#the thought and urge to protect and nurture my inner child makes me cry

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The 'inner child' urge to build a house and live in Panaji is immaculate. To go on walks around the neighborhood, cycling in the evening, stare at the sky while sipping tea, seeing Mamma Mia for the thousandth time, swaying peacefully in the kitchen while soft bollywood songs play in the background and paying my own bills seems kinda nice.

[divine-peach]

past life reading for @danithelilshit

Memory:

“Watch it!” I hear the voice before I feel the shove, someone's arm pushing my whole self forward and if I had a cup of coffee on me then, it would have split all over the sidewalk. “Hey!” I shout back disgruntled, rubbing the back of my head, my fingers curling around my brown locks. The man turns back to shoot me a look filled with venom before rushing off to do whatever he does. I swallow down the urge to stick my tongue out at him, my body itching for some retribution. Dick... Jerk, my mind supplies at the same time and I resist the urge to stomp my foot like a petulant little child. Dick, my mind settles the matter firmly. I narrow my eyes before sighing, letting go of my anger. It wouldn’t do me any good to be angry at walking passers-by, it was bloody New York for god’s sake, I would have to be mad at everyone!

I look down at the grey sidewalk, distantly noticing the loud noises of the traffic, the beeps and squeals of tires, before sighing again and glancing up at the tall skyscrapers whose windows glittered in the sun. Ugly yet also oddly beautiful at the same time. Home, my mind supplied. I smile minutely, a small tug of my lips. Well, time to get to business then, I think to myself staring at the back of other people’s heads as they walk by. It’s strange to think..., my mind whispers unhelpfully, not able to put to words an understanding of how strange people are, how fascinating we are. We all have hidden thoughts and stories people will never know, secrets we’ll take to our graves. I’m slightly taken back by the sudden morbid turn of my mind, before glancing at the pedestrian crossing. I go to cross, merging with the herd of people that step onto the road. Sunlight jumps off the yellow cabs and the shiny metal of the motorcycles. I narrowly dodged getting elbowed again as a stream of people crosses from the other side, seemingly heading straight into us. I sigh, relieved as I survive the ordeal that was crossing the road. I still had 5 more blocks to get through before I could get to work. I wrinkle my nose at the thought of working, slightly repulsed at the idea of working a 9-5 desk job, every day. How monotonous. I would rather be in a dancers studio, soft music coming from the radio speakers and light spilling onto the open brick wall, accompanied by the smell of the rosin and the feeling of satin.

I sigh, hands shaking and the tell-tale feeling of tears pricking my eyes. That was nothing more than a pipe dream, a fantasy for us ordinary folk. I angrily wipe away anything that slipped past my solid reserve, before continuing the walk down to my job. America, the land where dreams stayed dreams.        

Appearance:

Your frame was petite for someone who was 5′7. You had lovely auburn hair that complimented your sweet green eyes. When it wasn’t styled, your hair was slightly wavy, with the occasional curl here and there. You often wore your hair down if you could. You were often told you were a natural beauty, which helped you get noticed a lot when you were growing up. You had slight freckles that ran over your nose and spilled onto your cheeks, faint, however. You had pale pink lips, though often wore red lipstick and applied black mascara to your lashes.

In the memory, you wore a grey suit dress: A slate grey blazer accompanied by a long skirt. You found grey to be quite a dull colour, therefore in your mind, it complemented your equally dull job. When you could, you loved to wear anything of colour, preferring a world of colour and passion as opposed to the grey of business. You painted your nails often, really taking care of them.  

Traits & Characteristics:

Often getting lost into your own head, you were quite the dreamer. You were a passionate person, with a giant, burning inner flame. If you didn’t get your way, you often acted quite child-like about it. You had a very easy-going charm about you, which drew and comforted many people, often attracting a large crowd wherever you went. You had a strong drive and liked having clear set goals you could aim - you knew what you wanted.

You were considered to be fairly sweet and caring towards your friends and loved ones, even with strangers. Nurture was a big part of your aspect and you often found yourself the helpful shoulder others could lean or cry upon.

You were quite secretive, not on purpose but you didn’t feel the need to wear your heart on your sleeve. Other’s considered you quite the enigma, which only enforced your appeal to them.

You hated anything dull or boring, preferring to pursue your interests and passions. You felt lively when dancing, anything involving movement was your forte. You liked to live life fast-paced, always eager to reach the next stage of things.

Major Themes:

Dreams

Freedom

Passion

Travel

Hope

Will and Motivation

Notes:

This life was set in New York City. You often viewed it as a city of colour, but at times when life was dull and hard, you often thought you saw the city in monochrome.

The memory was set somewhere in the 1950���s. You were quite young, late 20′s or early 30′s.

Major Scorpio and Leo vibes, though could be mistaken for Aries and Sagittarius energy.

Often nicknamed Rose or a variation of, mostly stemming from childhood, referring to your beauty.

You had a strange relationship with your mother, who was very present in your life. You often felt comforted but also stifled by her. Sometimes she was overbearing, but sometimes she was just whom you needed.

Your mother was fiercely protective of you.

You loved anything that got your moving, finding freedom in the physical energy that was exerted.

You may have known German from either your father or grandfather. Often spoke it a lot when you were younger, but not so much when you were older. Your father featured more often in your memories as this black & white picture of him, rather of him physically.

The city was new to you, though you tried hard to make it your home, though often missed the greener landscape of your childhood.

[patrickndahdal]

Transform your Fears NOW: Embracing your Inner Shadow Serpent By Melanie Philippides

Transform your Fears NOW: Embracing your Inner Shadow Serpent for Empowered Living.

The shadow serpent is a symbol of the darkness within you. It is your inner shadow that is comprised of your fears, insecurities, wounds from the past, all that which you have not made peace with that has been sent to the deeper recesses of your mind, cast into a cave of solitude. When it is hidden (in our unconscious) we don’t have to deal with it. It is a natural human tendency after all, to avoid what causes pain and suffering, and seek out pleasure and comfort instead. We associate pleasure with reward and pain with punishment. On a physical level, it makes sense to avoid situations that would cause us harm; it is an inner mechanism designed to keep us alive.

Even on a psychological level, avoiding pain has its advantages, namely when we are children. Children are still developing their egos and do not have a strong stable sense of self that a psychologically mature adult would possess. When trauma happens to a child, the horror of it can become too much and can cause damage. Cases of Multiple Personality Disorder for example, occur in those who have experienced such intense abuse that they literally had to split their mind to avoid the horror of their current reality, of which they have no control of. Our ego defence mechanisms as a child are lovingly there to protect us, to give us respite in a cruel world that we cannot control. This is an extreme example of the extremities the mind will go to in order to avoid suffering of the here and now, but ALL of us have experienced suffering to some extent in our childhood and so go into adult hood with a variety of defence mechanisms that have protected us in childhood.

As adults however, these ego defence mechanisms have reached their shelf life. They were created and implemented because the environment in which you were growing up was not safe. You were not in control. As an adult however, you have control over your environment. You can choose to seek a safe environment, choose what you want to do, who you want to spend time with etc.

What happens in adulthood is that situations will arise that will present you face to face with what you have pushed aside in the past. Now that it is safe, now is the time to re-address what has been hidden. For we are always seeking wholeness; much like the universe is continually expanding, so our mind seeks to expand and grow. We cannot grow and evolve if we have thoughts, memories and emotions pushed aside and not addressed. As Carl Jung once said, what you resist, persists. When we keep things we don’t like in a box and pretend it isn’t there, eventually the box is going to fall open, whether you like it or not. Symptoms will always keep appearing until you consciously face your inner fears, whether it is insomnia, disease, stress etc. such symptoms are there to tell you that something isn’t right and needs to be looked at.

We can live our lives avoiding the confrontation of our deepest fears and the associated anxiety and stress that comes with it – after all, the human tendency is to seek pleasure and avoid pain. Yet keep following the comfortable path of distraction and ignoring any symptoms, and trust me, situations will always keep manifesting that will bring you face to face with what you have been avoiding. Let’s take relationships for example. Have you ever found yourself asking “why does this keep on happening to me?” whether it is work, relationships, home life etc. repeated patterns which create suffering are perfect opportunities to do something different.

Einstein once said that the definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing and expect different results. Can you relate? Do you find yourself in a “Groundhog Day” situation where the same things keep happening and nothing changes? How frustrating is that?! Well now is the time to make changes! To make different choices, whether it is changing your thoughts, your feelings, and your actions, so that you are no longer creating suffering for yourself. Ultimately this requires facing what you have been hiding, and in doing so provides the opportunity for emerging out of it a stronger and more powerful person. This is empowerment. This is fearless living; to not let your fears hold you back from living at your highest potential.

I work with snakes. I work with them in coaching workshops to release fear, and I also dance with them in my belly dancing. It was snake charming – the ancient art of belly dancing with snakes – that brought snakes into my life. I have always been drawn to them, and a few years ago the opportunity presented itself to have one and learn how to dance with them. I’m not going to lie, I experienced anxiety working with my first snake; I’ve always had a phobia of my neck being constricted (I would never wear chokers, polo necks, or have ANYTHING around my neck) and yet here I was, holding a snake that kept wanting to wrap herself around my neck. It was my calling that brought me to this point, a deeper pull which I couldn’t understand at the time but I trusted my intuition to keep working with them.

Over time my anxiety of having her around my neck disappeared. I learned to let go and to trust her. This is key here: to let go of the fears and to trust. This wasn’t a random snake off the street, nor was this a venomous one- simply a harmless snake that enjoyed being played with. To help me overcome my fear initially was to use logic; to remind myself that snakes will NOT eat anything that is bigger than their circumference. I am much too large for her to eat. A snake isn’t going to exert its energy in attacking and killing what they can’t eat. I specifically chose her breed (Colombian Rainbow Boa) because they are the most easy-going and laid back of all snakes. And let me tell you, she’s never bitten me once. She hasn’t felt threatened by me and I haven’t by her. Trust works both ways in the dancing: I trust her to not hurt me, and she trust me to not hurt her.

On a psychological level, there is something quite powerful in the act of surrendering and letting go. Those who are successful in their personal and spiritual growth are the ones who surrender the will of the ego to the will of the Higher Self. To let go of following the whims and urges of ego defence mechanisms, to stop following the well-trodden path of self-destructive cycles and to embrace the will of the Higher Self, that is, following a path that is authentic to you, that is ruled by compassion, love, authenticity, respect, truth, empathy etc. Your highest potential. The act of surrendering with my snake has given me inner strength to surrender the will of my ego, to stop fighting, to observe the pain and the fear within me yet not let it control me.

Myself and Shiva (photo by Scott Cole Photography)

After a short while of dancing with Shiva, I realised that she was having an impact on me. Before I got her, I was starting to lose my motivation to work and to dance: I was very much experiencing a “dark night of the soul”. Soon after working with Shiva, I noticed myself feeling more powered up and dedicated to my work. I felt passionate about dancing again. She had somehow invigorated my will power and had given me back my zest for life. I had lost confidence in my dancing before having her, but she somehow restored it for me. This is her energy that she gives to me when she is wrapped around me, powerful energies of both destruction and creation.

In order for something new to be built in your mind: whether that is new ways of thinking, feeling, new habits, the old must die for the new to have space to grow. If we keep giving energy and attention to old habits that are no longer serving us, then there is not enough attention dedicated to nurturing new habits. Let go of the old for the new to be born. The snake is the perfect metaphor for this: she sheds her skin every month or so until she dies: she is the only creature in the world to do this because snakes keep growing until the day they die, so their shed is their skin that no longer fits them. This is a perfect symbol for us humans to use: learn how to shed what is not needed on a regular basis, so that you have room to grow into something bigger than you are now. She helped me confront my fears, and to do so –to challenge my fears and overcome them– is one of the most empowering things I have ever done. Much like how I confronted my fear of needles by having tattoos and now the fear is gone. Each time I challenge a fear, I emerge a stronger person from doing so.

It is from dancing with snakes that I understand their associations with kundalini energy. Kundalini energy is likened to a serpent living in a cave, waiting to be called. This is reflected in how they live in real life: they spend most of their time resting half-asleep in their hides (the shadow, the unconscious), emerging every now and then for food, for play, for interaction. I respect their need for being alone, and when I get them out to play, their energy is incredible. For example, I held a workshop in London about the transformative power of snakes, in which I brought Shiva along. The energy raised in this workshop was so strong: some people were giddy with euphoria, some were crying, and my phone battery blew!

Myself and Shiva (photo by Scott Cole Photography)

Now I have three snakes of all different sizes. The longer I work with them, the more my confidence grows. I respect their power, but I am not afraid. My work is twofold: to help people shape a new perspective about snakes through my snake charming, and to help people transform their perspectives of their fears through life coaching.

Myself and Ghost (Photo by 105 Photography)

The next time you are confronted with your inner fears, let it be: surrender to the will of your Higher Self, trust that in this loving place, no harm will come to you. This is because love has a higher vibration than that of fear. It is stronger. When you are in a loving state, you do not fear. Think about a time when you fell in love. Everything seems magical, seeing the world through rose tinted glasses. Does fear really hold you back when you are in a loving state? The answer is generally no.

Learn to see crisis as an opportunity for transformation. When you embrace your own inner shadow serpent, when you can learn to surrender and to trust, a great well of inner strength, confidence and power emerges from within. This is the metaphorical dance with the shadow serpent, and in time – like I did – you will start to see your darkness as not something to be afraid of, but an ally that teaches you how to be the strongest version of yourself.

Patrick Dahdal and all the team at Transformation TV are thrilled to be working with Melanie Philippides and sharing her unique message with the world.

You can watch Melanie's TV Show on the TV platform here: http://ift.tt/2t08tuj

My name is Melanie and I have 10 years worth of training: A BSc in psychology, MA/Diploma in Psychosynthesis Counselling & A Diploma in Energy 4 Life Coaching and leading workshops. ​ I have spent the last 12 years studying and practising meditation. I trained with the British Meditation Society and also with the Triratna Buddhist Community. I have also studied and worked alongside top nutritional coaches who specialise in living/raw foods, travelling with them to raw food conventions around the world.

**NOTE** All photos and information on this page was given to us by Melanie Philippides. 

  Transform your Fears NOW: Embracing your Inner Shadow Serpent By Melanie Philippides