#the water reminds me of when i was a kid and wed travel and id play in pools all day

[dexaroth]

never in my wildest dreams would i imagine i could run shaders.. look at this water. so pretty.. and theres so much more. ive gotta look into texture packs n such

[weekendwarriorblog]

THE LEGO MOVIE 2: ED’s Very Important Thoughts on the Animated Sequel

It’s hard to believe it’s been five years since Lord and Miller’sThe LEGO Movie blew everyone out of the water with the fact that an animated advertisement for the LEGO brand could turn out to be an enjoyable and funny family with a nice message about playing with your toys. (Sure, Pixar kind of beat them to the punch with three Toy Story movies, but whatever.)

Lord and Miller are back to write the sequel with Mike Mitchell (Trolls) directing, and as the title suggests, it actually takes place right after the end of the first movie when the main boy is told by his father (Will Ferrell) that he has to let his little sister play with the LEGOs, too. The results are these toddler-created monsters threatening Bricksburg, which is a great gag, sure, but not one you might think worthy of a five-year cliffhanger. Those alien creatures are the wards of the Tiffany Haddish-voiced Queen Watevra Wa'Nabi, who wants the Chris Pratt-voiced Emmet’s friends to come to her royal wedding, but Emmett decides to save his pals from the queen’s brainwashing instead.  On the way, he meets Rex Dangervest, a tougher and cooler version of himself (also voiced by Pratt), and the two of them travel to the Queen’s planet, mainly to rescue Emmett’s ongoing love interest Wyldstyle/Lucy (Elizabeth Banks).

So how did this turn out?

In a nutshell, I HATED IT.

I’m not trying to be a Cranky McCrankerson here, but before I get into my review in more detail, let me paint a picture for you: I go to the screening room, presuming it will mostly be press (or the press that hadn’t already left for Sundance) seeing the movie early so they can review by the time the embargo breaks. Instead, it’s mostly made up of parents with small children who talked all the way through the movie… and that wasn’t even my biggest issue, because the movie was supposedly MADE for kids. No, I was sitting next to this older guy who was laughing and reacting so loudly to EVERY SINGLE SMALL GAG that I could barely hear the dialogue being said sometimes. After about fifteen minutes of him and a couple others behind me cackling like hyenas, I thought I was going crazy. Am I missing something here? Was that small gag really THAT funny?

I mean, don’t get me wrong, as I’ve been a fan of Lord and Miller for a long time, and up until this movie, I thought they could do wrong. They’ve even managed to avoid the sequel slump TWICE with two decent sequels, but this time? Not so much. Clearly, their focus may have been more on making Spider-Verse great, because this one ended up just being a lot of recycled one-joke characters – yeah, we get it… Batman has an ego, Benny loves spaceships – and a bunch of new characters who didn’t do much for me. Tiffany Haddish basically just does her usual schtick, voicing the film’s pseudo-baddie with the filmmakers expecting that audience members will be along for the ride. 

And then there’s the songs, which were somewhat endearing in the original LEGO Movie, but now seems to be making fun of its own silliness by including a song sung diabolically by Haddish about her not being evil and others which are are similarly inane. (There’s a song called “Catchy Song” that’s meant to be super catchy… get it?)

Chris Pratt is still having a good time now voicing two very different roles, although Emmett’s bright enthusiasm in the face of horrible occurences wears itself thin pretty quickly. Elizabeth Banks is also great, and sure, it’s hard to hate Will Arnett voicing Batman, but it always feels like everyone is trying too hard while not pushing the envelope nearly enough to make Part 2 stand apart as its own movie.  (The real world stuff is overused, whereas in the original, it was a nice change of scenery/environment.)

Clearly, Lord and Miller know what worked so well from the first movie, and they make very little effort to reinvent said money-making wheel, plus new director Mike Mitchell also doesn’t seem to have an idea what’s working humor-wise or not. (True confession: I HATED Trolls, too.)  Basically, everything and the kitchen sink is thrown at the viewer until they no longer can resist being dragged along for the ride. That’s right. The viewer themselves are being brainwashed, and while the first movie made an effort to avoid or create humor out of its obvious consumerism, this one goes so overboard as to have a recurring joke of showing the product ID of some of the bricks being used in the builds. In other words, no one involved making this movie can ever make a joke about product placement or Disney’s merchandising in movies ever again. (It partially reminded me of 2017′s The Emoji Movie, though not quite as flagrant.)

When all else fails, it falls back on the cameos and inside jokes that only adults will get and only dimwitted fanboys and girls will laugh at. In other words, it’s playing down to the rubes – people who will mindlessly laugh at anything that connects with their own personal worldview. Normally that would be fine in a family film, but there’s so much that will leave the kids out in the cold. A Mad Max: Fury Roadgag? Twilight? Back to the Future? Really? It just feels like Lord and Miller have lost touch with the primary audience this movie is supposed to appeal to—kids—and instead want to make sure their parents i.e the ones that make the money to buy their kids all the movie-related LEGO toys, are having a good time. I don’t think me not being a parent was why it didn’t necessarily work on me.

There also generally seems to be too many messages from the typical “be yourself, cause that’s what people like” (not always true) and even worse is the one to “play nice with your little sister.” As someone who spent four years begging my mother for a little sister and then realizing what a nightmare she would be for the next 20 years of my life (I kid, sis!), it’s hard to give a thumbs up to a movie that’s probably eschewing the same message that will probably be the message of the upcoming Toy Story 4. Sure, there is some third act cleverness with a time travel twist, but it feels like younger kids will probably be scratching their heads trying to understand that, as well.

With an uninspired plot that pummels the viewer with jokes only the simplest of minds will laugh at -- and I’m not even talking about kids here! -- The LEGO Movie 2 is a lot like the animated version of the Fyre Festival. So are we having fun yet?

Rating: 5/10

[adeliciouslyzealouscollect-blog2]

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[rickarycolinryan]

Unsuspecting Mess - 1

Rick rubbed his eyes, he’d been at this for hours and the glow of the screen was getting to him.  Four women were dead, four different cases, spread out over the last 2 years.  He’d been over every detail every shred of evidence. He had read every report countless times, and talked to every witness himself.  The cases were similar but not enough to completely link them, and definitely not solve them.  Nothing connected the victims so there were no suspects.  He had to be missing something, or someone.  Something had been over looked.  That was why he kept going over and over everything.

He let out a long sigh. His head bent forward as he rubbed his neck with his fingers his eyes slowly lifted and he looked around the room.  There were a couple of officers at the front who would be here all night, and one detective was at the back making coffee.  There were probably a few others here and there, but most everyone else was gone for the night.  It was late and it had been a quiet day.  Why was he still here?  This seemed to happen to Rick often.  He usually stayed too late.  He quietly stood up, after shutting down the computer and grabbed his suit coat.  He pulled it on covering his holstered weapon as he did.  He headed toward the door.  

“Have a good night, detective Ryan.”

He looked up to see the blond woman at the front desk smiling at him.  Her tone had been a little teasing.  He had known Melissa for years, since high school.  She had been best friends with Rick’s girlfriend back then, and she had even dated Rick’s high school best friend.  He returned her smile.  “Have a good night yourself, Mel.” Giving her a nod and then went right back to walking out of the station.  He knew Melissa had a bit of a crush on him; she had for a long time.  But she worked at the station and there was no way in hell he would ever date someone at work.  

He walked down the street, it was past dusk, the street lights had a low buzz as the hummed with power.   The sound of cars passing and people walking along, the city was alive.  While Rick often delayed his walk home from work, it was still his favorite part of his day.  The morning was a rush, but the evening had a different feel.  This was home.  The smell of the hotdog stand as he walked by, the vender was packing up for the day.  A cab rolled past and splashed the remints of a puddle from an earlier rain storm up onto the side walk, the sound of sirens in the distance, and then honking of cars. Home, the sights, the rhythm, music to his soul, for the moment he let go of the cases he was working on, and he let go of his own problems and he listened to the melody of the world around him.

Before long he was walking up his own street and to the stairs of his very own brownstone.  It was 3 apartments now, though once years ago it had been one big house.  The basement apartment was a widowed woman, Mrs. Jenkins.  She was a bit of a busy body.  She knew everyone in the neighborhood and everything that went on. She was always trying to introduce Rick to one girl or another, wanting to see him settled down with a nice girl. Rick so far had been able to avoid those set ups, much to Mrs. Jenkins disappointment.  The top floor was a young couple.  They kept to themselves.  Rick hardly ever saw them.  But he often heard them through the ceiling.  They’d fight and make up; they’d laugh and talk loudly.  And the sounds of them at night, every night, made Rick feel lonely.  They were in love and it reminded Rick just how far away from love he really was.  

“There you are, Ricky.”

His light eyes dropped to see the older woman looking at him from her window toward the street.  Rick bent down, “Mrs. J…” he nodded and started to move toward the stairs again.

“Hold on there, Ricky. I’ve got something for you.”  

He could hear her rushing for her door and trying to hurry to get to him before he walked up the stairs to the front door.  

“Rick!”  She was on the street now. “So glad I saw you walking past.  Haven’t seen you in a few days now, you work too much young man.” She handed him a Tupperware container.  “I made a roast chicken, with carrots and potatoes.  It’s far too much for one old woman to eat,” pressing the container more firmly into his large hands.

“Oh…wow.” Rick smiled bigger.  “Thanks Mrs. J.” he had learned she would never take no for an answer when it came to food.  She was an amazing cook and honestly he was grateful.  “I was just wondering what I was going to eat tonight.”

She rolled her eyes but her smile went wide.  “I gotta take care of my body guard.”  She had called him that since she had found out he was a detective.  She reached up and pinched his cheek.  “Such a strong young man.” She patted the same cheek she had just pinched.  “…have you met Cynthia?  She moved in two doors down.” Her brows lifted as she smirked.  “A lovely girl.  Really a peach.  I’ll introduce you sometime…maybe Friday?  Are you busy Friday?”

“Oh…uh…” Rick licked his lips.  His eyes went to the left.  “Friday? Friday is no good.  I have a family dinner Friday.  Ma would never forgive me if I missed it.” He lied. Though he could go to his parents place any night and eat.  He’d just have to remember to do that Friday, or stay out Friday so he wouldn’t get hijacked into a date with Cynthia, whoever she was.  

“Oh…that’s too bad. Another time, Ricky.” She nodded.

“Yeah, sure.  I’d like that.” He backed toward the stairs.  “Thanks for the chicken Mrs. J.”

“Yeah yeah.” She waved to him as he was already opening the door to his place.

Rick walked through the nearly empty living room, and into the sparse kitchen.  He set the Tupperware on the counter and opened the lid.  The fragrance of the seasoned poultry made his mouth water. It was still warm and he felt his stomach growl.  He opened the drawer to his right and pulled out a fork.  He started in on the chicken right there at the counter.  Not that there was a better place to eat.  He didn’t own a table.  There was the couch in the living room.  No other place to sit.  The place was actually pretty big, but he had never filled it.  The kitchen had room for a table but living alone he didn’t see the point.  The living room could stand another couch, end tables maybe a chair or two, but Rick only needed one place to sit.  His room had a bed and a dresser.  Nothing more. There was a second bedroom, with nothing in it at all!  He took another bite of the meat and heard the sounds from upstairs.  Muffled voices, they sounded happy tonight.  He couldn’t make up what they were saying just tone and laughter.  They were having dinner together.  He took the chicken and walked out into the living room to avoid the happy sounds.

The sound of his phone ringing from his pocket saved him from his loneliness.  He answered without reading the caller ID.  “Rick Ryan.”

“Hey big brother! Why don’t you get out of that shit whole you live in and meet me at Donavan’s?”  That was the bar near where Erin lived.  Hearing his favorite sister’s voice on the phone made a wide smile come to his face.  He hadn’t seen her in a while, and he had no plans.

 “Why not?  What time?”  

 “NOW.”  Her laughter rang out as she said it.  “I have something I need to talk with you about.”

 Her voice was so bright and happy.  He missed his kid sister.  “I’m on my way, Sis.”  He hadn’t even set his keys down.  He turned around and left again.  His gun still strapped to him in its holster.  Something that was rare when he was off duty.  

 Erin was the youngest of the six Ryan kids.  She was the wild one, the undefined one.  Mary was the oldest, and she was like a second mom, so no one was surprised when she got married right out of high school and now had 3 kids.  Ray was the second oldest, and he had always wanted to get away, get out of the crowded Ryan house away from the busy city.  He became a pilot and did nothing but travel now; he was engaged to a flight attendant going on 2 years never having time to actually have a wedding.  And then there were the twins Betsy and Betty they had married brothers and each had a set of twins.  Betty had girls that were 2 years old and Betsy had boys that were 4.  Rick and Erin were both single.  Rick was the middle child and Erin the baby with 6 years between them; still they had the most in common.  Erin had even lived with Rick for a short time that was until she had met Griffin and moved out to be with him.  Rick just about growled at the thought of Griffin.  He was not good enough for Erin!  Something about Griffin had always bothered Rick; he really didn’t like the guy.  Rick tried not to let it show or to mess up his relationship with his youngest sister, he was always on Erin’s side no matter what.  If she wanted to live with Griffin he would never make her feel badly for it.  Their very Catholic parents did enough of that already.  

 He arrived at the bar and walking in looking for his sister.  It was pretty busy tonight.  He wasn’t a big fan of crowds.  He moved his way through trying to get to the bar, figuring that would be where he’d find her.  

 “Rick!  Over here.”  He turned and saw his little sister coming toward him.  He smiled brightly to her.  Her sweet face beamed back at him.  “Oh my God.  Rickary! I’ve missed you.  I have so much to tell you!”  

Was it just him?  Or was she bouncing?  “What?  What’s up, Erin?”  He wondered if she had a new job again, or maybe she had found yet another lost puppy. He would try his best to be excited for her.

“Well you won’t believe this.”  She suddenly looked very nervous.  Maybe a little scared…almost.  “…but…” She held up her left hand to him to look at.  

He looked at her hand confused for a couple seconds and then his eyes fell on a ring on a rather important finger.  He couldn’t help the anger that hit him hard.  He had always had a gut feeling Griffin was bad news.  Rick had mentioned it to Erin once but had pushed it away when she had begged him to drop it.  From the look of that ring he would be biting his tongue for a long time to come.  Her happiness was the most important thing, if this was what she wanted, he would be happy for her.    He had always hoped she would come to her senses in her own time.  Now, it seemed, he was wrong.  “Sis…”

“I know!”  She grinned and giggled.  She looked behind her to where Griffin sat at a table.  He smiled back looking awfully proud of himself. Rick felt sick.  “He just asked me.  I told him we HAD to tell you first.”

He needed to think about this.  He forced a smile to his face.  “Let me get a round of drinks.”  He was going to ignore the fact that his sister was only 20, at least for tonight. “Go sit down I’ll be right over.”

He moved back toward the bar.  “I need 3 beers.”  He let out a sigh as he said the words.  Feeling like he had just been hit by a truck.  He wasn’t sure if it was the fact he didn’t trust Griffin, or if it was that he didn’t want to watch his younger sister get married.  He frowned and let out a sigh.  

He heard the conversation the bartender was now having with a beautiful brunette as he was pulling the beers out of the cooler for Rick.  He couldn’t help but overhear.  It was obvious the girl didn’t want to be bugged.  She was on the other side of the bar from him.  He could tell right away from her tone she wanted this guy to just back off.  Problem was he wasn’t getting the message he was straight up intruding and flirting. “We went to High School together!” The guy smiled widely and kept right on going.  “You have to remember me!  My name’s Adam.  Come on…I was in a bunch of your classes.  I always had a crush on you…how could anyone not have a crush on you.  Your eyes, smile…” The girl almost smiled but then the moron went on to blow it, “your…” his eyes looked at her chest and widened. The woman’s eyes rolled in disgust.

Rick sighed and rolled his eyes too.  Pathetic. This guy had no clue.  Rick grabbed his beers and walked around the bar to where Bartender Adam was failing miserably.  He set the drinks down and carefully touched the woman in the middle of her back.  He looked down at her with a nice smile.  “I was getting worried, you’re late.”  He winked at her carefully, hoping Adam wouldn’t see.   He hoped the guy would get this hint a little faster.  He could save face now, if he just walked away.  

“I’m late?” she looked confused.  Her big blue eyes looked at Rick’s arm that was around her.  She looked like she was about ready to fight but she eased back when she saw the wink.  “You’re the one that is late.  I’ve been here a while.  You forgot what I look like or something?” She smiled.

Rick kept his light eyes on her blue ones.  He could tell that the bartender was still standing there, perhaps wondering what their relationship was.  If they were friends there’d still be hope for Adam.  “How was your day, hun?”  He leaned a little closer to her and whispered.  “If this doesn’t work…I might have to kiss you.”  He grinned when he said it.  He wouldn’t mind the sacrifice at all.  She was beautiful.  No wonder Adam had always had a crush on her.  She was the type of woman Rick would want to hit on.  But most likely never would.  In a way he was doing that right now.  But in his mind he was trying to rescue her from this awkward situation.

“My day was pure hell! A lady stole my cab this morning. They messed up my coffee at Starbucks AGAIN, and Frank kept calling me Sardine.  What kind of nickname is that?  Am I fishy? Salty?  In a can?  I don’t get it!” She leaned closer to Rick; her hand went up his arm to his shoulder. “Then this guy was staring at my boobs like they are free candy!” She turned to glare at the bartender.

Rick took the cue; he glared at the bartender too.  They watched as Adam took a step back.

Rick looked back at the woman he didn’t know.  His fingers touched her cheek and he pushed her hair back from her face.  “I hope I can make your day better, baby.” He nodded to the table off to the far end of the bar. “My sister and her new fiancé are over there waiting for us.”    

Adam looked like he might be buying this but he wasn’t sure.  Rick sighed inwardly and decided to lay it on a little thicker.  He leaned down and wrapped his arms around.  He hugged her close to him.  “Wow I missed you.”  He whispered in her ear.  “You are more than welcome to join me and my sister for drinks here.  Keep this guy away from you…no strings.”  

“I think I’ll take you up on that.” She whispered back.

He beamed as he looked into her eyes.   “Come on…” His hand slipped down to take hers, his other hand grabbed the 3 long neck bottles holding the tops between his fingers.  He led her across the room, “My name is Rick.  Rick Ryan.” He smiled at her.

“Lucy James.”  

It was all they had time to exchange before they reach the table where Erin was sitting.  

#b)e<