#the underlying mental illnesses that he has that the church seems to be utterly unsympathetic to...
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Thought about John Ward I'm just gonna explode now
#I cannot fucking stop thinking about how his faith has simultaneously ruined and protected him#like the sheer amount of trauma he's gotten thanks to the church but at the same time his faith is one of the only things-#keeping him stable whatsoever. like the guilt complex. the internal homophobia. the vicious moral internal judgment at all times#the underlying mental illnesses that he has that the church seems to be utterly unsympathetic to...#but at the same time. he's clinging to his faith as there's nothing else he can trust in. there's nothing else by his side#idk let me lay down forever or whatever. he needs so much help and yet im just gonna throw him to the wolves <- gary
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