#the true viktor fuckers are talking

[starlahuskyz]

Chances - Chapter 19

Summary: Jordan's story only goes downhill, the boys soon discover where he distrust and anxieties came from.

The follow up to Jordan's lore, this might be longer than the previous chapter.

Chapter 18 <<< >>> Chapter 20

TW// Vampire Indoctrination, Vomit, Implied Suicide, Blood and Gore

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Everyone felt tense, no one said anything for a moment, Jordan shuffled a bit in Marko’s hold feeling discomfort. David spoke first.

“So those fuckers were vampires, I had a feeling.”

“I thought you guys could tell when someone was a vampire?” Jordan tilted her head in confusion.

“Well we didn’t know you were a vampire, so that’s not quite how that works.”

“Oh” She leaned back into Marko and Paul talked next.

“So, what did you think when you found out your boyfriend was a vampire?” 

“I’m getting there, warning you all now though it goes downhill from here.” She continues on.

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Jordan had chosen not to tell her parents about what happened that fateful night. She pondered whether what happened was real or just a really fucked up dream. She had gone the boardwalk in search of Viktor to see if he could give her the answers she was looking for. She didn’t see him for a few days though, until she saw him performing again. After the performance she entered the backstage and confronted him, he was abnormally tense after seeing her approach him.

“Viktor, we need to talk.” Jordan grabbed his hand.

“I already know what you’re gonna say.” He pulled away from her grasp.

“That’s not what this is, I’m looking for answers dammit. What the hell was up with that night, was that all some sick prank or was it real?”

“What do you think? It should be pretty obvious what happened, I’m a vampire and killed those guys for you.”

Jordan was at a loss “A vampire? They’re real?”

“I mean you’re looking at one.” Johnny piped up from behind her and cackled.

“Okay, so if you’re a vampire…why didn’t you kill me?” Viktor looked surprised.

“Why would I? I love you, I wouldn’t even fathom doing such a thing. But now I must ask, how come you’re so…normal about this?” 

Viktor was genuinely confused, most people who learned of his true identity would run and scream and he’d have to unceremoniously end their lives. Yet, Jordan didn’t seem to care too much, she cared more about the fact he wasn’t too honest about being a night stalker.

“It hasn’t bothered our relationship up until this point, I don’t see a reason to get upset about it. You did save my life after all.” She didn’t seem like she was bluffing.

“I see. So even though I’m a bloodsucker, you don’t really care?” 

“Not really.”

Viktor only stood there thinking to himself, now faced with a scenario he never imagined himself being in up until this point. Having a mate who didn’t him being a vampire seemed like an impossible dream, and yet, here he was.

Viktor pulled Jordan close to him and relaxed, his bandmates also seemed relatively happy with Jordan’s thoughts.

“I’m glad to hear you’re so accepting of me, hopefully you can join us someday.” At that statement, Jordan pushed him away.

“No…I’m sorry but no. I can’t be a vampire, I have a family and a job.” Viktor’s smile faltered. 

“C’mon, won’t you at least consider it? Being a vampire is wonderful. You’ll stay young forever, never have to worry about being sick, and never let anyone be in your way. I implore you to at least think about it, please?” Viktor seemed genuine, but Jordan remained conflicted.

“I don’t know, maybe. I’ll have to take some time to think about it. It’s a big decision.” Viktor smiled.

“I’ll give you time.”

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“So you found out he was a vampire and that’s how you react?” Paul looked at her with judgment in his eyes.

“I guess I didn’t really care because we had been dating for a while without issue. I didn’t really think that he could be incredibly dangerous to me.” Marko inhaled once again feeling peeved.

“Why couldn’t I have dated you first, you were so perfect.” He would’ve loved to date Jordan if she were this casual about vampires before she even became one.

“Thanks, but if I turned him down and stopped dating him he would’ve killed me. So be happy I’m here now and you have me.” She reached over to pat his head.

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Jordan had distanced herself from Viktor and his bandmates for quite a while, they had been pushing her to become a vampire like them and she was very against the idea. She weighed her options a lot considering that Viktor truly loved her. She didn’t want to drop him completely considering he’d been the best thing that had ever happened to her. But at the same time she didn’t want to leave her family behind and become a killer to survive. And no matter what even after a whole month of thinking, she never came to a decision.

She sat in her room listening to her walkman as it played music that fell on deaf ears as her thoughts overtook her mind. She didn’t even initially notice at first but there was knocking at her window. She eventually noticed when the song came to an end and saw Viktor trying to open the window with varying degrees of success. She eventually opened the window to let him in.

“Hey Viktor, did you need something?” She watched as he climbed into her house through the window while holding a tall paper bag in his hand.

“Just came to check on you, you don’t come to the boardwalk a lot anymore.” He stroked her hair affectionately.

“I’ve been busy lately, that’s all.”

“Let me guess, still trying to make your decision?”

“Yep, it’s been seriously bugging me lately.” Jordan moved to sit on the bed again.

Viktor sighed “You really shouldn’t think too hard about this, just jump in and make a decision. And I got something to help make it a little easier for you.”

Jordan watched as he pulled out a very bejeweled wine bottle filled with what she assumed to be red wine. Jordan got a little tense because she was only 19 so not legally able to drink. 

“You know I’m only 19 I can’t drink yet-”

“One swig won’t hurt anybody, it’ll be enough for you to calm down a bit. And trust me I know, you need it more than anybody.” He handed it to her and she took it hesitantly.

It was covered from its neck to base in colorful gems in all kinds of shapes and sizes. She popped the cork off the top and looked inside the bottle, a red liquid filled the container and it smelled quite putrid.

“What is this? It smells awful.”

“It’s what I call a fine wine, it might not smell or even taste very pleasant for you. But trust me, it’ll make you feel fantastic.” He continued pushing the bottle towards her, pressuring her to drink from the bottle.

She decided not to question him any further, with a deep breath, she drank from the bottle. She could hear the deep rumble of a laugh that came from Victor when she started drinking. It tasted unlike anything she had ever had before, it was sweet but also bitter. It was slightly thicker than water and gave her an intense high that made her see stars. After lowering the bottle, she closed her eyes relishing in the feeling given by the liquid contents within the bottle. Viktor leaned into her side whispering something gentle into her ear.

“Now, our love will be forever intertwined…” He lowered his mouth to her neck and took a large bite, he sucked the blood out of Jordan, but at that moment, she could care less.

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“So it’s a common thing for vampire indoctrination to include drinking a mysterious red liquid from a fancy bottle I assume?” Michael finally spoke after mostly listening the whole time.

“You know us too well, Mikey.” Paul really hammered the fact into Michael who only stared back less than thrilled.

“God I feel so stupid…” Jordan sighed frustratedly, Marko only held onto her tighter not saying a word.

“Everyone fucks up in life, you just fucked up harder than most.” David said not really helping Jordan.

“Thanks…dick. I know it was a fuck up, but if I would’ve believed the whole vampire thing to begin with, I would’ve just let him kill me right then and there. But now I’m forced to pay the price…”

No one spoke for a while, there wasn’t much the others wanted to say. Not including the half vampires, they hadn’t really thought of the idea of regretting becoming a vampire. They had all taken to being turned as a minor inconvenience that soon gave them many benefits. All except one…

“I get how you feel.” Dwayne spoke solemnly with a nod towards Jordan.

“Woah, really? I thought you loved being a vampire?” Jordan was surprised.

“I’m fine with it now, only because I got over my sadness now wanting to live a life of pure misery and pain all because I never moved past one bad decision I made many years ago. You need to do the same, you sit here talking about how stupid you were back when you were young. You’ve seemingly learned from your mistakes, so get over it, you’re just hurting yourself.”

The others were rather taken aback by Dwayne’s statement, they knew that he wasn’t in a very good place when he was turned and he always refused to even mention it. Now here he was talking about it with Jordan, someone he didn’t know amazingly well.

“I understand what you’re getting at, but it’s not very easy for me to forgive. And that includes myself, if it wasn’t for my stupidity, none of this shit would’ve happened.”

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The night after Jordan drank from the bottle, she felt awful. She couldn’t keep her food down and kept running to the bathroom in pain and vomiting up whatever she tried to eat. Her parents grew concerned about her and they of course eventually found out what she did the night before and while they were less than thrilled, however they were more worried about making sure their daughter felt better. Both her parents thought she was suffering from a hangover or even alcohol poisoning and so decided to wait the day out and see how she would be feeling the day after.

Even after two days, Jordan wasn’t getting any better. In fact, it was getting worse, she started getting sensitive to the sun outside and she still couldn’t eat anything being presented to her. This led to Jordan’s parents taking her to see a doctor to find some answers. The doctor simply said she might’ve been suffering from food poisoning and prescribed some medication for her in hopes it’ll cure her.

Nothing…after a week, no results. She still suffered the same pain and nausea, but now she was getting better at hiding it from her parents. She didn’t want them to worry, she was starting to suspect Viktor did something to her. Now she was dead set on going to find him and see if he could help her out. Now with her new sleeping habits, she slept through the day and stayed awake all night making it a perfect time to go and find Viktor.

She had hopped onto her bike and rode through Santa Carla in search of Viktor, it was late though…very late. The usually bustling town was now dark and quiet, she rode through stirring up the only noise that wasn’t commonly heard this time at night. She eventually reached the boardwalk and parked her bike near the beach and looked around, not a single sign of life was present around her. She didn’t even see the usual bonfire being lit by Viktor’s bandmates, even though she saw nobody and there was nothing to prompt her to look any further, she descended the steps leading onto the beach. 

The waves crashed violently as Jordan walked down the beach getting further away from the boardwalk and becoming more isolated by the minute. She could feel a pull taking her somewhere, she wasn’t sure what it was, but her body seemed to sense something her brain couldn’t. Then, she saw the only sign of life around her, a drunk guy who was standing facing the ocean with a bottle in his hand. Jordan could weirdly sense his mood, he was sad, upset, solemn. She approached him with caution.

“Sir, are you okay?” The man turned to her slowly, he wasn’t in a hurry or even alarmed by her sudden appearance.

“What do you want?” He spoke blankly with a slight slur in his voice.

“I just want to make sure you’re okay, did something happen?” The man suddenly swung his bottle at her and Jordan backed up.

“I DON’T NEED YOUR HELP GOD DAMMIT!” He roared at her, refusing to listen to her.

Jordan’s patience was waning quickly, she only wanted to help this man and yet he seemed to have something against her. It was then that the man’s demeanor changed, he lowered the bottle and sat down on the sand sobbing hysterically.

“I can’t fucking take it anymore, could you do me a favor?” He looked solemnly at Jordan, who only dreaded to imagine what he had in mind. He spoke no more, but only lifted the bottle up to her as an offering. Jordan felt uneasy, yet she didn’t try to stop him.

“Are you sure?”

The man saw a rock to his side proceeding to shatter the bottle in his hands. In the process he cut his hand open making it bleed all of the sand, the man didn’t even care. He stood up and once again handed the bottle towards her direction, but now it was shattered and covered in the man’s blood. Then something overcame Jordan, it was a sudden pang of pain within her. She could hear the man’s pulsing heart and smell the blood coming from him, it all became quickly overwhelming to her.

Without even taking the man’s weapon offering, she lunged at him, pinning him to the sand and looking at his neck intensely. She felt an instinct kick in, it was unlike anything she’d ever experienced. It was a primal urge to rip into him with her bare hands, she felt her teeth grow into sharp fangs, her nails grew sharp like blades. Without much resistance, she then dove into his neck biting down hard in an attempt to rip out his jugular. The man barely even reacted, only giving out strained gasps as he felt her rip into him. With a forceful pull, she ripped his vocal chords out of his neck and sucked the blood out of him greedily. She even clawed at his torso, tearing him up like an angry cat. It didn’t take long, only a few minutes and he was nothing but skin and bones. When she was finished, she felt a high come over her. The pain and nausea all gone, her discomfort left her and she relished in the relief…only for a moment.

The realization suddenly hit her like a brick, she came down from her high and stared down at her own hands and started to panic. They were covered in blood  Shaking her head back and forth in disbelief, she was at a loss at what to do. She looked around at her surroundings for any potential spectators. As she looked, she spotted figures approaching her.

“It’s not what it looks like I swear!” She immediately yelled, only to hear a slow clap from the person approaching her. It was Viktor and his bandmates.

“You don’t gotta hide it, babe. I’m proud of you.” Viktor pulled her into a hug despite her messy state.

“Proud? What are you talking about?” Her mind was racing still not quite processing what she just did.

“C’mon, you still aren't getting it are you?” Viktor looked at her with a raised eyebrow as if it was obvious about what was going on.

Jordan thought for a moment before furrowing her brows and looking up at him.

“What did you do to me?” Her tone was ever so slightly pissed because she knew he did something.

“Don’t you remember our night together, you had your first drink that night. I started you down the road to be like me, but tonight, you really…sealed the deal.” Viktor caressed her face with his cold hand.

Jordan was confused at first, she looked at the body behind her, then to Viktor. She thought back to the night they had spent together, and the wine he gave her. Then, it all clicked…

“You…YOU BASTARD YOU FED ME BLOOD!” She shoved him away from her in anger.

“Relax Jordan, it was going to happen eventually. I thought you wanted to be with me forever?” He tried to sweet talk her but she was beyond upset.

“Yes I did, but not like this! I told you I didn’t want to be a vampire!” Jordan pointed at him accusingly.

“Listen, I didn’t want to have to do this either. I wanted you to make that decision on your own, but you weren’t making any progress so I wanted to help you. Plus, vampires and humans being lovers never last forever.”

“I don’t care, change me back! I don’t want this!”

At Jordan’s request, Viktor faltered, not answering.

“I’m afraid that’s not possible, at least…not anymore.”

“What are you talking about? Surely you can change me back!” She didn’t want to believe him.

“You were only a half vampire for these past few days, but now that you’ve made your first kill, you’re a full vampire now. You’re a killer now, and there's no going back.”

At his answer, Jordan felt her whole world come to a stop. She fell to her knees and threw her fists at the sand beneath her in a rage.

“HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME? YOU TOOK MY LIFE AWAY FROM ME YOU BASTARD!” She didn’t even look at him, she kept her head down and felt tears leaving her eyes and falling onto the sand.

Viktor kneeled onto the sand in front of her and pulled her in close.

“I did it out of love, it may hurt now, but you’ll feel better eventually. Soon the memories of your humanity will fade, and you’ll relish in the new ones we’ll make together.” Jordan’s despair was only amplified by his statement and she felt her fingers curl back into claws and quicker than anyone could predict, she snapped.

“I HATE YOU!” Before Viktor could respond, she swiped at his neck creating a large gash that sprayed blood everywhere. He let go of her and fell back gasping at the sudden attack.

The others jumped in to try and calm Jordan down but she wasn’t going down easy. She felt an inconceivable amount of built up rage within her that she was going to do whatever it took to get back at Viktor for what he did. Jordan found a piece of driftwood on the beach and started attacking the others with it. None of the band members wanted to get too close in fear of being staked. Unfortunately, Xavier got too close and received a stake to his heart, Jordan felt no remorse for him. The others now moved in to try and kill her, but it was a surprisingly futile effort. They one by one all dropped like flies, Johnny had his spine pulled out from his back, Jackson had his jaw ripped off and both of them were properly torn into. Bolt managed to get her down onto the sand and almost neutralized her, however, Jordan freed her hands and was able to rip one of his arms off. He got off of her and taking advantage of his surprise, she quickly grabbed his head and snapped his neck leaving him to fall onto the sand unresponsive. The only responsive vampire left was Vitkor, he was still bleeding out on the ground and watched her every move. He was incapable of speaking due to his wound, Jordan only watched him with hollow eyes and spoke. 

“You wanted to be with me forever, but now you lost your chance.” For good measure she retrieved the stake from Xavier’s chest and brought it over to Victor. She drove into his chest and then without dwelling too hard on what she did, she left the scene and ran down the beach with a heavy new undead heart.

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Everyone at the camp was left in either surprise, shock, and a twinge of fear. No one spoke for a few minutes, taking time to process what she had just revealed to them. David was surprised that she had managed such a feat of killing her whole coven with just her unadulterated rage. The other boys were shocked but also not too surprised considering that she was able to rip Dwayne’s arm clean off. Michael and Star were also somewhat shocked because they never expected someone as meek as her to be so dangerous. Laddie was snoring away softly on Dwayne’s chest and was the only person who didn’t hear the ordeal.

“So you killed your whole coven…impressive.” David watched her with his icy gaze.

“Impressive? The hell are you on about?” Jordan was confused.

“C’mon, killing five vampires alone is not an easy thing to do! Especially someone like you, that’s what anyone would call impressive.” Paul supported David’s statement and egged her on with enthusiasm.

“So what if it was impressive? I could care less how cool it might’ve been. That was one of the worst nights of my life.” Jordan leaned back into Marko and sighed, continuing on with her tale.

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She never looked back as she ran, the boardwalk was still deserted when she got back to it. She mounted her bike and immediately went home, praying that nobody would see her bloody appearance. She got home rather quickly and dumped her bike aside and ran to the front door. But before she could open it, she faltered. Her parents were no doubt gonna be waiting for her, and she didn’t want them to see her like this. So she ran to the back of the house and found the doors leading into the basement and broke the solid metal lock in order to get inside. Even though there weren't any light sources to be seen inside, she could still see everything inside. Mainly old dusty boxes and items that belonged to her grandparents. She closed the doors behind her and haphazardly went down the steps and into the heart of the basement. A linear path led from the back entrance to a door leading into the house. She walked down the path and accidentally tripped on a lamp cord making a loud ruckus inside.

After settling everything down, she heard footsteps approaching the door inside the house. The door opened up and a light shined in Jordan’s face making her cringed. She saw her father shining a flashlight onto her face, his face agape with the shocking image of her daughter covered in blood.

“Jordan…what happened to you?” Harold made no move to leave or get closer and stayed where he was. Soon, Jane came over to see what was going on and was equally shocked if not more.

“I don’t wanna talk about it, just leave me here.” Jordan pulled into the shadows concealing herself.

“If you don’t talk about it, we can’t help you. Talk to us, Jordan.” Her father’s tone was calm and collected, he really just wanted answers more than anything. 

Jane got over her initial shock and tried remaining calm, she moved down the steps and into the basement to try and talk to her daughter.

“Jordan, we aren’t gonna hurt you. We just want to know what’s going on, I promise we won’t get mad.” She took a few steps into the basement but stayed within the light coming from the house.

While Jordan didn’t quite budge at first, he took a minute to think. Her parents cared about her a lot so she believed they would show some understanding. But on the other hand, she never told them about her boyfriend’s affliction of being a vampire. She decided there was no reason to hide it any longer, her life was over anyways.

She peeked from her spot behind some boxes, “You promise you won’t get mad?”.

“Cross our hearts.”

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“Man, your parents are saints compared to mine. My dad kicked me out for being gay…” Paul chimed in.

“Wasn’t it also because of drugs?” Dwayne countered.

“Well that too, but mainly for being gay.”

Jordan shook her head at his comment, Star looked at Jordan curiously.

“Your parents seemed to take you being a vampire rather well considering you still live with them now.”

“Yeah, it surprised me though. I mean, I never told them a damn thing about this vampire business and yet they totally took it better than I ever could’ve expected. I thought my dad was gonna take me out back and put me out of this misery.” Marko squeezed Jordan tight in his arms.

“If he would’ve done that, I would’ve killed him.” Jordan only laughed at his statement.

“You didn’t even know me at that time.” She looked back at him and he only nuzzled into her.

“But we’re practically soulmates, he would’ve been destined to die by my hands one way or another if he took you away from me.”

Jordan made a mental note to tell her father about what Marko said.

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Sitting at the dining table, the family all sat in silence. Jordan had gone at length to explain everything that had happened, her parents were admittedly peeved a bit at the fact their daughter never elaborated on anything before. But the damage had been done and now her parents were at a loss, they weren’t quite sure where to go from here. Jordan made no move to sway their minds in any way, she just sat and waited to see what they would say.

“Jordan, you know we love you right?” Jane spoke first, Jordan still refused to even look in their direction.

Jordan nodded wordlessly.

“Even though we aren’t thrilled about what’s happening, we don’t want you to shoulder this alone. You understand?” She reached out a hand towards her daughter as a sign of affection.

“Why, I’m a killer now.” Jordan stared off into space blankly.

“Why? Because you’re our god damn daughter, that’s why. That no good piece of shit tried to take you away from me and I’m not letting him succeed whether he’s dead or not. If him being a vampire didn’t bother you at all, there ain’t no reason that you being a vampire should bother us as well.” Harold spoke firmly, he genuinely wanted the best from his daughter. 

He was definitely peeved by the situation but he wasn’t going to give Viktor the satisfaction of letting the vampirism drive his daughter away. Jordan finally looked at her parents and looked surprised, of all the outcomes she expected, this wasn’t one of them.

“Really, even though I’m a vampire?”

“We never gave up on you before, we aren’t going to do it now. Vampire or not.” Jane spoke warmly.

Jordan had no words to express her relief and gratitude she had been granted. She outstretched her hand and grabbed a hold of her mother’s already stretched out hand. It wasn’t going to be the easiest transition, but it was one she was willing to put herself through if it meant she could still live a somewhat normal life.

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“So through 1987, I spent that time adjusting to this new life I still live now. We worked on moving my stuff into the basement and all the stuff from the basement into my original room. I changed my appearance as well, and vowed to try to only kill those who deserve death.”

With that, Jordan had finished her story and left the others processing what she had said. Paul decided to applaud her finishing the story and was feigning tears as if he was moved by the story.

“Bravo! That was a beautiful story, thank you for sharing. Is that the whole story, Ms.Jordan?” He moved over to Jordan and Marko’s spot leaning onto both of them in interest.

“I have some stories, but I’ll save those for later.” David then stood up from his spot and spoke.

“Good call, the sun will be up soon. We should all get some shut eye before we burn.” 

And with that, everyone got up to get going. Dwayne handed off a sleeping Laddie to Michael and Star and the boys all retreated to their bikes. Jordan hopped on her bike and watched as Marko joined her on his own, he started making a habit of taking her home even without her asking.

“Goodnight, love birds!” Paul called out to the two as they drove off.

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Jordan arrived home pretty quickly and was mentally exhausted yet satisfied, she weirdly felt a weight lift off of her shoulders. She was happy she didn’t have to keep this secret around her friends and felt somewhat free now. She climbed off her bike and Marko did the same, Marko seemed a bit bothered by something though. His face was rather peeved and he was biting his thumb, a trademark for a bothered or thoughtful Marko.

“What’s up Marko, you look bothered.” She walked up to him grabbing his large hand on her own.

“I keep thinking about that guy you were talking about in your story, Viktor.”

“What about him, he’s not around anymore? And I say good riddance.” She watched as he furrowed his brow, still thoughtful.

“I just want to pummel the lights out of him for what he did. Tried to make you his mate, but he didn’t fucking deserve you.” Marko pulled her close and held her possessively which caught Jordan off guard. 

“You don’t have to worry about it, I’m yours now. Even if you can be a true shithead sometimes, at least you're honest about it.” Marko pushed her away to look at her, then he looked at the rising sun and thought for a moment. Without warning, he lifted Jordan over his shoulder and walked towards the door going into her house.

“Hey! What are you doing?” She watched as he snatched her house keys and opened the door.

“You said it yourself, you belong to me. So you aren’t gonna sleep alone tonight, maybe we can…make that official.” He wiggled his eyebrows at Jordan who caught onto what he meant and she immediately started trying to wiggle out of his grip to no avail.

“Like hell we are doing that now!” Jordan protested, but Marko made his way into her room and threw her onto the bed climbing on top of her cuddling into her and purring.

“I’m joking, but if you ever want all of me, just say the word and I’ll be there.” Jordan turned over and laid face to face with him purring back at him.

“I’ll take that into consideration, but I’m too tired right now.” It didn’t take the two very long before they both fell into their day sleep while holding each other in their arms. Bixby soon found his way onto the bed and slept at the foot of the bed with them.

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[silverhandy]

Verbatim

read on ao3!

Summary:  Having climbed all the way up from Heywood’s slums to Miyabi, one of the most high end casinos in Night City, Santiago "Sanny" Garcia thought himself a lucky man, right until the point when his employer, an Arasaka board member with a gambling business on the side, caught him stealing and offered an impossible ultimatum. Forced to pay off his debt or die trying, Sanny has to renew some old friendships and form some new ones to keep himself afloat.

On top of everything, when his cyberware starts malfunctioning, there’s only one person on his long contact list that he can call.

“Where’s your Trauma platinum when you need it, pendejo?”

“Kicking a man when he’s down? Never expected that from you” Sanny groaned, burying his face in a pillow. He’d give anything for the world to stop spinning, just for a second. Faced with a heavy silence, he cracked one eye open to see Maria’s disgruntled expression on the holo. “It got revoked, okay? I’m literally begging here.”

“You're not,” she replied, the frown still not leaving her face. Sanny could swear at least some part of her was enjoying it. “At least not yet.”

“C’mon, hermana. I’m-” before he could finish that sentence, he was cut off by another wave of nausea strong arming its way through him. He barely had the chance to haul himself over the edge of the bed to vomit into the bucket he put there, anything to avoid ruining his ridiculously expensive, silk sheets.

Sanny could practically feel Maria’s judging stare on him as she got a front row seat on her brother puking his brains out. He understood her, in a way - their last conversation wasn’t exactly a pleasant one. Maybe he went a little overboard with his bragging. Still, she was his only sibling that still kept in touch with him, all the rest a step away from declaring him a total stranger.

As he wiped his mouth, desperate to get rid of the bitter taste of bile, he entertained the thought of apologizing to her. Was that his new low? At the mercy of his older sister? Certainly not a position he thought he’d find himself in, not after he decided to say goodbye to Heywood for good. She had every right to resent him just as the rest of the family did, but despite it all, they still kept in contact. A sporadic, passive aggressive contact, but a contact nevertheless.

She let out a heavy sigh. “Fine. You’re lucky my day freed up, otherwise you’d have to call some other sorry fucker. Text me the address, I’ll be there in an hour, maybe two.”

“Two hours? You for real?”

“Don’t push your luck, Santiago.”

                                                              ***

“That ripperdoc of yours, how reliable is he?”

“He knows his stuff. Just bear in mind he doesn’t usually take on corpos.”

“Not a corpo.” Sanny mumbled, resting his forehead on the cold glass of the passenger's window.

“You sure as hell look like one” she replied, not taking her eyes off the road.

“When in Rome, do as Romans do…”

The car hit a bump, making Sanny smack his head against the glass. An explosion of pain followed as an array of angrily white stars danced in front of his vision, sprinkled with not less alarming system failure warnings. If he didn’t know better, he’d say Maria did that on purpose, but she wasn’t responsible for the state of the neighborhood's roads. Not directly, at least.

“We’re here.” Maria’s voice snapped him out of his stupor. Some time must’ve passed because when he opened his eyes they were parked on the edge of a wide, busy street, various shops, and nightclubs drawing customers in with their loud neons and whatever else they had to offer. Luckily for Sanny, they didn’t have to walk all the way through it, loud sounds and aggressively bright lights coming at him from all directions, mercilessly aggravating his headache before they turned the corner and walked through the gate leading to a small, crumpled backyard. Maria led him down another set of stairs to an unlabeled basement, one of those places you needed to know were there to find them.

“Hey Vik!'' she said as she passed the gate to the underground clinic, walking in as if she owned the place. Sanny followed behind, his usual confidence shrinking. If what Maria said was true, there was a real chance that the ripperdoc would turn him away and he doubted he had the resolve to drag himself to another one. Suddenly Fukuzawa’s offer of a bullet to the head seemed much more appealing.

When the ripperdoc turned his head towards them, a warm smile appeared on his face as his eyes landed on Maria. Tossing the screwdriver he’d been holding aside, he got up to greet her, though Sanny could tell he was eyeing him over her shoulder as well. He couldn’t blame him - he probably looked like a breathing trainwreck.

“Hey, good to see you.” the ripper said to Maria. “So you must be Sanny?” he asked, suddenly shifting his attention to the younger man, extending a muscular arm towards him. The ripper was built like a fucking truck and Mal could feel his mouth go dry, and only partially because he must be severely dehydrated at this point. Suddenly regretting that he didn’t at least take a shower before Maria came to pick him up, he took a step forward to shake the man’s hand.

“That’s me.” Sanny smiled nervously, his paled face twitching with the effort.

“Viktor Vector’s the name. Heard a lot about you.”

“Oh yeah?” Sanny could hear his voice cracking, mind racing at all the things Maria could possibly say about him while in her ripper’s chair. There were many and only a few made Sanny proud of himself.

“I’ll leave you boys to chat. Don’t want no part in this.” Maria said, a crooked smile on her face. “I’ll wait in the car. Vik, feel free to add this to my tab.”

“Sure thing, sweetheart.”

And just like that, she left him there. Great.

“Alright, let’s get you seated, don’t want you to crack your head open if you fall.” Sanny heard Viktor say. Too busy trying to keep down the few sips of water he got before leaving the apartment, he didn’t even notice how his silhouette started to sway to the side, only stopped by the ripperdoc’s strong arm on his shoulder, steadying him and gently ushering him in the direction of the chair.

Looking back, the whole thing couldn’t have happened to him at a worse time, shortly after he got dropped from the Trauma Team health plan, his regular ripper bidding him farewell with an apologetic smile, even taking a step further to wish him luck. So much for the Hippocratic oath. Sanny watched silently as Viktor kicked himself a chair and sat down to fire up the monitors, typing away at the beat up keyboard until eventually, he reached out a hand.

“Your personal link, please.”

“‘f course” Sunny mumbled, handing him the cable and watching as the doc jacked it into the port, on the first try even. Must be the practice, Sanny thought and allowed his head to rest on the headboard, the blue leather cracking slightly as Viktor started running diagnostics on his cyberware.

“That’s an impressive set you got there”

If he wasn’t feeling so damn miserable, he'd smirk. Impressive was an understatement, with his array of the state of the art cyberware, from behavioral boosters to those refining his fine motor skills to a point he was practically a magician with a deck of cards. Or a lockpick, but he was yet to get desperate enough to give that career path a try.

“My job has its perks.”

“You a croupier at Miyabi?” it seemed that Viktor was rather keen on small talk, a quality that Sanny didn’t quite share, but hesitantly welcomed.

“Figured it out from my tech or did my sister tell you?”

“Bit of both, I suppose.”

Jacked and insightful. What more could Sanny possibly want?  Then again, it wasn’t a time in his life for romantic pursuits, both this specific moment, lying sick on the ripperdoc’s chair and in a broader sense, when he had a figurative gun to his head, a literal one soon to follow if he doesn’t resolve the mess he got himself into.

“Other than dizziness, anything else bothering you?

“Uh,” Sanny turned his head to look at the other man. There were many things bothering him and most had little to do with his current physical condition. “I haven't been able to keep anything down for a few days now. Not even the damn pills for the headache. Running self diagnostics didn’t spit out anything useful either.”

Viktor’s brows furrowed as he shot the younger man a glance from behind his shades. Disapproval? Concern?

“It’s been this bad and you’re only now seeing a ripper?”

“Maria told you where I work but didn’t share why I’m visiting a back alley doctor? How considerate.”

“You guys don’t get along too well, huh?” Sanny frowned at the direction this conversation was going, but there was nothing he could do but enjoy the ride.

“It’s...an on and off thing between us.” he just mumbled, desperate to avoid Viktor’s gaze. Lucky for Sanny, the ripper’s attention seemed to be entirely on the monitors in front of him.

“Just remember, kid,” Viktor said, finally turning to look at Sanny’s face. “she cares about you a lot. Wouldn’t bring you here if she didn’t.”

Sanny just hummed in response. Deep down, he knew the ripper was right, but the whole exchange only made him even more curious about what exactly Maria had been saying about him. It couldn’t be half as bad as he thought he deserved because not only had Viktor not kicked him out of the chair, but was even nice to him. Go figure.

“Alright then,” Viktor said, unplugging the younger man’s personal link. “had to do some cleaning in your CPU, you should be up and running in a few hours. Take this before going to bed for the night,” a strip of pills was placed in his hand “and in the future, watch what you plug your personal link into. I know you guys working in high end casinos get a fancy firewall as part of the package, but it’s not foolproof.

“It sure ain’t, doc. Thanks for the advice,” Sanny smiled, motioning to get up from the chair. “and everything else.”

Whatever Viktor did, the effect was immediate; the clinic was no longer swaying and his stomach didn’t threaten to twist itself inside out every time he moved his head. He still felt like he was experiencing a crescendo of the worst hangover of his life, but it was nothing that couldn’t be managed with a shower and a fresh change of clothes. Who knows, he might even get bold and eat something, though he still wasn’t sure about that one.

“Don’t mention it, I don’t often get the chance to tinker with Miyabi tech. And if you’re open to some more pieces of advice, you should be thanking your sister, not me.”

“I’ll make sure to do just that.”

“Should you run into more trouble with software, my clinic’s always open. I’ll send you the number, so don’t hesitate to give me a call.”

Did he just…? No fucking way, Sanny thought as he walked up the stairs, leaving the clinic behind.

                                                            ***

“So...how’re the Valentinos treatin’ you?”

“Actually, I…puta madre!” she shouted, blasting her hand against the car’s horn as she slammed the brakes to make her disdain loud and clear to the driver who tried to cut her off at the intersection. A litany of insults from the would-be culprit followed, another sound in a cacophony of Heywood’s streets. Maria shook her head, dark locks of her hair shaking with the movement like a swarm of angry bees. “I left.”

“And here I was thinking the position of the family’s black sheep was already taken.”

“Don’t ever think you’re the special one just because you shuffle cards for the big guys.”

“Oh, I could never. So what do you do now?”

“Independent. It took a while, but a friend got me hooked up with some reliable fixers.”

“A “friend”? Don’t tell me that on top of everything, you got yourself a man. Or a woman?”

Maria shot him a warning glare. “It’s nothing like that. Jackie just helped me get back on my feet, introduced me to some people. I’ve been fending for myself since then.”

“And how’s that working out for you?”

“Way better than for you. The hell did you do to piss off your corporate overlords?”

“All I can say for now is that you can leave Heywood, but Heywood never leaves you. Took one too many risks and all it did was land me before the one and only Akio Fukuzawa, who apparently doesn’t take kindly to humbled employees when his eddies are missing.”

“And yet here you are, still alive.”

“What can I say? I’m a charming guy.”

They spent the rest of the car ride in silence, Maria’s eyes fixed on the road, maroon painted nails tapping on the steering wheel in the rhythm of whatever was playing on the radio while Sanny pretended to be mesmerized by whatever they were passing on their way, in reality pulling up his comms interface to scroll through all the text messages he sent to fixers before the damn virus made it impossible to see straight. Almost all of them were left on read and unanswered. Sanny presumed they were bound to remain so. He didn’t have the reputation necessary to land any of the bigger contracts and no time to build it up before Fukuzawa’s minions showed up on his doorstep.

They parked in front of his building, mere centimeters away from bumping into a lampost. Sanny choked down a sigh. There was no escaping it now.

“Thanks, hermana. I owe you one,” he uttered, motioning to get out of the car. Just as he pushed the door open, his comms chimed with a text message from an unknown number. Getting out of the car, he waved to dismiss it, thinking it must be another of those spam chains that’d been flooding his inbox from time to time, but froze halfway through when his eyes landed on the text. The contract was vague on details, but the reward was crystal clear. Sanny could almost feel his jaw dropping as he looked at the impressive number of zeros that followed the first digit. It should be enough. More than enough to pay Fukuzawa off, even if, as per the fixer’s demand, he’ll have to cut the amount in half and share with a partner. He was so dumbfounded he didn’t hear Maria’s reply, or if she replied at all, but when he turned back one last time, she was eying him from head to toe suspiciously. Then she just shook her head slightly as if shushing away a thought.

“And Sanny?” she said, rolling down her window and shooting him a glare from behind her shades. “don’t you dare fuck my ripperdoc.”

[zwiezraczek]

What somebody like you is doing in a place like this ? // Otayuri

   It wasn’t a pure coincidence that Yuri was working in Nikiforov’s mafia, his angelic face was his pass for every event, his golden hair shining in the dark and smelling like lilacs, and above all the smile for which everyone could die for ; he wasn’t what he seemed to be and that’s why Viktor was lucky to have him by his side. His godfather was the biggest mafioso in Russia, remaining this ancestral tradition between palaces, drugs, art traffic, jewelry… And Yuri was so good at art traffic and robbing jewelry. His tiny hands were always filled with shining objects, his neck was orned with majestuous necklaces and diamonds that his pink fake fur was revealing with a sensual touch, his long black dress was giving him this duchesse’s allure, while his hair was attached with a glamorous hair clip : he always wanted to wear dresses and black high heels, and now he was allowed to do so. While having a flute of champagne in his hand, he got closer to the painting, worth at least five dresses from a grand couturier he whispered to himself while wetting his lips with the alcohol. It was worth it, and he was able to do so. While tasting champagne, he felt someone walking just into him, spreading the liquid on his perfect dress, suka sine, as he rose his head to see the one who ruined his perfect evening. He couldn’t see his eyes through the glasses he wore but he knew he was gazing at him with surprise -they were everytime when the heard his voice : you are a man ? No, a fucking rabbit, dickhead-, Yuri could have kille with his eyes, he was ready to make him pay for the dress, for the painting, for the champagne, for every-fucking-thing. I’m sorry, sir, he heard saying from his lips, with a scratchy voice with a smilira accent to his. I should have looked where I was going. - Yeah, you should, Yuri answered waving his hands to let fell the drops of alcohol. You know how much this dress cost ? - Do you want some help with this, he asked politely, taking off his glasses and placing them on his shirt and then Yuri could see his eyes, two black holes that somehow he wanted to explore for no reason at all. - It’s ok, gonna take care of that alone, he answered, crossing his arms, one feet on the broken glass in front of him -perfect, now all the attention was on them ! Perfect for some robbery.-. - Excuse me again, said the other with a sorry smile and continued then : I swear I’ve seen your face before… Do you come here much ? - Impossible, Yuri said panick striken somehow, never showing it, batting his eyelashes like curtains to his eyes. First time here. And he turned his back to this man, puting a foot in front of the other quickly to the toilets where he started to rinse out the material, looking at his pale and perfect face in the mirror : where in the world this man could have seen him ?    Italian hotels were Yuri’s favorites, it was his week off and his godfather offered him a week-end in Italia because he has done a beautifule job the previous time in this museum, with this huge painting. He had his legs crossed, sitting in the beautiful green garden, flowers all around him, sipping some delicious tea, while the soft breeze was moving his savage hair ; his red nails caught one of his locks escapping from his messy bun. A sun ray flirted with his cheek, and his green eyes layed upon one man, he knew he already saw him, somewhere. He put his hand under his chin, looking carefully at him : it was him. The one who ruined his dress on that night, saying he already saw him ; an old lady was showing her friend her beautiful collar worth the world, given by her hausband the last week-end, shining like a constellation, a red one, and laughing so much while drinking some tea with the other grey one. Yuri could only roll his eyes : if he wasn’t here to chill he would rob this old one, throwing her money down the drain, talking about it with thoughtlessness… He hated that. Then, the man sat in front of him, taking of his glasses and looking him right in the eyes, as if he was trying to figure out something that was written on the blonde’s face. - Excuse me but, he started. - Yeah, excuse you, Yuri interrupted. I don’t know if you see, but this table is mine so : how about going somewhere else, huh ; his voice was sarcastic. And, by the way, what somebody like you is doing in a place like this, he asked to look at his outfit, a simple black leather jacket, black jeans and black glasses, Yuri could swear that he was a goth or something alike. - … Can you just let me sit here, since I’m aware of who you are, he asked whispering and putting his face closer to his from the other side of the table. - What the fuck are you saying, Yuri could feel angst gaining him slowly, the one that could make him wreack something -like the little porcelain cup he was holding in his hand-. Leave, now. - I know you’re in Nikiforov’s mafia, he announced as Yuri just coughed hardly, he never felt more surprized about what he heard -how the fuck he knew that ?- Relax, I’m not going to report you, I’m on the same side, he finally revealed ; more or less on the same side… Just, let me sit there until the old lady returns into her room to leave her collar. Yuri had a good eye though, he sighed and took another sip of his tea ; whatever, this guy knew him : what else he could do ? Kill him ? In fact, he could but he didn’t want to for the moment. While placing his cup on the little porcelain basis, he looked careful. His black hair was perfectly shining and stuck on his head, like in those movies in the sixties with bikers, his skin was much more darker that Yuri’s -it wasn’t hard, he was as white as the russian snow-, somehow like a delicate capuccino in the morning, steaming in the light, perfect skin. He could swear that he had the sam accent that him, but brighter and softer ; the man began to play with a knife in front of him, the little knife that they borrow you in hotels for breakfast -but here they were made of silver, shining to drive you blind- and it’s when Yuri saw the golden ring on his index, the most massive he saw, with a huge « A » on it, and then he knew. - Altin’s mafia, huh ; he purred as he smirked, finally finding out where he belonged to. - Obvious with this ring, right, the other answered looking at him while turning around, stoic face ; thank you for the cover and I hope we will meet again soon. Maybe sooner, Altin.    Heels slamming on the wet asphalt, wearing black glasses Yuri was happy as never ; he finally did it : stealing the golden egg, he didn’t care about the name, he only knew that the shit was worthing mountains of bucks and that made him happy. All in black, in his trench coat he was smirking, thinking about what he could do with all the money -maybe a Prada dress ? Louboutins ? Make-up?- ; blue and red, lights, sirens and he turned around while the car just rushed near him, his emerald eyes followed them and two policemen came, holding guns, pointing them at a car from which came the Altin man, hands in the air, saying inaudible things, hands behind his neck as the two cops were inspecting his car : bad, really bad. From where he was looking, they seemed to find something really interesting, and so they took him into their car, driving him home while the man from which Yuri just robbed the damn egg followed them. Menya eto zaebalo, he murmured while looking into his purse, seeing the shining bundle of a billion bucks. The fucker really had to thank him later. Standing in front of the police station, arms crossed on his chest, waiting for the other to come out from there ; leaning on a stoplight that gave him this angelic halo in the sweet rainy night, he saw the boy showing himself, putting his jacket on his perfect hair, looking left and right, as if he was afraid of getting caught again. - Hey, Yuri screamed as the other just saw him, you owe me a big one. - True, the other said, coming nearer and smiling a bit. What can I do for you then ? - New black dress, not a big deal, the blonde said with a smirk. But above all, a dinner, I’m starving as fuck. - And then, the other asked, being closer to him, actually reaching his waist with his hand as Yuri just purred a bit. - That’s actually your turn to propose something, he said and pressed his lips against his. Yuri Plisetsky. A pleasure. - Otabek Altin, a pleasure too. 

[While listening to  If we ever meet again by Katy Perry I couldn’t resist to write this haha I hope you enjoy it!]

[regular-lord-reckoner]

We Need to Talk About Kevin, I Mean Otayuri

Alright, so let’s talk about Otayuri, age of consent, pedophilia, and abusive relationships for a minute. (This is gonna get long, but please bear with me)

So, like most issues that exist, you’ve got people on at least two pretty distinct sides (and a bunch that fall somewhere in the middle).

There are those who feel like the shipping of these two is absolutely, completely wrong for a variety of reasons and those who feel like the shipping of these two is absolutely, completely a-okay for a variety of reasons.

So, let’s talk about some of those and I’ll share with you my perspective on the situation, shall we?

Obviously one of the biggest issues that comes up is the age of consent. When talking about these characters in particular it becomes a little tricky because they both come from different countries and the show itself is Japanese.

According to a little research, the age of consent for both Russia and Kazakhstan is 16. For Japan it’s 13 (which…yikes on bikes).

Now, this becomes important because there’s a lot of speculation about how to view the ages of both characters.

In terms of where the show itself has left off, where season one ended, Yuri was still 15. His birthday is at the beginning of March and so it’s assumed that unless the show decides to go back in time, if/when we get a season 2 he’ll be 16 (although if the show picks up literally where it left off he’s probably still 15 and I’d guess maybe two months out from 16? It’s hard to tell. Yuuri’s hair has gotten longer in the last shot, so we know at least some time has passed since December, but it’s unclear how much. Chances are, though, being that the show itself took place in essentially real time, by the time a second season is out we’ll have passed that point and hell, Yuri may even be 17 by the time we get another season, who knows.) 

Otabek’s age is a little more unclear. Several times in the show his age is listed as 18 until towards the end of the season where Celestino says he’s 19. Otabek’s birthday is at the end of October and although a great deal of time passes from the beginning of the season to the end (Yuuri mentions something along the lines of “I can’t believe it’s already been 8 months…”) during Viktor’s narration which takes place in December he says Otabek is 18, so we didn’t pick up another birthday for him, therefore I’m more inclined to think he’s actually 18 and that Celestino was just mistaken or perhaps it was an accident on behalf of one of the writers.

But so essentially we’re dealing with a 15/16 year old and an 18/possibly 19 year old.

Now, first off something I’ve noticed from the opposed side is that they tend to cite American laws of consent, but there is an issue there and that is that American laws of consent are not the same across the board, but rather determined by state.

In the US, consent is set anywhere from 16 to 18 years of age with the most common being 16 years of age. Obviously then this makes it hard trying to apply American law to this situation because neither character lives in America and therefore we can’t say, “Oh, well Otabek is from New York, so the age of consent for him would be 17!”

That being the case, I think it’s more appropriate to use their own countries as what we hold them to in legal terms, because different countries have different ideas and laws about other behaviors as well that are considered “for adults only” such as drinking, driving, voting, buying cigarettes, renting a car, etc., etc.

So, as it would stand right now, if we’re to take the view of Yuri still being 15 because that’s where the show left him, then yes, a relationship between he and Otabek would not be okay in either country as he is under the age of consent.

By the time the show comes back, though (and lord I hope it does) Yuri will likely be 16 and therefore legally able to consent.

Now listen…I don’t like the idea of a 16 year old having sex as much as the next guy. I think that’s too young, I think that age is too immature to really handle something like that, but I teach sex ed to middle and high schoolers and I know better. They’re doing it.

Fortunately, last I checked (and this is American statistics but still) only like 47% of high schoolers are sexually active, which is less than half. And if I’m not mistaken, I think it’s actually lower than that now, so that’s somewhat good news!

Also, teen pregnancy rates have been on the decline over the past few decades, although they’re still not great they are going down. Unfortunately, however, teen STD rates are going up.

Of the 20 million new STD cases reported each year, about half are from young people ages 15-24. 

So, whether we like it or not, these little fuckers are out here boning down on each other and they’re not being particularly careful about it either, which is discouraging, but part of why I do what I do.

Unfortunately, however, in the state in which I work there are very strict laws about sex education, specifically that we’re to promote abstinence emphatically and exclusively and that we cannot promote the use of contraceptives and birth control and may only give medically accurate information about such if a student asks a question about them in good faith (which means they don’t ask just to get a rise out of me or the class).

These laws are born, I think, out of this mindset that a lot of adults have that sex isn’t for teens and therefore they should only be given the bare minimum amount of information, lest you inadvertently encourage them to become sexually active. (This mindset, btw, is also what I believe drives adults to deny kids and teens the validity of their gender identity and sexual orientations, although the situations are not quite the same the underlying idea of a teenager being too young/too immature to be able to handle/know about certain things is of the same thread.) 

And again, like…in some part I agree. I teach these kids, I see how a lot of them still can’t handle having a mature conversation about puberty and am horrified every time one of says they think the “pull out method” is an effective way to prevent pregnancy (joke’s on you, kid, it’s actually the way most teens end up getting pregnant!)

If I had it my way, I’d give these kids some coloring books and juice boxes and sit their asses in front of cartoons all day long because the older you get, the more people younger than you look like infants. Hell, even by my senior year of high school I was looking at freshman thinking, “You’re just babies, what are you doing here??? Who let you out of daycare?!?!?”

I also had a 15 year old insist to me that her personality is going to stay the same for the rest of her life and that she’s pretty much already matured as much as she’s ever going to and I just…I hated to be “that adult” but I had to gently point out to her that while for the most part, yes, her personality may stay more or less the same that her brain hasn’t even finished growing.

You don’t reach full brain development until around your mid-twenties and one of the last things to fully develop is your prefrontal cortex area which is responsible for things like personality, decision-making, and impulse control. Y’know, things we tend to think of younger people struggling with.

That being said, I’m not one of these people that thinks teenagers are just sacks of jumbled hormones who can’t be trusted with any level of responsibility and who have no levels of maturity whatsoever. That’s certainly not true.

A lot of kids at that age slowly begin to take on responsibilities like learning how to drive, how to manage their own money, and maybe even have a part-time job, as well as already looking into higher education or which field of work they’d like to enter once they graduate.

Teenagers do possess a certain capacity for these things and so I’m not writing them off entirely, I’m just saying I can sympathize with those who look at them and think, “God, you’re so young, though, you shouldn’t be trusted with something so important…” because it’s hard not to look back at your own youth and think, “Wow, I really thought I had it all figured out then, but I didn’t know shit!”

(Then again, I still do assert that I was pretty mature for my age. While of course I wasn’t completely there, I was more mature than what you’d expect from a typical teenager, although perhaps I’m a little biased in saying so, who knows.)

So, okay, we’ve established that we understand why some people can’t fathom the thought of teens who are sexually active, I gotcha, I’m right there with ya. But again, I think we need to be realistic and come to terms with the fact that, like it or not, they are.

If at age 16 Yuri decides to become sexually active, I may not like it, but he will legally be able to consent and his behavior wouldn’t be some drastic deviation from the norm. If he were to live in America, he’d still be in that less than half percentage of those who are, but it’s still pretty close to half and therefore not really that unheard of.

From a legal standpoint, then, at age 16 there’s nothing technically wrong. He’s well within his rights at that point. At 15, no, but 16, yes.

Now, I see a lot of people from the in favor side who are very transparent about the fact that they wouldn’t ship Yuri and Otabek together until Yuri’s 16 anyway, some saying not even until he’s 18 or until they’re both in their twenties because they want these characters to have time to get to know one another as friends first and then perhaps something romantic will develop as time goes on. This is also in conjecture with the idea that just because two people are dating doesn’t automatically mean they’re having sex, and in fact, I’ve seen a lot of headcanons for both Yuri and Otabek that view them as being asexual, so there’s that as well.

One of the ways of thinking about their situation, therefore, is to put it in a realistic context and realize that age-wise, this is the equivalent of a sophomore and a senior in high school dating.

Another way of looking at it is that Otabek is eighteen. Teen. He’s still a teenager. He will remain a teenager until he’s twenty. Even though, at least in the US, he’d be allowed to vote and buy cigarettes, he’s still technically a teen, so we’re talking about two teenagers dating. And again, a 16 and 18 year old dating isn’t really that uncommon.

Now, here’s where I take issue with something. I see a lot of people on the opposed side calling Otabek a “grown ass man”. I…don’t know how many 18 year olds you know, but I would hardly classify them as “grown ass” individuals.

Here again, an 18 year old’s brain hasn’t even finished growing yet and although an 18 year old is likely to be a little more mature than a 16 year old, we’re not talking about drastic leaps and bounds in maturity the same way we would between someone who’s 12 and someone who’s 16.  

I think people use this terminology to support the idea that “Otayuri is pedophilia” in which by painting Otabek as a “grown ass man” and Yuri as “a literal child” it sounds a lot worse than what it really is which, again, if we don’t put these two together until Yuri’s 16 is a ~two year age gap. Hardly that scandalous and also not what pedophilia is, but I do on the other hand understand why it makes some people uncomfortable and that’s okay! (It’s not okay that you’re uncomfortable, but your feelings are valid, is what I’m saying)

I know a lot of people like to get real technical at this point in the argument and talk about pedophilia per definition, so let’s talk about that.

Merriam-Webster dictionary describes pedophilia as: sexual perversion in which children are the preferred sexual object; specifically: a psychological disorder in which an adult has sexual fantasies about or engages in sexual acts with a prepubescent child.

Therefore, a lot of people argue that using the term pedophilia isn’t exactly accurate because Yuri’s not really prepubescent. Now, from where I sit, I know the onset of puberty can begin anywhere from 9 to 16 years old, it depends on the person and typically “boys” are later than “girls”.

Yuri describes during the show how he knows he has a short window before his body begins to change, which prompts some to think that perhaps he hasn’t begun puberty yet. This one’s difficult, because it’s not likely we’re going to get a solid answer on, “Hey, when will/did Yuri start puberty?”

He’s on the shorter side right now (5’4) and it’s hard to tell with an animated character how defined his features really are, although he does appear to have some muscle tonnage in spite of his skinny physique so that tells me he’s at least experiencing some puberty, also the fact that his voice is on the deeper side and he doesn’t appear to have any vocal cracking going on. (Although how far you can really throw that one considering the flashback of him at like…what, 10 or 12 has him with the same voice so…Idk)

Being that it’s somewhat murky then whether or not he’s started puberty, I can see where semantically you could use the definition of pedophilia to either condemn of excuse your stance.

In terms of age-wise, though, typically anyone under the age of 13 would be considered a child and an attraction to a teenager would be more along the lines of either hebephilia or ephebophilia.

However, I don’t really think we need to get into semantics to understand what a person is trying to say when they say, “I don’t support this ship because I think it’s pedophilia”. What they mean is that they’re uncomfortable with someone who’s a legal adult being with someone who isn’t quite there yet. And again, that’s understandable if that makes you uncomfortable and I’m not going to tell you to shut up or feel a different way.

I do, however, take issue with the fact that I feel like some of the discourse surrounding issues of pedophilia takes on a stance that essentially borders on the idea of: if two 17 year olds date they have to break up as soon as one of them turns 18 because that’s just wrong!!!!! That’s…kind of extreme, in my opinion and misses the point.

But we’ll talk more about pedophilia in just a second, I want to move on to my next point.

So, from the opposed side we have the argument of, “Even if Yuri is of legal age of consent by the time he starts dating Otabek, it would be an abusive relationship because of the power imbalance brought on by their age gap and therefore I cannot support it.”

So this one is…pretty messy, honestly.

I realize that a lot of this comes from people who, themselves, have been in abusive relationships in which an age gap similar to or greater than this one was present and therefore it’s hard for them to sign off on this relationship because it echoes too much of their own experience.

And so first off out the gate I want to say I’m sorry that happened to you. I’m sorry if you’re one of those people, you didn’t deserve the abuse your endured and I hate it for you that you had this god awful experience.

I would, however, encourage you to both realize that your experiences are not universal and to also be critical of how the age gap played a factor.

So, let’s talk about it.

First and foremost, like I said, this is not a universal experience. Although there are a lot of people who are in age gap relationships who end up being abused, there are just as many people who have been in age gap relationships that were healthy.

This is where I urge you to be critical of the age gap itself and realize that the age gap on its own doesn’t make for an abusive relationship.

This is where the defense side chimes in with the notion that if it were true that all age gaps are inherently abusive then wouldn’t Viktor and Yuuri’s relationship be abusive as they have a ~4 year age gap?

The obvious answer is no, it’s not unhealthy for them.

So part of the problem is specifically with the fact that Otabek is a legal adult whereas Yuri is not. Now there again, I see where you’re coming from and I have absolutely no problem if you can’t get behind it on those grounds alone.

However, again, I don’t think there’s really that drastic of a leap between 16 and 18 that would constitute this massive power imbalance that people seem to think would exist between the two.

The issue with older abusers is this: they’re still abusers no matter what age they date. If they dated someone their own age, guess what? They’d still be abusers. Their motivation in seeking someone younger than themselves may very well be because they think it would be easier to manipulate or influence them and sometimes that is the case, but here again, it’s not a feature that’s exclusive to all age gaps and not even ones wherein one person is a legal adult and the other is say 16 or 17.

We’ve all seen the warnings, especially to younger girls, about watching out for older guys who try to pick them up and I think that’s absolutely good advice and you should be wary as hell about that.

However, I’m not going to look at a 16 year old girl and an 18 year old guy and be like, “Mmm, abusive. He’s got power over her, he’s taking advantage.” That may be the case, but it may also not and I wouldn’t know just from looking at their age or the gap between them.

Now 15 and 18, yeah that gets pretty sketchy, I’m not comfortable with that. But 16 and 18? Call me naïve, but that seems somewhat negligible and really needs to be assessed on a case-by-case basis because while that situation may prove to be a perfect storm for an abusive relationship, it doesn’t necessitate one on that basis alone.

As a side note, while we’re on the subject of power imbalances I am curious as to how those opposed feel about the power imbalance between Yuuri and Viktor with Viktor acting as Yuuri’s coach. I’m not saying there necessarily is one or that it’s damaging, especially not in the same way teacher/student, doctor/patient, or employer/employee is, but one could argue that their ship should immediately go in the trash because Viktor does have, albeit minimal, power over Yuuri. As their relationship plays out, I think they’ve actually struck a healthy balance between the two of them, but since we’re looking at his from a purely black and white standpoint in which X is always wrong, no matter the circumstances, then I think we need to apply that same logic to the ships we do love as well for the sake of fairness.

But back to the point, in terms of the age gap between them playing a factor into why these two shouldn’t be together, on the one hand I perfectly understand why it makes some people uncomfortable and why they can’t support it and you have my full support in avoiding what makes you uncomfortable. However, on the other hand, I don’t think it’s fair for someone to use their personal experience to try to generalize and make rules for what should and shouldn’t be allowed.

My parents have a 17 year age gap between them. They met when my mom was in her twenties, so nothing is illegal about their relationship, but my dad does have some years on her. However, in terms of their relationship they see and treat each other as equals (although if I’m honest I kinda think Mom more so “wears the pants”, so to speak but shhh).

I’m also witnessing a relative of mine who’s in her early twenties who’s dating a man who is…older than her own mother, so that’s…a thing. And although I don’t know all the ins and outs of their relationship, I am seeing a lot of stuff from her side in which she’s being abusive towards him. She constantly guilts him over certain behaviors, posting dozens of statuses each day that allude to her hurt feelings any time he doesn’t immediately text her back or drop everything to spend time with her. She also employs a lot of the rhetoric of “no one will ever love you as much as I do, so you can go out there and try to find something better, but you never will!” which is like…textbook abuser language.

But she’s younger! She shouldn’t be able to do that, right? Well, she is. She most certainly is and so here again I say, an age gap just on its face doesn’t automatically constitute for an abusive relationship in which the older person takes advantage of and abuses the younger person. While that does sometimes happen and while that may be the motivation of the abuser to find someone younger in order to more easily take advantage, it’s not fair to generalize that behavior to any and all age gap relationships, including those between legal adults and minors (provided that minor is at least at the age of consent because again, I too think it’s pretty ehhhhhhh when you get younger than that, also not to mention, y’know, ILLEGAL, so there’s that).

So, alright we’ve done a loooooot of talking about the hot button issues that come up in this heated debate and hopefully I was able to add a little more clarity to the situation? Perhaps not, but if nothing else this is my take on it and to be clear I’ll reiterate: As Yuri stands now, where canon left him, he is 15 years old and not legally able to consent to a relationship with Otabek who is 18 (possibly 19). Once the show picks back up, however, and Yuri is 16 then he will legally be able to consent to a relationship with Otabek. Whether or not that relationship will be sexual in nature is likely not going to be addressed in canon and left up to fan interpretation in which I know already a lot of people have already stated that even still they wouldn’t have these two start bumping uglies right out of the gate and that for some, they may never due to personal interpretations of their respective sexualities.

But so…here comes the next part and this is where we’re going to pick back up on pedophilia.

Regardless of whether or not these two end up actually getting together or not, regardless of whether or not you wait for Yuri to be 16…he’s still 16.

Now, if you yourself, as a fan, are also 16 then…I guess I can’t really stop you from thirsting over this character, but here is something I can toss your way: don’t create nsfw artwork or fan fiction involving this underage character.

Especially, ESPECIALLY, if you are an actual “grown ass adult”.

Just…stop it. Get some help. That shouldn’t have to be said.

The amount of people thirsting over Yuri’s “Welcome to the Madness” performance who are adults is, frankly, super disturbing. I put some of that blame on the studio itself for having his performance be as provocative as it was, but the audience itself should be able to police themselves into behaving and not going, “Oh wow, so sexy, so hot, wow wow wow!!!”

Being that this skate took place after the GPF, guess what? He’s 15. HE’S 15. YOU’RE SALIVATING OVER A 15 YEAR OLD, CONGRATS! 

I don’t care how much “older” he looks with makeup and his outfit. I don’t care if he had taken all his damn clothes off right then and there, you need to stop with that shit, stop sexualizing this underage character!!!

I get it, he’s not “real”, he’s an animated character, but works featuring him, as a minor, engaging in sexual acts or the sexualization of him (fictional or not) still contributes to a harmful culture that preys on children and adolescents.

Which, to my understanding, is a pretty big problem in Japan and I mean…again, their age of consent is 13. That…really doesn’t sit right with me. I know different cultures have different attitudes about things, but just knowing what I do of psychology, I don’t think a 13 year old can really understand the repercussions or have the maturity level to engage in sexual behaviors, especially not with someone older.

It’s also been found that adults who prey on children will actually use things like cartoons and animations which depict the exploitation of children in sexual situations to convince children that what they’re doing is okay and perfectly acceptable. That’s…really fucked up.

I understand that a lot of people in fandom saying these things or posting these works don’t think they’re doing anything wrong or don’t realize how harmful their actions are, but I’m here to tell ya…newsflash, asshole, depicting minors in sexual situations has been wrong this entire goddamn time!!! Please stop doing that. Please, for the love of god. S T O P.

As far as “aging up” the characters I mean…that’s going to be a divisive issue in which again, I get both sides.

Being that he’s not a real character you can sort of shape him in different ways and part of that involves depicting him as an actual adult. As long as that’s actually conveyed in your work and is perfectly clear then I guess technically there’s not anything legally off about that, although it might not sit right with everyone who feels like that’s still sketchy behavior.

Personally, I’m more comfortable with the aging up thing in fan fiction because fan fiction in general tends to take a lot of liberties away from canon to begin with and so it’s not that hard to envision a Yuri who in a story would be in his twenties.

Then again, I may also be biased because these are my personal thoughts on the ship: As of right now, I don’t see them as anything but friends, perhaps even best friends. I’m happy for both of them that they have someone they feel like they can relate to and being that at least Yuri’s been something of a loner, I’m glad he has someone close to his age that he gets along with so well.

I feel like (and again, this is just me) that as they get older it’s perfectly possible that their relationship may develop into something more and I wouldn’t be opposed to that. I think that once they both have a chance to grow and mature, and again, get better acquainted with one another first as friends, that I could see them having a cute, happy, healthy relationship of which I’d be in support of.

As of right now, though, I don’t ship them romantically. It’s just sort of a parent looking at their kid and their good friend and thinking, “Hmmm, those two might get married some day years and years down the road…” and sort of smiling knowingly to yourself.

Now of course, it’s 100% possible that they don’t. That they remain friends (or perhaps even grow apart, who knows!) but never anything more than that or maybe even that when they’re a little older they try dating, but it doesn’t work out, they make better friends, and so they split. Mother doesn’t always know best and although I personally think of them as a future otp, there’s really no saying for sure until we get something in canon.

But so…these are all my thoughts. Feel free to disagree with me, I understand this is incredibly sensitive subject matter and people have a lot of thoughts and feelings about it, some of which are deeply personal and therefore make this an even more charged discussion.

I apologize if anything I’ve said has contributed to that harm, even if it was indirectly. I’ve tried, to the best of my ability, to look at this from both sides and to take each argument into careful consideration, although I’m just one person and like all people, I can be biased and misinformed, so my word is definitely not law and like I said multiple times, if you simply just can’t get behind the ship because it makes you even the slightest bit uncomfortable, for whatever reason, I encourage you to do what’s best for you and what’s best for your health.

For those in favor of, please don’t insist that anyone opposed “just get over it” or “shut up and let people ship what they want, gosh!!!” It’s really not quite as simple as that and you may be talking to someone who has a personal experience similar to the one this relationship would present that was traumatic for them and it therefore is hard for them to see you being dismissive of concerns that they try to bring to your attention.

That being said, I do realize as well that there are a lot of people who haven’t really sat down and given the situation any thought who are basically just looking for an excuse to yell at someone and so all they want to do is yell, “It’s pedophilia, it’s wrong, you should kill yourself!!!!” even at people who have said, “I’m actually a survivor of CSA and I don’t think this ship is that”.

I think there’s sort of a knee-jerk reaction re: pedophilia discourse to really go into high gear and start chucking things in the trash if it even vaguely looks like that’s what’s going on, but we’re not really doing that discourse any service if we have this sort of reaction instead of stepping back and looking at it from a truly critical and realistic point of view. 

The protection of children and minors is of the utmost importance and should come first before all things, but it needs to be from a rational standpoint otherwise we’re not really benefiting anyone but ourselves as we try to look the most morally upstanding of them all by using sweeping generalizations and condemning situations without really taking them into proper context and consideration. 

In addition to that line of thought, for those who defend the ship, bear in mind that your enjoyment of something doesn’t get to supersede the safety of others. 

As I’ve outlined, 15 year old Yuri and 18 year old Otabek would not be okay.

16 year old Yuri and 18 year old Otabek, however, is legal and it doesn’t really do any good to throw American laws at the situation just because that’s where you’re from because again, these two aren’t from America and the age of consent varies by state, although the most common age is still 16 so really no matter how you slice it that’s what we’re left with.

And, of course, art and fan fiction depicting an underage Yuri in sexual situations is not okay, especially if you’re an adult.

So. This has been a lot of text, a lot of words, a lot of ideas, and a lot to take in, but it’s all important.

I don’t see this as an argument that’s going to go away any time soon, so I wanted to offer up my two cents which no one asked for, but I felt nevertheless compelled to share.

I think people on both sides need to take the time to listen, to try to understand, and to have some compassion. If you’re yelling at a 16 year old kid on the internet to go kill themselves because you think they’re doing something harmful, that’s not really any better than what you’re trying to defend and you need to take a step back. Because although there are plenty (re: too many) problematic adults in this fandom, a lot of fans are actually themselves minors. I promise and encourage you to make your point without having to jump to death threats or telling people to die. There is validity (to a certain degree) on both sides and I hope this ridiculously long post has provided at least a little bit of clarity on the situation.

I think it’s important that we don’t jump to conclusions or take certain ideas to their most extreme i.e. “all age gap relationships are inherently abusive!” and “a 16 year old is a helpless infant incapable of making decisions for themselves and has no business being sexually active!”

While you may be understandably uncomfortable with age gaps and sexually active teens, these are things that happen that aren’t always bad, it’s the context and the nature of the relationship that’s important and while like I said, I’m not wild about the idea of a 16 year old being sexually active (there are also a lot of grown ass adults I’m not wild about being sexually active either as they can be highly immature and irresponsible) I’m also realistic and can understand that there’s a fair chance they will be and that I don’t do that age group any favors by blanketly infantilizing them and trying to deny them that, especially if legally they’re within their rights. I do, however, as an adult have a responsibility both morally and legally to not contribute to the sexualization of said 16 year old.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and please be good to yourself and to each other.