#the way he didnt even like his little daffodil :((

[angstflavoured]

sorry charlie fucking hanging out with glep and making the snowman; complimenting allan and saying how handsome and smart he is; saying the Boss is the funniest person he knows; charlies bitch ass will do just abt anything but be nice to pim

[rayplaysotomes]

Hello! I have a lot of fun researching flower language and thought I'd do an analysis on the flower symbolism throughout the game Mystic Messenger since it's one of my favourite games and I havent seen anyone else point these out.

  All throughout Another Story, V talks about daffodils at various moments. For example, theres one part where he talks about daffodils that bloomed in his garden that looked withered. He said that he thought the smaller flowers beside them might be taking energy from the daffodils which is why they looked so withered. He knew if he didnt do something about it, his whole garden would be ruined, but he couldnt decide whether he should just get rid of the daffodils or not, because it seemed unfair. Then after he left Jumin said the daffodils were already dead and V either genuinely didnt know or he was in denial. Even in the opening song for his route the lyrics talk about daffodils: https://youtu.be/e_bTKNImcGM

  Since daffodils are the first to bloom in the spring, they're symbols of rebirth and hope. They signify new life and resilience, which seems to tie in a lot with Rika's goals and visions for Mint Eye's future. She talks a lot about how she wants to make a paradise for people who weren't able to fit in or survive in the outside world, to get stronger.

  What I found even more interesting, was that in the context of a relationship, daffodils signify unrequited or broken love and are to be given to someone as a form of condolence or a farewell to someone you once loved. What I found interesting about that was how often Rika talked about how unconditional love wasn't the correct way in her eyes, and that you should love someone conditionally so that they can grow stronger.  This is often shown with how she'd try to cleanse Saeran with elixir if he started doubting Mint Eye or did something she didnt like, but then when the drugs kicked in she'd shower him with praise. This also ties in with how Rika had talked about V showing her the wrong love. She says he doesn't know how to love her correctly, which was part of her motivation with Mint Eye, and how she wanted to bring the RFA to Mint Eye to make them stronger and show them the right path. 

  As for blue roses, which are very prevalent in Saeran's route, they symbolize hope or attaining the impossible, along with beauty.

I feel like this could've had something to do with the fact that Ray often talked about wanting something better but didnt feel like he deserved it. For example, when MC mentions wanting to leave Mint Eye with him because of how terribly hes being treated there. He genuinely believed that Rika was doing what was best and didnt want to betray her. Even if she was manipulating him, from his perspective it seemed like she was showing him love and helping him grow stronger, unlike how he had been treated during his childhood by his mother, and how he thinks Saeyoung abandoned him to escape from their mother.

  This part I'm a little bit uncertain about just because it doesnt match quite as well and doesnt have as much significance as the blue roses, much less the daffodils. However, I still had fun researching this and thinking of possible connections so I thought I'd include it anyways. As a little bonus, theres those wilting flowers that Rika showed MC, that she said Ray gave to her before he died - that meaning before he became saeran - the type of flower they are was never actually stated so this is just going off how they look, but I believe they're red geraniums.

  Red geraniums symbolize happiness, good health, good wishes, and friendship, and are used to ward off illness. However in the victorian era, they symbolized foolishness or stupidity. Judging based on chatrooms and conversations with Ray, he definetely puts a lot of thought into what flowers he gives someone and doesnt base it purely off of how they look. For example, he said in a phone call that anemone flowers were beautiful but didnt want to give them to MC because the meaning was sad. I believe he could've given these to her knowing both meanings.

  The first few meanings could've been about how he wanted to trust her and how she showed him love he hadn't experienced before. Because of the way that Rika worded it, I'm led to believe this was fairly close to when Rika cleansed him and Saeran took over. Meaning Ray wouldve started doubting Rika a bit more and realizing she was manipulating him, so I feel like the foolishness or stupidity could've had to do with that. It was possibly either him calling her stupid, or calling himself stupid because he wants to trust her but doesnt.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed my little rant!  It's very possible that I'm overthinking it but I enjoy learning about flowers and their meanings so this was a lot of fun for me to write.

[selenes-sun]

If This Was Love//

James Potter x gn! Reader

Word Count: 1.3k

Masterlist

A/N: Im sorry it's sort of short but I wrote something! I didnt think the day would ever come again tbh but here's some James content and feedback and reblogs are always appreciated!

daffodil; a flower symbolizing rebirth or unrequited love

Key- (Y/n)=Your name (F/d)=Favorite Drink

Warnings: Unrequited Love, Mentions of liquids

“James stop!” You shrieked, a laugh escaping past your lips as James Potter himself started chasing you around your backyard. You ran from him as fast as you could, running out of breath quickly from all the laughter. That couldn’t defeat him though because soon enough James caught up with you with his cup of water still in hand and he ended up dumping it all over you.

“Gotcha’ love,” He said with a smirk and a slightly breathless laugh escaped past his lips as you yelped in the surprise of the cold water raining down on you. Shaking yourself off, making sure to splash some water on him you raised your fingers playfully and his eyes widened before he ran off faster than anyone you know.

“I know where you’re ticklish, Potter!” You shouted to your boyfriend as he ran as far and as fast as he could. He looked back and when he realized how close you were getting to him his eyes widened and he quickly headed toward your patio and when he got to the platform he looked at you with a triumphant smile.

“This is the safe zone, as long as I’m in here you can’t tickle me.” He put his hand on his hips and strutted around before blowing you a kiss which you laughed at.

“Oh come on, at least give me an actual kiss before I accept my defeat,” Laughing, you put your hands up in surrender before letting them fall to your sides, trying to gain his trust. If anyone else was looking at you they would see the mischievous shimmer in your eye and would most likely be afraid.

But James? Your dear James? He was like an oblivious puppy and you knew that he would fall for your so-called defeat. As James gave you one final suspicious look he stepped down from the patio and pulled you in close.

As he lifted your chin so your eyes could meet you could see the love in his eyes and you almost — keyword almost — felt bad for what you were about to do next. As he pulled you in for a slow and gentle kiss you wrapped his arms around his waist and immediately attacked him with your fingers.

He quickly pulled away and burst out laughing, squirming at the sensation at his sides. Although you still felt a little bad, nothing could stop the evil smile from making its way onto your face as you saw him bending down to control his breath.

You saw him raise your hands in a stop motion and you pulled back, slowly backing away in a defensive matter. Running to the porch you stood, proud that you could get away, and sat down in your chair. Pouring yourself something to drink you watched as James finally caught his breath and soon enough he joined you, sitting in the seat across from you.

“I gotta admit, I should’ve seen that coming,” He breathed out, pouring himself his own drink. You just smiled innocently at him and continued to drink your (f/d). When you both finished, the Gryffindor across from you grabbed your chair and scooted it so you sat right next to him.

“And what are you doing,” You asked, making eye contact with him.

“If you really want to know, I’m kissing my wonderful partner,” He pulled you in close and you suddenly became more aware of your surroundings. You could feel the breeze from the warm summer air and you could hear the rustle of the trees brushing together. You saw all the different colored specks in his hazel eyes and suddenly you saw darkness as you closed your eyes when he pulled you in for a soft and gentle kiss.

That’s almost always how your kisses went, you never knew what James felt in those moments but you seemed to become hyper-aware of everything around you.

“(Y/n), (Y/n),” Sirius called your name from the spot next to you and you seemed to snap out of your daydream that had never even existed in the first place. At first, you were staring at James and Lily dancing in their small backyard but those two were long gone and now you were staring at Dorcas and Marlene dancing and laughing with each other in the same spot.

“You seemed to be deep in thought and I thought you might’ve needed a distraction, would you care for a dance?” Sirius offered his hand out to you and you looked at it before shaking your head and pushing his hand back toward him.

“Don’t worry about me, go dance with your own beloved,” You said with a teasing smile. Sirius playfully rolled his eyes at you before pointing his thumb over to Remus where he was chatting it up with some old lady.

“As you can see, he has better things to do,” Sirius said sarcastically and you let out a short laugh before he offered his hand out to you again. “Come on, just one dance.”

You looked at his hand reluctantly before finally accepting it and standing out of your seat. As soon as you were up he started to drag you to the dance floor where he put his arms around you like you were about to ballroom dance.

“I know you were thinking about James,” He said to you quietly once you started dancing.

“How did you-”

“I could see it in your eyes darling,” He looked at you with a look that you couldn’t decipher and you looked down, biting your lip, deciding his shoes looked far more interesting.

“Where are the bride and groom anyway?” You looked up and he looked behind you with a sorrowful look on his face. When you turned you could see them smiling and leaning in for a kiss but before their lips touched you looked back at Sirius and saw he was staring at you with a look of pity.

“I think we’ve had more than one dance,” you whispered, stepping back slowly before going back to your table. You were happy for Lily and James, but seeing your best friend and knowing that he would only ever be your best friend and nothing more was like an arrow to the heart.

You were so caught up in your thoughts that you didn’t even see James approach you and you jumped in surprise when he put his hand on your shoulder.

“Whoah there, sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you but I wanted to ask if you could possibly give a speech, as my best friend you know?” You felt the arrow twist and dig deeper into your heart at his words but you gave him a soft smile instead of saying anything.

“Of course,” At your response, he pulled you up into a quick tight hug of gratitude and left back to his table quickly. Feeling tears well up in your eyes you blinked them away and sat down to take a sip of your drink.

Walking upon the makeshift stage moments later, you tapped your glass lightly until you got the attention of everyone in the room and you were suddenly hyper-aware of your surroundings. Some people were still murmuring and you could almost feel the breeze that had yet to come on that wonderful night. What stood out to you was Lily and James staring at you intently with big smiles of their own, waiting for you to start.

“I’d like to start with congratulations to the bride and groom-” You spoke and as you recited the rest of your speech you could feel the flowers wilting and hear the beautiful sorrow from the crickets’ songs. He might not be yours in a romantic way but knowing that you’d always have him by your side made you feel slightly better.

If you want to be added to my taglist just fill out this form: selenes-sun taglist

General Harry Potter TG: @mischiefsemimanaged, @poppin-peters, @angelxnaa, @im-a-toaster, @catching-the-train-to-hogwarts

James Potter TG: @frecklesandfirecrackers

[un2-verse]

BILLY — Kim Taehyung (1)

》 News of a Sadistic Serial Killer nicknamed “Jigsaw” is spreading around town like wildfire… the nickname stemming from the puzzle piece he cuts from every victim’s body. No one knows who he’ll trap next but in a town full of delinquents and criminals, it could never be you. Right? 《

pairings: john kramer!taehyung x female reader

warnings: dark themes, angst, yandere, murder, torture, self harm, suicide, stalking etc.... (will add more when i know lol) although it is rather innocent in the first couple chapters(?) so idk it could be slow burn but i guess we’ll find out as i write it >< ,, it’s my version of saw if saw was a fucked up love story lol. Please don’t read if any of the topics mentioned trigger you!! 18+

this fic is exactly that, fiction!!!! the au does not represent the characters mentioned irl......

synopsis: you end up lost on the other side of town, where you cross paths with a handsome stranger, kim taehyung, only.... are you a stranger to him?

[a/n: daffodils represent; love me, sympathy, desire and affection returned...]

word count: 3k

series masterlist

part two

——————————————————————————

Hiding behind a mask was something you were accustomed to. Your friend group and family were clueless to the torment you endured from simply existing. You were confident your masking had convinced the world you were happy with yourself. Unbeknown to you, one other person saw straight through your façade.

You wanted to end your life.

He needed you to cherish your life.

Nothing looked familiar. The café you frequented was nowhere to be found. Your usual hangout was most definitely not on the side of town you found yourself in. You felt anxiety slowly curl its way around your body, you were frigid. You tried and tried but couldn’t find it in yourself to run.

You lived in the more friendly part of town (so to speak) – where houses were colourful, gardens pristine, warm-hearted neighbours who would treat you like family and white picket fences are what surrounded you. That was your norm, sure, you weren’t exactly loaded but you weren’t exactly poor either. It was a healthy balance in the middle. That’s not to say you hadn’t lived or seen this side of town before.

Your Mother and Father had grown up on this side of the fence. Two young people brought up in the rougher, more unfortunate areas. Your Mother was tough; she looked like a naïve, weak girl, albeit that was not the case. She was strong willed, used to life on the streets and doing anything she could to get money to make sure there was at least some food on the table. While your Mum was the leader, your Dad was more of a sheep. He was easily influenced and was dragged into the wrong crowd (had his fair share with drugs and street racing). That was their life for a few years till they crossed paths and your Mum helped your Dad get back on the right track.

They didn’t tell you much about their childhood and adolescence but they told you enough to make you appreciate what you have and to always work hard for it. To stick with the right people, be wise and conscious of your decisions. Be kind to those around you.

Your family owned a garage; your Dad was the head mechanic. This was the sole reason you were here. You knew it wouldn’t be simple when you agreed to go to this side of town to get a few bits for your Father’s shop. However, you didn’t expect it to be this difficult. How could you be so stupid? Why didn’t you just ask Hoseok and Yoongi to come with you like your father told you to? Or at least tell them where you were… yet you decided today of all days to be stubborn and venture on yourself, knowing full well how unsafe the area was. There were rundown businesses on either side of the road, beggars at every doorstep; drug dealings happening in broad daylight, no one even trying to hide it.

You felt your phone buzz in your pocket, you took it out and sighed a breath of relief once you’d read the texts.

14:37— From Papa: U ok munchkin ??? Did u get the stuff ?

14:39— From Papa: its ok if u didnt. Yoongs rang said hes got majority this morning lol so be safe n get home soon . Love u

14:40— To Papa: ohhh ok pops, i couldn’t find the shop anyway lol i’ll head back soon, love u too x

*LOW BATTERY*

“Fuck, trust me to forget to charge the bastard.” You rolled your eyes as you stuffed the phone back in your pocket.

Muffled shouting was heard around you. People ran across the street, bumping into you as they ran past. You gathered yourself and moved further down the path. “Great!” you exasperated, “honestly I’m so fucking stupid! Yoongi’s gonna kill me for this, I knew, I knew I should’ve told him I was coming over here but no,” your head was hung low as you dragged your feet across the pavement, “maybe I could tell Hobi, he wouldn’t be as angry right? I’m sure he’ll come,“ A sudden scream ripped you out of your chuntering. You whipped your head to the right, you could make out some figures bustling about in front of you, a group of men were quite clearly fighting… your anxiety struck you and you held your breath as you saw a man pull a knife from the waistband of his sweatpants. All thoughts and common sense seemed to leave all at once. Statue like, feet stuck to the ground. You watched on as the group rushed towards the brown haired man, you scanned his figure: tall, broad, confident… he exuded an intimidating aura even when you were this far away from him.

How could someone be so sure of themselves? It was one against five, surely the loner had no chance?

The glistening of the knife brought you back to your senses. Fucking hell. How do you always end up in these situations when you’re alone? Why me? Why? Good Lord, I need to run. Just as you were about to leave, the group who were arguing charged past you; one gripped his side as another supported his weight. Holy fuck, did he stab him? you stood frozen, yet again, your mind raced a mile a minute. Panic bubbled in your chest.

“You okay there Doll?” His voice was deep, velvet-like. It flowed so smoothly you doubted it was real, it was so soothing like it had wrapped itself around you, embracing your body. You heard his footsteps before he planted himself beside you. His shoulder reached the top of your head, his hand brushed yours. Swallowing your nerves you dared a glance up. He was fucking breath-taking, like a fallen angel. The stranger shot you a small smile that you would’ve easily missed had you not been staring at his features… a blush crept up your neck as you nodded. His smile slowly twisted into a smirk.

Cute, Taehyung thought to himself. Couldn’t help but adore the way you slightly trembled under his gaze, the way your hands gripped and twisted your sweater paws. Almost like a puppy. He cleared his throat and reached his hand to yours, “Sorry, I should’ve introduced myself. I’m Taehyung.” you took his hand into yours, apprehensively you greeted him, “I’m Y/N.”

“Ah, Y/N. I haven’t seen you round here before, you new or something?” Taehyung cocked his head to the side, his eyes seemed to stare right through you.

“Uhm, I don’t live here. I live over the other part of Town… I was just grabbing some stuff for my Dad but, my phones about to die. I have no idea where I am or how to get home, I’m sorry, I promise I didn’t see anything!” a deep chuckle cut you off, Taehyung smiled and beckoned you to follow him.

“Come on Y/N, you’re not suited for this side of Town, I’ll walk you back. A pretty little thing like you, you’re easy prey to these guys.” your feet fell into a cautious pace behind him, he glanced over his shoulder, “hurry up Buttercup, I don’t bite.” Taehyung flashed a boxy grin in your direction, which caused you to speed up ever so slightly.

You were unsure how you felt about letting a complete stranger walk you home, Yoongi would definitely kill you for this. Especially with the recent news of some serial killer named ‘Jigsaw’, Yoongi and Hoseok had been very stern and their usual, overprotective selves when the news had broken out. “It’s on every headline Y/Nie! No more leaving the house on yourself, you need to go anywhere you ring either of us. Got it? Don’t talk to anyone you don’t know either. There’s some dodgy fucks about recently.” Although, you loved them dearly, sometimes their protectiveness was a...little overbearing. You already felt suffocated from your parents (you didn’t need it from your best friends as well). They were happy and believed you to be too; but that was exhausting, faking happiness. You had a constant façade, acted like a happy normal teenager with a happy family; when that was far from the truth.

Drowning. That’s how you’d explain the way you felt. Breathing was difficult and brought you more pain than it was worth. Growing up was tedious, you had grown differently to your peers which only brought ridicule and embarrassment for you. You had struggled with your speech (sometimes you still do), you often stuttered, mispronounced words, the list was endless. That was one of the first reasons you were a castaway. As you grew, the ridicule worsened. Verbal abuse turned physical from your classmates. They made you feel like you were a waste of space. The names they called you, you soon started to believe them. Ugly. Weird. Freak. Stupid. They took root in your brain, slowly they grew and grew till your head was overgrown with twisted, rotten weeds.

Eventually, you sought comfort in blood. You didn’t care that it hurt you; you were almost happy to feel pain. Like you deserved to.

By age 14, you had started to skip school. Only ever there for exams and a couple of art classes you had with Jeongguk. He was what you would’ve called a best friend, he supported you and was by your side till you left school. He went away to college and like always with school friends, you drifted apart. Nevertheless, he still texts you now and then to check in.

Although you were (once) close with Jeongguk. He never knew of your inner demons, the same with Yoongi and Hoseok. You didn’t want to feel like a burden and worry your friends when they had shit to worry about themselves.

Why devastate flowers that flourish beautifully with weeds that manage to twist their way around every crack?

You had walked for a few minutes now, having chatted absentmindedly about anything and everything. The roads still didn’t look familiar to you and you just wished they did, you didn’t want to be away from your home any longer, your feet were starting to ache, your phone was on 10% battery and it was fucking cold. You just wanted to be back in bed tucked up watching Lady and the Tramp or 101 Dalmatians for the millionth time. You felt safe and content when you indulged in your comfort films. Far away from the real world and wrapped up in the false reality. They easily distracted you and that's when you truly felt at peace. Your mind was always too busy thinking about how cute it was when Tramp calls Lady, Pidge or how in love Pongo and Perdy were.

Majority of the time you fantasised about having a love similar, but then again, why would you wanna make yourself vulnerable like that? Is the risk of being hurt (more than you are now) any good? Of course it’s not. Fuck that, life isn’t nothing like those shitty romance films or novels… It’s real and painful.

As you and Taehyung rounded the corner, a little cafe caught your eye, a dainty blue and pink building. Fairy Lights strung up around the windows, you could see a handful of people inside, busy sipping their drinks and chatting away to one another. ‘Aroma Mocha’ hung above the doors. It looked so cute and simple. Your previous thoughts left your mind as quick as they had come. You wanted to go inside, it had an enticing atmosphere.

Taehyung hadn’t realised you’d stopped walking until he couldn’t hear the soft thud of your footsteps behind him, he turned as he called out to you, your eyes still fixed on the cafe. He chuckled to himself, “Fucking adorable, like a kid at christmas,” he walked back over to you. “Hey Doll, you wanna go in?” He felt his heart quicken when you looked at him with those pretty eyes, “We’ve plenty of time to get you back before it’s dark angel.” You answered him with a nod as you turned your head from Taehyung to look back at the alluring little cafe.

Not a second had passed before Taehyung grabbed your hand and pulled you across the road to the entrance; you ignored the warmth of his hand as it intertwined with yours; you ignored the way your tummy erupted with butterflies. Taehyung had stopped to hold the door for you, you murmured a small, “thank you,” looking up at him, the heat that crept up your cheeks making your face resemble that of a doll’s he thought to himself. Once he ushered you fully inside, he placed his hand to rest on the curve of your waist as he guided you to the back corner of the room, where a quaint table for two was unoccupied, a little pot of Daffodils sat atop. How fitting...

Taehyung was quick to pull the chair out for you to take a seat, you pulled it in as you sat down and sent a shy smile his way, “I’m sorry, I know we just met Taehyung but this place is so fucking precious! I hope I’m not bothering you, if I am we can just carry on walking or, I could ring a Taxi? Is this weird? Oh god, I can’t believe--”, Taehyung threw his head back as he laughed, a sound that seemed to wrap its way around your soul, twisting around your heart in the nicest of ways, it was almost like a killer to the weeds taking over your body. A temporary release. You felt like you could really breathe in those short seconds of his laughter.

“Angel, if you were bothering me, I’d have kept on walking. That, or I would’ve called you a Taxi myself, it’s no problem honestly.” You ducked your head as he sent a wink your way, fuck sake Y/N get it together! Why are you acting like a fucking schoolgirl?

“Well I uh, appreciate it so, yeah thank you?” You don’t know what to do, you’re here with the most gorgeous person you’ve ever laid your eyes on… yet you have no clue if what you saw was real, did Taehyung stab someone? Could someone have had the knife who wasn’t Taehyung? Was he even the person you saw in that altercation? Did you imagine everything that had gone off?

Before you had chance to overthink it, a light bubbly voice greeted your ears, “Hi! Welcome to Aroma Mocha, I’m Jimin and I’ll be your server today. Is there anything I can get you?” Jimin held his gaze on you as he flashed you a friendly smile, Taehyung turned around at the sound of his best friend, “Oh, Tae! I wasn’t expecting to see you today, what are you doing here? And who’s this pretty little lady?”

“This is Y/Nie, she was in the neighbourhood so we thought we’d nip in for something to drink before I take her back to hers.” you sent a warm smile to Jimin which he gladly returned, “I’ll have my usual and can you get Y/Nie a Strawberry Iced Tea? Thanks man.”

Once Jimin had disappeared to make your drinks, you shot your eyes to Taehyung, “Uhm, how’d you know I like Strawberry Iced Tea?” Taehyung didn’t even look in your direction as he scrolled through his phone, eyes glued to the screen. A minute passed by and he’d still not acknowledged your question so you let it slide, it wasn’t that big of a deal right? Your mind drifted. Your fingers rested atop of your lap, hidden from the sight of onlookers, picking around your nails as anxiety flooded your body. You felt like you were about to suffocate. You shouldn’t be talking to anyone, you shouldn’t let anyone close. You were only going to fuck everything up in a heartbeat. It’s only natural. Self deprecating thoughts devoured and made their way through your veins, poisoning yourself further; your whole body felt as though it was alight.

Jimin brought you your drinks, placed them carefully in front of the pair of you as you both said your thanks.

The click of Taehyung’s phone being locked and the clearing of his throat brought you back to your senses. “The drink I ordered for you is popular here so, I assumed you’d like to try it. You wanna talk about what’s bothering you?” your eyes shot up to meet his, your head tilted a little to the left as your tongue wet your lip, so puppy like...

You stared incredulously, “I don’t know what you’re talking about Taehyung.” You leant forward slightly as you wrapped your lips around the straw and took a sip.

Taehyung saw the way you sucked your drink up through your straw, his eyes darkened. Thankful to have worn sweatpants that day, he shifted himself discreetly, “I’m not stupid Angel, I know what you’re doing under the table. I’m here, so talk to me. I’ll listen to whatever you gotta say.”

You stuttered as you wracked your brain for something to say, “I-I only met you like forty minutes ago, I don’t even tell my friends what’s wrong. Not that there is, everything’s fine.”

You met me just short of an hour ago, he thought to himself, “You don’t have to lie to me Y/Nie…” he grabbed your hands that were laid near the cup of your Iced Tea. His thumb rubbing circles onto the back of your hand. You looked small and fragile, like the Daffodils on the table; one little pluck and you’d be ruined. He wouldn’t admit it to you just yet but, Taehyung fucking loved how delicate you seemed as you sat across from him.

How easy it would be to take your life away. How easy it’d be to pull those weeds up that are poisoning you, torturing you every single day. He shook his head, as he cleared those thoughts. No, only Y/N can make that decision. I’m just going to help her choose.

Live or Die.

You visibly winced, “You don’t know me. Think whatever the fuck you want about me, it doesn’t matter.” your eyes flashed hurt as you went back to picking your skin. You knew it, this whole encounter was too good to be true. A complete stranger (well acquaintance technically) had just presumed shit about you, the fact he was right is what hurt more. You didn’t want anyone to know how you were feeling. Or how you were dealing with it.

You couldn’t exactly tell him to piss off, you still needed his help home and so you tried to distract yourself from the unsettling gaze that watched your every move. You let out a breath as Taehyung went back to his phone. Your eyes drifted as you picked up the local Newspaper, your eyes skimmed over the headline, ‘Jigsaw Traps Continue’. Taehyung noticed you staring at the front page, and chuckled, “you scared of Jigsaw Angel?”

You shook your head, why would you be scared of some nutjob who’s targeted criminals and drug dealers? You’re a nobody. “Of some psychopathic puppet?” if anyone did anything to you that would threaten your life, it would be you. Taehyung just laughed in return as you skipped the article and skim-read the other pointless stories.

You were fucking clueless as to who he was while he knew every little thing about you. He had watched you for months… His precious little Y/Nie… Oh how silly you were, taking your life for granted.

You hated yourself that much, you were willingly marking yourself up. Tainting your skin… oh your skin, how fucking beautiful and soft it looked, even with all the scars it still looked perfect… Taehyung wanted nothing more than to whisk you away and lock you inside with him. Forever. He didn’t want anyone touching what was his.

He knew you wore a mask when in public, too afraid to show your real self. Little did you know, he wore a mask himself...only he wore it to better other people.

He had a plan.

And you’d soon find out.

Let the games begin.

[shakingsphere]

um i need a distraction so heres a question thing that yall are supposed to send to me but i just answered all of them if ur interested

Alisons: Sexuality?

straight i think

Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender?

she/her cis

Amaryllis: Birthday?

january 30th!

Anemone: Favorite flower?

idk what they’re called but these vine type flowers on the side of my porch!

Angelonia: Favorite t.v. show?

atla

Arum-Lily: What’s the farthest you’d go for a stranger?

depends on the context, definitely nothing where they could take advantage of me

Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes?

i hate quotes i can never remember any lmao

Aubrieta: Favorite drink?

.... diet coke

Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

no

Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love?

maybe? he didnt love me back

Baneberries: Favorite song?

vienna by billy joel

Basket of Gold: Describe your family.

my parents are nice and supportive but overbearing and judgmental. my dad has a tendency to talk when its not his place and my mom is very jewish. my sister doesnt like me very much and is kind of rude. one of my brothers is really nice and the other is awful

Beebalm: Do you have a best friend? Who is it?

I dont

Begonia: Favorite color?

green

Bellflower: Favorite animal?

red panda

Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person?

night

Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be?

a cat

Bloodroots: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

an animator 

Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children?

i love kids theyre so cute

Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why?

heights bc theyre scary, and unachieving because i dont want to waste my life

Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood.

i used to play with ants a lot

Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth?  

like if i was conscious it was my last day? i dont even know

Buttercup: Relationship Status?

single :/

Camelia: If you could visit anywhere, where would you want to go?

central asia and iran

Candytufts: When do you feel most loved?

when im with my friends and we’re just hanging out

Canna: Do you have any tattoos?  

no ma’am i am a child of god

Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings?  

my ear lobes and i want to get my doubles done

California Poppy: Height?  

5′3. it be like that

Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts?

yes!!!!!!!!!!!! omg

Carnation: What are you currently wearing?  

a college sweatshirt and pj pants with penguins on them

Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight?

when i was little....

Chives: Who was the last person you hugged?  

my friend hannah

Chrysanthemum: Who’s the last person you kissed?

i haven’t...

Cock’s Comb: Favorite font?

um lobster?

Columbine: Are you tired?

yeah lol

Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to?

college and moving out of state!!

Coneflower: Dream job?

something where i can use my degree lmao

Crane’s-Bill: Introvert or extrovert?

i think im an introvert but i also might just have anxiety

Crocus: Have you ever been in love?

maybe?

Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about?

i would take a bullet for most of my loved ones

Cyclamen: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? What was it?

yes. a tie-dyed teddy bear named tie-dye. he is my husband.

Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign?

aquarius

Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering?

nothing that people who arent me should remember, but i think our experiences shape us so

Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment?

im not dead idk

Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)?  

um id probably be upset i care about my parents approval way to much

Dendrobium: Who is the last person that you said “I love you” to?

my friend hannah again lol

False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at?

public speaking!!

Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at?

math

Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month?

um i met my future roommate, i lost a bit of weight, and i got some cute shorts

Garden Cosmos: How was your day today?

stressful! 

Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life?

no

Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two?

join my college’s honors program and study in russia

Glory-of-the-Snow: What are ten things that make you happy/you’re grateful to have in your life?

im not doing this one too tired

Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed? 

xanax 

Hellebore: How do you show affection?

i try to tell ppl they are important to me

Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of?

im funny i think

Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day.

i wake up at 9:30 its 70 degrees Fahrenheit and i get lunch with some friends and then we hang out for the day

Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time?  

im so bad about this all i do is watch youtube and study, but i love to draw and im going to start reading more

Hydrangea: How long have you known your best friend? How did you meet them?

Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything?

Laceleaf: How many friends do you have?

Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?

Larkspur: What do you think of yourself?

Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself?  

Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child?

Lily: Who was your best friend when you were a kid?

Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for?

Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about?  

Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name?

pretty sure its french for clear or bright (depending on the context). my mom just liked it

Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it.

im from a suburb of kck. its a nice and safe place to grow up but i wouldnt choose to live here

Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up?

nice, but its in the basement so the view is really bad i hate that

Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years?  

no nope no

Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom.

she is very smart and hardworking but very judgmental and a bit inconsiderate. she loves me very much tho

Onions: Tell about your dad.  

he is short and angry. he tends to interrupt me a lot. he is supportive of everything i do. he is stingy about money tho

Orchid: Tell about your grandparents.

my mother’s mom died before i was born, and my i was never close with her father. he died when i was 8. my other grandma has bad dementia and isn’t sure who i am anymore. shes presbyterian but she would send my sister and i dreidels and such for hanukkah. im told i look a lot like her. my grandfather has been very grumpy for as long as ive known him.   

Pansy: What was your most memorable birthday? What made it be so memorable?

my 13th. i had an anxiety attack and had to go home early.

Peony: What was your first job?

i was a hostess at a seafood restaurant.

Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)? If you’re not in a relationship, how did you meet your crush/how do you hope to meet your future partner(s), if you want any?

Pincushion: How do you deal with pain?

i give myself time to process it and then just move forward i guess

Pink: Where is home?

where your sense of belonging is ig idk

Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would stop/change?

i would have made better grades and quit band in middle school haha 

Prairie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them.

Primrose: Describe your ideal life.

i want to be happy with 2 kids and a husband and live below my means but still be comfortable 

Rhodendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child?

nihil was a philosopher. 

Ricinus: Who’s the most important in your life?

fuck idk my dog

Rose: What’s your favorite sound?

background noise when your sitting outside

Rosemallows: What’s your favorite memory?

Sage: What’s your least favorite memory?

Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want?

for everything to work out!!!  

St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things?

very very hard

Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without?

the internet

Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night?

8 hours but i overslept

Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning?

i have to

Touch-Me-Not: How do you feel about your current job?

i dont have a job rn and thats bad

Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing?

my jeans from uo

Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic.  

cool librarian or 90s mom

Tulip: What would be the best present to get you?

160,000 dollars :)

Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now?

the cost of college!!!!

Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? What were they called?

oof like 2. i read Dune, and Slaughterhouse Five

Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year?

college! finishing up my first semester

Yarrow: Do you know what vore is?

yeah :( 

Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself.

ive been late to ap french almost every day this semester #c’estlavie

[hardyimagines]

Part 4, Final — The Decision

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Can I ask for a request? Alfie had to give up the reader because hes facing a powerful and dangerous enemy but he doesnt tell the reader. She ends up dating tommy (who doesn't know about her past with alfie) and on their wedding day Alfie shows up. Idk what happens next lol but I just would love to read about tension and emotions and alfie just like being vulnerable. Thank you 💜💜💜

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Omg so your new Alfie fic is amazing! I've never requested anything before or made a suggestion but I wanted to suggest that maybe (if you want), can you include a part where the main OC does end up getting hurt and she's possibly pregnant (maybe loses it) with Alfies child and he doesnt know but then he finds out?! Whether she gets hurt bc of Tommy or Alfie it's up to you but I'd like to read that

Word Count: 5.5k ||| Status: completed

Requested by: @fuckitsharam & @stylingco 

Part 1    Part 2      Part 3  

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The sun in the sky shone down brightly on the occupants of the garden. You stood on the porch, hand resting on the skin above your eyebrows as you watched your little girl run throughout the yard. Shielding the bright rays of sun from hitting you directly in the eyes, a small smile graced your lips. It was spring. The air wasn’t exactly hot, but it wasn’t cold either. The hours of daylight increased now and the flowers were beginning to bloom. The trees were growing back their lively leafs, previously shed in the fall and winter. It was beautiful. Your daughter was the most adventurous and lively kid that you’d ever known. “Come on, Ophelia, daddy’s expecting us!” It was her third birthday. The plastic crown that sat atop her messy curly head of hair bobbed lightly but didn’t fall. The little combs on the end were buried in her precious locks, clinging to her securely as she ran around the grass. Her small feet, coated in mud and dirt, clambered up the short steps toward you. “We’re gonna go see daddy?” The child chirped, eyes bright. “Yes, angel, but we need to get some shoes on.”

Your lengthy nails brushed along the soft skin of her forehead, tucking her baby hairs away and beneath the silver tiara. “Come on, then, beautiful.” The door to the house opened with a quiet creak and the two of you piled inside. Cyril lifted his head in question, big brown eyes studying you before you scratched the top of his head and assured him that you and Ophelia would be home soon WITH Alfie. You pinched the puffy pink coat that hung beside the door. Opening it, you moved up behind Ophelia, warm eyes drifting along your little girl as she smoothly slipped her small arms into the arm holes. Settling the fabric on her shoulders, you leaned in and kissed her forehead, careful not to knock off her little diadem. The child wasted absolutely no time before she leaned up on her tiptoes, trying to grip the doorknob. “Hang on, my little angel, we have to get your shoes!” You moved down the hall to retrieve her grey boots, head spinning as you briefly paused. The never-ending worry hit you again. This was the third time today. Alfie had missed Ophelia’s birthday twice now. Her first birthday was spent, just the two of you, curled up in the kitchen as she ate the cake on the center of the table with nothing but her greedy hands. You’d given her a bath and a new toy and then she’d gone to bed. Alfie hadn’t come home until the following morning, apologetic as always. He made a promise to be there for her second birthday, but when you were once again left alone in the empty park, you’d stared down at your little girl. She played carelessly, oblivious to the lack of her father’s presence. He was hardly ever around anyway. You glanced over your shoulder. “Mommy, come on!” The girl pleaded, her little voice whiny and loud. Your shoulders hunched defeatedly. You couldn’t take her to the distillery, not until she was old enough to understand what to touch and what not to touch. Your hands found the bones of your hips, head tipping back as you let out a loud sigh. Alfie would be here. He swore.

Your boots tapped the floor softly as you retrieved her shoes from the closet before you made your way back toward the front door where Ophelia was impatiently waiting. “Daffodil, how about mommy takes you to the little toy store up the road and you can buy anything you want?” You offered, crouching down in front of her as you spoke. Her innocent eyes shone brightly with curiosity before she pursed her lips in thought. “What about daddy? Is he gonna come too?” Your head shook lightly. “I don’t think so, peach, but he’ll be here tonight for cake and ice cream. He promised, didnt he?” Ophelia nodded, lifting her feet one by one so you could slip her white socks on to her feet and then help her into her boots. “There we are.” You smiled widely before rising. The child zipped up her coat before pointing to the door, cheeks tinting red the second you pulled the door open and the icy air kissed her skin. “Hold my hand.” You instructed. She obeyed instantly. Her hand fit snugly in your bigger one, little boots hitting the ground audibly as she skipped alongside you, singing a quiet rhyme. The toy shop wasn’t far, so even if Alfie did decide to come home, which you doubted he would, it would be impossible for you to miss him.

The metal door opened quietly, little bell dinging to alert the women behind the counter that they had customers. The redhead pushed her hair out of her face before greeting you and your daughter. “Hello, are you looking for anything particular?” She inquired, moving around the counter. Her high-heels clicked against the floor audibly, tapping against the tile as she approached the two of you. “Oh, no, it’s my little girl’s birthday,” you pointed out softly. “She’s going to pick out anything she wants.” You told the woman before leading your little girl toward the toys, thanking the woman quietly. Along the shelves, stuffed animals and dolls decorated the walls. There were various types of things for her to play with. “Anything you want, my love.” The bouncy girl ran her small fingers along the soft toys before slowly lifting a little bear. “This looks like daddy.” The girl pointed out, wiggling the toy for you to see. Your arms folded over your chest, smile visible as your lips turned upward. “Daddy’s not that cute.” You smiled lazily before squatting down in front of her. “You’re such an easy girl.” You mumbled before kissing her head, knowing she wouldn’t have picked up the bear if it wasn’t what she wanted. Your small fingers curled around the teddy’s arm before you stood and moved toward the counter to pay.

Alfie was sat in his office, hands folded behind his head as he slumped back against his seat, eyes rolling as Ollie told him of all the issues they’d encountered this week. Yes. For the third time, it had slipped his mind that it was Ophelia’s birthday. He couldn’t help it. The second he came into the distillery, he was bombarded with work. He never had a second to himself anymore. These last three years were hectic, he hardly even got to see you. His large palm slid along the length of his face, tiredly rubbing it down. “Look, mate, yeah, I just want to get this shit fucking settled, right, so I, yeah, can fucking go home before it’s time for the sun to rise.” His eyes were growing heavier overtime. He had gotten little to no sleep this week and what little he had, he couldn’t savor. He missed you. More than he could put into words. The second you and Alfie had been together officially, he’d made you his wife. Life had been more than amazing. He hadn’t pushed you away or kept little secrets from you. Business was important and it was necessary, but you were more important and he shared every little detail of work with you. No more lies and no more splitting up. The man stood as Ollie continued to ramble on. “Right, Ollie, the sun’s come and gone, mate, which means it’s fucking time for bed, innit. My wife’s probably all tucked away, ready to sleep, and my little girl-“ he froze on the spot. The guilt that gripped his heart made him feel faint. “Fuckin’ hell.” The man, angry, strode toward the door to retrieve his coat. He yanked the fabric on his broad body, not bothering to give his right-hand any form of explanation. He set off down the stairs and along the corridor, boots thudding noisily, alerting everyone of his presence. His cane tapped quietly along the ground, a significant contrast to the absolute hollow sound his boots created. Men halted at their work stations, each one assuming something was wrong, but they’d never guessed Alfie was beating himself up because once again, he would miss Ophelia’s birthday.

The cold night air was a whisper against his skin, brushing over his warm flesh, accompanying him on his journey home. He hadn’t picked up a gift for his little girl and at this late hour, he knew that no shop would be open. The man brushed his hair back and out of his face as it messily stuck out in this direction and that. He knew you’d definitely gotten the child a gift and cake, so he could at least pretend like he’d taken some part in that, but he knew you’d be upset with him. The lights on the porch twinkled when the little house came into view. He could see a set of balloons tied around the bannister, a proud annunciation to the neighborhood that your little girl was growing up. Alfie slowed his pace, taking his time to study the exterior of the home before he entered. He knew he was in for a long talking to and he also knew he deserved it. He’d been late. Again. For his babygirl’s birthday. The door opened quietly, but closed a little louder. Alfie drew off his heavy coat before draping it over the back of the sofa. His large hand wiggled between the skin of his neck and the collar of the shirt he wore, loosening it smoothly. On the table in the living room, crumbs from the strawberry cake you’d made stained the surface. There was no sign of life in the room, so he assumed you must’ve had dinner, cake, presents, and were now relaxing somewhere — or sleeping. The ticking clock in the corner grasped the man’s attention and when he gave it a lingering look, he sighed breathily. It was late.

Ophelia was wrapped up beneath her pink blanket. Her hair was braided neatly, draping over her shoulders as she clung on to her daddy bear. The teddy resembled a real life bear, but was as soft and as cuddly as a brown, fake looking stuffed animal. One leg was buried beneath her duvet and the other hung off the edge of the bed, movement-less. She was passed out. Alfie poked his head into the birthday girl’s room, studying her features as she lounged on her flower patterned bed. Her lips were sticky and she had little bits of icing glued to the corners of her mouth. Alfie let a smug smile cross over his lips before you, smoothly and unexpectedly, dipped in front of him and caught him off guard. “Welcome home.” Your hands pressed to his chest. You knew Alfie would go into Ophelia’s room and wake the pretty little girl if you didn’t stop him. He had no recognition of ‘she needed this many hours of sleep’ and the fact that she had a bed time. “She’s just gone to bed, she’s been hyper all night because of the cake.” Your voice was low. A mere whisper. Alfie had to strain his ears to hear what you were saying, but once he had, he straightened defensively before lowering his eyes to the floor so he could eye his boots. “I’m late again.” He sighed before shrinking back and retreating to the living room. You closed Ophelia’s door with a gentle sigh before following after the man. “Yeah.. we noticed.” The man lowered himself down on the sofa, feet kicking up to rest on the coffee table as he rubbed down his face, breaths heavy. He was exhausted and really could’ve gone to sleep right then, but he wasn’t a complete fool. He knew he needed to talk to you. “When I became Mrs. Solomons.. and I left Tommy to be with you.. and I made the decision that I’d trust you’d put me and your daughter before work, was I wrong to do all of that?” Alfie’s hand fell away from his face and instead dropped to the cushion that he was sat on. Picking at the loose strings, the man fixed you with a pained look before standing. “Don’t say stuff like that, Y/N. I’m doing my fucking best here, ain’t I?” You scoffed lowly. “If this is your fucking best, then I’d like to get a divorce. Good god, Alfie, Ophelia hasn’t seen you in days and I’ve hardly seen you! What do you think that does to us?” Alfie’s brows furrowed and his stare hardened. “To you? Right, what do you think it fucking does to me, yeah? I’m missing my little girl grow up, right, and I don’t even get to fucking spend a fucking day with my wife anymore, yeah, it’s fucking killing me too, innit!” Your eyes watered as he spoke, jaw clenching. “Stop shouting or you’ll wake her.” The man sighed heavily, arms folding across his chest stubbornly. He hated being told what to do. “It’s your job, Alfie. You’re the boss. You can leave when you want and don’t lie to me and say you can’t because you use to leave work all the time before the day had hardly even started just so you could be with me.” You lifted your hand to wipe away at the tears that tried to spill from your tired eyes. Alfie sighed heavily, studying your features before he licked his lips and spoke again. “It’s harder now, pet. I’ve got a lot more to do. A lot more things need my attention.” You let out a defeated sigh. Your small hand curled around the blanket on the sofa. “Yeah, well, your wife and daughter need attention as well.” With that, you turned on your heel. Alfie expected to hear your feet, hitting the stairs softly as you went to the bedroom the pair of you shared, but when your footsteps never came, he craned his neck and realized you were going to sleep in the guest room.

An uncomfortable twitch of sadness held his heart. He didn’t know what to do. It wasn’t as if he’d lose his job if he didn’t show up, but he was sure he’d lose his family if he didn’t spend more time with them. His hand scratched the back of his head, nails pushing through his messy hair before he stood and moved toward the phone. Calling Ollie, he pressed his shoulder against the wall, the sole of his boot rubbed absentmindedly against the recently cleaned floor. “Right, lad, I’m not going to be coming in for the week, yeah, I’m needed at home.” His voice was soft, ears ignorant of Ollie’s worried shouts. “You can handle it, lad, yeah. If anything’s too fucking much, you just send whatever it is on over to my fucking house, right. No people, only papers explaining the issue, right, or just fucking call me. I’ll see you- yeah, Ollie, right, I fucking know that, alright, yeah, bye.” Hanging the black phone back on the wall, Alfie pushed his hands through his hair once more before heading toward the guest room. He could only assume Cyril, as usual, was asleep beneath Ophelia’s bed, snoozing away, but ready to wake up in an instant and protect her.

Alfie removed his shoes, laying them on the hard brick beside the fireplace. His eyes slid around the room. He’d contemplated just leaving you be and letting you sleep, but the man had been deprived of you for too long and needed to be held tonight. His bare-feet scuffed softly against the carpet as he made his way toward the room you were in. His shoulders were hunched and there was a little limp in his step. His knuckles hit the door quietly, but he waited for no response before he pushed the door open and entered. “Pet?” Your hot tears stuck to your cheeks and stained the pillow you laid on. You didn’t move from your spot, eyes closed tightly as you desperately tried to hide the fact that you’d been crying. You held your breath, refusing to let your body shake as a silent sob escaped. Alfie, not really caring if you’d already gone to bed, began to pull off his shirt and then rid of his trousers. Your skin had goosebumps already, just from waiting. Waiting for him to climb into bed and embrace you like he always did, no matter how angry or upset you were. His arm looped around your waist, dragging your little body backwards and into his own. The movement elicited a breath from you finally and it was then that he leaned over to peer at your face. The moonlight illuminated your worn features, so broken and hurt. You could tell he was sorry by the way he stared down at you, regret shining visibly in his eyes. “Please don’t cry..” He whispered softly. “I know I’m doing a horrid job at this, but I’ll do better.”

Alfie, in truth, was the best father you’d ever seen. Though he was, a lot of the time, very busy at work, he was his daughter’s best friend. She lit up like a star when he came home, beaming and bright. He spent all night playing with her, doing whatever the hell she wanted until she’d lay on his chest and fall asleep to the sound of his heartbeat. Alfie spoiled her and she was definitely a daddy’s girl. You were more of the disciplinary one, but Alfie always backed you up. “I can’t do this anymore with you, Alfie. I need you at home.” The man nodded softly, lifting his hand so he could brush away the tears that killed him to see. “Right, pet, im taking off a week at work, yeah, see how that goes, and then I’ll see what I can do to be home more, won’t I?” Your head nodded gently before you rolled on to your side and wiggled so he was spooning you. Your hand curled around his much larger one, dragging it around you tightly. He possessed a strength that you were very aware of and sometimes, when he’d really missed you, he’d squeeze the hell out of you while he slept and you’d have to slap his arm to wake him. “Please don’t try and squeeze me to death tonight.” You mumbled sleepily, but a little smile pulled at your lips. Alfie couldn’t help the involuntary breath of amusement that left his lips. Kissing your cheek softly, he nodded. “I’ll do my absolute best to control myself.” Your smile widened. “I love you, Alfie.” You turned your neck, gazing at him with the love and adoration that you held only for him. “I love you too, Y/N.” He mumbled quietly, lips moving to yours for just a few seconds.

When the kiss reached its natural end, neither of you distanced from the other. You instead embraced him, hiding your face in the cool skin of his prickly neck. It didn’t bother you. The little hairs that occasionally stabbed the sensitive skin of your face, they simply made you smile, sometimes playfully wince. Alfie always offered to shave, but you’d always whimper and plead for him not to. He looked so good with his beard and stubble. You couldn’t bear to part with it and you knew he wouldn’t want to either. Your eyes grew heavier and heavier as he held you. It felt so good to actually go to sleep with Alfie opposed to you waking up in his arms, just as he was pulling away to head to work. Within a few minutes, sleep took over and you were out like a light, alongside your husband who was beginning to snore like a grizzly bear. You were so use to it at this point though, the noise brought you comfort. He was here.

——

Ophelia stood at the foot of your bed, hands curled in the ends of the grey duvet as she loosely tugged on the fabric to wake you and her slumbering daddy. The pair of you began to grumble sleepily, refusing to wake instantly. You rolled to the side, burying your face further into the pillow as you tried desperately to cling on to the sleep that was slipping away. The mattress groaned audibly as the little girl lifted herself up and on to the foot of the bed. Her knees sunk into the fabric, small hands balancing on the back of your thigh and Alfie’s knee as she crawled along your bodies. “Please wake up.” She pouted, small fingers curling in the duvet. Your eyes droopily opened at her words, studying her innocent expression. “Alfie.” You mumbled sleepily before nudging him with your cold foot. The ice-like feel of your toes made the man growl. He was awake. He just tried to do the same as you and go back to sleep. His blue eyes slid open, blurry from sleep. Little crusts from his slumber rested in the corners of his eyes, but he smoothly wiped them away before sitting up. “Why are you up so early, little one?” The man’s large arms curled around the beauty before he lowered himself back down, pulling Ophelia with him. The room was quiet opposed to their soft voices, responding to each other smoothly, quietly, afraid to wake you. Though, you hadn’t gone back to sleep. Lifting your head, your messy hair draped over Alfie’s shoulder as you leaned against his back to peer over him and down at the little girl that was laid in front of him. “Its 9 in the morning, daddy, it’s not even early!” The child exclaimed, her long lashes fluttering before she lifted her hand to pull lazily at her father’s beard. “Fucking hell, is it that late already?” He was already sitting up again when you spoke. “Language, Alfie.” You mumbled before rolling toward your baby as Alfie slid off the bed. “Right, come on, let’s not spend our day in bed, let’s go downstairs and have some breakfast.”

You leaned up slightly, the sleeve of your nightgown rolling down and off of your shoulder. You fixed it smoothly, small fingers dragging the lace back up and into its proper position. “All we’ve got is cereal, darling.” You told the man as you followed him out of bed. Ophelia scrambled toward her father and he, with open arms, easily hoisted her up and on to his hips. She clung to him like a baby and you smiled fondly. Initially you’d thought you’d be jealous if you weren’t the favorite parent, but in this case, since Ophelia hardly ever saw Alfie, you couldn’t blame her for being so attached to him. You slipped on your blue slippers before grabbing the yellow robe off of the hook in the corner. The silky fabric wrapped around you snugly, tied in a little bow at the front on your belly. Alfie led the pair of you downstairs and to the kitchen where Cyril was waiting hungrily. A low growl escaped the animals belly and then a quiet whine. The dog food was kept tucked away in a high cabinet because Cyril had a tendency to find the food and dump it out all over the floor, devouring as much of it as he could— to the point where he was left with a bellyache.

Alfie removed three bowls from the cupboard, after feeding the mastiff, each one carefully painted a permanent pink. The pattern on the sides of the bowls was a matching set which was what you’d always wanted and he’d purchased the kitchenware for you for your birthday. His soft eyes flickered to you as you began to fill each bowl to the brim with whatever oats were in the last cereal box. Alfie didn’t like milk on his cereal. He preferred to just eat it with his fingers like a cookie. You loved to bathe your food in milk, bowl nearly overflowing from how much contents were jam-packed in the round glass. Ophelia liked only a little milk, not a drop or two, but maybe the size of two shot glasses. The milk didn’t even fill half of the bowl, but at least she liked to have a little bit. The little girl was knelt up on her chair, hunched over the table as she watched you finish up with the milk. Alfie slid her bowl toward her before offering her a little wooden spoon. She took it gratefully, beaming up at her father before she eagerly began to dig into the breakfast. You ate much slower, though you hated how soggy your meal ended up being, you couldn’t help it. You didn’t want to make yourself sick from eating to quickly. Your eyes moved to Alfie. He had no patience. His beard was crumb infested within seconds, but he’d use his palm to try and wipe away the messy food. It really wasn’t the food that was messy, it was just Alfie.

Breakfast went by peacefully and you told yourself silently that if had there been another little baby, situated beside Ophelia, things would not be running as smoothly. Luckily, you looked down at your belly, it was as empty as ever. For now. Your eyes lifted to Alfie. Maybe one day, when things weren’t so chaotic and you had time to actually sleep with your husband, then you could discuss having another baby. You stood, gathering the empty dishes so you could clean each one. Ophelia looked to her father, watching as the man lifted his glasses on to his face and began to read over the little notes on the table. Mental reminders he was writing down so he knew what needed to be taken care of when he returned back to work. “Daddy?” Ophelia spoke softly. The large man, furrowed brows and hardened stare, lifted his eyes to his little girl, features instantly softening now that he was focused on her opposed to work. The little girl pushed her fringe out of her eyes before inhaling deeply. “Are you gonna be home more?” She asked quietly. Her big green eyes were wide and the hope that danced vibrantly in them was hard to miss. “Yes, Love, as much as I fu- can be, yeah? I miss you too much when I’m away at work, don’t I?” Ophelia cracked a slow smile before leaping down off of her seat and moving around the wooden table so she could instead perch herself up on Alfie’s lap. The man held her close, absentmindedly pushing her hair out of her face as she stared up at him. She was the spitting image of you.

The cloth on the counter was used to dry off your hands after you’d tucked each dish away. Turning on your heel, you dropped down beside the two of them, eyes shimmering as they moved between your handsome husband and darling girl. “Yes, Daddy is going to be around a lot more often. I’m going to make sure of it.” Alfie’s eyes slipped to you when you spoke, a slow smirk pulling at his full lips. “We’ll see.” He whispered teasingly before leaning back in his chair. “We will see.” He muttered again, arms tightening lightly around his angel.

—

The remainder of the day was spent lounging in the living room. Your bare feet slid along the carpet as you danced goofily for your family. The laughter that echoed around the room was joy to your ears. Ophelia was having the most amazing time and you were grateful. Just having Alfie here seemed to brighten her mood significantly. Alfie didn’t partake in the silly dancing, he simply lounged on the sofa, chuckling loudly as your body twisted and turned and your daughter’s tried to follow. He could’ve been at work, head buried in his hands as the weight of work resided on his shoulders, but he’d much rather be here, watching you make an absolute fool of yourself.

You were his fool.

Wednesday was spent lounging in the sun in the backyard. Ophelia had an addiction to the outdoors, always happiest when her sun-kissed skin was darkening beneath the rays. She’d chase the butterflies and play in the water that sprayed from the hose. She was muddy and soaked, but beaming. You’d spent the entirety of the day, laying on Alfie’s chest as the two of you watched over Ophelia protectively. Alfie refused to ever take his eyes away from her, even when you’d leaned in for a little kiss. He couldn’t risk it. Children were taken in the blink of an eye and he’d be damned if he ever let anything happen to his child. She was entirely too good for this world. And entirely too good from him. He knew that.

Thursday was the quickest day. Alfie had taken Ophelia to the park so she could play for a few hours and although they had begged you to come along, you just weren’t feeling too great. Your small hand pushed through your hair, continuing to clean the constantly filthy house. It didn’t bother you, letting them go out for some father, daughter time. No. They deserved it. Alfie, you knew, would push Ophelia on the swings, keeping a close eye on anybody who dared play to close. He didn’t care if it was a child, he didn’t let anybody approach his angel. You tried to explain to him that social interaction was good for her. It was good for her to talk to her peers at such a young age, but he wasn’t having any of it. “She can talk to them when she’s not living under my roof.” He’d dramatically told you that night. You’d scoffed at his words and had easily pushed them to the back of your mind. That wasn’t rational thinking.

On the weekends, Ophelia had a little group called ‘The Little Ducklings’ that she attended. The class helped teach children about growing up. It was basically a daycare, but it didn’t have the ridiculous prices nor did it have teachers who only cared about the money. These women were taking amazing care of your little Ophelia. She babbled all evening when she returned home about everything she’d learned. That being said, while Ophelia was away, learning her abc’s, colors, and numbers, you were learning too, trapped beneath your husband, bodies joined in the most physical and passionate way possible as he taught you some of the ‘new moves’ he’d been daydreaming about. He left you breathless and writhing for more. The passion in this relationship was never-ending. The man seemed to have no off switch. He was always ready for you. And you’d be lying if you said you weren’t always ready for him.

The week came and went entirely too fast. One minute you’re extremely grateful that Alfie had made the wise decision to stay home from work and spend time with his family, but the next thing you knew, the calendar read Monday again and it was time to bid the man goodbye. His warm lips pressed to yours, hands gliding along your arms before he cradled your hands in his own. “Things will change, pet, yeah, I fucking promise you that, I can’t fucking stand, right, being away from you for so long. I’ll handle everything today, right, I fucking will.” He’d given you several kisses that day before he’d left and then he’d given ophelia double. You couldn’t admit to anyone but yourself that you were jealous your daughter had received more kisses than you, but the thought still made you smile. You wouldn’t trade anything in the world for your family. They were one of a kind. The light in the fireplace was beginning to die that evening, it’s orange embers fading as the light began to give out. Ophelia was fast asleep on your chest, mouth partially opened and eyes heavy as she nuzzled into you. Alfie would be home soon, you were sure of it. He would keep his word and things would get better from here. After-all, you had married one of the most amazing men in the world. Your head rolled back, eyes meeting the ceiling. Alfie Solomons would keep his word and he would be home every night before it was too late. Your eyes flickered to your wedding ring. No matter how many fights or how many disagreements the two of you had, Alfie was your forever and you’d never be without him. Your eyes moved to Ophelia. And neither would she.

—————————————————————

Part 1   Part 2     Part 3  

Tagged: @thatsamegirl @peakyhoegh @ihclipse @callisen @hardygal69 @centerhabit @favouritereadings @goodiesintheclosetlove @buckypetal15 @kitcatimpala67 @captstefanbrandt @meer0rauschen @crldrr

[astudyinfic]

Flufftober Day 2 - Flowers

Originally posted on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16154378/chapters/37774922

“About Alec, is he more of a flower or cologne man?”

Magnus never did get an answer to that particular question.  Isabelle laughed and grinned but didn't say anything. Of course, later on, Magnus learned that Alec was still very much in the closet and even if he had a preference, no one would have known it.  

Well, Izzy probably did but she protected her brother more fiercely than she protected herself.  

Their relationship blossomed and grew and it seemed like in no time at all, Magnus and Alec were happily married, living their immortal lives in domestic bliss.  

And Magnus still didn't have an answer to his question.

It wasn't like he didn't shower Alec with presents.  He had more money than he would ever need and he could get anything he wanted with a snap of his fingers.  Why wouldn't he spoil the love of his life whenever he could? Dinners out trips around the world, clothes, books, music.  All the things Magnus knew Alec liked, even if he demurred every time Magnus tried to give him something.

But he'd never tried flowers.  

He knew Alec loved his sandalwood shampoo and made some for him. Cologne would just mask that lovely scent and a territorial part of Magnus's mind hated that idea.  He wanted Alec to smell like him, even if it meant nothing to anyone else.

Flowers, though.  He wondered how Alec would react.

It was definitely something worth considering.

He started small.  A few rose petals scattered on the bed.  Alec paused for a moment before grinning and throwing Magnus down on top of them.  So, a good reaction but not really what he had been hoping for.

Not that he was complaining about what he got mind you.

Next was a single red rose on their way to dinner one night.  "For you, darling," Magnus said as he handed it over.

This time, Alec was more baffled than anything else.  "Why?"

"Because a red rose is symbolic of love and that's how I'm feeling right now.  How I always feel when I am with you." Magnus hadn't meant to make some grand speech but the words flowed as soon as Alec asked the question.  His husband smiled and kissed him and kept the rose close for the rest of the night, so Magnus thought he might be onto something. Though, maybe it was his words that Alec reacted to more than the rose itself?

He would need to study further.

While Alec had already taken on the mantle of immortality by the time they were married, Magnus felt grateful for it every day.  When a mundane he'd known for years passed away, Magnus's heart broke for another friend lost to the one place he couldn't follow.  And in his melancholy, a thought hit him. He would never lose Alexander. His Alec would always be there, a constant in the ever-changing world they lived in.  

Overcome with his gratitude and love, Magnus sent a dozen daffodils to Alec's office, one of two places his magic could access within the Institute without him being right there.  When he got the amused call a few minutes later, Magnus should have realized an accompanying note would have gone a long way.

"Babe, is there a reason there's a pile of yellow flowers on my desk?" Alec's laughing voice carried over the phone and Magnus smiled for the first time since he heard the news.  

He shook his head, despite Alec not being able to see him do it.  "I was thinking about forever and how that is what we have now. Daffodils represent eternal life so, I sort of sent them without thinking about it."

"Is everything okay?"  Alec's concern was always first and foremost for Magnus and he didn't know if he would ever get used to it.  

He chuckled sadly.  "Yes, Alexander. I mean, not entirely but it has nothing to do with the two of us.  A friend passed away this morning and perhaps I am a little maudlin today."

"Do you need me to come home?"

"No, darling.  I'll be fine. Would you mind staying in tonight, though?  I'm not feeling much like going out."

Alec easily agreed to that and when they hung up, Magnus already felt better.  When his husband got home that night, daffodils in hand, he placed the flowers where they could be seen from most of the living area.  "I want to be able to see them and think about forever with you." Alec pulled Magnus into an embrace on the couch where they spent the evening, Magnus telling Alec about the friend he’d lost.  

Magnus felt certain, after that night, that Alec was indeed a "flower man".

For the next several weeks, Magnus brought flowers to Alec when he got home from work late.  He had flowers delivered to the Institute, much to the confusion of the poor mundane delivery man.  He decorated their home in flowers and even wore one on his lapel for a date in Prague. Magnus never explained why he was showering the love of his life in flowers, and Alec never questioned it, just grinned that bemused smile he had whenever Magnus did something he didn’t understand.

Alec’s smile was reward enough so Magnus continued to shower him with blossoms every chance he got.  It wasn’t long before Magnus was sending calla lilies to Isabelle, gladiolus to Jace, yellow tulips to Clary.  When Raphael and Simon celebrated their one year anniversary, Magnus sent them a potted jasmine plant, one that would bloom at night for them both to appreciate. It became a thing for him and Magnus hardly even thought about it.  

Months later, when everyone became used to Magnus’s new little quirk, Magnus was surprised when he returned home to find a bouquet of sunflowers lying on the table in the living room.  Picking up the massive blossoms, he admired their beauty while wondering where they came from. They weren’t something he conjured so who brought them?

“Oh, you’re home early,” Alec said, smiling as he stepped into the room with a glass of wine in each hand.  “And you found your flowers.”

“My flowers?” Magnus asked, staring at the flowers once more.

Alec set the wine down and stepped closer, pressing a kiss to his lips.  “Yes, for you. You seem to really love flowers these days so I thought you might like some of your own.”  Yet again, his beautiful love managed to surprise him and take his breath away.

Finding his mental balance a moment later, Magnus asked, “But why sunflowers?” only to be greeted with that blush he seemed to always elicit in Alec.

“Because you are the brightest part of my day.  And because they mean adoration and longevity. And I will adore you forever, so that seemed appropriate.  Plus, look at them. You have to smile when you look at sunflowers, and I wanted to make you smile.”

Magnus set the flowers beside the wine in order to pull Alec into a kiss.  “Darling, you make me smile every single day, with flowers or without,” he assured him when they broke apart.  “But I love them, thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”  Alec smiled that cheeky grin he only got around Magnus and something settled deep in his chest as he realized he had his answer.  

Alec was most certainly a flower man.

[aestheticvoyage2019]

Day 116: Friday April 26, 2019 - “Fishingmen”

Did not have much of a care in the world this day - not even a worry about catching a fish or not.  Woke in the crisp fresh air of Greer, AZ with one job to do - find my compadres down a forest road, up the East Fork of the Little Colorado.  Just three dudes with a whole day ahead; for retired, honest, Tom it was just another day in the office, and for Zach it was a day to share this special place from his childhood with us and for me, I was jsut happy and grateful to be there, my toes in my waders instead of my nose in a computer.  Good. Fucking. Vibes.

I think more important than catching fish today, was learning that these places exist up here in the White Mountains in eastern Arizona.  You could have tricked me that somehow Id driven all the way up into Colorado or Wyoming, especially as far out of the way I went last night - we were a long way from that red-dirt-rich canyon we’d all had shared just a week ago in Havasu.   Here, the high elevation didnt hide the rolling hills, the crisp pines (both living and dead), and the thin air.  This is Arizona?!  Its been a few years since I actively fished, and Tom had to remind me how to tie a knot, a skill I didnt have to do once today!  Thats how hard we hit it!  A long way from those Salmon runs in WA where I was fishing every other weekend.   I envisioned myself, stepping it back up again as I looked across the creek at my road-pop Tom all geared out, complete with net that was only lightly used today.  Being a fisherman is something Ive long admitted, like golf, I dont have the patience or grace for.  But maybe!   While Zach and I ran back to Lazy Trout to get our one day license, Tom had secured some photographic proof that we were actually fishing today, with two quick trout...but thatd be it for all of us.  

Admittedly, we didnt try all that hard.  By 1130, and a rushing creek moving to fast, we agreed to break for lunch, and found it in town at the Rendezvous Cafe where I enjoyed the Cod and Soup special along with Green Bean Fries.   I figured the chances of me eating a fish today were low, if I counted only on myself, and so took Ricardo up on the offer to bring me some battered Cod.  After lunch, Tom and I tried to take one of the reservoirs for some lake fishing, trying the power bait over the night crawlers.  We led each other all the way around that lake, and down a lava rocked slope, and through some marshy bogs, to get a couple casts in and quickly give up.  Even the corn TP brought wouldnt do the trick today.  We were snake bit.  I felt a little bad that the Apache Trout had eluded my buddy, but grinned in knowing that would mean he’d have to come back and try again in a few months.  The fish aint going anywhere, obviously.

We tried our hands in the creek a few more times.  Admittedly I used most of this time to nap on the bank until it got to hot in my rubber pants.  I had no beautiful fish to take a picture of and so the daffodils would do.  Spring in the mountains.  We chatted up Tom before he hit the road and said goodbye  - as we hugged, I thought about where and how I might cross his road again, as the full timer rambles from here back to PA.  As he drove off, Zach and I both commented on how he’s a stand out character and how we can both hope to have that kind of energy when we’re in our 60s; we’re not even at halftime yet!  

As a good Friday off work turned to Friday night, Zach and I rolled to Molly Butlers Lodge in town to find some bourbon and burgers.  Enjoyed each other’s company, out on the balcony of our cabin, until 2am sharing stories and philosophies.  I really relate to this good man and loved hearing about and seeing his pictures of hiking in the Sierras.  We first connected over a hike at Aravaipa and as we puffed a cigar together talking about cool places, I realized that as years go by, we’ll probably hit some of those together and I liked the idea of that. 

Would it have made it a better day had I felt the thrill of setting a hook on a trout?  Maybe.Maybe.  Setting that dance in my waders, or tasting that fresh flesh of a fish I caught, is pretty memorable.  But when we tell of the time, it wouldnt be about the fish as much as the fishing men.  I got a sticker to throw on my Yeti, declaring without agenda, Id rather be in the White Mountains, knee deep in a mountain creek.

Song: Luke Bryan - Huntin, Fishin, Lovin Everyday.

Quote: “And so I learned what solitude really was. It was raw material - awesome, malleable, older than men or worlds or water. And it was merciless - for it let a man become precisely what he alone made of himself.” ― David James Duncan, The River Why

[terramythos]

My reread commentary on October Daye #8, "The Winter Long" or "more shit goes down in this book than the first 7 combined, holy shit".

I apologize to anyone who reads these cause I literally hit the length limit on this post and had to pare it down lmao 

-Good start: Under the Acknowledgements section: "Everything I have done with October's world to this point has been for the sake of getting here". Sooo basically the first 7 books? Setup for this one. We're in for a Ride.

I want to emphasize some of the best meta foreshadowing I've seen:

FOR REFERENCE, Rosemary and Rue is the title of book 1. It's also the only book whose opening Shakespeare quote (from Hamlet) doesn't really match the title. If you know your Shakespeare, you probably would have caught that and figured out that it was from The Winter's Tale instead. Plenty of conclusions you can draw just from that. Since then the series has been chock full of hidden identities, and this book has two BIG ones coming into play. Foreshadowing was here from the very fucking beginning, and it is some next level shit. Very well done.

-If you skipped book 1 you are SO fucked, btw.

- we're going to great lengths to describe Sylvester's physical appearance. Gee I wonder why. I'm sure it's not relevant

- yes Sylvester has FOX COLORED HAIR and YELLOW EYES and his magic smells like DAFFODILS and DOGWOOD FLOWERS. He is Toby's LEIGE and FATHER FIGURE.

Me on a first read: oh it's just beginning book exposition, they all do this

Me on a second read: god fucking damn it

- toby: I should have known Sylvester would never disappoint me.

Me: oh sweetie. Oh honey.

- "He smelled like smoke and rotten oranges.

This man wasn't Sylvester Torquill."

Anyone who read book 1: OHSHIT.AVI

Welcome back, Simon! You know, Sylvester's evil twin? You know, the big bad (so far) of the series? The the one responsible for turning Toby into a fish for 14 years?

-Yet he seems kinda... off, huh? Comments about how he didnt know the spell would last 14 years, how he hates to upset October's mom, of all people? Whatever could he mean? :)))

-New toby power: spell reflection? Hell yeah? Also spell BREAKING, but to be fair she did do that one other time. In, you guessed it, book 1.

- "When I tried to picture Sylvester's face, I kept seeing Simon's instead" ow oof

- Simon calling Amandine "Amy", which we've established is an affectionate nickname (it being what, you know, THE LUIDAEG calls her). Why would Simon, of all people, call her that?

... oh.

-That sure explains a LOT, huh? That sure was set up... this whole time, huh?

-Little "fuck you" lines like "I didn't know Sylvester had a niece" in book 2. Talking about January. Well, uh, he has several actually! You're one of them!

-Explanation for why Sylvester had any inclination to be October's mentor... eventually becoming her liege and father figure... even giving her the Changeling's Choice (something family is supposed to do). It seems mighty convenient that a random noble was involved in the life of a changeling to such an extent. BUT, if he was her uncle, and knew his brother wouldn't step up? Well...

-This isn't even the biggest reveal of the book. Like, we're only a handful of chapters in and this bomb gets dropped.

-Sylvester, every 10 minutes: oh boy I cant wait to see my brother so I can like, completely eviscerate him!

Everyone else: uh,

- Tybalt: and here I thought I was going to have to ask Sylvester for his blessing. Now I technically have to ask SIMON?

Toby: uwotm8

Tybalt: oh god uhh I'm joking yeah uhh I'm just trying to distract you from all this stress :)) yeah (nailed it!)!

-And now we begin the "wow Sylvester is actually not a great person" slide. It's been hinted at that he's pretty unstable and has shitty priorities regarding people he cares about. But Toby glossed over a lot of it because she adored him. Welp.

- It's also an interesting aside that Etienne was kind of a dick to Toby for a reason in the earlier books. He legit thought she had been knighted because she was family, not that she had earned the post. And after the last few books he clearly knows now that that's not the case and they've actually become friends. That's interesting hidden character development.

- ok so The Gang finds out that Simon was telling the truth when he said turning Toby into a fish for 14 years was to save her. Because he had actually been hired to KILL her and didn't want to do it. So it was a loophole-- everyone thought she was dead, and then (as established in book 1) pretty much everyone forgot she existed until the spell broke.

-BUT Simon is bound by a geas (where have we seen that before) and cannot divulge his employer's name. But who had such a grudge against Toby and/or her mom to order a hit on her AND forcibly bind everyone to secrecy?

-who knows? Not toby. So they go to The Luidaeg to maybe get a lead, and she establishes right away that she is ALSO bound under a geas and can't say who did it. So we play some 20 questions, and then...

ULTRA DISTRESSING LUIDAEG LORE :((((

-additional: another month name just came into play. August. Toby's half sister, missing for a century. WHAT IS WITH THE MONTH NAMES

- "please don't mistake villainy for evil." That's an.. interesting quote re:Simon.

- Simon's way of protecting toby from the impending threat is "well maybe you turn into a tree for a few centuries but like. You're safe, right? Why are you mad?"

- The Luidaeg: *is straight up dead*

Toby: hey tybalt remember that time in book 2 when I Resurrected the Dead

Tybalt: yeah, it was fucking terrifying and I didnt speak to you for 6 months

Toby: *finger guns* guess whaaaaaat

-The Luidaeg: *says just. A bunch of Lore*

Toby: Luidaeg dont you dare drop that cryptic shit on me then pass out

Luidaeg: nap time

-"If you so much as whisper the first word of a transformation spell, I'll have your larynx in my hand before the second word can form." DAMN, Tybalt.

-Simon: I am VERY sorry for my bullshit earlier. I can't tell you who my employer is, but I CAN give you this BOUQUET of ICE COLD ROSES. Ice cold, like winter. Winter Roses, if you will. Yeah. Uh have a nice life, bye!

Everyone: well this sure is a mystery

-Simon is definitely a morally grey character. Has done really awful shit, is built up as a major villain... but turns out he had relatively little control over his actions. He does the wrong thing a lot but it's usually not for a truly evil end? If the context is to be believed he got stuck in the geas contract with Unnamed Employer to save his daughter, which explains the bad shit he did that we know of. Which then inadvertently kicked off like the whole series. He seems to genuinely care about Toby in a warped way? It would be so easy to write him off as an evil stepdad or whatever and there's plenty of canon to support that stance (she's an illegitimate CHANGELING child) but he seems like he wants to just be her dad. I hope we explore his character more, is what I'm saying.

-And not to keep rambling about it but Toby is an established unreliable narrator and a horrible (initial) judge of character. So it's not like this is an asspull or off base at all.

Twist of the fucking century here.

-You know... the character who set off the events of the series? The character who was murdered in book 1 and bound October to a geas forcing her to find the culprit or die? Evening fucking Winterrose?

-There were hints, most very subtle unlike the other big twists, but probably the biggest one is SHE NEVER SHOWS UP AS A NIGHT HAUNT. And they're in the story quite a bit, and they ALWAYS feature killed off characters. Except Evening.

-My favorite hints were the ones just piled in book 1. Comments like "no one knows who Evening really is" said with zero self awareness. Because we are actually about to find out who she is... 7 goddamn books later.

-dead meme but "surprise, bitch. Bet you thought you saw the last of me."

-God she's so awful lol

-Toby thinking Quentin died then calling him THE SON SHE NEVER HAD is a BIG OOF right to the HEART. ;-;

-The book also points out that The Luidaeg through the series has ALWAYS referred to Evening in present tense. Even though she "died" in book 1.

-The Luidaeg ALSO never refers to her as Evening. It's always "The Winterrose". You know, a title. Which we have heavily emphasized is something the Firstborn use in place of their true names.

*jazz hands* Surprise!

-We also (finally) have a canon explanation for the... rather remarkable coincidence that Quentin, the fucking Crown Prince (from TORONTO), is in San Francisco at all. It was always weird he got sent to Shadowed Hills, and it's been commented on multiple times... Evening arranged it, of course! For reasons we don't quite know. But as the Daoine Sidhe Firstborn, her descendants couldn't exactly say no. Even though they didn't know who she really was.

-We really are falling all over Firstborn in this series? It sure is.. an odd coincidence, huh?

We got:

The Luidaeg: Roane/Selkie

Amandine: Dochas Sidhe

Acacia: Blodynbryd

Evening: Daoine Sidhe

Blind Michael: ... uh actually I don't think we ever learn what race he's Firstborn of. All his "children" are kidnapping victims forcibly twisted into monsters. Well, except for Luna, but we only know the Blodynbryd side.

But it's weird that for being so rare that we've run into 5 of them in 8 books. There's gotta be a reason for it.. but what?

-Luna starts the series as Toby's Surrogate Mom and is now just straight up an enemy huh

-I made this observation in my book 1 notes, but I find it very interesting that all of Toby's initial friends and allies... aren't by this point. Whereas her current allies are either former enemies or people she initially disliked or distrusted.

Starter allies: Sylvester? Was lying to her the whole time. Luna? Pretty much tried to sacrifice her (+above). Evening? Uhh this whole damn book. Devin? Tried to kill her for personal gain. Lily/Connor? Both killed off for real.

Current allies: Tybalt? Literal former enemy turned lover. Quentin? Kind of a snotty, vaguely racist kid she whips into shape. The Luidaeg? Extremely powerful witch who Toby assumes is True Neutral and wouldn't hesitate to kill her. May? Literal personal walking death omen.

It's just a cool reversal. There's so much really excellent character development in this series and I love it.

-Simon still is a pretty major bastard but.. less outright mustache twirling evil than we were led to believe up to this book. You learn his Backstory and while it really doesn't justify his actions it does...explain them.

-Blink and you miss it Lore: August is missing because she entered a contract with the Luidaeg. She's holding the candle from book 3 :)))

I'm starting to realize I stan The Luidaeg so hard I just have to take a picture every time she shows up and does stuff lmfao. (Best character).

-But... nothing like your inconceivably ancient and powerful aunt suddenly owing you a life debt, I guess???

-Toby. You know, just an ordinary weak changeling who has somehow managed to KILL A FIRSTBORN and RAISE THE DEAD. yikes.

I'm just putting this here cause it's funny as shit. Tybalt really is just... a cat

This book: I heard you like distressing Luidaeg lore??

Me: oh thanks I don't need to feel things

-God Evening is awful. Like, if you didn't know that already, see above.

-It says something about The Luidaeg that despite all that shit their Firstborn did to her she ends up becoming such good friends with Quentin, a Daoine Sidhe?

-BIG LORE with The Luidaeg talking to Maeve??? And Maeve "responding" kind of? This series damn well better explore what the fuck happened to those three it's been built up all series

-Omg the showdown with Evening and The Luidaeg. And Toby managing to break free and realize she deserves so much more than Evening-- all without magic. And Simon showing up for a last minute redemption trying to hit Evening with elf shot? I mean he gets shot in the process, but...

-We now have like, 3 or 4 characters just... asleep indefinitely thanks to elf shot. that's gonna be a Thing isnt it. Rayseline, Evening, Simon, Arden's brother...

WE DID IT BOYS

-This is the last full one I've already read. Most of my reactions in 9-12 are gonna be new. So.

[frozs]

I was laughing so hard when I seen this framed picture XD anyway, here's and idea that I want to use for my drawings but you can also implement it in your Australian AU - Sasori being a huge fan of gossips, like he's starting his day from reading all hot news about celebrities, sitting in Starbucks (ordering only water) and browsing gossipy websites or reading those awful cheap magazines. hiring private detective to snap some embarassing photos of someone and blackmail him? done that.

Sasori blackmails Sai because Sai gets Inojin to create artwork instead of him for the shop

Sasori, as usual, was the first to go into the coffee shop after a long night of removing delicate organs from a recently deceased ugly looking cat. He looked distastefully at the art on the walls - splashes of colour pen and ink dragons on hand made papyrus.

“What do you think?”

Snapping out of his gaze, Sasori’s eyes met Sai, who was the barista of Yamanaka Flowers. He got out the glass of water which Sasori only ever ordered (Ever since Sai used cow’s milk instead of almond milk in his Ristretto, Sasori refrained from wishing to turn Sai into a puppet and ordered water from then on), out waiting for him to take.

“It must have taken you thirty seconds to do all of these,” said Sasori dully. “True art is the work of someone who takes a long time to create their art.”

Sai’s stupid smile came back, which pretty much meant he had no idea what the fuck Sasori just said. Sasori looked at the price tags - something him and Deidara always did when they went to gallery shows - and he was asking for $500 a piece. He sat down in the corner surrounded by lilies and daffodils, and got out the newest edition of New Idea, which Ino had put down before she rushed off to work.

Sasori had a very strange way of reading. He didn’t seem to read left to right and take in pictures like other people did. He simply just stared at the page, drinking it all in from different angles. His phone pinged, and his eyes flickered to the screen. 5 Facebook messages from Deidara, and 2 from Hidan.

Oi stupid fucking housemate burnt the unit down

Cause hes a cunt

Sasori fuck

I didnt mean to sorry

The kiln exploded and i got my fireworks out in time but the backyards gone and most of the house yeah

Your possessions are still like kinda there idk

COME HOME SASORI PLEASE WE NEED TO SPEAK TO YOU YEAH

“Do you want another water, sir?”

Sai and Ino’s young son, Inojin, who must have only be in Kindergarten, had taken a large bottle of freezing water over to Sasori’s little corner. Inojin was dressed in little purple overalls, and had coloured paint stained to his fingers.

Sasori took the water without saying thank you, and refilled his water right up to the top, where it spilled over slightly. Inojin couldn’t quite figure out why Sasori had done that, but it was because Sasori was fucking weird. At the back of the magazine was a Real Life! Section page. Each person to write a real story about something that has happened to them. These included segments such as I fucked Santa Claus! And My Life as an Otherkin: I’m actually a dingo.

However in the small section of this page, someone had circled something in sharpie, and he looked carefully. It was an image of Sai and Ino in the magazine, with the title My artworks makes more money than my actual job!

In some art careers that is true, Sasori thought, and decided to actually read the article instead of drinking in the information on the page. Inojin appeared with a napkin which Sai gave him to clean up the water mess on the coffee table. In the article were the same paintings that were on the wall, and most of them had red dots on them, marking them as sold.

But Sasori could feel something was wrong. Impatience bubbled up in him, as something was not quite right. He had been coming to Yamanaka Flowers for years, as it was on the way home from the art studios. Sai only ever drew in black indian ink, using calligraphy brushes to create Japanese inspired creations of tigers and dragons which were influenced by his heritage. Sasori looked down at Inojin’s little fingers, paint stained with bright children’s paints such as lemon yellow and apple green. He finished mopping up and he smiled at Sasori.

“Please enjoy your water! I will get you more.”

“Wait,” said Sasori, eyes flicking to Sai who had just finished making several coffees to takeaway for tired looking businessmen. Sai smiled.

“Do you like our little article?”

“No,” said Sasori, looking away to pour even more water in the glass, and this time it overflowed to the point where the water started to drip on the wooden floor. “But I’ll be telling everyone what nice work Inojin has put on display. Good luck trying to wriggle out of that. Now excuse me, I have to go and get my possessions out of my place, which is currently on fire.”

And that was the last time Sasori ever went to Yamanaka Flowers, so he biked off, leaving Sai and Inojin totally bewildered with his actions.

[tumblunni]

I wish I could hug y'all!

In fact I think I will make it A LIFE GOAL I really really wanna someday be able to visit all my friends who live in different countries! Its something good to save up for, even if it'll probably take years. So.. lets randomly ramble in a journal about Plans!! IDEA THE FIRST TRIP THE FIRST FIRST THE FIRST: THE SEQUEL I think it'd probably make sense to go to america first, since i have a lot of close friends living there and I don't need to learn another language. (I am notoriously dumb...) But then afterwards I could set another goal to save up and visit another friend in another country! IT WILL NEVER ENDDDDD, THATS WHY ITS CALLED FRIENNNNDDDDD So far all I have confirmed is that two of my friends would be happy to see me if I was able to visit america, @darkeiya and @summon-daze But its not like I've exactly asked everyone else, so I dunno really how many people I might be able to visit. And it depends on time constraints too, i might only be able to spend a full day or two with the closest friends and maybe then if there's more than three of us we could all meet up together and hang out en masse? Depends on how tricky it'd be for everyone to get to the same place! SO! PLANS AND THINGS I NEED TO PREPARE! workin to figure out a precise money goal im gonna save for * Become Fab * no but srsly i wanna look my best if im meeting friends in person for the first ever time. need to acquire Cool T-Shirts * figure out what exactly you can and cannot take on an aeroplane, and how to deal with anxiety if i cant take electronics. Nothing's as distracting as videogames when you're freakin out! * DO NOT SCHEDULE ANYTHING ON THE 11th-14th OF THE MONTH. i have a bad history of my period landing on these days ONLY when i have to do something important. Or when its my birthday :P I dont need even more reason to feel nauseous on a plane! * figure out how many days the stay will be, and how many clothes etc I need to bring. probably a basic thing, but this is my first time going on a holiday alone so i need to write stuff down to make sure i remember! * figure out how long exactly I want to spend with each friend, and how long I can afford in hotel fees. And does a plane ticket cos more if you're staying for longer? * find out what kind of luggages are easiest to carry and how to carry three luggages when i have two hands. Can you tie them together and make a luggages train??? * Find some sort of secure way to carry large amounts of money. I'm gonna have to do that since I need to get all my currency converted before I go. I was thinking maybe a little matchbox tin chained to the inside of my coat or around my neck? Something where you couldnt get it without roughhousing with me, and it'd still be hard to pull it off the chain. Gives me a precious few extra minutes to yell for help/possibly bludgeon a guy with a suitcase * Figure out hotel(s) in different areas of america, depending on how far I'll have to travel. And figure out affordable ways to travel the difference if its not a situation where the friend can pick me up. And make sure they are cool hotels, not just the absolute minimum! i wanna make a fun tourist experience of the hotels!! I havent been in a hotel since I was a kid! * Possibly schedule it like a 'safehouse' thing? Returning to home base! I need to make sure I schedule around the potential anxiety of doing so much travel in a new place. So maybe schedule it out so I have a period of me-time in between visiting each friend? Itd probably cost too much to rent a hotel room for an entire day in between so maybe just schedule it out so I have half a day at least. I dunno if hotels allow you to sleep in all day tho, are there rules about what time you need to be up and out? * I'm kinda looking forward to using hotel beds and showers cos theyre like luxury compared to my house XD man, I wonder if I could get a place with a hot tub?? or the fabled mini-bar?? (which i would drink nothing of, but it would be fun to take photos!) And it'd be so cool to see what american breakfasts are like! And lol all my friends have just been like 'YOU NEED TO SEE OUR LOCAL RESTAURANTS' and im like... dude, i dont need to get fatter XD lets limit it to ONE! * I dunno if my friends would just wanna hang out in their local mall or something, or if I could visit their house and say hi to their family? that might be going too far. i'll still bring gifts they can give to their family tho, i wanna show my appreciation to everyone!! * are you allowed to bring extra empty suitcases onto the plane with you? I'm anticipating that knowing myself im probably gonna buy enough souveniers to need one. I'm planning to basically have half the money be for travel and then half again is just for buying NOVELTY HATS! * need to make sure to finally get a passport, and also consult heavily with my support worker and friends to make sure i have every form of travel documentation in order. I know stuff is... not good, in america right now. Thats probably why it'd be good that it'd take me years to save up for a visit, hopefully i'd be there after the next election. But I need to prepare anyway, in case border control is even more stringent. * Prepare the 'ol misgendering, because getting strip searched and treated as a suspicious threat is a very big reality for trans people. Having the wrong gender marker on your birth certificate is treated as 'this passport must be a forgery' rather than.. yknow.. transgender people exist. And then you need to be invasively handled by the guards to make sure you aren't packing explosives down your goddamn pants, they have to inspect the parts of you that you're most self concious about. *shudder* I've heard a lot of horror stories. I dunno if america is any better about it. But yeah I'm probably gonna have to just pass as female during boarding and hotels and stuff, and not wear my binder til i get to meet my friends. Saves trouble... Man, I might have to even go buy some more cliche feminine outfits or something, to make sure. Itd be fun burning them afterwards, I guess... * BRING GIFTS FOR FRIENDS N FAMILY! Figure out what is and isnt allowed to be transferred between countries. As far as I know I cant bring any form of food or drink right? I'm only allowed to eat the in-flight meals? Thats a shame cos I wanted to bring welsh cakes, theyre the only one of our local delicacies that's not a super acquired taste. (I tried bara bryth for the first time and DIED) And I dunno if anyone would be interested in silly souveniers of my country but I could get a pile of em if you are! Want an eight foot tall lovespoon? Want a giant inflatable daffodil? Want a bazillion ceramic dragons? * I am determined to bring at least one personalized super awesome gift for each person! It might just be an expensive merchandise of their fave show, it might be some form of handmade handicraft of one of their ocs! whatever I'm able to do! ^_^ * BRING SKETCHBOOKS SO WE CAN DRAW TOGETHER. LEARN THE WAYS OF THE AMERICAN MASTERS. * hey does anyone wanna trade trading cards yo. They'd be like the single easiest thing to bring with me, but I only have a handful of pokemon ones and i only really have one friend that I know likes yugioh. (And she's in england) * WE CAN FOOL AROUND LIKE DOOFS. God willing, if anyone wants to join me I will play water balloon tennis or jalapeno roulette or any sort of insane friend activity you can think of!! Gotta make up for the fact im a boring teetotaler. Tho lol I probably already act more drunk than the real drunks at a party XD * TAKE A LOT OF PHOTOS!! And possibly try and acquire a portable video camera? I'd only photo/video anyone if they gave me permission, and I wouldnt post it online unless I also had permission for that. I just wanna make a lot of memories and record them forever! Whenever I feel down, I can remember this amazing trip!!! * remember to get one of those plug adaptor thingies cos american plugs have one less prong. Gotta trade the pokeymons!! I know I can already do that easily online but BATTLING IN PERSON WOULD BE EPIC * ...bring an Ash cosplay? XD * no but seriously if i could schedule this right to coincide with an american convention or something that'd be awesome! EVEN MORE SOUVENIERS! And I could actually try cosplaying!! I'd have to find a character that suits me tho, I dont wanna get laughed at like everyone always does with fat people cosplaying thin characters. (Like... almost every character is thin, yo. let people do what they want) * possible idea: magma admin tabitha from pokemon? he's like the only fave I have who's chubby but not like... inherantly a comic relief ugly guy or a seventy year old grandpa. I wanted to do quina quen from final fantasy 9 but I dont think I have the charisma to pull it off. I'd get paranoid if people just treated the character how they treat the character, my brain would twist everything into an insult on my costume or myself XD also I kinda already look like tabitha, tho I'd either have to go without hairdye or like... wear a wig in my natural hair colour. Also his costume is super heavy and sweaty in a convention setting, according to what I;ve heard from other team magma cosplayers. (Makes you wonder how on earth they all wore it on a volcano!) * WHAT IS AN AMERICAN BISCUIT. They look like savoury welshcakes??? Learn about all the language differences! Man I wish I could bring food souveniers back with me, I'd never be able to try every single different foodstuff in america in one day without DYING. AND DYING AGAIN. * Collect product wrappers and advertisements! Its always really interesting to me to see the differences between countries! A friend mailed me an american cola once and the bottle was a whole different shape??? (he also mailed me a bunch of spent shotgun shells, which was kinda terrifying cos I was currently in a christian homeless shelter and I didnt exactly wanna cause trouble XD Apparantly it is totally legal to own unuseable bullets tho, as long as you dont have a gun.) * I dunno if any of my friends would be equally interested in similar things? i could take requests for weird british stuff to bring with me! * for summon-daze specifically: since we are both cuddly honest goofballs of childlike joy, maybe bring some of my plushie collection to show her? I'd usually just bring one as an emergency anti-anxiety measure. Tho the embarassment from having a full on meltdown in public and having to be seen hugging a plush toy to keep from crying means its not 100% effective. Only works good when I'm with people who arent judgmental. Secret pocket gengar plush is good for other times! (I've been squeezing that thing during doctors appointments and nobody noticed!) * extra reason why I'd love to visit my friends: visiting my friends's pets. I have been absolutely blessed by images of dazy's pet cat Pam, and apparantly her family has a few other cats and a dog! O_O WHAT AN AMAZING LIFE YOU LIVE. I always tell her to give pam a hug from me, and I know pam probably wouldnt like me very much when we first meet cos she's shy, but still I'd love to at least see her. I wish cats could somehow know that they give joy to people through the internet! * ...are you allowed to bring medications across the border? is there a procedure I need to go through to be allowed to bring my antidepressants? Would painkillers be allowed too? If not, is there anywhere I could buy plane-bring-onnable headache meds in the lobby or something? Just anticipating that I might get a stress migraine on the plane, cos it'd be my first time ever flying. * are you allowed to take photos out the plane window, if you use a non electronic camera? i know you cant really see anything but panning landscapes but it still sounds awesome!

[samoas]

all flower asks

o okay amaryllis - name an attribute of yourself that you are proud of.- hm. my inability to be fake i just cant do it anemone - describe a time when you felt abandoned or betrayed by someone you loved.- my dad yeeted out of the picture 7 years ago azalea - would you describe yourself as a patient person?- with people and things i care about the most yes, everything else, no begonia - describe anything you see as a “red flag” (something that makes you cautious about a new friend or love interest)- they make jokes about me to me and then get upset if i get upset bird of paradise - do you like hosting parties, or do you prefer to just attend?- just attend. if i tried to throw a party nobody would come lol bluebell - what keeps you humble?- im fucking STUPID bro i cant be arrogant chrysanthemum - describe your idea of a perfect day.- i wake up naturally around 8 am and i dont feel tired. i can get out of bed easily and make my coffee. its cold outside and everything is frosted over. i spend my time writing letters ill never send and listening to soft music spring crocus - describe your favorite childhood memory.- one of my favs is when me and my mom were in the backyard gardening and came across 5 or 6 little snakes. she put them all in a mason jar for me to look at and then she released them in the ditch across the street because i didnt want them to get hurt daffodil - how do you confess your feelings to someone you’re interested in?- just......... say u like them daisy - describe something that gives you hope when things seem bleak.- i met harry styles in a thrift store foxglove - when was the last time you told a lie?- a couple days ago when i told my mom i had eaten gardenia - have you ever had to keep a romance a secret? if so, why and for how long?- oh yeah babey....... ive kept 2- one for 6 months, another for 2 months purple hyacinth - describe a time when you had to apologize to someone- i apologize constantly because im gross hydrangea - how much time do you spend on your appearance each day? - zero. i just make sure theres nothing on my face brush my teeth and go white jasmine - what is something that never fails to make you laugh?- this particular picture of a stretchy dog with absolute orbs for eyes lavender - describe your oldest friendship, and why you think it has lasted so long.- ive been friends with this girl for about 6 years, she was my brothers dads girlfriends daughter (confusing ik) but we became friends when i stayed at the dads house. we both love 1d and bonded a lot thru out parent problems lilac - describe your first relationship or first love.- oof. freshman year, freshly homosexual, first girlfriend, first time even considering a girlfriend. we were officially together for a week and then like kinda together for around 5 months. i really loved that gorl i dont know why. i was hung up on her for over a year after we broke things off. it almost killed me calla lily - what traits do you find beautiful in others? in yourself?- in others, everything really. i hate men but girls are beautiful ive never seen an ugly girl in my life (except for this one girl who has come into work wearing a maga shirt twice) and also honesty and sincerity - in myself, i like my eyes, my lips, and my hands. thats about it, personality is terrible tiger lily - if you had to choose between doing what you love and making very little money, or doing a job you hate and making a lot of money, what would you choose and why?- i would choose little money because knowing myself i cannot do something i dont like well at all and i probably quit my job immediately lotus flower - would you say that you are a spiritual person? if so, what elements of spirituality are important to you?- i like to think that there is some higher power but none in particular. i talk to the stars whenever i see them. i dont know really what im doing but it makes me feel better magnolia - describe your favorite thing to do outdoors.- finding bugs!!!!!!!!!!morning glory - are you an affectionate person? if so, how do you show affection?- most of the time. i like to be touching in some way, even if its just arms touching each other when we sit next to each other pansy - what is the most thoughtful thing that anyone has done for you?- my mom does so many things for me all the time and i just made myself cry thinking about them all lol peony - describe the top three things necessary for a happy life.- financial stability, some form of companionship, and freedom to do things you want petunia - what never fails to make you angry?- terfs red poppy - what tips or tricks do you use to cheer yourself up when you’re down?- i dont. i dissociate instead red rose - describe your ideal date or romantic evening. - walking around the city and talking and stop for coffee and just being togetheryellow rose - do you get jealous easily?- yes but i manage to stifle it so its not really a problem snowdrop - have you ever had a falling out with a friend or family member?- oh god ya. one whole side of my family and also my dad and many, many friends sunflower - do you consider yourself a loyal person? - if you are loyal to me yes sweet pea - describe a difficult goodbye you had to make to a friend or other loved one.- when my uncle died i was supposed to get to call him the day before but they didnt think i needed to and told me he died 3 days after he did. i said goodbye while scattering his ashes in a lake violet - how important is loyalty in friendships and/or relationships?- very very very important. not like "you can only talk to me" loyalty but like, be honest, dont lie, and dont skip out of me u know wisteria - do you like poetry? if so, describe your favorite poem(s).- not a huge poetry person zinnia - do you have any loved ones in your life that you miss and wish you could see? - my uncle, a bunch of old family