#the way people act as if season 8 was this huge drop off... comical!!

[cinephile-at-heart]

honestly what a plot twist that i spent the last four seasons complaining about game of thrones while it was on but now feel the need to defend it when people hyperbolically say how bad the ending was.

[turtlethon]

“Raphael Knocks ‘Em Dead”

Season 4, Episode 15 First US Airdate: September 8, 1990

A visit to a comedy club leads to Raphael being kidnapped.

The second episode of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles to air as part of the Saturday morning line-up on CBS is “Raphael Knocks ‘Em Dead”. This is the second half of a double bill with David Wise’s “Son of Return of the Fly II”, and is the first episode credited to the other Executive Story Editor for this season, Jack Mendelsohn.

In the Lair, Donatello is hooking up a huge (at least by 1990 standards) new TV that will allow the team to choose from 112 channels. Trying it out for the first time, we briefly see what appears to be a pre-mutation Baxter Stockman show up on-screen. Put a pin in this, because what feels like a minor Easter egg for keen viewers will actually have a pay-off later.

The team argue about what to watch first, and eventually decide to draw straws, with whoever gets the short one being declared the winner. Raphael is victorious, and the others leave him to enjoy his show on his own, opting to head out for pizza instead.

Raph is in hysterics as he watches a stand-up routine by a hacky comedian, and muses to himself that he could be a great entertainer if he wasn’t weighed down by the responsibilities of being a crime-fighter. On-screen, the comic, Joey, suddenly vanishes. The club’s proprietor, Mr. Bigelow, rushes on-stage to quell the boos of the audience.

April calls in to confirm what Raphael has just seen unfold – that the club, the House of Ha-Ha, has reportedly seen a number of comedians mysteriously disappearing while performing. Raph agrees to visit the establishment and investigate.

Sneaking into the building from below via a sewer entrance, Raphael is mistaken by a customer for a waiter. The man demands to know where his order is, leading to Raph dropping a manhole cover on his table and destroying it. Remember when the Turtles used to go out of their way to wear disguises and try to not attract attention? It seems like they don’t bother anymore, although I can’t blame them when somehow people continually just assume they’re “guys in funny green costumes”.

From the sidelines Raphael watches as another corny comedian, Shecky, takes pot-shots at members of the audience. As with Joey before him, the lights go out and when they come back, Shecky is gone. Mr. Bigelow tries to drag the next comedian on-stage, but after seeing this unfold, he runs for the exit instead. With no other options to hand, he spots Raphael and sends him out to perform next.

Back in the Lair, the other Turtles return to find the TV left on. To their astonishment, Raphael is performing live, doling out turtle-related jokes that get a warm reception from the patrons. Across town at Channel 6, April and Vernon also watch the act. As you might expect, April is a big fan, with Vernon much more critical, insisting that he can make people laugh too. He goes on to do so inadvertently by falling backwards in his chair, much to April’s amusement.

As the act continues, Mr. Bigelow talks to a gangster type called Pinky McFingers, begging him not to kidnap any more of the performers. McFingers is unrepentant, and as if to rub it in Bigelow’s face, makes a point of having the lights go out and Raphael vanish as the first act ends.

April contacts the Turtles to alert them to Raphael’s disappearance. As per her suggestion, they head to the House of Ha-Ha to investigate what happened. Meanwhile, Raph is tied in a sack and tossed into the trunk of a limo, which drives off to the hideout of Pinky McFingers.

A weird bit of footage follows of the other Turtles searching the sewers to find a way in to the House of Ha-Ha. It seems to have been slowed down, and the sound effects coupled with the dialogue suggest there was supposed to be some animation here of Leonardo doing something that causes him to lose his footing. Not sure if this scene got mangled due to a network note necessitating a change or the footage was unusable; given the flakiness of the animation in places during this episode, I’m going to guess the latter.

April pleads her case to Burne, asking him to grant her permission to report on the strange goings on at the House of Ha-Ha. Channel 6’s boss insists she file a report on the botanical gardens instead, much to her chagrin. Also present is Vernon, who rats April out, explaining that her interest in the comedy club is due to her “weird Turtle friends” being involved. Burne is furious upon learning this, pointing out that he’s “still paying off bills from the last story involving those green menaces”. (This actually tracks, given that they had to destroy some of the computer systems he bought during the previous episode.) He insists she head to the gardens instead, tossing her a giant can of insect repellent just in case.

Later, April and Vernon head out in the news van. When Vernon points out they’re not even heading towards the botanical gardens, April exits the van, leaving her co-worker to cover that story himself, with the explanation that “in my book, Turtles a lot more important than a bunch of moths”.

Still in transit, Raphael uses his sai blades to slice through the sack holding him. When the underlings working for McFingers open the trunk, they’re greeted with a kick to the face. Raph ties up the goons before giving their boss the same treatment. Heading upstairs, he finds a laboratory where Schecky and Joey are being held in hi-tech chairs connected to a large machine.

McFingers and his men are able to free themselves and confront Raphael, capturing him with a large net. Meanwhile, April arrives at the House of Ha-Ha and tries to get information about what occurred from a very defensive Mr. Bigelow. Arriving at the same time are the Turtles, with Michaelangelo chewing the club owner out for his rudeness. When pressed further about what happened, Bigelow uses his remote to make himself vanish.

At the old house serving as his hideout, Pinky McFingers has Raphael placed in a chair connected to the same machine as the two comedians. He explains that they’re going to be used in an experiment before revealing his partner in this project. A pre-mutation Baxter Stockman – albeit with redder hair than his usual sandy blond – emerges from behind a door.  

Raphael is understandably astonished by this development, as I’m sure are all the regular viewers watching at home. It turns out that this is actually Baxter’s identical brother Barney Stockman, who begins hopping up and down in a rage upon being mistaken for his sibling. Barney goes on to explain – for the benefit of the comedians and for any uninitiated viewers – that his brother “botched an experiment and turned himself into a fly”, which is a little unfair given that Krang did that to Baxter entirely against his will. I’m not sure how Barney knows any of this as there’s been no obvious point in the timeline where the Stockman family would have learned of Baxter’s fate, or the circumstances leading to it; my best guess is they pieced it together after the last episode, during the takeover of Channel 6.

After Pinky intervenes to calm his associate down, Barney goes on to reveal his invention, the Gag-A-Magnifer. (“It increases the comedy power of jokes by six thousand percent!”) When a funny comedian is hooked up to the machine, the magnified jokes will be transmitted throughout the city, rendering everyone helpless via excessive laughter. With the populace incapacitated, McFingers and his men will go on a crime spree, stealing anything and everything they want.

Joey and Scheckles bicker over whose jokes would be more effective when hooked up to the machine. McFingers forces both to perform their best material, but neither is able to come up with anything that boosts the system to maximum capacity. Finally, Raphael is put on the spot. He serves up another Turtle-themed gag that performs well on the Gag-A-Magnifier. Raphael is selected for the project, but refuses to co-operate any further. McFingers and Stockman demonstrate what will happen if he doesn’t comply, using the machine to psychically throttle Joey and Sheckie in their seats, and Raph reluctantly agrees.

Raphael begins reciting a rapid-fire series of turtle gags, and the citizens of New York are seen falling to the ground, paralysed with laughter. The criminals head out on the town, all wearing some faintly ridiculous looking “joke masks” to protect them from the waves. They raid a series of banks, emerging carrying sacks with dollar signs on them in classic cartoon fashion. In a particularly stupid visual gag, one of Pinky’s goons somehow steals the Mona Lisa, but is confused as to why it’s now laughing instead of smiling.

More nonsense follows. The Turtles and April drive through town in the Turtle Van (which, we’re told, has had a “soundwave modifier” installed to render everyone inside immune to the magnifier’s rays). Everyone speculates about the location of Pinky McFingers before Burne calls April on... the Turtle Van’s car phone?! 

Burne is his usual apoplectic self and only becomes angrier upon learning that April bailed on the story she was assigned to do. At that exact moment the rays from the Gag-A-Magnifier hit his office, leaving him too busy laughing to punish her. Meanwhile Donatello matches an old voice clip of Raph to the transmissions; somehow this allows the Turtle Van’s computer to trace the location of the criminal hideout.

McFingers and his men return to home base, carelessly dumping all the valuables they acquired in a nearby corner. Raph asks to be let go now that they have what they wanted, but it’s explained to him that this is just the start: tomorrow he’ll be tasked with performing new material so the crooks can rob the National Mint. At this point the Turtles barge in, brandishing their weapons and declaring that they’ll have the last laugh; notably, Mikey is whirling his nunchucks around rather than the grappling hook for the first time in a while, although he never goes so far as to do anything useful with them.

The Turtles stop dead in their tracks upon seeing what appears to be a de-mutated Baxter Stockman. Barney fumes some more about being mistaken for his brother before activating a ray to paralyse our heroes in what makes for a very cool-looking sequence.

In what’s maybe only the third most ridiculous thing to occur in the final act of this episode, Raphael is able to knock one of the machine’s levers to adjust its settings by kicking two of the coins scattered on the ground across the room. He encourages Shecky to begin telling some of his awful jokes, which causes the bad guys to fall around laughing. April then arrives with a team of police officers, who are finally able to apprehend the elusive crime boss.

We wrap things up in the Lair, where Raph performs some of his gags to the other Turtles, who remain less than impressed. He warns that he might purchase Barney Stockman’s machine, but Donatello counters that if he does, they’ll buy the House of Ha-Ha's trap door.

Eighty episodes into the show’s run, I think my general disdain for non-Shredder outings is no secret at this point. It must be said though that if every story was a frantic adventure with the fate of the world at stake, TMNT would quickly become exhausting. Episodes like “Raphael Knocks ‘Em Dead” are valuable in allowing us to catch our collective breath, particularly given that this aired on the same morning as the action-packed “Son of Return of the Fly II”. These single character spotlight episodes will become a regular fixture moving forward, perhaps in order to maintain that variety. If nothing else, this is a much more effective stab at that concept than “Michelangelo Toys Around” was during the syndicated run.

The reveal of Baxter’s brother Barney is by far the most entertaining aspect of this episode, although for once I fully understand why he doesn’t appear again beyond this episode: outlining to casual viewers how the guy that got mutated into a fly is somehow back but actually isn’t each time would truly be more trouble than it’s worth. Just trying to keep track of the real Baxter’s many misfortunes across his irregular appearances is enough work as it is.

Pinky McFingers is your typical TMNT mob boss character, effectively a less entertaining variant on Don Turtelli as he doesn’t even have the feather tickling gimmick. Peter Renaday provides the voice which is largely identical to the one he used for Turtelli, which if enough to make me wonder why they didn’t use that character instead; even his henchmen are poor imitations of Bruce and Rodney, this time not even worthy of being assigned actual names. This guy has absolutely nothing going for him, and yet... he comes back, repeatedly. There are FOUR more Pinky McFingers appearances to come. I am continually baffled by the decisions made by the showrunners that see great characters with future storytelling potential used once, while the absolute worst assortment of losers and nobodies return multiple times (Zach, Howie, Fripp, the Neutrinos and now this guy). I guess the continued success of the series despite these terrible choices is part of what makes it interesting.

NEXT TIME: The Boys are back in town as Bebop and Rocksteady Conquer the Universe!

[lokiondisneyplus]

For his entire tenure as an Avenger, Anthony Mackie had never been the first name on the call sheet.

In a galaxy of stars populated by Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans and Scarlett Johansson, the actor was aware of his place in the on-set pecking order, but would never miss an opportunity to make his presence felt.

“Number six on the call sheet has arrived!” Mackie would routinely shout on films like “Captain America: Civil War” and the box office-busting “Infinity Saga” sequels, according to Marvel chief creative officer Kevin Feige.

It exemplifies the sort of winning tone that the 42-year-old actor has brought to his superhero character the Falcon, aka Sam Wilson, for six movies from the top-earning studio — wry and collegial humor, with the potential to turn explosive at any moment. Both Mackie and his character are set to burn brighter than ever when the Disney Plus series “The Falcon and the Winter Soldier” lands on March 18.

On that call sheet, “Anthony is No. 1,” Feige is happy to report, “but it still says ‘No. 6.’ He kept it because he didn’t want it to go to his head.” The series is essentially a two-hander with his friend and longtime co-star Sebastian Stan, the titular soldier. All six episodes were produced and directed by Emmy winner Kari Skogland (“The Handmaid’s Tale,” “The Loudest Voice”). The series, for which combined Super Bowl TV spot and trailer viewership earned a record-breaking 125 million views this year, is reported to have cost $150 million in total.

For Mackie, though, the show comes at a critical time for both his career and for representation in the MCU. Sam Wilson is graduating from handy wingman (Falcon literally gets his job done with the use of mechanical wings), having been handed the Captain America shield by Evans in the last “Avengers” film. While it’s unclear if he will formally don the superhero’s star-spangled uniform moving forward (as the character did in a 2015 comic series), global fandoms and the overall industry are still reeling from the loss of Chadwick Boseman, who portrayed Marvel’s Black Panther to culture-defining effect. With this new story, Mackie will become the most visible African American hero in the franchise. And when asked whether he’ll be taking the mantle of one of its most iconic characters, he doesn’t exactly say no.

“I was really surprised and affected by the idea of possibly getting the shield and becoming Captain America. I’ve been in this business a long time, and I did it the way they said you’re supposed to do it. I didn’t go to L.A. and say, ‘Make me famous.’ I went to theater school, did Off Broadway, did indie movies and worked my way through the ranks. It took a long time for this shit to manifest itself the way it has, and I’m extremely happy about that,” Mackie says.

Feige says that, especially with the advent of Disney Plus and the freedom afforded long-form storytelling, the moment was right to give the Falcon his due.

“Suddenly, what had been a classic passing of the torch from one hero to another at the end of ‘Endgame’ became an opening up of our potential to tell an entire story about that. What does it really mean for somebody to step into those shoes, and not just somebody but a Black man in the present day?” says Feige.

Like many comic book heroes, Mackie has an origin story marked by tragedy at a young age — specifically around the loss of a parental figure. The New Orleans native is the youngest of six children from a tight-knit middle-class family, whose trajectory was spun into chaos when his mother was stricken with a terminal illness.

“It was unexpected and very untimely. I was 15 when she was diagnosed with cancer, and a few months later, she was gone. She passed the day before my ninth-grade graduation,” Mackie recalls. “If my mom wouldn’t have passed away when I was so young, I wouldn’t be where I am today.”

Mackie had already gravitated toward the performing arts before the loss of his mother, having enrolled at the pre-professional school New Orleans Center for Creative Arts. Like many young people grappling with trauma, Mackie says he began to act out. A core group of teachers helped get him out of trouble. Ray Vrazel, still an instructor at the school, personally drove the student to a Houston-based audition for the University of North Carolina School of the Arts, where he was accepted for his senior year of high school.

“Everything I did, I did for my mama. The idea of leaving home at 17 to go away to school would have never been an option if she was still around. She was my best friend. Losing her gave me a kind of strength, and a desire to succeed,” Mackie says.

Succeed he did. Spending that formative year as a minor on a college campus helped Mackie find his “tribe,” a misfit crew of artists and performers, which propelled him to acceptance at New York’s prestigious Juilliard School in 1997. There he was part of the breakthrough class of students of color to be chosen for the notoriously selective drama program, which Mackie says was liberating given the institution’s track record.

“Our year was a huge transition. There were hardly any Asian people in the drama program, maybe one or two Black people and hardly any Black women. In our class, we had three black women, two black men, one Native American, one Asian female, out of 20 people. Ever since then, the classes have been wildly diverse,” says Mackie, whose fellow students included stage and film star Tracie Thoms and actor Lee Pace.

Following his training, Mackie launched a staggeringly versatile career. He has played Tupac Shakur and Martin Luther King Jr. to similar acclaim, a juicehead bodybuilder in “Pain & Gain” and a homeless gay teen in the Sundance player “Brother to Brother.” He has exhibited remarkable staying power in an industry that often pigeonholes actors and has a pockmarked soul when it comes to inclusion.

“I was drawn to Anthony because of his electrifying ability to combine intensity with sensitivity, courage with compassion, and all of it comes across as inevitable, as if it could be no other way,” says Kathryn Bigelow, who directed him in the 2009 best picture Oscar winner “The Hurt Locker.”

Samuel L. Jackson, whom Mackie calls a mentor and has played alongside in several films, says he has “an innate quality that first and foremost makes everyone want to cast him.” On a recent idle Netflix search, Jackson came across Mackie’s latest sci-fi film, “Outside the Wire,” and it triggered a memory of sitting in the audience for his performance in the 2010 Broadway production of Martin McDonagh’s play “A Behanding in Spokane.”

“Watching him onstage, I thought, he’s a very adroit actor capable of putting on many hats. He’s fearless and will try to be anybody. Then, on my TV, he’s playing a nanobyte soldier or some shit,” Jackson says.

Though always humble about getting the next job, pre-Marvel Mackie was rarely offered pole position.

“There were certain pegs. My first was ‘8 Mile.’ It was a monumental step at the beginning of my career,” Mackie says of the 2002 Curtis Hanson film that elevated rapper Eminem to multi-hyphenate stardom.

“After that it was ‘Half Nelson.’ It blew up Ryan Gosling, so I was there to ride the wave. Then ‘The Hurt Locker,’ and it blew up Jeremy Renner. It was the joke for a long time — if you’re a white dude and you want to get nominated for an Oscar, play opposite me. I bring the business for white dudes,” says Mackie.

He remembers the sensation “Hurt Locker” caused during its awards season. It was a moment he thought would change everything as he stood on the stage of the Dolby Theatre with the cast and filmmakers, having just sipped from George Clooney’s flask while Halle Berry radiated a few rows away.

“I thought I would be able to move forward in my career and not have to jostle and position myself for work. To get into rooms with certain people. I thought my work would speak for itself. I didn’t feel a huge shift,” he says, “but I 100% think that ‘The Hurt Locker’ is the reason I got ‘Captain America.’”

He’s referring to “Captain America: The Winter Soldier,” the 2014 Marvel film that was the first to be directed by Joe and Anthony Russo (the current title holders for the highest-grossing film of all time with “Avenges: Endgame”). Mackie says that blockbuster not only gave him his largest platform to date but changed expectations of superhero movies forever.

“It was the first of the espionage, Jason Bourne-esque action movies at Marvel. After that, the movies shifted and had different themes and were more in touch with the world we live in, more grounded,” he says.

Bolstered by the words of another mentor, Morgan Freeman, Mackie feels no bitterness about his path.

“We did ‘Million Dollar Baby’ together, and when we were shooting this movie, I got offered a play. When you do Off Broadway, it’s $425 a week. In New York, that’s really $75 per week. I got a movie offer at the same time, and it was buckets of money. Three Home Depot buckets of money were going to be dropped off at my door,” Mackie says. “The script was awful; the whole thing was slimy. I went to Morgan’s trailer and asked him what he would do. He took a second and said, ‘Do the play. When Hollywood wants you, they’ll come get you. And when they come get you, they’ll pay for it.’ That blew my mind, and I left him that day with such a massive amount of confidence. He’s been a huge influence on me.”

He used the currency of that first Russo Brothers film and five subsequent ones to do what many creators and performers in Hollywood have done in recent years to help balance the scales of profit and representation in content: make things on his own.

Last year, Mackie produced and starred in “The Banker” — what would be Apple Studios’ first foray into original streaming film distribution and the awards landscape — through his banner Make It With Gravy. The film follows the true story of America’s first Black bankers and the white frontman they deployed to acquire the institution, all while supporting Black-owned businesses and communities in the process. A late-breaking scandal over sexual misconduct accusations involving the real-life family members of the film’s subjects delayed the release, overshooting awards-season deadlines and entangling the fledgling producer.

“It was a good lesson, and gave me a new perspective on the world around us. It’s very important to me that the women by my side are treated equally. It was a valuable lesson learned. I was very humbled by my sisters, for once not being mean to me,” he says.

Mackie is in development on the film “Signal Hill,” about the early days of lawyer Johnnie Cochran and the theater he brought to courtrooms long before the O.J. Simpson trial, and is hoping to secure the life story of civil rights pioneer Claudette Colvin as a vehicle for his directorial debut. Raising four sons of his own now, Mackie wants his off-screen work to make them well-rounded men.

“Look at Robin Williams,” he says. “He used to be crass and funny, and then he had kids, and he started doing all these family-friendly movies. Same thing with Eddie Murphy. I’m trying to curate my children’s experience with the things that I’ll be producing, rather than starring in. That’s what is most important. They know my job is my job; they know who I am. I’ve given up the idea of them ever thinking that I’m cool,” he says.

Jokes about the call sheet are among many of Mackie’s filming quirks. Jackson says that sets are often littered with hidden cigar stubs, to be fired up between takes or after long days. Bigelow says his rapport with crew has led to nights where the “clock was ticking but it was impossible to regain composure enough to shoot.” But according to Evans, no Mackie-ism is more famous than the phrase he bellows whenever his directors cut a scene: “Cut the check!”

Evans says this “will be forever associated with Mackie. I find myself saying it on sets all the time. I love it. But I’ll never be able to say it as well as him.”

As the man handing Mackie his armor, Evan says the Falcon’s “role within the Marvel universe has answered the call to action time and time again. He’s proven his courage, loyalty and reliability over multiple films. Sam has given so much, and he’s also lost a lot too. He believes in something bigger than himself, and that type of humility is necessary to carry the shield.”

The question of Sam Wilson’s humanity will be explored at length in “The Falcon and the Winter Soldier,” what Mackie calls a deeper showcase for both himself and Stan and their characters. It was a prospect that at first confused and frightened him.

“I didn’t think we could do on the television what we’d been doing on the big screen. I didn’t want to be the face of the first Marvel franchise to fail. Like, ‘See? We cast the Black dude, and now this shit is awful.’ That was a huge fear of mine, and also a huge responsibility with playing a Marvel character,” Mackie says.

He was quickly assuaged by the level of depth in the scripts from head writer Malcolm Spellman (“Empire,” “Truth Be Told”), especially when it came to the nuances of Wilson — a Black American man with no powers beyond his badass wings.

“Sam Wilson as played by Mackie is different than a Thor or a Black Panther, because he’s not from another planet or a king from another country,” Feige says. “He’s an African American man. He’s got experience in the military and doing grief counseling with soldiers who have PTSD. But where did he grow up? Who is his family? Mackie was excited to dig into it as this man, this Black man in particular, in the Marvel version of the world outside our window.”

Mackie celebrates Sam’s relatability in a universe full of mythological gods and lab-made enforcers. “I’m basically the eyes and ears of the audience, if you were put in that position where you could go out and fight alongside superheroes. It adds a really nice quality to him, that he’s a regular guy who can go out there and do special things,” Mackie says.

While bound by standard Marvel-grade secrecy, the actor confirms there have been no discussions of a second season for “The Falcon and the Winter Soldier.” As the majority of domestic movie theaters remain closed due to the coronavirus pandemic, he is equally unaware of the theatrical prospects for his Falcon character — or the Captain he may become by the end of this Disney Plus run. For now, he’s content to take up the mantle left by Boseman, a quietly understood pact of responsibility to Marvel-loving kids the world over.

“For Chad and I, [representation] was never a conversation that needed to be had because of our backgrounds. There was a hinted-at understanding between the two of us, because we’re both from humble beginnings in the South; we have very similar backgrounds. We knew what the game was. We knew going into it,” he says.

Outside comic book movies, Mackie is not done searching as a performer. There is a particular genre he would very much like to cut him a check.

“My team gets mad at me for saying this, but I would love to do a cheesy old-school ‘When Harry Met Sally’-type of project,” he says. “One of those movies where I’m working outside and have to take my shirt off because it’s too hot. I want a romantic comedy. I want to do every movie written for Matthew McConaughey that he passed on.”

[theseerasures]

Conspicuous Media Consumption, 2020

it’s that time of year again! *saddest toot from the party horn*

for those of you just joining us: it’s a “consume a different content every week for 48 weeks of the year” challenge. for a longer explanation, check out last year’s write-up here, and as always, feel free to pop in and ask questions about any and all of this content.

(same disclaimer as last year too: content for this project ONLY here, and not certain...*looks at my billion Sad Cop Lady posts*...hyperfixations.)

(man remember when i was big into X-Men comics earlier this year? better times than these, if only because no one's discoursing about Emma Frost’s woobie/war criminal ratio anymore--her w/w, if you will)

(...i swear at one point i didn’t exclusively like platinum blondes but alas)

Bitter Root (comic, 1 issue finished 1/1/2020): still very cool on a basic concept level, but runs into the Image Comics problem of just not having enough content to keep my interest beyond that. part of that is on me, for picking it up again BEFORE the second arc rolled out, but the first five issues didn’t really follow (or resolve) any cohesive story either, so...meh.

Immortal Hulk (comic, 3 trades finished 1/17/2020): still not gonna be something i care deeply about (maybe one of Bruce’s Hulksonas dyed his hair???), but i do want to give kudos to Al Ewing for sheer consistency in terms of sustaining this level of quality storytelling month by month for more than two years now. working with the dense archive of the Hulk mythos and managing to make it interesting and thoughtful is impressive even if i personally would not expend the same effort.

Disco Elysium (game, finished 1/18/2020): honestly i should have twigged onto what this year was gonna be like when the third thing i drew from the barrel was pure uncut Eastern European flavored depression. i faintly recall people ragging on it for being pretentiously cynical, but i actually thought its core slid more towards idealism than people give it credit for. also gratified that i haven’t heard anything about Robert Kurvitz using slave labor to finish it, which is a thing we have to say about our video games now!!! fun.

Watchmen (TV, 7 episodes finished 1/27/2020): i am a fool who wants to believe in Damon Lindelof and I WAS RIGHT!!! honestly still cannot believe that he pulled off this highwire act with such deft aplomb. might be my favorite TV this year, which is a pretty high bar given how much TV i ended up watching.

On a Sunbeam (comic, finished 2/1/2020): Tillie Walden rightly deserves all the praise for inventive queer storytelling, but i will say that on reread--since i first read this as a webcomic--there ARE some issues with pacing here that clearly come from the foibles of its original intended medium. still just excellent, even if after some plot significant haircuts i was having trouble telling a few folks apart.

Lazarus (comic, 1 trade finished 2/8/2020): it’s so good and i want moooooorrrreee--though obviously Rucka and Lark have the right to take all the time they need. the newer longer issues work really well with the epic prestige drama vibes of the story! i’m into it.

The Good Place (TV, 4 seasons finished 2/18/2020): i’m gonna be super honest: i actually wasn’t a big fan of the finale, nor the last season as a whole. it felt like all of Eleanor’s flaws vanished for a majority of the season, and the Chidi-centric episode where they tried to give a legible justification for why he’s Like This was...i didn’t care for it. still, it’s so good and unique on the WHOLE that we’ll literally never get anything like this ever again, and that counts for a lot.

The Old Republic (game, finished 2/21/2020): it’s an MMO so it will never actually Be Finished so long as the servers aren’t shut down, but i caught up on the content i’d missed in the intervening months. Onslaught thus far has mostly been...kinda bland tbh; going back to Imps vs. Rebs after all the shakeups in the previous expansions feels like a waste.

High Road (album, finished 2/22/2020): someone should tell Kesha not to say that word!! otherwise i was very happy with this album, and happy FOR her even though we don’t know each other. being able to find joy again in the same genre of music you made while you were being horrifically exploited is very cool.

Young Justice (TV, 13 episodes finished 2/28/2020): given how much the middle stuff dragged--STOP KILLING YOUR HIJABI CHARACTER IN HORRIFIC WAYS--i was...actually kinda mad by how the end managed to stick the landing anyway. the day being saved by Vic’s self-acceptance and Violet’s sublime compassion was A+, and even the Brion/Tara switchup was a pleasant surprise, though it relied on me caring about Brion MUCH MORE than i actually did.

Manic (album, finished 2/29/2020): do people still care for/about Halsey? i feel like even That One Song that was on every tumblr gifset ever has kinda faded into obscurity at this point. this album was...okay. i feel like people give Halsey a pass for extremely obvious lyrical turns that they wouldn’t for other folks because of her subject material--which is fine. not really my cup of tea, but i also listened to lots of Relient K this year, so that’s probably a good thing.

Jade Empire (game, 3/10/2020): the only 3D-era Bioware game that didn’t franchise out, and for good fucking reason!!! the Orientalism and appropriation really haven’t aged well, and even beyond that the story was...standard Bioware faire. even my usual “my wife’s a bitch i love her” Bioware type didn’t do it for me, and i just ended up romancing no one. it did make me think a lot about what level of cultural borrowing is accepted nowadays, and why: people still look fondly at Avatar and talk about how ~accurate and respectful it was, for example, despite it being staffed almost entirely by white folks, and the Orientalism ALL OVER the monk class in DND is still fine for some reason.

Alif the Unseen (book, finished 3/31/2020): interesting to have read this AFTER reading The Bird King last year, because it highlights how the intervening years have shifted G. Willow Wilson’s thematic interest and improved her craft. i’m actually quite fond of how her characterization work is rougher here--Alif is extremely flawed to the point of being insufferable, but it makes his development by the end more satisfying. Dina is also just good and i love her

Baldur’s Gate (2 games, finished 5/31/2020): well, having finally finished the series i’m happy to say that it...still doesn’t really do it for me, sorry. any awesome story moments were overshadowed by the EXCRUCIATING inventory management system and the combat (i still don’t know what a THAC0 is and at this point i’m afraid to find out). these games crucially lack the Home Base that later Bioware games were so good about, and that (coupled with the huge cast of characters you can drop off and never see again) really hurts the intimacy for me. by the time we finally did get one it was the Hell Dimension in Throne of Bhaal, and i was just...trying to get through it. (yes, i did just say that about one of the most beloved expansions ever to one of the most beloved games ever.) THIS particular iteration of “my wife’s a bitch i love her” was very good, but the game wouldn’t let me romance her :(

The Underground Railroad (book, finished 6/19/2020): honestly what is there even left to say at this point! it was exactly as good as every critic on the planet said it was, even with my usual aversion to hype. draining and horrifying in turns but still insistent upon a future for Black folks.

Steven Universe (6 seasons and a mooooooviiieeee, finished 7/11/2020): yes, i DID finish the show and almost immediately begin a rewatch. this series is now one of my top five most formative things, and the amount of love and respect i have for it is incalculable. that said: i once again did not love how the central conflict of Future was resolved (just the resolution--i loved the finale just fine). for all of Steven’s breakdown was built up, resolving it with “EVERYONE HUG HIM UNTIL HE CRIES” felt...cheap, especially since up until this point the show had been so good about treating trauma and mental illness with the respect and nuance it deserves. it made me wish some of the earlier, less substantial episodes had been cut so we could spend more time at the end.

What It Is (comic, finished 8/19/2020): y���all i love Lynda Barry SO MUCH. for the longest time i was worried that One Hundred Demons was more a lightning in a bottle situation but every book of hers i pick up makes me feel obscure emotions i didn’t even realize existed. the compassionate way she’s able to describe her child self and how weird and fucked up she was (and still is) is honestly aspirational.

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (TV, 5 seasons finished 9/26/2020): so here’s a reversal of what i’ve been complaining about with other shows: i was mostly lukewarm-to-warm about She-Ra, but the later seasons and the finale made me much more into it as a whole. more shows should improve in stakes and overall quality as they age tbh!! i still don’t actively love Catradora (my sole quibble with season 5 actually has to do with the way Adora kept backsliding as a character to make certain Plot/Relationship things happen), but i’m very happy for them nonetheless. i can certainly appreciate a show that will go for High Feeling over tight plot. dark horse standout moments: trees growing everywhere proving that Perfuma Was Right, and Hordak and Adora seeing each other--that weirdly intimate moment of recognition.

Fetch the Bolt Cutters (album, finished 10/7/2020): again i find myself not having much to say that no one else has said. it’s good! once again love it when an artist reclaims something they’d attached with negative affect (anxiety, depression, disordered eating) for better and brighter things.

Solutions and Other Problems (comic, finished 10/25/2020): i was very into Allie Brosh’s ambition with this book, which feels weird to say but i stand by it. it’s cool to see an artist try to make a new medium work for them instead of just sticking to what already works. not all the experimentation was 100% effective, but it was still delightful and occasionally devastating to read, so.

Legend of Zelda (3 games: Ocarina of Time, Majora’s Mask, Link Between Worlds, finished 11/1/2020): this was the third time i’d played Ocarina of Time, which made it the nice, comforting groove i settled into before Majora’s Mask blatted me in the face. i’m not usually a completionist Zelda person because...the gameplay in Zelda is bad, do not at me it just is, but i really felt like i HAD to be one for Majora’s Mask since the whole point is to get attached to the banalities of the town. i’m sure nobody’s surprised that i loved it, even if it gave me an existential crisis about how life goes on in the game for NPCs when you’re not there to save them from it, and there’s not enough time to save them all all the time (also not a surprise to anyone: Romani and Cremia gave Personal Feelings). Link Between Worlds...bad. not like in a “this is a bad story by every measurable gauge” way, but i was already struggling with the 2D playstyle shift enough that for the whole story to end with some “yes it’s v sad that Lorule is Like This but trying to steal Hyrule’s privilege is Even Worse Actually” noblesse oblige bullshit left a VERY poor taste in my mouth, this year of all years. i did audibly gasp when Ravio took off his mask, though. i’m currently playing Breath of the Wild in cautious increments; it’s the first time i’ve enjoyed early Zelda gameplay, but if they wanted fully voiced cutscenes i wish they got voice actors who...knew what words sound like.

folklore (album, finished 11/6/2020): my belief that Taylor Swift is Just Fine continues, i’m afraid. i LIKED this album, don’t get me wrong, and respect her constant drive to innovate, but i didn’t love it substantially more or less than any other Taylor Swift album. mostly i’m just tickled by how she thinks leaning into the indie aesthetic means borrowing Vita Sackville-West’s entire wardrobe, though i will admit to feeling Something when she swore in a song. i think it was like. savage vindication?? you go ahead and swear, Taylor Swift. you deserve it.

Shore (album, finished 11/19/2020): do people still care about the Fleet Foxes? i think there was some Drama with Josh Tillman a while back but i don’t remember where the discourse landed with who was being more problematic. it was nostalgic for me to listen to their new album--made me remember being an undergrad who exclusively listened to men who mumbled and played acoustic guitar all over again.

Star Wars (3 movies: original trilogy, finished 11/27/2020): there is So Much bad Star Wars these days that every time i rewatch the original trilogy i’m afraid that they will suddenly be bad, but guess what! they’re not. i love these children and their hot mess stories, i love that Lando doesn’t know how to say his best friend’s name. what stood out to me this time was the way Obi-Wan described the Force in A New Hope, which strongly implied that ANYONE can be Force Sensitive; that obviously faded with each subsequent movie, but part of me does wish they’d kept it.

X of Swords (comics, 22 issues finished 12/5/2020): i am enjoying Hickman’s X-lines!!! not so much here for the Grand Conspiracy or whatever, but the character work and highkey weirdness is fabulous--they FEEL like X-Men, despite all the shakeups in-universe. this crossover is a nice microcosm of all that: grandiloquently all over the place, but still full of cool standout moments and genuine hilarity. ILLYANA DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO SPELL MAGIC.

Fire Emblem (4 games: Sacred Stones, Path of Radiance, Radiant Dawn, Awakening, finished 12/14/2020): this was the thing that i was closest to giving up early on, but i ended up hyperfixating on it instead. that’s a credit to what the gameplay does to my lizard brain more than anything else, because the story and character writing is...insipid. it was very bizarre to witness this franchise blunder around with its animal-people racism allegory around the same time i was getting back into RWBY, and ITS animal-people racism allegory blunders. Awakening was the first time i felt anything for the franchise beyond “teehee red units disappear make exp bar go up and brain go ding,” so i’m excited for more mature storytelling in subsequent games (they MUST get better. they MUST). the child husbandry thing is...very bad tho, and Apotheosis being “challenging” entirely through the game changing all the rules is also bad.

once again no vidya games that came out this year--i’ll probably pick up Spiritfarer or Hades after the New Year, though (or maybe TLOU II! but probably not. sry Laura and Ashley). more TV and franchises this year, which made me feel In Touch with the Children but was also kinda exhausting. nothing was so egregiously terrible i dropped it without finishing! in a year like this that feels almost like an accomplishment

[asdamagicbiscuits]

Theatre Highlights 2019

My Top 11 Theatre Highlights and Moments of 2019 (in no particular order other than roughly chronological.)

Let's get stuck in!

Panto at the Palladium

So my first theatre trip of the year saw me head off to Panto land at the Palladium to see Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. It was great to see Danielle Hope on stage again and she was the perfect Snow White. Massive shoutout to Simeon Dyer who was ace as one of the Dwarfs in the show, it’s not everyday you get to see your pal on stage in their West End Debut, he did a brilliant job. The Palladium always delivers fantastic Pantos and I’m excited to see what their next one is!

Book Of Mormon

So Book Of Mormon was again one of those shows I wasn’t rushing to see, that is until Luke George went into the company. I had heard a lot of things about it and I was worried as I had been told if you get easily offended that I wouldn’t like it. I saw it and loved it. It was nuts and very tongue in cheek humour. Turn It Off is one of my favourite numbers in the show, the company are fantastic in it! Tom Xander as Elder Cunningham is pure magic. No other way I can describe his performance. He’s so cheeky and mischievous, the PERFECT Cunningham. Paired with Dom Simpson as Elder Price they are a dream team. You and Me (but mostly me) is such a joy to watch. It was also so lovely to watch Luke and see him on stage again. He is as brilliant as ever!! The Book of Mormon is playing at the Prince of Wales Theatre in London’s West End and it’s also on tour too!!!

Cursed Child - Year Three

I think I said this in last years post but Cursed Child combines two of my biggest loves Harry Potter and Theatre. The Year Three company were exceptional and I saw a huge array of covers. Martin Johnson, Danny Dalton, April Hughes, Jordan Bamford, Leah Haile and Susan Lawson Reynolds. I can remember all the shows when I got to see them and the little details of their performances. Also as #KeepTheSecrets is over I’m gonna talk about April as Delphi. I ADORE April as Delphi. Like hands down my favourite interpretation of the role. Delphi is so sweet and then BAMN. That switch is flicked and her true intentions come out but even then April brought such a warmth to her that I found myself really sympathising with Delphi. She’s just a very misunderstood character and I just wanted to give her a hug. On the other side April’s interpretation of Myrtle is ICONIC!!! That giggle she does in the moment after Scorpius ask if everything’s going to be okay? And Albus replies going of course it is. Pure brilliance!! Also I have to mention the fact I FINALLY got to see James McGregor as Draco. It happened gang. I don’t know how I managed to get to see him three times, still blows my mind as I was worried I wouldn’t get to see him once but I did. It actually happened. ‘Twas beyond brilliant in every sense of the word and well worth the wait, exceptional performances!

Shitfaced Shakespeare

Another fantastic season for those boozey Bard loving beans! The Taming of the Shrew and Hamlet in London and Midsummer Nights Dream on tour. It’s always a joy to see them perform on stage. For those of you who read last years Highlights I can confirm that I broke the curse. I got to see Saul Marron Compère THREE times!!! He also was the drinker for the show of Midsummer I saw in my hometown on the tour. It was lovely to revisit my first show I saw them do, plenty of laughs and so much fun! Bring on next season for more Shakespeare, laughs and most importantly - booze! 😜 haha

Venice Preserved/The Provoked Wife

Now my theatre highlights wouldn’t be complete without me seeing a show Natalie Dew was in. This year I got to see her in Venice Preserved and The Provoked Wife both at the RSC in Shakespeare land (Stratford Upon Avon). Both shows were absolutely fantastic and I gotta mention Sarah Twombly who really stood out in The Provoked Wife as Mademoiselle, stunning performance! I adored Venice Preserved so much I saw it twice! It was gritty, edgy and the whole production value was fantastic! It was also so good to see Nat in such a different role, it’s not everyday you get to see your stagey fav play a dominatrix. She was so badass, strong and the moment at the end of the play with the look the gave another character, I’m getting chills just thinking about it. Perfection!

Edinburgh Fringe

Each year my trip to Ed Fringe just gets better and better and this year was no different. I managed two trips this year and saw a whole host of different shows which were all incredible and I got meet some lovely people, both leafleting and chatting to a few of the actors before the show. I’ll leave a link to my Ed Fringe post so if anyone wants to check out what I saw give it a read - here. Massive shoutout to the Bodily Functions gang as they were super lovely, Friendsical cast, David Colvin was so lovely too, the Shitfaced Shakespeare and Showtime lot. I could go on. But I’m buzzing to see what Ed Fringe 2020 will bring!

The Indian Queen

When in France, go to the Opera? So this still links with theatre but I want to talk about Pierrefonds, it’s my blog so I can do what I want 😜. Firstly BIG shoutout to my friend Sej, the only person mad enough to agree to go to France with me to visit a castle and to see an Opera. So firstly Pierrefonds. I still can’t believe I got to visit the castle where they filmed Merlin. It’s been on my Bucket list for many years now so thrilled I finally got to tick it off. It’s a gorgeous place in the cutest little village ever, genuinely would move there if there was more theatre. 100% will be going back again and would recommend to anyone about going. I had a great time! The other part of my trip saw me go and watch my very first Opera, The Indian Queen! The Opera House in Lille is stunning, so so beautiful. Now I can’t comment on what happened at the beginning as I was raging at the subtitles being in French, it wasn’t until it was 10/15 minutes in that I realised it was all sung and spoken in English. (yep. I am that dumb and yes it took me that long 🙈) I loved how they had the screens move around in the background with the opera on. It had been prefilmed and all the actors were in costume whereas the actors were all in blacks performing it in front of the screens live. As a first venture into the world of Opera, wasn’t what I was expecting at all but I really loved it. It was also so great to see James McGregor on stage again too!! He’s very good!!

Fiddler On The Roof

Wow. Just wow. I was completely blown away by Fiddler On The Roof, the set was gorgeous and how the company went through the auditorium felt so natural. You really felt like you were in Anatevka and part of the community. The whole company were phenomenal!! Andy Nyman as Tevye delivered one of the best performances I have ever seen from any West End Lead. His vocals and comic timing were on point!!! Maria Friedman as Golde played really well opposite Andy’s Tevye, they are a formidable duo. I’m so happy I was able to see them on together. Molly Osbourne as Tzietel and Joshua Gannon as Motel really stood out, stunning performances. Hands down the best show I saw this year without a doubt and I wish I could go back in time and relive it!!

Mary Poppins

Now Mary Poppins is so very dear to me. The movie is an absolute classic, a timeless piece but I had never seen it live on stage before. I had my tickets booked since January when they went on sale and it did not disappoint when I finally got to see it in November. Charlie Stemp was a brilliantly charming Bert and Zizi Strallen was, excuse the pun, ‘Practically Perfect in every way’ as Mary. I sobbed my way through the show and when Zizi flew up over the audience at the end of the show I was in bits. The best way I can describe it is when you love something so much and your just full of nostalgia and emotion and that’s how it came out. Step In Time, Feed The Birds And Practically Perfect were all highlights for me. I have so much love for the whole company for delivering a phenomenal show and I can’t WAIT to return to Cherry Tree Lane once again next year. Although hopefully I will be able to get through the show without crying next time. Haha. Mary Poppins is currently playing at The Prince Edward Theatre in London’s West End.

Dear Evan Hansen

Now I had to be the only person in theatreland who wasn’t rushing to get tickets or proper hyped for it. It was one of those shows for me which I was like - I’ll see it eventually but I’ll let the rush of people pass and I’ll go when it’s all died down. Then the cast got announced and I was okay. I need to see it and I need to see it in previews as I need to see Rupert Young on stage again. Thankfully one of my best friends Johanna was desperate to see it when she was over in November and she managed to sort us tickets. (Thanks Chummy. You’re the best. Love you) It generally was such a phenomenal experience, the audience was so quiet and the only sounds you could hear were the quiet sniffs of people crying. You could hear a pin drop and I don’t believe I will ever experience anything like that ever again. That’s great Anne but why has it made it into your highlights? Don’t worry. I’m getting to that gang 😜 haha. The whole cast were phenomenal. Sam Tutty was flawless as Evan, I connected immediately with him. I was sold and invested from the beginning. The fact there is only 8 people on stage for the whole show blows my mind. Like WHAT?! Outstanding performances from all. In particular Mr Rupert Young as Larry. Now the only thing I knew about the show was that You Will Be Found closes the first act. That’s all I knew, didn’t read up on it or listen to the soundtrack before hand. I went in completely blind! Now You Will Be Found starts and I can hear people crying and I’m sat there thinking. This is great. I haven’t cried at this. Brilliant. The thing which broke me and had me sobbing was when Rupert Young broke down and cried during You Will Be Found. That is what got me and I can relate so much to it. How I view it is that Larry has delayed grief and that happened to me personally so it really struck a chord with me. I’m basically a convert and this is a piece of theatre everyone needs to see and I can see it running for a very long time in London. Dear Evan Hansen is playing at the Noel Coward Theatre in London’s West End and if you haven’t already, GO BUY A TICKET!!

Rage But Hope

I was very lucky to be able to catch this show at Ed Fringe this year so I was thrilled I was able to make it in to see it again during its London run in November. I stand by everything I said before and it was fantastic to see the development of the piece, which is a current and important issue we all should focus on. The whole company delivers stunning performances and I adored the addition of Matt’s characters monologue. I felt it tied together what he said in a conversation with James earlier in the piece and it gave much more depth to his character. The Layla’s List monologue remained one of my favourite moments in the play and goes to show the importance younger generations have and that they are far wiser than their years suggest so not to under estimate them. Let’s preserve this world for many more generations to come. The writing is stunning and hats off to Stephanie Martin for an incredibly well written play. The scene at the end of the play was new for the London run and I felt it really hammered home the message. Tell the truth. Act Now!

So that pretty much wraps up 2019’s Theatre and what a year it was.

2020 - a New Year, a New Decade and I can confirm a lot more Theatre adventures.

Thanks for reading, make sure to come back next year for my 8th Theatre Highlights (that is MAD!!) to find out what I got up to!

Until next time, cheerio!

[reallygroovyninja]

The Sad & Current State of Fear The Walking Dead by Stephen Vivian

Link

When Fear The Walking Dead debuted in 2015 it became the most watched pilot episode in Cable TV history. Today, in it’s current fifth season, it whimpers along with less than a million and a half of live viewers. While the show’s ratings have steadily declined since it’s debut to 10.13 million viewers just over four years ago, it’s current reboot under co-showrunner’s and executive producers Andrew Chambliss and Ian Goldberg is a far cry from a success.

In fact, less than two seasons into their reboot the show has gone from an 83% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes to a 66% amongst critics. And even worse, the audience score has dropped from 72% to an abysmal 36%.

This steep decline in quality has been a concern for die-hard fans who believed the show had finally found its footing in its season three outing. During that season the show stabilized it’s ratings and improved it’s critical consensus and it appeared the show was on track to outpace its parent series in quality. But less than two years later The Walking Dead has seen a resurgence in quality while Fear has dropped to all-time lows.

So what went wrong?

ERICKSON OUT; GIMPLE, CHAMBLISS and GOLDBERG IN

Fear was co-created by Robert Kirkman, who created the original comic series The Walking Dead, and Dave Erickson. Erickson served as showrunner for the first three seasons and it was his vision for the show to set itself apart from its parent series by focusing on a gritty family drama set amidst the growing apocalypse. His focus on the Clark family was taking shape and by season three it was apparent that lead actress Kim Dickens’ character, Madison Clark, was being written to serve not only as the shows main antihero but it’s burgeoning villain. She had done everything in the name of survival and didn’t take bullshit from anyone.

Her defining moment came in the two-part season three opener where she declared that it was their fate to take the ranch from its current leadership and that it would be their right to take it if it secured their survival. And so began Madison’s manipulations, starting with her and her kids ingratiating themselves into the Otto’s lives to prove their worth and keep them apart of the inner workings of the ranch. This mission – and her brutality in carrying it out – were beginning to take its toll on the very people she strived to protect: her children.

Alicia grew wary of Madison’s tactics and started to grow into her own, becoming a leader who undoubtedly would have to one day deal with opposing her mother as Madison reached full blown villain status. And even Nick, who Madison was obsessed with protecting and keeping by her side, began to see his mother’s brutality as alarming when she killed Troy with very little hesitation.

The dynamic between these three and how it would further be explored had taken the show to new heights, but sadly the writing was already on the wall when it was revealed that Dave Erickson would be departing the series as showrunner and was to be replaced by Once Upon a Time alums Andrew Chambliss and Ian Goldberg, both brought in by Scott Gimple who had taken on a larger role in The Walking Dead Universe by overseeing the development of both shows.

GIMPLIFICATION

Fans were wary of Gimple’s new involvement with the series. He had overseen The Walking Dead for five seasons. And while seasons four and five of the main show were critical and ratings successes, the problems with his leadership began to pop up in a very divisive season six. By season seven The Walking Dead had seen a drastic downturn in both critical and ratings success, culminating with Gimple’s departure as showrunner after season eight.

Hallmarks of Gimple’s leadership – splitting up the cast, drawing out story arcs that reduced the pace of the show to a crawl, and having characters act and speak illogically and in repetitive monologues were now on their way to Fear, a show that had earned its success from separating itself from the identity of its parent show through showcasing a grittier, more realistic portrayal of the zombie apocalypse. Andrew Chambliss and Ian Goldberg were just the nails in the coffin as they would take these hallmarks and double down on them with reckless abandon.

DRASTIC CHANGES OF REBOOTING

The reboot swiftly introduced a time jump to bring the show in line with The Walking Dead for the sole purpose of crossing over Morgan Jones, a character whose story arc had been on a rinse-and-repeat cycle on The Walking Dead for far too long. Having him crossover could have been a great way to explore his character and breathe some life back into him, but sadly the showrunners simply doubled down on what was wrong with Morgan’s character in the first place.

Worse of all they decided to stunt all other characters growth and put them on a trajectory to adopt Morgan’s boring character traits, ultimately watering them down to unquestioning, idiotic do-gooders who do not worry about any personal matters but instead the larger group mission of do good at all costs; even if it means killing themselves to save someone who refuses their help and is more-than-likely going to result in getting more people killed.

The problems were readily apparent right from the outset of the first episode – an episode dominated by Morgan and new characters Althea and John Dory. No OG Fear characters were introduced until the very closing minutes of the show. And in the following seven episodes the original cast took even more blows, as both Nick and Madison Clark were killed off the show. The core dynamic of the show and the interesting premise of the original pitch of the series had been decimated in less than 8 episodes.

It was clear that Andrew and Ian had no regard for the cast who had been there since day one and who had given such great performances to carry the show to critical success. And once again they doubled down on new characters that had no depth, dimension or individuality in favour of propping up Morgan Jones as the new lead of the show.

BIGGEST GRIPES WITH SEASON FOUR & FIVE

The new cinematography style was to strip out all colour and use a hideous grey filter. Since the show was split into two timelines – the THEN timeline featuring the OG cast at the Dell Diamond, and the the NOW timeline featuring Morgan Jones meeting up with our remaining survivors – it was assumed the use of grey filter was meant to contrast the generally bright colours of the NOW timeline. Perhaps a thematic device to showcase the differences in the state of mind of Alicia, Nick, Strand and Luciana as they were on a mission of vengeance. But when that story was resolved in the mid-season finale, it was assumed we would return to normal colouring. Sadly, we were not.

Characters acting dumb, delivering nonsensical dialogue and out of character in order to service the plot. This is always one of the worse creative decisions a writing team could make and it was clear it was one the new showrunners were embracing. As I mentioned before, Madison Clark was a growing villain who would stop at nothing to keep herself and her kids safe. Suddenly in season four she was a leader of hope for the show, doling out idiotic, non-sensical lines such as “no one is gone until they’re gone”. Go back to episode 3x08 and listen to Madison tell her kids about how she killed her father to protect her mother against his abuse and how she was going to go talk to another old man, Jeremiah Otto, alluding to her reconciling that she would have to kill him to protect Alicia and Nick and you will see a vast difference in dialogue.

Gimmicks! The plot doesn’t serve to move the characters or the story forward in any meaningful or realistic way. Instead it’s as if the writers came up with these “cool moments” they think will look good on screen, and try to just connect the dots with nonsensical plot points and character direction to make it happen. Let’s not even get too into the airplane that they flew despite none of the people on the plane being a pilot, or the nuclear reactor breakdown that was supposed to present a huge threat but was resolved very anti-climatically.

And the cardinal sin that the new showrunners have committed is sidelining the previously well-developed OG characters in favour of new, poorly developed characters. First of all, if the decision to kill Madison off was to actually serve a true purpose for the story and the characters instead of this superficial “it’s what Madison would want us to do”, then the show should have rightfully been inherited by and led by Alicia. For starters, Alycia Debnam-Carey has a large following as an actress. And, as a character, is the biggest draw for the audience. Not only is she the last Clark standing, but she was on a trajectory to becoming a strong leader in her own right. But instead they felt the show would be better served with Morgan as the lead. It’s a shame because the show had a lot of potential by shifting focus to Alicia, but as it stands now, not even our OG characters or Morgan, the shows misplaced lead character, are strong enough to carry this show.

CAN THE SHOW BE SAVED? CAN IT DO BETTER?

I sure hope so. I haven’t followed steadily since episode 4x09. That episode bored me to tears. And no matter how many times I’ve tried to sit down and watch episodes from the latter part of season four or episodes of season five, I just simply can’t bring myself to do it. There’s just no motivation for me to keep watching. Nothing ever really happens. No one has grown in new and surprising or compelling ways. The show hasn’t had a message or a narrative worth investing in, because let’s be real the simplicity of “we’re here to help” is not a story. It’s a singular ideology adopted by EVERY character, no matter how senseless and idealistic it is.

I think there’s several ways to reinvigorate the show and get it back on track. To start, the show could learn to take risks. The show isn’t willing to take any risks right now and it’s painful. Given the world they live in and the threats they face, we should be seeing characters go down darker paths or even killing again. We don’t even get any real sources of conflict. It’s all contrived conflict to make it seem like there’s a threat to our characters when there is none. At. All.

Why not kill off a character without fanfare and have the real ramifications be the source of conflict. I thought they might have been able to pull this off after Nick’s death, but that fell flat too.

Imagine June dying and John growing darker wanting to avenge her. Imagine Morgan going all “clear” mode again and not coming back from it. He’d be far more interesting as a loose cannon who could no longer lead or support the people he rounded up into his mission. Imagine Madison returning in her true, pre-season four form and struggling to adapt to the groups mission and suddenly start pulling Alicia, Strand and Daniel’s loyalty away from the group. There are just so many, endless ways the show could create conflict without having to outsource it to inadequate villains, such as Martha or Logan.

There are so many themes to explore in a post-apocalyptic show. Season three was dealing with scarcity of resources and how it was causing conflict amongst survivors struggling to find supplies. In season five, it seems that they have unlimited resources with battery power for their walkie talkies, generators, video recording equipment, planes and hot air balloons. Enough already. This isn’t realistic. Logan, the shows current villain, if you can even label him as one, would be far more dangerous if the resources in the area were dwindling, as they would be, and he was pushed to the brink by trying to secure whatever was left for his groups survival. He wouldn’t be politely asking for directions to oil fields. He’d be taking it at gunpoint and killing people to get it.

The possibilities in this genre are unlimited. But one thing is for certain, since the show lost it’s true lead in Madison Clark, the series hasn’t felt right. Kim Dickens was wrongfully dismissed from this show, in my opinion. And until she is brought back I don’t think that the show will ever truly recover.

In short, Bring Back Madison, have her be the bad-ass, manipulative antihero she is meant to be, and have her character be a source of conflict for the group and Alicia. Imagine Alicia’s loyalties being torn between the mother she thought she lost and the group she has now called a family. Madison would be the best kind of bad influence on both Strand and Daniel, who were characters who thrived in the grey areas of morality under Erickson’s leadership, creating a far more dynamic and distinct direction for the series. It would also be a direction worthy of the acting talent that this show has in riches but sadly doesn’t utilize to it’s fullest potential.

[ruwithmeguys]

The chances of an eighth season of Arrow is high, but beyond that… I think the chances have dropped for more than 8 but I could be wrong.

Why I think it’s ending after S8 (and why it may not):

Both Stephen and Emily have stated they want to write and direct but haven’t, despite the chances. They may want to work on new things after next year.

Though he’s agreed to an eighth season, Stephen has made several comments the last 12 months indicating his acceptance of the end and how Oliver really only has one true goal left to accomplish.

The show doesn’t just feel like it’s hitting a new milestone: it feels like it’s preparing us for something (unless it’s just a shocking SL and I’m very wrong)

The interest in superhero tv shows is starting to dwindle because of the sheer number of options available. This however, is open to change. Especially after the last avengers movie hits the cinemas. They may turn to shows like Arrow as an alternative.

Unless the show comes up with a brand new focus to pit Oliver against, beyond his own darkness, then… what? What’s the story?

Indications that John may become the GL means he’s available for other shows after Arrow ends.

Where Oliver goes, Felicity goes. The indications that Oliver will eventually step back from the hood keep ramping up.

They are leading the show towards the future: it’s an obvious passing of the baton.

They are limited in terms of comic origin as there’s only so much story they can pilfer from the comics before DC stop them.

They will need an intense, captivating original story to keep Stephen/Emily and the audience on board past S8 and where they go, the audience go.

We know Arrow won’t live past 10 seasons anyway.

Why I want Arrow to end after 8 seasons:

Too many new characters – unless the show axes at least two of the regulars, we’re never truly going to get the depth we deserve in the scenes focused on our mains… HOWEVER. You can also argue that they don’t need more depth because we basically know them inside out. Another reason right there.

Run its course - Arrow is that show. It isn’t even that good to be honest – the script is either amaze-balls or ridiculous and illogical, the action sequences take up too much space at times and continuity is a huge issue – however we love it as if it were made of gold. Despite our complaints, we watch it because it gave us something that most shows don’t. It gave us a love story for the ages that wasn’t supposed to exist and demanded acceptance of it. It dared so it has our respect.

However, Stephen said something recently. He said, all that remains of Oliver’s story is to leave a legacy. He doesn’t have to die for it to happen, but it has to happen. There two ways for this to be possible: have a baby with Felicity and become a legend. He’ll do both, huzzah! But, barring the immediate concerns of this story, there isn’t a whole lot of character building left to accomplish (suck it Barry/Kara) for Oliver. It’s all outside material. His sister is an issue too, but after this season, focus on him for her story won’t be required. I’m here for Oliver, then Felicity. Just them and in that order.

Thea’s story is done folks, save the peripheral. Whatever happens next for her doesn’t have to be on screen, though I will be stunned if she doesn’t come back for the finale of the series. I have no wish to see more of it, unless it’s Roy inclusive. Why? Because so much of her story kind of… IT BLEW, OKAY? I was bored to tears with her after season 4 and only season 2 and 3 interested me for her character and Roy was entwined in that.

Building a legacy doesn’t mean characters just… disappear - and they don’t have to. So regardless of the end, Felicity will be out there. So will Oliver.

Diggle. This is a big one for me. He’s been changing since Oliver and Felicity left 3.23, since he killed Andy. But we haven’t seen the Dig we know and love since 5.23. That’s 32 episodes. For me, if what was broken isn’t fixed by 7.22, then I truly won’t care what occurs for him in the future, beyond simple curiosity. There’s been too much damage. There’s changing into a different person and then there’s being likeable. One episode is all I’m asking. Believe it or not, I’m actually enjoying his progression, but it’s progression that falls away from the man we dearly miss. Since the chances of him becoming the green lantern has risen… I have to say, I’m not surprised at the idea that John could leave his family behind both literally and figuratively. He’s done it before. He’s doing it now, but it has less impact if his ties are loose and not taut. I need them tightening. 13 episodes are left on S7. He needs to take steps. So either Dig becomes the green lantern… or he dies. If either occurs next year, then S8 will most likely be the end anyway. OTA are the main fixture: they know it, they’ve said it. Once one of them leaves, it’s a ticking clock.

The longer the show lasts, the more time they have to screw up.

I can’t stand another crossover where Oliver is verbally battered for existing.

Too many birds give me hives.

Dinah has become the new boring and siren, the cordelia: I can live without both.

Curits is such a poor example of a human being, it makes me rage, which is unhealthy

Rene is finally interesting to me again, even if I don’t trust him because he’s a fickle sod… which means I never will. So, I can’t like his storyline.

I’m so done with watching Felicity be friendless and treated with disrespect by people that she has to refer to as heroes whether they’ve earned the title or not, I feel like writing fiction where she kills them all and Oliver just stands there in approval.

The longer Arrow lasts, the longer Flash lasts and… NO.

The longer Arrow lasts, the longer Supergirl lasts and… NO.

Since they aren’t doing a thorough Constantine Drakon villain – an enemy with the potential to be amazing since he very literally crucifies the green arrow – I really do miss the big villain. I miss Malcolm: he was twisted but he was effective. You were supposed to hate him. I miss Slade: he’s still my favourite villain. Adrian was the best but they took too long introducing him so he falls short of the tension pedestal for me. Despite being sucktastic, Diaz presents a decent conundrum: he’s supposed to be an arsehole that won’t die so he’s a constant threat. We don’t have to like him. So I desperately need Stan to return. I need that creepy/psychotic enemy that throws everyone for a loop. Without it, I’m not sure about the show’s moral integrity goes to that isn’t about revisiting old ghosts since it’s based on good Vs evil etc. I need to wait and see where they go with this: it could become an organisation or an idea (vigilantes for the people: who watches the watchman type thing) instead of a person and I’ve given up hope on a woman villain who doesn’t irk me. I don’t need 1950’s cheese ball KC: it’s not effective.

Felicity. Now… I love what they’ve done with her character, even in S6 for the most part! However, this whole idea that her wearing a mask would undermine the meaning is pathetic. You had a street kid and a lawyer wearing one after less than a few months of training, but sure: Felicity wearing one would destroy the significance. Now, in one part, this elevates her character: she is the character that all others must work off at least once. It makes her too important to loose: Oliver, Barry, LL, Siren, Ray etc. On the other hand, it limits her capacity and keeps her boxed in which is why S7 has been such a relief to may of us. But I would have loved to have seen this woman suit up: at least she’d be convincing. Any chance of us seeing it happen now are slim to none which is a shame because, to me, her potential is limitless. What we would have given to have everyone else react to her kicking ass and taking names in a mask, with a moniker, and a headset/vice that details the logistics of buildings, sends out Trojans etc. She’d be a nightmare.

I think one more full season (20 to 22 episodes) on top of the 13 remaining, is enough to close Oliver’s legacy if done right which… is a stretch to hope for.

With so many superhero movies in play, if gone on long enough, Arrow will no doubt attempt to copy them as they have done in the past to ill effect.

Another year of rude anons/haters making claims, demanding I do as they tell me, being ridiculous and being constantly wrong in my inbox would be a welcome subtraction in my life.

…And why I want it to live forever:

This show was the show that made me aware of social media. It’s also the show that I needed at a dark time in my life: I was jobless, friendless and things were happening with my family that were less than desirable: it was a grand distraction that borderlined obsession. Or passion. Hm.

Despite certain plotlines, illogical character progression, overused devices, and faulty scripts; it truly is a one in a million show. Very different from all other shows.

The actors can ACT… for the most part.

The CGI effects are good.

It’s angsty x 10

The love story is worth the angst

There’s always more story to tell with good characters!

Once Oliver achieves the status he deserves, I want to see him revel in it.

…A 10 episode season 9 that focuses on olicity alone because I want it so bad?

The chance to bring back Tommy somehow

The wonderful people I talk to online daily JUST because of this show

The genuine friends I’ve made JUST because of this show.

The fanfiction that will continue longer if the show does

The posts and metas I don’t want to live without

The asks in my inbox that I enjoy answering and the anons I enjoy engaging with

TUMBLR – (with the smut please)

If the show has a chance of lasting past season 8, then what I want to see is a season that focuses ONLY on Oliver… and I’d have it elsewhere. I’d have the government involved. Felicity too. Dig. Just them three (it won’t happen).

The chance to see Curtis crash and burn

The chance to see Dinah crash and burn

The chance to see Rene crash and burn

The chance to see siren… go away somewhere

Felicity in a mask

An actual 9pm slot that’s used to it’s fullest extent

A crossover that focuses on what could have been on another earth and you KNOW they’d have Felicity be the vigilante, with Oliver as the guy who loves her despite her violent escapades. OR another life where they’re regular people that fall into an elaborate conspiracy or something.

There currently isn’t another show that can fill the void that Arrow will create when it ends.

A crossover where Oliver/Felicity kiss no one but each other… please.

A crossover- nay, an ENTIRE SEASON, where Oliver is praised for alllll his hard work and sacrifice.

An episode that marks Felicity, truly, as irreplaceable, necessary and needed for every other character to shine.

An episode arc that allows Felicity to be the one that defeats the bad guy.

You know… YOU KNOW that at some point they’ll deliberately have DC and marvel intersect.

Unfortunately, the cons currently outweigh the pro’s. And if so, if S8 is the last, then that’s an AMAZING run time for a show that was supposed to be only 5 seasons. And the story had enough meat in it for me to be happy for it……… though when that occurs, I’ll probably need to book time off to recover because oh my god I can’t even imagine.

The idea, if true, is a sad one. But again, if true, it won’t be till 2020. We have some time.

[londoncapsule]

Transcript of Jeffrey Dean Morgan’s interview on the Howard Stern Show

I put together a rough transcript of Jeff’s latest appearance on the Howard Stern Show on 9 April 2018.

Since it was an almost hour-long interview, it’s quite a long list and also due to the NSFW topics discussed, you can find the rest of the transcript under the ‘Keep reading’ bar.

During the interview Stern asked Jeff some highly personal questions as well, but Jeff answered all of them (and did so with class and humour, I think) so proceed at your own risk if you’re not comfortable with reading about such personal stuff.

On fans and fame

- Jeff lets his beard grow long now because he’s off work, “it’s my farm thing” and “hopefully people don’t stop me on the street to tell me to go to hell”, because he gets all sorts of stuff in the streets these days

- since he’s on The Walking Dead he has experienced a new level of fame with fans, paparazzi and autograph hunters even stalking him at the airport by buying a plane ticket and stalking him at the gate, there were even fights breaking out in Chicago when he refused to sign stuff for people who were trampling over other people at the airport

- while leaving Good Morning America that morning he was called a “motherfucker” for not stopping to sign when he was late for the Howard Stern Show, which really pissed him off because they were acting like he owed them somehow, but he was like “I don’t know you, guys”

- he doesn’t want to stop for selfies all the time, especially when he’s out and about with his wife and kids, the only time he sometimes makes an exception when it’s for a little kid (unless they are being manipulated by their parents standing behind them), the kids can get any but it’s the adults that are “super rude”, but he loves the fans and tries to be very good to them, it’s “the guys trying to make a living selling your autograph online” who bother him

On his farm

- their farm has “turned into more or less a rescue operation”, they take in a lot of alpaca and now have like 16 of them, because alpaca were thought to be the “it” animals some years ago and many people got rid of them later, they are really sweet animals except for shearing time once or twice a year when they spit on you, but they have to be sheared because they don’t shed and the summer heat is not good for them, Jeff has someone helping him with their shearing but he sits on top of them while they gets sheared and they process the wool and at some point they could have a little business of it, but for now they give the wool to friends who knit

- his six-month old baby donkey, Paxton is following him around the farm like a puppy, he got three donkeys last year for Father’s Day from Hil, and 2 days later there were four donkeys, they didn’t know that one of the donkeys was pregnant, he was there when Paxton was born and he imprinted on Jeff, before the press tour he had to “fix him” because Paxton just started getting amorous and he didn’t want him to breed with his mother, so Jeff’s not sure if upon his return Paxton will look him in the eye again

- he just wants to be a “gentleman farmer”, it’s now kinda turning into a more full-time thing for them, he has a total of 120 acres of land and “it’s neat” and “really beautiful”

- they are active in the community and still have the candy store they saved together with Paul Rudd

- Rhinebeck is an an hour and a half from New York City, “hour forty tops”

- when he was doing The Good Wife he took the train to go to work, because it takes him 12 minutes to get to the Poughkeepsie station from his farm and then he took the train to Penn Station every day

- Jeff invited Stern to visit him on the farm for the day to paint, but Stern was worried because they don’t know each other that well and “you are Negan”, but Jeff replied “I’m not really Negan in real life though man!”

- Stern was still worried about the idea, so Jeff offered to leave him the farm, or they can walk or drive around the farm, he has 40 acres of just woods, three houses on the property, he’s got a herd of highland kettle, every spring they bring in yearling melt cows with their mothers he raises and then they go to the milk farm and then he brings in another set

- Jeff loves the farm life so much that sometimes he doesn’t want to go back to acting, but he hasn’t made enough money yet to do that, Stern asked him how much money he would need to stop acting and just live on the farm comfortably and take care of his family, to which Jeff said that he wants the farm to be completely paid off and his kids to go to college, he doesn’t need a big number, “I don’t know, 20? But like taxed and for that you have to make 40″ but he doesn’t think he’s getting there

On his bromance with Norman

- Norman is “awesome” and he “loves him”, he’s family and was the first person to come and see Jeff’s baby after she was born

- Jeff and Norman met like 20 years ago, they hung out, were in the same circle but then he didn’t see or talk to him for 10 years at least and when Jeff joined the show they “were just joined at the hip”, Norman was super stoked that Jeff got the role and that he knew him, but had nothing to do with Jeff getting the role, they are together all the time, Norman bought a place up near Jeff’s farm in Rhinebeck, their bromance is ”solid” and Jeff’s happy that at almost 52 he has a best friend

- he was the type of guy with a guy best friend in his 20s but when he started dating and then met Hilarie that “all went out the fucking window” and since he lives on the farm now with his family there are “no boyfriends around anymore”

- Jeff and Norman live next to each other in Georgia and are there without significant others for most of their lives now, when they’re not working they are on their bikes and sometimes when Norman’s not working that day he would drive by the set (they live an hour away from the set) to meet Jeff and they would have some bro time, that’s their quality time together, but since they are on their bikes they are not talking to each other, but on the show Negan and Daryl "are totally not bro at all”

- Jeff confirmed that Norman and Diane Kruger are together and that “she’s beautiful” and “he’s very happy” and that Stern should have him on the show because he’s listening to him every day too

On riding motorbikes

- last year Jeff and Norman rode on Norman’s TV show Ride around Spain and this year in London (which was “kinda sucky because it rained the whole time”) and all over England and while shooting they follow the camera van so they don’t have to know the way or check the GPS

- Jeff is aware of the dangers of biking and has seen some bad stuff but has always ridden knock-on on that and has always been very lucky

- he has 7 bikes, is a Harley guy (Norman’s a Triumph guy), has wanted a Harley Davidson since he was a kid and has had a relationship with Harley Davidson ever since he could afford to buy his first one

- Jeff’s dad rides too, he has a Harley as well and Jeff just saw him three weeks before the interview, they were riding together out in Palm Desert

On acting

- Jeff still thinks about his former manager who had dropped him before he made his big break by landing Grey’s Anatomy, Supernatural and Weeds, and kinda hopes “she’s kicking herself in the balls” but he doesn’t run into her these days since he moved from California years ago and now lives in Upstate New York

- Howard asked his opinion on when a struggling actor should give up acting and Jeff said that he doesn’t know because he was there at that point when he was ready to give up but at 37 he didn’t know what to do, if should he go back to college (he dropped out of college after 1 month) and he survived by building decks and fences and had no fall-back plan (”I put all my eggs in one basket”), he didn’t own a home, had a room mate, his biggest concern was making sure his dog had food and he had rent on the table, his parents weren’t fully behind his plans either, since he only got minor roles (or he wasn’t even recognisable due to being masked as an alien) or roles in shows that got cancelled or were not picked up, so what kept him in the game was that he had nothing else to do and from the age of 30 on he kept extending the deadline by 1 more year of when he would give up, he did auditions but always almost got the role, he was always auditioning for Jon Hamm (”fucking Jon Hamm destroyed my shit for a while”)

- Jeff thinks that “we don’t make enough movies anymore”, there are huge blockbusters but not enough little art films out there with brilliant acting, it’s all going on TV now, Jeff loves TV but doesn’t know what’s going on anymore because there is so much of it, it’s hard to keep up, but he wants to start watching The Bachelor because Howard likes it so much

On The Walking Dead

- Jeff promised to get Stern a Lucille so he can bash some people over the head

- Stern hates that the night scenes on The Walking Dead are too dark and you can’t see anything and Jeff has a problem with that too and hates night shoots and would do anything but night shoots, and thinks that work suffers because of that for the acting and the crew, especially midway through the season (“you’re all hurtin’, everybody’s in bad shape”)

- when they killed of Carl he “wasn’t happy” and was “bummed” because he had been a fan of the comic book before taking on the show and one of his favourite storylines was the Carl-Negan relationship, it was one of the reasons he wanted to do the show and now it’s “fucking gone”

- Andy broke Jeff’s nose in the mid-season finale of season 8 during their fist fight, and Jeff knew that he was going to punch him because Andy gets so amped up before scenes, drinks a lot of coffee, gets excited, and they did rehearse the scene but Andy went from 50% during rehearsal to 130% when the cameras were rolling, Jeff knew immediately when the scene started that they were too close to each other in the scene, they were hitting each other and on the second hit Andy cracked him on the bridge of his nose, he dropped to a knee and his eyes watered and he was like “Ah, dude!”, Andy was more upset about it than Jeff, “he’s not an asshole at all, he’s a great dude”, they kept shooting, Jeff took a minute, put an ice pack on his nose and went back to shooting after 10 minutes, and Andy sent Jeff the a massage certificate and a facial the day after, but Jeff doesn’t do them, “Andy is one of the sweetest people you’ll ever meet in your life”, his nose was just popped back into place and had an X-ray done later but it was just a hairline fraction with a little bit of blood, but later in the season Jeff “kicked Andy in the nuts” which made him feel better

On the Negan vs Rick relationship

- they talked about Jeff saying on GMA that morning that he feels that on The Walking Dead Negan and Rick are equally bad, Howard said that Negan is way worse than Rick, because he forces women to marry him and fuck him, to which Jeff argued that “we never see him fuck, we don’t know”, but then they argued that he’s trying to get them pregnant, but Jeff said that “that was him getting in Dwight’s head” and Howard added that Negan irons the faces of people and burns them in the furnace as punishment and Rick would never do that, and he’s enslaving people, but Jeff argued that he isn’t enslaving them and they can go if they want

- Jeff mentioned the the kill ratio, Rick killed 50 of his people in their sleep and started the whole conflict, “Negan hasn’t done anything to Rick and his group” at that point, then Daryl took out another 20 of his guys with a bazooka, by this point Negan had lost like 70 people and then Negan killed Abraham as punishment, but because Norman/Daryl punched him, he sadly had to kill Glenn too, but Jeff “still blames Norman for that”

On Rampage and Dwayne Johnson

- Dwayne Johnson’s huge success is driving Jeff nuts “maybe a little bit”, he thinks Dwayne is such a big movie star because he’s got the ability to make fun of himself and is kinda self-deprecating and “as an audience we love that” and we all think that he’s a guy we could have a beer with, Dwayne works very hard, and Jeff wouldn’t be surprised if he ran for president, he thinks Dwayne is a very smart guy business wise, and Jeff calls him “Dwayne” or just “Rock”

- when Dwayne landed on him during a stunt while shooting the scene where the plane goes down he felt “like a freezer falling” on him but they have never worked out together

- they talked about the feud Dwayne Johnson and Vin Diesel had during shooting The Fast & Furious about Vin not coming out of his trailer, which neither Stern, nor Jeff understand (”it’s one of my peeves”), Jeff said he’s with Dwayne on this, because when he arrives on the set he’s ready to go and do the scene

- Rampage is “a popcorn movie at its finest” and “believe it or not it has some heart in there” and Dwayne and George are “cute as shit” in the movie

- Howard was wondering if George had a cock and massive balls in the movie but Jeff said no, later Howard’s looked up that an erect gorilla cock is 1 to 3 inches long only, and they were talking about cock sizes, to which Jeff added that “I’m all talk myself”

- they mentioned how hot Naomie Harris is, “she’s the real deal, a really cool chick”, Howard asked if she had a boyfriend and Jeff said no because she can’t meet any good men and she even asked Jeff if he knew anybody but he said that all the decent guys he knows are with somebody and “she’s gorgeous”, but maybe she’s too picky but Howard commented that Jeff should feel great around women like her being the greatest guy around them and that they eat their heart out that they can’t be with him because he’s married already, to which Jeff was just snickering

On his private life and family

- his first marriage didn’t end because he was a struggling actor but because his best friend had an affair with his wife, and he’s still his friend, it didn’t even faze him really, and wasn’t mad at her because “we shouldn’t have gotten married”, it was a stupid thing, they were married for like 3 months, but he was really disappointed with his buddy for breaking the bro code and didn’t talk to him for a year and then ended up with him in a fist fight at an audition at the Warner Brothers lot but then it was over and now they are buddies again, but his marriage was gonna get annulled regardless, they were both too young, too stupid and six years later they were friendly again with his ex-wife, it was a Vegas wedding because they didn’t have any money, and being married when you are broke is “ridiculous”, because he couldn’t even support himself or feed his dog

- he calls his new-born daughter Georgie, they named her after an episode of Bonanza (”A Girl Named George”) and Gus was named after Augustus McCrae in Lonesome Dove, because Jeff’s got “this western theme going” and thinks that “in my other life I must have been a cowboy of some sort”

- he could live without acting “a lot less”, he would be happy to do one movie a year, and do some writing and try directing at some point in his life, but he’s been so busy going from one job to the other and he feels like he’s missing out, he’s really feeling it now with Gus, when he leaves to work (he’s shooting The Walking Dead between the end of April until Thanksgiving) and he tries to get home on weekends but it’s not enough with an 8-year old and it gets really emotional, but with George “unless you have a boob with some milk in it, she doesn’t give a shit” and “she looks at me after like 5 minutes like ‘Where’s my mum? Give me my mum!’“

- Jeff doesn’t work out (”Dude, does it look like I work out? I throw around bails of hay around on the farm.”), he hasn’t seen the inside of a gym in 20 years, he works the farm as exercise, down in their basement they have a running machine but it just has 1 mile on and is “collecting dust”, Gus has a genetic disorder called PKU, his body can’t process protein so he eats a protein shake, which made Jeff’s and Hilarie’s diet much healthier, they watch what they eat, he walks his 120-acre farm as much as possible, he’s doing chores and dinking around, he chops a lot of wood, he heats his farm in the winter time with fire wood

- he doesn’t have a huge entourage, is “low maintenance”

- both of his kids were born at a hospital, not at home, he delivered them, cut the umbilical cord, had no idea what to do, thought he would be there just to lend support or hold a leg, but they had a midwife who pushed him in there as soon as the baby’s head was crowning, with Gus he waited too long and he got stuck in “no-man’s land” and “his head was shaped like a cone”, with George he was ready, and as soon as she crowned he grabbed her by the cheeks and pulled her right out perfectly

- Stern was wondering if having seen Hil give birth to their kids and the image of “the baby’s head poking through the vagina” is bothering Jeff sexually now, to which Jeff said that he has “seen a vagina before” and for some reason separates the two, it’s not the same thing, and Hil is “more beautiful than she’s ever been” and “was the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen while letting it all hang out”

- Stern asked if they went back right back into “banging” to which Jeff replied that it takes a little bit, a little healing and letting that rest, but “yeah, we do all right”

- Stern asked him if they wanted more kids, to which he said “Jeez, no! We’re tapping out. Oh, dude, I’m 52!”, it’s too perfect that they have a boy and a girl now, since they were trying for a second baby since Gus was born, it was a rough go, they lost a couple of babies, it was an emotional ride for them so now “we’re done” and he thinks he will "snip the balls”, if he did it to his donkey he “might as well do it to myself”, but he feels that now he’s almost so old it “maybe shouldn’t work anyway”, Stern suggested that he should wear a rubber, because it slows him down, to which Jeff replied “I got you, I feel you on that” and “I don’t know what we will do” and he’s gonna “Howard Stern my shit” and Stern added that fucking a woman is the greatest thing to which Jeff said it’s something magical, but they agreed to discuss this further together on a different occasion together with Norman

- during the farewells Jeff said to Stern that “I just love ya” and the thing he had been the most proud of in his career was being on the show before and he still has people coming up to him every day saying that his interview on Stern was the greatest thing they had ever heard

If you want to listen to the full interview, you can do it here.

[artificialqueens]

Roses and Violets (Katlaska) Chapter 2- Angelina

AN- Katya and Alaska, along with the other 8 queens, walk into the work room the next morning ready to compete for a spot in the drag race hall of fame. With all the surprises that Ru is throwing, they both are just trying to keep themselves together.

(Once again this story was betaed by the lovely, amazing Dottie. Hope you enjoy this chapter, I was a bitch to write. This chapter is almost 4k words, easily the longest single chapter I have ever written.)

“Счастливые голодные игры, суки.”, are the first words uttered in the work room the next morning. Katya struts through the doors confidently, or as confidently as a she can while also bursting from the seams with nerves. She still can’t believe that she got herself into this, what was she thinking? Shortly after making her opening remarks, she realizes she is the first one in the work room. She allows herself to take a deep breath and let some of the nerves slip away. ‘Good’ she thought, ‘Crisis about being critiqued the moment she walked in the door averted.’  

But she can’t help but think that maybe they put her first to show that it can only get better from here. She brushes those thoughts away immediately, ‘No Brian’ she thought, ‘We don’t think negatively about ourself anymore, remember?’  To combat that slight moment of weakness, she then immediately runs around the workroom while acting like her usual kooky self. Now she must wait for the next victim, I mean contestant.

A few minutes later, Katya hears the tell tale sign of clicking heels on floor. Her suspicions are proven correct as Detox ducks her way into the doorway. Well that’s one third of Rolaskatox right there. Katya theorizes that the other two members aren’t too far behind. She ignores the sliver of excitement she feels, as she moves to greet Detox.

They make small talk while waiting for whoever was next. Alyssa Edwards breaks the awkward tension with her huge personality the second she walks in the door as she heads straight for the mirror. Phi Phi O’Hara comes through the door next, speaking in riddles and looking like she just stepped out of a comic book.

Katya is caught off guard when Phi Phi says that she is afraid of kicking Katya off the show. She’s pretty sure that it’s meant to be a joke, and reacts appropriately. But there’s an inkling in the back of her mind that maybe Phi Phi isn’t joking. Maybe she is legitimately scared of the potential backlash that comes to whatever queen who manages to send Katya home.

When Katya was kicked off season 7 her fans attacked almost everyone, namely Kennedy and Jasmine. She loves her fans, but sometimes they can be so protective that they send hate and death threats to those who they think wronged her. She tried to pacify them before, but they can be very persistent. She hopes that this time around, everyone will come out unscathed.

When Ginger comes in, Katya is practically jumping in her seat because she was right, Ginger was trying to leave her hints! She runs to greet her friend, and envelopes her in a hug. “I knew it! I knew it!” Ginger shushes her, while rolling her eyes fondly before saying, “I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about.” She follows that statement up with a sly wink.

When Miss Thick and Juicy herself walks into the door next and  immediately runs towards Detox, it is pretty obvious that at least Rotox is still going strong. Coco Montrese walks through next, serving her good old fashioned Dorito realness. It’s good to see that her and Alyssa are on good terms now, Katya is happy that she and the other queens will not be subjected to that feud continuing.

A black umbrella is the next thing seen in the work room doorway. Katya tries to keep her excitement in check, because there is only one person who can be behind it. If the umbrella wasn’t a strong enough clue, the next words that were heard confirm her hunch, “Greetings, my message for the human race is really quite simple, hieeee!” Katya can’t keep a smile off her face when Alaska emerges from the umbrella, wearing her usual trash bag couture.

When Alaska moves over to greet the other queens, Katya purposely puts herself in her path. She’s a little surprised that Alaska only leans in to give not only her but everyone she goes up to air kisses. She surprised because usually Justin, especially when dressed as Alaska, is quite affectionate. Not even Detox or Roxxxy get proper hugs. She assumes Alaska is putting on an aloof exterior for the cameras, and lets it go. Tatianna and Adore come in not long after, bringing the total number of all stars to 10.

“Who’s ready to make teams?” Tatianna asks. Katya can’t keep the obvious cringe off her face. She hopes and prays that she isn’t tied to another queen for a whole season, she can barely be responsible for herself let alone someone else.

If she HAS to be paired with a queen she would probably pick Ginger. The worked well together on season 7, and they have the potential to be the Rujubee of All Stars 2. They will hold hands and cry when then finally have to go up against each other in the lipsync. Ru will be so moved that she will keep them both, it’ll be great.

Katya is pulled out of her thoughts when the trademark siren blares, followed by the phrase that to this day haunts her dreams, “She done already had herses.”

“Hello, hello, hello.” Rupaul exclaims while he enters the workroom. All the queens hurry to stand in a horizontal line in front of him. Katya ends up between Coco and Detox, with Alaska on Detox’s other side.

Rupaul then proceeds to blow their collective minds when he drops the bomb that he will not be sending anyone home this season. Katya knows that she is probably being really naive, but she can’t help that her first thought is that no one is going home the whole season. Not only that but she could walk away from the competition $350,000 richer, or you know whatever the correct math is.

Rupaul surprises them once again when he reveals that there first mini challenge they all get to read their fellow queens to the ground. Phi Phi goes first, who is followed by Detox and then it is Katya’s turn. She reads Coco and Ginger, but her last read on how she thinks about Roxxxy every morning at the bus stop gets the biggest reaction. Alaska almost falling to the floor in laughter. Katya feels just a smidge of satisfaction that she was able to get that reaction out of her.  

Coco goes after her and says something about how Katya can see Alaska from her house. Katya assumes it was supposed to be a Sarah Palin reference, and ignores the fact that she wishes that was possible. Not for stalker purposes or anything like that and we are getting a bit off topic, moving on.

They all go saying things that are both funny and cringe-worthy, until Alaska is the last queen to take her turn. As expected she reads the house down, then proceeds to fall on her ass sticking her legs up in the air. Katya feels fondness sneaking up on her. Alaska wins the reading challenge, which Katya thinks was the obvious choice. Ru moves on to say that their first main challenge will be a talent show, or as he likes to call it, “All Stars Talent Show Extravaganza”. With that announcement he exits the room, leaving all the queens to their own devices.

Katya moves to the closest table and starts de-dragging. Roxxxy and Detox skip past holding hands. She overhears Alyssa tell Alaska that they are leaving her out. Alaska replies that she doesn’t do that anymore, as Rolaskatox obviously didn’t work out for her the first time. Katya hopes she is telling the truth, but she does believe that Rolaskatox will rear its glamorous head eventually. But nonetheless, she will enjoy the absence of the clique while it lasts.

“So, what are you going to be doing?” someone says from behind her. Katya startles and quickly turns around, coming face to face with Alaska. Before she can respond, Alaska continues “Are you dancing?”

Katya smiles before replying, “Uh, no. More like gymnastics, it’s kind of my strong suit.” Alaska lets out a little laugh before saying, “Yes it is. If I had your flexibility, I would be showing it off at all times.”

Katya isn’t sure if she is flirting, but just in case she is responds accordingly, “If you ever want to have a personal show of what I can do with my flexibility, you know where to find me…..in the dumpster out back.” She winks, and immediately burst into laughter.

Alaska laughs along with her, but Katya is pretty sure that she sees a flash of lust in her eyes. She must be imagining it though, why would Alaska ever want to sleep with her. Katya is an unorganized mess, while Alaska seems to have everything in her life together.

“What are doing?” Katya asks, trying to steer the conversation away from a possibly uncomfortable situation. Alaska seems to accept the change of topic because she answers, “I am a singer/songwriter so I will be singing a song I wrote.”

Katya responds with a huge grin on her face, “I’m sure you will be fantastic.” Alaska gives her a shy smile, before she prances away. Katya watches her go, with that earlier fond feeling creeping back in.

Katya is still distracted by Alaska that she doesn’t notice Ginger creeping up behind her. “What was that about?” Katya once again jumps. People really need to stop sneaking up on her or she will eventually have a heart attack. She takes a deep breath before turning to Ginger, making sure to put an innocent look on her face, “I have no idea what you are talking about.”

Ginger rolls her eyes, “Yeah, I bet you don’t.” Katya tries to distract Ginger by asking about her act. Ginger takes the bait, as she explains that she will be singing.

Katya believes she is in the clear until Ginger leans in close to her and whispers in her ear, “Just be careful, you can’t afford to be distracted in this lovely situation we have gotten ourselves into.” With that she walks away, leaving Katya to her thoughts. Not long after that the producers usher them out of the work room, and into cars that will take them back to the hotel.

The next morning they all make there way back into the workroom ready to start preparing for the day to come. Katya is fairly confident in her act so her usual anxiety is at ease for once.

Apparently her calmness wasn’t being felt by everyone in the room as she heard a familiar drawl from across the room, “I’m really nervous, I think it’s too good to be true. I still think people are going home.” And now Katya’s sense of stability is immediately shattered, thanks Alaska.

Though Katya does have to concede, it probably is too good to be true. But maybe that is exactly what Ru wants them to think. Then they’ll be even more shocked when an even bigger twist is announced. Who knows what goes on in Rupaul’s mind. Katya barely knows what’s going on in her own mind most of the time.

Alaska poses the question to Phi Phi and Tatianna on why they decided to come back for All Stars. Katya completely checks out, though she probably could guess what their responses are. Phi Phi needs to salvage her bad reputation and Tatianna needs to prove that she still got it.

Katya is busy going over her gymnastic routine in her head, and this is why she is once again alarmed by Alaska’s voice. “What about you Katya?”

“What about me?” Katya responds, not sure where the conversation has gotten to while her attention has been elsewhere. “Why did you decide to come back?” Alaska asks, coming closer to Katya and coming to a stop right next to her.

Katya is a bit caught off guard but Alaska is looking at her waiting for her response so she answers, “Um well I think I decided to come back because my head wasn’t 100% in it the first time around. I was too busy wrestling with my own demons to focus on actually winning the crown.”

Alaska nods her head in understanding, “Yeah, I get that. When I was on season 5, I was so worried about being compared to Sharon I couldn’t fully focus on what was important.”

Katya isn’t exactly sure how to respond but Alaska continues looking around to make sure the cameras weren’t focused on them, “For what it’s worth, I really admire you for being so open with your struggles. Sure people know about me getting sober, but they don’t know how hard it was.”

Katya is about to open her mouth but Alaska once again cuts her off, “If you ever need to talk to someone who knows what you are going through, you can always talk to me.” With that she winks, and walks away.  Katya is thrown off by the gesture because she knows that it wasn’t Alaska talking to Katya, but Justin talking to Brian.

Katya quickly whirls her head around, seeing if anyone caught this exchange. Everyone’s attention seems to be elsewhere, until Katya turns her attention to Ginger, who gives her an exasperated look and shakes her head.

Eventually it is time for the talent show. Katya can’t help but purposely sit close to Alaska, but she is sure to at least leave a seat between them which Roxxxy quickly takes. Katya laughs and claps accordingly, but her focus isn’t completely there as she continues to steal glances at Alaska.

It gets so bad and obvious that Roxxxy notices her, catching Katya’s eyes and raising a perfectly drawn-on eyebrow. Katya tries to smile, though she is pretty sure it looks more like a grimace and quickly turns her attention to the stage where Detox is spreading paint on her ass.

After Detox finishes, a producer comes up to her Katya signaling that she should head back stage to get ready for her act. The moment the producer leaves, the nerves that have been dormant all day come up all at once. Katya takes a deep breath, gets up from her chair, and moves towards the end of the aisle.

A hand reaches out and grabs her arm before she can exit the aisle fully. Her eyes trail up the arm, until she is looking right into Alaska’s brown colored contacts. “Good luck.” Alaska says, with a huge grin on her face before she takes her hand away. Katya smiles back and fully exits the aisle.

As she is heading backstage she realizes that all her nerves are once again settled. Who knew one touch could appease her anxiety, at least for a little while.

Katya thinks her routine got over well, the audience seem to enjoy her slamming her vagina into the ground. When Katya makes her way back to take her seat, Alaska meets her eyes once again. This time she gives her a thumbs up accompanied by a huge smile. Katya grins from ear to ear as she takes her seat.

Katya actually pays attention to the next two acts. She is so occupied with watching the stage that she doesn’t even notice Alaska’s absence until she turns her head after Roxxxy’s performance and finds her seat empty. She doesn’t have to chance to wonder long about Alaska’s whereabouts though before she flounces out onto the stage.

Alaska sings a song about how gay she is, and Katya laughs and claps along with the rest of the audience. Katya has seen Alaska perform live a few times before, and she can’t help but classify Alaska a natural performer. She seems so at home on the stage, and Katya mentally adds that to the list of things she admires about the 49th state.

When Alaska is done with her performance, she makes her way off the stage and takes the seat right next to Katya. Katya tenses, not exactly sure what to do with Alaska so close. Alaska leans closer and whispers in Katya’s ear. “So, how did I do?”

Katya audibly gulps, before responding “Uh, I think you did great.” Alaska smiles, “Really? Thanks!” She squeezes Katya’s arm and leans away. Katya takes a deep breath and turns her attention towards the stage. Tatianna closes out the show with a spoken word piece titled “Same Parts”. Katya, along with the rest of the audience, is living for every second of it.

The audience leave once the show is over and the queens all conjugate on the stage and wait for their critiques. Rupaul then proceeds to drop a huge bomb on them. While Rupaul isn’t going to be eliminating any queens this season, queens are still going to be going home each week. The queens will be eliminating each other. Katya doesn’t think she can take anymore surprises.

Thankfully some higher power is on her side this week as Katya, Alyssa and Detox are called safe right off the back. However instead of being told to head to the untucked lounge like they are used to, they are told to stand at the back of the stage. Katya is pretty sure that Ru decided to keep them there for a reason, as she looks at Alyssa and Detox she is quite positive that they are thinking the exact same thing.

As the safe three come to a stop at the back of the stage, the critiques start. Adore is first and she gets absolutely eviscerated by Michelle. Katya’s eyes widen in shock, and with a quick look around she sees that she isn’t the only one surprised by Michelle’s bluntness. All the thoughts that Katya had about all stars just being a fun experience are quickly dashed.

If she thought season 7 was hard, it is quite obvious now All Stars 2 will be even worse. Katya thinks that Rupaul kept the safe queens on stage so they can see while they may be safe now, that won’t always be the case. They can slip up once and get the same treatment Adore is being subjected to now. The judges continue their critiques before naming Tatianna and Roxxxy as the top two, and Adore, Coco and Phi Phi are revealed to be the bottom 3. With those announcements, they are told to make their way back to the work room.

When they make there way back, they sit on the couch and discuss how the deliberation should go. “How should we do this? Should we eliminate or biggest competition, or should we eliminate the person who we think did the worst in the challenge?” Roxxxy asks. Katya continues, “Do you eliminate the weakest or do you eliminate the strongest?”

Ginger cuts in by asking, “And if you squeak by because of a friendship, don’t you think the backlash from that will be even worse?” Katya is pretty sure that Ginger casts a glance at each former member of Rolaskatox while saying that, but they all are none the wiser as they nod in agreement.

“This sucks, but a decision has to be made.” Alaska projects, while all the other queens attention is pulled towards her. “ My perspective is you have to base it off the challenge itself. That seems like the only way we can find some fairness out of this entire crazy thing that Ru has thrown at us.”

Roxxxy verbally agrees by turning to Alaska fully and saying, “If I do bad one week and end up in the bottom, please send me home.” Alaska nods in acknowledgement but casts her eyes to the floor, seeming to be deep in thought.  Roxxxy obviously doesn’t pick up on something being wrong because she pulls the bottom 3 girls aside one by one so they can say their piece on why they deserve to stay.

Alaska, who was sitting on a chair behind the couches, sits down on the cushion next to Katya. Katya reaches out and put her hand on Alaska thigh, successfully getting her attention, “Hey, you okay?” Alaska looks up from the ground and into Katya’s blue eyes.

On the inside Alaska is freaking out. Even though all the queens had agreed to base the elimination of of the challenge going forward, she isn’t confident she will be able to stick to it in the future. If one week both Roxxxy and Detox were in the bottom and Alaska was in the top, she isn’t sure if she would be able to follow through with sending one of her best friends home. She knows that friendship shouldn’t be a factor because overall it’s an unfair advantage. But she puts all those worries aside for now, she will worry about all that when the time comes.

For now she rest her hand on top of Katya’s and squeezes, “Not exactly, but I will be.”, she says before she takes her hand away and walks towards the mirrors. Katya watches her go, not saying a word.

Tatianna and Roxxxy lip sync to “Shake It Off” by Taylor Swift. Roxxxy is declared the winner, and she decides to eliminate Coco. One down, nine to go. Now all the queens know what is expected of them each and every week. Friendships will be tested, hearts will be broken, and they just have to endure the bumpy ride.

[hollywoodages-blog]

Cara Delevingne Height Weight Measurements

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Cara Delevingne Height Weight Measurements

Cara Delevingne Biography

Cara Jocelyn Delevingne born 12 August 1992 is an English design model and on-screen character. She marked with Storm Model Management subsequent to leaving school in 2009. Delevingne won the “Model of the Year” grant at the British Fashion Awards in 2012 and 2014 and has showed up in appears for houses including Burberry, Chanel, Mulberry, Dolce and Gabbana, and Jason Wu. She began her acting vocation with a minor part in the 2012 film adjustment of Anna Karenina. Her initially real parts were as Margo Roth Spiegelman in the sentimental secret film Paper Towns (2015), Kath Talent in London Fields, and the Enchantress in the comic book film Suicide Squad (2016). Delevingne was conceived in Hammersmith, London, the little girl of Pandora Anne Delevingne and property engineer Charles Hamar Delevingne. She experienced childhood in Belgravia, London, one of the wealthiest areas on the planet. Delevingne has two more seasoned sisters, Chloe and model Poppy Delevingne. Her guardian is Condé Nast official Nicholas Coleridge and her back up parent is performer Joan Collins. She went to Francis Holland School for Girls in focal London, until the point when she was 16, preceding moving to Bedales School in Hampshire. She has dyspraxia and therefore discovered school testing. In June 2015, in a meeting with Vogue, Delevingne discussed her fight with dejection when she was 15 years of age. She stated, “I was hit with a huge flood of dejection and nervousness and self-loathing, where the sentiments were painful to the point that I would pummel my head against a tree to attempt to thump myself out.” At age 16, subsequent to finishing her GCSE examinations she moved to Bedales School in Hampshire, to concentrate on show and music. Following one year she dropped out and took after the profession way of her sister, Poppy, into displaying. Cara Delevingne Height Weight, Relationship History Below.

Cara Delevingne Personal Info.

Full Name: Cara Jocelyn Delevingne

Nick Name: Cara

Family: Charles Delevingne (Father) Pandora Delevingne (Mother) Poppy Delevingne (Older Sister) Chloe Delevingne (Older Sister) Jocelyn Stevens (Maternal Grandfather)

Education: Cara went to Frances Holland School for Girls close Sloane Square. Afterward, she went the life experience school, Bedales.

Date of Birth: 12th August, 1992

Birthplace: London, England, UK

Zodiac Sign: Leo

Religion: Christian

Ethnicity: White

Nationality: British

Profession: Actress, Singer, Socialite, Novelist, Fashion Model

Measurements: 32-24-34 in or 81-61-86 cm

Bra Size: 32B

Height: 5′ 8″ (173 cm)

Weight: 110lbs (50 kg)

Eye Color: Blue

Hair Color: Blonde

Dress Size: 4

Shoe Size: 8.5

Boyfriend/Dating History:

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Rita Ora (2011) – Cross-sexual blonde supermodel, Cara was RUMORed to date with Kosovar vocalist, Rita Ora. They met quite a while before at a celebration. Rita says “She’s formally mine. She’s, similar to untouchable. I’ve taken her off the market. We call each other wifey”. Harry Styles (2012) – One Direction’s Harry Styles was RUMORed to date her as he was seen outside a club with Cara. Jake Bugg (2012-2013) – Another British vocalist, Jake Bugg dated Cara from December 2012 to April 2013. They initially met by means of a shared companion, Rita Ora. Jake, who is known for rehashed feedback of the diagram topping boyband was dumped via Cara after almost 4 months of dating. Gaz Beadle (2013) – Geordie Shore’s Gaz Beadle had a hurl with the supermodel in 2013. Presently, subsequent to getting isolated, Cara appears to have grown genuine pound again on Gaz after they traded Twitter messages. Dailymail.co.uk affirmed that. Michelle Rodriguez (2014) – The model was seen offering a kiss to American on-screen character and The Fast and the Furious acclaim Michelle Rodriguez amid a b-ball game on January 7, 2014. They were RUMORed to date each other until June 2014. They, be that as it may, met without precedent for October 2013. Jack O’Connell (2014) – Cara was RUMORed to have had a hurl with on-screen character Jack O’Connell in November 2014. St. Vincent (2014-2016) – American artist, St. Vincent and Cara began dating in December 2014. They started engagement bits of gossip in July 2016 when she was seen with St. Vincent wearing a ring (which resembled a wedding band) in an Instagram picture. The couple finished their adoration life in September 2016.

Known For: New Supers, The Money Girls

Active Year: 2009 (present)

Friend: Barbara Palvin, Tali Lennox, Rita Ora (singer), Tiger Lily Taylor (model), Georgia May Jagger (model), Kate Moss (model), Sienna Miller (actress), Alexa Chung, Coco Rocha, Karolina Kurkova, Rufus Taylor (drummer), Suki Waterhouse (model), Harry Styles, Candice Swanepoel, Taylor Swift, Jourdan Dunn (model), Rihanna (singer), Miley Cyrus (singer), Gala Gordon (actress), Jazzy De Lisser (model and actress), Adwoa Aboah (model and actress), Kendall Jenner, Selena Gomez, Hailee Steinfeld, Karlie Kloss, Nat Wolff, Gigi Hadid

Favorite People: Kate Moss, Rita Ora, Jordan Dunn, St Vincent

Favorite Places: South Africa, England

Favorite Foods: Mayo smothered chips, Orange juice soaked cottonballs, Bacon

Favorite Colors: Periwinkle Blue

Fashion Labels: Christopher Bailey and Burberry, Mulberry for bags, and Hudson for jeans

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See Also: Rosie Whiteley Body Measurements

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