions, just a little bit. Back earlier when I wrote Baby Buffy can only relate to evil as it affects her personally - having her own self warn her about the dangers of lone Wolfing - because Buffy can only trust herself is the obvious conclusion.

It also has echoes of Prophecy Girl and the Gift - because it’s clear that War! Buffy sacrifices herself to the Lake and it’s a probable warning to present Buffy to not make the same choices. Which means she has to get over her hurt and trust Angel because she doesn’t have anyone else - not Drusilla, whose voice Jordie still hasn’t quite nailed, and not Augie (who should not have appeared at all or been introduced in an earlier issue) who has his own motivations.

My theory that it’s this Buffy’s death that activated Kendra above - the timelines don’t seem to run in a neatly parallel sense anyway, but could also be a glimpse at another world (hopefully better plotted) that happens later, after the Hellmouth opened?

I love the character exploration and addressing of Buffy’s larger flaws early on, but I’m worried about how long it’s going to take before anything actually happens. That is a consistent problem with the Hellmouth crossover - it started quickly but then meandered into filler territory with good parts sprinkled in - there are 30-31 pages in each issue, but only 22 pages with the actual story. It’s not the most effective way of using story real estate because the missing ten pages are the cover, splash pages and advertisements. If Hellmouth had just been edited leaner?

There’s still one more issue left. It would have to do a lot of heavy lifting to save Hellmouth as a whole - but I can’t fault the ambition. This was more realistic to me than the space aliens and what not that went on in DH! canon. And it also feels really true to the first season of Buffy as well - messy, but with heart and an obvious direction, just not executed 100% on the first shot.

It’s been a year of Boom! verse and I’m still looking forward to more.

#boom! verse #boom! studios #buffy comics #angel in boom! land #hellmouth #thoughts and reactions

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zayntoxicateme · 7 years ago

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June 18, 2018

We managed to catch up with the quietly enigmatic singer.

Read "How Do You Explain Zayn?"

Zayn, the one-named man who found himself reborn after leaving One Direction, is now on GQ's cover. In his shoot with Sebastian Mader, Zayn channels Tyler Durden and Leo DiCaprio's Romeo. And the wildly enigmatic singer also let down his guard, briefly, in talking to writer Carrie Battan about his relationship with Gigi Hadid, the self indulgence of being a "star," and his crafty use of the paparazzi for his own devices—a story you can read here (full story is below; the link will take you to the GQ website)

How Do You Explain Zayn?

Carrie Battan

Photographs by

Sebastian Mader

The 25-year-old British singer is deeply, maddeningly, almost trolling-ly enigmatic. And that cultivated mystery—along with his disdain for the standard rules of superstardom—is probably what puts him on the short list for COOLEST HUMAN ALIVE. On a recent Friday night, though, he dropped his guard and spilled his guts.

There are exactly two places in New York on a Friday night where Zayn Malik can smoke Marlboro Lights as liberally and openly as he pleases, unencumbered by gawkers or the city's increasingly draconian anti-smoking laws. The ﬁrst is Zayn Malik's SoHo apartment, where he spends the majority of his time, zoning out, reading books, listening to music, and "partaking in the herb," as he says. The second is the Mary A. Whalen, a 172-foot-long restored-tanker-ship-turned-nonproﬁt-hangout-spot that is docked off the shore of Red Hook, Brooklyn. The ship is closed for business after 6 P.M., but tonight its leader, a hardy blonde ship preservationist named Carolina, has agreed to keep it open late to accommodate us. No crowds, a few plastic chairs, and a gently lilting surface that is basically a giant ashtray.

There is just one problem: The temperature on deck is decreasing rapidly with the setting sun, and Zayn—the 25-year-old former British-boy-band member, current solo pop-ish star, and all-around inscrutable avatar of contemporary celebrity—has arrived with nothing on his person but a lighter, a backpack, and an iPhone. No jacket on his rail-thin five-ten frame—just a pair of charcoal skinny jeans, a distressed Pink Floyd T-shirt, a bright pink beanie that obscures his new ﬂower skull tattoo (or "tah-oo," as Zayn pronounces it). He looks so modernly cool, blending a hip-hop swagger with a punk-rock edge, that he should receive a cut from Urban Outﬁtters every time someone makes a purchase. He is the only man whose Disney-princess-long eyelashes seem to bolster his machismo rather than diminish it. Nobody this dreamy has ever bothered to check the weather to see if he should grab a jacket before leaving the house. Through chattering teeth, he rejects multiple offers of blankets. "It's all good," he insists, burping faintly after taking a swig of his Peroni. "I'm cool."

Still, Carolina avails us of the ship's warmer galley. "I might have a cigarette ﬁrst?" Zayn asks, as though he needs permission, gesturing toward the other side of the ship. Over there is his assistant Taryn, a young woman with French-braided pigtails that make her look more like a high school soccer player than someone designated to manage the everyday logistics of a notoriously slippery superstar's life. She is the custodian of his pack, doling out individual cigarettes to Zayn periodically.

But Carolina assures us Zayn will not have to stay outside to smoke his cigarette. She'll let us smoke belowdecks on the condition that Zayn provide her one of his Marlboros and permission to snap a photograph. She promises she won't post it until after the story runs. "Uh…yeah?" Zayn replies, sounding sincerely surprised that he is the one who has to answer a question that was directed at him.

A steely detachment from life's mundane logistical concerns is part of almost every celebrity's existence, but it is the core of Zayn's being. This character trait has ruinous potential, but it also means he gets to live his life exactly how he pleases. And it means that he doesn't have to express a single word or hint of desire in order for the conditions around him to re-arrange to his liking and comfort. There's a hapless Peter Pan quality to it that makes it tough to hold against him.

We settle around the table in the '70s-style kitchen on the boat. It's 15 degrees warmer down here and private. Zayn instantly appears relieved, his shoulders unclenching and his brow de-furrowing. He stops shivering. He is in a womb-like space, drinking beer and smoking cigarettes, and he seems palpably and unexpectedly happy. "Thanks," he says quietly and earnestly in Carolina's direction as she seals off the door behind us. "Couple of times I tried to quit. But I just like smoking cigs. Simple as that."

There is a major conundrum in Zayn's life, which is that he may be constitutionally incapable of being a star. He tells me so almost immediately. "I don't work well in group situations, with loads of people staring at me. And when you say 'star'…everyone wants you to be this kind of character that owns a room or is overly arrogant or conﬁdent. I'm not that guy," he says. "So I don't want to be a star." Zayn seems to aspire to the soul of Prince, or some cult '90s skate-punk ﬁgure, but is trapped in the trajectory of a Justin Timberlake.

A decade ago, someone like Zayn would not have become the Chosen Member of a band like One Direction. The Chosen Member is the boy-band graduate whose solo career evolves and hurdles into grown-up relevance, ultimately overshadowing the band's legacy. Until recently, you could spot a Chosen Member from a mile away—he was unequivocally the best dancer and the one the most girls wanted to bring home to their parents. But Zayn never ﬁt the mold of a Chosen Member. From the day One Direction formed, on the U.K. show The X Factor in 2010, he was cast as the smoldering background foil to the eager-to-please Harry Styles and Liam Payne. His energy and his dance moves were muted. He presented as the quiet, disillusioned one.

But in the past ﬁve years or so, it has become acceptable—necessary, even—for a young pop star to show some edge. Thanks to the social-media-fueled, ever intensifying quest for authenticity, real or feigned, we no longer expect our most famous musicians to be toothless and virginal robots. Now we demand that they show a certain degree of lustiness, instability, anti-heroism. The Weeknd scored a No. 1 hit with an elaborately coded song about a cocaine binge—and then followed it up with another No. 1 hit, this one explicitly referencing a cocaine binge. Lana Del Rey's entire aesthetic revolves around a kind of narcotized death wish. And Taylor Swift spent her last album desperately trying to persuade us that she really is villainous. Even Disney's babiest-faced of pop princesses, Selena Gomez, is getting mileage out of her demons, playing a Girl, Interrupted–style heroine and rocking a hospital bracelet in a music video. Face tattoos are basically required for entry onto the Billboard Hot 100 these days. Squeaky-clean is no more.

And yet even for the most tortured-seeming of these artists, there is still a ﬁerce expectation that they play the game. Mild drug habits or mental illnesses are perfectly acceptable, so long as someone is willing to write catchy songs about those tendencies and then later gussy them up for arena audiences and gamely ﬁeld jokes from talk-show hosts. Even Justin Bieber, the poster child for our current era of troubled pop stars, is always just one phone call with his pastor away from being able to quiet his demons and pop-and-lock on demand.

Zayn seems like a perfect avatar for this new generation of bruised pop heartthrobs, but he's the only one of his cohorts who can back it up with a sincerely jaded disposition and an unpredictable way of being. He is the only one who is staunchly unwilling to play the game. You will not ﬁnd Zayn cheesing with a random group of famous people for someone's Instagram story at Coachella, nor will you ﬁnd Zayn learning the latest viral dance move with Ellen DeGeneres. When he released his solo debut, Mind of Mine, two years ago, he opted out of touring altogether, surely pissing off a bunch of emotionally and ﬁnancially invested parties. And although he promises to be more public-facing this time around—he insists he will tour—he's still removed from the album-cycle content churn. He says the creators of Atlanta have reached out to him to appear on the show—a dream opportunity for anyone in the music industry at this moment—but persnickety Zayn is still mulling the potential. "If the part's right, I'd be really into it," he says. Even the "behind-the-scenes" video that accompanied his new single fails to actually take anyone "behind the scenes"—it's just the song playing over some B-roll. "I guess the cameraman didn't get too much footage," Zayn says on the boat. "I might have been running away from him a bit."

When I ask him why he failed to show up at the Met Gala a couple days earlier, he almost chokes on his cigarette smoke as he exhales. He went to the Met Gala once, in 2016, and that experience symbolized everything he detests about being a famous person—and the litany of coercion and artiﬁce that someone in his position experiences.

"I did go, but I didn't go there to be like, 'Yo, take me serious,' " he remembers. "I was taking the piss! I went there as my favorite Mortal Kombat character, Jax."

He continues: "The Met Gala is not necessarily anything that I ever knew about or was about. But my [former] stylist…would say to me, 'This is really good for you to do.' And no matter how strong you are mentally, you can always be swayed to do certain things. Now, it's not something I would go to. I'd rather be sitting at my house, doing something productive, than dressing up in really expensive clothes and being photographed on a red carpet.… To do the self-indulgent Look at me, I'm amazing thing on the red carpet, it's not me."

Here Zayn catches himself, probably realizing this might register as a diss of Gigi Hadid, the 23-year-old supermodel he's been in an on-again, off-again relationship with for two years. The supermodel who very much seemed to enjoy dressing up in really expensive clothes and being photographed on the red carpet days earlier.

"I get it, and I understand that people gain enjoyment from it," he says. I ask if he followed along with the coverage from his couch. "No, no," he says, and pauses. "Gi stole the night, though. The stained glass on her dress. Everyone else just put a cross on."

When I ask Zayn if he has any conﬁdants in the industry, he shakes his head vigorously. "No," he says. "I don't ever want to cross wires with other people too much. I just want to see the world through my eyes."

Zayn grew up with three sisters ("I was outnumbered," he says) and is still surrounded by women, ensuring that there's a high level of exasperated but fond maternal energy swirling at all times. Blood relatives and the Hadids—particularly Gigi's mother, Yolanda, who seems to have taken on a Kris Jenner–ian role in his life—make up much of his inner circle today. ("We get on. She's really fucking cool. She's a Capricorn. She's the same star sign as me.") He recently parted ways with his high-proﬁle manager. His best friend is a younger cousin.

"I'm not [in] the mix," he says. "I'm outside the mix."

This kind of stubborn non-participation, of course, is a reaction to the years Zayn spent being in a mix that was not to his liking. When he was a kid, growing up in the northern working-class city of Bradford, singing was just one part of an aimless but all-consuming creative impulse. He never thought he was much of a singer, until one day the choir leader at his performing-arts school praised his voice and suggested that he try out for Britain's premier vocal-competition show. Zayn's mom had to drag him from his bed at 4 A.M. to attend the audition, where he broke from the typical pop fare with a rendition of Mario's "Let Me Love You."

After his X Factor audition, there was an exchange (never aired) in which head judge Simon Cowell probed baby Zayn. " 'You know, with all these online platforms, why haven't you ever put out anything prior to this?' " Zayn remembers Cowell asking him. Zayn seemed the type, after all: a soft-spoken and artistically gifted teen who liked to sing alone in his bedroom and tinkered with rudimentary song-recording equipment. "I didn't necessarily think my stuff would be seen amongst the millions of people who put their stuff online. So I went with X Factor at that age," he says now. Like any ﬁckle teenager, Zayn "just did it for fun, to see what would happen."

The day that Zayn auditioned, he was among many aspiring solo artists rejected by the judges. But ﬁve of the young singers were cobbled together as a boy band in a later segment. Thus was born One Direction and a rabid fandom that British people love to compare to Beatlemania. A craze so ﬁerce and massive that it generated global synchronized ﬂash mobs and fan-ﬁction authors who've reportedly scored six-ﬁgure book deals. In an instant, Zayn was thrust into a star-making boot camp, fast-tracked to an uncontrollable type of notoriety without being given the opportunity to consider alternatives.

It's no secret that Zayn didn't love One Direction's sound or his bandmates. "My vision didn't necessarily always go with what was going on within the band," he says. There was something so earnest, so wholesomely dweeby, about the whole thing. It wasn't cool, and Zayn didn't particularly enjoy being dragged around the world to look like an epic dork during the prime of his youth.

When he split off, in 2015, Zayn ﬁnally got to do all the things he hadn't been able to in One Direction: dye his hair, grow his beard, sing about sex. But he was also introduced to a fresh army of puppeteers trying to guide him, and he felt disoriented, adrift. The only way to ground himself was to resist the pull of anyone's expectations and answer only to Zayn. He'd spent ﬁve years taking direction and had become allergic to it.

There are plenty of clichéd expressions about how toxic and stiﬂing freedom can be, and Zayn experienced many of them when he went solo. "I didn't really, like, make any friends from the band. I just didn't do it. It's not something that I'm afraid to say. I deﬁnitely have issues trusting people," he says. When he was living in Los Angeles, aimless, he fell in with a crowd of industry people: "Producers, musicians, tailors, stylists, managers. Them kind of things," he says. "It got too crazy. I just got too much into the party scene. Just going out all the time. And I was too distracted." So he left L.A. permanently and moved to New York earlier this year as a way to bring himself back down to earth.

Running a bit further, he recently bought a farm in rural Pennsylvania on the advice of Yolanda Hadid, who also has a farm there. The farm? "Cool." The state of Pennsylvania? "Cool." If you haven't picked up on it for yourself yet, Zayn loves the word "cool"; he loves it so much that he uses it more than 43 times over the course of our conversation. And now that Zayn likes to go to his farm and visit the Hadids, he and Gigi even have a horse together, named Cool. He's just getting things going on the farm, but already there are crops of cherries, tomatoes, and cucumbers. He likes to ride his ATVs. Sometimes he and Gigi will go at the same time, and she'll ride a horse, like Cool, while he watches.

Zayn has a habit of speaking in a conditioned state of detachment, responding in friendly but anodyne one-liners. Still, even someone who willfully projects this kind of cool two-dimensionalism can get irked from being flattened all the time by those around him. I catch myself flattening him, even when he's right in front of me. When I bring up the deceased Lil Peep, with whom he shared a manager, I say that it's a shame they never met—they seem like kindred spirits who could have made a great song together, or at least bonded over tattoos.

Zayn begins to laugh. "I'm not just going to be friends [with people] because we've both got tattoos. Loads of people come up to me and they're like, 'Yo, I got tattoos, you got tattoos. Let's be friends.' And I'm like… 'We're not just going to be friends because we've both got tattoos.'

"There's a bit more depth to me than that," he says, admonishing me.

One topic that will draw out this aforementioned depth is, unexpectedly, America. Despite the fact that he is living in a country under a leader that is exceptionally hostile to immigrants, the fantasy of America as a come-one, come-all melting pot is alive and well in Zayn's mind. He says he'd vote for Oprah if she ran for office because he likes her "ideologies about the world" and she's a "badass businesswoman."

"The UK is like, Fuck you, you're successful. That's not a nice attitude to have," he says. "You come to America, you're a bit shocked at first: Are these people being genuine? Are they really interested in me? Do they want to have a conversation? But they do! And that's a really nice thing. And I feel like it's misrepresented across the globe. For the kind of country it is, because everybody supports, no matter what color, what gender, what sexuality, what class—none of that matters here. People genuinely want to know you for who you are. And that's how America should be represented across the world."

Watch Now:Zayn Rocks Summer’s Best Swerves

Maybe you should run for office, I say.

"Maybe. It'd be cool. I feel like it's a beautiful place. [Because of the current political climate,] people are expressing how they really feel about where they come from and their heritage and their backgrounds. They're all mixed. To be American, you are mixed.

"So that's how I feel about it—it's a beautiful place, and it's a beautiful time to be alive."

Another unlikely topic that will break Zayn out of his default conversational mode and get him talking in jolting, paragraphs-long monologues: the paparazzi. The paparazzi who have been trailing him for years and, recently, every time he sets foot near Gigi's NoHo apartment, feeding the endless tabloid speculation about the state of their relationship. The paps used to piss Zayn off, until he realized their utility.

"That's my promo," he says. "I come outside, they take photos." He gets to quietly remind people that he exists—and gets photographed looking like the second coming of Johnny Depp, leaving the apartment of one of the most gorgeous women in the world—without doing a thing. "They stay outside and do all the work!" he says. "You can get pissed off about it and be like, 'Yo, this is a hindrance on my life.' Or you can use it for your own beneﬁt and be like, 'Well, if they're going to take the photos, then let them.' You've gotta earn your dollar, and I've gotta earn mine."

Which is to say that just because Zayn loathes the cornball industry churn doesn't mean he needs to surrender his relevance. Zayn represents an era in which underground cool and mass-market, Calabasian-style popularity have collapsed into one another. He operates on a plane where celebrity is predicated chieﬂy on relevance and intrigue, and Zayn—with his equally illustrious girlfriend, his brooding glare, and his following of millions—has about as much relevance and intrigue as anybody. He is both a casualty and a beneﬁciary of this uniquely modern form of celebrity. In running from his stardom, he's only fueling it.

I suppose now is the time to dispense with the rest of the intel I gleaned from Zayn about his relationship with Gigi Hadid, which was a less sensitive subject than I had anticipated. The two met at the end of 2015 at a party—which "pah-y," Zayn will not disclose, but suffice it to say it was a "cool pah-y"—and just days later, Zayn learned she'd broken up with Joe Jonas. He reached out to her and asked her to dinner at the Bowery Hotel. And thus was born a couple that will go down in history as one of the most iconic and Zeitgeisty pairings of all time, a couple whose images I will show my grandchildren to prove that the world was better in my day. All of the gossip about their relationship being an opportunistic setup by their respective management is bullshit, Zayn says: "If a relationship is for your career, you can fucking walk out the door. No way. See you later."

Despite the dramatic announcement of their split a couple of months ago, Zayn and Gigi are very much still close, as evidenced by myriad photos of him leaving her apartment or kissing her on the street. Zayn speaks about Gigi in a purely misty-eyed, worshipful tone that telegraphs he may be atoning for something. "I'm really thankful that I met her," he says. He uses the term "we" in the present tense quite a bit: "We go to the farm." "We have horses." The time he actually rode a horse with Gigi, he says, "I looked like a complete idiot and she looked like a complete professional.… We're still really good friends, and we're still in contact," he says. "No bad blood." He laughs. "…Taylor Swift.

"We're adults. We don't need to put a label on it, make it something for people's expectations." To hear Zayn tell it, Gigi is the hyper-organized, clear-headed, and positive counterweight to his disposition, which can dip into a vacant or negative state. She helped him reset his attitude when he was releasing his ﬁrst solo album, partying too hard. "I had a very negative outlook on things. That might have been adolescence or testosterone or whatever the fuck was running through my body at the time," he says. "She's helped me to look at things from a positive angle."

As Zayn heads into his new album cycle, Gigi has been a font of support and organizational heft. He says she's especially good with dates, which I mishear as "good with debts."

She's good with debts? You're in debt?

"No, no. Dates. She doesn't handle my ﬁnances yet," he says. "We'll get to that eventually."

When Zayn Malik went solo, he dropped his last name. The mononymic "Zayn" took on a potency and directness that enabled him to break free from the chains of boy-band drudgery and lameness. Zayn: It's a single syllable that conjures a vaporous sexuality and a moodiness that blurs the line between contemplative and blank. You can imagine the black-and-white commercial for L'Eau de Zayn.

In the years since he dropped his last name, the word "Zayn" has also become, to insiders, an equally potent verb. To "Zayn" means to be within someone's reach one moment and then completely disappear the next without any explanation. Poof! To be "Zayned" is to witness a French exit so aggressive that it almost has a supernatural quality. I know this because it happened to me.

We emerged from the ship's galley, and as I prepared to launch into more conversation, he asked Carolina where he could ﬁnd the toilets. She pointed him toward a porta-potty on dry land, and Taryn wordlessly followed behind him, obviously accustomed to this ritual. Before I could get my bearings, he was zipping off into the parking lot adjacent to the tanker, no doubt scurrying home to his fortress of solitude and cigarette smoke in SoHo. I'd been Zayned.

We were supposed to hang out the following week, and I patiently waited for him to reach out. But I knew that he never would. And much as I'd like to be the exception to the Laws of Zayn's Nature, I get it. Who among us has never fantasized about blowing off pesky professional obligations we deem useless? Zayn—driven by a spirit that is part self-destruction, part self-preservation, part youthful punk contrarianism—actually has the balls to live that fantasy. It's self-absorbed, immature, and unprofessional. I'd be offended if I didn't think it was so fucking cool.

Carrie Battan is a staff writer for 'The New Yorker' and a contributor to 'GQ'.

An abridged version of this story appeared in the July 2018 issue.

#zayn #gq #interview #magazine #print interview #love of my life

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ragnarssons · 7 years ago

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the 100 ask game

I was tagged by @nightbleeder ty <3 (even tho half of the fandom won’t like my answers, yikes) 1. What would you get arrested for on the Ark? as the things were on s1? Probably punching Kane in the face just for being around... or probably stealing some supplies for people I care about. Or murder, because sometimes the urge is strong, it has to be even worse on a very limited space like the ark. 2. Would you take off your wristband when you landed on the ground? ehhhh uuuuh, no, especially not with Bellamy’s ways of doing things at the time. Yeah, when Bellamy started to forbid people from eating unless they take their wristband off, is the only time I sided with Finn... 3. What would the necklace Finn would make for you look like? (Clarke: deer/Raven: a raven duh..) a fist in his face? Idk, Finn would have never made me a necklace because I wouldn’t have liked him at all to begin with. But if it has to come to that, maybe a tree leaf or something that simple. 4. If you could resurrect any MINOR character who would it be? *big breath* SINCLAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIR 5. Create a squad of 5 characters to go on missions with. Who are they? Bellamy “eyes sharp” Blarke, Clarke doctor Griffin, Monty, Roan (because broanlarke and also their mission was badass), and Raven “it won’t survive me” Reyes. I have guns, swords, brains, abs, technology, and medical support. 6. Minty or Briller? Briller. I’m actually looking forward to see what they did with Jackson and Miller tbh.... 7. What would your name be in Trigedasleng? (example: Octavia=Okteivia…just make it up!) ehhh, Mari? Yeah kinda like Madi, cool. 8. Thoughts on Finn? Some people hate him, and others love him, so I’m curious Who? Listen, I didn’t hate him at first, when I started the show. To me watching the first eps, it was THAT simple, Bellamy was the “bad guy” and Finn was “the good guy” the storyline sides with every time. And Clarke and him are the “rightful couple”. But delving into the show it gets more complicated and even tho I shipped Bellarke and Bellamy was by far my fav over Finn, I was “mehhh” with Finn. I didn’t care about his ass tbh. When he died I didn’t care. And then I rewatched the show. And I re-rewatched it. And re-re-rewatched it. And I HATE Finn. There is no more self-righteous character (except Octagon), and yet he’s the most basic douchebag you could ever put on a tv show. He’s lying, he’s cheating people, yet for a long while (5 episodes is still a long while) the narrative makes us want to be like “yeahh Finn ur so gooood”. And when there actually is the “love triangle” he goes all weak ass about it, being “sorry” and yet doing NOTHING to atone for what he did. He sleeps with Raven while it’s SOOO OBVIOUS that she’s just fucking him because she’s desperate and sad and just running away from things. SERIOUSLY? You don’t love her, she loves you, but you sleep with her??? And the way both Raven and Clarke had to be the “bigger person” for his sorry ass. I’m glad they worked things through and got an awesome relationship even tho he was here, with his “sad puppy eyes” dumb face. And the way he’s stalking Clarke wherever she goes, questioning and criticizing all her decisions. AND when on Unity Day he put CLARKE’S ass in danger, then went all “youuu should have truuusted meeee” when Clarke got her ass saved by Bellamy, BECAUSE his idea was dumb to begin with (and also because he kinda “forced” her hand to speak with the Grounders while she NEVER wanted to do that in the first place... why didn’t he go himself ehhh if he’s sooo smart? And after that he acted all schocked because the Grounders came with weapons - DUUUUUH). Do I hate Finn enough here? 9. Be honest. How willing would you have been to take the chip without knowing all the horrible things it does? Not. I’ve known really hard times, but never in my life I have thought about “turning my feelings/pain off” in a superficial way. And idk, kinda knowing it’s some kind of computer thingy (do they know?) “taking control” over you, ehhh no. I don’t do drugs. 10. What character do you relate to most & What character do you like the least not including the obvious ones like Pike, etc… I relate to Bellamy the most. Idk, yeah I don’t have a little sister who was my duty for all my life. But on a larger spec, I’d do most of the things he did. I know I’d kill only if it were necessary and I know I wouldn’t be able to live with it and trying to atone for it. I know that I’m true and impetuous and impredictable like Bellamy. And the ones I relate with the least are Octagon and Mur.hy (let’s not tag him because heeee). 11. Describe your delinquent outfit. (Would you wear something like Murphy’s jacket with the spikey red shoulder patch or have a trademark like Jasper’s goggles? Be creative, yet practical) I’d be a basic bitch. With Clarke’s good earth cleavage because I can rock it too. 12. Favorite type of mutant animal? I loved the idea of the deer (also on s1 Lincoln actually has a “mutant horse”). I think Pauna is ridiculous, tho. I’d like to see more of these, on the other hand. 13. What would your job be on the Ark? Janitor? 14. Would you have willingly pumped Ontari’s heart if Abby asked? I think so. I know that when my adrenaline kicks in, I am able to push back a lot of my discomforts. Even tho I HATEEEEEEEEE everything related to surgery and stuff like that. To save Clarke, I would have, yeahhh... 15. If Lxa wasn’t Heda, but she’s still alive right? then who would make the best commander? No one? Idk just destroy this autocratic way of ruling. Wells would have been a good leader *side eyes*. Idk at least the Chancellor is elected, but I really disagree with the whole Grounders’ politics soooo I really don’t care about all this. 16. If you were a grounder, then where would you live and who would be your mentor? I’d love my mentor to be Lincoln. And ummm as for the clan ummm, I don’t care?? Trishanakru? The butterflies are nice, you know. 17. How would you act if you ate the hallucinogenic nuts like Jasper and Monty? Monty. I too want to give the Earth a giant hug. 18. How would you have dealt with Charlotte’s crime? A more John Murphy approach or Bellamy Blake? I would have given her some therapy cuz I don’t know why Wells had to die because she was seeing Jaha in her nightmares. Like?? Logic?? Where are you?? I really don’t know what I would have done but certainly NOT what they did to Murphy but also NOT what he would have done himself had he caught Charlotte (or what he did through the episode). Banishment seemed like a good idea, but she’s still a kid. Gosh I have no idea. 19. Who should be the Chancellor, if anyone? Someone from the lower ranks on the Ark. Like Sinclair? Given his relationships to a lot of characters, he would have been a good Chancellor, yeh. Or Ginger Dad. 20. Mount Weather had a lot of modern commodities. (example: Maya’s Ipod)What is the one thing you would snatch while there? Dante’s art collection. 21. Do you think you’d have caught the virus spread through camp or would you have been immune like Oct.via? Since my headcanon is that the virus was like “a moral compass” (since only the good characters got it), I’d say that I wouldn’t be immune. (I’ll never buy this bs saying that Octagon and Finn are “the strong ones” LMAO) 22. What would your grounder tattoos look like? Hairstyle? War paint? type Aloy on Google and that’s it. Aloy is bae. I also loved Lxa’s back tattoo tbh. And no war paint (idk all of these, on the show, are ridiculous). 23. Favorite quote? “For all its faults, Earth is really beautiful” also “We save who we can save today”. I also love the Traveler’s Prayer. 24. Can you forgive Mur.hy for his actions? How about Bellamy? About Mur/hy it’s gonna be a big NO. Like, sorry, I still have zero empathy for this character. People call him “complex”, to me, he hasn’t changed ever since the beginning of the show (he literally abandoned his “buddy” Bellamy on 401 like ehhh??). And the way he’s so judgy and “sassy” while he’d morally have ZERO right to be. I think the fandom works way more to make me dislike him, how everyone integrated the fact that he’s a bs human being and act like it’s normal and it’s a reason to like/love him. Bellamy has changed a lot from s1 to s4, I’ve never seen him NOT atone or try to do better after his screw-ups. That’s the main difference to me. Starting as a certain person, distrusting the others, okay, it’s one thing. Never buging from that? Nop. Several characters showed a lot of care for Mur.hy and he never did (apart from the very last moments of 413 so who knows, maybe coming from that, my PoV will change, but from s1 to s4 my PoV never changed on him). I honestly like the idea of the show integrating a character like this in the story, it’s “different”, yes. It’s just not characters I like and/or relate to. I also feel like the writers don’t (didn’t? until now) know how to put him in a narrative close to the people he could evolve with (because they... didn’t want him to evolve?). He was just alone on lots of times, aaand very often, sadly for him, related to SLs I didn’t like (Polis, Jaha’s quest, the mansion and all). I don’t like the “in it only for myself” kinds of characters. (if it can help, I also disliked both Bellamy and Kane when they seemed to be “just that” as well... but they evolved). 25. If one of the characters was in the Hunger Games, who would have the best shot at winning? NOOOOO ALREADY SO MUCH DEATH NOOOO One of the Grounders most likely. And unless it would be Lincoln then I wouldn’t care. 26. Least favorite ship? Favorite ship? NOT INCLUDING CL OR BC anything including Octagon. Also anything including Finn. My favorite ship is Bellarke and I ain’t gonna bend the truth *shrugs* I care very little about any other ships on here lmao (except Monty and Harper, they have my thumbs up). 27. A song that should be included in the next season, like when Radioactive was? If there had to be another guest star like Shawn Mendes on the show, who would you want to make a cameo? Some Olafur Arnalds, let’s suffer. 28. What would you do if you were stuck in the bunker with Murp.y for all that time? Honestly? All the data he had about the past in that thing? I would have watched it all. (or did it have only the one video with ALIE and Becca? I don’t remember) 29. Opinion on Emori? Roan? I loved Roan when he was an ally, but I do think he had a manipulative side that he played on Clarke a lot. I think he could have had way more potential than what they did with him. As for Emori... I like her, I’m glad she’s still alive as in, I hope they’ll delve into her more to make me like her more. Because I liked how she started to develop a “care” for Clarke and the others after ep408. Before that, I also didn’t like her, the “Bonnie and Clyde” thing she had with Murp.y didn’t interest me. 30. Would you want to be an extra that is killed off in a brutal way? Eh, yeah why not. 31. A character you’d like to learn more about and get flashbacks of? MONTY, I mean? Why did he never get flashbacks?? Also Harper, Miller, Jackson, idk the Sky People ya kno. 32. A character you’d bang? Look, “Satisfied Girl” and Bree are my girls goal. @head-and-heart @bellamynochillblake @bellsbeard @captainheroism @grumpybell @bellamyslaugh @perhalta @bobnorley @foolish-nymeria ehhh if anyone else wants to do it, let’s go!

#ask games #about me #also sorry to anyone who likes mrphy lmao #i don't #and ya kno since i'm not that vocal about it #let's say i'm nice and u shouldn't unfollow me

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techcrunchappcom · 5 years ago

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New Post has been published on https://techcrunchapp.com/coronavirus-white-house-targets-us-disease-chief-dr-anthony-fauci-bbc-news/

Coronavirus: White House targets US disease chief Dr Anthony Fauci - BBC News

Image copyright Reuters

US infectious disease chief Dr Anthony Fauci is being targeted by the Trump administration as tensions rise between the health expert and the president.

The White House has been increasingly critical of Dr Fauci, and on Sunday, an official shared a list detailing past apparent erroneous comments.

Dr Fauci’s changing advice on masks and remarks on Covid-19’s severity are among the points from the White House.

The move to undercut him comes as the US continues to see surges in Covid-19.

There are over 3.3 million cases confirmed and more than 135,000 deaths nationwide, according to Johns Hopkins University.

Dr Fauci has contradicted President Donald Trump’s comments on the pandemic a number of times, pushing back on the president’s claims that the outbreak is improving and attributing hasty state re-openings to the recent surges.

Living in Florida and Texas as virus cases surge

Why we should all be wearing masks

The White House memo leaked over the weekend had noted “several White House officials are concerned about the number of times Dr Fauci has been wrong on things”.

Though the White House said Dr Fauci and Mr Trump have a “good working relationship” on Monday, Trump adviser Peter Navarro told CBS News: “When you ask me if I listen to Dr Fauci’s advice, my answer is only with caution.”

What has the White House said?

White House Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany on Monday told reporters the memo was a “direct response to a direct question” from the Washington Post.

“The notion that there’s opposition research and that there’s Fauci versus the president couldn’t be further from the truth,” she said. “Dr Fauci and the president have always had a very good working relationship.”

Echoing the contents of the memo earlier, Mr Navarro, an economic adviser to Mr Trump, said Dr Fauci “has been wrong about everything I have ever interacted with him on”.

“When I warned in late January in a memo of a possibly deadly pandemic, Fauci was telling the media not to worry,” he said.

Mr Navarro said Dr Fauci fought against Mr Trump’s “courageous decision” to halt flights from China, initially said the virus was “low-risk”, “flip-flopped on the use of masks” and said there was “only anecdotal evidence” regarding hydroxychloroquine as a treatment.

“Now Fauci is saying that a falling mortality rate doesn’t matter when it is the single most important statistic to help guide the pace of our economic reopening.”

Media playback is unsupported on your device

Media captionThe lost six weeks when the US failed to control the virus

Admiral Brett Giroir, assistant US health secretary and member of the virus task force, told NBC News on Sunday that while he respects Dr Fauci, he is not always right.

“Dr Fauci is not 100% right and he also doesn’t necessarily, he admits that, have the whole national interest in mind. He looks at it from a very narrow public health point of view.”

The face of America’s fight against Covid-19

Mr Trump on Monday retweeted comments from a game show host accusing “everyone”, including the US Centers for Disease Control (CDC) of lying about the coronavirus.

Last week, the president told Fox News Dr Fauci was “a nice man but he’s made a lot of mistakes”.

As cases and deaths continue to rise in a number of states, Mr Trump has been accused by critics of politicising health issues, including wearing masks.

Mr Trump has also clashed with the World Health Organization (WHO), accusing the body of mismanaging the pandemic when it began and failing to make “greatly needed reforms”.

On 7 July, he formally began to pull the US out of the WHO and said funding would be redirected.

A White House at war with its own experts

Donald Trump has often railed against newspapers that publish anonymous quotes from administration aides critical of the president. Over the weekend, however, the White House was using its own unnamed “officials” in a remarkable attack on a member of its coronavirus task force, top infectious disease expert Anthony Fauci.

The White House even provided a list of Fauci’s old statements about the virus similar to the kind of memo a campaign might use to direct negative attention on a political opponent. The administration, it appears, is trying to paint Fauci as wrong about the early threat of the virus and, consequently, untrustworthy when he questions the administration’s current analysis of the current situation and its planned actions.

As if that wasn’t enough, on Monday morning the president retweeted a post by former game show host Chuck Woolery, accusing the Centers for Disease Control, among others, of lying about the virus in an effort to undermine the Trump’s re-election prospects.

An administration at war with its own scientific and medical experts in the middle of a pandemic that is once again on the upswing makes developing a cohesive strategy – one that the public trusts and will follow – challenging, to say the least.

More from Anthony: Things US has got wrong – and got right

What has Fauci said?

Dr Fauci has not weighed in on the White House memo, but he has remarked on his recent lack of television appearances.

“I have a reputation, as you probably have figured out, of speaking the truth at all times and not sugar-coating things,” he told the Financial Times on 10 July. “And that may be one of the reasons why I haven’t been on television very much lately.”

Dr Fauci also said he has not seen Mr Trump in-person since 2 June and has not briefed him for the last two months.

The infectious disease chief has instead been appearing on livestreams and podcasts.

On 9 July, he told FiveThirtyEight: “As a country, when you compare us to other countries, I don’t think you can say we’re doing great. I mean, we’re just not.”

The chaplains on the coronavirus frontlines

What is the true death toll of the coronavirus pandemic?

Dr Fauci will participate in a livestream with Stanford University Medical School on Monday afternoon, local time.

What does the public think?

A New York Times/Siena College poll at the end of June found 67% of US voters trusted Dr Fauci regarding the pandemic, with just 26% expressing trust in Mr Trump.

But there were stark divisions along party lines, with 66% of Republicans trusting Mr Trump and 51% expressing trust in Dr Fauci. Only 4% of Democrats said they trust Mr Trump, versus 81% for Dr Fauci.

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Media captionProtest, rally or eating out – Where is riskier?

Medical scientists in general remained the most trusted across all groups of voters, with 84% saying they provided accurate information.

A Pew Research Center study in May had found similar results, showing rising public confidence in health experts among Democrats but not Republicans.

The Association of American Medical Colleges on Monday issued a statement in support of Dr Fauci on Monday, saying taking his quotes “out of context to discredit his scientific knowledge and judgment will do tremendous harm to our nation’s efforts to get the virus under control, restore our economy and return us to a more normal way of life”.

Did Fauci get things wrong?

In February, Dr Fauci did not advise Americans change their behaviour due to the pandemic, but he did note the situation was evolving.

During an interview with the Today morning programme on 29 February, Dr Fauci said: “Although the risk is low now, you don’t need to change anything you’re doing, when you start to see community spread, this could change.”

At the time, there were fewer than 100 cases in the US.

In early March, Dr Fauci and other health officials did advise against having the public wear masks. He did, at the time, note that infected individuals should wear one to prevent spreading the disease.

Dr Fauci has defended his earlier comments on masks, citing new research and saying it was due to concerns over scarcity at the time for healthcare providers.

He has since strongly recommended wearing face coverings in public.

A career official, Dr Fauci has advised six Presidents – Republican and Democratic – on health issues, including the HIV/AIDs epidemic.

He has been the director of the National Institutes of Health Allergy and Infectious Diseases division since 1984.

#Uncategorized

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genrequeer · 7 years ago

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Life is Strange: Before the Storm Ep 3 - thoughts/sorta review

Spoilers be ahead - this isn’t going to be in any real kind of cohesive order, but there were several things that I’ve been thinking about re: this final episode that I wanted to get out of my system so I’m not stewing about them for days.

I’ll probably still stew anyway??? Anyway, thoughts under the cut:

So, I wanted to sit with this for a day before I actually wrote about it because I had too many feelings, but I still have a lot of feelings, so here goes:

I do want to say first off that I liked the episode overall. Most of this post is going to be critique, but that’s mainly because I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about ways that I would have liked the episode to be different. In what we were actually given, there was a lot going on re: deepening Rachel and Chloe’s relationship, and I liked that they actually made the whole Truth at Any Cost vs. Lying to Protect Your Loved Ones a major decision in the story, since it’s been building up in the plot for a while. I do wish they had continued the game a bit past that choice to really see the consequences of that Big Choice, but I appreciated that it was there.

To me, though, it felt a lot like the game was unfinished. A lot of plot points felt unexplored or unresolved, and decisions that were marked as Important in other episodes (or even in the same episode, i.e., accepting David’s photo or not) didn’t seem to have serious consequences later in the game. As someone who played the original LiS, where decisions in early acts (even smaller ones) showed up much later in the game as significant plot points, this was a letdown. How did the decision with Drew and Mikey from episode 2 actually end up impacting episode 3? Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong, since I’ve only played through once, but it seemed like there weren’t actually any big changes regarding what happens with Damon (besides the point of who ends up in the hospital). There were other examples of this as well, but I don’t want to spend this whole review exploring unresolved story arcs, or it would be way too long.

Also, did anyone else feel like they really took the foot off the gas with regards to some of Rachel and Chloe’s interactions? It really seemed like they went full throttle in episode 2, and then were like Oh Man We Made It Too Gay for episode 3.

Now, the post-credits scene - honestly, I’m still bitter about it. I couldn’t fall asleep for hours last night because my heart was still hurting. I know that they likely wanted to have an explicit tie-in between the prequel and the main game by bringing in the darkroom, but honestly, the way they did it was pretty sadistic and frankly, irresponsible. To take the audience from an emotional 100 (or 95, or whatever) where they’re feeling all warm and fuzzy about Chloe and Rachel’s relationship to a -100 of abject horror in the darkroom being reminded that Rachel gets murdered is pretty terrible. WLW have a long history of being put through scenarios like this in various forms of fiction, and the fact that DeckNine didn’t seem to consider that before ending the game the way they did is... ignorant at best. The only positive thing I have to say about this scene is that the visual tie-in between the photo booth montage and the darkroom was really well done.

Last things:

1) I KNEW Eliot was going to be a shitbag!!! I fucking KNEW IT!!! (for other people who have played: is he less of a shitbag if you actually interact with him? I spent the whole game deliberately avoiding him) 2) I liked the throwback to the plant from the original LiS, and actually cackled when I realized the choices were only “you killed the plant with soda” or “you killed the plant with neglect” 3) I really loved the soundtrack. I’ll definitely continue to listen to it outside of the game 4) Overall, I do think there was a lot to love about this game as a whole. The way Rachel and Chloe fell for each other felt so honest to me - that’s the main reason why I got so emotionally invested, and the main reason why I hurt so much when they brought back the darkroom at the end. 5) Well done, like really well done, to all the voice actors 6) I took like 80 screenshots of Rachel and Chloe being adorable over the course of this game

My thoughts about the game will probably continue to evolve as more time passes, but for now, I needed to write this because I still have a lot of Feelings

#life is strange #before the storm #life is strange bts #life is strange spoilers #before the storm spoilers

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adelaideattractions · 5 years ago

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11 days that destroyed Miley and Liam

Less than two weeks after a carefully-worded statement hit the press declaring that Hollywood sweethearts Liam Hemsworth and Miley Cyrus were separating, their attempt at keeping things amicable has been hit with a wrecking ball. It all started so respectfully. Our hearts were breaking from news that our favourite couple was on the rocks, but their press release offered plenty of hope that theyd one day reunite (again). Liam and Miley have agreed to separate at this time, a spokesman for Cyrus told People magazine on August 10. RELATED: Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworths pets post breakup RELATED: Miley Cyrus fired for buying Liam Hemsworth a penis cake RELATED: Miley Cyrus blasts cheating claims in a series of tweets Ever-evolving, changing as partners and individuals, they have decided this is whats best while they both focus on themselves and careers. They still remain dedicated parents to all of their animals they share while lovingly taking this time apart. Sometime between then and now, something snapped between the two, and Hemsworth suddenly filed for divorce citing irreconcilable differences. So whats the real story behind this increasingly messy split?

media_cameraPlenty of people hoped the pair would work things out. Picture: Jesse Grant/Getty Images for Disney REUNION HOPES The original statement was a shock, but it didnt take a relationship expert to work out that theyd intentionally used soft language like separate at this time and lovingly taking this time apart. These are not the words of two people certain that they want to be apart forever and history told us they were prone to a bit of on/off action. Cyrus and Hemsworth met as young lovebirds on the set of The Last Song in 2009 and got engaged in 2012 before breaking up two years later.

media_cameraThey met as teenagers on the set of The Last Song. Then in 2016, they reunited with another engagement and secretly wed in December at Cyrus house in Franklin, Tennessee.

media_cameraThe couple tied the knot in an intimate ceremony at home. Picture: Instagram According to most reports, things quickly soured and Hemsworth and Cyrus separated in June, but had decided to keep their time apart low-key and respectful until it hit the press. Once it did everything changed. THOSE ITALIAN PHOTOS First, there were the photos of Cyrus, 26, kissing reality TV star Kaitlynn Carter, 30, during a PDA-heavy Italian jaunt.

media_cameraPhotos were released of Carter (left) and Cyrus kissing.

media_cameraHemsworth was said to be blindsided by news of the fling. The photos were released just hours after news broke of the separation, providing a jarring double-blow of a shock to fans and by many accounts, to Hemsworth himself, who was holed up with his brothers family in Byron Bay at the time. As the days rolled on and amid growing feverish speculation and whispers of infidelity, Hemsworth took the bold step of releasing a statement via Instagram. But from there, things took a nasty turn. THE BLAME GAME Suddenly, after weeks of staying quiet, sources from both camps were weaponised, hurtling barbs and thinly-veiled accusations at each other. Far from keeping us in the dark with their amicable and loving time apart, Cyrus and Hemsworth were via their sources increasingly trying to one-up each other in the blame game.

media_cameraCyrus posted a series of Instagram shots from Italy as news broke of the split. Given Cyrus occasionally wild past and the telling interview she gave with Elle in July, plenty of people assumed that a major factor in the split was her desire to revert back to her partying ways. I mean, do people really think that Im at home in a f***ing apron cooking dinner? I definitely dont fit into a stereotypical wife role. I dont even like that word, she told the magazine. PARTYING LIFESTYLE But as that narrative quickly began to form, TMZ published quotes attributed to a source on Cyrus side, insisting that it was actually the opposite. According to the outlet, the Malibu singer battled valiantly to save her and Hemsworths seven-month marriage but struggled to accept his heavy drinking and use of certain drugs a claim which he has since denied. People magazine also published a scathing story claiming that Cyrus had tried to kerb his partying and that he would lash out at her. Everyone always thinks Miley is problematic and immature and a hardcore partyer while hes this chill surfer dude, but thats actually (not accurate), People quoted a source as saying. That particular accusation may have eventually been drowned out amid all the other noise had it not been for the fact that just days later, Cyrus released a jaw-droppingly blunt song clearly aimed at Hemsworth.

media_cameraCyrus was back in the studio within days. Heres a snippet of Slide Away: I want my house in the hills Dont want the whiskey and pills I dont give up easily But I dont think Im down So wont you slide away Back to the ocean, Ill go back to the city lights Move on, were not 17 Im not who I used to be You say that everything changed Youre right, were grown now The message was clear: Cyrus wanted people to know it was Hemsworth, not she, who needed to grow up. [embedded content] IMMATURE STUNT But Team Hemsworth wasnt taking any of that lying down. It wasnt long before a friend of the Hunger Games star told Page Six that hed been blindsided and left heartbroken by the photos of his estranged wife and Carter. They are still married and they really did love each other. Shes really immature and always has been, a source said. One of Carters The Hills castmates, Brandon Thomas Lee, even weighed in on the drama, accusing the women of trying to mess with their exes (Carter also recently split from The Hills alum Brody Jenner). This whole is just so I dont know, I didnt want to even get involved with it, but it just seems so fake to me, Lee told E! News of Cyrus and Carters romance. Its just like, why? Theyre just obviously messing with their two ex-husbands. And theyre all friends! It just seems so ridiculous to me.

media_cameraJust a stunt? Picture: Instagram Page Six also claimed that people close to Hemsworth had revealed that Cyrus sources had been working overtime to paint (him) as the problem and that he was hurt by the coverage. Liam is one of the kindest, gentlest people out there. Him being wild or drunk or deadbeat is absolutely ridiculous, the source said, adding that the booze claims are 100 per cent a distraction from Cyrus alleged infidelity. MAKING IT PERMANENT Exactly eleven days after announcing their tentative separation, Hemsworth hired famed lawyer Laura Wasser and abruptly filed for divorce from Cyrus. Liam is just done with it. There is no turning back and he knows he wants to move on, E! News quoted an insider as saying. They have not had a lot of communication. There is nothing to say. So what made him break things off for good? Slide Away cant have helped, nor would reports of Cyrus basically having sex with Carter at an LA club last week. Either way, the events of the past couple of weeks flipped the relationship from separated at this time- to dead in the water. MILEY HITS OUT Perhaps it was the shock at his sudden filing that made Cyrus finally flip or maybe she was just desperate to finally defend herself publicly but after that, the words came tumbling out via a lengthy Twitter thread. I can accept that the life Ive chosen means I must live completely open and transparent with my fans who I love, and the public, 100% of the time, she began. What I cannot accept is being told Im lying to cover up a crime I havent committed. I have nothing to hide.

media_cameraThe singer denied the cheating claims. Picture: Instagram I f**ked up and cheated in relationships when I was young, she wrote. But the truth is, once Liam & I reconciled, I meant it, & I was committed. There are NO secrets to uncover here. Ive learned from every experience in my life. Im not perfect, I dont want to be, its boring. Ive grown up in front of you, but the bottom line is, I HAVE GROWN UP. I can admit to a lot of things but I refuse to admit that my marriage ended because of cheating. Liam and I have been together for a decade. Ive said it before & it remains true, I love Liam and always will. WHAT NOW? The only good news out of the situation is that the couple had a prenup, and with no requests for spousal support, the divorce should be finalised quickly a rarity in Hollywood. The agreement reportedly outlines a clear separation of their profits during the marriage, with both Cyrus and Hemsworth retaining the homes they individually purchased. Unfortunately for all the hopeless romantics following the Hemsworth/Cyrus love story over the past decade unlike other times, this breakup is likely to stick. Think about it: Cyrus and Hemsworth called off their engagement and split up back in 2013, but managed to maintain mutual respect and affection publicly in the years that followed prior to their eventual reunion. This time? Not so much and divorce has a finality to it that rarely offers a point of return. Originally published as 11 days that destroyed Miley and Liam https://www.adelaidenow.com.au/entertainment/celebrity/how-miley-cyrus-and-liam-hemsworths-amicable-split-turned-so-ugly/news-story/e0d2c9eefb3e60afa4deb532609a2bea?from=htc_rss

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adelaidecity · 5 years ago

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11 days that destroyed Miley and Liam

media_cameraThey met as teenagers on the set of The Last Song. Then in 2016, they reunited with another engagement and secretly wed in December at Cyrus house in Franklin, Tennessee.

media_cameraPhotos were released of Carter (left) and Cyrus kissing.

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tumblunni · 8 years ago

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HEYO! oh man now my friend helped me get all inspired again for working on my Cathedral Tower Defense game so WOO lets have another long post of miscellaneous ideasies for storyness! may not be very coherant tho cos i am super tired and ill! but happy!! THANKS SUMMON-DAZE FOR BEING MY ULTRA BESTIE

* Okay now I am super sure that I’m gonna let you choose the gender of the protagonist! And I wanna keep it so that their name is Amity either way, cos that’s kinda stuck in my mind. Surname Amity, player gets to decide the first name, but people will still be calling you Amity a lot at first cos you start off all awkward and formal with everybody. You’re a newcomer to this cathedral town and nobody knows whether to trust you, from their perspective you’re this dangerous person theyre forced to accept just because they need you to help protect them, whether you’re good or bad. They’re all worried what price they might have to pay for this, trying to figure out how to minimize the damage if you turn on them... and its not like they’re bad people for being untrustworthy, they’re just scared people huddling in a church and trying to keep their families safe at any cost. So try and prove your worth to them, and help them learn to protect themselves too, and make this ramshackle settlement into a real home! ....anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, gender selection is a good! And it could be relatively easy to impliment too, cos of the situation. Doesnt even necessarily have to be a menu or anything, it could just be like sir amity/lady amity/master amity. Cos you’re this paladin knighto, itd make sense for them to ask for your title. And it could just be like a shot of protagonist’s badass silhouette in the gateway of the cathedral and then you get the dialogue choice to pick your identity, and its all Super Cool~!

* It also actually gives me more of an idea of what i could do for their design, like I dunno maybe they have some sort of face-concealing helm or headdress or something. I was just thinking of them being dressed like a generic nun or princess but maybe emphasize more on the knight aspect instead of the holy part? So like anyway, maybe they have a very all-concealing outfit and that could be the framing of the first scene instead, its like *pulls off the mask and you’re into the character selection screen* Orrrrrr maybe there doesnt need to be any magical setup for a gender selection and it can just be a menu before the first scene starts XD Or maybe you have a cool face-concealing helmet thing anyway, like all three gender options just have a different one, lol

* More random magical names i got via the cool name generator site summon-daze linked to me! Dunno if I’ll actually use any of these but im writing them down here so i dont forget. Berebath, Betnia, Amurziz, Jetre, Miemahl, Semdach, Batxahl, Sidefarch, Botolohn, Vausach, Thammoch, Droibhal, Lekonach, Zeidhal, Tieloch, Rabrohm, Maesur, Smoiroch, Baelbuhr, Axoth, Jige, Chushou, Hukru, Nejeget, Roucu, Jinah, Aujus, Yekoth, Nugresah, Israfel, Jabriel, Tabris, Douma

* Also I’m remembering Jade Cocoon and how I liked that the different ‘families’ of monsters shared naming traits. Like how all those weird snake/slug cutiepies that i loved best were nushab, rashab, etc etc. And tamatoch and somethingtoch and so on. I think there was at least one where the modifier was a prefix too? I dunno why i’m talking about this, but there you go. I just think if i wanna do full original made up names for demon species then i wanna make em stuff that just... feels like that. I dont actually wanna make like five different elements of each one tho, i wanna have only one per element and then they have like two different higher level finalized forms. Like, the human characters can have two job classes each and the demons can have two specializations within an element. That helps me think about how to limit it down to four or five elements, if we can combine common fantasy elements together! And yeah I was thinking it’d be cool if the demon ‘job classes’ could have their own evolving appearances and new names!

* Thoughts for the ol elemental groupings! The only one I really have finalized is grass + poison = same thing. Florin, why u always the character that gets developed faster than everyone else XD And I’m thinking giving them their own made up names would make it easier! Like how in SMT you have spells being stuff like ‘media’ and ‘agi’ instead of cure and fire. But here (hopefully) it’d be easier to memorize cos its just the element names that’re fantasy words, and the attacks themselves would be a little more self explanatory. i just think it’d work cos like... the idea i had of rock and fire being one single demon type, you could just call that magma. But i mean, what can you call plant + poison? Except.. like.. plant. Cos poison is reasonably often a grass type skill anyway. And i mean, game creators dont often worry about making sense, what with how ‘grass’ is the common element name when thats just one plant in a million. I cant stop thinking about that now I’ve noticed it! I legit thought grass was a synonym for plant when i was a kid, i learned to read from pokemon yellow... ANYWAY IM GETTING OFFTOPIC AGAIN The other idea I had for groupings was fire + non-elemental together? I was just thinking like... aura. Non elemental/physical attack as a ‘magic’ could be fighting spirit! And thematically speaking it tends to be shown as fire effects in anime, i guess XD But then i couldnt put fire with rock and that means I’d have to redesign malachi again. his design ended up looking more firey than rocky :P Another idea is maybe darkness + non-elemental together? like, interpret non-elemental as ‘void’. Or light and dark could be together actually, that could be an interesting way to do it, instead of having them opposing. Like maybe the elements could be colours! Grey element, able to specialize into white or black but neither is any sort of ‘good and evil’. And then the rest could be like green or like.. instead of red maybe fire could be bronze and thats why it has rock skills too? or man, maybe rock and metal could be one element and fire could be grouped with something else. And would water and ice be too ordinary and boring? do they already kinda count as one element? should I throw in something else? GAHHHHHHH

* Ideas for the multiple religious groups aligned with each element! I’m thinking I want one of them to interpret the setting’s absent god as two deities. like, every perspective on this deity is a wildly different character, this one is just even more so! they’d see malahat (tentative name) as two people, but kinda more like a shared soul that can manifest as either a male or female form. But there’d be ambiguity and debates in the mythos over whether this is actually a genderfluid god, or if its ‘twins who were cursed to never exist at the same time’, or various other variations on the story. I wanna make it like real life, where even within (for example) catholocism, there’s different sects and different translations of the same text. And where there’s predjudice against minority groups and people like to twist their faith to ‘justify’ it, even when parts of the original tale could easily justify treating those people with kindness too. So there’d be some followers of the twins religion who are very openminded to LGBTQ people, and historically anyone trans was able to hold a unique position as a priest, being treated as someone blessed by god. But like in norse mythology, this wasnt necessarily a sign that society was 100% okay with LGBTQ people. Its kinda depressing to read about how trans women and gay men were considered the only people able to become a specific kind of witches, but also how you kinda HAD to take this one safety net in society to stop people from making you an outcast. It was like ‘make them fear me so they dont fuckin kill me’. You had to become a medicine person and at least claim to believe in these magic powers, you had to be blessed by the gods to prove you were like.. one of the good ones. Otherwise its like youre saying the gods made a mistake when they made you, or youre choosing to be a deviant against nature. i can only imagine how terrifying it must have been if you believed in that religion and had to like.. be forced to go against it and leave society, or be forced to lie about being chosen by a god for a higher purpose, while believing that any moment you might get struck down for lying. And then I read in other history books about how the concept of homosexuality was far different in that old society too, how male-on-male sex was accepted at sea as long as you were the dominant one and you were forcing something unwanted onto a lesser shipmate as punishment. Like ugh, rape being more socially accepted than consensual LGBTQ relationships! I guess the only solace is that we can never be 100% sure how much of historians’s theories are correct and what might have changed in retellings of history, but honestly I can believe the past is this fucked up when the present is already fucked up in different ways. BUT ANYWAY I wanna explore those themes in my story maybe. And I wanna do more research into the subject to make sure I’m doing it justice, even though its a very sad subject that might be quite stressful. Maaaaan, I remember how I used to obsess about researching norse myth as a kid, it was one of my first Special Interests and I really wanted to see all the different reinterpretations of Loki and write my own fanfic/adaptation/vaguely inspired original story about What If He Stayed A Good Guy. Man I had soooo much sympathy for the poor sod. I mean it depends on the retelling whether he was always evil or whether he was like a comedic neutral ally to the gods who just abruptly becomes evil and gets killed off without remorse in the final story. And gahhh he’s like the biggest LGBTQ bastion in the whole mythos, and how can I not feel sympathetic?? When we get all these stories about him being a literal genderfluid shapeshifter and giving birth to half of his children and just like seriously its like The Story Of the One Trans Man In Homophobic Transphobic Valhalla and he was probably meant to seem Bad and Funny and whatever but im gonna sit here and grumpily cling onto the idea that he was deliberately written as trans, or that if these gods actually do exist out there somewhere then Loki would support me. *pout* I just have a lot of good memories of how this was like the first sign of me realizing my own gender, back when I first learned about Loki in school and then devoured every damn history book about the dude. And got in a million internet pissing matches about how innacurate the marvel version was XD Also it sucks that we like to believe that modern times are always 100% more enlightened in every way, yet its modern adaptations that always censor out the bits about him shifting gender identities and getting pregnant once. ... man this has gone offtopic too much, im really tired but seriously its funny how teenage bunni had NO CLUE they were nonbinary, no clue why they got so obsessed researching gender-defying mythological figures and historians who created gender neutral pronouns in the 1800s. i was so supernaturally oblivious, holy shit...

#cathedral tower defense

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