#the trashier the better for romance novels

[thoughtsaboutsnape]

As a student, Severus always had his nose in a book.

He was frequently in trouble with Madam Pince for the various food stains and notes in library books

He received a two-week ban from the library after the Mashed Potato Incident.

He never quite mastered the art of walking downstairs while reading but thankfully no one saw.

His favourite place is a small second-hand bookshop in Hogsmeade. The old lady who runs the place gave him a key.

He has a secret stash of romance novels under his bed.

[the-desert-dancer]

20 Tav QOTDs

Inspired by @elvhenmage (although I swapped out one of their questions with another), wanted to do one for my girl Seraphina Proudfoot

what do they smell like at their freshest? (and/or after a tenday. your choice)

Probably faintly of perfumes and flowers, as Seraphina is kinda self conscious about the way they smell. She really hates feeling dirty/unwashed, so she goes to great lengths to like, keep herself clean, including scrubbing her clothes clean until it feels like her hands are raw.

what would their blood taste like to vampires?

Kind of like a fruity wine, with just a hint of sweetness. 

how would they kiss their LI?

Seraphina is admittedly not the biggest kisser around, mostly just due to the height difference between her and Shadowheart (involves a bit too much bending down lol). But she does give Shadowheart quick pecks on the lips from time to time.

how do they sleep with their LI (what position, does one steal the blankets, is one too hot/cold, etc)?

It was definitely a bit of a weird experience at first for Seraphina to share a bed with Shadowheart, purely due to the size difference. But eventually the two settled into a rhythm of sorts, with Seraphina being the little spoon. However she admittedly can be a bit of a blanket hog and enjoys cocooning herself in blankets.

what does their tent area look like? where do they prefer to pitch their tent (next to water, covered on three sides, etc)?

Best way to describe it would be a dragon’s horde, really. Seraphina likes to sleep with the camp valuables closet by her. Also a ton of pillows and blankets, to rest on. She also prefers pitching her tent next to rocks or wall, somewhere where there’s a hard surface behind her and she doesn’t have to worry about someone sneaking up behind her while she’s sleeping.

if they had a set of dnd dice, what would they look like?

Purple and sparkly, almost gem-like in quality. Kind of like Imogen Temult-themed dice.

do they collect anything (gems, bottles, keys, etc)?

Gold (only somewhat kidding). Gems, jewels, silver chalices, anything small and valuable really.

if either, are they part of the astarion/gale book club (magic & literature) or the wyll/shadowheart book club (trashy romance novels)?

Seraphina would 100% be a part of the trashy romance book club. The smuttier/trashier the romance, the better for her.

if they had to be put in a “get along shirt” with a companion, who would it be?

That’d be tough, because I think she more or less gets along with all the companions. Probably Minthara? Just because Seraphina can find her a bit much, in terms of being bloodthirsty.

do they prefer speak with dead or speak with animals?

Very much Speak With Animals, as she finds corpses to be a bit too much. Too gross and messy, to wanna talk to. 

what are their thoughts on clowns?

Honestly, they give her the creeps. Not that she would ever admit to it, of course. 

their companions are gossiping about them behind their back! who is it and what are they saying?

Astarion would have noticed Seraphina and Shadowheart sneaking off after the Tiefling Party and be gossipping about them to basically anyone who would listen.

what makes them laugh? what does their laugh sound like?

Seeing someone slipping over and falling always gets a laugh outta her. 

do they have any inside jokes among their companions?

The only real inside joke among the group is whenever they come upon a cliff or mountain, they all turn to Karlach and chuckle. Mostly because one time, while Seraphina was struggling to climb up a fairly sheer cliffface, Karlach just went ‘fuck it’ and carried seraphina in one hand while climbing/jumping up. And it's something Seraphina found kind of embarrassing and to this day, still gets flustered about when reminded of when it happened. 

what’s the description of their camp clothes in the inventory menu?

‘Smells of lavender, but ill-suited for roughing it in the wilderness. Looks like painstaking efforts have been made, to remove any bloodstains from the fabric’

what’s the description of their underwear in the inventory menu?

‘Frilly and purple, with a single heart stitched onto it’

how do they celebrate their birthday?

With a lot of cake, partying and also gifts (mostly envelopes stuffed with cash, her favorite kind of gift). Later followed by a live performance of her latest piece of music and then snuggling with Shadowheart to end the night.

what modern day tv show would they binge over a weekend? do they get their LI to watch with them?

Glee honestly would be kind of a hate watch for Seraphina, mostly criticizing the songs and saying how she could do so much better. But mostly she’d be watching a lot of trashy reality tv stuff, like Love Island, Married At First Sight, The Bachelorette, that sorta thing. She would definitely try to rope Shadowheart into watching some of them, so the two can gossip about who they like. 

What would your Tav do (profession/occupation) if they lived in our world?

Seraphina would 100% be some kind of social media influencer or running some kind of scheme (think like Gwyneth Paltrow and GOOP).

if you were to try pickpocketing them, what would they be carrying?

Gold, tons of it. To the point that it's almost weighing her down.

[phoenixwrites]

Last year I found that I'm capable of shipping fucked up ship (controversial fucked up villain, you can compare him to Billy but worst, and MC basically) and it fucked with my head because I thought I was a bad person. It's silly but I finally got over it because I'm not. Then months later I found Hellcheer and I was so relieved because finally I found a WHOLESOME ship!! and then I dag deeper into the fandom lore and background and you can guess what bullshit I found, right?

You're talking to someone who shipped Jessica Jones and Kilgrave back in the day. I love me a fucked up darkship. (It was like me and one other person who shipped this and we did it under the cover of darkness because we were so afraid of getting harassed.) I even remember feeling that same kind of shame that I shipped it, because I know Kilgrave is a rapist, I know that canonically it is disgusting and I'm so glad canon Jessica murdered that fucker...

But in fiction, I can watch two characters destroy each other over and over again and no one gets hurt. And it took me years to realize that what I read and enjoy in fiction has zero bearing on what I condone and believe offline.

Perfect example? Johanna Lindsay novels. I loooove Johanna Lindsay novels, the trashier the better. Now I don't think there is a SINGLE Johanna Lindsay novel that has a genuinely healthy romance. She didn't even really address "consent" as a thing until the mid to late 90's (Her first book came out 1979) and even then, it was a wibbly concept and always the woman's fault that she didn't just sit back and enjoy it.

Now despite the fact that I am trying to get a copy of every single Johanna Lindsay novel (with the Fabio covers, you can keep your boring minimalist covers of the 2000s) and read them obsessively--

Does this mean I want a hulking Viking to kidnap me and have his horrible way with me? No.

...

Okay, maybe I do a little bit, but if any of the guys I was seeing talked to me the way a Johanna Lindsay hero does his heroine, I would punch them in the face. Johanna Lindsay is not writing blueprints for relationships, she is writing sweeping purple prosey romance without a care if it's "ethical" or "moral" or "feminist". She leaves that to me to talk about how bodice rippers represent female liberation. (I'll save you the TED talk.)

I am getting increasingly concerned with how Gen Z engages with fiction.

[allthepandasintheworld]

i demand all the rene factoids!!

agjhskldjfhls okok uh

rene is a huge fan of dime store romances. like, the trashier the better. he projects onto the protagonists, without realizing that in all honesty, he shares a lot more in common with the 'dark and brooding' love interest type. in modern AU, he's on booktok. he pretends that he's there ironically, but in truth he's not. cringelord. i love him. him and alois are both very cheesy romance novel love interest-coded, although personally i think alois is a little more protagonist-coded than rene is.

[therealnightcity]

2, 15 for Hiro 🐱 12, 23 for Ares 🔥 35, 50 for Avi❄️

Character asks for @dreamskug 😘💕💕

Hiro:

2.) Do they have any daily rituals?

Hiro likes having time to relax in the morning before he has to work, and plays on his phone for a bit, while he sips his coffee and goes through any messages/notifications he's gotten. Sometimes it's work stuff, but sometimes it's just for fun, and he might play around with a couple photos to post. The cats don't allow their mealtime to be forgotten, so it's usually the same time every day. Misty comes and feeds them on the rare days he's not home. In the evenings he usually lights a stick of incense or a candle (kept out of reach of the cats--they haven't tried anything stupid yet but he wouldn't put it past them either). Usually followed by a long, hot shower. Hiro tries to set at least a couple minutes a day for spoiling himself--it feels like an impossible luxury that he'd never have even considered before.

15.) Biggest and smallest short term goal?

A small short term goal is to get a regular basis of clients/focus on one fixer so he can be more select in the jobs he takes. There was a point where he was very indiscriminate in the sort of work he's doing, and he'd like to establish himself better, so he can afford turn down jobs on occasion when they don't feel right, or he just needs a day off, and it's something that isn't time sensitive. He knows it's unwise to blow off fixers completely but he can't deny he'd like a little more security and freedom in the gigs he takes.

One of his bigger short-term goals is to set aside enough money to be able to travel more. He'd never want to leave Night City permanently, but there's so many places he's never been and wants to see. He's never seen an actual forest before, or snow and taken time off to sightsee, and not be tangled in the Claws, or working all the time. It matters less where he goes and more that it's somewhere new, a change of scenery, and break in his routine.

Ares:

12.) Favorite book genre?

Ares isn't typically discriminating in her reading tastes. She gets bored on her own, and doesn't come by a lot of books in the Badlands, so she'll read almost anything she can get her hands on, from educational texts, to fantasy novels. Her guilty pleasure is romance books, the trashier the better, and she has a little stash of bodice rippers that she's acquired over the years. She wants to enjoy poetry but seldom has the patience to discern the hidden meanings in it, and usually goes for something that keeps her flipping pages. She also adores mysteries, and has spent many quiet nights with her nose in a book.

23.)How organized are they? How does this organization/ disorganization manifest in their everyday life?

Ares for all the things she is, is not an organized person. She somehow knows where everything is, even if nobody else does. Her garage is immaculate, but her home is usually cluttered, her mind usually on something else, or preocupied with a particularly stubborn problem. She's good at not losing objects, but she's not good at remembering dates/engagements unless they're written down somewhere. It's never for lack of caring, but it's harder explaining that to clients who's appointments she's forgotten. Her desk is usually covered in a bunch of sticky note reminders to herself, and she goes through a mental checklist before she leaves her house--keys, wallet, phone, before she's allowed to close the door.

Avi:

35.) What activities do they enjoy, but consider to be a waste of time?

Avi enjoys salon days, even if it feels like a waste of time. He tells himself that's it's part of his job looking his best, but really he just enjoys feeling spoiled, and enjoying a rare moment that he's not working. He has expensive tastes, whether it's clothing or care products, only the best and he's not shy about voicing it. That being said, he's decent to people who wait from him, if not exactly warm, because they're inclined to perform better if he's not a complete asshole. He's more than capable of being charming if he's so inclined, and the situation suits him.

50.) Is this person afraid of dying? Why or why not?

Avi has always been afraid of dying--that's part of the reason he became involved with Arasaka in the first place. They seemed to be the most likely party to hold the answers he wanted, and the best chance he had of surviving Night City without the protection of a gang, and simultaneously the dangers that come along with it. Arasaka has it's own risks, but they are one's he's well versed in, and he saw them as being worth it, for the rewards of a luxurious lifestyle, and the best cyberware, and training money could buy. It's still something he's paranoid about, and his break from Arasaka only intensified this, but there's another interested party that offers answers, if he's not afraid of his aliances shifting.

Thanks for asking!!! I had so much fun answering these~ 🥺🥺

[case-of-traxits]

Tag Someone You Want To Get To Know Better (or check in with)

tagged by @evil-robot-cat

Oh man. It's been a while for one of these. XD

Favorite Color: Purple. Or orange.

Last Song: Broken, by Lauren Hoffman. I was uh... maybe working on some Lucrecia fanfic.

Last Movie: ... Huh. What was the last movie I watched? I have a baby now, so I generally don't do movies in my free time anymore. I mostly just turn on music and try to get some words out. To be fair, I've never been a HUGE movie buff. My favorite two movies though are The Last Unicorn (which I've been thinking about a lot because I read it to my daughter and something I was writing a while back gave me major Molly Grue vibes-- YOU KNOW THE SCENE) and the Fifth Element (which is, in my humble opinion, as close to a perfect movie as we have come).

Currently Watching: Haaaah, much like movies, I just don't watch much by way of tv shows anymore. I was watching a lot earlier in the year when I was breastfeeding and pumping though. I am watching "Reborn as a Vending Machine, I Now Wander the Dungeon," and feeling REALLY weird about how damn much I am enjoying it, as well as trying to make time to watch the "Arknights" anime.

Other Stuff I Watched This Year: "Campfire Cooking in Another World with My Absurd Skill," "My Life as a Villainess," and "BOFURI: I Don't Want to Get Hurt, So I'll Max Out My Defense." ... I know, these are all anime. Look. When I was pumping, I had 30-40 minute blocks to watch things. That's exactly the wrong length of time for "regular" TV, but perfect for anime.

Shows I Dropped This Year: Basically everything, and often through no fault of the show itself. The simple fact is, even though I've been watching anime which is usually considered "trashier" than "real" TV, there's just very little "real" TV that I'm currently excited over.

Currently Reading: I am on a reread of my favorite 30+ romance novel series. I have 34 books in this series to read! It's phenomonal when you read as fast as I do. I mean, do the plots/characters all blur together after like, book 10? Of course they do. But they do that on fanfiction too for me.

I tag @here-be-ninjas, @isamajor, and @talesfantastic

[olderthannetfic]

I'm laughing so hard right now.

I think most bestseller lists are on a weekly basis, so it's 52 weeks per year times however many separate bestseller categories there are times however many slots are on the bestseller list before it cuts off. That might be "fiction" and "nonfiction", but it might be as granular as "romance novels" or something.

In the US, when we say "bestseller", we're usually referring to the New York Times' lists, which have 15-20 books on them, so that's 1560 bestsellers a year minimum when the lists were just "fiction" and "nonfiction"

A cursory google suggests that Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros is topping some NYT fiction list right now... and that's a book I've only heard of because a bunch of people asked me in tones of deepest horror if I'd read it and why on earth it was so over-promoted.

But, of course, the NYT loves to straight up delete trashy books from the list. (There was a lawsuit.)

They have split the lists multiple times, always to do something like get Harry Potter to stop dominating the fiction list by kicking it to "children's" or to pretend that even mid-tier romance novels don't sell better than 99.9999999999% of books the NYT actually approves of.

It's sort of a numerical measure, which already doesn't mean quality, but the NYT has straight up admitted in court that they also manipulate the numbers as they see fit for artistic editorial reasons. They also do it to catch cheaters, which is nice but has the risk of false positives.

--

The bottom line is that if you like the kind of literary fiction and intellectual popular nonfiction that the NYT does, then you should read their book reviews for your book news.

And if you like trashier books, as I do, the NYT is already cooking the numbers in stupid ways and has been for decades. Find some book reviewer who likes your genre instead.

I used to think books with "bestseller" labels must be great and that they're the books I should try reading but now that people are getting popular through social media first before their books even release made me think otherwise. People seem to be buying the book like it's celebrity merch. The books could still be good but I now read multiple reviews especially negative ones which has lists of what they think is not good about the books. When I see "bestseller" now I just think "A lot of people bought this." but also ask "Did they like it though?".

Question though: you think "bestseller" label in published books is equivalent to kudos or hits on fics? I mean there's a filter to see items listed that way and there are people who base their fic reading list to it.

--

*snickering*

Okay, the thing you have to understand about 'bestseller' as a term is that it's time-dependent.

It's not just kudos: it's kudos in the first 24 hours. It's movie profits on opening weekend.

This shit means literally nothing if you're consuming the art even six months later, never mind after a decade.

--

I think it's stupid as fuck to sort AO3 by kudos unless you're just researching what gets a lot of kudos. I think having this as a default behavior encourages bullies to force targets into archive-locking (which almost invariably reduces kudos and hits) and penalizes authors who don't waste a lot of time trying to game the system. I also don't think it's actually effective for finding good fic.

But buying books based on bestseller status is even dumber because all it means is that a book was marketed correctly to have all its sales in the same week.

Here's someone's attempt to explain. He estimates that you need to sell only 5,000-10,000 copies in a single week to make it on one of the NYT lists.

There are a few other quirks to it, but... yeah... 5k copies in a slow week. Nationwide in the US. For something released by a big publisher with reach. Counting pre-orders if it's the very first week.

And then you get to put "NYT Bestseller" on the cover forever even if it never sold more than those 5k preorders.

Forget booktok promoting garbage: if the numbers are really this low, then "bestseller" meant absolutely nothing for years and years before modern social media.

It's not even cumulative like kudos are. If they mean that, they label it with "Over blahdy-blah million copies sold", not "bestseller".

Like with kudos, the only time this is really useful is if you're chasing buzz. If you want to know what other people are making noise about this week, then yes, you should check out the current bestseller.

It is okay to chase buzz, especially if you are a book blogger and trying to keep your audience up to date on what's going on in publishing! Just be aware that that's what you're doing.

If you want a book that will be culturally relevant for longer than five minutes or a book that is well-written or a book that is to your taste, you should look for some other method of book discovery.

And hey, you might end up with that very same bestseller! It might be a great book, actually. It's just that the "bestseller" status isn't what tells you that.

[empiressmpheadcanon]

Scott loves reading shitty romance novels. The trashier the better. He can spend whole evenings just making fun of them.

i can see him doing this 100%

[luck-and-larceny]

10. What objects do they always carry around with them? (What do they need for their normal, day-to-day routine? What does ‘normal’ even look like for them.) 

The most burning question people have about Malika is "Excuse me, why does she act like that?" It's because she's crazy.

The second most burning question is: "What objects does she carry around with her?" The answer is: "Whatever she can." 

But since 4 people asked this from the most recent character prompt post I think I should be more specific! @dumb-hat , @thefreelanceangel , @lettersnorth and @rylen-ooc all asked and that makes me :D .

So here we go!

Malika doesn't have a routine. She shuns routine because she resents feeling like she has to do anything. She does most activities completely on a whim and if she genuinely has to keep an appointment she's usually late. This is terrible behavior, but she's found that she's perfectly fine with being terrible.

If there is a routine though, it's putting on two of the items she always carries around: a silver necklace with a swan shaped pendant and a tarnished, silver ring with a middle section that spins. The necklace is a sentimental item from the first job she did with Evander. The ring is an item she stole from a wealthy noble at a party. Light bounced off the ring catching her attention; it seemed to Malika it must have been a sign from Nymeia that she needed to take it. She now spins the ring for good luck in tense moments.

Other items that Malika has on her at all times: 

Wood flute.

Several dice. Not always matching sets. In fact, usually not matching. Most of these she has won gambling and continues to carry for good luck. One or two are definitely loaded.

Random cards. Malika is not great at playing cards. She is good at stealing them, however. And most of these are stolen.

Lockpicks. Malika likes to go places. She especially likes to go places people don't want her to go.

Trashy erotica novel. Honestly, the trashier the better. If it has an embarrassing title that gives away that it's erotica, that's ideal. They are fun to read. They're even more fun to read in public around people she wants to make uncomfortable.

Genuinely good romance novel. Sometimes she's not an asshole. Hard to imagine, but true. She just likes reading these.

Stuff. Random knick knacks and bobbles she has stolen off of people and that she will exchange for different knick knacks and bobbles.

Linkpearl. It's fun getting into trouble. Even more fun to invite other people to get into trouble with her. The linkpearl makes that easier.

Thanks the Ask, everyone! That was fun!

[blackkatmagic]

Kat do you like to read romance novels :o

Yep. The trashier the better. They are my comfort food.

[hazel2468]

Avery is hopelessly addicted to romance novels. The trashier, the better. They HATE it when people find out- they have a reputation, you know?

what does your oc do that they don’t want anyone else to know about?

[omgsomeonesomewhereonearth]

Potentially Controversial (tm) Sanders Sides headcanon

Patton loves romance novels.

"But Titli, what's controversial about that?", I hear you ask, "Romance novels are just as valuable a form of literature as any other genre, and there are loads of incredibly good, high quality books out there and honestly it's quite ignorant to write off a whole genre like that-"

Oh, but you misunderstand me, my friend

The romance genre deserves more respect and there are many quality works under that title.

That's not what Patton's reading .

(Well, that's not true, he enjoys those, but I'm not talking about that)

What Patton honestly, unironically, and entirely unabashedly loves is the stereotypical kind of book that most people think about when they talk about romance novels.

The trashier the better to be honest.

The kind of thing you're likely to find in bored housewives' sock drawers, with the ridiculously dramatic covers and even more dramatic titles.

There are a total of maybe three different plots used in rotation to make like three thousand books out of.

Always, always, always, have a happy ending. Basically the Hallmark Christmas movies of writing, right?

Look, he knows they're not exactly great art okay? But they make him happy and Patton doesn't have to justify his literary tastes to anyone.

He's not the art guy, he's the mushy feelings guy, and sometimes he just wants to turn off his brain, forget about his own feelings, and spend several pages yelling at Jennifer because Steve is not the guy for her.

The other sides are a little skeptical of this hobby at first (especially Roman - this is not hate at him, but he is the art guy, and this offfends his creative sensibilites)

I like to think that Patton eventually gets him hooked on them as well.

Patton is definitely one of those people who talks out loud when he reads as well right?

I can imagine him curled up in a cosy armchair with some warm tea, gasping at regular intervals and whispering "Sandra, no!"

Taking long sips of tea whenever something juicy happens.

Squeeing at fluffy romantic scenes.

Going a bit teary at the cliche happy endings

Blushing deeply whenever anything remotely steamy happens.

I don't know how this headcanon popped into my head - I definitely don't read these books, like ever? I don't even like good romance, and yet I cannot rid myself of the idea that my favourite character absolutely LOVES "low brow" cliche romance. He just does, okay? I don't care who disagrees with me, I'm right goddamnit!

(Obligatory clarification that that last line was a joke, you don't have the accept any headcanons you don't like :))

[friedunicornstudio]

Happy Elfuary! Hope you like elves, and if not, there will be some other things along the way, don’t you worry.

The first prompt is “incandescent” so here’s my piece featuring one of our characters, Kariles, a very warm and inviting sun deity who’s just enjoying some light reading in her garden. She collects, and greatly enjoys romance novels; the trashier the better. Closeups included because I’m just fond of how all these big hibiscus flowers turned out! 🌺🌺☀️🌺🌺

[tea-and-conspiracy]

14. Would they agree with the term ‘guilty pleasure’? Do they have any?

HARLEQUIN ROMANCE NOVELS

THE TRASHIER THE BETTER

YOU HAVE NO IDEA THE KIND OF GARBAGE SHE READS OH MY GOD

[the-iron-orchid]

25 & 38?

25: What are some things they find difficult to do? Or say?

It’s difficult for Jinana to ask for help from hir loved ones, because s/he feels like s/he’s received so much help already. Rationally, s/he knows there isn’t a limit on how much help you can receive, but brain weasels are brain weasels.

In the Apprentice continuity, helping Julian learn to ask for and accept help from others also helps hir to do the same.

38: How does your character unwind after a long day?

Mad sex BEFORE that... a nice cup of tea and maybe a little escapist reading (trashy romance novels are hir not-so-guilty pleasure, the trashier the better so s/he can laugh at them). Of course, Julian is always all too willing to provide a nice foot massage... but s/he tries not to take advantage of this too often. ;)

Julian like: PLZ TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME ;A;

[rosettevaleria]

☯ - likes/dislikes headcanon

Rosette likes a number of things, but there are two that tend to stand out for her. She really like the beach. She finds it incredibly calming to listen to the waves on the sand, running through the waves is a wonderful workout and swimming is something she finds relaxing. It’s a different element than what she’s used to, which is the desert heat and the press of people in Ul’dah.

The second thing she really likes are romance novels. The trashier, the better. Roegadyn sweeping a hyur off their feet, paladins romancing and redeeming black mages. You name it, it’s on her shelf. She has three shelves in her house dedicated to romance novels and several more shelves in her office at the company headquarters dedicated to even more. She even has duplicate copies, one for each place, because she has her favorites. She dislikes the cold and snow. Absolutely hates being cold. If she has to go to Coerthas or Ishgard for anything, she will bitch and moan about it. She will find any way she can to not have to go a cold place. 

Thanks for the ask @cigarettes-n-daisies!