#the very best of me is in you //. dyn. hope & hayley

[rnikaelson]

[bestintheparsec]

“I can’t imagine my life without you in it” + “I didn’t think you cared”

Pairing: Javier Peña x Reader

Warnings: none

Words: 900 ish

- Hi anon, you sent this a month ago and I’m sorry it took this long for me to post this; but I hope you like it😅 Also I’m so glad you enjoyed Healer!❤️

Requests | Masterlist

You’re out of the hospital and home now, pouring yourself some more whiskey and walking back and forth across the living room, trying to fill your head with lighter thoughts before bed.

You try to stretch your neck and wince at the bit of pain that strikes your shoulder. Looking down at the bandages, you take another drink from the glass.

The attempt at clearing your thoughts is a weak one at best. Your mind can’t help but go to Javier, replaying that fight you had the night before you’d gotten into the altercation with the sicarios. Hurtful things were said, on both ends, and by the end of it you were left alone with nothing but your frustrated tears.

Your thoughts are interrupted by several loud knocks on your door. You know exactly who it is, and by now you’re feeling more apprehension than hurt.

Javier paces impatiently outside the door to your apartment. 

He’d heard from a very reluctant Steve that you’d been rather severely injured on the field, and he was fuming. At himself, for not being out there that day, and at Steve for hiding it from him, despite it being on your insistence.

Fear is something he’s gotten used to, doing what he does; but he never likes when it’s in regards to you. 

You open the door to find the pained look on his face. After a moment of neither of you saying anything, you step aside and let him in, shutting the door quietly after him.

He follows your hurriedly back to the living room, and reaches out to touch your arm—it’s only a split second before he moves away again, running a hand through his hair. He wears a frown that carries more frustration than usual.

“Are you...alright?” Javi asks hesitantly in a low voice. The tension from the last night you saw each other still lingers.

“Well, I’m home now,” you answer simply. You’d taken a day off of work to recoup, not telling Javier or anyone else except Steve and the ambassador. 

“You got shot and didn’t think it was worth telling me?” He raises his voice just a little.

“I didn’t think you cared,” you whisper. “After the other night...”

“What did you want me to say?” he says, his voice deep. “That I can’t imagine my life without you in it?”

You both go still, the silence cutting sharply through the air. He holds your gaze for a few seconds before glancing away. You look at him with concern and confusion, a furrow in your brows. All you can concentrate on are the deep rises and falls of his chest; he seems to be just as taken aback as you are by the words.

A long pause goes by before you speak again. “Javi, I—”

He interrupts with a hefty sigh, mostly directed at himself; his shoulders fall as he shakes his head. 

“I’m...gonna go,” he says, starting to turn towards the door.

He makes it three steps forward before you stop him.

“No—wait,” you murmur quietly. “Please...don’t go.” You can barely meet his eyes, hating the pleading tone in your voice. You feel his intense gaze on you.

Javi walks back over after a moment, almost reluctantly, and nearly closes the space between you.

Tentatively, he takes both of your hands, then traces his fingers slowly up your arms, barely brushing them along your skin. He doesn’t meet your eyes as his gaze falls on the nasty wound on your shoulder; his jaw clenches when he sees some of the blood that's seeped through the gauze. You don’t know what to say, or if you should say anything at all, so instead you move to rest your hand on his chest; a gesture of reassurance.

He should’ve been there, he thinks to himself.

His eyes finally break away and meet yours again, and you can’t quite make out the expression in them. He looks hurt, though it doesn’t seem to be about your injury.

Before you can read him any further, he carefully tucks a piece of your hair behind your ear. He’s even closer to you now, and you can smell a hint of cigarette smoke on him.

Javi cradles your face in his hand, and leans down to press a kiss to the top of your head. He lingers there for a few seconds before pulling away. When you tilt your head up to peer up at him again, he finally pulls you in for a kiss that seems to carry everything he couldn’t say out loud. 

His hands move down to your waist and rest behind your back, when suddenly he stops and pulls back, as though he’d gotten carried away with himself.

“What I said...” he starts, but can’t seem to finish the sentence.

You wrap your arms around his torso, leaning your head against his chest. 

“You don’t need to say anything,” you say. It comes out quieter than you expected, and his arms suddenly tense up around you. Just as quickly, he relaxes again.

Eventually you break apart and he follows you to bed; you're both spent. He doesn’t always stay, and on most nights you don’t go straight to sleep. Somehow it always ends up like this; unspoken words that he’s not quite sure how to say. But when he has you in his arms and everything else fades away, Javier starts to believe he may figure it out one day.

~

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