#the tism on our end doesnt help
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I never claimed to be the responsible one in this body *takes a sip of whiskey on a completely empty stomach, having last eaten 11 hours ago and it only being half a bag of chips, no breakfast to speak of*
#look i dont think i was the one that fucked up breakfast but come on#who the hell looks away from food in this adhd ass body?#we all know if we dont immediately dig in we'll forget it exists and it'll get gross#so no breakfast and all i could manage to handle was the chips and nothing else sooooo#nothing went to plan today our life is in shambles#we should never rely on other people to do fucking anything and we should never plan around them either#didnt do chores didnt eat its a fucking miracle we took our meds#im gonna fucking drink and we're gonna TRY to not be snappish at our mum for not at least notifying us that the plans were cancelled#cant entirely blame her shes showing signs of VERY early stages of dementia. her memory isnt gonna last forever#and she doesnt have the coping mechanisms we have with our memory issues because shes used to having a reliable memory to fall back on#it'll take time for her to adjust to her brain being unreliable like this and it'll take longer than it took for us#amnesia from childhood is VERY different from amnesia appearing late into adulthood ('late' shes 41)#its gotta be weird and probably very upsetting#we were a little confused about it at first when she took our reminders as insults#if youre new to memory struggles reminders are helpful right? wrong. its not about practicality its about being deemed as unreliable#even if its true in a completely objective sense#whatever we know theres times where we wont completely understand what shes dealing with - different experiences and all that#the tism on our end doesnt help#we just cant tell when reminders are welcome so we dont give them at all anymore#even when it fucks us over - like today! ☆#gods we're tired
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