#the things i'd do for this to become real.

[thatbitchery]

Random reminders because I'm in a random posting mood lately

What you engage with you tolerate. That's how you say yes- engagement. The second you respond to it you give the signal you tolerate it. Attention and engagement= yes.

You have free will. You can literally just- not. You can just - fuck this shit and go. You can leave mid dentist appointment. You can just walk out on a bad date. You can just not respond to that text literally. You have free will you can literally just not. You can just ignore it. You can just delete. You can just go for a drive at 3 am. You can just cancel. You can just jump on a plane. You can just drop that course and do what you want. You can just block. Unfollow. Disengage. Say yes. Ask them out.You have both free will and an ID. Add adult money to that equation and this world is yours.

If you are not their parent don't parent them? Why are you teaching a fully grown adult basic manners what are you doing. Why are you having relationship problems with people you are not in a relationship with what even is that. If someone has an issue with you it's THEIR job to tell you they have an issue with you and yours to choose whether or not you want to do something about it? Why are you *are you mad uwu 🥺* people if they are mad they can tell you? If not that's a them problem? At which point did you become everyone's moderator and how much are you getting paid? If it's not your child (or a child. Below 15) don't raise it?

If you're not a machine don't decode. If someone can't come at you straight that's a them problem. We respond to passive aggressiveness with literal logic. If someone wants to degrade you they have to come at you direct, not send subs ? At this big age we are still responding to sarcasm and backhanded shit. If you said you're running a bakery and uncle Andrew tries to degrade that by *oh and how much will that make* you give him actual statistics and move on. If girl *that dress is so pretty* when she means the opposite you just *I'd hope so* and move on. We don't decode underlying statements and meanings we give a literal answer and treat people like adults that mean exactly what they say. (PS, CoC has such a great video on this where they call it the child's reply method. Children don't read under they just answer. That's what we do we don't read under if someone has something to say, they say it direct).

Mind the business that pays you.

Argument is sibling and husband privilege everyone else is right and you are wrong. Stop needing people to validate your reality, trust yourself. Argument is just to feed your ego I know you know no one is changing their opinion because you *owned* them in some argument it just makes you feel like you're a big deal- get a degree it has the same effect plus credibility. Argument is sibling and husband privilege. Everyone else is right. You're wrong. You're sorry you breathed the same air as them .move on. Stop engaging your ego (and other's) and learn how to not get triggered. Your reality is real to you and you're the only person it needs to be real to. Let it go. Study if your ego needs pumping so bad. *Destroying* someone in an argument was an adolescent thing, grow up. Validate yourself and learn to trust your thoughts and feelings and interpretation of the world so you stop needing everyone to cosign to be okay. Be someone formidable so you stop needing to earn it by stepping everyone else down.

"Okay. And?" . See this statement? <- . This one right here. This, this is the one. Not even with others as much as with you. In your life. Okay he didn't text back. Okay , and? Okay you don't have enough money for it. True. And? Then what? What next ? And this is an actual question that needs a real answer not some faux bad bitch mantra. An actual answer, now what ? What then? What next?

We don't deal with problems we don't have. Here, in this house? In this house we cross that bridge when we get there, we don't anticipate there might be a bridge that we might need to cross and then we will need shoes and- stop creating problems to solve. Come back to the present. Come back to the room. Solve the problems you have now, move on. When you get there, you'll know what to do. You have adaptability and a working brain you'll be fine. You're not weak. You're not stupid. You're not a newborn. You've survived worse and there are such things a survival mechanisms that you were born with. What's the point of being stressed twice, now and then?

[tennessoui]

i think 2025 is the year i finally write a longform same age obikin fic where they're both jedi knights (ish) cause that's one trope i am still missing from my ao3 catalogue lol there are two au options and i'm going back and forth on which one i'd want to write.

option a is the baby's last mission au (tag here), where anakin tells his pal and confidante obi-wan that he's going to leave the order to be with his wife and obi-wan convinces him to do one more mission with him where they go undercover pretending to be married (because obi-wan has been in love with him for forever and he just wants one imaginary, fake memory to hold onto if anakin is going to leave him forever) (but then things get complicated, especially when anakin gets the feeling that obi-wan may be telling more of the truth than their cover story demands) (also maybe obi-wan finds out anakin married his wife using a cover name, so he real marries them with their real names out of spite and also jealousy that he probably deeply regrets later)

and option b is healer anakin au (tag here), where the jedi healers all wear blindfolds around their eyes to represent their mandate to heal whoever needs it regardless of allegiance or appearance or clan, and anakin and obi-wan grew up in the creche together before anakin was picked to be a healer. they don't get along at all now but they do start hate-fucking during the war after they keep getting deployed together, and their emotions get to be pretty tangled up and complicated (mostly because obi-wan can't forgive anakin for becoming a healer when all he wants is to see his eyes again) (anakin breaks his healer's vow of nonviolence and kills maul when he grievously wounds obi-wan. very bloody and over the top too. none of my anakins would ever be able to actually keep a vow of nonviolence. lmao)

[wonderllyyyy]

You just said everything I have ever wanted to say. I'd like to add!

As you said...so many cool things were removed, including the whole mystery theme of the book. We weren't supposed to know who the School Master was - in the movie he just casually dropped in the Theater, checking up on the kids. No more flying on a stymph to reach the tower - "let's just step here...invisible staircase all right!". There was no Circus (which was literally the pivotal point of the story), no "real" Trial (it was something pulled up to test Tedros and Sophie), no Halfway Bridge barrier (Agatha tricking the barrier is just ✨✨✨). Teachers with plot importance were also removed: SADER. Yuba, Pollux and Castor (they were nice to have around). There was absolutely no mention of Sophie's mother at all, not even a scene with Callis.

The casting choice for some characters were also funny. Agatha like you said, Anadil (she was albino and the actor was dark-skinned, removes all the vibes we get from her), Dot (I don't want to fat shame, but when she's described as "fat" then how come her actor is thinner than Anadil's), and Tedros (he was blonde, blue eyed, tanned, and in the movie he's just a sad brunette with brown eyes and pale ahh skin).

Finally someone points all of this out 🔥

(Anyways this whole post makes me want to become your mutual. Do you want to?)

why i don't like the netflix adaption of sge

i've watched the movie this weekend, and i have some thoughts to share:

the people in the village actually know about the school and the fairy tales. it's important because in the books it is one of the things that characterizes sophie the way she is. most kids have developed a fear of being selected for the school for good and evil, while sophie is anticipated to be kidnapped by the school master. she even bakes goods for him, feigns "good" demeanor, and discards all the protective mechanisms her father had constructed to keep her safe.

her father and to-be stepmother are portrayed inaccurately as well. they are simple, sane people. in the books, they never treat sophie really horrible. perhaps her father wanted a son instead of a daughter (we don't really find out if that is true or a part of sophie's broken worldview), but he still cares for her—he provides her with enough resources to do her strange make up routine every morning, he eats her gruesome food (yes, he complains, but not with an abusive tone at all, he just sounds tired of having to consume the vegan food he clearly hates), and he tries to prevent her from getting captured. and her stepmother is also a vaguely decent human being, and not a merciless, evil person.

the way sophie talks to people is very different. in the books, everything she did was to make her appear more "good", so she'd be taken to the school for good. she never actually had any motivation apart from her own wants. most people who watched the movie love sophie, but not because they think she is evil, but because they think that she is simply misunderstood. and in the book it's made extremely clear how false this is. sophie is jealous, cheats, manipulates, lies, finds joy in hurting others, kills, judges easily, only cares for her looks, feels no empathy or guilt, and rejects people who are trying to help her. and she doesn't do it because she is misunderstood and wants to find revenge/was taught to be that way/lived through a traumatic event. honestly, i find her pretty scary. book sophie would've killed movie sophie instantly.

agatha is also a point for me. first of all, her looks. and i'm not talking about the race of the actress (acting skills are what matters and she is a good actress), but about the way how they depicted her. agatha was supposed to look "hideous"—oily hair, watery eyes, grim face. people literally flinched before her in the books because of the way she looked (and treated herself accordingly.) but her movie version looks so pretty, and i mean that not in the objective way, but in the way that they didn't include the things that made her appear ugly in the books. they never let her grow and find out that she was always pretty, but nobody recognized it because she couldn't embrace her beauty. also, the thing about her being good is a thing. in the books we are thaught that regardless of her gruff, quiet, lonesome, and sorrowful personality, agatha still can be a good person. but in the movie she's just your average, nice teenage girl. there is no character depth. where is the mean, broken girl who seemed to hated everything, yet wanted to be good? where is the girl that wouldn't give up on sophie? where is the girl that always prioritized others? well, we never really got to see her in the movie.

agatha and tedros' relationship is an insta-love story instead of a slow burn. remember, in the books he hated her at first and literally wanted to kill her until like over 300 pages into the book. just saying. and in the movie, they are all nice to each other, like no? sophie was the one tedros had a crush on at first because he though that she was his would-be princess. (there was also no character depth on his side. he never overcomes his prejudices.)

they revealed stuff way too early and made the two female teachers enemies instead of friends. (also, why is jesper playing the evil gremlin?) that disappointed me because i loved their dynamic in the books.

all the little yet extremely important things were missing... the lessons yuba, professor sader's whole existence, the test about "being good" that agatha aces, so many scenes with the never girls, the ever girls being more evil than some nevers, all the lore.

it was not a bad movie (it's okay, i guess?), but it's a horryfing adaptation of the books.

[necroticblue]

a new fun idea for @amazingphil and @danielhowell: read homestuck in its entirety! fourteen and a half years after it started! it's gonna be fun trust me! : )

[plushie-lovey]

FINALLY!! At long last, I've gotten my hands on a Pumpkin Kitty, after a whole year of wanting and waiting.

Her name is Latte! (Short for Miss Pumpkin Spice Latte) You can also call her Miss Spice!

[vaguely-concerned]

I don't know what I love more, the fact that as rook you can make a statement in NO uncertain terms that you are NOT responsible one way or the other for the theological implications of the shit you're discovering in the 'regrets of the dread wolf' memories. not my jurisdiction. quite simply none of my business. not my chantry circus not my chantry monkeys. irrelevant to the matter at hand here we'll kill that god if we get to him he can get in line. or if the best thing about it is seeing the lone little 'lucanis approves' that pops up right after choosing it. corvid with a knife about to commit deicide keeping it real and sensibly, pragmatically, wilfully agnostic with me here in this magical lighthouse today

[ook-spam]

As someone who's lived in both countries as well as the USA I'd say that they're all equally racist but that their culture influences how that racism presents so you have to be mentally, and in worse cases--physically, prepared to deal w the different types. I'm non Black POC so I won't claim to know that exact experience, but since my siblings are White passing I do have some very direct experience with the contrast.

In the USA there's a large Black population and a set of common social understandings because of that. The acceptable ways to treat Black people have evolved a lot over the years, but in my understanding the difference in current attitudes has a lot to do with population numbers. It's not as socially acceptable to say and do some of the things a Japanese or Korean racist might do but the ways it does manifest are very.. American? I feel like I'm explaining this badly. Maybe the contrasting examples will help

In Korea and Japan racists are going to be more direct with comments, staring, etc but unless it's a particularly aggressive individual then most behavior will come from people having very little exposure to blackness and making the kind of ignorant assumptions that someone who's only seen black people on TV might make, which will feel weird to an American and is up to each individual to decide if they want to deal w or not. Most people often won't know enough about Black people or their history to make like, layered backhanded comments steeped in meaning, they'll just say some up front out of pocket shit that'll sound crazy if you're used to the comparative subtly of the West. This ramps up the further you get from big cities with significant foreign populations like Seoul or Tokyo. Especially in Japan. I had multiple ppl tell me directly that I was the first foreigner they'd ever seen in real life, and we were in a city of 100,000+. Mind you this was in 2018, but there's genuinely still that level of ignorance sometimes so it can be tough.

As for general cultural attitude, there is a crazy blatant idealization of not specifically Whiteness (or at least, it's not JUST an idealization of Whiteness since it's heavily mixed with ideas that were there long before colonization) but more of paleness, thinness and perfection that can be a lot to contend with. I'm only a few shades darker than the average east Asian, but for many East Asians they can become much paler if they avoid sun, use creams etc, so there's this idea that darkness is "fixable" if you just "put in the work" which really affected me as a kid since my lightest light was still darker than some people's deepest tan. I think it's in part because of this that White people get treated the way they do. I grew up with my siblings getting affection, praise and job offers for their Whiteness while I was treated like a normal kid so it's definitely it's own beast. I've seen a lot more open hostility from Korean and Japanese people towards like, Thai and Indonesians bc there's a much longer history of conflict and discrimination there, so I think it's just different

Idk. In the end every place has its ups and downs, so you have to decide on your own what's worth dealing with or not to you, but I would definitely encourage people to take the leap anyways if those trips are something you want and think you'd have fun on!! There's so much to gain from experiencing other cultures, even if each one comes with its own nastiness

Do you have any thoughts on visiting Japan or Korea as a POC? Should I be wary of the reports of how they treat darker skinned people?

Well first, they are also people of color, whether they act like it or not 😬

I mean 😅 I've accepted that going anywhere other than Africa will get me treated like I'm.. well, Black. I want to visit South Korea, and I've been told that the experience is really cool but just to expect that there will be places that both don't accept tourists (valid) and specifically Black people (invalid). And that people will likely stare at you. But again, that happens here too so 🤷🏾‍♀️

I mean, I wouldn't let antiblackness stop me from traveling the world, so you could go as a person of color! You should always be aware of the racial climate of the place you're entering, and move accordingly. But just because you look different doesn't mean you have to let people touch or ogle you or act like you're not human.

[thebirdandhersong]

in my you're on your own kid era again (I never left)

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

almost january which means it's almost st sebastian's feast day which means it's almost light yagami's death day which means it's almost february which means it's almost valentine's day which means im six months behind on all of my projects

[dxxtruction]

Part of me feels like if you enjoy and/or are involved in the fandom of IWTV, knowing how a rather significant part of the show is set in Dubai (a part of the UAE), you should be aware of, and taking action about what's going on in Sudan.

To explain: the UAE has been exploiting Sudan for its resources in gold (mostly), and in many ways actively fueling the war there to get it. Making the UAE a responsible party for the multiple humanitarian crisis happening there; over 6 million displaced peoples, genocidal massacres, extreme sexual violence, etc. - just look into it.

There's been a demand not to travel to the UAE/Dubai for this reason. Luckily, from what I gather they don't film those scenes on location, except for the aerial driving sequence in Season 1 episode 1. This would've also been before the war started in Sudan where this such demand wasn't in place (as far as I'm aware). Which is good for fans as it means enjoyment can just be critical and not reason to turn it off.

Anyway, just something to very much consider.

[astriiformes]

Had a really good conversation with my therapist yesterday that has left me feeling better about life & the future than I have in... months, honestly (which also has me feeling really good about her ability to help me continue sorting through things).

I was talking about my distress about the future and in particular what I'm going to do when I graduate, since grad school isn't the most stable option, and she pointed out that since I was spiraling over hypotheticals, maybe it made sense to simply make up my mind about the first step, since applying to grad school is hardly the same as committing to grad school. And she was so right. I am so good at feeling like I need to make the right, perfect decision -- especially after making mistakes with school in the past -- that I have been worrying myself into depressive spirals over what the "right" decision is here. But making up my mind to at least apply and find out what my options are is a decision, that will give me a lot more information in the long run than paralysis over if it's "okay" to apply at all.

It'll still take a lot of work, obviously, and l don't know if I'll even get in anywhere, much less actually commit to doing a PhD if I do. But it has taken such an incredible weight off my shoulders just to say "Okay, I am going to apply, what next?" Because it means I can put all that nervous energy to actual use! Instead of spiraling the next time I start thinking about my options in the future, I can go do research on different PhD programs (without feeling guilty the whole time, like I have been until now)! I can ask my favorite professors for advice! I can reach out to current grad students to ask what they think of their advisors! All of which is actually productive and will help me make the most informed choice I can if and when the time comes, instead of ruminating endlessly on what the "best" one is!

TL;DR -- my therapist is very smart and understands me and the things my brain gets stuck on in a big way, and her advice has dislodged literal months of extremely disordered thinking just like that. Because now I feel like I've made a choice and have something to work towards. And also like I can breathe.

[b-blushes]

let me be a hater for a second. generic complaining about how it's hot and the heat makes chronic illness stuff worse.

[ashanimus]

I mean, if I was deliberately ignorant about basically everything happening around me I would probably be significantly less depressed too

[moongothic]

I just

Where the fuck is the Cross Guild plotline going

Like Crocodile and Mihawk allowed Buggy to do his thing until now because getting rid of him wasn't nececary, but we've gotten to the point where Buggy has straight up riled up his men who are all behind him, not Crocodile and Mihawk, to go get One Piece, and while the two could easily wipe the floor with them, it just seems like it'd be a waste of everyone's time

I just can not imagine the two being at all willing to go along with Buggy on the quest for One Piece, not in a million years, since the other two's interests are literally the opposite, but with the way the men are riled up it's not like they'd be able to unconvince them to follow Crocodile instead

But also Buggy does have that ship ready

And didn't they imply the three remaining Seraphim have been sent to Empteebluffs???

What if the Seraphim do show up and it's up to the only two capable fighters in Cross Guild to deal with them and Buggy just flees with whatever crew he can muster while no one is looking because god knows it's his last chance???

But even if Crocodile and Mihawk abusing Buggy until he grew a spine was a required event to get Buggy to join the race for One Piece, it'd still be strange for Oda to make Cross Guild A Thing if it only gets disbanded soon after without anything else coming from it?? (Like if they get disbanded immidiately then why did they need to be established to begin with, if Crocodile and Mihawk have somewhere else to be/end up in some other situation then surely Oda could've skipped the Cross Guild-part)

So are Croco and Mihawk just going to go along with Buggy's plans because they can't be bothered to put up a fight (and if they're stuck on the ship with him and Buggy's crew it will be like two (three if you include Daz) against hundreds- again, the two could easily kill them all, but is it worth the effort???)

I just. Where the fuck is this plot thread going man

[imminent-danger-came]

I really am so sad I don't like isat. The themeing was very good

[vaguely-concerned]

it really is hilarious how little objective quality has to do with how much I'll love an RPG. larian makes games that are objectively very good, but don't really resonate with me personally when I play them, for whatever reason. bioware makes games of wildly erratic levels of quality that cause my soul to vibrate at pitches heard only by dolphins and god.