#the thingies what slant the words is goneee

[mrs-weirdo]

God DAMN I didn't think I could write something actually good lol

idk how to finish it !!!

Uh, it's down below!!

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His chest achs. A lot, actually. More than it should, considering that he has no idea why it even hurts.

And the way he feels like he could cry - Wait, no, actually sobbing would be a better word to describe it.

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He's sitting across from Will and Jonathan in the wheeler household. He's not doing much other than just staring, and yea, he knows it's rude- to stare, his mom has told him countless times- he knows, but it's so hard not to when Will looks so calm and comfy, in his pajamas.

Will's curled up into a ball at Jonathan's side, giggling softly as he plays with Jonathan's hand, bending his fingers this way and that. And Jonathan's is just smiling softly and fond. He also looks calm, but not the kind of calm that comes with being high.

Mike tries his best not to pout, but he's pretty sure he's not successful.

He's got himself curled up into a little ball, knees up to his chin, hiding all of the feelings clashing around inside his ribcage and chest. Hiding it the best he can.

Mike shifts, just a little, resting his head back onto his knees and staring. His jeans dig into his legs, making him all itchie and hot.

His head feels a bit far away, and all mushy, like how it gets somethines when he's stressed or overly tired.

All he can seem to think about is wanting someone to hug him, to make all the bad feelings go away, to hold him, to just hold him, and to play with his hair.

Jonathan looks over at him, eyebrows a bit furrowed. He doesn't exactly look mad, but he doesn't look exactly happy, either. When he looks at Mike,

he looks-

looks-

the word drifts away, drifting just out of reach.

Mike quickly looks away and tries to hide behind his knees and bangs. His hair is getting long, and his dad has been pestering him about cutting his it,

and-

God, he just wishes someone would hold him, too.

Nancy chose that moment to walk in, all neat and collected like she is, curly hair grown out, just a bit. It's bearly past her shoulders, but it still bounces as she walks. She's wearing her pajamas as well. It must be a common thing today. He must have missed the memo. Her scar is covered up, patchy foundation over the left side of her face, and neck. She must have rushed.

She sends a small smile at Mike as she walks over to where Jonathan and Will are sitting. She ruffles Wills hair as she pecks Jonathan on the lips. Will giggles, hiding more into his brothers side.

Mike's heart does something funny in his chest.

It's not the feeling he normally gets when Will laughs, or is even just anywhere near the boy.

It's more painful. It makes his breathing stutter, and something craws up and into his throat that he desperately tries to choke down. It makes his eyes water, his head screaming, stupid silly thoughts like,

What about me?

And so much other stuff, and then it's all just jumbled together into one big mess.

"-Mike?"

His eyes whip up to Jonathan, still hiding behind his knees and curling up tighter, Jonathan who's looking at him with something like concern and confusion and,

Stop it,

Stop it,

Stopitstopitstopitstopit-

He's not sure if he's thinking about Jonathan or the tears that are starting to form thicker now, and the constricting of his chest from holding back the urge to sob, or something even more embarrassing-

like-

like-

he's not even sure.

But their all looking at him, waiting for his response, but the words are all clogged in his thoat.

"Mike?" Jonathan asks again, Will glued to his side still with these sad puppy dog eyes, staring at him.

It's all too much, too much, too much.

Finally, after what feels like years, Mike chokes out a, "What?"

Jonathan and Nancy exchanged glances before Nancy asked, "Are you alright?"

Mike's breath stutters, just a little bit.

"Yea, why wouldn't I be?" He tries to scoff, but he thinks it comes out more quiet and sad than he wants.

The two look at each other again, and Will pulls at Jonathan's sleeve. Jonathan looks at him, and Will mutters something, to quite to hear. Jonathan mutters something back, with a small smile, and ruffles his hair. Will doesn't giggle like he did when Nancy did the same thing. He just looks between his brother and best friend.

Everything feels like it's too much. It's too hot, but it's too cold. He feels like he's sinking into the couch but feels like they can see too much.

With a deep breath, Mike stands and, with shaking legs, walks up the stairs to go to his room, where if he wants to do something - something embarrassing, he can.

It's his own space.

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