#the things i learn listening to the audio commentaries

[warpfactor9]

oh my god the original pitch for the 2nd tribbles episode (meant for the 3rd season of TOS, but eventually turned into More Tribbles, More Troubles for TAS) was that there was a predator variant of tribbles that reproduced just as quickly and they only found out they were predators when crew members suddenly started to disappear. can you even IMAGINE

[thesiltverses]

A very big thank you

I posted this on Patreon, but really wanted to share it here as well:

Post-show life begins

For a long while now I’ve been getting up at 4.30 or 5am, grabbing myself the first coffee of four, and then coming to sit at my desk.

I open up the assembly cut of the newest TSV episode.

I listen to it, I try and pin down which scenes I need to be going back over today. I try and push through the entire morning without a break because when the momentum stalls, that’s what kills your release schedule. (I also worry endlessly about just how much of my hair is falling out, and how spending 12 hours a day wearing headphones could be contributing to that.)

Today was different. I still woke up early - it’s a hard habit to shake off, and probably a useful one going forward. But I didn’t go to my desk, and I didn’t put my headphones on.

I went to the rocking chair we bought for our son when he comes, and I sat there - gently swaying and trying not to spill my coffee all over it, because for some reason it’s fucking beige - and looked out over the city skyline. 

I slugged back my coffee surrounded by all the stuff we’ve panic-bought for the baby, and I got to take all of it in - washcloths and the changing table and romper suits - with a sudden focus and a clarity and a rising excitement that I really hadn’t allowed myself to feel until today, because until today the work was still unfinished and there was still much left to be done.

All at once I felt very free, and fully sated, and happy and proud for everything that’s coming next.

There’s so much to feel grateful for from the past three years of working on this show. But what’s probably going to sit with me the most is being able to arrive at that moment and those feelings today, - and we have all of you incredible people to thank for that.

Not just in terms of listenership or financial support, although that’s been truly invaluable and a lifeline for us that’s enabled us to actually make the show - but also your enthusiasm, your passion, your jokes and comments and everything that’s helped to keep us motivated and working on it.

So - with as much feeling as words can convey, thank you so, so much for everything.

What’s coming next, in rough order

#1: Parentdom is going to take over our lives for a while! I also want to write the final Patreon episode commentaries in the next few days, while I have the time and the clear memories. #2: The next thing we’ll organise will be the post-season Q&A (we’d also like to do some kind of off-camera cast party if we can make schedules work, just to say thank you to our amazing VAs and celebrate with them). Please do ask us questions! #3: We have long-unfinished commitments to the Patreon which I need to complete: the last two episodes of So Long, Good Luck, and rounding off Sid Wright’s story. As ever, huge thank-yous for your patience with these; they’ve just been impossible to polish off while also working on the main show so much. #4: Something I’ve been thinking about for a long time is the possibility of going back to Season 1 and redesigning it from scratch to try and bring it closer in style to S2 and S3. We have the raw audio files - some of the mic quality will just be rough no matter what, but we can certainly try.  This is something I want to be conscientious and careful about; I very much want to respect the sound design work that’s already taken place, and ensure we’re not overriding anything. But I do know that the initial quality still sometimes puts new listeners off; we were learning a lot about direction and mastering from scratch, and our designers were working with limited budget and a total lack of plugins, so there’s simply a lot more we can achieve now. (This would also be a good opportunity for me to finally rework the transcripts, another fallen hurdle). #5: A few months back, we were contacted by a literary agent in NYC who was interested in us adapting the show into a series of novels. There’s a long road ahead to actually get published, but I'm thrilled to say that I have signed with them and I’m really excited to hopefully start work on the first book once I’ve settled into dad-dom. I’ll need to check what’s possible, but if it doesn’t interfere with any contract condition I’d obviously love to share excerpts on here as it’s written. #6: Then there’ll also be another larger audiodrama project - we’ve spoken about the different possibilities before! Excited to get started on our final choice.

Just one last word about endings

God, endings are scary. Because endings are impossible.

How many serialised stories actually end in a way that’s received unequivocally well?  People yelled at The Sopranos for its ambiguity and open-endedness. People criticised Breaking Bad for treating Walt too sympathetically at the end and relying on a generic mob of snarling Nazis to act as his final foe.

Endings are either too pat and neat, or too inconclusive to be satisfying, or too surreal and dreamlike, or they simply make what feels like the wrong choices for the characters we care about. We’re all caught in that barbed wire, creators and audience alike, weighed down by the baggage of what’s come before and we've already spent so much time anticipating the infinite possibilities of how it could all turn out - it’s like we can’t get free of the story that’s trying to end. 

And the beautiful thing about these longform, iterative works is that they insist upon becoming completely ungovernable. No matter how much of a planner the creator claims to be, how much prepwork they carry out - they were never really in control. There’s spontaneity and surprises and dead ends and beautiful distractions that come spilling out along the way (I was baffled and delighted to learn that people really - at the end of the show, with such limited time to spare - wanted to find out what had happened to Eddie*). 

So they can’t end. Not really. There’s too much wonderful mess in them to ever be reasonably disentangled.

And, of course, for every ending people remember with frustration or dissatisfaction, there’s another hundred endings that nobody remembers at all, because we lost our enthusiasm along the way and it feels better to keep going back to the start and avoiding the slow decline. (Who the fuck remembers how the umpteenth X-Files reboot ended? What increasingly tired post-modern antics was Alan Moore getting up to in the final League of Extraordinary Gentlemen books?). I really just didn’t want the show to end up in that latter category.

All of that probably sounds like I’m warding off criticism about the show's ending, but for me it’s actually been the opposite. 

For an ending which is all about narrative dissatisfaction, and failed potential and missed opportunities, and how we need to come to terms with the lack of existential fairness and certainty and narrative control in our lives and keep ploughing forward all the same for as long as we possibly can, I’m massively stunned at just how positive the reception has been on here and elsewhere, and that’s something I’m actively having to process, because I think I was fearfully anticipating much more pushback.

But, look - the Eskew finale was originally quite poorly-received and then people came back around to it over time. So I’m not going to pat myself on the back too hard, because maybe it’ll ultimately be the opposite with this show, and that’s OK. For 200 years everyone was convinced King Lear was improved by having everyone survive at the end and get married. Endings take time to settle into their final condition.

For now, I am incredibly relieved that the ending we chose seems to have landed for most people, and I’m incredibly grateful for the lovely messages we’ve got about it and for the trust in us that you’ve all shown throughout the story.

So, yeah, let’s end with another thank you, because that’s what I feel so deeply and so forcefully at this point.

Thank you so much again, and speak soon.

Jon

*My take? We’ve established that the guy is in some kind of blue-collar job and has been pushed into constant overtime due to the reduced workforce. We’ve seen that the so-called ‘national holiday’ doesn’t actually rescue workers from their commitments. So I personally imagine that Eddie was working during the parade somewhere on the city outskirts, and is alive and well.

[h0neytalk]

Italian Audio/Books/Videos Masterlist

Now that I’m at the upper A2/lower B1 level for Italian, I figured I’d compile a quick list of where I’ve found the best stuff to read and listen to.

E-Books and Audiobooks

Kobo Rakuten Italia — where I buy my ebooks. You can read them online, in the app, or download them and [redacted] to export them elsewhere. Has a monthly unlimited subscription that functions like a combo Kindle/Audible subscription.

Storytel — monthly subscription for unlimited access to audiobooks.

YouTube

Learn Italian With Lucrezia — truly the savior of anyone learning Italian. My favorite videos are her Q&As, vlogs, and “n basic phrases you need to know.” I don’t get much out of her grammar explainer videos but that’s because of who I am as a person.

NovaLectio — commentary style mini documentaries. I export them to LingQ to read before watching and it helps me parse what’s going on. Also, they upload some videos dubbed in English so you can watch both.

Vogue Italia — celebrity interviews and fashion content. About 50/50 Italian and English but obviously high production value.

ArtandtheCities — criminally underrated channel imo. 10-15 minute art history/industry videos by an art historian. Super interesting, she’s easy to understand, and has captions.

Chef Max Mariola — utter chaos but fun. A Roman chef cooking various dishes, sometimes with a guest. Gives very “your uncle is hosting Thanksgiving and forgot until yesterday” vibes but in the best way.

TV/Movies/Documentaries

RaiPlay (free!) — Italian version of PBS. Lots of documentaries and some kind of goofy soap operas/narrative shows. You can also watch live TV.

Podcasts and Radio

RaiPlay Sound — basically NPR. Also free! You can find podcasts, live radio stations, audiobooks, and even audio descriptions of movies and TV shows.

Articles

Formula 1 Italia — Formula 1 news. I’m a big Ferrari fan but they cover a lot of news/current events (as long as they can connect it to a driver). The writing is short and to the point so it’s easy to parse for beginners. And honestly the drama is better than a lot of TV shows.

Stile Arte — long, more complex articles about art and archaeology. Cannot recommend it enough if you have an interest in any of those things. There are some straightforward history articles at the B1/B2 level, and also some more creative essays that push C1.

Corriere della Sera — daily news site. I started reading the news only in Italian to keep me from doom scrolling because America is terrifying. This is just the site I have ended up using a lot. Mostly because it’s easy to navigate and they have a ton of content.

[johntayjinf]

take me on

rrthiel - athletic (ym2151 + ymz280b)

i was inspired so i wrote a vocal mix! ack

for anyone who wants the commentary:

the pain of vocal production on a tracker with simple detuning controls

no, genuinely i can't tell you how frustrating the vocals were to tune; first i set the entire project to 435hz (440 is the default tuning that every single daw in existence uses), but the consequence of that is that it also lightly detuned every single sample, making timing very difficult to manage. i felt like the devil having to artificially extend my vocals to fit both the timing and get the tuning right, but you win some you lose some i guess.

on top of that i feel very unsure about my own vocal performance and there'd be a few noticeable tuning mistakes, i think? i mean before i tuned them again tonight they were even worse, but apparently the trick to that is just to listen to them outside my headphones; because listening to the lower frequencies to tune vocals isn't going to give great results. or maybe that's just me and my habits. my shit phone audio that exposed the mid frequencies did a good job at telling me that, "hey, you tune terrible for a gal that likes to say she does music production to people when you like silly video games and music that came out before you were even conceived"

venus theory made a very good point about having a "shitbox" (like, a boombox that is shit) so it exposes frequencies you would've never heard otherwise, and that was quite the enlightening experience to say the least. i wouldn't say my tuning is terrible; frankly i think it's fairly okay for someone with informal training and practice, but i genuinely didn't expect to go so out of tune in my one (yes, one) take of the main vocals... and then i learnt that way that the voice that you think you're singing varies widely with what's actually produced from your vocal cords, your mouth shape, and how much air you put into it. needless to say this was a really good, and *horrifying* learning experience, and hopefully this means more vocal covers and originals in the future.

as for the lyrics, i was going for the "mindless 80s love song" cheesy lovey dovey kind, and was inspired slowly after a few listens of the og song. it's not my first time writing english lyrics, but it's fair to say that it's really rare coming from me.

Lyrics

sometimes i feel like i'm afraid of heights

(don't look down now)

sometimes i feel like i wanna hold you tight

oh you would never know the sight,

because right now we're so high we could almost die

but now you're here with me, i'm like on ecstasy

if anything ever happens i won't mind

'cause with the two of us, our hearts combined

we'll always have our time to shine

together we can find a place or run away

it's okay

you could pretend that we would be so far

but i will find my way 'cause you're my north star

i hope that you and i are on par

i don't wanna put my feelings in a jar

is it just my mind that is pacing, my chest that is aching

the things i wanna say could be said everyday

is it just my heart that is racing, the love we'll be sharing

and we will never say goodbye

you see that all is fine,

now put your worries all aside

[guitar solo]

'cause with the two of us, our hearts combined

we'll always have our time to shine

together we can find a place or run away

it's okay

you could pretend that we would be so far

but i will find my way 'cause you're my north star

i hope that you and i are on par

i don't wanna put my feelings in a jar

is it just my mind that is pacing, my chest that is aching

the memories we'll make will never fade

is it just my heart that is racing, the love we'll be sharing

and i will always play my part

we should take on the charts,

or maybe begin from the start

[fishenjoyer1]

I'm just starting to get into marine bio, and I found your blog today and I love it so much!! Do you have any recommendations of where I can learn stuff? (I hunger for fish knowledge)

It's always wonderful when someone else starts getting into marine bio, I'm honored to share resources!

Texts:

I personally learned a lot of what I now know from a series of textbooks I've picked up over the years, here some of my personal favorites!

Biological Oceanography An Introduction by Carol M. Lalli & Timothy R. Parsons: I personally found this textbook wonderful! Written very clearly and easy to understand, and contains summaries at the end of each chapter. Here is my favorite used&new book sellers results for this book. Here is the book on internet archive.

Marine Ecology: Processes, Systems, and Impacts by Michael J. Kaiser, Martin J. Attrill, & Simon Jennings: Covers much of the same things as biological oceanography, but valuable on its own. Here is the link to buy a copy for cheap. Here is the book on internet archive.

Limnology: Lake and River Ecosystems by Robert G. Wetzel: I personally found this the most dull textbook of my life, but, it is written very well. The chapters end with summaries also, which makes it easier to study, and this book is rather well renowned in freshwater studies. Here to buy a copy on my favorite book website. Here to read on internet archive (I'm relatively uncertain that its inaccessible) so Here is a preview on google books. (maybe I'll find the time to scan my copy and put it in a google drive)

The Diversity Of Fishes: Biology, Evolution, and Ecology by Douglas E. Facey, Brian W. Bowen, Bruce B. Collette, & Gene S. Helfman: I adore this textbook, it is easy to read and comprehend, a personal favorite. Not only that, it is wonderful for understanding fish. Here you can buy it (it's a bit pricey, so I recommend just using the internet archive). Here you can find it on internet archive.

Methods for Fish Biology by Stephen Midway, Caleb Hasler, and Prosanta Chakrabarty: A bit dense and hard to read, but it's a wonderful text on understanding how to do research, and how a lot of farming and understanding of fish is done. Here to buy it. Here to read it on internet archive

All the other textbooks I own are about marine mammals, so I'll recommend them if asked, but you seem more interested in fish and aquatic environments.

Audio:

I personally struggle to listen to informational audio and podcasts, so this section is a bit threadbare

The Marine Mammal Science podcoast by The Society for Marine Mammalogy here

Marine Biology in 5 minutes podcast here

Oceanlovers podcast here

The Deep-Sea Podcast here

Video:

I have some great recommendations I'm a personal fan of here!

I personally really enjoy Natural World Facts, he has some wonderful playlists and documentaries on the deep sea, different environments, animals, and ecosystems there.

MBARI (the Monterey Bay Aquarium Research Institute) Has wonderful videos with their discoveries and research,

The Nautilus live, which does frequent live streams as they're exploring the ocean with ROVs and a running commentary from the staff!

The octopus lady does some good work, I haven't watched the most of her but she's relatively fun to put in the background to just generally learn about things marine

I also enjoy the work of AVNJ Fish Biologist, who does a lot less serious scientific videos, but he also has a video series on ichthyology I'm fond of so, check that out here!

Other:

when doing fish of the day, some sources have continually come back again and again, I'll list these off first.

Wikipedia: I personally find the wikipedia is a good resource, but it never gives the full picture when your trying to learn. Do not base your knowledge only on wikipedia, i recommend trying to read through some of the sources that wikipedia has listed on a topic, and if you are new to a subject I suggest trying to find introductory textbook before plunging in head first. I find that wikipedia is wonderful at convincing you that you know what its talking about, as it's very easy to just read without knowing the definition for a small handful of words. But, you will quickly come to realize at some point or another that you understood less than you think. As much as it is a wonderful tool, don't use it exclusive well learning

WoRMS- World Registrar of Marine Species has basic info and distinguishes between species, along with some good research, I'd recommend checking them out!

Fishbase! contains good information on most fish

.gov websites, and websites that align with governments across the world can be trusted for fish purposes mostly, the NOAA is a great resource for learning and searching info on animals, as is the Monterey Bay Aquarium

If you're looking to find a scientific paper, I recommend searching on google scholar, as it will show you which you can access the pdf of without paying.

And, if your looking to come into contact with papers you just cant seem to find the pdf of, I would recommend Scihub other than scihub, you can also look for any number of things locked behind a paywall with this niffty website I found ! A lot of resources there.

That's everything I can think of! Have a good time learning ! :)

[seventh-district]

Could've left me just the way you found me, but you came and put your wings around me. You went out of your way, to fix what you didn't break.

This song is so incredibly Sam & Darlin' coded and no one can tell me otherwise.

[lots of lyrical analysis below the cut] [there's also a short little fanfic blurb of them stargazing down there too (this post got really out of hand lmao)]

For those not fully caught up, note that the following commentary contains various spoilers for Sam and Darlin's stories.

Note: Unfortunately this song is gendered, using the word 'girl' several times. Which sucks a little bit for immersion purposes, not only for keeping Darlin' gender-neutral, but also because I see this song as a duet between them, and Darlin' obviously wouldn't be addressing Sam with the word 'girl' either. So! As with most songs on their playlist, we're just gonna mentally omit any gendered terms we come across.

Side note: Frustratingly, this is one of those songs that didn't really even need to gender the subject in the first place. No part of the story or message is lost without it. But alas, many songs are like that, and so the playlist-makers of the world shall continue to suffer. [/lh]

Anyways, preamble's over. It's lyric time now yay!

Sam's Part

I was a ten-year train wreck

Technically for Sam I suppose it was 13 years, but ten is close enough (and 'ten' admittedly flows a lot better in the rhythm of the song than 'thirteen' would.) Anyways, we're not here to split hairs, (I have to remind myself), we're just here to point out similarities.

In Sam's Dec. '22 HBW, he says "For the last 13 years or so I haven't had to care too much about how I look. Seemed a little redundant after turnin', considerin' I didn't wanna be around much'a anybody anyway."

I think he's mentioned or alluded to that roughly 13 year period of time more than once, but that's the one I remember best so it's the example I'm using. There's still about 4 Sam audios I've yet to listen to as of making this post, so if I'm missing some Key Lore I'll edit this later. But for now, I don't think Sam has given many specifics on exactly how bad things got during that time. Luckily, 'train wreck' is a pretty broad and subjective term, so it easily covers any degree to which he may have fallen apart during those years.

It also feels like a very 'him' way of quickly brushing over the details of his past/his hurt, as he seems to tend to do with Darlin', (not all the time ofc but it's still something I've noticed) putting his own hurt on the backburner to prioritize and attend to theirs. Even outside of his dynamic with them, I think as a healer, it's something he learned to do. And now he does it with everyone. Put on a brave face, compartmentalize things and unpack them later, etc. I could go on and on but there'll be time for that in other posts I'm sure. For now, lets get back to the song at hand.

With a last-call longneck

Due to personal reasons, I've yet to decide if I want to HC him as having used alcohol as a coping mechanism during that time. I don't recall him having mentioned alcohol much, if at all, (maybe one mention of whiskey that I don't have time to find right now) so I don't think it's necessarily canon that he did, but it's certainly possible. My personal preferences aside, I'll admit it makes for some good additional angst. (And- self-indulgently- it makes some other songs on my playlist for them more fitting.) So, for the sake of this song, let's imagine that he did.

I was searchin', I'd been hurt real bad

This one feels pretty self-explanatory given what Alexis did, (and, if you wanna get even angstier with it, whatever his family did earlier on in his life) so there isn't much commentary to add on my end.

I HC that in spite of 'not wanting to be around anybody', he- like Darlin- still had a tiny part of himself buried deep down that was, in a way, 'searching' for someone to find solace in. (No this isn't me projecting onto them both haha what are you talking about-)

Movin' on, gettin' sidetracked One step forward and five back

This is generally applicable enough that I don't feel the need to give too much of a specific example. Anyone who's recovered or is recovering from trauma knows this non-linear, back-and-forth struggle well already, and I'm sure he was no stranger to it.

If I were to give some examples though, I could point to Darlin's (and subsequently, Sam's) encounter with Alexis at the summit, or the shit that Quinn dredged up about Fredrick and threw at Sam in the interrogation room. Those are both more recent examples and I imagine these lines of the song to be coming from a place of him prior to meeting Darlin', but still, they're some instances where I'm sure he felt like the past was pulling him back in. I'm sure that there's been many throughout those 13 years that we were never witness to.

Not your fault, I was scared to fall

This line reminds me of their 'Cuddles and Confessions' audio. I don't think he ever explicitly said he was 'scared' per se, so afaik there's no specific line I can quote, but in that and every audio prior, he was obviously hesitant to admit, perhaps even to himself, that he was gradually falling for them. Even after the initial confession, there's certain limits of his (e.g. biting) that he carries for far longer, and some that I (and others) HC that he'll carry forever. So this line feels to me like him reassuring Darlin' that his reluctance isn't the fault of them, but his past.

Darlin's Part

You were the star in the pitch black Shine the way on the way back

We don't have any canon instances of them comparing Sam to a star, but I can see it being something they'd say (perhaps less poetically, but the sentiment would be there) one night while laying up on their roof watching the stars with him. Maybe they're dead-tired, talking nonsense with lidded eyes at the end of a long day, fighting sleep in favor of more time spent with him.

"What- what're you pointin' at Darlin'?"

Their hazy focus is trained on the brightest star visible in their line of sight, arm stretched out to the sky above them. "That really bright one, to the... to the left."

Sam does his best to follow their less-than-specific directions of 'to the left', their pointed finger doing little to help given the difference in perspective. Luckily, after all these years, he knows this stretch of night sky like the back of his hand, so it isn't hard to locate the brightest one. Ghosting his fingers up along their arm, he takes their hand in his and brings it back down to earth. "Okay, yeah, I see it now. What about it though?"

"That's you." They say, matter-of-factly.

"That's me?" He questions, humor in his tone.

"Mhm." They nod with finality, blinking slow.

Sam considers the odd statement for a moment before gently correcting them. "I'm uh, I'm pretty sure that's Sirius, actually."

They scoff. "I am being serious."

Sam stifles a laugh into their hair. "No- no I mean- like... what's another name for it... Oh! It's also called the Dog Star."

"C'mon Sam, at least call it the Wolf Star if you're trying to turn this around on me..."

He shakes his head and readies himself to explain further, but they cut him off before he can start. "But no- no, this one isn't about me. That's you."

He decides to play along, finding something endearing in their overtired nonsense. "Okay... then would'ja be so kind as to explain to this confused old man just how, or why that star is me?"

Their frown is audible in their voice as they latch onto the wrong part of his sentence. "You're not old, Sam. ...Do I need to tell Asher to kick the jokes down a notch?"

He smiles at their over-protectivity. "There'll be no need for that, now. Was just a joke, darlin', I promise."

They huff, but thankfully shift focus back to the prior topic. "It's... I dunno. It's just you, Sam. It's... bright. Light. Something warm, out there in the cold dark. Standing out amongst all the rest. Calling to me, stealing my attention. I... I didn't come out here looking for it, but there it is. ...There you were. In the dark. The only bright thing I'd seen in... fuck, in years. Years of chasing fleeting warmth, tripping over myself in the pitch black, falling into... places 'n people I shouldn't have. You were the light in that darkness. Even there, surrounded by the ghost of him. You outshone it. Your warmth didn't hurt. I didn't have to squint when I looked at you. You weren't the blinding sun. You were the brightest star I'd ever seen. You guided me back home."

In the back of their mind, they recall something they once heard, something about light, and time, and distance. Space. Something about... how you can see a star that's already burnt out, because it's light hasn't reached earth yet. The ghost of a star that's already died. Only still perceptible thanks to time, and distance.

They remember Sam's words, once whispered to them on this very roof.

"Whatever your choice is... I'm not gonna live forever. I made that decision a long time ago."

They think about dead stars.

They think about time.

"...-lin'? Darlin'?" Sam's calloused hand slides up their forearm, pulling them out of their thoughts. "There you are. Think I lost ya' for a minute there... you good?"

They look up at Sam, concern creasing his features, shadows cast across his face from the light of the dying stars above him.

They reach out, pulling him down into them. Burying their face into his collar, Sam's concern grows when he feels it saturate with tears. A human might struggle to hear their words, muffled against the thick fabric, but his hearing catches it just fine.

"Don't burn out too quick. Please. I still need you here. I don't- I don't wanna be left in the dark again. Please, please Sam. Don't leave me here. I'm not selfish enough to ask you for forever, but please. Not yet. Not yet. Not yet."

.......Whoopsies! Really, genuinely didn't mean to improv an entire scene there, good god. Also didn't mean to swerve hard into angst at the end but uh. that's what came out! so I'm rolling with it lmao. Aaanyways let's move on, it's getting late and this is a song analysis post, not a fic.

Out of nowhere, answered all my prayers

'Out of nowhere' reminds me of Sam's words from the same HBW video I referenced earlier. "You came into my life like a damn wreckin' ball. There was no preparing for that, clothing or otherwise." While those were Sam's words, not Darlin's, I still feel like they feel similarly to how suddenly Sam came into their life as well. (Not in a bad way, mind you!)

[the significance of 'answered all my prayers' edges into my own personal more headcanon-y/personal/OC-ified Darlin' territory, so we can just gloss over this one for the sake of at least attempting to keep this more universally applicable]

Picked up the towel that I threw in Took in a heart that was ruined

Again, largely self-explanatory I feel. (*proceeds to explain anyways*) I imagine that Darlin' was at the point of throwing in the towel, hellbent on a solo-mission to find Quinn regardless of the danger it posed to them. I doubt they were looking toward the future anymore, (to reference Sam,) fully willing to throw themself at their problems until they really did break.

The specific use of 'ruined' hits hard here, because after everything they went through with Quinn, and especially after he recounted it all to Sam in that interrogation room, I imagine that they really, truly did feel ruined.

Showed me the past ain't a tattoo Loved me even when you didn't have to

These lines in particular make me sick with emotion every time I hear this song, because I feel like they hit the nail on the head for how Darlin' feels.

I'll be here citing various quotes all night that I feel showcase that sentiment, but we don't have time for that! So instead I'm just pointing to the entirety of 'Quinn's Aftermath' video, and leaving you with this single quote from it.

"Everything that he said reflects nothin' on you, and everything on him."

Equally Applicable Lines

And I don't know why Why you saw something in me, baby But you saw right through All the pain, and you came and saved me Yeah, I know you didn't leave me lonely Weren't the one that put the heartbreak on me Picked up the pieces It wasn't the mess that you made Could've left me just the way you found me But you came and put your wings around me You went out of your way To fix what you didn't break

Again, I think these lines are all pretty self-explanatory, and are just as accurate coming from either one of them. To me, at least, their entire dynamic is that they saved each other, in their own ways.

(But I will admit, the final verses about 'going out of your way to fix what you didn't break' are definitely conjuring up memories of Sam in the early days, literally going out of his way to visit and heal Darlin' after their fight with the two vamps. In general, his continued/repeated healing of them after they once again hurt themselves is the very literal definition of fixing what he didn't break.

But! While we may have more blatant examples of Sam being 'the fixer' so to speak, I think he'd argue that Darlin' has done plenty fixing of their own. Physical wounds aren't the only things that need healing, after all.)

-------

[shameless self-promo of my Sam & Darlin' playlist for those few of u interested enough to make it to the very end of this wall of text. if u liked this then u might like some of the other songs on there soooo maybe go check it out and maybe perhaps give it a follow so i can get a little serotonin boost or dopamine or whatever the chemical is that's released when Number Go Up. ...okay that's it i hope u enjoyed my fixation-induced ramblings! thank u and goodnight]

[eyreguide]

Storytime for Grownups - a podcast reading of Jane Eyre

I recently received an email from Faith Moore, creator and podcaster of Storytime for Grownups, who is releasing a free podcast audiobook version of Jane Eyre - with commentary to help readers understand some of the out-dated references and words. I just started listening to the show and love Faith's voice for Jane - it's very welcoming and serene. And this seems like something all readers and Jane Eyre fans can enjoy - for the fans it's nice to hear someone read the story with background information, and for any new or young readers this might be a great way to understand the story better as they listen. I asked Faith some questions about her experience reading Jane Eyre and her podcast. Please enjoy the mini-interview below, and listen to her show wherever you find podcasts!

1. What is your "Jane Eyre" origin story?  When/Why did you first read the novel and what were your first impressions?

I think I was around twelve years old when I first read Jane Eyre. It wasn’t at all the kind of book that I normally read at that age. I loved to read, but I struggled with “old fashioned” books. The language always felt inaccessible to me and I could never really get into the classics—I was much more comfortable with The Babysitter’s Club or Matilda. But my family took me to see a stage production of Jane Eyre and I absolutely loved it. I fell immediately in love with Mr. Rochester and could tell—at a visceral level—that this was a great story. So I found a copy of the book on my parents’ bookshelf, pulled it down, and began to read. The things we do for love—love of Mr. Rochester I mean! The language was still really hard for me to understand, the bits of the plot that didn’t involve Mr. Rochester dragged, but it was all worth it for those Jane and Rochester scenes. I read the whole thing and I’ve never looked back. And, over time—and many re-readings—I’ve come to love the book in its entirety. To my mind, it’s a work of genius. 

2. Favorite quote from Jane Eyre (you can pick just the first one that pops into your mind!)

I return to the proposal scene again and again. The ribbon bookmark in my favorite copy of the book (I own four copies) always marks it. 

“Are you in earnest? Do you truly love me? Do you sincerely wish me to be your wife?”

“I do; and if an oath is necessary to satisfy you, I swear it.”

“Then, sir, I will marry you.”

“Edward—my little wife!”

“Dear Edward!”

“Come to me—come to me entirely now,” said he; and added, in his deepest tone, speaking in my ear as his cheek was laid on mine, “Make my happiness—I will make yours.”

3. What made you decide to start Storytime for Grownups and have you podcasted before?

This is my first podcast! The idea for the show came to me because of my own struggles with reading the classics. You’re always being told you ought to read the classics—and you should!—but what if you literally can’t? My first idea was to somehow “translate” the old-fashioned language of classic books into modern English. But I came to feel that too much would be lost—the atmosphere and the characters are built through the language as it’s written. But then I realized that when I was an elementary school teacher, one of my favorite times in the day was storytime. When you read aloud to your students, you pause from time to time to make sure they’re still with you. You define a word, you summarize, you comment on the action. And I thought: I could do that for grownups with the classics! Each season of Storytime for Grownups, I read a book aloud, one chapter per episode. As I read, I pause from time to time to give brief explanations that make it easier to follow along. It’s like an audio book with built-in notes. Season 1 is Jane Eyre!

4. What is the most interesting thing you've learned so far while digging into the background or literary composition of Jane Eyre?

One of my favorite parts of the show is that listeners write in to ask questions about each chapter and I feature one or two questions at the start of each episode. The questions have been amazing and they’ve prompted me to delve really deeply into the text—even more deeply than I ever have before! One really interesting aspect that I’d never really delved very deeply into before is the notion of the supernatural and fairy tales/fairy stories. It’s a huge theme within Jane and Rochester’s relationship and I think it relates in a really fascinating way to Brontë’s exploration of religion and spirituality which flows throughout the entire book. 

Storytime for Grownups - Listen now!

[whipplefilter]

Whipple. I want to start watching NASCAR but I have no cable or any kind of sports streaming service. We're not really a sports family. D8 Can I see anything on Youtube or whatnot? (I recently listened to my NASCAR fan uncle explain the mechanics of a race and I was surprised my attention stayed and I fully understood what he was saying. 😂 That's gotta mean something.)

I am always in favor of people getting into NASCAR! This coming weekend is the first week of the 2023 Playoffs Season, so no time like the present, I say!

NASCAR Classics

As this year is the 75th anniversary of NASCAR, they just opened up a massive library of archived race footage, with what they believe are the Top 75 Races of all time pulled out and highlighted.

YouTube Full Race Replays

Pretty quickly after the race (I want to say the day after), NASCAR puts the full replay up on their YouTube channel. These are kind of hard to follow because they're raw camera footage and don't include any of the graphics (displaying the running order, for example), but is also a great resource. They take the commercials out, though, so you get to see what the cameras were looking at while the TV was playing Wendy's ads!

Live, Real-Time Race Broadcasts

Live, real-time race broadcasts are hosted across a variety of networks. The first half of the season airs on Fox and FS1, and the second half on NBC and USA. Personally, I access it through a SlingTV subscription that I've made the decision to pay for, though if it didn't cost $30 more per month I think paying for Hulu Live TV would be better.

MRN (the Motor Racing Network) also streams (for free!!) live radio play-by-play for races, which you can access in a number of ways, among them the NASCAR.Com website, the NASCAR app, and probably MRN's own website as well. You won't get the picture, but the MRN announcers and commentators are EXTREMELY good at what they do, and generally agreed to offer much better race commentary than what's on TV, even if it doesn't come with a visual. There are people who watch the race on mute with the MRN coverage playing instead!

Supplementary Media

Fox and NBC both host regular weekday NASCAR TV programming (talking about the season, drivers, etc.), and they upload the audio of these shows up as Podcasts for free. If you're interested in learning more about how racing gets talked about, and the personalities that shape it, this is a great free option, as well!

Fox creates a "Radioactive" segment every Tuesday that they put up on YouTube that offers race highlights and snippets of team radio during the race--these are a great recap of a race and can often be pretty colorful/entertaining/even iconic.

NASCAR has a surprising number of really solid journalists, who produce both paid and free content online. Matt Weaver, Jeff Gluck, Aaron Bearden, Dustin Long, and Nate Ryan are all solid reporters, and refreshing voices in the face of a lot of clickbait and uh, poor journalism. XD

She's not officially a NASCAR journalist--she is a regular journalist who likes NASCAR--but Matt Weaver's partner, Cassie Fambro, also tends to be a solid source of NASCAR commentary on Twitter.

--

Definitely feel free to drop by and talk about things you're enjoying, ask any questions you might have, react, etc.!! Welcome to NASCAR!

[acaplaya-musings]

So like I knew that VoicePlay were taking the month of July off for break/vacation (or at least Eli, Cesar, and Layne were - Geoff was still mostly working, apparently), and I knew that The Way You Make Me Feel was filmed back in May, not long after the filming for Classical Chaos, so they could still have a full-length thing to release in July, yeah? Well I thought that we wouldn't be getting any full-length VoicePlay stuff in August because of the month break, and in fact I'm fairly sure they said basically that in their June webchat! But apparently they got some recording and filming done in June as well, and here we are! With a full-length video in August! Well actually I'm typing this the day before the Patreon Premiere (yeah Patreon has their own scheduled premiere option as well - it's a relatively new feature), and it's only July 24th for me!

But anyway, right off the back of Geoff doing a full-length (and then some) version of one of his Shorts for the first time ever, we have VoicePlay doing a full-length version of one of their Minis for the first time ever! (Wellerman doesn't count does it?). I won't lie, of all the Minis for VoicePlay to choose to extend, I wouldn't have actually picked this one - the Mini isn't exactly one that stuck in my brain, and I think I only listened to it once or twice. BUT I have learned full well by now to Never Doubt VoicePlay! Ever! They always deliver! And obviously they can do so much more in a full-length than with a Mini!

ADDITION FROM PRESENT DAY ME: I won't be posting any thoughts/commentary post tomorrow about the video/cover (I definitely like it of course, but I'm not a music expert and I can't always think of much to say about song covers), but I might maybe maybe be making a Voiceplay Visuals post for this video. Maybe, haven't fully decided yet, I need to watch the video again before I make up my mind. But anyway, it's a wonderfully cool take on such a classic song, and this is definitely going into my Voiceplay/Geoff Spotify playlist once the audio track appears!

[dare0451]

hi miss dare! i'm a big fan of your work in podfeels. i was wondering, what are your inspirations in regards to the audio medium? any audio dramas you've been enjoying lately?

oh wow, thank you!!!

honestly? im ashamed to admit it but im not the most well versed on my medium of choice.

i make audio dramas and WANT to listen to them but i just keep Not Getting Around To It. truth be told, i actually havent really learned how to do my medium all that well, either. haven't done any education, not even really youtube tutorials, at least not in the modern day.

actually, most of my love of sound design comes from too very insane places.

an old freddie wong video, and two old Overgrowth videos

when i was a kid and watching a lot of Youtube Sketches i saw the video this is dev commentary for and watched this after. and hearing him talk about layering sounds to make the right effect, specifically the line about "you'll notice how this gunshot sounds contains no actual gunshot sounds", REALLY stuck with me. my lifelong habit of "oh hey same glass shatter sound as die hard, oh hey that door opening creak was used in morrowind" evolved into spotting the source sounds for things, which only got stronger when i was following the development of the sequel to Lugaru (masterpiece, play it), Overgrowth (dogshit, skip it)

these two videos, and me getting into horror movies at the same time, tuned me in to the depths of sound effects and how to spot their sources. not just The Same Stock Sounds, but breaking it down into their constituent parts. a gore sound was no longer a gore sound, now I was hearing the melon getting squished, I was hearing the squeeze ketchup bottle being squeezed and wheezing out air with the teensiest bit of liquid dribbling out, etc. its kind of similar to practical effects, you know? like how that one Dawn Of The Dead headshot kill is a paper mache replica of the actor filled with cherry chunks, dyed red apple pie filling, and condoms. my love of sound is really similar to the average horror buff's love of practical gore effects.

i just find sound really compelling. sorry to disappoint if you were looking for full sound audio drama production recommendations, because the truth is i have literally never listened to one.

OH. OH ACTUALLY THATS NOT TRUE.

its not an inspiration, its SUPER recent, but Filmcow recently put out an hour long audiodrama dark comedy horror called The Table. its really fucking good and you should listen to it.

frankly Filmcow has been putting out nothing but gold lately. Watch the entire Shadowstone Park series, the Charlie The Unicorn Finale, and Vulo Lives (episodes AND streams, streams are in a playlist unlisted on their channel) when you get the chance. even if you have already. rewatch them. rewatch them all.

funnily enough, filmcow i guess ALSO was a partial inspiration for my sound design love. their old work always had interesting sounds, though nothing i really got enraptured by at the time. but Filmcow has also been getting into audiodrama, as seen here, and also has released a huge couple of sound effect packs on itch.io for free, with the only usage right rule being they can't be used by pigs or fascists, which is. so cool. love jason steele. hero and icon.

i actually use a lot of these in my work!

sound is so cool dude. i love sound.

[meimi-haneoka]

"With hindsight" Part 1 - a Yuna D. Kaito analysis because I won't be over the new chapter for a good while

Alright, I said it in my commentary/translation differences post for Chapter 70, but I'm far from having finished analyzing and saying what I wanted to say about what transpired from this last chapter, and since I need an outlet to vent my thoughts otherwise I'm going to implode, I'll start this post right away. To be honest this is just a collection of scenes from the whole story that I will be revisiting with the hindsight that Chapter 70 finally gave us. Scenes about Kaito, specifically. I'll try to give what I think is the right interpretation, but of course these are just my thoughts on the matter.

Drama CD n. 1

I will start not from the manga, but actually from the Drama CDs. The Drama CDs are "canon" to the manga storyline, because they insert themselves perfectly among the manga chapters, and they show us some "unreleased scenes" in the shape of audio recordings. This above is the extract of the scene that features Akiho coming home right after her first day of school, and her first meeting with Sakura. Now that we know what Kaito wanted to do...this scene takes such a tender connotation.... I mean....he welcomed Akiho home with sakura flavored tea to celebrate her meeting with Sakura....isn't that sweet??? Momo of course had to tease him about it, but for him it was such a pivotal element to his mission. And now I understand why he asked Akiho "it came from you?" when she said she told Sakura she wanted to be friends with her. He never forced anything. He only created the opportunity for them to meet and click together, but he pinned his hopes for them to get along in destiny and in their similarities. Because you know, his plan was perfect in his head, but if Sakura and Akiho couldn't get along it would've been all for nothing. He couldn't force Akiho to become a sister of someone she didn't love to begin with. And he sounds so interested, so eager to listen to Akiho's talk about her first day of school. He's genuinely glad to hear her so excited about her new friend. In this extract we also get glimpses of how Kaito was still learning to laugh properly, and that's another detail that crushes my heart. He has such a dead stare, when he was in the Association. Or we get the mention of how important, fundamental it was for him to obtain Eriol's house. Because he needed it for its magical protection properties. He needed it to protect her. And he was so nervous about finding an hindrance there. I can say thank you to Eriol for not leaving any spell inside that house, hahaha 😅

Drama CD n. 2

More Kaito tring to create "chances" for Sakura and Akiho to meet and bond. Just like tring to give a little "push". Although, Momo lectures him on the fact that there's no need to push things that way, that eventually Akiho and Sakura can become friends even without tricks... And the thing Momo hinted at, before trailing off? Yea, we always go back there. His limited understanding of love and relationships. Especially when they touch him. But he really tried to do his best with what he knew. "I have to make it work, somehow"

This is something different, though. This was one of the first attempts from Momo to make Kaito try to reflect on the reason why he's doing all of this. First, pointing out that he became quite informed on all kind of trivial things that he couldn't give a damn before. She mentions the character bento he made for Akiho. That's definitely something that goes beyond a butler's duty. He shrugs it off with a ridiculous excuse, so Momo tries again. She tries to make him realize that he changed. "No, I'm not that good at this" is a way to negate that. "No, I haven't changed, this is just job". And so Momo insists. He needs to friggin' realize it, he must do it by himself otherwise there's no meaning to it, but he has to. "Is this only because of the forbidden spell?" "Yes" "Just that?" Kaito doesn't answer. And serves the wine. That's when you know Momo made him uncomfortable. He doesn't say "Yes, just that" because something deep down inside of him is kicking and screaming the truth, and looking at how much he adores Akiho, he wouldn't try to deny that. But still, he dodges the question and that makes Momo irritated.

Damn, these hurt. Akiho, thanks to the synchro with Sakura, experienced her same dream and even heard the ominous voice. The one that now we know belongs to the Association, and warned Kaito of his destiny if he dared messing with the artifact. Here Kaito tries to cheer Akiho up because he thinks she's scared that something might happen to that "Alice", aka Sakura. To think that warning was actually for him.....I bet he knew. But since she heard it related to Sakura, he assumed she was scared because of that. Again, he tried to protect the bond between the two girls. And when he says "I will never allow that to happen", that was the biggest clue that he didn't intend to harm Sakura. Through the years I've always thought back to that phrase. He kept her in high regard because she would be the one who would fundamentally save his dear Akiho and make her happy one day. He would've protected her too, if necessary. Momo takes the chance again. The opportunity it's too good because gosh, here he is so serious and so fired up, he needs to realize who he's doing this for and why. And yet, Kaito not only doesn't understand, but also denies any deep involvement passing it off as "just what I decided to do" and then storms off the room with an excuse. When pressured about that matter, Kaito runs. And here my heart breaks because Momo has seen tragedies happening before, because of that book...and she didn't want to see another one. Not with these children in particular, these kids she cherishes so much. Now you understand why she cried in ch. 70?

"It's my job" - vol. 3

Now we switch to the manga. As soon as Kaito gets introduced, CLAMP are set in showing him as a polite, skilled but also distant type of person. So, merely a few panels after we saw how sweetly he told her she's never a bother to him, we see him breaking Akiho's heart by stating that this is job to him. Nothing could be worse for Akiho, who's used to be considered a burden by everyone. And yet. That's a lie that he's first and foremost telling to himself. Cause this is infinitely easier to bear if he pretends he's only doing it because it's his job. I'm not saying he's consciously lying - he doesn't want to peek in his heart, as Momo said later on. He's refusing to. Cause what he might find there might make this impossible to carry out.

"I'm glad about that" - vol. 4

Huge hint here. Kaito goes to pick Akiho up at Sakura's home, and on the way back Akiho tells him how kind Sakura is, and how she cares for everyone. Kaito asks "even for you?" and Akiho confirms happily. While his smile might have looked like it had a streak of shadiness, here, after chapter 70 it magically doesn't appear like that anymore. It's a sincere, kind smile. Kaito is glad that the two girls are bonding, and particularly that Sakura seems very well inclined towards Akiho. His bet with destiny seems in his favor, now. Sakura might indeed become a good sister for Akiho. That also explains his almost exaggerated reverence when he earlier called Sakura "Kinomoto-sama". That was honest respect for her.

"My name is Yuna D. Kaito" - vol. 4

I've always, always wondered about this scene. WHY, why did he go out of his way to introduce himself to Syaoran? Without even masking his powers? Was he challenging him? Wasn't it better if he stayed in the shadows and avoided him at best of his capacity? No. First of all, he wanted to know for himself who this famous "Syaoran Li" was. If he was a decent person, since Akiho would have eventually to be around him a lot, after becoming Sakura's sister. But also because......this meeting set off all of Syaoran's alarms, he contacted Eriol immediately to check on him etc. Kaito villainizing himself with Sakura's entourage was a test to check how efficient their protection network was, in case Akiho needed it in the future. Because, being part of the family, if anything (namely, the Association/Clan) still found the way to harm her, they would at least be there instead of him to protect her. His smile is so kind here....and now we know it's sincere.

Kaito's pocket watch - vol. 4

Leave me alone, I look at this page now and I can't help bawling my eyes out. Akiho of course knew how important that watch was to Kaito. She didn't know why, but probably by the way he always had it with him, she inferred it. And it became basically a symbol of him, for her. So much that she wanted to try recreating the pattern for the decoration of the cake roll that she would give him later. She's so observant, especially with him. To think that now....that watch is in her hands.....all damaged, broken....just like him....and that it will certainly lead her back to him...........OKAY LET'S MOVE ON

"Towards that time" - vol. 4

JESUS CHRIST the expression he's got here. It must be one of the sweetest he's ever had (also, the whiplash from the older character design is big). Momo had just being revealed as "being alive" and asked him if "that time" (WE KNOW NOW what time that was) was coming anytime soon...and while looking tenderly at his watch, he said that the cards (important "ingredient" of the magic he wanted to activate) were gathering more and more, and leading them to "that time". He's so glad, once again, that things are looking good so far. He seems like he's thinking "soon, she'll be free".

"Please...laugh like that again!" Vol. 4

Finally, the confirmation of Kaito's wholesomeness in this scene. First of all, how truly excited he was to open and eat Akiho's cake roll. By now we all know what kind of issues he had with food "previously": he fed himself with energy bars when he was little, couldn't care less how food tasted, and shunned most of Lilie's attempts at making him eat something different. Even when trying to find something he liked, the maximum he reached was "I can eat it". He wasn't excited for anything. But here, here we can see how much he loved to receive something from Akiho, baked directly by her. Even if people surely thought he might have just pretended (believing he had who-knows-what ominous plan to use her in the end), you could actually already find your answers in the shape of his speech bubbles. They're all bubbly and excited, especially when he says "it's delicious". Guys, knowing the flashback of chapter 60 where he couldn't find anything he really liked, this scene takes on a huge meaning. He finally defined something as "delicious". And of course, it came from Akiho. And thanks to how strangely "in tune" he seems with his true self (maybe because Akiho's present sparked true happiness in him?), we also have the rare "laugh scene". This scene often has been mistaken for Kaito laughing at Sakura's troubles, as if her troubles with the Cards amused him in a wicked way. Even here, we get the confirmation there wasn't any sinister kind of vibe to this laugh, it was just the laugh of someone who found the situation involuntarily cute (indeed, he apologizes with a blush right away, and a blush it's not something you normally summon at command, far less with someone who's still learning to manage his emotions). Akiho's "Please laugh like that again!" leaves him speechless, for a moment. It's the same suprised face he will make all the times Akiho will try to express her feelings towards him later on. Always that same, foolish, astounded face. He can't really believe someone would care for him. And his little smile right after, in this scene, suggests the thing warmed his heart and made him happy. ...alas, that also made him even more fired up to bring to completion his plan, as the scene that ensues right after this one suggests.

The dreams - Vol. 4

Same scene, this is the first time that Akiho let the readers know that she's been having dreams based on Sakura's experiences with the Clear Cards (and this is where I'M SURE that everyone thought "Kaito wants to give Akiho Sakura's magical powers, that's why she's dreaming of them"), under the guise of Alice's adventures. But it's definitely not the first time that she tells Kaito about this. It seems like a thing that's been happening for a while. We'll probably find out in the next chapters what these dreams were for in the grand scheme of things, personally I have several ideas but none of them seems to convince me enough, the only thing I know is that Kaito seems pleased that Akiho experiences these dreams so maybe they're connected to his plan (either for the play or for the life after the re-writing of the memories).

"Don't worry...I'll be by your side" - Vol. 5

Dear god, he always looks at her with such kind eyes. Always so full of love. Especially here, after she had her first synchronization with Sakura, so intense that she was about to pass out. Akiho had the opportunity to "channel" the vision Sakura was having in that same moment, and saw someone wearing the robe of her clan (this is how we find out for the first time that robe belonged to a clan and she was part of it). She was visibly distressed, and Kaito gently coaxed her to sleep, to rest. To be honest the situation with the dreams with MCF is yet to be clarified, so I won't push for an interpretation or the other, but I am inclined to believe Kaito wasn't particularly keen on having Akiho experience these kind of dreams. After all, the less she thinks about her abusive clan, the better. What he really was interested in was that she could experience the "Alice" dreams, not these ones that made her only extremely worried.

Confrontation with Eriol - vol. 5

Certainly, the most discussed and criticized scene. Because Kaito here didn't have any qualms in "attacking" directly Eriol. Always at the last moment, of course, because Eriol finished pretty much spilling anything he knew of Kaito to Kero and Yue by the time he interrupted them. Kaito will always be like this, even further along the story, when he decides to intervene. He really needs to be pushed into a corner to do so (and that's also an evidence of how he really doesn't enjoy nor he's inclined to attack people or cause problems). I always reiterated this however I could, in fandom spaces. Of course, he's not here to f*ck around. His goal is serious. He's staking his life on it, so if he needs to use strong methods, he will. However, it's not really clear what he intended to do to Eriol here. My idea is that he was just trying to destroy the communication (which surely must have been highly magically reinforced) between Eriol and the Guardians, but not cause to Eriol directly any harm. We see the staff cracking (cracks that are "healed" as soon as Eriol destroys Kaito's spell - one of the spikes breaking is an anime-only scene), maybe he wanted to break his magic tool to prevent any further intromission, but that's it. We don't see any bolt hitting Eriol or anything like that. He wasn't directly harmed. The fact that we see Eriol so debilitated for months is just because he depleted his magical power in order to counter Kaito's interruption, and that caused extreme exhaustion. Kaito is that strong. But, pay attention, Eriol afterwards will say that certainly Kaito got the same backlash from that attempted interruption too. After all, Eriol got his magic halved, but he's still a pretty formidable magician. So Kaito must have used lots of magic to "break in". But, as Eriol inferred from the rumors he heard of Kaito, he simply didn't show it and didn't care about the backlash. We have seen him faking to be completely ok while having heart attacks, do you think something like this could've fazed him?

Inverse dreams - vol. 5

Right after the confrontation with Eriol (maybe he was exhausted himself, but perfectly pretending he wasn't) he returned immediately to Akiho's side to be there when she woke up. Back then I was so mad at him because he promised to be by her side and then left as soon as she fell asleep, but with hindsight he was just, again, thinking about her and in her interest. She's constantly at the top of his priorities. Interrupting Eriol and ensuring that he wouldn't interfere with his plan would've allowed him to save her. Unfortunately, Akiho had a scary dream. Not "sad", but precisely "scary". And that's when we see for the first time Kaito becoming alarmed. Because Akiho saw her usual Clockland dream turning into something scary and she even heard a voice. Pay attention to her retelling of the dream: Alice meets in Clockland lots of strange creatures and inhabitants, she lives lots of curious experiences...she even sees a mirror capable of copying magic....BUT THEN...Akiho heard a clock's ticking sound growing louder and louder, and heard the sound of something breaking somewhere. Then, a voice (and this is where both Momo and Kaito grow immediately alarmed): "You can't come back anymore". When this chapter was released, it wasn't long that Syaoran and Sakura had that "date in the sky" thanks to the newly created Mirror Card, so we all thought that she simply saw the events that had just occurred with Sakura, as usual. But...pay attention...doesn't it remind you of something? Yes...this is exactly how things went in the story Kaito prepared for Clockland. Alice meets the inhabitants of Clockland, she visits and see curious things, but then there's the whole mess with Kaito and Syaoran using the two Mirror Cards....so what about the clock ticking sound and something breaking somewhere? Did Akiho have a dream of one of the possible outcomes of Clockland? Especially cause from her words and the panel, it's inferred that differently from other times, this Alice looked like Sakura. She doesn't say it aloud (in the very same scene of the Drama CD, she does), but to Kaito it's apparent that Akiho saw someone else other than her, and so it could have only been Sakura. Was something supposed to happen to Sakura? Kaito comforts Akiho in one of the sweetest scenes between the two, cause he can't stand to see her so worried. The smiles between the two, so tender, really tug at my heartstrings. Especially cause...he knows what "you can't come back anymore" refers to. I am just thinking whether Akiho dreamt of a future in which she went berserk in Clockland, and absorbed Sakura, hence the one who could not come back would be her in the end... Momo's warning that this dream could very well turn out to be true does nothing but firing Kaito up even more. I have the impression that he would've protected Sakura too, if necessary.

"Sacrificing something important" - Vol. 6

Momo basically told us Kaito's past here, and it was a big moment of revelation for the story. Finally we got some insight in Kaito's background, ever since he was a very small child. Why? Because it'll be important later. The reason why he acted how he acted, and accepted to take on his shoulders all the burden of such a self-sacrificing mission, is all here. When people accuse him to be "stupid", or ignorant because he doesn't understands Akiho's feelings (nor his own), they have to keep well in consideration what they told us in these pages (and further). This is also the very first time in which Momo confirms to the readers that Kaito is sacrificing something important in order to activate a "dangerous magic". She was meaning his life, of course, but also his relationship with Akiho.

"No matter where I look for them...I wouldn't be able to find those memories" - Vol. 6

Ah, g*ddammit. This scene hurts like a thousand bricks in the face now. Oof. Let's see...there's a lot to unpack here (and luckily it's the last feature for this first part). Big mess outside Sakura's house, Akiho's book is about to open up, she's already on the brink of losing her conscience and Kaito stopped time to prevent this mess from going any further. We find out that when Kaito picked Akiho up earlier on, he briefly investigated Sakura's house, finding out all the peculiarities about it (Nadeshiko's barrier, which at this time he still didn't know it was her doing) Now we know why he did so. He was checking out the place where Akiho would be living after he activated the forbidden magic. He had to make sure that it was a good place, and it was. This barrier he found was protecting the people inside, so it was perfect. We also find out that with a (questionable but harmless) trick he also checked a bit of Sakura's memories (probably in connection to the fact that he had to record Sakura's memories too, inside the Time Book). Momo makes sure to criticize him for that, and that's mostly where the "your personality is warped" goes to: sometimes he can be quite weird or inappropriate with the way he goes about things, but never to the extent of actually harming people. This will repeat again when he'll choose to use a "smiling" spell on Syaoran, later on. Compared to what this formidable magician is capable of doing, it's rather silly.

But the topic of reading Sakura's memories leads Kaito down a painful road. Because while he could ascertain that Sakura indeed lived a happy life with a wonderful family and lots of lovely people around her (thus making the situation ideal to insert Akiho in there and leave her in safe hands), his dear Akiho never had any of that. And he gets lost in this train of thought. Even if he tried looking for that kind of memories in her mind with the sweets he used with Sakura, he'd never find them. Because they never existed in the first place. No kind family, no happy memories. What he saw in Sakura back then was both reassuring but also a punch in the gut for him. This is another proof that Kaito isn't merely trying to fix a mistake to ease his conscience. He loves her, cares for her, and can't accept how much this poor girl had to suffer by the hands of the same cult that ruined him too. In short, he wants to make her happy. And all of that heartwrenching feeling goes in that hand that slowly, timidly, almost uncertainly tries to caress her face. I am convinced he's suffering along with her because he knows all too well what it means to live your life in loneliness. And even though he pretended he was completely fine with it, that cold, hollow feeling left its mark. Molded him. Conditioned his life and behavior. See, the biggest "irony" of all of this is that he's already making her happy, the happiest she's ever been, but he just can't fathom that because of his self-loathing. It is so heavy that it makes him blind to both her and his own feelings too. Of course, all this storm of feels doesn't go unnoticed to Momo, who takes immediately the opportunity for a comment, hoping to spark in him the understanding of where all those painful feelings come from: "You should see your face, right now". It was certainly something that he never had for anyone else before. Him, the one who couldn't care less about others and forming bonds with them, is now suffering for someone else he holds dear. And this one bond he formed is so powerful that is changing everything of him. I'd daresay that the hardest part of all of this is that, when he accepted the "Seal of D." at the very beginning of the journey because he was just a kid, he had nothing to lose and couldn't find a purpose in life, but now the time he spent with Akiho changed everything of him, included that "I have nothing to lose". No matter how much he fought it, the bond he tried to recoil from still naturally happened by itself. Because that's what happens when you spend time with others and have experiences together.

We'll explore this particular aspect better in the second part on this analysis, when his body will start literally to mutiny against him and his stubborness on its own.

[jonfarreporter]

The Barbra Streisand Autobiography is an Omnibus, no doubt!

I was taken aback by how many chapters there are in Barbra Streisand’s autobiography; 59, wow!

Yet I have to say that her story and commentary is fascinating, especially for devoted fans.

One thing that surprised me the most was how much Streisand has accomplished as not only as a “superstar” artist but as a human being. Listening to her directly (I enjoy audio books the most) really does help the audience understand her better.

She is most authoritative when speaking about her life and experience in the theater and the arts. Her voice now mellowed with age does carry a certain assurance that truly speaks honestly and factually.

I liked just about everything she said about the arts, especially her work with acting and the entire “collaboration” of putting a production together from start to finish.

One thing I didn’t know about Streisand was that she got into singing because she wanted to act on stage and in movies. Obviously her tremendous voice served her well.

I was disappointed that she said little of her time in San Francisco. Especially when she performed in North Beach at The Hungry i.

Yet, I was very moved by the fact that she really did “pay her dues,” so to speak in attaining to the level of stardom she has achieved.

When she described what it was like to be on stage or in an acting class, I felt as if she is talking about the interior life of art itself. Acting and art students should listen and take to heart some of this book, seriously it’s important! This woman immediately recognized the distinction of a red that Rembrandt used in his paintings (a “Rembrandt red,”) as she calls it. And this was in her early days when she didn’t even attend an art history class.

Some aspects of her personal life are already known. But when you hear it directly from her there’s a resonance that’s deep, even if it seems familiar and cliche.

Like most celebrity books that speaks about the “behind-the-scenes” of movies and shows, it was interesting to hear about the details.

I was sad to hear that Streisand had a very difficult time with the move “Hello Dolly.” Actor, Walter Mathau treated her very badly and she knew instantly that she was too young (at age 27, then) to play the part of Dolly Levi, a middle aged widow, matchmaker, extraordinaire.

As a native SF Bay Area kid I was sad that San Franciscan Carol Channing was not chosen to portray Dolly in the movie. Even Streisand mentioned this. What was the director Gene Kelly thinking? Dolly was Channing’s signature role!

Channing proved she had the ability from her work on the hit film “Thoroughly Modern Milly.” Yet Streisand fulfilled her contract and remained professional.

What also struck me about Streisand is her ability to understand and articulate something intrinsically innate and deeply within herself or something. Like for example, her understanding of lighting and how to present material to an audience. What to wear, how to move around, etc.

Her taste is impeccable and she understands the creative process. That’s very clear in her work “Yentl.”

Speaking of “Yentl” Streisand took a lot of risks with that movie as well as another movie of hers called “Up The Sandbox.”

I was sad to learn that the author of ‘Yentl’ Issac Bashevis Singer didn’t like the movie and thought Streisand didn’t do it well.

Some time ago when I was speaking with a Rabbi’s son, (who now sells Kinish snacks) he mentioned that “Yentl, the movie is all about Barbra.” “It’s not anything about real Judaism,” he told me.

I imagine that type of criticism must have hurt Streisand very much. Especially since she clearly put a lot into that movie.

Let me clarify, I am not Jewish! But I thought the movie “Yentl” did a lot to shine a wonderful spotlight on Judaism and a bit of its history.

Isaac Bashevis Singer should have been pleased that someone like Streisand was willing to go the distance with his literary work. Ok, so it didn’t follow his vision exactly. But it did entertain and inspire, bringing a bit of the complexity of Judaism to the masses.

Also, Streisand helped make Singer’s work more approachable. Please note, I’m not an expert. But Singer writes about Jewish life similarly to that of author and playwright Sholem Aleichem. It was Aleichem’s work that inspired the hit musical “Fidler on The Roof.”

It seems to me, that Streisand tapped into that so that audiences could identify with the characters and life of those people. With all due respect, it seems to me that Singer was a bit of a recluse and preferred a sequestered life.

Streisand is not sequestered at all and it shows in all of her works.

Which, leads me into another dimension. Streisand of course is Jewish, especially as she portrayed comedian, Fanny Brice. Yet, Streisand transcends Judaism.

As I said before, there’s something innate within her that is universal and outstandingly unique.

She’s often imitated, parodied and sometimes made fun of. Yet it’s very clear to me, Streisand is a rare talent of a person that will not be duplicated. We probably won’t see anything truly like her again. God didn’t just “break the mold” as the old saying goes, he/(she) put an exclusive patent on it and it’s in heaven under his/her very special and exclusive contract.

[adultswim2021]

Robot Chicken #64: “They Took My Thumbs” | December 14, 2008 - 11:30PM | S04E02

I forget if I discussed the gimmick of this season's episode titles, so I'll do it here, possibly redundantly. They titled each episode so that if you were to sequence them in production order (like how they usually appear on DVD), the resulting list of episode names will spell out a cohesive message. That way, when you buy the DVD, the episodes will be listed in production order, resulting in the pay-off.

This episode felt like it had fewer sketches than most, meaning there was an emphasis on longer sketches with only a handful of channel-change gags or shorties. The first one is about the contractor building the dungeon trap from the opening sequence of Raiders of the Lost Ark. The joke being that it’s silly and doesn’t make a whole lotta sense. Also the contractor sorta got a little too creative vs. what was actually asked of him. This one is decent, basically on par with an average SNL sketch. Actually now I’m recalling sketch where Christopher Walken plays Blofield, and James Bond shows up to his liar unexpectedly ahead of schedule and he has to apologize for the construction going on. This is different enough for me not to be pissed at it. Also the Walken sketch sucks. 

Next is Train Man, about a guy who gets squished by the Subway and must live the rest of his life being squished, for if they move the train it will cause his organs to fall out of his body and he’ll die. He spends his lifetime being a businessman and ignoring his wife and kids. There’s a guitar song that goes along with it. I guess this one alludes to an old urban legend. I don’t know man, I didn’t get much out of this one. 

The next sketch is about Jason Vorhees leading a boring life of quiet domesticity, but he eagerly awaits Friday the 13th so he can go out on have a killing spree. This one is fine, I guess, but the premise is faulty. I am pretty sure Jason doesn’t care about the actual day he kills people. This MF would kill on Talk Like A Pirate Day if he felt like it. And he should! 

You see, I wrote the joke “this MF would kill on ____ if he felt like it” and that’s what I came up with. Sorta low-hanging fruit. I could’ve gone with something edgier, like my birthday. Can you imagine bad stuff happening on my birthday? People wouldn’t be able to say “happy birthday” to me. This is the saddest thing I can think of right now!

Wildman is a sketch where kids are persuaded by one of their mothers to go swimming instead of cooping themselves up playing video games. She’s helped along by Wildman, a kid-friendly “outrageous” rocker whose advice gets preachier and lamer. The kids become disillusioned with Wildman, who doesn’t seem all that wild to them any more. The final gag is Wildman departing with a message against gay marriage. This one’s decent, too. Not mad at it! Wildman is voiced by Sebastian Bach, and he gives an great performance.

The final sketch is Bring A Sidekick to Work day, which is a bunch of lame riffs on DC Comics heroes being lads with each other. Sebastian Bach voices Martian Manhunter in this one, which was a little surprising to learn. The Robot Chicken crew have said in one of the few audio commentary tracks I listened to that when they get a guest star, they typically have them voice three different voices. Usually it’s obvious, like when you have somebody like Keith Crawford voicing a doctor. According to the wiki, this sketch was co-written by Geoff Johns, a guy whose name I’ve seen on DC comics before.

I’d call this one slightly stronger than most Robot Chickens, but I am very tired of sketches where Superheroes are horny. Just knock that shit off. All of them retain their semen, or have been chemically castrated as ordered by a judge. Sorry, I’m a stickler for this sort of thing.

[dailyaudiobible]

7/28/2023 DAB Transcript

2 Chronicles 21:1-23:21, Romans 11:13-36, Psalm 22:1-18, Proverbs 20:7

Today is the 28th day of July, welcome to the Daily Audio Bible. I am Brian and it is a joy to be around the Global Campfire another day, as we take another step forward on our journey through the Scriptures. Right now, we’re navigating…navigating our way through Second Chronicles in the Old Testament and Paul's letter to the Romans in the new. And we’ll obviously continue the journey until we reach new territory. But for now, that's where we are. And so, let's dive in, today Second Chronicles chapters 21, 22 and 23.

Commentary:

Okay, listen to these words that we read from our reading in the Psalms today, my God, my God, why have you forsaken me, why are you so far from saving me, so far from my cries of anguish. My God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, but I find no rest. Those aren't particularly comforting words, but I find comfort in them because I've had experiences in my life that felt like that and we’re reading it out of the Bible and it's comforting to know, I’m or we're not the only one who has felt that way. This Psalm was written by David a King, the king of Israel, even kings have this experience. Words from this Psalm were spoken by Jesus hanging from across. So, if those words resonate in any sort of way, and You’ve had a similar experience, you're not alone. What that feels like was captured and memorialized in the Bible. So, from the Bible, we’ve, we learn a lot about David and his life. And so, we know he was a musician, very skilled, he was a poet. So, he often turned to music that, as a way to get it out, to express, to release, what's going on inside. But Psalm 22 is not particularly happy song, it simply captures the raw expression from David of what was happening inside of his, inside of himself in his mind, in his heart. A lot of the time we try to sidestep those things for lots of reasons, we don't want to be honest and tell the truth about what's happening inside of us, because we don't want to seem sacrilegious, or we stuff things down inside and try to cover them over with other things. We’ll turn to comfort food to bring comfort or binge-watching television, just anything that we think will bring comfort and distraction from what's really happening inside. And let’s just remember, David’s the king, he has no shortage of things to distract him, and he has the best distractions that are available. David turned to music to articulate and name his feelings, what was going on and that's powerful because when we can name it, when we can say what it is, we can see it because it's in the light. It's not this nebulous, just anxiety that’s just in there and when our habit is just distraction, then what's going on inside just continues to build up and accumulate until…until that there's so much going on that we can even unravel it anymore. It's just unnamed anxiety that lives in our guts, twisting us into a ball which just leads us into more confusion, rather than bringing clarity. So, maybe we try what's being modeled by David. Maybe we write it down right down, write down what's heavy inside of us right now. Maybe if we play music, we…we do it to music. Name what's going on for what it is and be as honest as what we read in the Bible from the Psalms. We don't have to be afraid of honesty. David wasn't, God isn't, it's in the Bible. David says, you brought me out of the womb, you made me trust you, even at my mother's breast, from birth I was cast on You, from my mother's womb You have been my God. Do not be far from me, for trouble is near and there is no one to help. That's pretty raw, that's pretty honest and that is most certainly a quotation from the Bible. So, if this is a difficult season and feels like it's gonna get worse before it gets better, be honest about that. Write it down, name it, name what's happening, say what it feels like, see it for what it is, in the presence of God, bring it before God. What we’re reading, that is so raw from the Psalms today, is spoken to God. Honesty is honesty, and honesty is more true than distraction. Distractions don't fix things. They kick the can down the road, so that more things can accumulate and the problems worse. So, if we’re feeling overwhelmed, and trust me I know what that feels like. If we’re feeling helpless, I know what that feels like. If we’re feeling hopeless, whatever it is that we are walking through, face it, name it, bring it to God, turn it into worship. That's what we’re watching the psalmist David do. Worship is certainly a joyous and happy thing, but it is also for the lowest of the low times when we can't even make a sentence make sense. God will understand that sentence, and we will find God in our honesty, and we may find profound relief in getting it out and giving it to the only one who can help.

Prayer:

And so, Father, we thank You, we thank You that You have invited us into a life that is true. We've watched this in the Gospels. We've seen it modeled in the life of Jesus, we are invited to be who we were created to be, and at times things get twisted inside of us and we do all kinds of things to not deal with them. And what we’re seeing in the Psalms today is that we can be honest with what's going on and that, in and of itself, is a comfort that we can be honest about where we are knowing that this is not the end of the story. This is just where we are at the moment and we name it and we confess it and we bring it to you and we ask for your help, knowing that you will help, that you will not leave us or forsake us. And so, come Holy Spirit into the struggles of our lives. We pray in Jesus name. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is home base, that's the website, that's where you can find out what's going on around here. And you can put that in the palm of your hand and a lot more by downloading the Daily Audio Bible app, it’s free and you can download it from…from the App Store that works with your device. So, check that out. Check out the different sections like the Community Section. This is where the Prayer Wall lives. This is where the different links to get connected on social media are, so check that out.

And if you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, if bringing the spoken word of God read fresh every day and offered freely to anybody, anywhere, anytime, is meaningful and life-giving and if building community around this rhythm of showing up every day is meaningful, then thank you for your partnership. There is a link on the homepage dailyaudiobible.com. If you're using the app, you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or the mailing address is P.O. Box 1996 Springhill, Tennessee 37174.

And of course, if you have a prayer request or encouragement, you can hit the Hotline button in the app or you can dial 877-942-4253.

And that's it for today, I'm Brian, I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Prayer and Encouragements:

Hi, beautiful family. This is Prisoner of Hope. I am just driving into work and on my commute. I decided to call in for a couple of people. CeCe from North Carolina, you called in to give praise for your husband coming to the Lord after six years. And that is a long time, you said it was a long time, it is long. It is, I’m glad it wasn’t any longer. And I thank You Lord, that You’ve saved her husband, that You’ve called him into an eternal relationship with You, that he would be blessed by You. And I pray for those in our community who don’t have saved spouses, such as myself. And we’ve been praying for many, many years ourselves. And I pray that You would call them as well. Draw them in, enable them to come to know You Lord. Please don’t make us wait any longer, Lord. But would You please call our spouses into a eternal relationship with You. That they would decide to follow Jesus, all the days of their life. Carpam Diem Driver, I am just so blessed by you. You’re always calling in and saying you want to have the Lord help you so that you can bless others and glorify Him. You are already doing that, you are already glorifying God and you are already blessing this community. So, while you can ask that God continues to do that, I mean, He’s already doing it. And I hope you recognize that. I hope you that you realize there’s nothing that you need from Him to glorify Him in the way that you do. But with that said, I still lift you up, Carpam Diem Driver. I’m asking if, Lord Jesus, that You would please deliver him from the obstacles in his life, for things that just keep being thrown at him, Lord. He feels like he is against, up against the world. Lord, we know that You are for us, Your word says if God is for us, who can be against us. He who did not spare His own son, but gave Him up for us all. How will He not also, along with Him, graciously give us all things. We ask for You to do that in Carpam Diem’s life and in our lives. In the precious name of Jesus and powerful name of Jesus. Amen.

Hello, my DAB family. This is Jamie in New Jersey, Standing on the Word of God. I humbly ask you to please pray with me. Dear Father in Heaven, words can never express our deep gratitude but while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. We are so undeserving of Your grace and mercy, not just for salvation but for every day. Father, we ask that You soften our hearts to think more of others than we do of ourselves. Help us to put into order our priorities in life. You see every joy and difficulty and You love us through it all. Give us the grace today not to store up things for ourselves, where moth and decay can destroy or thieves break in and steal, but to gather up treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor decay destroy, or thieves break in and steal. Allow us the grace today to desire a relationship with You above all earthly things. By Your grace, we ask that You help us to be strong and courageous in the face of adversity. Strengthen us Father to uphold all people with the love that You have received, we have received from You. May Your love be our strength and Your peace fill our hearts. We pray in Jesus name. Amen. Thank you for praying along with me, my brothers and sisters. I love you all dearly. Have a good night.

Hi, Daily Audio Bible family. I hope you’re all having a God blessed day, night, whenever you’re all listening to this. And so, I want to give an update to the situation that I called in to the Daily Audio Bible Family here about. Which I left on June 18th which was Father’s Day. Where I talked about how my mom had sustained a business for almost 20 years but unfortunately passed away from stage 4 brain cancer. And how my cousin had tooken up on the business that my mom had started and how my grandma had passed away recently and then how my cousin had ended up in the hospital and how our family is struggling in finances. And how my dad’s in Kansas and won’t be able to help out much. And so, good thing, my cousins been out of the hospital for a couple weeks now. She got out either ever since July 3rd of July 4th. So, hallelujah to that. But yeah, if ya’ll could please keep praying for our financial situation. We were, thankfully, able to make it through this month by the grace of God. And so, please keep praying for us. And so, thankfully, we’re still going through some trials and tribulations but again, God always gets us through the trials and tribulations. You know this really reminds me of how you know like, Jesus you know, when he slept on the boat you know, in the middle of a storm. And how, you know the disciples were panicking and you know, you know Jesus rebuked the wind. You know, it’s just, you know, God’s gonna help get us through. But yeah, if ya’ll could please pray for us with the financial situation, that God would provide us with the exact finances that we need, to just simply get on by. That would certainly greatly be appreciated. God bless ya’ll. Thank ya’ll so much and please stay encouraged. And please pray for me to stay encouraged as well. God bless ya’ll. Peace.

Today is July 25th, why does that sound special? Oh, it’s Ezekiel’s 11th birthday. Happy Birthday Ezekiel. You are wonderful. I listen to you, even though I’m not a little kid. I’m a grown-up kid. I so love listening to you. You speak so clearly; you have inflection in your voice, and you bring the word of God to all of us. And I thank you for that. And I can’t say Happy Birthday enough. I love you. Happy Birthday Ezekiel. Happy Birthday Zeekee, and byyyyyyyyyyeee. It’s Jersy Jane for Jesus. God bless, God bless everyone in the DAB community.

[myraelvira]

A Conversation with Sammy Duet

On December 21st, 2022, I had the pleasure of speaking with Sammy Duet on Zoom. Sammy has been in a plethora of bands, such as Crowbar, Ritual Killer, Goatwhore, and of course, Acid Bath. Acid Bath was the main reason I had hoped to chat with him, as earlier that year I made a 2 hour video about the band, and managed to write somewhere around 89 pages on their history. And yet, after it all, I still had questions left unanswered even after listening to the hours of his archived live streams, and the various newspaper clippings that I came across online. I watched what I am pretty sure was every Goatwhore/Sammy Duet interview at the time. And while there were some really good interviews out there, none were able to answer those final Acid Bath questions I had.

For some reason, I sent him a message on Instagram asking if he’d be interested in ‘totally not an interview because I’m not a journalist 🤮’ at 2 am one night. Surprisingly, a few hours later, he said yes. After a while, it finally happened.

December 21st was that special day, and when I messaged him asking we were still on, he replied telling me “Yes!”. Once I read that, I went into panic mode. It was happening. It was really happening. I was so incredibly nervous, I could not stop trembling. I had to take extra anxiety pills to calm the fuck down. They barely worked. My stupid ass was a few minutes late trying to finish my makeup and he was already in the Zoom room, waiting for me. I could have just shit myself right there. But I hadn’t even eaten yet that day. [Also, it’s not like I wasn’t totally crushing on him or anything.]

I quickly set up my camera and tried to point it at me. I couldn’t really tell if it was a good angle or not. I didn’t have my glasses on, because I wanted him to think I was cute.

We talked for about 10 minutes before I realized that I wasn’t recording anything. Things didn’t go as planned, and the audio got jacked up. But it was a fun experience either way. Below is a majority of the conversation, transcribed by myself. The conversation as a whole went longer than I think either of us planned. My recorded audio is about 1 hour and 38 minutes long. I hope that if you read this, you get to learn something new today. (●'◡'●)

The actual beginning of the recording starts off with Sammy talking about some of the religious experiences he had as a child. This is only partial audio, but we briefly discussed the oddity of Pentecostal women having to be fully clothed, and how, at least where he lived growing up, that there were people of this denomination that would snake handle. The act of handling snakes, knowing that they’re dangerous, but having the faith in God that things would be okay. As Sammy said,

“This snake isn’t going to bite me and kill me, because God loves me so much. And I guess that’s why my religious beliefs are so [different] you know? It's that kind of thing, it’s completely polar opposite.”

Me: You know, it’s funny you say that, where I live, now in just in the middle of nowhere in rural Texas, you have the Mexican Catholics, and the cultish looking Pentecostals. Like for example, if I go to the grocery store, I’ll see the women-I don’t know how it is over there-

Sammy: They’ve got a lot of clothes!

Me: Yeah, it’s the long, long, skirts

Sammy: Long skirts, long sleeved shirts, and their hair is made up, I feel very sorry for those women. But anyway!

[We talked a little bit more about religion, but unfortunately I can’t make out the audio fully. I had mentioned how even to this day, I’m trying to undo behaviors that are deeply rooted in religion, I didn’t even realize it. Sammy seemed to understand, and ended his commentary with, “Don’t even get me started on that”. ]

Me: There is some things that I found pretty interesting while I was doing my research for the Acid Bath shit, and some coincidences that made me think, “Oh that’s so freakin’ weird!”. When I had read online, I had found the newspaper article online, saying that you guys were really big in South Dakota…for some god awful reason.

Sammy: Uh, what happened with that was, nobody cared. [We] were playing maximum for [small groups of people]. So basically, when we were together, playing and touring, there wasn’t a whole lot of…attention! So like, when we would go on tour, we’d play 4 shows, max as Acid Bath, and nobody cared.

Something happened in Sioux Falls, South Dakota where there was the guy that ran this radio show out there, and everybody from the college would hear, and he would constantly play Acid Bath. And for some reason…I guess it caught on in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. The first time we played there, it was like-insane. When we’d tour the United States, like I said, we would have played like to 5 people a night. I mean, that’s a massive jump to play one show, and then one where there’s a crowd there.

It surprised us! Ya know? So that’s why that place was such a special place for Acid Bath, because the first time we played there, it was insane! So that’s why Sioux Falls, South Dakota [was significant for us]. Sioux Falls, South Dakota, imagine that. I did not see that coming.

Me: No, I couldn’t either. I was really surprised…I mean, I can tell you why you guys were so popular there, it’s because nothing else ever comes up there; and I say that because I lived up in South Dakota for about 6 years, but I lived on the western side of the state from Box Elder, Rapid City, to Spearfish. Granted, those sides of the states are so different of course, but still similar at the same time. I mean, South Dakota is not the type of place that people go to play shows at. It was like 2008 or 2009 on Type O Negative’s last tour that they decided to come to Rapid City, and I was shocked.

- -

Me: I noticed that there were a lot of videos from around the 2015 time period, where people would say, “Hey Sammy, you haven’t seen Goblin yet?”. I mean now, have you?

Sammy: The band Goblin?

Me: Yes.

Sammy: No, I haven’t seen them yet. I always wanted to. Sucks. And recently they played at a place in New Orleans, earlier last March. [I can’t make out the audio, but he talked about the place that they played at, a chill place where people like to hang out. “But once again, I didn’t see them”, as he was touring.]

Me: There was this video from 2013 where Goatwhore played at Housecore Horror in Austin, Texas, in 2013. Then 2 years later, Housecore Horror was in San Antonio, and I went to that one and I’ll never forget, that they had Goblin there, playing the soundtrack to ‘Dawn of The Dead’ as the movie played. [The 1978 version that is] And I was like, “Oh my god! If only Goatwhore played at the 2015 Housecore Horror!”. Was this the same time period where King Diamond said that you guys were too heavy for him?

Sammy: No, that was around the Abigail tour. I think it was around the anniversary tour? One of those. But uh, yeah, it was the Abigail anniversary tour or whatever. [He was still thinking about it, but couldn’t seem to place it exactly]

Me: I just thought that was interesting, like man, if you guys came to the 2015 one, you guys could have watched it. You could have been there. (┬┬﹏┬┬)

Well, I’ve got to ask, with “Angels Hung From The Arches of Heaven”, is it supposed to be the Ten of Swords [tarot card]?

Sammy: Yes. It is the Ten of Swords. It’s supposed to represent something very bad happening.

[I had asked him if it was meant to be reversed, though he didn’t tell me yes or no. I honestly don’t think it was supposed to be, based off what he told me.]

Me: Yes, yes…believe me. I was really curious about the back, at least, the back of vinyl, I bought mine through Bandcamp so I don’t know if you guys have it totally different in other ones, but the back kind of reminds me of the Page of Swords. Is that intentional? Or is it just a skeleton dude?

Sammy: I don’t-I wanna say for sure. Like, our singer Ben Falgoust and the artist, Jordan Barlow are on the same wavelength when they came up with ideas. It might be.

Me: Yeah, I wasn’t sure, because the sword was pointing down. I’m sure you already know, but the regular card has the sword pointing up. Why the Ten of Swords though?

Sammy: I mean, like I said, usually when you see the Ten of Swords in the cards it is not something good. I usually like to leave the interpretation [out in the open].

Me: Does it have anything to do with “Weight of a Soulless Heart” or Perdition [And I Was Delivered From The Wound of Perdition]?

Sammy: There’s no real connection to any song, it’s kind of…it’s not connected to any song.

Me: Mhm…even “Invocation 3”?

Sammy: Yes…yes.

Me: When are we gonna get “Invocation 4”?

Sammy: Probably on the next record. We might skip 4 and go with 7.

Me: Why?

Sammy: Why not?

Me: Well then it’s gonna be like Microsoft going from Windows 8 to 10!

Sammy: Exactly! Or you never know, it could be like “Invocation 3.1”.

Me: Enough about technology! Anyway, the reason I even bring up the Ten of Swords, is because some of the interviews I watched, some people called it the 9 of swords. And I was like, “Do I need a new pair of glasses?” because I kept counting 10.

But it was really interesting to me, because I saw the artwork and thought, “That’s some spooky shit” because early this year, in January [2022], I had a tarot reading and I was lucky enough to get the Ten of Swords reversed! Could you believe that? And a couple of other things, like the Page of Swords, The Devil, so obviously I had a really great year.

But, I saw that and I was like, “Man I don’t know why it’s exactly connected together” but, for whatever reason, ‘Angels Hung From The Arches of Heaven’ came at a point in my life where things were not exactly great.

- -

Me: So here’s the Acid Bath stuff. Honestly, who came up with the name?

Sammy: It was our drummer [Jimmy Kyle]. This was back when the band was still called Golgatha. There were all these changes happening, so we decided to change the name and couldn’t really think of a really good name because all the really cool names were taken at the time. And, during that point and time, the five of us were taking a lot LSD. Like. A lot. And, somebody, I believe it was Jimmy, brought up the name because we were so fond of this LSD we were taking, that we were like “Why don’t we change the name to Acid Bath?”. Let’s roll with that, and if anything better comes up, a better idea, we could change to that. But it just kind of stuck. That’s basically where the name came from.

Me: So was the connection to the Acid Bath Killer unintentional?

Sammy: Yes. We were not aware of that at the time.

Me: I had wondered about that, and I know that people have asked you about that before. I kind of like the idea of being so…so fucking high that you’re stuck in an “acid bath”.

Sammy: Yeah…it kind of happens you know.

Me: I had read about the Angel’s Trumpet, and I had seen the one video that Josh had posted, of you talking about your experience with it. And I was like, “Fuck that!” [Laughs] I could never do that!

Sammy: Yeah that was no fun. It wouldn’t stop, it lasted for days. That was uh, the first and last time I took Angel’s Trumpets.

Me: Yeah, it sounds kind of like the Methamphetamine version of hallucinogens. I’ve heard of people being high for days on meth.

Sammy: Yeah…it’s not really what I’m into.

Me: What, Angel Trumpets or Meth?

Sammy: Either!

Me: I’m personally not really big into drugs. The most I’ve ever done was just get really fucking high on weed. But, I have issues. I’m the type of person now that, I guess I just smoked so much that I instantly have a panic attack. It happened to me earlier this fuckin’ year.

Sammy: You’re not the only one that feels that way, trust me.

- -

Me: I wanted to apologize for my actions on Instagram. I know that it wasn’t professional.

Sammy: You have nothing to apologize for. The thing you have to realize, is that I like to fuck with people. So if I give you a smart ass answer….

- -

Me: You know, I was really curious if you or any of the other guys were into true crime, and stuff like that?

Sammy: I know Dax was heavily into it, he was really into that stuff. But you know, I dabble.

Me: Wow that actually answers a lot for me. I notice that with “Kite String”, it was released right before the 25th anniversary of Tate-LaBianca.

Sammy: That was completely unintentional.

Me: I once had seen that somebody has asked you what you thought of Charles Manson’s music. Do you actually like it?

Sammy: I had one record, but it had some really good songs on it. In one recording, he stops, and he starts yelling at this person. A guy comes in and asks for a cigarette, and Charlie loses his mind.

Me: That sounds like how he was, from everything I read.

---

Me: I forgot to ask you, how are you doing today?

Sammy: Good. Just practicing. A lot. Getting ready for the tour. [This was a little over a month before they went on tour in Europe at the beginning of 2023].

Me: Are you nervous?

Sammy: Oh no.

Me: Did you by chance ever see the Acid Bath video I made?

Sammy: No, I haven’t yet.

Me: It’s alright, I mean, it’s 2 hours long. [When I said this he looked shocked]. I guess I did find quite a bit of information.

What ever happened to Kelly [Audie’s brother]?

Sammy: Kelly, the last I heard, was in the military. I know I was hanging out with him a lot for a long time, then he just kind of…disappeared.

Me: I don’t know if you’re familiar with the Metal Archives, but it had said that you and Kelly had been in a band together, what, like a 2-piece?

Sammy: It was a 3-piece band, it was like, a Doom band. Myself and Kelly, and the drummer. It never really went anywhere

Me: So it just lasted all in the same year that it started?

Sammy: Yeah. You know, we never really took it seriously.

Me: Let’s go back to having hopefully more of a good time. Or at least, I hope you’re having a good time, it’s okay if you’re not.

Sammy: [Laughs]

[ I then asked him if he still had his natural teeth, as years ago, Sammy had to have his jaw wired shut after getting into a bar fight. If you don’t know, this is pretty much the reason how and why Ben Falgoust became the singer for Goatwhore. Since Sammy’s jaw was wired shut! ]

Me: Did you ever go to jail for all the bar fights?

Sammy: Luckily, no. I managed to avoid the police!

Me: It’s funny, I remember this interview that Josh posted on the archive [Acid Bath Archive on youtube] where they called you Bart Simpson. Do you feel like, growing up, you were a lot like Bart?

Sammy: [Pause] No.

Me: Really?

Sammy: No. I was a lot more, how can I say it, I was a lot more intellectual. I was always aware of the repercussions of my actions. I was always…”How could I not get caught?”. How to get away with doing this fucked up shit.

Me: Well, what was the shit you were doin’? Were you throwing roaches at people?

Sammy: Kid shit! You get bored, and do dumb shit. Trying to not get caught. A lot of kids would do it, and not worry about the repercussions I was always aware of “How can I do this and not get caught?”.

Me: I found this newspaper clipping about that stabbing, I think you guys were on tour with Incantation. Do you remember that?

Sammy: Yes, I remember that. We were on tour, I want to say it was either Brooklyn or Manhattan, something like that. And Incantation and Immolation played a show at this place called ‘The Voodoo Lounge’. And it was downstairs in this basement, and it was like, the show was just-insanity. You couldn’t move in the place, it was crazy. And apparently, the other guy there was very short tempered. Something happened, where the singer at the time, Mike, that was singing for Incantation, was walking through the crowd to get to the backstage. And then this place was so fucking packed you had to kind of squeeze your way through. And apparently Mike and another guy act like he’s trying to get through the crowd and the guy pulled out a knife. Like, slashed Mike’s forearm. And this other guy jumped in to stop it and then that guy gets his face slashed. So they wrestled the guy to get the knife, and he gets out of the hold that our friends got him in and runs upstairs outside. So they catch him, and they proceed to beat the living shit out of him. The cops show up and they’re like, “Yeah, alright, we’re taking this guy to jail.”. Seeing the guy outside, his head was just wrapped up with gauze. They beat this guy up bad. But the funny thing was, the cops came, it was a big fiasco and there was blood everywhere. But the cops just arrested the one guy that did the stabbing and just let everybody else go. Mike had been slashed on his arm, on his bicep, and the guy who was slashed in the face was basically holding his face together.

Me: Would you consider writing a book about your life?

Sammy: Possibly, you know? If the situation was right. Yeah probably you know? I’ve been definitely approached about it a couple of times.

Me: What would be the right situation?

Sammy: Just having someone that actually gives a fuck about reading. Someone that would honestly be into it, and into the details. I’d actually want to do it the right way, and actually kind of engage the reader rather than “Oh ya know, this happened….” And getting to the point instead of, “I had a pet horse when I was 8.”.

Me: Did you have a pet horse when you were 8?

Sammy: Actually, yes!

Me: [Laughs]

Sammy: I had a horse and other phantom pets.

Me: I heard that you spent a little bit of your childhood in Scotland. Right? Or no?

Sammy: Yes. I can’t really remember a whole lot about it. I was so young when it happened. But my father, at the time, was a tugboat captain. Something happened where he had some job out there, for like, a couple of years. So me, my mom, and my sister moved out there.

Me: That’s really interesting. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of anybody living in Scotland. I didn’t even know that people actually lived there. [Laughs]

Sammy: Yes! Lots of people live out there!

Me: I don’t know what my segue was from there, but what would you say is your earliest memory in life?

Sammy: I can’t answer that.

Me: Well what is it today? It’s okay if it’s the horses at 8, I can accept that.

Sammy: I can’t, I can’t answer that question. [Laughs] Like, I’d have to sit here and really think…I can’t answer that question. I don’t know. My earliest memory…I can’t answer that. I don’t know.

Me: Do you feel like the older you get, age is a luxury?

Sammy: Uh, to an extent yes. You start to realize a lot of things that [don’t matter].

Me: What were the things that concerned you when you were younger?

Sammy: Oh just things in life, nothing in particular. Ya know? The things you worry about, that you won’t worry about in ten years. It’s now irrelevant. It’s like the older you get, the less fucks you give.

Me: Is it true that you actually grew up speaking Cajun French first?

Sammy: Yes.

Me: If you were to hear bits and pieces today, would you be able to say, “Oh I know that word!”?

Sammy: Oh yeah. I mean, I kind of lost it, I haven’t spoken it in so long, but [if I hear someone speak it] it’ll come back to me.

Me: Are you lost during the times that you go to France?

Sammy: No, Cajun French is very similar. I’ll hear things and think, “I know what they’re talking about”. I’m not gonna get into the conversation. The way I was taught how to speak French, they’d probably look at me like I was fucking crazy.

Me: That’s actually pretty funny, that was actually like a coincidence. Back in school I took five years of French and not because I genuinely wanted [at first]. It was really weird where my last name was at the end of the alphabet, so for whatever reason, they [my school] had it set up where if your last name was A-M, they could go to Spanish class; And everyone else gets French. And I was everyone else. I still even remember some of it, ya know?

I was confused when you called Boris [one of his cats] a ‘cochon’, because I thought it was ‘cornichon’. And I was like, “Why did you call him a pickle?” [Laughs]

Sammy: Cochon means pig. (‾◡◝)

Me: So what do you guys do on tour for food?

Sammy: Unfortunately, we have to eat a lot of fast food. Sometimes it’s a gamble, because you never know if it’s going to be really good or terrible. So it’s just kind of like, ya know, eating a lot of fast food wishing the best; and then we carry a lot of stuff in the van that won’t go bad. Stuff that’s sustainable.

Me: Well, if I didn’t know better, it sounds like you’re living through the apocalypse.

Sammy: Almost…it’s kind of a preparation.

Me: [Laughs] Are you a doomsday prepper?

Sammy: No.

Me: Why not? [Laughs] 15 gallon buckets of corn! Delicious.

Sammy: If I die, I’ll die. When it’s my time, it’s okay.

Me: How would you want to be remembered?

Sammy: Huh? I don’t know. That’s a good question. I’d like to be remembered as anyone would like to remember me. That’s how I’d like to be remembered. Cause I won’t have any say in the situation after it happens.

Me: Were you one of these people during the Pandemic taking all the toilet paper?

Sammy: No, I was not.

Me: Would you admit it if you were?

Sammy: Yes, I would.

Me: [Laughs] What do you use? 1-ply, 2-ply, 3-ply? I’ve read somewhere that there’s 4.

Sammy: Whatever is cheapest. It’s just my butt.

Me: Why not?

Sammy: Ya know, it’s a butt! It’ll be fine!

Me: So, how Southern would you rate yourself? Do you deep fry everything and drink sweet tea?

Sammy: To an extent yes, I’d say about a 6 or a 7.

Me: [Laughs] Well, what would make a 10?

Sammy: What would make a 10? If all you drank was sweet tea, and deep fried…EVERYTHING! That would make a 10, yes.

Me: [Laughs] So do you go fishing when you’re at home?

Sammy: No unfortunately, I would love to but uh, I haven’t had the opportunity in a few years.

Me: Would you fish for fun, or catch something and eat it?

Sammy: If we caught something that was tasty, we’d keep it and fucking eat it. Yeah, hell yeah!

Me: Are you allergic to anything?

Sammy: Nothing. I’m impenetrable.

Me: Do you guys like Arby’s, or do you avoid it?

Sammy: We try to avoid Arby’s at all costs. It’s definitely not high on the list. We try to eat relatively healthy.

Me: Would you consider becoming a vegan like Rob Zombie?

Sammy: Um, no. I like seafood too much.

Me: Are you a cook, or do you like to cook?

Sammy: I…I have my moments. Yeah.

Me: [Laughs] I’m just asking! You seem to take offense to that.

Sammy: No! I’m not offended. I can cook simple things, ya know?

Me: What like frying eggs or?

Sammy: [Pauses] I can definitely fry an egg.

Me: [Laughs]

Sammy: I can cook all kinds of stuff. Ya know, raised in southern Louisiana, that’s all there was to do, cook. My mom was cooking something, my dad was cooking something, grandmothers. I kind of learned a lot of stuff from that.

Me: Have you ever eaten rattlesnake?

Sammy: No, I have not eaten rattlesnake, ever. But I’m willing to try it, yes.

Me: We had some a few years ago, a friend came back from his farm with I think, a diamondback rattle snake. You know, one of those ‘fucking kill you’ ones, and we skinned it. Basically, to me, it tasted like pork. More like a pork chop, than people will say chicken. I would recommend it, just try not to get yourself killed while doing it.

Personally, I like to cook. That’s my main thing. I always say, if I end up on like, my 600 pound life, at least I ate really good food. Not that I want to be like that.

Sammy: Alright, I have to get going. So, it was very nice talking to you.

Me: Mhm

Sammy: [Teases me for saying ‘mhm’, because I was doing it the whole conversation]

Me: What?!

Sammy: It’s alright. I gotta go do some errands I have to go buy some fish.

Me: Oh…oh my god it is. Sorry about that.

Sammy: That’s alright. So uh, it was nice talking to you.

Me: I really enjoyed this, I did. I appreciate this. (❁´���`❁)

---

Once again, I have to say thank you to Sammy for agreeing to do this with me. It was a real pleasure talking to you. I really hope in the future that we can do this again!

If you're interested in following his social media, he is most commonly found on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sammypierreduet/

[dailyaudiobiblechronological]

1/4/2023 DAB Chronological Transcription

Job 1 - 5

Welcome to Daily Audio Bible Chronological, I'm Jill. Today's the fourth day of January, welcome. Day four, you're here and man, what a good thing you are doing by being here, just showing up and allowing God to speak to your heart, to your soul, to your mind, into your spirit, through his word, to know and be known. That is the goal. And so well done on day four. On this journey of Chronological, let me first just offer another little explanation of why we do things the way that we do. At the end of this week, I will be done and my daughter China will take the mic and she will start a brand new week with a brand new translation. We will change translations of the Bible every week. That happens every Sunday. We do that because, well, one, it's hard to pick a whole translation for the entire year. And secondly, we do that because, well, we would normally not read different translations on our own. This causes us to hear things a little differently. When you hear things differently, it hits differently. It can leave a mark sometimes. And so we do that just to switch things up. And listen, there may be translations that you don't particularly like. Please stay with it. Please don't walk away because of a translation. We will eventually switch it again, but I promise you it might not be your preference, but it also might be what you need to hear, what God does need to speak and say to you. So that happens at the beginning of every new week. We change readers and we change translations. And that will begin this Sunday. We are reading the Bible in chronological order. So what that means is that we jump around in historical order as best as historians and theologians can tell, and we will go out of order. If you're following along in a regular Bible that is written book by book, Genesis to Revelation, and we're going to jump around in historical order. What that means for today is that we're taking a break from Genesis. We're just pausing it, we will come back to it and we're starting the Book of Job. Interestingly enough, the Book of Job is one of the oldest books of the Bible, and it's quite a story. And I certainly don't want to give too much away. But I'm going to tell you, it's going to get redundant and you have to stay with the story and it's going to get redundant. And you have to stay with the story and it's going to get redundant. But there are valid moments and teachable lessons that we can learn from that redundancy. So let's stay with the story and let's dive into Job. Today we're reading Job chapters one through five. And this week, for a few more days, we're in the New Living Translation, Job chapter one.

Commentary

If you really stayed with the story, I would just invite you, maybe even to pause the podcast. Give yourself a minute or two and see what you're wrestling with here. This is definitely a story where there's going to be some wrestling and it may even be in several different places and maybe even just right off the very top when Satan enters the presence of the Lord, because that part always kind of trips me up a little bit. We can feel so unworthy coming into the presence of God because we've lived with ourselves, we know exactly what we did wrong. And Diminishment has settled in and we have dehumanized ourselves from even coming and entering into worship with God. And here he allows Satan, okay, great, I'll take it. If he's worthy of entering, then I'm going to change my mindset and I'm coming in so we can just start there. Satan has allowed access to the presence of the Lord. And then, if I'm just being honest, I'm going to wrestle through this conversation that takes place between God and Satan. And then I'm going to pause there just for a second and say, I realized we didn't spend much time on him at the beginning of creation on day one. So if you have the time allotment, I would highly suggest going to the channel of Daily Audio Bible where Brian reads and listen through days one through three and his offering of the fall and the Old Testament reading on those days, the first through the third. Okay, that's the end of that little pause sidebar right there. Here's the last thing I'm going to comment on today. This story can be an example of the question that we so many times ask why do bad things happen to good people? And then as we go through this story over the course of the next days, you might hear every possible human emotion expressed and question that we wrestle with during grief. And then we're going to hear from Job's friends like we did today with Elephaz coming and replying to Job. I was listening to a commentary regarding the book of Job and it was exactly what I have thought before. Job's friends were good friends to him during grief until they opened their mouth. We already see the beginning of that here today. And in the words of my ten year old, it's going to get cringy, and then it's probably going to get extra cringy if we really stop and examine our own words and our own actions and think of the times that we thought we were doing a good thing by offering our perspective, offering our good meaning advice, such as chapter four, verse eight. My experience shows that those who plant trouble and cultivate evil will harvest the same. We so many times enter into someone else's grief from our own unilateral perspective, thinking we're being helpful and we usually end up doing more harm than good. If I'm just being honest, this seems a good landing place for today. Because, like I said, going to be here for a bit and we're going to have to wrestle through some things. And so I want to say that wrestling through these parts of the Bible are completely welcomed here. Maybe, sadly, you have been in an environment where the questions and the wrestling are not welcomed and you've been shamed for it. And that saddens me greatly. It's also part of my story, being in church culture my entire life. So I want to validate that. I think it's a really necessary part of our faith. And secondly, I want to offer you room and the space to do that. And this story of Job will not be an isolated wrestling match. There will be other parts of scripture that you may or may not have to wrestle through. And really the best place to do that is with God himself and ask Him your questions and take them to Him. Second really good place is a journal. And a third great place is a safe friend, someone who will not shame you and someone who doesn't know all of the answers, because who does? And maybe even someone who just will listen to you and hear you, which, ironically, is what Job could have used in this story. So questions? Yep. Wrestling? Absolutely. And am I sure? I sure am.

Prayer

So, Father, we thank you for your word today. We thank you that you are safe. We thank you for this safe place that you have provided for so many, including myself, to hear your word, to sit with your word. To you make space for your word and allow our hearts to feel what rises up and to sit with that emotion and to invite you into it, to come and to speak. And even when it gets hard, Father, when we hear hard things that make us cringe because we hear our own words and we see our own actions that we have maybe been not so proud of and even been ashamed of and don't really know what to do with that shame and that regret thinking that we can offer that to you. You cause us to change, to make a different movement going forward the next time, which is repentance, to bring that to you, to lay it at your feet and to do differently next time. So as we walk through this story of Job and we hear the words that might be difficult, I pray that your Holy Spirit would be part of this process of listening and that the Holy Spirit would come and comfort, counsel us, guide us into all truth. I thank you that you hear this prayer and you hear your people and you do not meet us with shame or condemnation, but with grace, mercy, love, compassion, conviction, compel us to change. We pray this now in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Announcements

Daily Audio Bible, that's home base. Check it out if you've not, that is our website, the app I've already talked about at the front end. So if you have not, now is a good time to download that and utilize that for your reading. If you would like to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, thank you so much for your partnership. We could not keep this moving forward without you, and we are so grateful for each and every single one of you. If you're giving by mail, DAB PO Box 1996 Spring Hill, Tennessee 37174. Or if you're utilizing that app, hit the Give icon. It's up at the top right hand corner of your mobile device. And lastly, if you have a prayer request, there are several different ways for you to do so. 800 583-2164. Or if you're utilizing the app, hit the red circle button up at the top right hand corner. You have two minutes on the prayer line, hit Submit at the end, and then turn that little wheel over to Chronological and it'll get to the right place. We do have social media pages for you to reach out to if you're looking for a friend. If you would like to connect with people deeper, Daily Audio Bible is the official look for the Red Wind Farm logo. DAB Friends, Daily Audio Bible Chronological and DABC friends. And then my own little playground that I love to connect and encourage women is at Daily Audio Bible. Women. If you go to any of those pages and, like, hit the little thumb or hit follow, and you'll get the daily postings, and then it's just a great way to reach out to a fellow DABber or somebody that you've heard that called in and you want to connect with them and you don't want to do it publicly, or if you haven't heard from them in a while and you just want to check in with them, we ask that you do that there, and that will help keep the prayer lines focused on prayer. That's going to do it for me today. We'll turn the page and continue in the story of Job tomorrow. I'm Jill, until then, love one another.

Community Prayer Line

Happy New Year. Daily Audio Bible Chronological this is Michael from Middletown. I just want to welcome all the newcomers and those that have been with the Daily Audio Bible or Daily Audio Bible Chronological. And I just want to wish you guys a very happy, safe, blessed New Year. We're not alone, and because of this platform, we're able to come and share anything we need to. Never think that your prayers are too little or they have to be a big prayer or a big ask. Our God is the same small prayers as well as the big prayers, and he loves us all just the same. So again, pray that you're encouraged and just keep growing. Take it day by day and to see what happens when God is first and you get that daily bread and watch how that transforms each and every day. And always be mindful of other people around you and always show them the light that Jesus has given us to be that light in the darkness. Have a great night. Love you guys. Bye.

Hi, my name is Debbie. I'm calling for the first time. I've been listening to the Daily Audio Bible Chronological for a couple of years now, but I've been pretty inconsistent, and this is the first time that I've been able to catch the podcast in real time, and for that I'm grateful. I just asked to be lifted up in prayer right now. I'm pregnant at 22. I moved to Washington State from California exactly one year ago today, and I'm completely isolated. I have no friends, I'm highly agoraphobic and unemployed, so I haven't gone out in a while and I'm extremely depressed. My studio apartment is a mess, and I can't find strength or motivation to do anything. I try to take my life on Christmas from all the loneliness, and I just don't know how to love myself. I don't know what to do now that I'm pregnant. Though the father of this child is very supportive, I push him away because I don't know how to receive love, because I don't love myself. I pray, Lord I ask that people can pray for me so I may be able to strengthen my release.

Thank you, Daily Audio Bible Chronological for being there for me 24 hours a day, seven days a week. You are such a blessing in my life. Your encouragement through the teachings and your commentaries and the prayer requests and praise reports of and comments of the people who call in are such a blessing to me and in such an encouragement. And I pray that in 2023 I will let my light shine and my joy shine for my love for Jesus and that it might be so bright that others would ask and want to also know our Lord. I want to ask for prayer. I have nine family members with COVID I was around them and I'm praying really hard. I don't get it. Again, if I'm still not over the COVID exhaustion, headache, memory fog, and that from having COVID in August. So pray that my immune system will keep me away and be with all those who are fighting illness, the covid, the RSV, the flu that has already killed 1300 people. Daily Audio Bible, just thank you, thank you. Thank you for being there for all of us through the good, the bad, the ugly. God's word is such an encouragement, no matter what mood I'm in. And I just want you to know how much I appreciate you, how thankful I am that I found you. And just thank you to all the Harden family. God bless everyone for 2023. Mayor light shine.

Happy New Year. My family. This is  His mighty tortist from Maryland, your friend, Adrian. I just wanted to say this is January 1 and today is the day every year that I give everything I have and all that I am to God. And I ask Him to take me where he wants me to go and do with me what he wants me to do with me what he wants and so encourage you to do the same thing. It's very rewarding to give your life to God, and there's nothing better than to have Him direct your life completely. So, anyway, I just want to encourage you to do that. Also. I just discovered that I had been thinking that I've been a DABber for seven years, and according into China, it's only been six. She said she's only done chronological for five years, and I've been doing it for a year longer than she's been doing chronological. So I've only been a DABber for six years. So I'm still relatively new with this. But anyway, happy New Year, guys. I love you so much. This is your foundation in Maryland.